This is my first story about Motherland: Fort Salem. It's a very personal one, dedicated to a family member I lost - every tear still feels too real.
The title is inspired by Nightwish's song "All The Works Of Nature Which Adorn The World - Quiet As The Snow". If you feel inclined, you should put on the song while reading - it is a real beauty.
I thank from the bottom of my heart my beta readers Maddz2 and AFY2018 for their great help with this.
Feedback and constructive criticism are very welcome.
Quiet as the Snow.
Fort Salem had never been so chaotic yet so eerily quiet at the same time. Soldiers tore past the base; the wounded were brought to the makeshift infirmary while the shroud-covered bodies – dead and cold – were accounted for. Helicopters flew in and out constantly. Orders were barked and instructions shouted over the distant sobs of soldiers.
Tally noticed none of this. She was miserably unaware of all the chaos around her. All she heard was her own blood rushing in her ears. Standing transfixed a few steps away from the entrance to the necro labs, a tear rolled down her cheek and she stared blankly into nothingness.
Sarah Alder was dead.
The ex-General had fought valiantly for the army in the Camarilla attack and despite all of her experience, all of her skill and all of her power, she was killed. Her biddies had fallen victim to the witch plague. Without the support of the seven elderly women, her life was drained from her being almost instantaneously. But somehow, by some miracle – perhaps a gift from the Goddess herself? – the General had clung to life. When she arrived, along with Raelle and Abigail, Alder was lying on a cot in front of the Mother. Her once fierce face, and her whole body for that matter now seemed to have been transformed to resemble tree bark.
The fallen General could barely move her lips, but her eyes were still clear and full of meaning. Anacostia and Izadora were already at her side when the Bellweather Unit arrived. The three were startled by the sight and cautiously approached the petrified figure on the cot. Through the stifled sobs, Anacostia asked the Unit to bid the General farewell.
Abigail spoke first: "I spent my whole life looking up to you. You showed me what it meant to be a leader. To follow one's will for better and for worse. And don't worry ... we're going to be just as hard on my mom." Sarah nodded, but that was all Abigail could say before feeling overwhelmed.
Raelle spoke to her next, "You pushed me to look inside myself to dare to face my darkness. If you hadn't, I wouldn't have learned to use the Witchbomb, and last night would have gone very differently. So, thank you." She, too, struggled to find the words to express her gratitude and fell silent, backing away to allow her sister her turn.
Tally swallowed, a thousand thoughts raced through her head and none seemed pertinent. She was searching for the right words to say goodbye to a woman whose death she had never expected and for whom she had always harboured deep feelings. She then remembered Alder's speech at the beginning of her time at War College. She gathered all her courage, swallowed again and spoke softly, "You told me to follow the truth, no matter where it led." Gently, she stroked Alder's temple. The bark-like skin felt cool to her fingers. The General looked up at her wearily. "But I don't think either of us imagined it would lead us here," Tally paused taking a faltering breath. Behind her eyes, tears were prickling, threatening to spill over at any moment. "I may never understand some of the choices you made. But I am beginning to understand the burden of those choices placed on you, and I don't know how you carried it for all these years," Ice blue eyes stared directly into hers and she was caught in Alder's gaze. Her voice shook as she continued, "But I want you to know that you can set it down now. We will carry it from here," She saw relief flash through those tired eyes. Had there been any sound in the room of grief-stricken soldiers, Tally would have missed it when Sarah spoke ever so softly, her voice like a breath of air, "Thank you."
Tally felt the bond between herself and Alder resonate one last time. Even though Izadora had given her something to sever their bond, once she discovered the truth about Liberia and Nice Batan, nothing could break their bond. From time to time, she could still sense Alder's emotions. When she was very upset, when she was rather amused or curious. Tally had never spoken to the General about it and for a moment she felt remorse at that fact as she looked down into Alder's tired face. Perhaps they could have talked it out one last time? Because even if she could not understand all the decisions, Sarah Alder meant so much to her. If they had been able to see past their superficial disagreement and acknowledge the bond between them maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Through the last, thin threads of magic that connected them, she felt that Alder was tired – exhausted from a century-long fight against all the odds of time. The General was grateful to see her daughters once again. She felt both shame and relief at Tally's words. And above all, she felt the weight of Sarah's fear. She was scared, more than she had been in a very long time.
Tally swallowed hard as she, along with the others, lifted the General and handed her over to the mycelium. Thin, luminous threads stretched around her callused body and seemed to absorb it. Nothing was left behind, and the wall returned to its usual smooth, translucent appearance. Tally stared at the place where the body had disappeared. She felt a thousand emotions and none at all, all at once. She felt empty, forlorn, helpless and at a loss. What would happen now? What would happen to Fort Salem? The army? ... To her?
She hardly noticed her sisters escorting her out. She could not remember how she walked with heavy steps up the stairs to the exit. How Abigail hugged her and left to look for her mother - the new General - and Adil.
Far away she could hear Raelle talking to her, but she did not understand the words. The brightness of the world around her seemed to be fading. Everything lost its colour, a grey veil seemed to lie over the buildings and the trees like a shroud.
"... lly?"
Where had the sun disappeared to? The golden light that Tally had always loved about Fort Salem?
The buildings were badly ravaged from the attack of the Camarilla, who had fought their way into the heart of the compound. The cracks in the facades looked like a shattered world. The soldiers, moving grim-faced in a hurry, spoke little. The voices of the officers who gave the orders to collect and isolate the dead were strained and had lost their edge. Did Salem feel that it had lost its greatest warrior? Was it shaking to the bone as much as Tally, who seemed to be so very much out of breath?
"Tally!"
As if snapped out of a nightmarish daydream, the redhead looked at her sister with wide brown eyes. She had completely forgotten that Raelle was with her.
"Tally, are you alright?" the latter asked anxiously. The colour had drained from her friend's face and she was moving mechanically, as if she were no longer the master of her body.
Tally swallowed. Her mouth was suddenly dry when she wanted to answer. She cleared her throat, but it didn't seem to change the constricted feeling in her chest. Even if she had been able to produce words, she didn't know what to say. Her mind seemed to have completely shut down and, in her mind, she only saw the General's tired blue eyes. Those once bright blue eyes behind which she would swear she briefly saw something resembling seen a deep affection – and a longing for forgiveness?
" - don't know," she croaked silently.
"I know how much Alder meant to you," Raelle began softly, but was interrupted by loud shouting. A lieutenant she didn't know seemed to need a Fixer. "Tally, there's someone hurt - needs my help - alone alright?" the blonde spoke hastily. She looked at her friend with concern, but Tally only nodded mutely. With a last, worried look, she left.
Craven didn't notice any more.
Her stare slid over the hall where Alder had given her speech to the new recruits.
Tally remembered sitting on the edge of her seat then, full of tension and anticipation, listening with admiration to every word the General said. Alder had spoken of history, of the creation of Fort Salem, and of the greatness and courage of enlisting for military service. But she had also spoken of dark days that lay ahead, full of danger and possible wars. How wrong she was then to suspect that the Spree would be their greatest enemy! In the meantime, a much older, more merciless adversary had emerged and was causing fear and terror even among the bravest soldiers - the Camarilla.
Had Alder been able to foresee then what was in store for them? Or had she overlooked and underestimated the emerging danger? It was only after the mission to save the Tarim that she had realised that their age-old enemy had regained strength. Abigail in particular had never understood why the army did not act more fiercely and decisively against the witches' enemies, especially after the massacre at Charvel's wedding.
Beyond all reason, Tally tried to cling onto the hope that the General had a reason, that she still had their best interests at heart, and that her actions were purposeful in regards to the Nation's safety no matter what others said. But could the cadets even survey the hardships of such a terrible war? Or could they not leave this to the generals?
Was it possible that her mother had been right in the end and that she had been better off never joining the army? Would she then have been spared this unbearable grief?
Tally looked up at the sky, covered with grey clouds. She shivered as an icy breeze caught her. Her body shook and the knowledge that Alder was gone forced a feeling of agonizing and definite loneliness into her heart. A desperate cry was caught in her throat, but no words left her mouth. She felt like she was being torn apart from the inside out and her whole being would dissolve into tiny shreds to be carried away by the icy winds. Little white flakes fell from the sky landing on her tear-soaked face and melted after a tender touch. It was snowing at Fort Salem and getting icier by the minute. The other soldiers looked up at the sky in irritation before continuing with their hasty duties. Unusual weather was not uncommon at Fort Salem, for they know there were enough witches who could influence it.
Sarah Alder had also been one of them. Especially when anger gripped her, huge, menacing flashes of lightning twitched across the sky and dark, threatening thunder rumbled in the distance. Tally had often felt the rage flowing through the General and into her. How could a single woman carry and bear so much agonizing fury without being torn apart by it?
Now, however, there was only an unbearable silence and a white veil that settled over Fort Salem, as if - like the many dead from the Camarilla attack - it was being laid to eternal rest.
Powerless, Tally sank to her knees and closed her eyes. Tears flowed freely down her face, even though she thought she could never cry this much. Her heart tightened. She did not feel the cold of the snow, for she felt like she was freezing from the inside out.
What had she done? Why did she always have to dig so deep for the truth until it hurt people she loved? Was that an acceptable price to pay for a truth that might have been better kept hidden?
She knew that Nicte Batan had only survived thanks to her. In a burst of courage, she had never suspected she had in her, she had faced the General and challenged her, declaring Rite of Proxy. She had put herself between Batan and Alder because the truth was meant to be told. At least that's what she had thought then, now she wasn't so sure anymore. She could still remember the horror in the General's gaze that gave way to unbridled anger.
I don't want to hurt you.
Alder's words echoed in her mind.
If she didn't want to hurt her, why did it hurt so much now? Why did it feel like it would be easier to give up? To just let herself sink to the bottom in the icy waters of loneliness?
How could Alder leave her alone in this cold world? She had felt how grateful she had been for their words, that they would now bear the burden she had carried for centuries. But how was that going to work? How did this war work without Alder? How did the world function without Alder? She had been a constant for America before it was even the United States. She was the face of an army that was supposed to keep all of mankind safe, and yet these same people developed a plague that targeted their protectors. Why had it not taken Tally, but Alder's biddies? How had the might General fallen so easily, yet cadets of barely a year's experience survived?
Thousands of questions flew through her mind like splinters. None she knew the answer to and she gasped as her head began to throb increasingly worse. The last, small part of her that seemed to be keeping her alive closed her mind against the flood of grief. Pushed away the unimaginable that it did not understand.
Sarah Alder was dead.
And Tally collapsed completely to the ground, her body heavy and tired while her eyes blurred with tears. She looked wearily up at the cold sky. This moment of pain felt infinite taken out of time and she would be forced to suffer through it forever, as if there was no yesterday and no tomorrow, only this terrible now filled with this unbearable grief.
Time passed, unnoticed by the young woman. A small voice in her head whispered that there would always be a tomorrow. A reason to fight. A reason to breathe. It reminded her that Sarah Alder would have wanted it that way.
She would not be forgotten.
But dearly missed.
In memory of my uncle who passed away last winter.