MiracuCrack #PV3: It's All In The Phrasing
by DFC
(Timeline: Whenever.)
A quiet summer afternoon at the Agreste Mansion was a rare delight for Adrien, given how often his father packed his weekend schedule top-to-bottom. This particular afternoon, however... seemed just about perfect.
A glass of lemonade, a shady umbrella, a light breeze in the air... and he couldn't complain about the company, either.
Across the table from Adrien, a lovely young woman in a sundress was smiling at him, perhaps a little bit shyly. The Gorilla sat nearby, not from any perceived threat from Marinette but because he, too was enjoying the pleasant weather.
The conversation was light, friendly and free of nervousness... and there was no sign of the Flusternette that Adrien had previously witnessed at unpredictable intervals.
Maybe I don't need to keep questioning what she means to me, or what I mean to her, or what we WANT each other to mean, Adrien smiled. Maybe this is the way it should be. Just... BEING. Letting all of that work itself out in time.
A comment from Marinette made both of them laugh... and he couldn't help but enjoy the sparkle in her eyes as she giggled, her relaxation around him obvious, her contentment plain to see.
If I can make myself wait that long.
The Gorilla offered the two of them refills on their lemonade, while he was up and nearby; each declined. As he turned to return to his chair, Marinette gestured to him to draw his attention.
"...Sir," she asked, "May I ask you a dumb question? And I hope that this isn't inappropriate to ask."
He nodded, politely.
"For as long as I've known you, you've never said a word out loud," Marinette wondered. "You are obviously an intelligent, sophisticated man, so it's nothing having to do with that... is it all right if I ask you what happened?"
The big man stood still for a moment, sizing her up, his face impassive... then deferred to Adrien, with a meaningful glance.
"Well, it's your secret. If you want to show her... you can show her," Adrien told him. "It's up to you."
Marinette sat very still, worried about the metaphorical can of worms that she had just opened. "I... okay, if it's something that you're not comfortable sharing, please don't!" she gasped.
Ideas floated through her head. Some kind of... accident or injury, perhaps? Like, I don't know... somebody cut his tongue out while he was defending a client? Stabbed in the throat by an assassin? A brain injury that damaged the speech centers of his brain?
The Gorilla's small smile was somewhat reassuring. He gestured at her for her to watch closely, then walked over to the edge of the back porch, facing the large, empty lawn.
"It's not that he's not comfortable with this," Adrien whispered, moving beside her. "It's just that it's very, very... unusual... well, you'll see."
"I'll hear, not see, I would assume," Marinette ventured... then raised an eyebrow at Adrien's knowing grin. "What... what do I not know about here?" she wondered, warily.
"Just watch him," chuckled Adrien.
Drawing a deep breath, the Gorilla stood very still... stretched both arms out wide... and opened his mouth.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhh," he intoned, at a steady volume.
Marinette felt intense vibrations all around her, as if she was standing next to the speakers at a Jagged Stone concert. Her teeth in her mouth felt like they were rattling against each other.
"A-a-a-adr-r-r-ri-i-i-en," she chattered. "Wh-h-ha-a-at is-s-s-s-s..."
Adrien put a finger to his mouth in a shushing gesture, gripping the table firmly with his other hand.
Far across the lawn, in a small garden, a white marble fountain bubbled quietly...
...until the cherub statue atop it abruptly exploded.
The earthquake sensation vanished once the Gorilla's mouth closed. He turned and gestured to Marinette, as if saying, See?
"Tell me... that I did not just witness that," gasped Marinette. "You have sonic powers?"
"Not... exactly," Adrien interjected. "Show her the other ones, too."
The Gorilla frowned at Adrien's request.
"I'll talk to Father, I promise!" handwaved Adrien. "I'll tell him that I asked you to. But she ought to see this."
Marinette stared at Adrien. "There's more?" she wondered.
"Just watch," he grinned.
Once more, the Gorilla stood at the end of the porch, facing the well-mowed lawn.
He opened his mouth, and a prolonged "Hiiiiiiiiii" sound bellowed forth...
...along with a geyser of what looked to Marinette like blood, shooting out as if the Gorilla had a firehose hidden in his throat.
"What the heck?" Marinette exclaimed, watching the liquid cannon's output arc high, standing out brightly against the blue afternoon sky.
"Oh, don't worry," Adrien noted. "That's not his blood."
"That's... good? But that's hardly the point, is it?" she boggled. "How is that even possible?"
"The next one is even better," said Adrien, as the Gorilla closed his mouth and prepared the next demonstration.
When his mouth reopened, the sound changed to more of a "Yesssssssss"...
...accompanied by a steady stream of small white mice pouring out of his mouth. Hundreds, perhaps thousands of them scattered as they hit the ground, seeking cover.
Marinette froze in place, her limits to accepting the reality around her having been exceeded.
The Gorilla closed his mouth for the third time. Striding over to Marinette, he gave a brief "Ta-dah!" hand gesture, took a small bow, and returned to his table with a satisfied smile.
"Th-thank you," gasped Marinette, who then turned to Adrien. "You've seen that before?"
"Certainly."
"Would you care to explain it to me?" she insisted.
"From what I understand of what he's told me," Adrien replied, "the story goes like this. If you're traveling through Europe, and you're passing through some of the very small countries there, and you're looking for a good time, and you wander some dark streets at night, and you encounter an ancient woman who tells you that she can tell your future in return for one small favor..."
"Uh-huh..."
"And she takes you to her secluded, mysterious lair, and through her murky magical powers, she exposes the secrets of the universe to you... and then she reveals that the 'favor' is a night of unbridled passion and sensuality, and the mere thought of even seeing her unclothed turns your stomach, and you decide that you need to flip the table over and make a run for it..."
"Y-yeah?"
"...don't do that," declared Adrien. "Really, really, really don't do that."
Marinette leaned back in her chair, processing all of that, wondering if this was some sort of elaborate joke or if it could possibly have some reality to it.
From above, she heard the sound of an upstairs window opening.
"Would someone please explain to me," a shouting Gabriel Agreste exclaimed, "why the lawn which I pay landscapers a fortune to maintain is full of blood and mice for the third time this month?"