Chapter 1
Estel
Estel leaned over to see how Legolas was doing. "Why are you putting your father with Glorfindel? They'll kill each other!"
"My father likes Glorfindel, Estel."
"Yes, until he starts making out with Erestor, then Thranduil throws a fit, and Glorfindel stands up to defend Erestor's honor… you see where I'm going with this?"
"You have a good point," Legolas admitted. "Perhaps I'd better put him here?"
"Really, Estel, we're planning your coming of age party, not your betrothal. What does it matter where everyone sits?"
Despite his words, Elladan was poring over a sheath of notes on the different guests, marking in red the ones that couldn't sit together. Elrohir was working on a similar list, marking in green those guests he thought would be a good match to sit at the same table.
"Because I don't want my party to involve bloodshed."
"Where's the fun without a little bloodshed?" Elladan grinned at his youngest brother.
"No bloodshed!" Estel said firmly.
Legolas sighed and rolled over so that his head was resting on Estel's back. Estel stayed where he was, lying on his stomach on the floor as he pored over the menu options. He smiled at the familiar, comforting weight of his best friend in the world. Though he was coming of age, he knew nothing would change between him and Legolas.
That thought was one of both joy and distress. Estel valued Legolas' friendship more than he could ever express, but somewhere along the line, he'd fallen in love with his best friend.
Of course, he knew that Legolas would never see him that way. Despite the fact that he was soon to be an adult by human estimation, he was still an infant in comparison with Legolas' many years. He would have to be content with the elf's friendship. Estel knew he was lucky to have a friend such as Legolas, and he tried to keep that in mind when his thoughts strayed to fantasies of romance.
"Estel? Calling Estel. Is there anyone alive in there?" Elrohir rapped his knuckles sharply on the top of Estel's head.
"Ow! Get away, El. Ada will murder you if I have a concussion on my birthday."
"Serves you right for daydreaming while the rest of us slave away here." Elrohir shot a filthy look at Legolas, who was now napping, his breathing light and even, and his head still resting on Estel's back.
Estel got returned to his work, making sure not to move too much so as not to disturb Legolas. He finally decided on all of the meal courses and handed the paper over to Elrohir. "Give this to Ada, El?"
"You have legs, lazy human."
"In case you hadn't noticed, Legolas is currently using me as a pillow."
"So wake him up. A little less sleep won't kill him."
Estel shook his head. "He needs the rest. He hasn't been sleeping well recently."
The twins exchanged a significant look. They all knew that things at Greenwood weren't as they should be. Legolas and his people had been fighting back the evil there for too long, and the strain was showing on the prince. He often had nightmares, though he would never speak of them.
"He'll be fine, Estel. Just give him a few days." Elrohir got to his feet with Estel's catering list in his hand.
"A few days? I hardly think the evil will be driven out of Greenwood in a few days."
"Trust me, Estel, everything will be fine. Legolas is well." Elladan exchanged another look with Elrohir, one that Estel didn't understand.
"Do you two know something I don't?"
"No," the twins said together.
"You do! What is it?"
"Nothing," the said at the same time. Estel always knew something was up when the spoke in unison like that.
"Don't you keep this from me! Legolas is too stubborn to go to anyone for help; you know that. If you know something, you have to tell me. He's my best friend. I only want what's best for him."
Elladan sighed. "Estel, we can't. You would never divulge anything you knew a friend wanted to be kept secret. We can do no less. Legolas is our friend, too, you know."
Estel's frustration drained away. Of course, if the twins knew something that Legolas didn't want shared, they couldn't tell him. He would do no less. It just hurt that Legolas had something he felt he couldn't tell Estel. Estel told him everything… apart from the most important thing, of course.
But he couldn't tell Legolas that, not if he wanted to keep their friendship. If he confessed his love, he was sure that Legolas would feel it unfair to continue their friendship, and Estel would do anything not to lose what they had, even if it wasn't everything he wanted. He would love Legolas quietly and be content with what the prince could give him.
"Did he tell you something?"
"Some things don't need to be said. We're more observant than you give us credit for, you know." Elladan crossed out another name on his list.
So, Legolas hadn't told them anything. He was keeping his problems to himself, as he always did. The twins must have guessed something. Estel wondered what they had figured out. He was usually the understood Legolas the best. He sometimes felt like he could see the elf's soul through his eyes.
Elrohir left with the list for Elrond and Elladan kept working on his own list. Estel stared off into the distance, lost in thought. Something had been bothering Legolas recently, and if it wasn't the situation at his home, it was something else. Estel was determined to find out what it was.
Elladan finished with his list and went to give it to Elrond, leaving Estel and Legolas alone. Estel waited patiently for Legolas to wake. When the prince finally did, Estel jostled him slightly. "Up with you, lazy elf."
Legolas yawned and sat up. "What time is it?"
"Almost time for dinner."
"I'm sorry, Estel. I promised to help you with the planning for your party, and I fell asleep. I only meant to rest for a few moments."
"Do not worry over it, mellon nin. Whatever we didn't manage to finish up with arranging today, Erestor will have sorted by tomorrow. Remember, he was reluctant to allow me a hand in planning my own party to begin with."
"Still, I should have made more effort to stay awake.'
"It's not that which I'm unhappy about. I'm worried about you, Legolas. You're not sleeping well. Is it the nightmares?"
Legolas shrugged. He was as uncommunicative as ever when it came to talking about his troubles.
"You should speak to Ada. Maybe he can give you something to help with the dreams."
"Do not worry about me, Estel. I am fine."
"You're a horrible liar, mellon nin."
"And you're a horrible pest, smelly human."
Estel reluctantly allowed Legolas to change the subject. "Not as smelly as you'll be after the twins pull their next prank on you. They weren't at all happy that you dozed off and left them with all the work. They mentioned that it was about time to prank you again."
Legolas' eyes widened in alarm, and Estel burst out laughing.
"Not funny, Estel," Legolas muttered. "I wouldn't put it past them to do something just like that. They don't need provocation, merely targets. What good is it being a prince if two silly Noldor can cover your favorite tunic in horse dung with no qualms whatsoever?"
"No good at all when it comes to the twins."
Despite his words, Estel knew that Legolas appreciated the twins' way with him. They were some of the few who weren't intimidated by his title. They treated him like a person rather than like royalty. His brothers could be exasperating at times, but Estel loved them fiercely, and he knew Legolas felt the same.
Legolas was like family here in Imladris. He came here often to get away from the depressing situation in Greenwood. No one else knew that Estel longed to do things with Legolas that were certainly not acceptable to do with family.
He could confide in his father or brothers, of course, but he didn't want to see their expressions of pity, or hear their consoling words. They would simply confirm what he already knew – that Legolas could never see him in that way.
Elrond would offer him comfort, and the twins would offer him distraction. He had been on the brink of telling them multiple times, but he always held back. Estel kept his love for Legolas safe in his heart. He probably would do so until the day he died.
The rest of the day was spent working on last minute party plans. The twins caused chaos by trying to smuggle a nest of bees into the dining hall. Unfortunately – or fortunately – the sedative they'd given the bees wore off before they had intended. No doubt, they had wanted the bees to cause their chaos in the middle of Estel's party, but instead, it cleared the dining hall for an hour before the bees could be chased out.
Estel and Legolas were hiding out in the prince's chambers, waiting for the unusually aggressive bees to be taken outside of Imladris. Estel wouldn't have put it past his brothers to have bred them specially for the perfect prank at his coming of age party.
The door suddenly burst open, and the twins rushed in, looking frazzled.
Estel frowned at them, but didn't say anything.
"Estel, quick, hide us!" Elladan glanced over his shoulder while Elrohir bolted the door.
"Since when did you take to hiding from your problems?"
"Since one of our bees stung Erestor." Elrohir was paler than usual, and double checked the bolt.
Estel and Legolas both burst out laughing. "So, Glorfindel is out for your blood?" Estel guessed between chuckles.
"What a brilliant observation, Estel," Elladan snapped. "Now hide us before he has our heads."
"Not a chance. You got yourselves into this mess." Estel raised his voice. "Glorfindel, they're in here!"
The twins bolted.
Estel flopped back onto the bed, resting his head on Legolas' stomach, giggling.
"Serves them right," Legolas murmured, still smiling.
"That it does."
Once the bees were gone, Estel and Legolas went back to supervising the decorations in the hall. Erestor's right cheek was swollen, and Glorfindel was storming around with his sword drawn.
By the end of the day, Estel was exhausted, but excited. His birthday was the very next day. He was sure he wouldn't be able to sleep, but the long day had his eyelids drooping mere moments after he got into bed. He was asleep in minutes.
Estel was woken in the middle of the night by a soft knock on his door. "Come in," he called. He knew who it was.
Legolas slunk in, his eyes down and his expression guilty.
"Another nightmare?"
Legolas nodded. "I'm sorry to disturb you, Estel."
"Nonsense." Estel pulled back the covers. "Come in."
Legolas eagerly joined him in bed and burrowed his head into Estel's side. Estel wrapped his arms around his friend, wishing more than anything that he could will Legolas' nightmares away.
His traitorous cock started rising in response to Legolas' proximity. The prince was wearing nothing but his night gown, which did little to hide his fine form beneath.
Not now, Estel told himself harshly. Legolas was distressed. He couldn't believe his body would betray him like this, but it was far from unusual. Almost every time he was close to Legolas, he responded, no matter how much time they spent together.
Sometimes, Estel felt like he spent more time brainstorming how to hide inconvenient erections than focusing on his studies with Elrond.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No." Legolas' answer was always the same, but Estel had to ask.
He started rubbing Legolas' back. Legolas sighed and snuggled himself closer.
It was in these quiet moments that Estel's thoughts became louder. He imagined moving his head just a little and pressing a kiss to Legolas' lips. They were so close together, it would hardly take any movement at all.
He wondered how Legolas would react if he were to confess his love now. The temptation was always there. Estel fought it back viciously. Legolas would never want him in that way, and he would only ruin their friendship by trying for something he'd never have.
"Estel? What is wrong?"
"I should be asking you that, mellon nin. Saes, tell me what is the matter."
"I have already told you. My home is overrun by darkness –"
"I know that. I mean, what else is there? I can tell it's more than that."
"I am just… nervous about the party tomorrow."
Estel snorted. "Legolas, you must have been to a thousand different functions of Thranduil's, all of them more intimidating than my coming of age party. Please don't insult my intelligence."
He expected a quick response, something that would lead them into their usual banter, but Legolas was quiet. Maybe he really was nervous about the party… but why? Estel couldn't think of a single reason for him to be. Unless…
"Are you truly worried about how your father will react to Glorfindel and Erestor?"
"You know that he doesn't approve of love between males, Estel. It doesn't help that Glorfindel and Erestor can't be trusted to keep their hands off each other for more than a couple of minutes."
If he had his way, Estel wouldn't keep his hands off Legolas for more than a couple of minutes, but he had to be content with their nighttime cuddles, which had become more and more frequent as time went on. Estel was worried that Legolas' nightmares were getting worse, but he couldn't deny that they had their advantages. He'd take more time being close to Legolas for any reason.
"He wouldn't dare cause a scene in Imladris. Ada would have his head."
"Lord Elrond knows better than to start a war with Greenwood."
"Then we have nothing to worry about, do we?"
Legolas smiled faintly. "I guess not."
Estel could tell when Legolas drifted off, even though his eyes were open. He spent so much time staring at Legolas, he'd learned to read the prince's smallest movements and expressions.
Estel wanted to stay awake, to watch Legolas sleep. He was so peaceful when he slept, looking much younger than he did when he was awake. He was truly beautiful. Estel knew he wouldn't be able to stay awake for long, though. He was so content and relaxed with Legolas in his arms that he already felt his mind pulling him toward sleep.
Nothing was better than waking with Legolas resting his head on Estel's chest, Estel's arms wrapped around the elf. Estel was smiling as he fell asleep.