Josh would have guessed he'd be mortified to share a kiss with the woman he loves in front of his entire family, but in the moment he hardly even notices the existence of anyone besides Natalie. Not until Grandma June starts wolf-whistling, anyway.
He doesn't notice walking up the stairs and into the house, either, but he finds himself standing in the foyer holding Natalie's gloved hand, and the two of them are inevitably enveloped in the whirlwind of his family's chaotic energy. First there's a giddy rush into the living room as Mom brings out the big tea kettle and Dad heaves a tray stacked with mugs onto the coffee table. Then Grandma June points at the Christmas tree and tells the story about the year that Grandpa blew out the electricity on the whole block by plugging in too many lights, and Chelsea and Owen start demonstrating all the pregnancy photo shoot posts that they're planning, even though the kid isn't supposed to pop out until July.
Amidst the loud loving pandemonium, Josh keeps sneaking glances at Natalie. She's seated beside him on the couch, laughing at his family's antics and sipping from a cup with a reindeer-shaped handle. Once, she catches him looking at her, and her grin lights up her whole face. He crooks his hand around her waist, and she rests her head on his shoulder, and he's certain he's going to combust right here, right now with joy.
Finally, Mom declares that Santa won't come if nobody goes to sleep, and Josh's parents, brother, and sister-in-law all get up and offer their congratulations and goodnights. Grandma June pats Natalie on the cheek and gives Josh a smooch on the crown of his head, and then she shoos everyone else upstairs.
Josh holds his breath until he hears the last squeal of a closing bedroom door. "I thought they'd never leave," he says.
Natalie giggles, her eyes bright. "I love your family. But, yeah. I'm glad they cleared out." She sways toward him slowly, with her lips parted expectantly.
He inhales, swallows his worries, and presses his lips to hers. She tastes like peppermint, and he feels as if he's intoxicated, even though he's had only the tea. "It's even nicer to kiss you when nobody's watching," he says against her mouth.
"I agree." She laughs. "Let's do it again."
They do. It's slow and quiet, and completely different from what he imagined it might be like, back when he thought he'd never get lucky enough to meet Natalie in person.
"Be honest," she says when she finally pulls away. "When I said I flew across the country to surprise you, did you think I was a total weirdo?"
Josh reaches up and brushes her hair from her face. "Natalie, we've been talking for months. I already know that you're a total weirdo."
She snorts and punches his shoulder playfully. "Seriously, what went through your head when you first saw me standing in your house?"
"Something like 'Oh shit, I screwed everything up,'" Josh says, and she laughs harder. "And my next thought was, 'Wow, she's even prettier in real life.'"
Natalie gives him a closed-lipped smile. "At the beginning I was too mad at you to notice anything else. But now I know you're handsome, inside and out."
His heart sinks. He's love-drunk, not stupid. "You don't - you don't have to say that. I know you care about me but -"
"Listen to me. I love how you look." She squeezes his shoulders. "You're the one I want." She says it with such conviction that there's no room for argument.
He gently bumps his forehead to hers. "I believe you." He'll make himself believe, for her.
He's leaning in to kiss her once more when the grandfather clock chimes midnight. "It's really late. Should I drive you back to your hotel?" Please say no, he can't help but think.
"Can I stay here?" she asks quietly. "With you?"
Thank God. "Yeah. Of course."
He leads her down the stairs to his room, bringing along one of his lit candles, and he comments that it feels like they're knocking around Scrooge's Victorian mansion in A Christmas Carol. She laughs even though it's a dumb joke.
After they reach the bottom landing, he digs through a drawer and hands her a pair of his flannel pajama pants, a long sleeved shirt, and some warm socks.
She goes into his bathroom to change clothes, just as she's done every other night since she arrived. When she comes out, her face is washed clean and her eyes sparkle in the candlelight. She sits on the bed, draws her knees up to her body, and smiles up at him.
"I know this is all really new," he says as he glances up at the ceiling and rubs the back of his neck. "I get it if you still want me to sleep on the floor -"
"That's silly. Sleep with me," she says, and her tone is confident, but the way she bites her lip gives away her shyness.
He swallows and nods, not bothering to hide his nerves. He takes off his glasses, then moves to blow out the candle.
"Wait," Natalie says. "Leave it lit for now. I -" she breaks off and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. "I want to see you."
Josh's heart thumps, but somehow he forces himself to take a step forward. "I want to see you, too." He sinks down beside Natalie and takes her hand. "What the - you're freezing!"
"Um, yeah, I'm from California. I've been freezing since I got here," she says as her teeth begin to chatter.
"Jeez. Get under the covers, then." He lies beside her and tugs the thick comforter up to their necks, then wraps his arms around her and holds her to his chest. She tucks her head under his chin and tangles her legs with his.
They lie like that for a minute, simply breathing together. Then Natalie slings her arm around Josh's neck, and soon they are kissing again.
He dares to slip his fingertips under the hem of her shirt, across the smooth skin at the small of her back. "You're getting warm now," he mumbles into her mouth.
"Yeah," Natalie agrees. Her tongue slides past his teeth, and she doesn't push away for a long time. "You have really soft lips," she says when she finally does, her voice low. "I really like kissing you."
"Hmm." He grazes his lips across her jawline, then nuzzles the soft spot behind her ear. She twists around, exposing more of her neck, and skates her nails down his arm.
"What else do you like?" he asks into her hair, because it's too much to look into her eyes.
She breathes out, short and faint. "When you helped me up the ladder. I liked your hands on my waist."
"Oh." He skims his palm along the edge of her pajama pants. "Like this?"
"Just like that," she sighs. As he traces the curve of her hip with the pad of his thumb, she arches toward him and whispers, "You could, um, take my pants off. If you want."
If he wants? His clumsy fingers snag the lace of her panties as he slips the flannel down past her thighs.
He's too caught up in her scent, and warm skin, and slim hands, and sweet light breaths to register exactly when his own pajamas come off, or how she loses her shirt. Eventually, though, he's almost completely skin to skin with her.
He shakes off the trance just as she dips her fingertips below the elastic of his boxers. As he takes her wrist to gently move her hand away, he clears his throat. "Wait. I have to say something."
"I'm listening."
He takes a deep breath. "This has already been the best night of my life. But this is all brand new, and we don't need to go any further. Not if you don't want to." But please, please say you want to.
"I want to." She presses her palm to his cheek.
He leans into her touch. "And you're - prepared?"
"I'm on the pill." She laughs softly. "We're good."
"And you're absolutely sure you want - with me -"
"Yes. I'm sure." Natalie lifts her chin. She's smiling, but concern threads her voice as she asks, "You're sure you want to?"
Josh pulls her close and gazes into her eyes. "More than anything."
The candle flickers, and the room is plunged into darkness.
The grey Christmas dawn filters in through the one window that doesn't have a shade.
Josh glances down at Natalie, who looks beautiful with her eyes closed and her hair messy on the pillow. She's still snuggled up to him, asleep.
His arm is asleep, too. He shifts, and she stirs.
She rubs her nose with the back of her hand and appears extremely cute while she does it. "Is everyone else up?"
"I don't think so." He lies still and listens. Dad is shuffling around in the kitchen upstairs, and someone is running a bathroom sink. "We probably have another twenty minutes before they start beating on the door to demand that we come up and open gifts."
She drapes her arm across his chest and smiles coyly. "I think that's enough time."
He rolls toward her and returns her smile. "Maybe for now," he says, and his hand strays down to her bottom. "But I'm always going to want more."
"Hmm. I think I know what you mean." She hooks her leg over his hip and regards him with a serious expression. "Good thing I've fallen in love with you, then."
"Good thing," he murmurs hoarsely. His heart is in his throat as he says, "I love you, too." He pulls her against his chest and kisses her.
[the end]