Prologue: Waking Up

There's no way any of us can tell what will happen. At times there are things we wish we had done. Sometimes we're glad we didn't act when we could've. I regret two things in my life. One was discovering the existence of an Infinity Stone. The second was checking myself from telling Bucky my feelings. I think it's much better to do something and regret it rather than not do it at all and regret what could have been. But let's start at the beginning, shall we? When I first met Bucky and Steve. My two best friends. It was in Brooklyn. The year was 1933.

I wiped the sweat off my brow. It was an uncharacteristically hot day even though it was already autumn. I tried to ignore the churning in my stomach. Maybe this was all a big mistake. Maybe I should have gone back to a segregated school. It was a new experience to be sure, being surrounded by people who were taller, whose eyes and hair were lighter than mine. As a half-Chinese, half-American girl, I had always attended segregated schools since my youth.

Brooklyn High was the only high school available for miles around where I lived, and it integrated students of all colors and backgrounds. It was why I was currently standing nervously at the edge of the school grounds, trying not to hyperventilate as I took in the old red brick buildings.

I swallowed and took a big step forward. As I walked, I noticed some familiar faces in the crowds of the schoolyard. Everyone was bunched into groups. Most of the Asian kids stuck together, while most of the whites stuck together on the other end of the schoolyard.

All things considered, I thought I was doing pretty well. Nothing bad had happened, yet. I wanted nothing more than to go home, but Mom had insisted that nothing bad would happen today. She was always encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone.

And of course, my first day of school was when a basketball decided to hit me in the face. It wasn't a stray ball, either. It was one of those basketballs that were thrown with intent and purpose. It moved too fast for me to get out of the way. The force knocked me to the ground, head pounding on the asphalt. I could hear the vague echoes of laughter as my skin scraped the ground. At first there was no pain, but as the seconds stretched, the pain started to throb greater and greater.

I was in too much pain to be embarrassed that I had fallen on my face in front of the entire school's population. Everything had gone black for a quick heartbeat before fading back into place. I blinked, willing the pain to go away. Temple throbbing, I pushed myself in an upright position.

"I'm so sorry! You alright?" a boy ran up to me, placing his arms on my shoulders to steady me. "Quit laughing! She's hurt!" he yelled at the crowd gathering around us to see what all the fuss was about.

I blinked, stunned to find the boy's face so close to mine. He had striking blue eyes the color of water. It wasn't everyday I made direct eye contact with someone with blue eyes. My entire family had brown eyes, so blue eyes were something I wasn't used to. I was in awe of their color, but I was also a bit unnerved by their clear intensity.

"Can you stand?" he held his hand out towards me.

I stared at him as his long lashes fluttered, his eyebrows twisting in worry. I must have been staring at him for a long time because he gently shook my shoulder. He was genuinely concerned about me.

Dumbfounded, I allowed him to help me to my feet. The crowd began to disperse, disappointed that there was no show going on.

"Oh no, you're bleeding. C'mon there's still time before class starts. I'll take you to the infirmary," the boy wrapped his arm around my shoulders to support me, as if he was afraid I would fall.

I touched the edge of my face to feel something wet and sticky. I stared at my fingers, drenched in red.

"That would be nice," I managed to blurt out, already woozy from the sight of blood.

"This is all my fault. I'm really sorry 'bout that," the boy said, leading me with his arm in the direction of the infirmary. Apparently, he already knew his way around the campus. Perhaps he was one of the popular kids. He certainly had the looks for it.

"It's okay, it happens. You didn't mean to hit my head," I had to crane my neck to talk with him. It wasn't his fault entirely. My head had scraped the asphalt as I fell.

The boy looked over at me, curiosity growing on his features. "My name's Bucky, by the way. What's yours?" he smiled faintly.

"Clara."

"Clara. That's a pretty name," he fixed his gaze back to the hallway we traversed, a thoughtful look on his face. From the side, his eyelashes looked even longer.

I caught myself staring at him and looked away before he could notice. I blushed.

The school wasn't too big, so it was easy for Bucky to lead me around. There were the standard classrooms in red brick buildings. It was a funny feeling, being in an integrated school. It was an exhilarating experience for one thing. I felt sick thinking about my new teachers and classmates.

The infirmary was empty save for the school nurse. It was only the first day of school after all. Who would be getting injured on their first day? Apparently me.

Bucky gently knocked on the side of the door. He caught the attention of the nurse inside. "Excuse me? Ma'am? There was an accident. It was my fault. Could you please see to the cut on her head?" Bucky took his newspaper boy cap off his head as he entered the infirmary to show respect to the nurse.

"Oh, my poor dear," the nurse came towards me, "don't you worry, you'll be right as rain when I'm through with you," the nurse ushered me towards an empty bed. "As for you young man – "

"It wasn't his fault," I blurted out. Bucky and the nurse both stared at me, surprised at my declaration.

No one said anything. The only sounds were the ticking of the clock and the far off chatter of students playing on the schoolyard. Sunlight streamed in through the open windows of the infirmary.

I cleared my throat. "I fell."

Nurse Carrie, as she introduced herself, grimaced but let the subject drop.

Bucky didn't leave as the nurse patched me up. He sat patiently on one of the beds as he waited for the nurse to finish fussing over me. All the while he studied me intently with his blue eyes.

"What class you have in the morning?" Bucky spoke up. His voice broke the gentle sound of medical equipment clinking together and moving gauze.

"My first one is math," I said. I winced as Nurse Carrie pressed the alcohol dampened cloth against my face. The liquid burned against my skin, drying it out and killing any bacteria.

"That's my first class too! Do you have Mr. Hendrick?"

I nodded.

"We're classmates then! I'm glad we're in the same class," Bucky's lips split into a wide grin.

"Math is my worst subject," I suppressed a groan. "The numbers give me a headache."

Nurse Carrie began to apply a cool and creamy ointment to my temple.

"Well, how about I make it up to you by helping you with your math? If you have any questions, you can ask me. I'm really good at math," Bucky puffed out his chest, his white button down shirt straining against the buckles of his suspenders as he tried to make himself look bigger.

I smiled. "That would be nice. Thanks, Bucky."

A warm fuzzy feeling began creeping it's way into the pit of my stomach. Was this the beginning of what they called friendship? Sure, I had so-called friends during my early school years, but my so-called friends were just girls I had lunch with. I wasn't even sure what happened to them. Did they move to different neighborhoods? Were they out there on the schoolyard? Had they seen me get hit in the face by a rogue basketball? Would Bucky be my first friend? I could feel the start of another blush. Bucky was friendly enough and he seemed to want to be friends with me.

"Let's head to class together then," Bucky hopped to his feet, putting his cap back on after Nurse Carrie patched me up with some gauze. "Thank you ma'am."

"Thank you," I echoed.

Maybe high school wouldn't be so bad after all.

Like a dutiful gentleman, Bucky lead me to our first class. He chattered excitedly about the most mundane topics, but he had a way of making the most ordinary thing in life the most interesting thing. He was just telling me about a close friend of his named Steve and how he wanted to introduce me to him when we reached our classroom.

Bucky sat next to me in class.

The simple act of sitting next to me calmed me down. I would be able to focus on the actual lesson instead of worrying about having a nervous breakdown.

At the time I didn't know if Bucky wanted something from me or if he really wanted my companionship. I didn't have long to contemplate it. He proved he was my friend when he first defended me in our math class.

When class started, Mr. Hendrick had called on me to answer a question on the blackboard. I told him I didn't know how. A boy by the name of Anderson hollered at me, saying hurtful things: "Aren't Asians supposed to be good at math?" The entire class had a good laugh at that, except for Bucky and Mr. Hendrick.

I was in shock. I was no stranger to stereotyping, but I had let my guard down. I hadn't expected it to occur in a school setting. I had to remind myself that I was in an integrated school now.

"Shut up!" Bucky had yelled back.

After school, Anderson gave Bucky a black eye for that. But it was in that moment, when Bucky was nursing his headache in the school's back alley, grinning up at me from where he had been knocked to the ground, that I knew he was a true friend.

Bucky's best friend since childhood, Steve, was also picked on a lot. Steve had a small stature, though he was only an inch shorter than me, and dozens of ailments that made him an easy target for bullies.

I had first met Steve when a bully had tried to push him out of the lunch line on the first day of school. I got myself a detention and a throbbing hand when I punched Steve's bully in the jaw.

"I'm with you, Clara, Steve. 'Till the end of the line," Bucky would always say after he got beaten up defending one of us. It wasn't long until Bucky was the one who would do the beating. He wouldn't start fights, he would only act in defense of his friends, but he started to get very good at dodging and punching.

Though Bucky was extremely popular throughout the whole school with most of the students, and in particular, the girls, he always made time to hang out with me and Steve. The three of us were inseparable.

To my delight, I discovered Bucky was only a few blocks away from where I lived. It crossed my mind many times as to why we had never met before high school, but it was probably because of the segregated schooling.

Regardless, I was happy to have Bucky and Steve in my life.

As our friendship quickly deepened, the scar on my temple seemed to grow more adamant in staying. I didn't mind the scar. To me, it was a reminder of my first meeting with Bucky. My hair hid most of the slight scarring, but each time I looked in the mirror I would see my scar and remember Bucky and Steve, but in particular, I would think about Bucky.

It was my sixteenth birthday when I realized I was in love with Bucky.

For the occasion, Steve had suggested taking me to Rockaway Beach. Coney Island was out of the question. Bucky had taken Steve there once to ride the Cyclone – the latter throwing up because of the ride. So we decided to go to Rockaway Beach instead to spend the day.

We had spent the last of our money on hotdogs. Steve was teasing Bucky about getting a stuffed bear from one of the booths at the pier's fair for a girl named Dot – well, Dolores was her name, but Bucky liked to call her Dot.

As one of Bucky's best friends, I was privy to his many adventures with the opposite sex. At first I found it humorous how he tried to woo so many girls, but as time went on, I found it a bit infuriating that he would flirt with so many girls. I was a girl too, I had thought, so why didn't he ever flirt with me?

"You're really going to try and win that?" a hint of bitterness crawled its way into my voice.

We stopped in front of a booth with water guns and targets.

"You'll see," Bucky smirked at me.

I huffed, annoyed. I wished he would get that bear for me, I had thought to myself childishly. So far I was having a blast on the Beach, but because it was my birthday, I also wished with all my heart that Bucky would get me that bear. But a part of me also didn't want it, knowing that it was meant for Dolores.

Bucky spent all of his remaining three dollars on the booth to get the teddy bear. I was shocked when he handed the bear to me. A pink ribbon was wrapped around its neck.

"For you, Clara," Bucky's blue eyes were gentle as he looked at me. "I should be a sniper someday!"

All jealousy melted away. In that moment, I didn't care if the bear was meant for Dolores, or anyone else. Bucky was giving the bear to me and only me.

"Oh, Buck…" I accepted the bear. A lump lodged itself in my throat and tears began to swell in my eyes.

"Clara? What's wrong?" Bucky and Steve asked simultaneously, alarmed.

"Are you feeling sick?" Steve patted my back.

I shook my head, hugging the teddy bear to my chest. "No, it's not that, it's just that… what if we can never be together again like this?" I laughed and cried at the same time, knowing how ridiculous my question was. "I just feel like something bad is going to happen to us somehow, someday. What if we're torn apart?"

Bucky and Steve did what they could to cheer me up.

"What makes you think that?" Bucky asked.

"It's just too good to be true, the three of being together. It feels like a dream and it's time for me to wake up," I wiped away at my tears. "I don't want to wake up."

"You don't have to, Clara," Bucky soothed. Steve was still patting my back.

"We're all together aren't we? We're with you Clara," Steve began.

"- until the end of the line," Bucky finished.

I laughed in both relief and happiness.

For the rest of the day we swam in the shallow depths of the ocean with Bucky and Steve. Bucky could easily go into the deeper end of the Atlantic, but he didn't want to leave me and Steve behind. Steve, being of a weak constitution, couldn't swim very well. And me – I just didn't really know how to swim. Bucky promised he would teach me someday.

A promise that I burned into my memory.

At the end of the day, we had no money to purchase three train tickets, so had to catch a ride at the back of a freezer truck heading towards Brooklyn. The three of us rode off in the sunset.

From that day on I slept with the teddy bear at my side, always thinking of Bucky and Steve, but in particular, of Bucky. I still remember that birthday, how the setting sun reflected off of Bucky's clear blue eyes. The day I realized I was in love with Bucky. It was one of the best days of my life.

But like in all dreams, we have to wake up.