Summary: It's a familiar pattern. Genis gets flushed and flustered when they talk. Can't take his eyes off them when they're near. Just the thought of them makes him daydream about what it'd be like to have just one kiss...
That's the way his crushes go. That's how his crush on Presea went. And... if he's being honest, that's how his crush on Mithos went too.
He needs to be honest with himself. Because... Genis has another crush. On a guy.
And he's an elf.
Notes: Part of my Queer Symphonia series - connected to "(I Hate) Sleeping Alone", "Unexpectedly Articulate (No More Tripping Over Words)", and "Somewhere in the Middle (Or Nowhere At All)"
Both is Good
It's a familiar pattern. Genis gets flushed and flustered when they talk. Can't take his eyes off them when they're near. Just the thought of them makes him daydream about what it'd be like to have just one kiss...
That's the way his crushes go. That's how his crush on Presea went. And... if he's being honest, that's how his crush on Mithos went too.
He needs to be honest with himself. Because... Genis has another crush. On a guy.
And he's an elf.
Heron is only two years older than Genis, with pale green hair that falls down around his shoulders in subtle waves. Genis longs to run his fingers through those gentle curls and that's the first clue Genis gets to what the mess of feelings in his chest really are.
He turns into a stammering mess next. Genis can barely string two words together in Heron's presence. The same way he'd been with Presea when he'd first met her.
And then Genis starts making excuses to spend time with Heron because he just... wants to be with the other boy as much as he can. As often as he can. Like... like with Mithos.
That makes Genis take a step back, because... he's still ashamed of his feelings for Mithos. He'd liked Mithos so much and the betrayal he'd felt when the other boy turned out to be nothing of the sort... not a boy and certainly not his friend. An adult who'd taken advantage of Genis' feelings to get an in with his enemies.
Thankfully Mithos had been no more aware of what Genis' feelings really were than Genis himself had been at the time. But he's older now and looking back, Genis sees the crush for what it was.
He still misses Mithos, despite it all. Not who Mithos really was, but the person he'd pretended to be. Genis' first half-elven friend. The first person Genis could confess all his darkest moments to, the ugly knot of anger in his chest over how humans and elves treated the half-elven children their two species created and then abused and disdained and abandoned. Mithos had understood in a way that Lloyd, human but so kind and full of love, never would.
Lloyd's anger, after all, is sharp and quick, but sputters out quickly enough. A candle compared to the flame that burns in Genis against all the injustice the world has put him and his sister and their kin through.
Presea had seemed a safer choice for Genis to focus on, compared to Mithos. Even before the truth came out. Tethe'alla was extremely homophobic, compared to Sylvarant where such relationships were not merely tolerated, but encouraged. Mithos lived in Tethe'alla, though. Or so they'd thought, anyway. Genis had assumed Mithos would have those same hang ups. So he'd focused on his feelings of friendship for the blond boy and convinced even himself he'd felt nothing more. Genis had enough trouble with his unrequited feelings for Presea, anyway.
He's not even sure she'd ever noticed.
Heron certainly doesn't seem to notice now.
It makes Genis feel small and unseen. And he doesn't like it.
So after Cruxis was defeated and the world was saved, Raine and Genis were invited to live in Heimdall, to help break down the barriers and prejudices the elves living there had against half-elves. And mostly that's Raine working with the elders to overturn legal precedents and reinforcing that judging an entire race of people based on the actions of one person was ignorant at best.
But it's arguably also Genis playing with the other kids his age. Him being kind to the younger kids and unfailingly polite. Him biting his tongue when one of the older kid constantly makes these little barbed comments about the stupid little half-elf in their midst.
Sometimes he's literally biting his tongue. And he hates it so much. He'd rather be traveling with Lloyd, even with Zelos being there too. Even with those two apparently being love birds or whatever. Word is they're courting, which is... well, Zelos isn't the Chosen One that Genis had always imagined Lloyd being married to one day. But apparently Colette's got a traveling companion of her own these days.
And when Genis got his last letter from Presea... it was just a letter from a friend. He suspects that if he saw her, he wouldn't feel any different from how he did for Colette or Sheena. And Genis mourns that lost crush a little. He'd liked the fluttery feeling she gave him. She was safe, in a way, for him to have a crush on.
Heron's... less safe. He's not a bad person. And when he says something that Genis, tentatively, points out is actually bigoted nonsense, Heron apologizes and genuinely does better. But he... he doesn't stick up for Genis when other people are rude. Like Evon, a redheaded elf who was the one that had Genis metaphorically, and literally on occasion, biting his tongue.
Presea would have noticed. She'd have said something. Bluntly, because she was a to-the-point kind of person.
Genis wished he had better taste in men.
"Are you coming to the creek?" Heron asked, catching Genis' attention.
Genis had been lost in thought, sitting on the stoop of the Inn where he and Raine were being allowed to stay for free until reconstruction of the town completed and a new home could be built for them. Thinking about Heron, actually.
"Is, uh... is Evon going to be there?" Genis asked.
"Well, yeah."
"Then I probably shouldn't go," Genis shook his head, looking away. "S-sorry, but thanks for thinking of me."
"What's the problem with Evon?" Heron asked, frowning.
He even frowned pretty. It wasn't fair.
"It's... he... you really don't notice the things he says about me. The way he talks to me? He acts like I'm less than swamp-slime. Like all half-elves are." Genis shrugged. "I don't... I don't want to deal with that right now."
Heron frowned. "Oh, I... I'm sorry."
"Not your fault."
"No... no it is. I should have noticed and said something." Heron shook his head. "I'm sorry." He hummed thoughtfully. "Then why don't we find something else to do? Just us?"
Genis felt a warm flush crawl up his neck and across his cheeks and ears. "I, uh... y-yeah. Sure. I'd like that. A lot."
Heron had a pretty smile. Warm and kind.
He could do with being less oblivious but, well... no one was perfect. And Genis isn't feeling unseen right now.
"Evon, you got to stop saying stuff like that."
Genis ducked behind a tree, out of sight.
"Why? Just 'cause you want to coddle the little half-human brat, doesn't mean I need to watch what I say."
Heron made a distressed noise. "When did you become such an asshole?"
"When did you become such a freak-lover?"
There was a loud smack and a thud in the bushes.
"Screw you, Heron!" There was the sound of Evon running off.
Heron huffed softly and then said, "Genis, uh... I know you're there."
"Are you okay?" Genis asked, coming around the tree sheepishly.
"Yeah. But I don't think I'm going to be very popular with the rest of the kids after this." Heron rubbed his knuckles absently. "Worth it though."
Genis felt all warm at the implication that he was worth it. And he smiled. "Their loss," Genis told him. "You're a good friend."
Heron ducked his head and smiled back.
"Um... Raine?" Genis hesitated and then shut the door behind him.
"Yes?" She looked up from the papers on her desk. "Everything alright?"
"Yeah. Um... but..." Genis fidgeted nervously. "My friend, Heron. You've noticed him, right?"
"Right. He's that green haired young man. Very polite. I like what I've seen of him."
"Good. 'Cause I... I like him. Like him, like him. The way I, uh... liked Presea."
Raine took Genis' hand in hers. Smiled at him proudly. "The elves don't share the rest of Tethe'alla's bigotry towards same gender courtships. Are you planning to tell him how you feel?"
"I... I don't know. Not for a while, if at all. But I just... wanted to tell someone." Genis smiled and said, "he's... he's been changing a lot because of our friendship. And it means a lot to me. I don't want to make things weird right now."
Nodding slowly, Raine tugged Genis into a hug. "I'm glad this hasn't been an entirely awful experience for you. I thought at first, maybe it'd be better for you to go back to Iselia. But I didn't want us to be apart."
"I don't regret staying," Genis assured her. "And Evon and some of the other kids have been pretty awful. But Heron isn't the only one who has been open to outgrowing their prejudices. And I don't want us to be apart either."
Notes: I don't really know if Heron likes Genis the same way Genis likes him. But he's a good kid who is starting to realize he's led a very sheltered life thus far and genuinely just wants to be a good friend to Genis.