What to Say to You

Like any five-year-old, Ben asked a lot of questions that his parents had trouble answering. Sometimes, they could look the answers up on the holonet, when his questions were along the lines of, "How much can a Wookiee carry?" or, "What is Mandalorian armour made of?" or, "How long does it take to get to Tatooine without lightspeed?"

For some of his questions, Han and Leia just couldn't come up with answers that seemed good enough. These were questions like, "Why doesn't Daddy have the Force?" or, "What makes someone go bad like the Empire baddies?"

And some of them, they didn't really want to answer, either because Ben was too young, or they weren't ready themselves. Questions like, "How did that lady get a baby in her tummy?" or, "Mama what are those scars on your back from?" or, "Daddy, did you ever shoot someone with your blaster and hurt them?"

Because of Ben's propensity for asking difficult questions, his mother and father had developed an extremely effective system for answering them. When Ben came out with one of these queries, the questioned parent would look around for the other one in a panic, they would excuse themselves, discuss the question in fierce whispers in another room, then emerge as a united front, fully prepared to face the enemy.

But when, over dinner one night, Ben carefully set his cutlery down beside his plate, looked between his parents and said, "Everyone at school has a Grandma and Grandpa, why don't I have any?", they found themselves with absolutely nothing to say to him.

Han had no frame of reference for this question, and was unsure how important it might be to Ben. He'd barely known his own parents, let alone their parents. So he looked to Leia, and found her looking even more panicked than he felt. She had countless fond memories of all four of her grandparents, but they'd perished on Alderaan with everyone else she'd ever known.

Ben bit his lip. "Do you need to go in your room to talk about it first?" He asked earnestly.

Han snorted and reached over the table to ruffle his hair. "I don't think so. I didn't have any grandparents when I was a kid either. It's just what happens sometimes," he shrugged.

"But…" Ben began. "Where are your Dad and Mama? Are they dead?"

"Ah…" Han said. "It's kinda tricky, kid. My Dad…" he glanced at Leia, and she gave him a small smile and took his hand under the table. "He didn't really want to be a Dad," he explained. "So he ah… didn't stay bein' my Dad for very long. I don't know what happened to him."

Ben chewed his lower lip, taking a few more bites of his food before looking up at Han again. "What about your Mama?"

Han sighed. "She died when I was real little. Even littler than you," he explained.

"I'm very big," Ben interjected.

"Right," Han chuckled."But I was little when she died. She got sick and then she was gone. Then my Dad went away too so I was on my own."

"Does it make you sad, Daddy?"

Han shrugged. "I guess I've never thought about it that much. I wish I didn't have to grow up on my own. And I miss my Ma. I wish she could have met you and your Mom."

Ben nodded and pushed his remaining dinner around his plate. Eventually, he put his fork back down and looked up at Leia. "Mommy… Is all your family gone?" He asked softly.

Han squeezed Leia's hand as she nodded. "All my family I grew up with is gone," she told him. "But I still have you and Daddy and Uncle Luke and Chewie."

"And…" he rubbed his eyes suddenly and took a shaky breath. "When I'm a grown-up will you and Daddy be gone?"

Leia took a slow breath, gripping Han's hand.

"We'll be here as long as you need us, big guy," Han said. "You don't need to worry. I hope I get to be a Grandpa to your little kids," he winked and Ben smiled, going back to his food and, in a topic change that gave his parents whiplash, starting talking in detail about the latest episode of his favourite holo show, Street Racers.

Leia looked over at Han while Ben chattered to them, and quickly leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Love you," she said quietly.

Han squeezed her hand and gave her a wink. He already knew.