Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious and Highlander.
Author's note: This is dedicated to Emma G, Bella XXX, Kevin JZ, Vicky Laurens, John Mantiez, SothernBabeNo.1, Ella_Magic, Jake Rubeus, Stetson, Dave BB, Kelly of the Bathroom, Cindy of the Bedroom, Camping-Trip Cory and Alexandra Munroe III.
Author's note 2: Isaiah Flamez is NOT allowed to read this story!
Author's note 3: Don't ask for more chapters / sequel / prequel, because such things will never happen.
Author's note 4: Emma G and Bella XXX gave me ideas for this story, so thanks so much to both of them for that.
Author's note 5: All the swords in the story are based on actual swords that I own or have seen.
Keldonah Arensium
From the dawn of time itself we came, walking in silence among you, down during the centuries.
Living many secret lives.
None of you ever knew we were among you...until now!
I'm Keldonah Arensium, a warrior-bitch.
People these days might know me better as Jade Sharon West.
On a hill in Ireland stands a 26 year old woman.
She has dark hair and black clothes.
There's a sword on her belt.
Her name is Keldonah Arensium and actually she only seem 26 and is in truth much older.
Keldonah was born here in Ireland during the summer of the year 1455.
"I'm fucking awesome." says Keldonah.
During her long life she's had several identities.
As of now she goes by the name Jade Sharon West and this might be her favorite name, other than her real name.
She no longer live in Ireland.
Instead she live in LA where she work part-time as a porn actress.
The reason she has been alive so long and still look like a 26 year old is that she is an immortal, one of those rare who was born with what is known by most as an 'unholy immortality' that only becomes active after the person's first death.
All of the immortals has to fight until only a single one remain.
In order for an immortal to die their head must be cut off.
Because of this, most immortals carry swords.
"Fear? No, that is an emotion I've never truly felt, since my first death." says Keldonah, being very hardcore, badass and confident.
She's been that way for a very long time.
Ever since shorly after her first death.
Her personality was very different before that.
"Fuck, yeah. I refuse to give up." says Keldonah.
She's extremely stubborn.
After her first death she was trained by another immortal named Alenrice Morier.
Later on Keldonah killed Alenrice and took her Quickening for herself.
Keldonah then went on to take many many more heads, eventually becoming one of the strongest immortals.
Though she is not the strongest one of them all.
That place goes to Zekoy Panteris, a woman who has more in common with Keldonah than Keldonah would ever admit.
Zekoy and Keldonah first met near the Russian border in 1578 and has been rivals and enemies since then.
Many times over the years has Zekoy tried to kill Keldonah, but every single time, Keldonah has managed to make it our alive.
"Sexy." says Keldonah, getting horny.
Keldonah is oversexual, but unfortunately for her this is not an advantage because her strong love for sex has lead to near death several times during her long and immortal life.
Despite this, she has sex often with people she find to be good enough for her.
"Oh, no..." says Keldonah as she feel something.
Another immortal is nearby.
Immortals has the ability to sense each other's presence in their mind.
"Babe, long time no sexy see." says an evil female voice.
Keldonah turn around and sees a woman she's met several times before.
It is an evil immortal slut named Regina Mordo, who has the looks of a 26 year old, just like Keldonah herself.
"Well, I'm glad we don't get to stare upon each other very often, bimbo." says Keldonah.
"Too bad. I sort of like you. Sure, you're an enemy, but at least you are sexy." says Regina.
Regina is dressed in a very casual way, wearing a pink t-shirt, baggy navy-blue sweatpants and old dirty sneakers.
Her hair is in a sloppy ponytail.
"Let's duel." says Regina as she draw her sword, a one-handed simple old falchion.
"As you wish, loser-girl." says Keldonah as she draw her own sword, a classic medieval arming-sword as far as basic shape and size, but it has some slightly fancy personal decorations, such as Keldonah's name egraved onto the wide part of the blade in golden viking-runes and a small green gem inserted into the pommel.
Regina strike with her sword, but Keldonah easy block the attack and kick Regina right in the pussy and cut off some of her hair.
"Fuck! Ya damaged me hair, ya fuckin' piece of poop." says Regina in anger.
"I don't care." sasy Keldonah as she cut Regina's t-shirt in half, also doing some minor damage to Regina's left boob.
"Easy...those are me boobs, damn it...!" says Regina in a mix of anger and pain.
"Yeah and I think I'll cut them off." says Keldonah.
"No! Ain't up for that crap, ya fuckin' bitch." says Regina in anger.
Keldona disarm Regina and cut off Regina's head.
Blue lightning jump from Regina's body and lift up Keldonah into the air as a strong hard wind blow through the area.
"Fuck, yes! Holy shit..." scream Keldonah as her body and mind and soul absorb all of Regina's skills and memories.
This is known as the Quickening.
3 days later, Keldonah returns to LA to continue her life as Jade West.
She carry her sword in a bag over her shoulder with a strap.
"Damn sexy to be home." says Keldonah, who consider LA her true home, despite having been born in Ireland.
Once back in her cozy LA apartment, she takes off all her clothes, plop down on the couch and drink beer and masturbate while watching porn on TV.
"Mmmm!" moans Keldonah, being really horny.
She finger-fuck her pussy hard and slow.
Her pussy is all wet.
"Mmm...sexy!" moans Keldonah.
2 days later.
"Oh, yeah." says a happy Keldonah, who is in her black car on the way to work.
Suddenly another car is right in the middle of the street, blocking her way.
Keldonah slam her foot on the break and her car stop only a few inches from the other car.
That sharp annoying headache pop up her head, telling her that the eprson in the other car must be Zekoy Panteris.
"Not today." says Keldonah, who wanted a day without problems.
She then remembers that she forgot to bring her sword with her.
"Holy crap..." sasy Keldonah.
Keldonah turn off onto another street to avoid Zekoy.
"Damn!" says Zekoy in anger as she follow Keldonah.
"I gotta get rid of her..." says Keldonah.
She get an idea.
At high speed she drive down to the the port.
When she is almost about to drive into the sea she makes a qucik sudden U-turn.
Zekoy isn't prepared so she drive by accident straight out into the sea.
"Alright..." says Keldonah with a sigh of relief as she drive to work.
5 hours later, after work.
Keldonah is home.
She eat a burger and drink coffee.
She is almost naked, wearing only shoes and a necklace.
On the other side of the city a woman enter an office.
The woman is named Melody Laurens and she work for the police.
She walk over to a man who sit by a computer.
His name is Beck Oliver and he's a history professor.
"I went over any info regarding Miss West's apartment, including the previous owners back to the original babe Capulet in 1795." says Beck.
"And...?" says Melody.
"They're all the same person. In each case, Capulet through West, I found birth-certificates of children with those exact names who'd died at birth or shortly afterwards. Somehow this bitch, known today by the name of Jade West, has been creeping around since at least late 1700s, pretending to die every now and then, leaving all she owns to kids who's been corpses for years and then taken on their identities. If you don't trust me, look at this." says Beck.
On his computer Beck pull up the scanned-in signatures of the people who's signed for ownership of Keldonah's apartment on Rosemont Street.
The names are: Arielle Josephine Capulet, Gina Evelyn Moriarte, Liza Walleria Stetson, Annabelle Kate Rhodes, Hannah Ruby Andersen and Jade Sharon West.
Beck takes letters from each name and build the name Jade Sharon West and it looks exactly like the original signature for that name.
"See? Whoever this woman truly is she's somehow been alive for who knows how long and keeps on changing her name at certain points in time in order to avoid detection." says Beck.
"That's supposed to be impossible..." says Melody.
"I'd agree, but all the evidence tells us otherwise." says Beck.
2 days later as the sun goes down.
Keldonah enter an old abandoned factory just outside the city.
She suddenly feel that pain in her head that tells her that another immortal is there.
"Who the fuck are you? Don't hide like a pooping kid, get out in the damn open and face me like a woman, loser." says Keldonah, all hardcore and confident.
"Keldonah, still as sexy as ever I can see!" says a sassy evil female voice.
The lighs in the huge room goes on and up on the walkway around the room stands an immortal slut who now in modern times goes by the name Cindy Thorne.
She looks like a young woman, but is not.
"Oh, it's you? Unfortunately not glad seeing you once more, bimbo." says Keldonah.
"That's sad, Keldonah...or whatever the shit they call ya these days, girl." says Cindy as she draw her sword, a slim Italian sidesword.
"Jade West's my current name, but you have no use for such info 'cause soon you'll be dead crap, for sure." says Keldonah as she draw her sword.
Cindy jump down to stand face to face with Keldonah.
The 2 women starts to fight.
Keldonah has the advantage.
"Uh...Jade West, was it? Kinda sexy name." says Cindy.
"Thanks. Not that your opinion's ever been of value to me." says Keldonah.
Keldonah cut off some of Cindy's curly hair.
Keldonah then reach a hand under Cindy's super-short pink skirt and finger-fuck her pussy hard and fast to distract Cindy who is a lesbian.
When Cindy is distracted, Keldonah punch her in the left boob and then...cut off her head.
Keldonah absorb Cindy's Quickening.
"Fuck, yes!" screams Keldonah, almost as if she has a huge powerful orgasm.
3 days later.
"Mmmm!" moans Keldonah as she finger-fuck her pussy.
She's in her car.
The sun is going down.
"Fuck, yeah!" moans Keldonah.
Keldonah has had a very easy time adapting ti life in the modern era, unlike some other immortals.
Her actual hair-color is a medium light brown, but since she took on the name of Jade West she has dyed her hair all black.
This was partly to make her look different from her previous identity of Hannah Andersen, but also because she's always wanted black hair.
When time came for her to end her days as Hannah, she jumped off a skyscraper, pretending to die, but being an immortal she survived.
She faked her own death and took on the identity of Jade West with her new black hair-color and different fashion-style.
As Hannah she pretended to be a very sweet girlie woman, but as Jade she is much more like her true self, a sexual hardcore woman.
Keldonah is happy about the fact that she still has a minimum of 20 years left before she needs to change indentity again.
She already know what her next identity will be though.
It will be Bella Crow, a whore.
"Mmmm!" moans Keldonah.
During her long immortal life Kledonah has not had any real friends.
This is because she wanna avoid the emotionaö pain of losing someone when she herself will continue to be alive.
She only had one semi-friend named Catrasie Violetta who was killed in the 1970s.
Catrasie was immortal and upon her death went by Cat Valentine.
Catrasie was killed by another immortal named Recuulianne Anterpo.
Keldonah later ( in 1984 ) killed Recuulianne.
As such Catrasie is always a part of Keldonah, since an immortal's soul is part of the Quickening and since Recuulianne took Catrasie's Quickening and Keldonag took Recuulianne's, Keldonah carry Catrasie within her now.
When it comes to sexuality Keldonah is straight, even though she's still had sex with women a few times during her long life.
She finger-fuck harder and faster.
"Damn, girl." mumbles Keldonah, all slutty.
6 minutes later.
"Fuck, yes!" moans Keldonah as she get a very sexy orgasm.
She drive home.
Once home she drink some wine and eat a burger.
"Sexy." says Kledonah.
Kledonah was born Irish, but you cannot tell from her voice now.
Because she's lived in so many places her accent is very mixed.
She's lived in Sweden, Italy, Egypt, Russia, Australia, Denmark, Canada, China, Japan and South Africa, but she think of the United States as her true home, since that's where she's lived the most.
"Okay." says Keldonah as she put her tight black leather pants back on.
Then she sharpen her sword.
"I'm damn sexy." says Keldonah in a slutty voice.
She is happy, even if it doesn't seem that way.
As soon as her sword is sharp again, Keldonah takes off all her clothes and takes a nice cold shower.
"Yeah!" moans Keldonah as she wash her erotic body.
Keldonah slowly and gently wash her body, every single part of it.
"Mmmm!" moans Keldonah, getting horny again.
This often happens in the shower for her.
She is oversexual.
The next day.
Keldonah get home from work.
She takes off her big black leather overcoat and kick off her shoes.
"Today was damn erotic." says Keldonah as she plop down on the couch in a casual way.
She is happy.
"Nice. Rick was so sexy." says Keldonah.
Rick Ravenflight was the male porn actor she had sex with at work for some scenes.
She is happy that she hasn't had to fight another immortal today.
3 days later.
"Okay." says Keldonah.
She sit naked in bed, watching porn and eating ice cream.
Usually she stay away from ice cream and such, but sometimes she allow herself a sweet treat like that and today's such a time.
"Yummy." says Keldonah.
It's a day off from work for her.
"Damn nice." says Keldonah.
The porn she's watching is from the same studio she herself work for, but she isn't in this porn.
4 hours later.
Keldonah is walking in the 'bad' part of the city.
Suddenly she sense another immortal nearby.
"Okay..." says Keldonah.
"Hello, babe." says a lesbian immortal as she step out from the shadows and stand behind Keldonah.
"Giselle Beckstrom, I held hope that you'd already be killed by now." says Keldonah as she turn around to face her opponent.
"Sorry, but me is so fucking alive, babe. I'm gonna take your head." says Giselle as she draw her sword.
The sword Giselle use is a French smallsword.
Keldonah draw her swor as well.
They start to fight.
"Kiss your pussy bye-bye!" says Giselle as she try to cut Keldonah on the left shoulder.
Keldonah easy block the attack.
She then stab Giselle in the left boob.
"Hey! That's a boob...don't damage the boobs, girl." says Giselle in anger.
"I don't give a fuck about your crappy boobs. Perhaps I should cut them both to pieces." says Keldonah.
"No way!" says Giselle as she try to stab Keldonah in the stomach.
"You've gotten slow." says Keldonah as she easy block the attack.
"Fucking wrong!" says Giselle, all angry.
Kledonah knock the sword from Giselle's hand.
"There can be...only one!" says Keldonah, all badass.
She cut off Giselle's head.
"Holy shit, the Quickening is so damn sexy!" moans Keldonah as she is pulled into the air and blue lightning jump from Giselle's body into her body and wild wind sweap through the area.
The next day.
Keldonah enter a church.
Usually she never go to church, but today it is Catrasie's birthday and because of that she goes to the church to pray in memory of Catrasie.
"Happy b-day, girl. You were cute." mumbles Keldonah as she light a candle and think about Catrasie a bit.
Keldonah then take a seat in the back-row.
"Yvette Horton's dead, baby. It's just you and me." says Zekoy Panteris as she take a seat behind Keldonah.
"Not really. There are others." says Keldonah as she turn her head to look at Zekoy.
"Those sluts are weak. They don't fuckin' count as a challenge." says Zekoy with an evil smile.
"Crappy hair-style you have." says Keldonah when she notice that Zekoy has almost no hair left on the head.
"I'm in disguise, girl. This way no one know who the shit I am." says Zekoy.
"I do." says Keldonah.
"True." says Zekoy.
"You'll be dead crap soon, Zekoy." says Keldonah.
"Not here. This is holy ground, Keldonah. Remember what Sarah Lane taught you, old friend." says Zekoy.
"I was never a friend of yours." says Keldonah.
"Oh, too bad..." says Zekoy.
"Don't fake anything. I know you only care for your own ass and nobody else." says Keldonah.
"Cute. You know me too well, girl." says Zekoy.
"I've had plenty of time to get to know you, bitch." says Keldonah.
"Awww! Thanks soooo much!" says Zekoy with rude sarcasm.
"No problem, old perv." says Keldonah.
"Sexy." says Zekoy, getting horny.
"Bye for now. See you somewhere else." says Keldonah as she leave the church.
"Fuckin' true." says Zekoy.
2 weeks later.
"Sexy." says Keldonah, dancing naked at a party for the porn-studio she work part-time at.
The music she dance to is heavy metal music, which she like a lot.
"Fuck, yeah." thinks Keldonah with a slutty smile.
Keldonah seem horny.
"No..." says Keldonah as suddenly the lights break and everyone else run out from the room in fear.
"Hi, girl." says an evil immortal named Laura Zeckwald as she enter the room.
Laura draw her sword, a Greek shortsword.
"Laura? Never thought we'd meet again." says Keldonah as she grab her sword.
"Yeah, it's me. Aren't you happy to see me again after so long?" says Laura.
"No." says Keldonah.
"Why?" says Laura confused.
"You are an enemy of mine and I hate you." says Keldonah as she jump off the stage, spin and cut off Laura's head.
Keldonah absorb Laura's Quickening.
"Fuck, yeah! There can be only one!" screams Keldonah.
4 days later.
The sun has gone down.
Zekoy Panteris and another immortal female swordfight in a small dark alleyway.
"Give up. I'm the stronger one." says Zekoy as she swing her big black two-handed sword.
The sword knock down the other woman.
"I refuse to give up..." says the other woman named Jenny Larsen.
Jenny stand back up.
"You're retarded, Jenny!" says Zekoy as she stab her sword all the way right through Jenny's vagina.
Jenny screams in pain.
"There can be only one!" roars Zekoy and then cut off Jenny's head.
Zekoy absorb Jenny's Quickening.
"Damn, fuck!" moans Zekoy as a blue storm of lightning spin around her and also blast down the windows of the buildings around her.
Clearly this makes Zekoy horny.
The next day.
Keldonah read a newspaper where it i written about a woman having had her head cutt off.
It is Jenny.
"Zekoy must be the one who killed Jenny." says Keldonah.
Her guess is of course correct.
5 hours later.
Keldonah enter an apartment.
"Hi, Jade." says Melissa Tourpin, the babe who lives there.
"Hi, Mel." says Keldonah.
Melissa is a Watcher, a mortal pacifist who's job it is to keep a record of the life of an immortal as well as giving that immortal advices and such.
"Looks as if the Gathering's near." says Melissa.
"Indeed." says Keldonah.
"So, how many heads have you taken? In total during your life." says Melissa.
"Couldn't really tell. I don't keep score." says Keldonah.
"Well...I do." says Melissa as she type in Keldonah's name into a special program on her laptop.
On the screen a photo of Keldonah appears and under the photo it says "Keldonah Arensium - 357 confirmed immortal kills."
"Sounds about right." says Keldonah.
"Good...this is your enemy, girl..." says Melissa as she type in Zekoy's name.
Zekoy's photo appear on the screen along with "Zekoy Panteris - 969 confirmed immortal kills."
"Holy shit, that's a lot." says Keldonah.
"Yes. I fear that it might not be possible to defeat her." says Melissa.
"Don't worry. I'll kill her." says Keldonah.
"I hope so, but I'm not sure you can. She's powerful." says Melissa.
"Zekoy's evil. I'm going to stop her from taking the Prize." says Keldonah.
"Jade, do you think you deserve the Prize more than her?" says Melissa.
"Very much so. I may not be a fully good girl, but I am way nicer than she has ever been. And don't call me Jade, my name's Keldonah." says Keldonah.
"Sorry, Keldonah." says Melissa.
"Alright, girl. You're mortal, but you're not too crappy." says Keldonah.
"Thanks." says Melissa.
"No probme, I guess." says Keldonah.
2 days later.
Keldonah fight another immortal babe.
"Vicky, you can not win. I'm more powerful than you." says Keldonah as she disarm the other babe named Vicky Adamas.
"Please...have mercy..." says Vicky as she goes down on her knees.
"No, sorry. There can be only one." says Keldonah as she cut off Vicky's head.
Keldonah absorb Vicky's Quickening.
"Fuck, yes!" moans Keldonah as she is pulled into the air by the blue lightning.
The next day.
"Shit, fuck! There can be only one!" roars Zekoy as she cut off the head of an immortal named Eva Stavengie.
Eva was one of the last 3.
Now Keldonah and Zekoy are the last 2 immortals still standing.
Which means one of them will get the Prize.
"Fuckin' damn...yes!" moans Zekoy, almost getting an orgasm.
The next day.
Keldonah sit at Starbucks, drinking coffee and eating a sandwich.
"Hi, babe." says Zekoy as she walk up to Keldonah.
"What the fuck do you want?" says Keldonah.
"Just here to tell ya that we're the last 2. Eva is dead like a fart." says Zekoy.
"I understand." says Keldonah.
"Today's not the time for our final abttle, but fear not. It's not far away." says Zekoy.
"Sexy. You'll lose." says Keldonah.
"No, not at all." says Zekoy in anger.
"You cannot kill me here and now. This is holy ground. A now forgotten native American tribe used to have a ritual site at this very location." says Keldonah.
"Indeed. See ya, babe." says Zekoy and then walk away.
5 days later.
"No more Jade West..." says Keldonah, who is sad that her time as Jade must end early.
Even if she win the Prize she has to move on to her next false identity.
"The Gathering's here." says Keldonah as she hide her sword under her coat and then walk out to her car.
She drive to the old Hepson Beer brewery outside the city.
Keldonah feel no fear as she walk into the building.
All the lights in the factory are off.
"Zekoy! Show your STD-filled body instead of sneaking in the shadows like a weak retarded insecure whore." says Keldonah.
"As ya wish!" says Zekoy as she swing down on a rope.
The two women starts to fight and seem to be almost equal in power and skill.
Zekoy has a slight advantage, since her sword is bigger and has a very masculine body.
Keldonah is still able to match Zekoy really well.
42 minutes later.
"Ya shall now die, baby!" roars Zekoy as she swing her sword, all wild and crazy.
This is what Keldonah needs.
Because Zekoy gets overconfident and think she'll win, Keldonah can now take over the lead in the fight.
"You've had your last orgasm, old perv!" says Keldonah.
Keldonah and Zekoy attack at the same time.
Keldonah avoid Zekoy's strike and with a single move of her sword she slice off Zekoy's head.
"There can be...only...one!" says Keldonah.
Suddenly a huge wind shockwave blast through the room and shatter all the big windows.
Lots of blue lightning lift up Keldonah from the floor and then spin around her at high speed.
"Fuck, yes! All knowledge and power is mine!" screams Keldonah, almost getting an orgasm.
Her body absorb the knowledge, skill, power and memories of every single immortal that's ever existed.
"Holy shit...I know everything...I am everything!" moans Keldonah, now actually having an orgasm.
Her black tight leather pants split in half, revealing her wet sexy pussy and the blade of her sword break into 4 pieces.
Once it's over and Keldonah is back on the ground again she feel that the Prize is not what she or anyone else thought it would be.
It's not ultimate power, instead it is the gift of being mortal.
This means Keldonah can finally relax and have a normal life and have kids, since immortals usually cannot have biological kids.
"Wow!" says Keldonah as she feel peace for the first time since before she became and immortal.
She walk out to her car and drive home.
Since she is now mortal she can continue to be Jade for the rest of this final life of hers.
2 years later she meet Beck.
They start dating and 4 years later they get married and have a very cute little daughter named Emma Kelly West.
The End.