I wanna get married, I want it perfect / I want my granddaddy preaching the service
I never thought about getting married. I was never a girl who spent hours on end playing with Barbie and Ken and dreaming of what my "big day" looked like. But I knew it wasn't whatever Alice was planning for me. She really didn't seem to understand that I didn't want imported lace for my veil or the most exquisite hand made finger sandwiches from Italy.
I want magnolias out in the country. / Not too many people, save my daddy some money
The more we planned the more I realized I wanted a small wedding. Something with just family and friends, maybe on the beach. Just simple and plain, like me. Instead she has Emmett tearing apart the forest so that she can make benches out of some poor trees. Of course Emmett is having the time of his life – though I'm now careful to make sure they know when I'm exiting the house so the shrapnel stops flying for a few minutes at least.
Ooh, I got it all planned out. / Ooh I can see it all right now.
I have to admit, Alice sure can plan a party. It really is gorgeous, but as I sit here staring at the large clearing with the lights twinkling and the decorations starting to go up, I can't seem to find a single part of me anywhere. I can see Edward in the classic lines of my dress, I see Alice in the over the top bouquets that were way too expensive for a handful of flowers, I see Esme in the careful details that have gone into the cake. But not a single detail of this wedding says Bella. In fact the only thing I've had a say in was sending an invitation to Jake and even that has gone unanswered.
"Bella, love?" I jump, not realizing Edward has snuck up behind me.
"Yes Edward?"
"Love, you're going to get too cold. Please come inside. I need to leave soon and I will be out of my mind with worry if you don't come in and get warm. I can't have my bride getting sick the night before her wedding."
I swallow the sigh that tries to break free and look up at him. It's plenty warm enough considering it's mid August but I don't have the energy to fight him tonight. I stand up and brush the dirt off my pants, turning, I ask him "Where are you going to be going tonight? You could still stay…."
"I could never do that to you, my precious love. It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding" he scoffs.
I was hoping he'd offer to stay with me, but a small part of me is glad he said no. Maybe a few hours away from him will help me figure out why I'm in this funk all of a sudden.
"BELLY BOO!" Emmett bellowed from across the house. "We're going to steal your groom for the rest of the night. So say your goodbyes so we can get to the debauchery!"
"Please ignore him love, he has no idea what that word even means" Edward ground out. Giggling I turned, kissed him goodbye, and waved to Emmett and Jasper who had suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
"Be safe. I'll see you tomorrow Edward" I said softly. He kissed me and joined Emmett and Jasper on their way out the door. Sighing, I walked over to the couch and grabbed the book I had been reading earlier today. As I went to throw myself onto the couch a picture fluttered out of the book and onto my lap.
He'll have his black suit, black tie hiding out in the back.
Jake. A shot of pain went through me as I stared down at the picture of us. It was taken while Edward was gone, Jake had convinced me to come with him to Homecoming. It was after he had phased so he dwarfed me in his sharp black tux and tie. I was wearing a simple knee length green slip dress, beaded from top to bottom so it shimmered and shined in the lights. The picture was taken by the yearbook committee for his school, he had managed to use his puppy dog eyes to get a copy of it for us. But the over the top tie and dress weren't what caught my eye, no it was the look on our faces. He was looking at me like I was the only person in the room and I was laughing, my smile wide and my eyes scrunched tight. Looking at this picture, I could almost pretend that this is how he would look at me if I was his imprint.
Swallowing the sudden onslaught of tears, I tuck the picture back into my book and set it down gently. Would he come? Would he come back from wherever he's been to share this day with me? Is it bad of me to be so worried about seeing him when it's Edward that I'm marrying? If the roles were reversed, would I stay gone and lick my wounds or would I suck it up and be there for him? Realizing that I'm not going to be able to read tonight, I grab my book and head to my room. Maybe I'll be able to get a few hours of sleep so Alice won't complain about how bad I look.
I'll do a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask.
"Bellaaaaaa. It's time to get ready!" Groaning, I roll over and stare at the clock. Suddenly the clock on my bedside table seems worn and on the verge of giving up. I can just barely make out the time – 7:15 AM.
"Alice, what on earth do you mean it is time to get ready? The wedding isn't until 2 pm!" I shout, knowing full well she could hear me even if I whispered. Suddenly the blankets that I have huddle in are whipped away and an overly cheery pixie is staring at me with a blinding smile.
"Oh silly, we've got to get you waxed and then into the spa so we can try and make you a bride worthy of Edward. I'm not even sure we'll have enough time as it is!"
"Gee – thanks Alice. You sure do know how to make a girl feel special on her wedding day" I say with a roll of my eyes. Stupid pixie with her stupid dress and stupid plans. Fighting the urge to storm away, I slide my feet to the ground and search for my slippers. Slipping them on and standing with a groan I stretch, my eyes slipping over the book that holds the picture from last night. "Alice...where exactly is all of this happening?"
"I have everyone coming to our house, so please hurry we need to get over there right now." She claps.
"Ugh, okay okay. I'm coming, but please I need a human minute" I say with a pointed look. I slip out of my room, and into the bathroom. I know Charlie has hidden a flask somewhere in this towel closet and I suddenly find myself in the need of liquid courage. As I dig through the odds and ends, I'm rewarded with a tink as my fingers slip around the cool metal of Charlie's flask. Turning on the shower I quickly unscrew the lid and tip it to my lips. The burn as it rolls down my throat is more comforting than punishing and I take a second gulp quickly. Figuring I've pushed my luck enough, I screw the cap on and slide it back into its hiding place. Jumping in the shower I grab my mouthwash and hope the spearmint will cover the smell of the whiskey. The last thing I need is for Alice to get on my case about drinking.
"BELLA YOU HAVE TO HURRY!" Alice beats on the bathroom door, apparently forgetting that not everything is vampire proof. The door groans under her persistent knocks and I scurry out of the shower.
"Geez Alice, I'm coming, I'm coming. Can't I just meet you over there?"
"No! We are already so far behind and there's no way your truck will make it in time. Just get ready and I'll run you over. Now get a move on" With a final hit to my already weak door, she must leave because I suddenly hear the front door closing. With a huff I'm back in my room, slipping on jeans and a t-shirt, I know she'll complain no matter what I put on so I might as well have one last choice.
I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees/ He's the one I wanna marry
Hours later I have been plucked, poked, and prodded within an inch of my life. I don't even kind of resemble myself anymore, there's no way that is me in the mirror. No, the woman looking back at me looks older, sophisticated, with hair pulled into an elegant updo and a veil resting over her shoulders. I'm suddenly interrupted from my staring by Renee knocking on the door as she walks in.
"Oh my girl, you look gorgeous! Stand up and let me look at you" Her eyes are tearing up and she rushes to help me stand so I can pose for her.
"Thanks mom, I guess it just still doesn't seem real. I don't even look like me." I whisper.
"Oh honey," She wetly cries. "You look absolutely amazing. Edward is such a lucky man!"
I'm saved from responding when Charlie suddenly slips his head in, "Hey Bells, Alice says it's time. Renee, Phil is here to walk you to your seat."
With one last tearful hug, she steps back and slips past Charlie. Suddenly I very much wish I could be the little girl that could throw herself into her dads arms and cry. His mustache twitches as he looks me over.
"Well, I can't say I'd have picked it, but that dress sure is something else Bells." He grins. He knows how I feel about dresses, and even more so, he knows how I feel about heels. With a roll of my eyes, I take a step towards him.
"Thanks Dad, you ready to do this?" I chuckle at the glower on his face. Charlie likes being in the spotlight even less than I do.
"Hey Bells, before we do head down, I just wanted to say something." He says. "You're sure about this, right? You're doing this for you and not for anyone else? I mean, you're only 18, you've got the rest of your life to be married, there's no rush."
"Yeah Dad, I know. I just, I – I don't know anymore. I think its just wedding day jitters."
"Well you say the word, and I'll have you out the back before anyone is the wiser." He says with a conspiratorial grin and offering me his arm. I grin and follow him out the door. If only he knew that his future son in law probably already knew of the offer.
"Um, Bells, one last thing, someone wanted to see you before the big walk down the aisle." I gasp as I look up and see a towering figure gliding out of the shadows.
"Jake." I whisper.
"Heya Bells." He says, clearly uncomfortable in his almost too small suit. I'm almost to him when my heel catches the hem of my dress and I feel myself falling forward. With a grunt, two warm arms are wrapped around my waist and for the first time in weeks I feel whole again. I try to gather my skirt so I can get my feet back under me, cussing under my breath the whole time because of this stupid dress and utter death traps on my feet.
"I think it's too late to fall for me Bells," I hear him whisper in my ear as a soft chuckle shakes his warm body. As I finally get my footing, I realize that these shoes apparently have one benefit, I can almost reach his lips. I glance up and hear his breath catch. He tries to grin, but it doesn't fully reach his eyes.
"Jake." I mutter. "What, how...when? I mean, I haven't heard from you in weeks and now….you're here? Are you staying?"
"I couldn't miss my special girls big day, could I?" If I hadn't spent hours listening to his soft baritone I would have missed the pain that was hidden under his smile.
"It's good to see you young man, I heard you were traveling?" Charlie shatters the moment, and instantly Jake is releasing me, setting me on my heels and standing upright in one swift motion.
"Yes sir, I decided to take a few weeks and see what's out there. I traveled up into Canada and spent a few weekends hiking in a few national parks I'd read about."
"Glad to hear it son, though I know our girl here is happy to have you home again." Charlie has stolen the air from the room, but I don't have time to process the pain on Jake's face because Charlie is turning to me and holding his arm out. "Well Bella, I think it's time we get this show on the road."
With new eyes, it hits me - Charlie is walking me to the aisle so I can get married. To Edward, not Jake. Suddenly the air feels too thick and I cannot breathe.
But he don't wanna marry me.
"Charlie, can you get Alice for me please? I just, I need a minute" I stumble to a bench nearby, wondering which tree Emmett ripped apart for this sudden safe haven of mine. Seriously, that boy needs to find a hobby. He was much too excited to pull the forest down around him. Shaking my head, I realize that Jake is still here, still close enough to touch, close enough that the soft scent of pine and home is wrapped around us.
"You okay Bells?" He drops before me with a grace that shouldn't be possible with his long limbs. He picks up my bouquet from where it has fallen and sets it next to me. "You look like you're going to be sick, what's going on?"
He's not far off, I suddenly feel as if I'm on the tilt-a-whirl and my life is passing by me in flashes. Spinning round and round I see the future that could be, a wedding on the beach, Charlie and Billy crashed in front of the TV after a long morning of fishing, two dark haired children grabbing me at the knees. In seconds I realize that this is a mistake, I can't do this. I rip off the stupid heels that Alice forced me into, I will seriously never forgive her for those, grab my skirts in my hands, and with a tearful look at Jake – I run.
I remember the night he almost kissed me / Yeah, he kinda freaked out, cuz we had a long history
I almost laugh at the absurdity of the moment, a puny human is trying to outright her supernatural fiancé and best friend. But I throw myself forward as fast as I can without tripping and duck into the closest door that I can reach. Slamming the door shut, I slide down the door and drop my head back. Tears are starting to break loose and I feel a giant hole in my chest.
"C'mon Bella, you gotta pull yourself together." I mutter, pulling my knees as close to my chest as the fitted dress will allow. I can hear someone running up the hallway, too clunky and heavy to anyone other than my father or mother. I'm not sure I'm prepared to see any one, let alone my flighty mother or the concerned look in my fathers face.
"Bella?" I hear Charlie call through the door. With a hiccup I turn so I can see his shadow under the door.
"Char- Dad. Daddy, I….I'm so sorry." And the tears are flowing and suddenly I feel like a little girl again.
"What is it Bella? What happened, did Jake say something? I'll beat that boy." I hear him grunt. I hiccup a laugh, and take a shuddering breath.
"No Dad, Jake didn't do anything wrong."
"Then what is it Bells? What's going on?"
"I...I don't think I can marry Edward, Dad." I whisper. I don't think he's heard me until I can hear the scraping of his shoes as he turns to face the door.
"Well kiddo, that's your choice, but I'm not sure hiding in the broom closet at his parents house is the best way to make this decree. How about you come out here and we talk about this." With a start, I realize that I am in fact in a broom closet, in my haste to get away I didn't even take note of where I was when I locked myself in.
Standing up, I straighten my dress and unlock the door with a click. Stepping forward I open the door and look out to see Charlie standing in the opening. I step into his arms, tears falling down my face again.
"There, there kiddo. It's okay. I've got you."
And I always wondered if he felt the same way / But when I sent those invites I knew it was too late
"Dad," I sniffle into his chest "I can't do this. Oh god, what am I doing?"
"Now let's take a breath here Bella. Wha-"
"Isabella!" Charlie is interrupted by the cool anger of Alice. "What on earth is doing on here!?" Her anger is more frightening than I could have imagined. Maybe its the knowledge that she could easily pick me up and carry me off or maybe its the guilt that's beginning to curl its way through my stomach, but I fear her for the first time since I've met her.
"Now look here young lady," Charlie starts. I put my hand on his chest and step away to look her in the eye.
"Alice. I don't think I can do this. I am so sorry that you have wasted your time and your money on this wedding bu-" I'm cut off by a low snarl.
"Bella, this is totally normal, it's just wedding day jitters. I can't imagine not having you as part of our family, its practically fate." She reaches for my hand, her cool touch causing me to shiver.
"No, Alice, I don't...I don't think I can do this." I manage to force out. The glimpse of a future with Jake was everything this wasn't. It was warm and happy, sunshine and laughing. It was Jake, it was – home. With a jolt I realize what it was all along, Jake was home for me. He was happiness and warmth, sunshine and laughter. Jake. My eyes snap up and search for him down the long hallway.
"He's not here." The once intoxicating voice of my betrothed announces. Suddenly he's no longer worried about seeing his bride before the wedding, though if there's not going to be a wedding maybe it's no longer bad luck. I cringe as his hand winds around my waist, the coolness seeps through the thin fabric and sinks into my bones. "He was on the verge of losing control so he left."
"He, he left?"
"Yes Isabella, he left. Didn't even look to see if you were okay. The mutt turned tail and ran as soon as you ran away from him." The cruel smile on his face is an echo of the smile that used to take my breath away.
And ooh, my daddy's been dreading this day / Oh but he doesn't know he ain't the only one giving me away
The pain that explodes in my chest has me dropping to the floor, Charlie catching me before I can crumple completely. Someone is screaming, but I can't make out any words. My heart is hurting and I feel like I'm going to explode out of my skin. It is too much and nothing all at once.
"Bella, Bella baby, c'mon honey. It's okay, you're okay. C'mere honey." Charlie is in my face, and I am starting without really seeing. "Bella, kiddo, hey, I need you to stop screaming. You're okay. It's okay. I'm here." Screaming? I'm the one screaming? "That's it, c'mon Bella. You're okay."
"Dad. Dad it hurts. Oh my god, ohmigod, omi-" I'm cut off by Sam stalking down the hallway.
"Bella," Sam comes to a stop in front of me "what did you say to Jake? He just stormed out of here saying he couldn't do this."
"Sam you have to get him back, I didn't say anything. I told him I couldn't do this and ran into the closet here." My throat is starting to hurt from the crying and apparent screaming I've been doing.
"Bella, I can't. He – he just took off and now I can't hear him." He says with a glance at Charlie.
"Isabella, I've been patient enough, our guests are here and it's time for us to begin." Somehow I've forgotten Edward was behind me. The ice of his touch jolts me back to reality.
"Now see here young man, you're in no position to try and force my daughter to get married when she obviously is having second thoughts." Charlie steps forward and pulls me behind him. "Bella, let's go make your apologies and then grab your things. You're coming home with me." With that he turns and makes his way down the hall and towards the waiting guests.
He'll have his black suit, black tie, hiding out in the back / I'll do a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask
Keeping up with Charlie is difficult in my dress, but I manage to keep stride with him only faltering when I see the silky black tie laying on the floor next to my bouquet. I quickly scoop it up and bring it to my nose, sniffing deeply. It smells so much like him, my eyes prick with tears. Squaring my shoulders I continue to follow Charlie out to the clearing.
"Ahem, if I can have everyone's attention for just a second." Suddenly 50 heads snap towards the sound of Charlie's voice. "Bella's mother and I would like to thank you all for coming, but at this time there will not be a wedding. Please help yourselves to the buffet and enjoy the afternoon." With a quick nod to Carlisle, Charlie is turning and pulling me after him. I stumble and curse my ability to trip in any scenario. A steadying hand is around my wrist, and I thank Charlie for catching me.
"I guess I should grab my things, then we can go" I murmur softly. I pull away from him and rush to the bedroom I was getting ready in. "I don't have much, I just want to change out of this dress before we go." I suddenly wished I had access to more alcohol, liquid courage would make this so much easier.
"Bella." I jump at the sound of Rosalie's voice. Of all the vampires in attendance, she is the last one I expected to follow me. "Let me help you out of that dress." My surprise must have been evident because she's chuckling and slipping behind me. The silence swells and before I realize I'm doing it, I'm making my apologies for everything. "Bella, please stop. Please. I wish for nothing more than for you to walk away from here today and never come back."
I snap around, already on edge from the last 45 minutes (is that it? Time seems to have stopped entirely for me) but I am prepared to fight. I'm taken aback at the sadness that is in her eyes. Rosalie has never liked me, she barely even tolerated me. "Message heard loud and clear Rose. I get it, you hate the human." I move to stomp away when I realize she still has a grip on the back of my dress.
"Would you please stop and let me help you. Besides, I'm not saying this out of hatred. I never wanted this life for you. I wanted you to live, to grow, to have babies and grow old. Not remaining unchanging, cold, and stuck as you are for the rest of eternity.
I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees
I'm not sure what it is, but there's something in her eyes that makes me believe her. With a nod, I step out of the dress and reach for my t-shirt. I look into the mirror and see a broken girl staring back at me. The sophisticated woman from earlier has disappeared and now I recognize the person looking back. I quickly grab my bag and turn to Rosalie.
"I know you don't like me, but thank you for helping me. For what it's worth, I really am sorry for all of the trouble I've caused." I manage to get out before I start crying again. I'm going to dry out soon if this doesn't stop, sheesh. "I hate to ask anything of you, but can you help me make sure Edward doesn't follow? I'm….I'm not sure I can handle seeing him right now."
"Of course Bella, I'll keep watch so that you have some time alone until you can get things figured out." She quickly hugs me and then suddenly she's gone. Charlie knocks on the door and I step out to follow him to his cruiser.
"You all set?" He says as we slide in and he starts the car. With my nod, he puts it in reverse and pulls out of the Cullen's drive, turning right towards the coast. At my quizzical look he just shakes his head and turns up the oldies station.
He's the one I wanna marry / But he don't wanna marry me
As Jack Greene croons in the background, I lean my head against the warm window and stare off into the forest. When I first arrived in Forks I hated how green everything was, but now I find myself admiring the simple beauty of the lush forest. As Charlie drives, I feel myself drifting off to sleep, lulled into peace by the comforting sounds of the cruiser driving down the old paved roads and Charlie joining in with the songs that crackle out of the ancient speakers.
"Bella, baby, what are you doing?" I whip around in surprise at the warm voice. Suddenly I am swept into two large, warm arms and I can feel kisses being placed on my head. "I didn't expect you home for a few more hours."
"Home?" I ask softly, afraid that speaking any louder would make all of this vanish. Jake is here and he is happy and this is too precious for me to risk messing up. I step back, and hesitantly look up at him. He's smiling that megawatt smile and seems so happy in this moment.
"Yeah Bells, home. Our house? The one you decided on the spot that we just had to have? That I've spent the last 3 years renovating because of some TV show you watched after our daughter was born? Home." He's looking at me as if I've lost my mind and I'm thinking that maybe I have. This has to be a dream and it's the most painful dream of all. None of this is real, he ran away from me. We don't have a home, I don't even have him.
"Uh, yeah, sorry Jake. I'm just not feeling well. It was a long day." I figure that's close enough to the truth that dream Jacob won't realize I have no idea what's going on. "I'm going to go lay down, is that okay?"
"Of course honey, though I'm not sure the kids will agree." His words are tearing me apart and I'm gasping as the ache in my chest suddenly throbs.
I awake with a start, fresh tears running down my face. I scrub my hands over my face, groaning as I lean back against the seat. I ignore Charlie's sad glance my direction and roll the window down for some fresh air.
"So, you want to talk about it kiddo?" Charlie asks.
"Not really much to talk about Dad. I realized today that I've never stopped loving Jake and I was just going through the motions with Edward because…..ah I don't even really know why. I guess we've been through so much, I figured I just owed it to him to do this." My shoulders hunch as the weight of what I've just admitted finally settles on them. I didn't love Edward, I felt obligated to him. I felt special, sure, but in reality I was just a human and he was a vampire. There was never any real chance for an actual relationship there. "But seeing Jake made me realize how unhappy I was and I just couldn't do it anymore."
"I can understand that Bells. You're just a kid, he was your first real relationship, and lord knows the two of you have been through the ringer. For what its worth, I think you made the right choice. No sense in getting married if you don't feel it in your bones."
"Thanks Dad."
The cruiser makes a slight turn and for the first time I realize we've been heading towards the Rez.
I've got on my dress now, welcoming the guests now / I could try to find him get it off my chest now
Charlie pulls the cruiser up to a stop in Billy's driveway, turning the ignition before turning to look at me.
"Now listen Bella, I know you think I'm just a silly old man who doesn't know much about what's going on with his little girl, but I've got a few things to say. Now any person who comes within 100 feet of you and Jake can tell you've got feelin's for each other, heaven knows how you two have been so oblivious for so long. But just feelin' for each other ain't enough and you need to ask yourself what you want outta life. Jake ain't Edward and Edward ain't Jake. I can't say I was real thrilled about you hitchin yourself to a cold one like that -" He's chuckling at the shock on my face. "Though you got that part past me did ya? I've been best friends with people on this Rez my whole life, you think I don't realize there's something different about these giant boys with barely harnessed tempers? Now where was I? Oh yes, you can't be expecting Jake to have things all figured out and nice and neat like Edward. If you chose Jake things are going to be messy, he's just a kid himself, but he's loved you since he was just a boy and he'd make sure you knew just how much every chance he got. Life with Jake wouldn't always be sunshine and rainbows, but if I were a bettin' man I'd take the gamble that he would never let you weather a storm alone. If it were my choice, I'd drop you in his lap right now and go watch the game with Billy. But it's not up to me, it's up to you and I need you to think real hard before you say anything. So Bella, what do you want? Who do you want? What life do you want to live?"
I'm stunned as I stare at Charlie, though I'm not sure if it's over his powerful speech or his nonchalant admittance that he knew vampires were real and that the pack was a thing. I'd have to dig into that later, but for now I worked over his words.
"Dad, I – I don't want Jake to be Edward. When Edward left, I was gutted. I felt so empty and like I was never going to get through it. But then Jake showed up and he was the sun. He was so warm and happy, and just – there. I didn't even realize that he was pulling me out of my depression, until suddenly I was laughing and planning a future. If Alice had never come back, I wouldn't have given the Cullen's a second thought. Dad, if I could take back everything from the point until now, I would. I want Jake. I want my sunshine back. But it's too late, I've lost him. You heard Sam, he ran away and now no one can hear him. And how much do you know about the Rez kids anyway?" I look up to find Charlie smirking at me, with a final chuckle he opens his door and steps out.
"Enough to know when the rightful Alpha imprints on my daughter Bells. Now get outta the car, we gotta wolf to find." With that I'm sputtering and pushing myself out of the car.
"I-i-imprint? Dad what are you even talking about. I would know if Jake had imprinted on me?!"
"Would you? Or were you so wrapped up in saving Edwards life and then in this farce of a wedding to realize the ache that was slowly taking over your body when Jake wasn't around?" He turns to me, one eyebrow cocked questioningly.
"I, he, we, I mean, shit."
"Perfectly put." He says with a chuckle. Spinning on his heel he walks across the yard and into the house that I now recognize as Sam and Emily's. Still in shock I scramble up and follow him up the faded steps and through the creaky wooden door.
"Charlie, Bella, what can I do for you?" Emily asks warily. I'm sure she knew of my impending doom, I mean, wedding so her confusion is understandable.
"Sorry to bother you Emily, but I was hoping Sam was here and you and he could help talk some sense into this daughter of mine so she can work on getting that imprint of hers back." Charlie is apparently no longer pretending he knows nothing of the pack and the surprise on Emily's face almost makes me laugh. Almost.
"Um, Charlie, I'm not sure what you're talking about...um, Sam called a bit ago and said he's be back soon if you'd like to wait." She's suddenly nervous, I'm sure she's worried that having the former bride-to-be of her husband's mortal enemy isn't exactly the best thing to have right now. Especially now that the Chief of Police for Forks seems to know far more than he's supposed to. "Please have a seat, let me get you a drink."
Charlie grunts and pulls out a chair, declining her offer but asking her for a soda for me. I'm still unsure exactly what is going on here and the pull that I'm feeling in my chest is getting stronger. Something is definitely going on and being on the Rez helps me feel more at ease. I pull out a chair next to Charlie and thank Emily as she sets the soda in front of me. I begin to ask how she's been when the door slams open and suddenly Sam's hulking figure is standing in the door.
"Bella, Charlie, not to be rude but what's going on here?" He pulls Emily behind him and glances between Charlie and I.
"Now Sam, I know that a lot has happened but there's no need to hide Emily. I'm not threat to your imprint and Bella here is starting to feel the pull from Jake being gone." Sam's jaw drops as Charlie leans back in his chair. I pinch myself under the table, there's no way any of this is real and I think maybe I had bad whiskey earlier. Or maybe this is a dream, that's it. I must have eaten too close to bed time and all of this is one really long, really odd dream. I'll wake up soon and it'll be the morning of my wedding. My internal fight is interrupted by Sam dropping to his knees in front of me.
"Bella," He pulls my chin up so I'm looking him in the eyes. "Is Charlie right? Are you starting to feel the pull in your chest from Jake?" His question makes me rub my chest, trying to soothe the ache that seems to be growing.
"I don't know what's going on Sam, I think it's just been a long day." He and Charlie share a knowing glance over my shoulder. I roll my eyes and try to stand up.
Sam pushes me back down in my seat and sighs deeply. "I was hoping he had told you the truth this morning and that's what all of this was about. But the idiotic pup must still think that you want to marry the leech. The ache your feeling is the imprint, it knows you're both in distress so it's trying to bring you together. I need you to trust me Bella, do you?" I nod slowly, unsure of what else to do. "Good, now I need to close your eyes and focus on Jake for me. Can you do that? Good. Just keep thinking about Jake."
With my eyes closed and Sam's warm hands resting on my shoulders I can almost imagine that it's Jake in front of me. With a deep breath I begin to focus on thoughts of Jake, kaleidoscopes of memories flashing before my eyes. Our first kiss on First Beach, our first bonfire, our first dance at Homecoming, cooking dinner for Charlie one Friday night. Faster and faster they are spinning through my mind and suddenly a booming "MINE" echoes across my mind. With a gasp I open my eyes and look at Sam. "W-w-what was that?!"
Before he can answer there's a long sorrowful howl that fills the air. Without asking I realize it's Jake, my Jake, and he's in pain. I'm up and running out the door without a second thought, out and down the porch steps, across the lawn, and I'm scrambling into the woods. A large russet wolf stands just inside the tree line, and I'm running towards it.
He won't wanna mess it up, so he'll wish me the best luck
As I launch myself at the large animal, I'm met with a strong chest and warm arms. He picks me up and pulls me into his chest.
"Bells, what are you doing here? You, you were getting married?" He looks wounded at the word but doesn't let me go, he's pressing kisses to my hair and holding me tightly. My legs are wrapped around his waist as I try to lean back and look into his eyes.
"Jacob Black, you just ran out. You. Left. me. Again actually." I'm hitting him with each word, my sorrow peeling away to anger as I realize that he didn't tell me the truth. "What is this about being my imprint too? What the heck?!"
He's frozen as he stares down at me, too many emotions are jumping across his face for me to decipher what he's feeling. I stare into those deep pools of brown, and finally I can't take it anymore. "Jake, please tell me what is going on."
"Who told you." It's so low I can barely hear it, but I can feel the growls that are beginning to shake his body. "Who. Told. You." He's angry now, though I can't tell if it's at me or not.
"Charlie, actually." His head snaps to me and then to Charlie who has climbed up the bank and is watching us now. "Charlie apparently knows all about the pack and the Cullen's and he's the one that said I'm the rightful Alpha's imprint, Jake. Now, can you please tell me what's going on?"
Leaning down he places me back on my own feet, and runs his hand through his hair. He's cut it again, I imagine because he's spent so much time as a wolf on the run. Long hair would be hard to take care of in the Canadian wilderness. I reach for his hand but he gently pushes me away. Turning, he motions for me to follow him down a slim path. In a few strides we are exiting the forest and walking up the back porch of a home I'm not familiar with. As we reach the door, he pulls a key from a hidden spot and opens the door.
"Sorry, I haven't been here in awhile, so I'm not sure if there's anything to drink. Let's sit down and talk Bells." He leads me down a short hallway to an open concept kitchen. The large island, double oven, and marble counter tops are breathtaking, but before I can appreciate them I look at the table that takes up a large portion of the dining room. It's obviously hand made, but the details seem to never end. At first glance it's just an overly large wooden table, live edge maple with matching chairs. But as I get closer I realize that there are carvings around the legs and base of the table. Wolves. Someone has carved the wolf pack into the table, a full scene is carved into the base of the table – a wolf, yes, but something more. A family it looks like. A grunt draws my attention up and I see Jake sitting down at the head of the table, motioning for me to sit. His face is guarded, and I'm not sure why.
He motions to the glass of water in front of my seat and clears his throat. "Sorry, that's about all I have right now. As I said, I haven't been around much and there's no sense in letting good food go to waste." I suddenly realize this is his house, this is his table, this must be where he lives now. Before I can ask him anything he's pulling his hands through his hair and looking at me with dark eyes. "So, Charlie huh? Didn't see that one coming, I guess he wouldn't be affected by Sam's Alpha Order. So, uh, yeah, I mean – he's not wrong." He says with a shrug.
I shoot upright at how uneasy he sounds, "What do you mean he's not wrong? When could you have possibly imprinted on me Jake? How could I not know?" I flinch at how desperate I sound.
"You didn't know because I didn't tell you. Remember the day you slapped Paul?" I scoff, how could I forget. "Ha, yeah, well it was shortly after that, when I met you at Emily's after I phased back. I was going to tell you, I even had it all planned out. You were around enough at that time it didn't matter that you didn't know. The imprint was happy because you were close and you were happy with just me. No freaky werewolf stuff. Then Alice Cullen came back and you were running to go save him. No hesitation, no second thought about me, you just packed up and left. Then you come back and suddenly I never see you anymore. I stayed in the woods around your house so the imprint wouldn't hurt you, but you'd made your choice. You didn't want me, you didn't choose me, so I stayed away."
So I'm in my white shoes, white dress while he's in the back
"And then you showed up today? Why?" The words feel too big for my throat. I'm choking at pain I can see in his eyes.
"Because you needed me to. I'm whatever you want Bella, I'm whatever you need me to be." He spits out bitterly. "And today you needed me to be there as you married your blood sucking leech. The imprint wouldn't let me refuse you, so I turned back from Canada and ran here in time to see you walk out with Charlie. I was hoping you wouldn't see me. That I could sit in the back, fulfill the imprint, and be on the run before you even realized I was there. Then you had to go and see me there and break down and I just, I couldn't handle it. The pain of seeing you with him was too much and I wolfed out." He finishes with a loud slam to the table. He pushes himself up and out of his chair and paces to the living room and back. Even in his anger, he's beautiful. Stealthy as a jungle cat he seems to glide above the floor, his muscles jumping under his skin. He's breathtaking in this moment, and I feel guilty for feeling that in this moment. "Why are you here Bella?"
His question catches me off guard, and I glance at his retreating back before I begin to answer. "I'm here for you Jake." His hollow chuckle makes me pause, "I'm here because as soon as I saw you I realized that Edward wasn't the one for me. That he wasn't who I was meant to be with." I slowly get up and approach him, tentatively reaching out to grab his arm. "When I ran away, it wasn't from you. It was from the ceremony, from him. I hid in a closet and in that moment I saw a future with you. With babies and holidays and growing old together. I saw you Jake, and I knew I couldn't take one more step towards him." I slide my hand down his arm and lace our fingers together, gently I tug and force him to face me. "You can't hide from me Jake, I. Saw. You. And I want you, I wants us."
Taking a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask / We'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees
He turns to me, disbelief in his eyes. I reach up and card my fingers through the hair at his neck, pulling gently I bring him down to me and kiss him gently on the forehead. "I pick you Jake, however you want me, however you'll have me, I'm here to stay." Taking a step back, I turn to leave. My chest is heaving with the effort it takes to move away from him, when a warm hand wraps around my wrist.
"D'ya mean it?" I haven't seen him look so young in so long, in this moment he looks every bit of his 16 years, and my heart breaks with the fear in his eyes. "Do you really chose me, chose this? I can't give you a mansion Bella, I can't give you fancy cars and extended vacation to tropical climates. I can't be what he is, I'll never be that kind of rich." He's guarded now, prepared for my refusal. I can see his shoulders tense and my chest aches with his unspoken fears.
"Of course I mean it, you silly boy. I love you Jacob Black. Just you. I don't need any of those things to be happy, I just need you." I stand on my tiptoes to kiss him full on the mouth and for one full beat of my heart he's frozen. In the next he's picking me up and spinning me in circles. Kissing me full on the lips I can feel his grin and the laughter in his chest. I can't help but feel elated, the happiness he's feeling hitting me tenfold as the events of today finally slip to the back of my mind. He's suddenly bolting out the door and before he hits the bottom step he's phased. With a long howl, he's greeted by a large black wolf who yips in response. The trees start to sway as more wolves slowly slink out behind Sam, their eyes cautious but excitement to see what is going on winning out. Jake's wolf comes bounding up to me and his nose is in my hair. With a giggle I push his large snout away and I'm repaid with a sloppy, wet tongue licking from my chin to my hair. I sputter and swat him away. He prances towards the rest of the pack and with a nip to Sam's legs he leads them off. I can't speak wolf, but they seem to be going out for a run.
"That looks like one happy wolf." I shake my head to clear my thoughts, and look at Charlie.
"Yeah, I told him. I told him that I pick him. I love him Dad, and I think I always have." With a wide grin, Charlie grips my shoulders and leads me back into the house.
"I know kiddo, I know."
He's the one I wanna marry, yeah he's the one I wanna marry.
& I'm going to marry him.
-End-