Like most adventures she went on these days, Princess Syalis of Goodereste had been sent to Hogwarts by force.

She was just minding her business drinking sleep potions and eating avocados, when an owl that didn't belong to the Demon King flew through her window and dropped a letter in her lap. Of course, she opened it.

Dear Syalis of Goodereste,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wiz…

"I hate junkmail," Syalis muttered, dropping the letter into her waste bin and returning to her snacks and grimoire. She might have forgot about it if the owl hadn't kept returning throughout the week. Each time, it brought more and more letters. Eventually, this owl was joined by another, then another.

It was late at night when a letter was dropped on its edge on her nose that she'd finally had enough. She threw off the covers and knocked her hairbrush against the bars. As per usual, the teddy demons came at her command. She brushed them for a few minutes before making her way down the hall.

The Demon King had just finished a council with his advisors and was back to skulking in his shadowed seat in the throne room. He looked up when the door opened unannounced.

"What has she done this time?" he asked, clearly expecting to see his righthand wolf, the Great Red Syberian. Instead, it was the princess herself, walking straight towards him with a stack of letters. She dropped them on the floor in front of him without a word. Both were silent. Syalis wasn't one to initiate conversation, and she knew the King would have questions.

"C-Can I help you, Princess?" He'd given up attempting to treat her like a hostage a long time ago. The so-called "prisoner" was terrifying.

"Do you have another prison cell that doesn't have a window?" she asked. The Demon King stared at her for a moment.

"You… don't want a window?" Even Syalis recognized her request as odd. Half of her schemes relied on that window. Besides, she slept better with the fresh air. "What does that have to do with these envelopes?" He looked baffled.

"Some birds keep showing up and dropping them on me," she grumbled. "One of them woke me up."

"Do you know who they're from?"

"It's all recruitment spam from some school." The Demon King finally rose from his throne and knelt next to the pile of letters. Picking one up, he noted the address: Syalis of Goodereste, tallest tower of the Demon King's Castle, Demon Realm. He opened an envelope and read the letter.

"It says you've been accepted to this 'Hogwarts' to 'further your magic skills'," he reiterated. "You know magic?" To his exasperation, she shrugged. "What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I mean, one time I managed to put the castle under a sleep spell," she said.

"THAT WAS YOU?!" he practically screamed, but she remained unaffected.

"I was trying to cast it on myself."

"Where did you learn a sleep spell?"

"This really obnoxious grimoire that I found after falling down some stairs past some creepy statues."

"Falling…" He stopped. His penguin demon had come running to him one day, telling him that a particular door had been unlocked, that its seal had been broken. That hadn't been just any door though. Behind it, positioned carefully on a pedestal under lock and key was…

"You found the Forbidden Grimoire," he moaned into his gloved hands.

"He was really annoying," the princess replied. "He kept telling me to escape."

"THAT'S BECAUSE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE MOST LOGICAL ACTION!" His otherwise shout was contained as a stifled, high-pitched groan. Instead of completely losing his temper out loud though, he turned the letter over in his hands.

Unbeknownst to Syalis, the Demon King had heard of this "Hogwarts". His father had told him about it once. It was a school for solely mortals to learn magic. There had been stories about a large, hairy man that kept trying to enter the demon's realm for dragon eggs, a disturbing man-child that had somehow stolen an adult basilisk, and some kind of potioneer that would roam around the forest looking for ingredients, namely some blood and essence. If there was anyone scarier than the princess, it was this school.

If he didn't know better, the Demon King would have thought the princess would be excited to attend. But, he did, and Syalis knew he did.

"I don't know what to tell you," he said at last. "If they want you to go to this school, there's not much I can do to stop them."

"I thought I was a prisoner."

"You are."

"So, can't you tell them I'm not allowed to leave?"

"Erm…" The Demon King shifted uncomfortably, though her face hadn't changed. "Unfortunately, that wouldn't deter them." They were both quiet for a moment as she continued to stare at him.

"Hmph. Never took you as the chicken type."

"What? I'm not scared of them. What are you talking about?" The king scratched his head and nervously chuckled.

She had no idea how that conversation had led her to the noisy Great Hall of this Scottish castle, but she was here now, and she wasn't happy.

This place is far too crowded, she thought. At least the demons knew to give me personal space. Now, she was surrounded by children and teenagers, all smiling and laughing loudly. Ugh, she inwardly groaned, this just won't do! These people have no right to drag me away from my cell! She hadn't even been able to bring her deluxe pillow; there wasn't enough room after the Wolf Man exchanged her sleeping supplies for her "required" supplies. And as for her beloved teddy demons, they had not been included as an "appropriate animal companion" in her letter. That wasn't enough alone to stop her, but the Wolf Man had confiscated her fuzzy friends. He wouldn't even let her bring one of the snow seals from the ice demon territory.

I have to start all over again, she thought. Why does this keep happening to me?

"Hi there!" came a voice from beside her. She cast a cold glance upwards to find a grinning boy with brown hair and dimples. "I'm Neville Longbottom! You're new to Hogwarts too? Well, I mean, of course you are: you're standing with the rest of us first years…"

Impossible! Another D-whatsit?! Of course, he didn't look like her betrothed, who was a couple years older than her and blond, but he smiled and blushed as much. This place is worse than the Demon Castle!

"What house are you hoping to get into? Gran wants me to go into Gryffindor. I'm not sure I'm cut out for it though. It's for the brave and all…"

Does he not stop talking? she thought.

"Honestly, I'll likely end up in Hufflepuff. It's where the funny ones go. But, enough about me. What about you?"

Before Syalis was forced to answer, she heard someone clear their throat.

"We're starting!" Neville said, standing up straight. Just like D-whatsit, the princess grumbled and looked ahead. The source of the throat-clearing was an old woman in green robes. She was saying something about "sorting" and "houses", but Syalis had zoned out.

I'm never going to be able to rest in a place like this, she thought. Not without some effort on my part. And I doubt anyone here really knows the true art of sleep enough to give me advice. I guess, I'll have to review my notes from Hypnos. The god of sleep had taught her plenty about using everyday objects and spaces for ideal resting conditions, and Syalis – not wanting to forget any of his teachings – had written them down, which required more hand exercises than usual. Still, she had managed to fit these notes into her luggage. She wondered what kind of supplies were considered "everyday" in this castle.

Well, the first thing I'll need is fabric for a deluxe pillow, she thought. Not too much of it. And the older it is, the softer it will be, unless it's made of wool. Someone was singing in the background, but she wasn't paying attention. This cloak is far too scratchy for the job. I wonder if…

"Goodereste, Syalis?" called a voice. The princess was brought back to the present. The green-robed witch was staring at her. How the woman knew that her name matched her, Syalis did not know. "Step forward please." The latter shook her head, but found herself being bumped along to the front of the crowd, despite her grunts of protest. Before she knew it, she had been plopped onto a stool.

Unhand me, she thought, just as some kind of hat was shoved on her head. Syalis rose to leave, but she was sat back down again. The entire hall was watching this back and forth until she heard the older witch mutter a spell under her breath, and the princess was glued to her seat. Syalis grumbled and reached up to pull the hat off, but stopped her fingers on the brim.

This fabric… it's ancient! She smoothed her fingers on the material, which was silken to the touch.

"You're quite the brave one," a new voice was murmuring in her ear while she brainstormed how to use the hat. "You have literally faced darkness without a single tear. Gryffindor would be a decent enough house for you. But, there's something deeper – ambition, a drive to get what you want by any means. You're quite clever as well…"

I have no need of the brim, she smiled darkly.

"Better be…"

RIP!

The Great Hall was now silent as Syalis quickly whipped the hat off of her head and tore the brim off, only briefly wondering why the accessory had a mouth. Then, she stood, glued stool and all, and began hobbling back towards the large, oaken doors that marked the entrance.

"Slytherin," a tattered voice creaked. The princess gave a triumphant smile as she rubbed the fabric to her cheek.

Now, I just need some stuffing, she thought.