When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall

by InkletLetters

To understand the true value of a human's life, one must first experience first hand the creation of life. In other words the classical baby assignment plotline.

"In order to protect humanity, one has to fully understand the value of one life."

The lines of trainees stood still as the awaited their next assessment, their eyes fixated on Keith has he walked in between the rows. "The question we must as ourselves is how does one truly comprehend the value a human life?" Returning to his original position, looking down on all the faces before him, he took the clipboard from his subordinate's hand.

"We have prepared a test to push you lot beyond any limits you can think of; you all must take care of a baby for a week."

Clearing his throat, Keith explained how the assignment would work. Machine dolls built to mimic a baby's physical appearance, cries, hunger, and excretion function would be given to each pair and for a week the pair would have to take care of it. At the end of this week, the condition of this machine would assess to see how they preserved its life. Once each pair would be called, they would go up to receive their child and baby bag filled with necessities for the child, because as much as they were warriors in training, diaper shopping was another war for another time.

And obviously Eren and Mikasa were paired together, because as much as Keith hated himself, he didn't think he deserved that hell. And he could say the same with Ymir and Krista, but in all honestly Ymir and he already had an under-the-table deal going on with how these missions were going. In which, if he kept on paring those two together, she wouldn't spill the beans about the ODM gear. And Keith wasn't too sure how she found out because now that he thinks about it, there really isn't any way she could know. She didn't specify who's ODM gear and what entirely was meant what he did but he just assumed…

Wait – was he getting scammed? Probably. But life is a scam in itself and more importantly, this portion is going on long enough and wasn't even a funny bit from the start.

Soon only one small child stood in his place, the rest paired and awing at the dolls as if they actually created life and not playing a glorified version of 'play family'.

"Sir, I wasn't assigned a partner," Armin said, still in his salute.

Looking at his clipboard, Keith hummed, "That's right, we ran out of people, so you have to parent on your own." He handed the mechanical baby and it's kit to Armin, "Single fathers is nothing to be ashamed; besides I heard a guy who can raise a child is very attractive. Think of it as a saving grace to that haircut," ruffling Armin's hair, Keith started to leave to carry out the rest of his duties.

"Can I give myself my own backstory?" Armin took the sight of Keth's back as a 'yes'.

Armin raised the baby to eye level, losing the staring battle between the two, "I'm going to call you Armin Jr. – wait," he pulled the diaper slightly for a small peek, "never mind. Your new name will be Armin-a. Armina!"

Sasha and Connie were one those cadets that were to engross with this newfound parent hood. Squeezing the baby, as it let out a squeak similar to a rubber duck Sasha's eyes widen twice as large but not as big as it did when she saw the dinner meal two nights ago.

"It's like the real thing."

"So cool."

"Except it's not."

"So cool."

"Do we name it?"

"I guess, I mean that's what people do with a baby, right?"

"I actually wasn't named until I was three."

Connie finally stop looking at the baby to give Sasha a confused look, "What?"

"Yeah, my dad just kept calling me 'baby' until he thought of a good name."

"Maybe," Connie said, thinking, not like it would make a difference, "hear me out but what if we called the baby, baby?"

"Yeah, I feel like that name kinda fits it too, but" and now Sasha was thinking, for lack of better words, "we call it Consha? Like our names mushed together. Because its our baby."

"Okay but is it a boy or a girl? Because Consha is kinda a girly name."

"Good point, one sec –" Sasha placed her finger in the diaper to peek in but stopped midway. "Wait, if he –"

"Or she."

"Is a boy, wouldn't it be wrong for me – as a girl – to look into his diaper."

"Alright, pass it over I'll do it," passing the baby to Connie, Sasha hesitated. "Okay but what if it's a girl?"

"Oh shit, you're right!" Connie facepalmed, "man how do parents do this?" Shaking her head Sasha was as confused as her father was when thinking of a name for her. As for the baby, it remained between the two parents as the internally debated and externally panicked on how they'd go about their conundrum.

"Okay, I think I go this," Connie said, "why don't we call it Shonnie? Because that's like a gender neutral name, plus our names are still mashed together."

"Shonnie is probably the best name out there and nothing will top it, hands down." And the two looked at their share hold of the child, "Except not literally because then we'll drop Shonnie."

/

"I can't believe we have to raise a literal baby for a week," Eren said, picking up the baby with one hand. "I mean sure it's fake, but it feels so real, you know?"

Mikasa took the child from his hands, "Try holding it with two hands first, you don't want to drop it."

"We need to name him," Eren took the baby back, hold eye contact with the baby as if he could see into its metal soul. "I know just the name." Lifting the baby up to bast in the sunlight spooling in one of their cabins, he said with glint in his eyes, "Welcome to the family, TitanFucker325."

Mikasa shook her head, "I don't think we can call him that Eren."

"We can shorten it to Tifu."

"If you say so."

Eren sat Tifu on the table, "He's going to grow up being the best titan slayer the Survey Corps will ever see, just like his father."

"Eren, he's not your real child."

"What do you mean by that?" Eren said, holding a marker in one hand, a baby with facial hair similar to the late Dr. Jeager in the other. "Look at him, he looks like his grandfather already."

Shaking her head, Mikasa took the marker from Eren's hand, "Please don't do that."

Holding the baby in one hand and pulling out a sheet of paper with the other, Mikasa suggested that they draw out a parental plan, seeing as it was best to have some sort of idea as to how to they wanted to raise their child. With 'Titan Obliterator' in big letters at the top, Mikasa suggested they started to think 'smaller' because they only have the child for a week and its only skill so far is uncontrollably drooling over everything it touches, a far cry from being able to slice a titan's nape. In the end they agreed they should work together to get it to start walking, maybe say Eren's name.

"We're so on top of our game," Eren said, "I can't imagine this going wrong in any way possible."

And half expecting a bad omen, Eren and Mikasa were glad that instead they were greeted with a beaming Armin, his child sweetly resting in his hold. "You'll never believe who's a single father?"

"You seem like you've got the hang of this," Eren said.

"I have to admit, I thought there would be no way I could do this alone, but Armina –"

"I'm sorry, you named your child Armina?" Eren said, trying his best to hold back a laugh he really wanted to let out. Because what kind of name is Armina? It's literally Armin's name with an 'a' at the end and lacks any creativity to it, let alone a nice ring.

Armin pouted, slightly offended, because what's so wrong with the name Armina? It's based on his name, a very nice name handpicked by his lovely parents who loved him so. And from that he gave this new ray of life his handpicked name with a little bow on top to show his love to the little child. It's probably named better than whatever Eren named his child. It's probably something like 'Titan-Obligatoron-5000' and Mikasa probably allowed it because she would never say no to Eren, grasping straws just to justify it.

"For your information, the baby's name is actually TitanFucker325."

"Tifu for short," Mikasa cradled the baby in her arms. Armin shook his head; he would teach his little Armina that no man is worth your undivided devotion.

/

Shonnie was positioned in all fours on the ground, Connie and Sasha crouching on each side.

"Imagine being in control of shaping a human's life."

"Whatever we do for the next week will change Shonnie's life forever, never to recover from such experience for their whole life."

"With the power invested in us, we can mold Shonnie to anything – think of the possibilities."

"Oh I'm thinking all right."

"What secrets do you hold you tiny blubbering baby, what secrets do you hold?" The baby stilled between the Sasha and Connie, the two at awe with the baby. The stillness didn't last as a rumbleing from Shonnie's stomach vibrated the whole thing. Connie and Sasha leaned forward, precariously staring at it, trying to learn it's inner most thoughts. In mere seconds, the child was screeching, it's cries alarming the two.

"I think he's hungry?" Sasha said, as she picked up Shonnie, holding the baby an arm length away to protect her ear drums.

Taking him from her, Connie said, "Quickly Sasha, we need to feed him."

"Well okay, I mean if you say so," Sasha flustered, undoing the buttons to her blouse, "but I'm not sure if I'll be able to –"

"No not like that!" Connie said, his head whipped the other way, "actually maybe I should feed him."

She started to rebutton her shirt, "Sure but I'm pretty sure that it doesn't work that way. Do you want me to hold the baby while you take off your shirt?"

Taking Shonnie from his hands, Connie fumbled while looking for something in their baby bag, Connie pulled out a nursing bottle filled halfway with what seemed like cloudy water. "Here," he handed it to Sasha, "I remembered seeing Armin using this."

Taking the bottle, Sasha carefully examined it, slowly rotating it in her hand, eyes widening. Looking down at the baby and then back to the bottle, Sasha swiftly inserted the rubber nibble into Shonnie's mouth, it's cries calming as he drank.

"You're so good at this Connie," Shasha whispered, as Shonnie's mechanical eyes started to flutter.

"I'm only as good as my partner," he nudged Sasha with his elbow. The baby's lids slowly fluttered, closing once the bottle was finished. It was quiet and then the horror that was fell on Sasha's face was enough for Connie to know what their next parental duty was.

"Okay but hear me out," Sasha said, "if we both open Shonnie's diaper at the same time to take a peek, it wouldn't be wrong per say. Besides we're their parents we have to change their diapers."

"You just are filled with great ideas aren't you?"

"I learn from the best." And honestly it was sweet if not concerning the way the two shared half a braincell and still don't use it. Carefully lying Shonnie down on the floor, on the count of three the two carefully opened the diaper and with one quick glance, Sasha wiped her head back yelling "I'm not looking, I'm not looking!" as Connie tried his best to change the poor child's diaper with the luck of a three-leaf clover.

Sasha looked through their kit and found their manual. Flipping to – with a quick stop on the history of cribs – diaper changing, she read out loud the steps needed to properly fold the cloth diaper. And just like origami, there was one too many steps to be justified.

"Uh, do you wanna do a kite fold? Or like a newspaper?"

"Is there an anteater fold? I think it would really be able to pull that one off."

"Wait let me check – yeah it's right here."

"You're going to be the best dress motherfucker in the play pen."

Which would be true for the most part except for two things: Neither Connie nor Sasha can fold properly, and more importantly, Krista just bought the cutest dress and shoe set for their lovely child. Krista had never taken care of a child before, but she does contently try to discipline Ymir so she had that going for her. Ymir never had taken care of a child either – she would rather die thank you very much, but Krista was cute like babies are supposed to be so that had to count for something.

Didn't matter because wearing that new outfit Krista bought, Jaselle Ymir Lenz was the most beautiful mechanical baby doll the scouts would ever seen. Krista couldn't help herself and added a cute little hair bow, but because of its mostly bald head, the bow seemed to have problems staying on. Nothing tape couldn't solve – which it did.

Tape aside, Jaselle was still absolutely adorable. At least to Krista, if Ymir was honest she still thought the baby was ugly, but Ymir thought all blubbering masses of adipose tissue were ugly. Except Krista, she was probably an exception. Krista was always an exception, like the only person that could be hotter than Ymir herself was probably Krista, if Krista went that route.

Mikasa could also be competition, but then again with her short hair she's more handsome if anything. Any shorter and not going to lie, Mikasa would've looked like a boy, and that's a big no for Ymir. Men in generally were a no for her. But if Krista was a boy, then maybe she could vibe with that. But the closest visually she had for male Krista was Armin, and after watching him singing his child a lullaby as she fell asleep like the pussy he was – and not in the good way – maybe Krista wouldn't be an exception for that.

"Isn't she just adorable," Krista cooed, tickling Jaselle with one finger, the baby squeaking in response.

"Nauseating."

"Right? How did we get so lucky?"

"No I mean I'm literally going to throw up because of that mangey hairless dog."

Krista hit Ymir's arm, offended, "How could you say that about our daughter! She looks so much like you, look!"

And looking at that grubby body with a head way to big for it, drool seeping through her gummy smile, Ymir knew in that moment that Krista hated her because who in God's name would think that was a compliment?

/

The mess hall was livelier the past two days since the newest assignment, the increasing chatter amongst themselves being mostly about boasting how amazing their child. Surprisingly, it wasn't as loud as two weeks ago though, when Connie dared Sasha to stuff as many loaves of bread in her mouth without chewing. The record was six and it cost her cleaning the stables but that was okay with her because jokes on them since the seeds they feed the horses taste really good? Why are they wasting such delicacies on them? But then again, horses deserve it for all the work they do for them.

Jean, sitting on the table beside Eren, couldn't help but to hear Eren talk about how Tifu almost spoke their first word, dada. Which was a lie, because the dolls could not speak but only squeak and cry, but everyone else was making up lies so no harm no foul, right?

"I named my little girl Mikasa," Jean said, "I would bring her here but she's fast asleep."

"And her mother allowed it?"

"Its mother doesn't care what it's called," Annie said, setting down her tray of food beside Jean, "as long as we pass this assignment it could be named something idiotic like TitanFucker326 and I wouldn't mind."

And though Mikasa was soullessly quiet as she is, Eren knew she was judging his choice of naming. Leaning to the side, he whispered, "Good thing ours is called TitanFucker325," because he had to make sure she didn't think he made the wrong decision.

"Good thing," Mikasa said, and it would be sarcastically if she had the physical ability to do so.

"Is that tension I smell between the two of you?"

"No," they said in union, but more importantly with tension.

Raising his eyebrow, two things did not look right to Jean. One of them being the way Mikasa was clearly vibrating, a bad omen emitting from her, shaking as a way to heighten her silence. Which meant there was something clearly bothering her about Eren but refusing to acknowledge that Eren could either do something wrong or something that bothered her. Jean, having such a keen eye for these details - which by the way Marco also agrees on - could tell that not everything was rosy in the Yeager-Ackerman household.

And because he cared deeply for Mikasa's wellbeing and not so much for Eren's, he needed to know what exactly was going on behind the scenes. It obviously had to with the whole parenthood thing – as expected, Eren is half the father he is, but to have Mikasa slightly on edge with Eren meant that there had to be something bigger going on.

And he was right in a sense because parenthood is not for the weak. Mikasa applauded all mothers for what they had to put up with. Even with a man like Eren, who despite his endearing flaws that make him otherwise the perfect guy in the world, raising a baby was terrible. She didn't know why her mom wanted a second one after having her, because Mikasa was really thinking of postponing having a child with Eren until maybe thirty, possibly thirty-two, to the contrary twenty seven she was originally planning.

Eren, for lack of better words, was very hands-on type of parent in the sense that his hands were only on the child if Mikasa made him hold Tifu. And she could see why he was like that, it wasn't like Mr. Yeager was the ideal father, but he did have the responsibility to heal those he can. Besides, he's only fifteen so Mikasa couldn't blame him for not changing Tifu once in a while or making her calm the doll down when it's crying in the middle of the night, or when he left the baby a bit too close to the fireplace giving it an unpleasant rash near the rear. However, Eren did once took Tifu out to play with little Armina, though he did leave the baby on a tree branch as he tried to race it with an ODM gear. Of course Armin thought that was reckless activity to babies, and of course Eren used Armin's ODM gear for Tifu.

Point being, Mikasa just thought Eren could put a tad more effort into being a father because this is a group project but then again Eren is doing all he can to become the best scout out there and is it really his fault he's generally not that great as a father?

Eren thought he was doing a pretty damn good job though, especially the fact that he was going to attend a weekly playdate with Armin, Reiner, and Berthold. And possibly Connie, he wasn't sure if he was coming because he zipped past Connie before he could tell him because he wasn't going to allow a baby to beat him in a race.

"You do know this assignment is only for a week so calling it a 'weekly' get-together is kinda," Eren motioned his hand in a 'eh' gesture.

"Are you coming or not?" Armin said, picking up Armina from the mini yellow highchair he made for her, which matched the accent on Armina's onesie.

"I mean I guess, why not?"

Armin's absence was not missed by Jean, which is another proof to his keen eye for detail because Armin is easy to miss even when he was present. "Where is the blonde blob anyways?"

With a heavy sigh from both, Mikasa and Eren pointed to the small crowd in the back corner of the mess hall, specifically crowd of girls, cooing how adorable Armina is and how clearly she takes after her father.

"Oh how do you do it Armin?" one of them said, twirling some hair.

Sheepishly, Armin shrugged, "I guess it's all about being perceptive. Babies can't tell you what they're feeling so you got to pick up on the cues and body language."

"Well I think it's very brave of you to raise a child on your own."

"Thank you but it's my child, in theory, so I have the responsibility of taking care of it, single or not."

"What ever happened to Mrs. Alert," one of the girls placed their hand sympathetically on his arm, "if you don't mind."

"A titan attack," a collective gasp was heard, "It took a toll on me, and I wasn't sure how I was supposed to go on after the incident but," Armin looked down at the sleeping child in his arms and let out a soft smile, "Armina needed a strong father to look after her, so I had no choice but to carry on."

Girls flung themselves on Armin, whaling at his misfortune, hoping to be the remedy to his misery. And of course this went well with Jean and the rest, watching from the sidelines and shaking their heads in disapproval as further proof how well this went for them.

"Pathetic."

"They do know the baby is just a bunch of bolts and nuts."

Jean and Eren tutted, they would never create false narratives around their dolls that represent fake babies to make themselves look like a better person because of how great parenthood is going for them. As if measuring how easily parenting comes to someone means something, let alone how better of a person you are.

"Anyways, Mikasa knows her three-times-tables."

"Yeah well Tifu can do a handstand."

"How does that beat mathematics?"

"Because that means it can do three times more than yours."

"Three times zero is still zero dumbass, of course Mikasa would know that."

"Umm jokes on you, Mikasa is bad at math, that's why I used to make Armin do both of our math homework."

/

There are many ways families can function. One way is terribly, such as Eren's and Mikasa, or Jean and Annie, or bless their souls Sasha and Connie. To be fair the really only parent that is excelling is Armin and his fake dead wife, but even then is exploiting your child for sympathy really labeled as 'good parenting', despite how much attention and love you give a child?

For one thing, one doesn't need a philosophy class to know the Ymir and Krista weren't the ideal pair to have a baby – fake or not. And to be fair, it's mostly on Ymir's fault and not on Krista who is actually caring for the baby. And if Eren had the decency to actually try to connect with his baby, Ymir actively avoided it like a plague. It was very easy for her, she just said she was out being the breadwinner and then leave for the whole day. Twice Ymir forgot to actually win the bread from the 'spin the wheel' stand a few blocks away from training, but at least she tried right? Wrong, she didn't but Krista unfortunately forgave her for that. Or at least that's what Krista told herself as she tried putting Jaselle asleep for the third time this night.

She really wanted to give it to Ymir, pretending to sleep while the baby was right beside you took a lot of patience, and not a scrunch appeared on her resting face. For Ymir, the trick was thinking that if the baby was crying that meant it wasn't happy, and in turn its unhappiness meant her happiness because she hated the little runt.

"It's harder than you think," Ymir said, trying up her hair.

"And you think it's easy for me?" Krista said, one arm holding a crying Jaselle the other one stirring a pot.

"I mean how hard is it to take care of some doll?"

Krista huffed, "Hard enough to make it a part of our training." She had a point and Ymir knew it, but just because she had a point doesn't mean that she's right.

"Listen," Ymir patted Krista's head, albeit condescendingly, "I don't think you're built for the manual labour I put in everyday."

Butting Ymir's head with her own, Krista stood her ground, "You just throw the dart at the wheel how hard can it be?"

"You know about the bread wheel?"

"I showed you the bread wheel!"

"That's beside the point, the point is –"

" – the point is that I think you should take care of the child sometimes."

"But I'm the father and what father really is there for their child?" Ymir had a point, Krista had to admit, but just because she had a point doesn't mean she was right.

"Just this once," Krista pouted, "come on' please."

And Ymir should be immune to Krista's pout because she does it all the time, but God damn it those puppy eyes got her every time.

"Fine," Ymir sighed heavily, extending her arms, "give me the ugly ass thing."

Handing it over, Krista said, "We were a baby once too."

"We all have our flaws."

"That's not a flaw," Krista undid her apron, "besides, you have a lot more flaws than just being a baby."

"Yeah, no one should be allowed to be as hot as me but alas I'll carry that sin."

"You sure do," Krista said, grabbing her bag, "I'll be back before dark with the bread, don't forget to make dinner okay? And please don't hold Jaselle like that."

Ymir gave a questioning look, dangling the baby by her leg. Rolling her eyes, Ymir held her in her arms, seeing Krista off. Holding the baby close to her body, Ymir scrutinized it and its grubby fingers, "Ugly ass puggy ass bitch."

Speaking of families, a family is only as great as it's family portrait, which is why Connie and Sasha found themselves in the centre of Wall Rose, at the best painter – or at least the best they can afford with the $10.76 they had collectively, having their own portrait made in front of them. Of course, the whole thing would go smoother if Sasha wasn't eating, occasionally smashing the soft boiled potato into Shonnie's mouth, and if Connie could for one God damn minute stop shaking his leg.

"Aren't you two a little too young to be parents," the painter said, outline the details of crumbs on Sasha's mouth.

"Oh this isn't ours ours. Like its ours but we didn't make it."

"Someone made this baby and gave it to us to raise for a week."

"It's a training assignment for the military."

The painter shook his head, another reason why he should continue evading his taxes.

"But our Shonnie is the light of our lives."

"Shonnie is the best, yesterday he passed his own flatulence."

The painter added the new beads of sweat that formed on Connie's forehead as he said, "Yeah, that was all Shonnie."

"Shonnie has all of our best qualities," which the painter found fitting because the doll itself had no personality at all. "Even the best parts of our names."

"Shonnie, as in Shasha and Connie if I am correct?"

"Actually it's Sasha."

"But is Shonnie."

"No wait he has a point Sasha."

Sasha facepalmed, "Ugh, I'm so dumb. I should've noticed the sh in the name but it just felt so right."

Connie patted her back, "Hey, it's alright, parenthood is all about mistakes."

"Thanks Connie, you're totally right –"

"– Except this one, this parenthood has to be perfect so we can ace the assignment."

"So we can change its name to Sonnie, problem solved."

Connie shook his head vigorously, "No, that won't do. We need to find something new, not just some cop out to fix a silly mistake."

"But you two are literally doing –"

"Not now Mr. Painter, Connie has a point. We need to treat renaming Shonnie like the biggest decision in our life, because it might as well be."

The painter rolled his eyes, but stopped mid way, because if he played his cards right he could actually dupe this two to pay more. Which shouldn't be hard, right?

"Well, I'm done the painting, that would be $75.99 –"

"We have $7.99, keep the change," Sasha threw the money, Connie took the painting, and the three ran to find Shonnie's new name. A truly life changing adventure.

That and a painting now ruined with running wet paint.

/

The weekly play date was everything Eren thought it would be – and not in the good way. The four of them, Eren, Armin, Reiner and Bertholdt, sat in a circle in their chairs as their babies played in the middle. The word 'played' meaning sitting still because they are in fact just inanimate objects and not whatever the scouts are extorting them to be.

And as much as Eren wanted to tell them about Tifu's biggest accomplishment, doing 3 backward flips consecutively, he didn't want to be that person. It was only acceptable to brag about Tifu if someone bragged about their child first according to Mikasa or something like that. She was glad he was taking care of Tifu, that interacting with infants around their age would be good for them. Which is totally why Eren was doing this and not to show off how amazing Tifu is.

"It's really nice that we got together like this," Bert said, "little Mackenzie is really enjoying her time."

"Well I can speak for Armina when I say that she's also have a wonderful time."

"Josie really coming out of his comfort zone."

"I'm just going to assume Tifu is also having a great time." In which he meant that Tifu was clearly showing their dominance with their intimidating stare, something Eren had to admit was from Mikasa's side of the family.

Men being men, do not gossip. That shouldn't need to be said but just in case anyone had any doubts, one now knows. So whatever they were talking about, whether about the newest edition of parental daily, the questionable way Jessica dressed her son the other day, or even the affair Mina's husband was having with Fiona despite the two ladies being best friends, it could not, and would not, be considered as gossip because they were simply conversing. Like reading the daily paper but today's story was about anything and everything they could bring up.

"I heard when the Captain Levi had to do this portion of training, they had to use actual babies instead. He was such a great father that the child grew up to be the man who invented these mechanical babies." Or at least that's what Eren's 101 Facts You Didn't Know About the Survey Corps book in 'the more you know' box.

"Wouldn't the child be like only ten at the most now?"

"That's the testament to his parenting."

"Do you think Mackenzie could ever do something like that?"

"Bert my dear friend," Eren placed his hand on his giraffe friend, "Mackanzie would be lucky to even make it out of this assignment alive."

And as if the stars aligned to fuck with Bert a little more, Mackenzie fell face flat in front of Tifu, all eyes on the babies' next move. With the light chanting of "fight, fight, fight," by Eren, mixed with his heavy breathing from anticipation, Mack was about to get the first lesson in Corps Club.

Which Armin thought was unfair for an infant to learn, almost as hard as being traumatized by a titan attack that killed it's own mother in front of their eyes – oh no. Maybe Armin didn't think his backstory though, or maybe this was better, after all the best lies, or stories in this case because lying is wrong, are best on some truth. And the best way to grow is through looking objectively at yourself and learning what essentially makes you.

Which is why naming a child is so important because it's the start of who you are. For example, the name Sasha at its core is about defending and Connie, that's all about steadfast, constancy. And so the child of those should have a similar ideology intertwined with their existence. So far Sasha and Connie had the names Cloud, Skat, and Champ. And in all honesty they were running out of name ideas that started with either a 'S' or 'C', something they agreed upon before agreeing upon names. At their wits end, they decided drastic times call for drastic measures, which in this situation mean placing all the names they thought of in a hat a picking one to be Shonnie's new name. And yes this was supposed to be about finding the right name the matched him, but you make the name not the other way around or at least that's what they convinced each other after mutually giving up.

They ended up picking Catilyn.

/

"And that's how I ended up joining the scouts," Ymir ended her story, a very enthralling one at that. One that stole your attention with the first few words, sucking you into its world and leaves you breathless and stranded when it ends.

Which could be the case as to why Jaselle was still crying because Ymir too, would shed a few tears after such heart wrenching journey she had taken. Except Jaselle was crying from even before then and the story was supposed to make her notdo that.

"What do you have to cry about," Ymir huffed, having up to here with the nonstop crying and babbling and whatever else the baby did because to be fair she left it in a corner for most of the day as she took a nap. "I should be the one crying! Me! Did you not hear the story I just told you?"

And she did stop crying. And all was good. And in Ymir's arm the baby was held, with its cheek against the drool stain she made on it that morning. And for a second everything was okay.

Except when Jaselle started crying again in like zero point two seconds, in which Ymir threw the thing on the ground out of frustration but mostly in spite. And with a bashed cranium and a left foot dislocated and right arm sliding under the table, Krista was met with an unusual sight.

"I can explain," Ymir said, with no intent of explaining. Because Krista spent like five days with this thing of course she can understand why Jaselle had this coming.

Except Kirsta didn't. "And not once did I have the urge to throw the poor thing on the floor."

"She asked for it!" Krista's raised eyebrow prompted Ymir to defend herself some more, "She wouldn't stop crying, like oh my God shut up already you literally been alive for like a month what do you have to be sad about?"

"Did you feed her?" Krista took a bottle of baby food from the baby bag, "or change her? Or put her asleep?"

"'No' to the first two, because what am I, her maid? But a 'maybe' for the third because I did put her in a corner so it's possible she fell asleep – I know I did."

Picking the doll's detached limb from under the table, Krista gasped, "No one puts the baby in a corner." Placing Jaselle on the table, Krista motioned Ymir to pass her some tape, "Meanwhile, what are you going to do know? The poor thing is dead Ymir."

"It's not that bad," the other arm fell off with Ymir's comment, "first of all, whoever made this thing should really be the one to blame, I mean what breaks this easily?"

"A real life baby Ymir, a baby is just as fragile. And you murdered it. You murdered our child." Krista started to sniffle as she tapped the poor thing together.

"Krista, I know this might not be the most ideal situation," Ymir was met with big blue glossy eyes, "but I know how to fix this."

"How?"

"Simple, we switch our Jaselle with someone else's tonight, and by the time they wake up for evaluation it'll be their problem."

"Ymir! First you killed our child and now you're suggesting we dump it to someone else and steal another child as ours? I – that's – I mean I can't –"

Ymir placed her hand on Krista's delicate shoulder, "I know it sounds bad but trust me we're doing something good."

"Trust you? You killed our child!"

"Let it go, parenting is all about learning from mistakes."

"Parenting is also, I don't know, NOT KILLING OUR CHILD AND KIDNAPPING ANOTHER IN EXCHANGE!"

Ymir positioned her hand on her chest in offense, "Well I don't know whether to feel offended about the way you're reacting or be flattered to see such a side of you."

And how Ymir persuaded (or coerced depending on how you define these two words because to some the difference is but a thin line) Krista into her brilliant but also extremely fucked up plan will be a mystery to not only outsiders but to Krista herself. Because one second she was tapping back the left arm once again and the next she was wearing all black in the middle of the dorm room, a map rolled flat across a table.

The key was finding the right suspect, they had to be susceptible enough for them to not notice their sleeping child robot gone but competent enough to not have killed their own. Meaning Sasha and Connie were out of the question. Besides, Jaselle was a girl so they would have to steal another girl, crossing out Reiner's child. Krista suggested Reiner's friend, Berthold, but Ymir had no idea who he was and she would like to keep things personal. Makes it more fun.

Armin had a girl but there was no way he'd leave her out of his sight in a split second. And sure Ymir could beat the shit out of him while he was asleep right before they steal the child but Krista made her promise no more violent outburst for the next week. Also Armina scares her with her piercing blue eyes and dead mom soul hovering over her. And as much as she enjoys a woman who can kick her ass, Anne's dorm is furthest away from theirs and no one wants to run that much.

Thus Eren and Mikasa were the unlucky lucky couple. And if Mikasa does break Ymir's bones then so be it because Ymir is also a masochist as well as probably mentally deranged. She knew Krista was safe because first of all, no one could harm that cute pout Krista has mastered to get out of any troubles, and second, Mikasa would know that Krista was acting on Ymir's influence, saving her once again. Plus Eren is not only pretty but pretty dumb too, making their job slightly easier.

The plan was simple, Ymir would uphold Krista into the upper right window, where Eren sleeps, where she would switch that child robot with their sorry excuse of one and jump into Ymir's arms in which they would run back home. In theory it was a great plan and surprisingly it was a great plan in practicality. Krista was sure that Mikasa would catch them dead in their tracks or Eren would wake up or the window would get jammed and they couldn't get through or a thousand other possibilities. But luck had it that the window was already wide open, Eren was a deep sleeper, the baby was sleeping alone in its crib, and she was pretty sure Mikasa was having a midnight training session in the other room.

Luck did not have it for Eren and Mikasa, with the latter meeting what seemed like a dismantled robot in the crib where she was sure a healthy Tifu was last night.

"Eren," Mikasa called him over, "how did Tifu look before you went to bed?"

"Like the future Survey Corp top solider Tifu is destined to be."

"Tifu's dead Eren."

"What!?" Eren shot up from his bed, the sleep in his eyes waring off as he tried to focus on the crib in front of him. "Are you sure?"

Lifting up its dislocated leg, Mikasa gave a deadpan 'sure'. Now beside the scene of crime, Eren looked in horror at his failing grade. "How bad do you think this will affect our mark?"

"I think we're long past that part Eren," Mikasa sympathetically patted her friends back.

Furiously shaking his head, Eren refused to accept defeat, "Tifu was perfectly fine last night, even during last night's training –"

"Maybe that's why."

"And what's that suppose to mean."

Mikasa sighed, the same way his mom used to do when she would do all she could to restrain herself and pinched her nose the same way his mom use to when she regretted not getting an abortion. "I know you're trying to do your best, but maybe you weren't the best father to Tifu."

Eren, clearly shocked because who wasn't a better father than him, said, "I'm shocked, who's a better father than me?"

And Mikasa didn't want to break Eren's heart meaning she had to tread lightly, but it's hard to tread lightly when what needs to be said is that Eren's self projection to the child may be the reason why they're left with bolts and pieces. "It's just that though you clearly care about the child you didn't give it the necessary care it needed to survive."

"Sure I did, I took it to playdates, I took Tifu to survival training, I gave Tifu my leftover soup that Sasha may or may not have eaten in the end."

"Yeah but did you ever check up on her when she was –"

"Her?"

"Her, as in Tifu?"

"Tifu's a girl?"

"You didn't know Tifu was a girl? How can you not know your own child's gender?!"

"No one told me, we just kept on calling her Tifu and never really used pronouns?!"

"You would've known when you changed her diapers – you never changed her diapers, did you?"

A beat passed and Mikasa asked the question again. Another beat missed and it followed with a "Armin changed her diaper for you, didn't her?"

Eren pursed his lip giving Mikasa the answer she already knew, "I can't believe you made Armin change Tifu's diaper!"

"He offered to do it! Besides he's much better at it then I am."

"How would you know if you never did it!"

"It's not my fault tha-"

"– I mean I don't want to blame on what examples you had, because I know Clara was an excelle-"

"– If I'm not good at something isn't a good thin-"

"–maybe if your dad spent more time with you then in his basement."

And then in was quiet. Eren's shoulder sunk and eyes averting her, Mikasa apologized profusely. Blinking a few times, Eren finally said, "You know," he stopped to blink back tears that may or may not be overdramatic, "words hurt sometimes."

"I know and I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"All I have to say is that you learn a lot about someone after you have a child with them. I would never," he emphasized the last word, "ever imagine you'd say something like that."

Mikasa rubbed the side of her arm awkwardly unsure where to go from here and neither did Eren. Thankfully Armin walked in and it took him exactly point three seconds to understand the whole situation. Maybe he should've told Eren Tifu's gender, but parenting is serious business and he knew Eren had to take initiative to find out himself.

What Armin did not expect was little Titanfucker325 to be in pieces. "What did you two do to her?" Armin's tears were not overdramatic but in pure dramatic fashion of Armin's.

"We did not truly understand the true value of a life," Mikasa said.

"No shit you didn't. This thing looks like it's been chucked against the wall, every time I look at it a piece of it falls off." And he was right because the three looked at Tifu again and it's eyeball popped out of it's socket.

"Juts like our grade," Eren said, "and our chances of being part of the Corps."

And Armin had a few weaknesses, one of them being kinda scrawny. Like when it comes to arm-to-arm training he found a perfect hiding spot where he could avoid the session because he does not want to get his ass whopped, no siree. But also, he's not the most confident and especially non-confrontational, plus he can get really overwhelmed really easily. But by far his biggest weakness is the gloom faces of his bestest friend in the whole wide world.

With a sigh, Armin was ready to bare it all for the two in front of him, "I guess we can switch babies, if you guys want."

"What? No," Eren shook his head, "we could never. You worked so hard to raise Armina, we couldn't take that away from you."

"Eren's right, this is our mistake, we should be the ones who face the repercussions."

Armin shook his head, "I can't just let you guys flunk this assignment, it's worth forty percent of our mark. I mean maybe you can recover from it but there's no way Eren could pass."

And they knew that. They all knew that if they got a 'fail' on this assignment, by the way a it's pass or fail grading, he would dropped kicked out of the Training Corps. Mikasa could get by with the fact that she's a sheer killing machine and could probably rip open the nape of a titan with her bare hands. Armin, if he would fail, could probably still pass well enough with the fact that he already has like a two-hundred and fifty percent in the course solely passed on what they've covered plus the extra (and extra extra) credit he's done willingly and against Keth's pleading.

So it was with teary eyes in which Armin passed his figuratively flesh and blood to the arms of his best friend in exchange of an old forgotten rag doll. He could get himself out of this, right? He'd just had to make up a story, create a narrative, own this moment on his own terms. Somehow add this tragedy and intertwine it with his already intricate sob story.

Mikasa gazed at Armina and then at Armin, a soft glow emitting from the blonde despite his impending downfall, "We raised our first child so well," she said to Eren.

"Yeah what happened?"

/

And so they were lined up once again, the fruits of their labour laying on the surface before them. And Keith, who stood on the podium in front of them all, briefly gazed through the lines. Some did better than others, he was sure Sasha and Connie would mess up somehow, some did worse, but for the most part he thinks that they did alright, like not good but he'd pass them after a disappointed sigh implying they could've done better. They probably couldn't.

And to be fair no one really knows how to raise a child. To raise a child, to mold the essence of someone, had no one clear answer, and rarely did anyone had the foggiest idea as to how to do so. But these aren't just anyone, these, the young girls and boys before him, were the future of this nation.

And that scared him a shit ton more than any titans.

"Last week," his began, "you were assigned to raise a child yourself, to create the very thing you are training to protect. And did you do that?" That was a rhetorical question really because the answer was 98.99% was a no, but some people will surprise you with the gall to actually say yes. He knows he did.

"You must be thinking, worrying about how I will evaluate your efforts, but that's another mistake in the many you have made throughout this venture. For it not I who will be evaluating you, but from the member of our very own military who received the highest mark in history in the portion of training."

And this is where Eren's palms started to sweat because he knew who they were talking about. Of course he knew who they were talking about because it was in 101 Facts You Didn't Know About the Survey Corps book in 'the more you know' box. And boy, the more you do more because he knew exactly who was walking up to the podium despite Reiner's height blocking his view of an already short person.

Levi, Humanity's Strongest, was here to evaluate them on their (well in Eren and Mikasa's case, Armin's) hard work. And because of that fun fact, he knew how harsh of a critic, and rightfully so because he's the Levi, he is. Which meant Armin's more screwed than they had anticipated and that pit in Eren's gut has dropped straight to his stomach.

"And here to join us is the very boy who molded those dolls right in front of you, please show your respects to Stronghold Stevenson."

And true to his name, true in an ironic sense or in other words not at all to what the name suggest, a lanky or whatever is considered lanky for an eleven year old boy, made with noodle arms and legs made their way to where the two adults were. In his noodle arms he held one of his robots, cradling like his foster father did a few years back.

"Daddy!" Stronghold piqued.

"Still uncomfortable with you calling me that."

"Sorry," he mumbled, hold a baby doll close to him. "Do you wanna see what I made?"

Crouching down to his height – so like a slight bend in the knees, maybe a 25 degree bend, 35 at most – he gestured to show him. Holding the doll in his hand, he complimented the built, giving it a squeeze and commenting if he could've chosen anything more annoying to sound like.

And as sweet as he was sour, Levi started to walk through the aisle of students practically disassembling them and their child with just one glance. He'd write something, maybe a word, probably not a nice one, and leave. If you were especially unlucky he would actually ask you something, in which nothing you could ever say could ever be the right answer. Bert was pushed to tears, but that didn't necessarily need much nudging in the first place. All Levi really did was ask how he'd spell his name and it was over for the young boy. Jean and Anne had it easy and if Eren was as good as a pen movement reader as he was a lip reader, Jean might have gotten a check mark?

Making his way to the next row Levi mumbled something along the lines of one too many living bodies in one piece for him to be used to.

So when his and Mikasa's turn came he knew Mikasa had to do the talking. As much as he wanted to speak to the Captain Levi, the lump in his throat dried his mouth completely.

"This is Tifu, registered as TitanFucker325." And if Levi was being honest, he liked the name. Original, that's for sure.

"What the other 324 were taken?"

"No sir! I just thought 325 rolled off the tongue sir!" Apparently Eren could speak, he just shouldn't.

Ignoring Eren, something that will soon be something of a habit in the future, he picked up Tifu and examined her. Staring down the child and it's big, fake eyes, he placed it down and scribbled down his thoughts.

Finally standing in front of Armin, the poor boy was shaking in his boots, the fear in his eyes apparent.

"Now this," he pointed at the demolished baby in it's whole - tapped limbs, bashed head and all, "this is what I'm used to. What happened to this fucker, a titan attacked it?"

"Yes?"

"Classic case, there's always one of them in the group." A scribble in his notes, "got any shit excuse of an explanation?"

"Well," and this is where Armin had to sort through the thousand thoughts running through his mind to find something competent, something that made sense, something to save him. "Truth be told, there is something I need to confess." Except nothing about this confession was true except for the part where it's an excuse.

"It's completely my fault," he started planting his seed, "when the titan attack happened I lost both Armina and her mother, but somewhere along the line I was able to trick myself into thinking, into believing, that Armina was still with me. Because when I hold her in my arms I can still feel the warmth of her body, so that has to mean something? But as it stands, I can no longer fool myself because the truth is, and always was, that Armina is long gone." And with a single tear falling from his right eye he sealed the deal with a "So fail me like I failed my family."

Levi's eyes glossed over the blonde kid and his sad excuse of a training assignment. He could fail him, he should fail him, but to be frank he didn't want to. So he didn't, and thus moved on. And it was a relief to both Armin, who was trembling in his boots this whole time, and Eren who was also trembling.

Mikasa would be trembling as well if her attention wasn't on Krista's and Ymir's child, Jaselle was it, having a striking resemblance to their Tifu. Which really is much to say because they all look the same, created from the same mold and bolts, but still the twinkle in its clay eyes was the one's she nursed for a whole week. And also the 'rash' on its bum looked an awful like the one burn Eren gave it. It was obvious what went down, Ymir messed up and convince Krista in partaking in her scheme of stealing their child. And she should retaliate, make sure they learn their lesson, but really what good what would do them all? Krista would feel worse than she already was, if you considered her profuse sweating as a reference, and Ymir would do it again just because she was told she shouldn't. So it came down to whether or not Armin passed.

And he did. They all did. Which was surprising to Keith because he could've sworn that Levi was the type to not be swayed with sob stories like Armin (he's not) and he would have an inexplicable dislike for Sasha and Connie (he doesn't though he might if he gets to know them better). Stronghold ended their training with a speech on how happy he was that his inventions were being used for the grater good and how "Everything I learned was from Levi so I hope you guys can look up to him like I do." Which was sweet but also he's almost Levi's height so there wasn't much to look up to.

They all disposed of their children/robot/dolls/whatever they projected them as in a cart so that Stronghold could use them for further testing. And in all honesty it was refreshing to finally be free but also slightly lonely to completely give them up. Like being nostalgic for a time you weren't even alive during.

"Well all's well that end well," Connie stretched his arms as they made their ways back to their dorms.

Sasha shrugged, "I'm kinda gonna miss Catilyn, he was a good boy."

"So smart and surprisingly strong for his age."

"Well my Mikasa was able to form full sentences at the end of the week," Jean said, "truly one of a kind."

"And Tifu has everything needed to follow the footsteps of his father."

"I am so sorry for what happened to Armina by the way," Reiner placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, "she truly was a gem. It's always the good ones who suffer." Bertholdt nodded in agreement.

"She's in a better place," Armin said, wiping a tear before it fell.

"Okay but we all do know that these were just toys with no feelings or personalities, right?" Annie looked at the group behind her, "because they're just dolls and all this stuff you guys are talking about is just projection. None of them were real, none of them could talk or have some arbitrary trait that they could've inherited from you, or anything because they way you all are taking about them is concerning."

"Anne, they're real because we wish them to be," Reiner placed the hand that was on Armin onto Anne's shoulder. Shrugging it off, she mumbled "I don't even know why I try to talk to you people."

And though they all knew this was the end, the crawling feeling of something missing lingered, like a void they didn't fill, something that needs some explanation. Was it that truly besides Mikasa, Ymir, and Krista that no one really knew what happened to Tifu/Armina/honestly who knows at this point? That something that sent them in an adrenaline trajectory is now slowly dwindling down.

But sometimes closure isn't needed, just wanted. Sometimes things just ending is what we get.

Besides, they all passed and learned, to some extent, the value of human life. Except of course Ymir, who in being her wholly self, regrets nothing because she knew that everything would work out on its own or she would've done it. Which way this one turned out is up to interpretation.

"Okay but how did you guys figure the gender of your child because that was a huge obstacle for us?"