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MOON DAUGHTER 2, EVERYBODY!

Yes, it is taking way to long for me to write the next chapter of the Official Fanfiction Academy. It's not fair to leave you in the dark, so I'm posting some sporkery instead, since making fun of other people's work is so much easier than writing my own.

For those of you who have no idea what the hell Moondaughter, or a spork, or Brapple and Gumblick is: Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate. And allow me to explain. Moondaughter, aka "The My Immortal of PJO", is a 72 chapter acid-trip delving into the sick twisted mind of author xxMoonlitexx, represented via her self-insert Mary Sue, Flavia Maya Lilith Knight. Flavia is like a black hole of Crap, wherever she goes, the canon is contorted into a geography-less hellscape of OOC and WTF. Space warps, time bends and the Daughter of Artmeis kills indiscriminately. It is, as you can imagine, hilarious, especially when I add my "witty commentary".

You can read the first Dramatic Commentating if you'd like (you masochist, you), but I'm pretty sure you'll be confused with or without continuity. I sure am.

Notes... They have a "open marriage" so she can keep being a slut make deimgod daughters So, she's going to bring demigods into the world so they can be hunted by monsters and grow up resentful, just like she did? That's just evil! so if she gets in love with any one else ITS NOT CHEATING ok, its polyaymry an its real thing, look it up if you dont beleve me. Well, polyamory is a real thing. Although something tells me this marriage isn't as open for poor Alabaster. Also don't judge, there gods so they have different standards.

1. Now I Am a Godess

My name is Flavia Maya Lillith Knight and once I was a demigod. But that was before Moon Daughter happened. So now I am the godness of dark magicks, hunting (like my mom who is Artmeis) white tigers, lepards an also fighting to win as opposed to fighting to loose. (Theres a story about how I become a godess, its called "Moon Daughter" an if you dont know what that is you better go read it right now.) Ok, so, is Flavia writing Moondaughter and Moondaughter 2 in universe? Are they like, her autobiographies? I was a deimgod once but...now I am a godess an I am also married to Albaster Toringtan who is teh god of magicks. He was acutely a deimgod too but now hes a god cause Hecate. Im 16 Albaster is also 16, we will be 16 for ever and internally. I'd say you're around 12 internally.

We had a very kick ass wedding that happened in the very last chapter of "Moon Daughter" More like second to last chapter of Moondaughter. That damn book would not end! an now we went on a honey moon up to Olympus. We had a place all made from stone black marble, it was now our only home. So, you're relinquishing command of Camp Jupiter and never returning to Earth? Please! Pretty please! Albaster drove me there on his motercycle, I sat behind him an tears climed my face How can they climb up your face if they come from your eyes? Does Flavia cry out of her Adam's apple?... Ok, now I'm squicked out. but...they were not tears of sad but tears of joy. There were black velvite curtins and furnture made of a silvery medal with scarlitt plush. Even their house is tacky and trichromatic. You'd think she'd get sick of black, silver and "scarlitt" after 16 years! There was a winded staircase going up to a indoored bacony, also a god size bed with a canipy. Bacony and canipy sound less like furniture and more like members of the Sicilian Mafia. Note...this next part is teens an up rated Oh God. What could be so bad even xxMoonlitexx thinks it needs censoring?! We've already had cannibalism, necrophilia and other things who's memories I've suppressed! so dont read if your a kid spoilers! "If your 'a kid' spoilers?"

*prepares the Brain Bleach*

*Gets into bunker*

We... *assumes fetal position* did it! GYAHH! NOOOOO! Also our hearts were tined with love Ew... I'm not even really sure what "tined with love" means, but Ew... but this Im keepin this teen rated like "Pg 13" so thats all you will ever know about it! ...Wait, seriously? That's it? Oh-oh thank God! The Spork Lords have been merciful this day!

(Warning, if your a perv om disguse You're the perv here. Flavia and Alabaster are minors, neither their marriage or their intercourse is legal., you know like a Pedrophile Pedrophile- a lover of Pedros. Welp, I think Pedro Pascal was awesome in the Mandalorian, so guess I'll just see myself out..., GO AWAY! but only if ur a pedopile, other wise, stay your ass here But I don't wanna stay my ass here!)

Then I gaseped cause... I had twins! Seriously?! You've only done it couple minutes ago! No wonder Artmeis wanted to keep Flavia a virgin! She apparently has a gestation period of a half minute! "Omg what will we name them" Said Albaster who was not freaked out by the sudden BIRTH OF TWINS.

"Well...the girl will be "Artmeis 2" Will be?... Oh, wait, is she just pregnant? How can she tell she's pregnant this early?! And how can she already tell the gender of the babies?! and the boy will be called Percy Jackson Oooh. Naming your firstborn son after your ex? That's cold. " I said but Albaster started to cry! Poor guy. Only half a day in and his marriage is falling apart.

"Why u crying" I asked, sensatively. If you were remotely sensitive, Flavia, you wouldn't have named the kid Percy Jackson! I mean yeesh, there's polygamous relationships and then there's just unfaithfulness!

"You love Percy" He cried desparely. Plus, I'm pretty sure at the end of the last book Percy started dating Ivy.

"No but I love you" I ensured him and he just bought this without question I guess so he said "Ok where do you want to go honeymoon" Did the shock of Flavia's pregnancy short circuit your brain? You're already on the honeymoon!

"But we just did teh honeymoon, Shortest honeymoon ever. remember" I remembered him. See, even Flavia isn't this amnesiac!

"Yes but...we will have 2 honey moons maybe even 6 cause WE ARE fukin gods thats why" If you have a bunch of honeymoons in a row, it's just one big honeymoon. Yelled Albaster hotly! "an we make the rules" he said too.

"Omg is this true!" "Yes" "Ok then we must pack but...twins"

"They will be borned tomorrow" WHAT?! Apparently I was right about the impossibly short gestation period! Albaster explaned "Hecate told me in a dream that apparently occurred sometime in the 80 seconds between us finding out and me saying this BECAUSE HECATE. , also the girl will have gray silver eyes with some purple like a misted crayon. What the hell is a misted crayon?! An the boy will have like a 8 pack Sexualizing your unborn children. But...only after hes grown up" well sorry to dispoint u PEDOPHILES! (y are u still here) ...This can't be an accident, right? Like, she has to be doing this on purpose. This is way too funny to not be on purpose!

So, you've got less than a day before you give birth, to twins no less! Clearly, your first priority should be to get to a hospita-Then I put on some eye liner. Or have a fashion montage instead! Then I put on some black converses with red inside. Then...Kornos!1 DUN DUN DUN! Wait what?! Who?! How?! Why?! But it was not really Kornos. It was an out of nowhere non sequitur. It was a vision, like a halcination an I realized with emptiness that my life as a demigod might of given me some trama, it would for ever be real in my dreams. Oh great. Moondaughter 2 deals with PTSD. Please. Even Baywatch would be more tactful than you. Then I went on the motercycle an we drove to our honey moon place. It was...camp Half Blood! Seriously?! You're gonna give birth there?! Aren't you still in exile anyway?! my chiled hood home Your "chiled hood home" was the alleys of NYC City. You were at Camp Halfblood for like, two months! And you hated it!

Feelings of remembery swepped over me "Omg Albaster, look theres the Artmeis cabin which I never lived in" In my mind I snerked cause there would never be no one in it now, cause I was only the daughter of Artmeis! Keep telling yourself that. Artmeis broke her vows once, she'll break them again. It glowed moonly. I'll take "moonly" over "darkly" any day.

"Flavia I thought you were exiled?" whined the only person with any regard for continuity a Apherdite girl, her name was Drew and no offensive but she was a bitch and if you read the books they will tell you its so. Ok, weird meta reference to the books aside, for once I'll have to agree with Flavia. Drew was a bitch.

"Silence or thy will be fluinged into the pit og Tarterus" Yelled Chiron Wonderful mentoring there bucko. , it was...Chiron! He was a center. This means like he was a middle point of a circle or sphere, equidistant from every point on the circumference or surfacea black horse from his waste down but from above his waste he was a seemly man, last time I saw him he had long black hair an pale skin but now he was Tan because I guess Flavia is starting to get over her prejudice against skin tones darker than 000C, also he had a beard but a big bush one, just a small fitted one like Tony Stark in the avengers. Was it big and bushy or small and fitted?! Make up your mind! Also, what Tony Stark has is called a goatee.

"Chiron why are you here" I asked, Um, he runs the place? but Drew intercepted me! "Make Flavia go away. She sux at being a deimgod" Drew sneered with a sneer of Hate. Oh Drew. You poor, doomed dumbass.

"Not but...I AM A GOD AN YOU WILL FUKING RESPECT ME YOU APHERDITE BITCH" Oooh, Drew's gonna get it! Instantly dark irradiated from me with rays of night and some green magick an Drew was so horrrorfied she fell in the mud an it runed her Abercramby an Fitch cloths so they could never be washed again! Even with bleech Big whoop Abercromby and Fitch isn't exactly high fashion. I was expecting significantly more murder!

"There is no time for this!" Yelled Chiron! "The oracle had spoken and it spoken of a prophacy and this prophacy was was about... a child of Demeter we've never seen before no just kidding it's Flavia!" Because who else would it be?

"What did it say" I demanded swiftly.

"Well thou will know with time" He expanded wisely, then he left. I guess "there is no time for this!" is just Chiron-code for "pay attention to me and my enigmatic ramblings!"

"Well that was amystrerious thing for him to say" Said Albaster.

"I dont know, lets go visit Ivy" Ivy was my bff, also a dryad but you shouldn't judge her for this cause 1, its ok to be a durad an 2, green is sexly. This PSA was brought to you by: Tactlessness. But she wasn't there, only Jason was there. He was tall musseled, and blond in his brony cloths *snigger* This will never not be funny.. Last year when I was a deimgod he came to me as a brony, an I accepted him for this with out judging except for when I judged him. He was "evil" for a few chapters but, we sorted this out in the end an now we dont fight any more.

"Hi" Said Jason,bronyly.

"Hey how if your life" Said Albaster, not cause he loved Jason but cause they were like 'brothers' or maybe 'friends.' "Brothers" like Achilles and Patroclus.

"Well I had a romantice date last night!" Said Jason and now there was a big simile on his face like a spring rain when it first glimmers from the clouds. That is a big simile! We smiled too cause acutely he was dating Fluttershy...But not really, just a actress, but he thought she was Futtershy so we let him. Haha! They're encouraging his psychosis!

Suddenly some one sat at our table with us! I was so angry I nearly expoded "Wtf how are you alive an what the fuk are you doing here?!"

It smiled with a look of evil, an I knew it was...Octavius! *HANDEL'S MESSIAH* YESSSSSSSSS! HE HAS RETURNED! MY HERO!

WARNING: If you are a sanity-phile GO AWAY! But if you've got a few brain cells to waste and a fascination with the macabre, stay your ass here!