"WaaaAAAAHHH."
"Ugh," Jo whined as she rubbed her closed eyes with her blanket-covered hand. Her eyes tried to open as she leaned over and flipped the switch on her lamp. The brightness was too much for the sleep-deprived young mom, who squeezed her eyes shut and covered her face with her fluffy white comforter.
"Wah WAH WAAAH," Olivia screamed. Jo knew she needed to get up and check on her, but her first shift back at the hospital started in less than four hours and she needed all the sleep she could get.
"I'm coming, Baby," Jo said as she pushed the blanket to her feet and slipped out of bed. The 8-week-old was lying on her back, grasping at her toes as her screams made her face grow as red as a tomato.
Jo placed her hand under Olivia's head and butt and lifted her to her chest.
"What's wrong, hmm? Are you hungry? Or maybe you have a dirty," she lifted Olivia above her head and sniffed her bum. "Oh yeah, definitely a dirty diaper," Jo said with a wrinkled nose. She carried the baby to her dresser that had a changing mat lying across the top and placed her on it. She quickly changed her daughter's diaper and carried her to the glider across the room.
She rested Olivia in her arms as she rocked back and forth. As Olivia's eyes started to droop, Jo got a look at all of her defining features. Her light brown hair she'd inherited from her and the brown eyes thats shape matched her fathers'. She brushed her hand across the infant's head and watched as she fell asleep, her hands curled together and resting on her cheek. It was in moments like these, Jo thought about how unfair it was that Alex wasn't there to see them. That he wasn't there when she was born, or when she smiled her first smile at eight weeks. Then, she remembered how unfair it was that he left her in the middle of one of the hardest times of her life and how unfair it was that she'd have to take on all the responsibility for their child because he wanted the perfect apple pie life with his ex. Olivia let out a gurgle, then smiled a crooked smile, another thing she'd inherited from her father.
Jo kissed Olivia's forehead before standing and placing her back in her cradle. She climbed into bed and checked the clock. 4:57. Great, she thought. If she were lucky, she could get another hour before having to get up and face her first day back. She closed her eyes and hoped to soak up every second.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
"WAaaAAaAhHhHHH," Jo heard again as she slammed her hand against her alarm. She got up and carried Olivia out of their bedroom, down the hall and to the kitchen. When she'd found out she was pregnant, she realized living in a bad neighborhood with an infant and no one to protect them wasn't a good idea, so she, Link, and Amelia bought and moved into the house Derek built. It was quite the change, moving in with a couple and their baby, but Jo couldn't have done the single mother thing without them.
Link was in the kitchen cooking some eggs and baby Scout was sitting on the counter in a bouncer, chewing on his sock. Jo placed Olivia in the matching white and tan bouncer next to him before preparing a bottle.
Link carried the pan to a line of three plates, dumping an even amount onto each plate. Jo grabbed hers and quickly scarfed it down while feeding Olivia.
"Woah, wanna slow down there?" Link joked as he carried his plate to the counter and sat beside his son, who's attention was on the soft blue and white ball his father had placed in his hands.
"I need to make sure I get there in enough time to get Olivia to daycare," Jo said with a full mouth. She finished her plate and brushed her sleeve across her lips as she carried the plate to the sink.
Amelia walked in, her hands in her hair as she tied it into a neat bun. She watched as Jo ran around the kitchen, throwing bottles into her diaper bag.
"Nervous about your first day back?" she asked. She walked over to Scout and lifted her from her bouncer, resting the 8-month-old on her side.
"A little," Jo said, then recounted the number of diapers and changes of clothing she'd packed. She turned her head to Olivia who was staring at her with wide eyes. She walked over, lifted the baby out of her seat, placed her on her shoulder, and patted her back until Olivia let out a loud, "Uuuuh."
Amelia passed Scout to Link, who followed Jo back to her bedroom. He waited by the door as she placed Olivia on her changing pad and looked through her drawers for a clean outfit.
"It's normal to be nervous about leaving her for the first time." Link said, "The first time we left Scout at daycare I checked on him every fifteen minutes. I was useless for the first week until Bailey screwed my head on straight."
Jo unsnapped her daughter's sleep onesies and slowly slid it off her tiny arms as Olivia waved them around.
"I know, I know. I just need to get there and get it over with." She blew a raspberry onto her daughter's stomach, who smiled and waved her arms as though she was trying to clap. She put her chubby arms and legs into a new onesie, snapped it closed, and carried her to the bed, laying her on the unmade bedding.
Link walked over and placed his hand on her shoulder. He waited until she looked him in the eye and noticed hers were glistening with tears.
"Hey, hey, don't worry. Things will be okay, you'll see. You can visit her whenever you want. You get used to it." Jo closed her eyes and for a moment, pretended it was Alex's hand and her shoulder and comforting words she'd just heard. She imagined they were back in their loft, him just as or maybe even a little more nervous as they prepared their daughter for their first day in a new and scary place without either of her parents. He'd probably make silly faces and jokes to make them both feel better and-
"You're gonna do great," Link said. Link, not Alex because this wasn't some fairytale. This wasn't her old life, this was her new one. The one where she was a single mother and needed to toughen up if she was going to still be the surgeon she'd always dreamed of. She opened her eyes and nodded.
"Yeah, thanks Link," she said, before turning back to Olivia and hoping he didn't see the tear slide down her cheek.