Alfred is tired of New York, and he has been since the expansion days, but he doesn't leave because he never leaves when he doesn't have to. He has always been shy in this regard, and thus has always been plagued by regrets, so he regularly compiles a list of reasons he's glad he's stayed.
His list changes every day, but these days he is usually glad to stay because he met a human, Amy, who he loves dearly. Today, however, he can't help reconsidering this reason for staying.
"I love you," Amy proclaims, "because you… you don't make me feel bad. I feel normal with you."
But Alfred, Alfred doesn't really feel normal with Amy, because he wouldn't describe the warmth he feels as 'normal'. So he asks her to elaborate.
"Like," she begins. "Like, my last boyfriend, you know… I just felt awful around him, all the time. I was scared of him, you know, but you don't make me feel scared at all. You don't make me feel anything. I don't have to think when I'm with you."
Alfred doesn't know what to say, so he just smiles and pulls her into a one-armed hug. As she acquiesces he wonders if he occupies nearly as much space in her mind as her last boyfriend does— but then, really, he can't. Perhaps it's unfair, perhaps he can never be quite so important to Amy's life story, but he's still rubbed the wrong way by how much she talks about him, how he is only ever better than worst.
…
Alfred's been thinking about the West a lot, how the people migrating West back in the day must have helped raise the cities so famous now, and how he would've liked to say he'd had a hand in a famous city. He's sitting at his coffee table thinking about this when Amy comes down and says, "Alfred, do you think we should break up?"
This takes Alfred by surprise, as just days prior she'd asked if he was really serious about this— just days ago she'd explained that she 'didn't want to waste time'.
"I-I mean, if you want to, then we should," he says. It's not even really a question.
Amy sits next to him, and Alfred can't help thinking that he isn't exactly a saint— he's always been prone to giving in to whoever might happen to want him, regardless of what he wants or doesn't want. That's how he was raised, and it's a habit that he hasn't been able to shake off, and maybe this is why he's here now. Alfred isn't without flaws, and he's just now realizing that Amy and he might be mutually incompatible, which is just now unbearably obvious.
Amy says, "OK," not all that sad about it, and Alfred supposes he isn't either. Alfred continues to sit at the coffee table as she gathers her stuff, and then he gets up to see her to the door.
"Bye, Amy," he says.
"Bye, Alfred."
Alfred closes the door and the first thought he has is, Damnit, I should've been a cowboy. And though he doesn't miss Amy yet, he still has a hard time sleeping that night.
A/N: So this story is based off experience— suffice it to say, my first girlfriend didn't love me. Anyway, this story is titled 'Cowboys' after the Counting Crows song, just cause it's a good song, and somewhat relevant to the story I guess. In the future when I name a piece after a CC song, I'll explain any connection I have to the song. I just don't have any connection to this one, other than that it's badass and I love it.
A review would be wonderful. Have a great day and stay safe.
