Our story begins in Cardiff City, a spicy cesspool of crime and villainy. While Ace Savvy and the Full House gang have been doing their best to keep their hometown safe, crime never sleeps. In this harrowing tale, two vastly different heroes shall find themselves joining forces to combat a gang of criminals gone wild.
"How's the search coming for a new hideout?" Asked a domino mask clad hero as he ran across high rise rooftops.
"Harder than you'd expect," A feminine voice replied over walkie talkie. "Although then again, finding another hidden alcove beneath a waterfall was bound to be like finding hay in a needlestack."
"I still can't believe those stupid bricks for brains had the audacity to try framing me," Sheer Heart Attack growled. "And don't even get me started on their attempt to kidnap you."
"Speaking of which," His partner replied with a hearty laugh, "Do you think I should send them some more flowers?"
"Archer, you stole all of their bones," Heart Attack pointed out, "I think they're entitled to at least a box of chocolates every week."
"By the way," Archer said, "did you know that villains actually have health insurance?"
"Vitriol Vindications, right?" Heart Attack asked.
"How did you know?" Archer asked.
"Well thanks to that pain in the neck, Ace, I've gotten at least one phone call a month from them trying to convince me to sign up with them," Heart Attack revealed.
"Why can't he be more calm and mellow like Follow Suit?" Archer bemoaned.
"I know right!" Heart Attack exclaimed. "Anyway, I'll be back home soon. Love you sweetie."
"Love you too," Archer said, "see you when you get home."
"Was that the missus?" Asked a familiar sounding voice.
Sheer Heart Attack turned around to find himself face to face with The Joker of the Full House Gang. Although both of them were associated with Ace Savvy to varying degrees, the two of them rarely ever directly crossed paths with each other. In fact, if both of them were being honest, this was probably the first time either of them had been face to face with one another for longer than a minute.
"I didn't take you to be the married family man type," Joker commented with a giggle.
"Joker…" Heart Attack said.
"Heart Attack," Joker responded.
"Didn't expect to see you around these parts," Heart Attack told her.
"Hey, the Diamond Dogs are stealing my schtick. The nerve of them," Joker defended herself, "I've been thinking about filing for copyright infringement."
"Nice to know that I'm not the only one having problems with the Diamond Dogs," Heart Attack said.
"Oh," Joker said, asking "and what did they do to you bomberman?"
"Oh, you know," Heart Attack said before going down the list, "tried to kidnap Archer (poor dudes are still in the hospital), framed me for robbery and then raided and blew up my hideout. So yeah, they're kinda on my hit list."
"What's with those diamond dogs thinking they can just set us up for crimes we didn't do?" Joker remarked.
"Not to mention they're like cockroaches," Heart Attack added, "Every time you lock up one of 'em, another one steps up to take their place."
"Maybe someone should go after their leader, Red Jack," Joker suggested, wiggling her eyebrows at Heart Attack.
"You know, I never understood why a gang called the diamond dogs was run by a guy named Red Jack," Heart Attack remarked, "but I guess I shouldn't expect logic from a group of nobodies that had the bad idea to piss me off."
"So what do you say to a partnership, Heart Attack?" Joker asked, offering her hand to Sheer Heart Attack. "Just to deal with this mutual annoyance?"
"I'm surprised you'd wanna team with me," Heart Attack seemed surprised, "The rest of your team save Strong and Follow suit, seems to think I'm a menace."
"Don't worry," Joker said with a laugh before half jokingly telling Heart Attack, "I know you're just a misunderstood jerk with a heart of gold, aren't ya?"
"Well now I see why they call you Joker," Heart Attack said with a smirk.
"Still didn't answer my proposal," Joker said teasingly.
"Are you sure your pal Ace would approve?" Heart Attack snarked.
"Pfft, who gives a flip about what Ace has to say?" Joker scoffed, "I know you two don't like each other, but I'm an independent hero. I don't answer to anybody."
"I always did like you and your style, Joker," Heart Attack said with a smile.
"Thanks," Joker replied, jokingly saying "You're pretty cute yourself, but I'm taken."
"So am I," Heart Attack replied.
"So are you in or out?" Joker asked.
"I'm in," Heart Attack said immediately.
"The Diamond Dogs better watch their backs," Joker declared, "The unconventional team of The Joker and the Sheer Heart Attack are sure to deal them a crushing defeat."
A couple of hours later, both Joker and Sheer Heart Attack found themselves performing a stake out at a fan favorite diner in their civilian identities. So far, nothing had turned up, but with this being Cardiff City, both heroes knew it was only a matter of time before action came knocking.
"So I've been meaning to ask…" Joker said.
"Hmm?" Heart Attack asked as he sipped from a cup of tea.
"Why the whole bomb motif?" Joker ask.
"I could ask why you chose the harlequin motif?" Heart Attack retorted.
"Hey, I asked you first," Joker argued.
"If I could defend myself," Heart Attack said, "bombs aren't my only theme. The idea of my identity is that I can sneak up on you and blindside you at any time and cause critical damage… just like a heart attack."
"Okay, that's fair enough," Joker admitted.
"I mean," Heart Attack said, "seriously, I use invisibility cloaks, rocket boots, grappling hooks, gliders."
"Guess you're not a one trick pony after all," Joker smirked at him, sipping from a cup of coffee.
"Don't let that fool Ace deceive you," Heart Attack told her, "I always have more than one trick up my sleeve."
"What's your beef with Ace Savvy anyway?" Joker questioned.
"Let me just start out by saying that he started it when he tried getting me thrown in jail," Heart Attack said, explaining, "He thinks that just because my methods are unorthodox and unlike his own that I'm just as bad as the rest of the criminals in this wretched hive. No, just because I'm not a wide eyed man in a cape like you doesn't mean I want to watch the world burn. I just have a different way of approaching things."
"I get that," Joker nodded in understanding.
"How's the old saying go," Heart Attack said, "there's more than one way to make an omelette. There's more than one way to keep this city safe."
"That's the funny thing about life," Joker agreed, "There's no one right way to live it."
"Finally, someone who gets it!" Heart Attack exclaimed, taking another sip of tea as Joker let out a hearty laugh, "Although now it's your turn to answer my question: why'd you choose a clown theme?"
"My answer isn't as complex as yours…" Joker admitted, smiling and saying "I just think that the world could use a little more laughter. A little more of a reason to smile."
Heart Attack smiled and said "Well I can't argue with that." before looking over Joker's shoulder.
"What is it?" Joker asked.
"Don't look now," he replied, "but I spot two mutts scraping their butt on the floor."
"Huh, well that didn't take long," Joker said snidely.
The first Diamond Dog walked to the center of the restaurant and fired a gun into the air.
"Alright, everybody on the ground! This is a robbery."
The patrons screamed and hit the ground, save SHA and Joker, who continued with their conversation.
"Now ladies and gentlemen, we can all work together and get on with our night," his partner said.
"So what that means is that you guys hand over your wallets, phones and especially your jewels and we'll be on our way," the first Dog said.
"Time to get some answers," Heart Attack whispered to Joker, who nodded her head in agreement.
"Hey, you two!" The first Diamond Dog yelled at the duo as he and his partner walked around taking the other customers' belongings. "Didn't you hear us?! We said everyone on the ground!"
Joker and Heart Attack ignored them, acting as if they couldn't hear them.
"Hey, are you two deaf or something?!" Diamond Dog 2 barked as he and his partner walked over to the disguised heroes.
He and the first Diamond Dog forcefully grabbed Joker and SHA by their shoulders, unwittingly making one of the biggest mistakes of their lives.
"Game over for you two!" Joker yelled before she and Heart Attack wrenched the robbers' arms behind their backs, disarming them.
Once they were disarmed, Joker and Sheer Heart Attack grabbed the men by the back of their heads and rammed their skulls together, knocking them out cold.
"Nighty night for you two," Heart Attack said, looking down at the two criminals.
"It's okay everyone," Joker said, pulling out a police badge and flashing it to the other patrons to calm them down, "my partner and I will take it from here."
"You're a cop?" Heart Attack asked in a hushed whisper as the patrons got ahold of themselves.
"No," Joker replied, "but how else are we going to get them alone for ourselves?"
"Deceitful tactics…" Heart Attack said with a hint of pride, "I like it."
"You're not the only one willing to play a little dirty," Joker told him, whispering "Now come on, I know a nice little warehouse we can take these two to to get some answers out of them."
"I'm right behind you," Heart Attack said, he and Joker handcuffing the two criminals and taking them away.
As the two Diamond Dogs started slowly coming to, they could hear the voices of Sheer Heart Attack and Joker talking about what they were going to do next.
"So how do you go about interrogating criminals?" Joker asked Heart Attack, asking in a tongue in cheek tone, "Dangle them by their balls from the ledge of a skyscraper?"
"Nah…" Heart Attack replied, explaining "too cliché. I don't care what that Batman prick says, you have to make your interrogation believable to get answers. Nobody ever believes that a hero would actually let them drop to their death."
"Not everyone thinks you're a hero," Joker reminded him.
"I'm well aware of that fact," Heart Attack conceded, "but I still have a strict moral code that I adhere to." Heart Attack then asked "What about you? How do you get answers?"
"Usually I use my trusty crowbar," Joker answered.
"You beat them into giving you answers?"
"Oh my naive little Heart Attack," Joker said with a smirk as she pulled out the aforementioned crowbar, "there's more than one way to interrogate someone with a crowbar. Methods that you couldn't even begin to imagine."
"Sounds lovely," Heart Attack said sincerely, suggesting, "Perhaps we should trade techniques."
"I mean, I also use tickle torture," Joker said, "It's surprisingly more effective than you think."
"Don't gotta tell me," Heart Attack replied, "I already know it's hella effective."
"Ugh… where am I?" The first Diamond Dog groaned before he tried putting his hand to his head, only to find that he was securely handcuffed to a chair.
"What the heck happened, man?" Diamond Dog 2 asked as he came to.
"Oh good," Heart Attack said ominously, "you're awake."
"We have so many questions to ask you," Joker said with an evil smile.
"Ha!" Diamond Dog 2 scoffed, "Sheer Heart Attack?! Joker?! What kind of hodgepodge team is this?!"
"What, was your daddy Ace unable to make it?!" His partner teased.
"Cute," Heart Attack deadpanned, his monotone masking his sheer contempt and fury.
"Now gentleman, we don't wanna waste your time," Joker said, throwing the crooks' words from earlier back at them, "We can all work together and get on with our night."
"Ha!" Diamond Dog 1 remained defiant, "What're ya gonna do? Tickle us?"
"Shove your crowbar up our ass?" Diamond Dog 2 asked incredulously.
"Throw us into a crocodile pit?" Diamond Dog 1 joked.
The two crooks let out a laugh, only for Sheer Heart Attack and Joker to join in.
"Wait, why are you laughing?" DD1 asked in confusion.
"You think you're the first crooks to play tough guy?" Joker asked them.
"You aren't the first thugs to act big and fail…" Heart Attack warned them.
"And you won't be the last," Joker assured them before telling her partner, "Heart Attack, be a dear and put these two in separate corners."
"It'd be my pleasure," Heart Attack told her, grabbing Diamond Dog 2 by his collar, dragging him out of the room and into another, shutting the door behind him.
"Oooh, you're going to interrogate us separately," DD1 continued to play brave, "Scary."
"Don't be silly," Joker said, a Cheshire Cat grin on her face, "Me and Heart Attack just don't want anyone stopping us from getting… intimate."
"Wait, you two are…?" DD1 questioned.
"What?! No!" Joker quickly clarified, "I meant we're just getting your partner out of the way so that it's just the three of us."
"Are you proposing a ménage á trois?" Diamond Dog 1 asked after a pause, still utterly missing the point.
"Good grief…" Heart Attack said as he re-entered the room, "you really are an idiot."
"That's an understatement," Joker muttered in agreement.
"So now that we have you all alone, let's talk," Heart Attack said to the thug.
"About what?" DD1 asked.
"Take us to your leader," Joker said, pretending to be an alien.
"What?" DD1 asked in confusion.
"We wanna know where Red Jack is hiding," Heart Attack told him.
"Big Red?" DD1 asked before growing more defiant, "No way I'm telling you where he is! You think my loyalty can be so easily compromised?"
"Yes," Joker answered deadpan.
"Ha! I'd rather die than tell you where Big Red is hiding," DD1 continued to refuse.
"We were hoping you'd say that," Heart Attack smirked before pulling out a small time bomb with a ticking digital timer and placing it in the middle of the room, right in front of Diamond Dog 1.
"You think I'll fall for your bluff?" DD1 huffed, "There's no way you'll stay here and get blown to smithereens with me!"
"Who said we were sticking around?" Joker asked as she and Heart Attack left the room.
"Wait what?!"
"Why do you think we separated you and your partner?" Heart Attack asked.
"Wait!" DD1 protested. "You can't do this to me!"
"Hey, you said you'd rather die than tell us so we're just going to give you your wish," Joker argued before she closed the door behind her and Heart Attack.
"Hey hey, hey!" DD1 called out to them, "Get back here! Wait! Please don't!"
Once she and Heart Attack were in the other room with the second Diamond Dog, Joker walked up to him and said, "Now, your buddy didn't wanna play ball so he's about to meet an explosive end!"
"Let's see if you wanna play things differently," Heart Attack said.
"Phil! No!" DD2 called out to his partner, "That's my brother in law you son of a bitch!"
"Such a shame," Joker said sarcastically, "What will you tell his widow?"
"Wha-Wha?" DD2 stammered.
"You can save him of course," Heart Attack pointed out, "All you have to do is tell us where Red Jack is hiding."
"Please!" DD1 screamed from the other room, "Turn it off! Turn it off!"
"He sounds desperate Heart Attack," Joker said, "what do you say? Should we let him out?"
"That depends…" Heart Attack replied before yelling into the other room "Hey mutt, are you ready to tell us where your gang leader is?"
"NO!" DD1 still refused.
"Sorry then, there's nothing we can do," Joker yelled back at him before turning to DD2 and saying "Seesh, your brother sure is the stubborn one. Where does he get it from?"
"So… are you willing to talk?" Heart Attack asked.
"I-I-I…"
"Wait, do you hear that?" Heart Attack asked, he and Joker going quiet so that the second Diamond Dog could hear the digital beeping of the time bomb.
"Boy oh boy, I'd hate to have to be the janitor that has to clean this mess up!" Joker said gleefully.
The bomb continues to beep as the two thugs grow anxious.
"Okay, this may be a bit personal, but do you and Archer…?" Joker asked, leaving her question incomplete to remain modest.
"Do we what?" Sheer Heart Attack asked.
"Well you mentioned Batman earlier," Joker pointed out, "and you know how heroes don't…" she said, once again trailing off so that Heart Attack would get the hint.
"Oh that!" Heart Attack said, catching on to Joker's insinuation, "Of course I do that! I'd have to be a bloody idiot not to. That's the key to a healthy relationship."
"Are you two insane?!" DD2 snapped, "You're about to kill a man and you're talking about relationship advice?!"
"Well yeah," Joker replied, "This stuff is important."
"Judging by the sound of that timer, I'm guessing your bro only has one minute left before he gets blown sky high," Heart Attack alerted the criminals.
"Okay okay! I'll talk!" Both Diamond Dogs gave in.
"Just don't kill Phil!" Diamond Dog 2 pleaded.
"And there it is," Joker smiled with triumph.
"So Phil," Heart Attack said, walking over and into the other room, "how's that loyalty to Red Jack paying off?"
"Here's at the quarry!" DD1 blurted out, "That's where we meet up!"
"Because you know, that's where you extract diamonds and jewels and metals and stuff?!" DD2 added on.
"From a quarry!"
"Tautology," Heart Attack pointed out to the two of them.
"Now you're not lying to us are you?" Joker asked them, "Because there's punishment for that."
"It's the truth, we swear!" DD2 swore.
"It better be," Heart Attack said, he and Joker walking into the other room to retrieve DD1 with only 10 seconds left on the clock.
"Well don't just stand there!" DD1 demanded. "Get me out of here!"
"Contain the calamity that is your mammaries," Joker joked.
Heart Attack grabbed the chair DD1 was handcuffed as the bomb ticked down 5… 4… 3… 2… 1
DD1 screamed like a girl as the "bomb" went off, releasing a burst of sparkles.
"Gotcha," Heart Attack smirked as he and Joker dragged DD1 into the other room and closed the door behind them.
"Now Heart Attack and I are going to go pay your friend(s) a visit," Joker told them, "Be a couple of good little boys and stay put."
"You know, Joker," Heart Attack said, "We make a surprisingly good team."
"I know right!" Joker exclaimed as she and Heart Attack walked away, "By the way, that was a cool idea tricking them with the fake bomb."
"Fake?" Heart Attack replied before a loud explosion was heard in the other room that trembled the ground.
Joker turned around to face the two Diamond Dogs and asked "Now are you sure you're telling the truth?"
The two Diamond Dogs rapidly nodded their heads.
"Hey, when you come back, can you bring a pair of underwear and pants?" DD2 asked.
"Make that two please," DD1 said.
Joker and Heart Attack groaned and facepalmed before closing the warehouse door behind them.
"So what do we hope to accomplish by capturing Red Jack?" Joker asked as she rode her customized flying hoverboard, "Someone else is just going to take his place after he's taken down."
"True," Heart Attack admitted, flying with his rocket boots, "but the Dogs are nothing but two bit punk thugs. There's no way either them or Jack had the bright idea to try framing either of us for one of their crimes."
"So you're suggesting that there's someone else pulling the strings?" Joker asked.
"Yep," Heart Attack confirmed, "I mean, do you really think they chose to impersonate us at random?"
"Now that you mention it, we do both have the same "wild card" thing going on," Joker mentioned.
"Exactly," Heart Attack confirmed, "which is why we'd be more believable scapegoats than any of our partners. I mean, could you imagine if they imitated someone like The Eleven of Cards?"
Joker laughed and said "Eleven's so good hearted that if she did try to rob anybody, they'd probably walk away with more money than they had before."
"I can believe that," Heart Attack said, "The only question I have is why did they go through the trouble of trying to frame us."
"Didn't you mention that the Dogs tried to kidnap Archer and blew up you two's hideout?" Joker asked.
"Mmhmm," Heart Attack nodded.
"I'm starting to think that they weren't just trying to frame us," Joker said, "they were legit trying to take our place."
"That is a possibility," Heart Attack acknowledged.
When two heroes arrived at the Quarry, they were unsurprised to find that it was crawling with Diamond Dogs, most of them doing grunt work such as extracting limestone and other minerals. Staying out of sight, the two heroes did a quick analysis.
"I counted about 50, how about you?" Joker asked.
"Fifty is my estimate too," Heart Attack replied, "although we can't be certain that there aren't more of them hiding somewhere."
"I bet I can tell you where Jack's hiding though," Jokersaid, pointing to a shack situated at the base of the quarry near a large body of water. The shack for the most was unguarded, save for two bulky grunts standing outside the door.
"Quick, grab on to me," Heart Attack told Joker.
"Why?" Joker asked.
"So that I can use my suit's cloaking ability to make us both invisible," Heart Attack explained, "It'll make it easier for us to sneak past the other Dogs and get into the shack."
Joker nodded and grabbed onto Heart Attack before the two sneaked their way down through the quarry and to the shack. Rather than confront the two guards head on, Joker and Sheer Heart Attack elected to try sneaking in through a window. As they did so, they heard the notorious Red Jack talking with someone.
"I've gotta say, Mr. D'Arby," Red Jack said, "you sure do know how to speak my language."
"Tubalcain D'Arby?!" Joker and Sheer Heart Attack whispered in stereo with Joker saying "I should've figured that he had something to do with this."
"You and me both," Heart Attack whispered, "Ever since I declined his offer to act as minion, we've had bad blood."
"He's our team's archenemy," Joker said, rolling her eyes and adding "Not to mention a huge pain in the a-,"
"Don't get too comfortable just yet," D'Arby told Jack, "There's still a matter of other business to attend to."
"Such as…?" Jack asked as he played pool.
"Heart Attack and Joker are still alive for one," D'Arby pointed out, "For my ultimate goal to come to fruition, I need both of them six feet under so that I can move on to phase two of my plan."
"I don't see how your plan really has a chance," Jack admitted, "The people of Cardiff City saw right through the fake Joker and Heart Attack you had hold up that casino. Especially after Ace came to Joker's defense. These people aren't stupid enough to fall for silly paper thin disguises. And even if they were, they take Ace Savvy's word as gospel."
"I'm not paying you to think, Jack," D'Arby retorted, "I'm paying you to do what I tell you. Let me handle the backwater buffoons and their dedication to their heroes."
"You know, there are probably easier ways to turn Cardiff City against the Full House gang," Jack pointed out.
D'Arby groaned and said "Again, there you go with your unwanted suggestions. Let me handle all the details."
"Whatever," Jack shrugged, "As long as the money's good, I'll dance to whatever music you decide to play."
"That's what I like to hear," D'Arby said with a sickening smile.
"Now, you still plan on keeping up your end of the bargain, right?" Jack asked.
"Jack, I always keep my promises to those who prove useful to me," D'Arby answered, "You have my word that once I'm elected governor, you and your Dogs will have full reign over the city… provided you don't interfere in my business."
"Looks like you were right about the Dogs just being pawns," Joker said.
"I knew they were too stupid to think of this on their own," Heart Attack replied.
"I think now would be a good time to make our move," Joker suggested.
"I couldn't agree more," Heart Attack said.
With that said Joker and Sheer Heart Attack broke in through the window to confront the two villains.
"Sorry to rain on your parade, but the only thing you're going to be elected as is prison prom king!" Joker threatened D'Arby.
"Shit, what are you two doing here?!" Jack asked.
"You tried to slander our names, did you really think we were going to let that slide?" Heart Attack retorted.
"Well don't just stand there like a deer in the headlights," D'Arby yelled at Jack, "get them!"
"I seriously don't get paid enough for this," Red Jack muttered, squaring up for a fight.
Jack immediately rushed forward and made a grab at the heroes. Heart Attack and Joker were quick enough to jump over him with Joker delivering a kick to his back. D'Arby retaliated by throwing a barrage of his razor sharp playing cards while their backs were turned. Heart Attack quickly yanked Joker out of the way before bouncing off the wall and throwing an errant punch at D'Arby, who countered by hitting him with a pool cue. Heart Attack quickly rolled through and swept D'Arby's leg out from underneath him, only for Red Jack to shatter a vase over his head, temporarily taking him out of the fight and leaving Joker to fight both villains alone.
"Huh, how kind of the two of you to come straight to us," Red Jack said to Joker, "now we can kill you both right here and now and I can collect my paycheck."
"And with no one to back you up, it's only a matter of time before-," D'Arby said before being shut up when Joker's heel met his chin.
Joker pulled out her crowbar and was about to smash D'Arby over the head with it before Jack intercepted her, kicking her directly in the chest as he picked up the discarded pool cue and prepared to do battle. The two of them had a makeshift sword fight with their respective melee weapons before Joker decided to quit playing around and broke Jack's cue in half with her crowbar. Red Jack attempted to kick Joker's crowbar out of her hand, but only succeeded in hurting his foot as his appendage connected with cold hard metal.
"Tsk tsk tsk," Joker clicked her tongue, "I'd already set the bar low and yet you still disappointed me."
Joker swung at Jack's head, only for Jack to roll out of the way and attempt to punch her in the face. Joker nimbly dodged the attack and cracked Jack in the knee, causing him to drop to one knee.
"I know you kneed the dough, but there are better ways than this," Joker joked, rearing her hand back to backhand Red Jack with a crowbar only for D'Arby to re-enter the fight and grab her from behind, pinning the heroine's arms to her side.
"Now the tables have turned, harlequin!" Red Jack proclaimed, picking up Joker's own crowbar and preparing to crack her dome with it.
Joker didn't panic and instead slammed her head backwards into D'Arby's face before extending her feet forward and pushed off against Jack's chest, knocking the wind out of the latter. D'Arby held on to Joker, attempting to squeeze the life out of her, only for Heart Attack to get back into the fight, returning the favor from earlier by bashing Tubalcain over the head with a vase. D'Arby let out a strangled yell, allowing for Joker to slip out of his grasp and execute a spinning leg sweep at the same time Heart Attack executed a high spin kick to deliver a brutal tandem attack on the aspiring governor.
Red Jack grabbed a few of D'Arby's explosive playing cards and threw them at the pair. With pinpoint precision, Heart Attack kicked the cards back at the head Diamond Dog, enveloping the villain in a cacophony of small explosions that only served to briefly stagger him. Using his rocket boots, Sheer Heart Attack propelled himself at Red Jack, the speed boost allowing him to deliver a brutal knee to the jaw. Jack was walking the thin line of consciousness as his moves became more sluggish and uncoordinated. Jack took one last defiant swing at Heart Attack, only for the latter to grab him by his arm and flip him over with a slam through the pool table.
"Good Game chap," Heart Attack snarked before knocking Jack out with one final stomp to the face.
In the meantime, Joker was holding her own against D'Arby with ease. Despite being the Full House gang's archnemesis, D'Arby was far from the best fighter, as evidenced by his struggle against the jovial crime fighter.
"Come on," Joker taunted him, peppering him with left and right hands, "put up your dukes. Give it your best shot. Are you even trying?"
"Shut up!" Tubalcain roared, attempting to slam his fists into Joker's back.
"Oops," Joker continued to mock him. "Too slow!"
Joker nailed D'Arby with a left jab followed by a right hook followed by a swift kick to the face.
"Curse you, Joker," D'Arby muttered as he writhed on the ground, "Why couldn't you and Heart Attack just drop dead?"
"You know, you probably could've gotten better hired guns than these clowns," Heart Attack told him.
"Hey!" Joker said indignantly, prompting Heart Attack to apologize "Oh right, sorry."
"This isn't over just yet," Tubalcain swore, reaching into his coat pocket.
"Oh you've gotta be kidding me!" Joker and Sheer Heart Attack exclaimed in stereo, rushing to try and stop the deadly dealer from detonating his rather obvious self destruct.
In the split second that it became clear they wouldn't reach him in time, Heart Attack elected to grab Joker by her collar, pull her back and away from Tubalcain and threw himself on top of her to shield her from the resulting explosion. The blast rocked the entire quarry and left the house D'Arby's was using as a hideout nothing but a smoldering pile of splinters.
Joker was the first one to come to, waking up underneath Sheer Heart Attack. Aside from a few minor burns and a couple of cuts, the harlequin heroine was mostly fine. There was no sign of D'Arby to be found, prompting Joker to curse at the fact that the villain had once again gotten away. Red Jack lied unconscious on a pile of wood, giving the situation at least one silver lining. Lying next to her was Heart Attack, who hadn't escaped the explosion as unharmed as she had. The hero was covered in burns and his suit tattered with half of his domino mask being broken. Joker was about to check for a pulse when the cowled crusader regained consciousness, sitting up from the rubble.
"I was worried for a second that you didn't make it," Joker admitted, joking to relieve a bit of the tension.
"That would make for a pretty funny joke," Heart Attack laughed, "imagine the bomberman being done in by an explosive self destruct."
"That would be some sick irony," Joker exclaimed with a giggle.
"Unfortunately, it looks like our friend Tubalcain got away," Heart Attack noted as he and Joker stood to their feet.
"Yeah," Joker nodded before looking over to Red Jack, "but at the very least, we managed to accomplish what we set out to do in taking down the Diamond Dogs' leader."
"This might be a bigger win than we realize," Heart Attack mentioned, pointing out "Now we have an informant who can tell us everything about D'Arby's plan. The Deadly Dealer may have escaped this time, but it's only a matter before he pops back up again… and this time we'll be ready."
"No doubt about that," Joker nodded her head in agreement before asking Heart Attack "So do you want me to take you to a hospital? You're looking pretty banged up."
"I'll be fine," Heart Attack insisted, popping his dislocated shoulder back into place "this isn't my first time getting banged up. Come on, let's drop Jack off at the police station and figure out where to go from here."
"So where do we go from here?" Joker asked.
"We report back to our allies and tell them what we learned," Heart Attack replied. "We could use as much help as possible to take down D'Arby."
"What if you and Ace have to work together?" Joker asked.
"I'll hate every minute of it," Heart Attack admitted, "but if it's necessary, I'll do it without hesitation. There are bigger things than some petty rivalry."
"You're a good dude, Heart Attack," Joker told him, "I'll put in a good word to Ace and at least get him to rethink his opinion on you."
"Thanks," Heart Attack replied, "I appreciate that. I doubt he'll change his mind, but I appreciate the effort."
"I enjoyed teaming with you," Joker said.
"As did I," Heart Attack replied, "perhaps you can join me and Archer or me and the Suits on a night of patrol."
"That sounds great," Joker smiled.
"Well, I've gotta get going," Heart Attack said, "don't want the missus to worry. Well worry any more than she already will."
"See ya around bomberman," Joker bid her partner for the night adieu.
"Oh, there you are Joker," Ace greeted Joker as she returned. "We were wondering where you'd gone to."
"Oh, nothing major," Joker said. "Just made a new friend tonight…"
END
As is tradition for this author, every year on my birthday, I upload either a chapter or a complete story. This idea is just a little one shot set in the Ace Savvy universe that I had some fun writing. I hope you guys enjoyed it.