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A few minor details have been changed for the sake of my story, but nothing major.
It was the grand opening for The Leafling, a small garden shop in Montpelier, Vermont. The owners, Jamie and Dani, had been setting up for this very day for over a month. Plants poured over from every surface, a large bookshelf was filled with guides for any plant you could think of, and (Dani's contribution) an extensive collection of gemstones. It was only void of the classic, 'brand new' smell, with the smell of fresh soil and a cohesion of floral scents in its place.
The first day was slow, by anyone's standards. Jamie passed the time by thoughtfully caring for each plant. Dani, on the other hand, was a bit more impatient. She paced circles around the store as she picked up something only to put it back down in its place. Every time a person would walk by the large windows, she would perk up, only to watch them walk past the door.
After two hours of this, Dani leaned over the counter and huffed. "Is anyone going to come in today?"
"Just give it time," Jamie stated, clearly not concerned. "Once people learn about us, they'll be knocking down the doors to come visit the cute blonde who works here." She flashed a flirtatious smile over the table at Dani who rested her head on her hand.
As if on cue, the door swung open with a ring of the bell above the frame. A young woman with bright red hair walked into the shop. She had on a simple blouse with a few coffee spots on the sleeve, faded jeans, and a pink hair ribbon around her ponytail. Dani, renewed, jumped up from her position.
"A customer," she cried. Dani ran around the counter and rushed to Jamie's side. "We have a customer, Jamie."
"I can see that, Poppins," Jamie said. She wiped her hands off on her own jeans and nodded at the other woman. "Hi there, welcome in."
The woman took a few steps around the store, taking it all in. "Today is your first day open, right?"
"Yes, it is," Dani said, still a bit too eager.
"You have quite a collection," she said. "We don't have many plant shops around here, unfortunately. Not that I should be allowed to have plants, I kill everything I touch."
"Well, Jamie knows everything about plants," Dani continued.
Jamie laughed, a bit embarrassed. "Dani–."
"Oh, now, don't be modest," Dani said to her girlfriend. Then, she turned back to the customer. "I'm serious. Ask her a question."
The woman glanced between the two of them, but was clearly entertained and not the least bit uncomfortable because, in good humor, pointed toward a large fern plant in the corner. "Okay, what is that one?"
"That," Jamie said as she stepped closer to the plant and simultaneously shot a look of feigned annoyance at Dani. "Is a fiddle leaf fig. Difficult to take care of, that one, but just the right tricks and it will do your bidding."
The woman nodded in approval, "Well, you've got me convinced." She clapped her hands once and flashed a sheepish smile. "But, I'm pretty sure I'm a lost cause. Which is why I was hoping you could help me. I own the coffee shop next door and I was hoping I could commission you to help me bring in some plants and then, maybe, keep them alive?"
Jamie chuckled and nodded, "I think we can work something like that out." She extended her hand. "I'm Jamie and this is Dani."
"Ellie," the woman said. She stepped forward to shake Jamie's hand and then turned to shake Dani's hand.
"Oh, that's a beautiful name," Dani said. "Is it short for something?"
"Eleanor," she said.
"So, what do you got over there now?" Jamie asked. She crossed her arms and leaned back against the table behind her with a cool confidence so clearly opposite of Dani's excitement.
Ellie rubbed her forehead for a moment and grimaced. "Uh, plastic?"
Jamie clicked her tongue and shook her head. For a brief moment, she looked at Dani and shot a wink her way. "I see we've got our first emergency case."
A redness pushed its way over Dani's face. Her stomach began to roll on top of itself. Immediately, she scanned Ellie's face, her body language, everything in hopes of assessing whether or not Ellie had caught on. The two voices, chatting easily about all the possibilities, melded together for Dani, drowned out by anxiety. It wasn't until Jamie called her name a few times that Dani snapped back into the conversation.
"Ellie was just asking if we're new in town," Jamie stated. She raised her eyebrows at Dani, telling her to participate.
Dani took a deep breath and then looked between the two. "Oh, yeah. I mean, no. Well," she shook her head and laughed awkwardly. "I'm from here, but I went to England for a while and Jamie always wanted to come to Vermont."
"White Christmas," Jamie said, as if that was explanation enough, but Ellie nodded in understanding.
"I'm new in town as well," Ellie replied. "I'm just from a smaller town up north, but there were too many coffee shops and not enough people."
Jamie glanced over at Dani, finally catching on to Dani's current mannerisms. She returned to the conversation quickly. "Well, maybe Dani can show the both of us around a bit. What do you say, Poppins?"
"A lot has already changed in the past few years, but I think there's a few good spots around still." Dani smiled at Ellie, but avoided Jamie's questioning look. "Are you free this weekend?"
"How about Saturday?" Ellie asked.
"Saturday it is," Jamie nodded.
Ellie said her goodbyes, promised to be in the following day to give Jamie a proper tour of the coffee shop, and then left. As the ring of the doorbell faded, Dani quietly picked up a broom and focused on the task. She pretended like she didn't notice Jamie walk up behind her, arms crossed over her chest.
"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you or are you going to make me guess?" Jamie asked.
Dani, refusing to turn around, stopped sweeping and stared straight ahead at the wall in front of her. "You winked at me. In front of Ellie."
"Is that all it took to get you this worked up," Jamie chuckled. Dani spun on her heel suddenly and the look on her face made Jamie stop laughing. "You like it when I wink at you."
"Not in front of strangers," Dani cried.
The realization of what Dani was getting at seemed to pass over Jamie because she nodded and stared at the ground. "You don't want the world to know about us."
"It's not that. It's just different here than in England."
Jamie rolled her eyes, "What, because it's my people that may judge and not yours? Or do you think it's just a walk in the park in England? Because I assure you it is not."
Dani put her hands over her face and then ran them through her hair. "This is all new for me. People in my life don't know that I'm…"
"You're what?" Jamie asked. "Gay? Because I don't think I've actually heard you say it."
Dani pressed her eyes closed and tried to steady her ever quickening breaths. "What if people are terrible?"
"Some of them are going to be," Jamie whispered. "Yes, we aren't going to come out to every person on the street, but we also can't deny ourselves of every minute detail that could tip someone off or else we may as well just go back in the closet."
Dani nodded, eyes still closed. "You're right." Then, she opened her eyes and did exactly what she wanted to do in that moment. She hugged Jamie. It still felt a little scary to do it in front of the windows. She thought too much into how long they hugged and where their hands were. She pulled away quicker than she would have if they were tucked away in their own little apartment. "I just need a little time to get there."
"Okay, Poppins," Jamie nodded. "I can give you a little time."
It was very much all new to Dani. She didn't think about it much. All of it felt so right that she almost couldn't believe there was any other way of living. Every once in a while, she would pause and ask herself if this was true. If Jamie was, in fact, in front of her. If Jamie was, in fact, hers to kiss and hers to sleep next to at night. A few times, those moments of utter awareness led her to think about her life as a gay woman. Even turning those words over in her mind felt weird. She spent so long tucking them away inside other memories of her and Edmund that she didn't know what to do with them now that they were at the forefront.
Everything was so fast it almost felt like a dream. She really hadn't thought she would make it this far so she'd spent every moment focusing on the present, the present with Jamie. But now, even though she was still taking it one day at a time, she had found herself with so many days that she was now making a life with Jamie. They owned a shop together, rented their first apartment together, and now, apparently, making friends together. Taking it one day at a time was no longer a blinder to the fact that the reality was starting to settle in a little deeper.
The truth was, which Dani was starting to figure out, taking it one day at a time means accepting that there may not be a tomorrow just as much as there may be. It was all the same, really. And one day, she might have to pay taxes. One day, she might need a 401k and a retirement plan. One day, and this last one settled in with an overwhelming feeling of sickness, a White Christmas with her mother and Jamie. Probably, if she still wanted to be honest, with Edmund's mother as well since that's what had always happened and she couldn't imagine it would change much now.
The first week open for the shop became busier by the day. Ellie proved to be a good person to have on their side. It hadn't taken her long to find a place in the bustling community of small business owners around the city and she had made sure to pass on what a great job Jamie had done in her coffee shop. Other places started reaching out to Jamie to hire her for the same service. Residents began to hear whisperings of a new plant shop on their side of town and stopped by. Jamie was busy talking plants up front and Dani was busy ordering a surplus of items to replenish what they hadn't realized would go so quickly.
Dani picked up on plant knowledge surprisingly fast and every time she had an in-depth conversation about a particular flower or plant, she would find Jamie staring at her with a smile. It never failed to give her butterflies each time she caught it. Whenever someone came in and complemented Jamie on her arrangements or the plants in Ellie's coffee shop, pride boiled up inside Dani and her own smile would be impossible to stifle.
Friday night, Jamie flipped the sign on the door to 'closed' and walked to Dani who was behind the counter placing cut flowers into a vase. "Have something for you," Jamie said.
"Oh, yeah?" Dani asked, still focused on the flowers in front of her. Jamie set a small vase onto the counter with a single moonflower bud in it. It hadn't yet bloomed. The flower pulled Dani's attention finally and she looked between the flower and her girlfriend. "Is that a moonflower?"
"Yeah," Jamie said. Her voice was quiet with hints of nervousness as she leaned over the countertop.
Dani took a closer look, "They're really rare, you know?"
Jamie took a deep breath, "I've got a problem." A look of worry passed over Dani's face. "Or, rather, we've got a problem, Poppins."
The nickname cut through the tension in the room and Dani calmed a bit. She mused, "Oh, no."
"You see, I'm not sick of you. At all." Jamie's voice shook. "I'm actually pretty in love with you, it turns out." A smile spread across Dani's face and all anxiety drained from Jamie.
For the first time, Dani didn't think about other people or customers or the windows. All she thought about was the amazing woman standing across from her who just told her she loved her. Dani stepped out from around the counter and kissed Jamie. They stumbled their way into the back of the shop and, not once, could Dani bring herself to worry about anyone else other than Jamie. Something inside her knew what she was feeling was different than anything she ever felt before. But, the last person she had uttered those words to was Eddy and the pain of that confused her. There was no pressure from Jamie to say it back and she seemed content with Dani's response.
The first week had been a whirlwind of excitement, one they both knew would settle down shortly once the magic of a grand opening began to fade. Still, they relished each moment and arrived at Saturday dinner with Ellie exhausted, but fulfilled.
Jamie held the door open for Dani and it made her blush as she walked through. Not entirely a self-conscious blush, one overthinking the stares of strangers, but also a smitten blush that arrived every time Jamie held the door for her. It felt as though Jamie was inviting Dani into her life over and over again, always reminding her of her place by Jamie's side. They shared a glance for a moment that was just for the two of them. Brief enough, Dani knew, that no one could quite catch it, but long enough for them to know it was there.
If Dani had entertained any concerns about arriving with Jamie, she had herself quelled them quickly. After all, she asked herself, would anyone think twice about them closing the store and sharing a ride after work? From across the room, Ellie called their attention by raising a wine glass above her head. Dani took a moment to examine Ellie's facial expressions once again, but nothing there seemed to question the nature of their arrival. She swallowed the anxiety as best she could and followed Jamie through the restaurant.
"I hope you like reds," Ellie stated as a welcome, referring to the bottle of Pinot on the table in front of her.
"I'm a bit partial to a pint myself, but that's just the Brit in me, I suppose," Jamie said. Still, she poured herself a generous glass and then filled Dani's.
Dani took a sip, "We're working on the wine. And coffee, but she hasn't taken to that one quite as well."
"Maybe I would like it better," Jamie started, swallowing her mouthful of wine, "if your coffee wasn't as black as the Grim Reaper."
"Hey!" Dani cried. She grimaced and turned to Ellie. "I guess you'll just have to teach me your tricks."
Ellie shook her head, "No, a magician never reveals their secrets. But, I will save Jamie from whatever it is you're making. Swing by the shop in the mornings and I'll get you two coffee. On the house, of course."
Dani and Jamie both took a liking to Ellie very quickly. She was just fiery enough to joke with Jamie and just sweet enough to smooth over whatever was thrown Dani's way. She was a very theatrical person with a loud voice and tended to turn topics of conversation her way. Yet, every time she did, she provided some short anecdote about herself that always elicited a laugh from the couple and they didn't mind much.
"Sorry to interrupt," the waiter said as he stopped at the table. "Here are the menus. Today's specials are on the top there. Beneath it is the drink menu in case you want to shake it up a bit, but I'm happy to bring another bottle of the Pinot over if you would like."
Jamie nodded, "We'll take another bottle of Pinot." Then she leaned closer and covered her mouth with her hand as if to whisper a secret. "And a pint of your finest, for me. Just slip it under the table and I'll down it when they aren't looking." She straightened up and adjusted her napkin on the table. "Alright then, thanks, mate."
The waiter chuckled and left, though his gaze lingered on Jamie a bit longer and it caught Dani's attention. She cleared her throat and picked up the menu in front of her. "The chicken alfredo looks tasty."
"Oh, it is," Ellie said. She also picked up a menu and glanced it over. "I had it a month or so ago on a first date. Only good thing about that night, if you ask me. The guy was twenty minutes late, called me Melanie, and then hit on the waitress right in front of me."
"I bet you went on a second date, didn't ya?" Jamie asked. Ellie tried to bury a smile into the menu in her hand and Jamie laughed. "I knew I pegged you for a fixer. They're not worth it."
Ellie smirked, "Look who's calling the kettle black."
A look of confusion passed over Jamie's face, but Dani's reddened with understanding. "What?" Jamie asked.
Ellie leaned over the table, "Come on now, Jamie. You're clearly a bad-boy kinda girl."
"Oh, no," Jamie shook her head.
"Don't lie," Ellie laughed. "You look like you would love to be swept away on a motorcycle."
"What Jamie means is," Dani made eye contact with her girlfriend. She started talking before she really knew where she was going with it and had to take a second to decide on a path to take it. "She doesn't really date much."
Jamie was clearly relieved for the way out. She nodded vigorously and slightly raised her glass toward Dani. "Yep, waste of time and energy."
Ellie held a triumphant smile. "Exactly what someone who has had too many experiences with the bad boys would say." Then, she turned on Dani who prepared herself for the same line of questioning. Her eyes narrowed as she assessed Dani's facial features. "You like the nice boys. Quiet, pensive, but passionate behind closed doors."
Suddenly, Jamie choked on her wine from laughing and covered her mouth with the back of her hand so she didn't accidentally spew it everywhere. "She's really got you nailed there, Poppins."
Ellie set her glass down loudly on the table, "I really have to know the story behind that nickname."
"Oh, it's not that exciting," Dani said. "I was an au pair in England for the same family she was a groundskeeper for."
"Must have been a terrible employer if you both quit and moved here," mused Ellie.
"They were amazing," Jamie answered, her tone almost stern. It was something Dani loved about Jamie– how loyal she was. No matter how removed they were from Bly Manor, how many nightmares the two had about the last bit of their time there, or how long since they had talked to the others, Jamie would hold steadfast in her loyalty to the Wingraves.
And then, Dani felt a wave of warmth brush through her. Her mind had used the word love. It took her by surprise, but then, it didn't at the same time. Of course I love Jamie, she thought. It felt as much of a fact as her own name and the newness of the realization faded into the feeling of a comfortable memory. She caught herself smiling, giddy, Jamie's way.
"The two kids I was watching, Miles and Flora, left with their uncle," Dani said, returning to the conversation. "So I didn't really have a job anymore."
"And the manor was closed down," Jamie continued. "Have to let the ivy do its own work at that point. It's part of the gardening code."
"Manor?" Ellie asked. Dani knew they had opened up a whole can of worms. Travelling so much the past few months, they never had to talk about their time at Bly with anyone but themselves. No script had been developed, no plan to hide that history or to beat around the bush.
Thankfully, the waiter came back right then. On his tray, he had a new bottle of the Pinot, a pint of beer, and an empty wine glass. He unloaded all of it onto the table, and began opening the wine bottle.
"What's the occasion tonight, ladies?" He asked. The cork popped and he topped off Ellie's and Dani's glasses.
"Just a girl's night," Ellie responded. "Occasion enough for indulging ourselves in a little too much wine."
"Absolutely," he said. Then, he turned to Jamie and picked up the pint. "And for you, miss, I have gone into the back and found a bottle of the finest lager we offer." Carefully, and with expert precision, he poured a bit of beer into the wine glass then set the pint back down.
Jamie took a sip, "Quite fine, that one."
The waiter leaned closer to Jamie, "Perfect, they'll never know the difference."
All four laughed– Dani notably less than the others, but even she couldn't ignore the humor in the situation– and placed orders for their meals. Once he had taken leave, Ellie began recounting ways that men had flirted with her in the past. Dani felt Jamie's foot gently push up against hers and Dani slid hers forward until their ankles rested against each other. It centered her again. She let herself get lost between stories of Ellie's life and quiet reflection of the newfound fact that she loved Jamie. How badly she wanted to say it now. She could slip it into the conversation, whisper it in her ear, fold it into the palm of Jamie's hand.
At the end of the night, when the three decided against dessert, though Dani knew sweet-tooth Jamie really just had her mind on the cake Dani had made the night before, the waiter produced three receipts. While Ellie and Dani laid out their cash on the table, Jamie flagged the waiter back down.
"Sorry," she said and held the receipt back out. "Think you forgot to put the pint on here, mate."
The waiter shook his head and refused to extend his hand, "I thought if I bought your drink, we could count this as a first date since they're usually so awkward anyway. I'll let you buy the next round, though, if you insist. Next Friday?"
"Oh, I–," Jamie said. Dani couldn't take it anymore and she slid a hand into Jamie's inner elbow.
"We've already got plans," Dani quipped. She didn't know what had gone over her at that moment, but she didn't really care. It felt right to hold Jamie's arm like that and right to be unashamed about the person she loved. Loved. There it was again. The waiter nodded, clearly embarrassed, and then backed away from the table.
Then, Dani's nerves kicked in again. She remembered, anxiously, that Ellie was sitting right there. Ellie who really thought they could have a type between nice boys and bad boys. Ellie who had brought them a week's worth of business and could probably take it away just as easily. Dani was too nervous to turn and look and Jamie was too shocked, staring at her girlfriend, to look either.
A snort pierced through the awkward silence and both of them turned to see Ellie laughing. They braced themselves. Ellie downed her wine and then pointed at the two. "You really let me sit there and try to pinpoint the kind of guy that gets you hot when you were probably playing footsie under the table the whole time?"
Jamie and Dani both laughed, though it was very restrained. They still weren't entirely sure where Ellie was going with this. She pushed up from her chair, grabbed her purse, and then waited for the other two to do the same (save for Jamie who didn't have a purse, just a jacket pocket where she slipped her wallet).
In the parking lot, Ellie began to laugh again. "It really is so obvious now that I think about it." She stopped and turned to face them. Her eyebrows crumpled together for a moment, thinking. "My last relationship was with a girl."
A deep laugh erupted from Dani who had not expected to hear a confession like that. Next to her, Jamie pushed her hands into her pockets and groaned loudly. "Oh come on, Elle," she cried. "You can do better than that."
"I know!" She cried. "I thought too much into it." Ellie went serious and looked between Jamie and Dani. "It's why I left my hometown, actually. Everyone there is Presbytarian and my dad's the pastor for the only church in town. When he found out, so did everyone else.."
Jamie nodded, "I get it. I was in the system in England. Most the families were Catholic."
Ellie turned to Dani, "What's your story?"
"What?" Dani asked.
"Your story," Ellie said. "We've all got one."
Jamie bumped her elbow into Dani's arm and whispered, "Eddy."
"Oh, uh," Dani paused. She wasn't sure she wanted to talk about him right then, but something about the conversation made her feel safe. There wasn't pity, there was just… a shared sense of grief. "I was engaged. To a man. I called it off," she paused again and glanced at Jamie. "Told him I was gay. He got upset and got out of the car. Right in that moment, he was hit by a semi-truck." A small smile spread on Jamie's face.
"Jesus," Ellie muttered.
"Right? What a lot we are," Jamie laughed. She placed an open palm on Dani's back, right between her shoulder blades, and rubbed small circles. "Well, we've all got work early tomorrow. But we'll see you soon?"
"Tomorrow morning," Ellie said. "For your coffee."
In the car, Dani turned the key in the ignition, put it into reverse, but didn't pull her foot from the brake pedal. "Are you mad?" She asked.
"What?" Jamie asked.
"About the waiter. Are you mad?"
Jamie set her hand on Dani's thigh and let it slowly snake up higher and higher. "Never seen you jealous before, Poppins. I kinda liked it."
"Okay," Dani nodded and took a deep breath as she took her foot off the pedal.
At home, Jamie immediately threw her coat on a chair by the door and made straight for the refrigerator. She pulled out the lemon cake from the night before (baked by Dani, recipe by Owen) and cut herself a big slice.
"Ellie's fun," she reflected. "Not Owen and Hannah, though."
"Owen and Hannah are family. Ellie's a friend," Dani said. She picked up the jacket and hung it in the front closet.
Jamie nodded, "You're right."
This was how they referred to Hannah. She was someone who used to be in their lives and now no longer was– not as someone who had passed. It was a hard thing to wrap your head around, spending months talking to someone everyday only to find out they had been dead the whole time.
"Owen should really make you head baker at the restaurant he's opening up," Jamie said over a mouthful of cake. "You really gave him a run for his money with this one."
Dani walked up behind her girlfriend and slid her hands into the pockets on the front of Jamie's jeans. She rested her head on Jamie's shoulder and whispered, "That's because I've got a secret ingredient."
"Oh?" Jamie asked.
"Love."
Jamie stopped mid-bite. She swallowed then turned around to face Dani, who let her hands slide up and around Jamie's neck. "What?"
"I love you," Dani said. It felt right. The last time she had said these words to a partner was to Edmund. She had loved him, but she hadn't been in love with him. Her words had felt hollow and forced. But here, now, with Jamie in front of her, she had never felt more true in anything.
Tears developed in Jamie's eyes and she framed Dani's face with her hands. She nodded aggressively. "I love you, too."
For someone who was so against love, Dani realized, Jamie had the biggest heart of anyone she had ever known.
New chapters posted on Mondays and Thursdays.