Sleeping Dogs C17

A loud knock on the door startles us both awake. Sasuke drops into a defensive crouch as I activate my byakugan. "Oh goddd…" I groan, flopping back down onto Naruto's mission roll and deactivating my byakugan.

A booming voice shouts through the door, "KAORI! SASUKE! I INVITE YOU TO A YOUTHFUL TRAINING SESSION!" Sasuke slumps back down onto the bedroll. We lie perfectly still and silent, hoping he will just go away.

"I SEE MY ETERNAL RIVAL HAS PASSED ON HIS HABITS TO HIS DEAR STUDENTS! SLEEPING THROUGH THE DAWN!" We flinch and jerk away as Gai-sensei leans over us with hands on hips.

Sasuke sighs and mutters something, rolling to his feet and strapping on his weapon pouch. I shuffle into the bathroom and change into my new training gear, adjusting my headscarf to fall over my bandaged left eye. I step out of the bathroom and Gai-sensei chuckles, "Kaori you take after the cool fashion of my eternal rival."

I tug on my headscarf and give him a weak smile. Sasuke glares at the ground. The pieces fall into place, Sasuke's panic, Gai-sensei's arrival, the first line of defence having already fallen. Sensei.

"YOSH!" Gai-sensei shouts, forcefully dispelling the glum atmosphere and marching out of the apartment. Sasuke and I reluctantly follow as he leads us on to Training Ground 9. Lee and Neji are sparring, whilst Tenten uses a wooden dummy for target practice. I unseal my bow and sidle over to her, hoping to escape notice when a taut voice cuts across the field, "How have you managed to so severely injure the muscular structures of your eye?"

I trace the chakra rivulets of my bow with my thumbnail, pretending to find a fault in the string and fiddling with it even as Neji's byakugan pierces through the back of my skull.

Gai-sensei folds his arms and hums, we all turn expectant for his explanation, but he just continues to hum loudly. Neji directs his attention to Sasuke, pinning him with a loathsome glare. Sasuke scowls back and then looks away, a flicker of guilt crossing his expression. Neji closes in, jaw set, when Lee steps between them and bows, "Sasuke-kun, would you like to spar? I would like to test my taijutsu against the might of your sharingan."

Sasuke grunts and stalks off to the other side of the training field, Lee following. Gai-sensei crosses the field, watching their spar from a distance.

Tenten leans into me, "What happened to Sasuke's hair?"

"Katon backfire," I say, moulding an arrow and lining up my sight on the dummy.

"Is it wise to be firing with your dominant arm when your right collarbone is held together by a recently regrown cartilage structure?" Neji mocks behind me.

I take a deep breath and switch arms, drawing back the bowstring with my left hand. I take aim and fire, my arrow piercing through the abdomen of the wooden dummy and firing out of the shoulder.

"Your archery skill has plateaued," Neji states in a flat tone. I bite down on a snarky retort and grip my bow. He continues, "You're too reliant on your water-style ninjutsu, skewing your skillset and making you fundamentally weak to taijutsu attacks."

"Do you even have an elemental affinity?" I retort and Neji glares.

"You were physically dominated by the ice-user in an underwater environment and now have fractured your collarbone, no doubt from an obvious lapse in your guard." Neji berates me, "Your lack of taijutsu skill is starting to border on incompetence-"

"Incompetence?" I snap, "Are your standards that high that a rookie genin getting kicked to shit by nuke-nin is incompetent?"

Neji's face colours, "I mean there are measures you can take-"

"Measures?" I scoff, "Well you see I'd tried asking nicely if they'd leave us alone, but turns out they're all pretty keen on collecting our skins."

A dark look crosses Neji's face and Tenten jumps between us, her taller frame obscuring us from each other's sight. "Okay, you two. Take it easy." She says.

Neji pushes her aside, "That's the problem. Kaori has been taking it too easy. Her training regime is far too light for the situations she frequently recklessly involves herself in."

My bow trembles in my hand, knuckles stretched white. Easy? He thinks I've been taking it too easy?

"Ah! Sakura! You're here!" Tenten shouts, sliding between us and jumping up and down.

"Kaori? What are you doing here?" Sakura says, walking over in her training gear.

My jaw works, but I'm too angry to even speak. I shove past Sakura and storm off the training field.

Neji stalks after me, "Immature tantrums are hardly the method to resolve this issue."

I whirl around on him, black oil corroding through my veins. I see his face: older, chiseled into granite features, set in an expression of contempt, "You really are taking after Hiashi-sama."

Neji goes sheet white. I surge my chakra and body flicker to the outskirts, stumbling with the momentum and bursting into a furious run.

Too easy. He thinks I've been taking it too easy.

He thinks I haven't been working hard enough to deal with this SHIT.

My taijutsu is fundamentally weak. Skewed skillset. Light training. Bordering on incompetence.

The words rattle around in my skull and I thrash around, lashing out kicks and punches into the air. I throw my bow and watch it skid across the ground. I scream into the barren landscape and dare someone to come, to come fight me, to challenge me now. I run on, bleeding my rage through every mile.

I reach a cluster of rocky spires. A giant's hand reaching out of the earth and clutching at the clouds, holding them captive. I want to destroy it. To smash it to pieces. My chakra rises to the surface, but I can't sense any water nearby. I kick the rock. It doesn't move.

"Fine. Fuck you." I snarl, biting my thumb and smearing blood on the ground. I dump chakra into the summon seal, but my thoughts don't align into a clear message. My spiritual chakra lies flat and guarded in my mind, I reach for it and it withdraws. I cut off my chakra and abandon the seal. I return to kicking at the rock, chipping loose a pebble at a time.

Neji's face appears in my mind, expression drawn in contempt. That look. The same look. The look They all have. I thought… I thought Neji was different.

I take a shaky breath and press my face against the rock, smothering a sob. My cheeks burn and I chew on my lip, trying to hold it down when my shoulders shake and a pitiful whine is ripped from me. I choke on another sob. And then I can't stop. I hunch against the rock and cry.

Something warm circles my neck, sniffing in my ear. I grizzle against the rock as a soft tongue licks my cheeks. I push off of the rock to a series of squeaks and squeals, Umisachi slipping into the crook of my arm and standing up on my chest, "Kaori? What troubles you?" His whiskers twitch, "You summoned the detonation crew yesterday. Did the battle not fair well?"

I wipe my hot face and snivel, "No. I mean… No, it's not that."

Umisachi dips his nose against my chin, "Then what is it? We saw your summon portal, but no message came through. If there's any problem, there's sure to be a way us otters can help."

"My cousin thinks I have shit taijutsu," I sob, throat tense and sore.

Umisachi puffs up, fur standing on end, "Kaori! We have failed you as our summoner! If you knew Otter-Fu then no cousin would insult your taijutsu prowess!" Umisachi jumps out of my arms and dances across the ground, a chakra-ink formula spreads out beneath my feet then I'm flung backwards. My open mouth swallows seawater and I have to line my cheeks with chakra to spit it out. I kick up and break the surface, gasping for air.

"We must head to the palace," Umisachi says, bobbing beside me.

"To the palace,' I repeat in a croaky voice, paddling to the sea cave. Umisachi arranges the clam shells and opens the cave portal, leading me up the stairs to the coral palace.

Otohime greets us at the palace entrance, "Kaori, you come to visit us again."

"She has come to learn Otter-Fu!" Umisachi barks, skirting around Otohime and leading me into the palace. We pass the goldfish pond and Genbu snoozing in his shell. Umisachi leads me up a set of stairs and then along a narrower set of corridors, through a window I see the swaying bamboo poles. Finally, we arrive at a circular room with painted panels adorning the walls. The paintings of cresting waves, meandering rivers, waterfalls, rapids and rain showers alongside otters, their slinky bodies mimicking the shapes of these water flows.

"The core principle of Otter-Fu is to maintain a constant flow of energy, as a river flows and a wave races to the shore," Otohime explains.

I point towards a painting of an otter arching its back, nose to tail, "I don't think I bend that way."

"You have a spine don't you? Of course you can bend like that!" Umisachi barks, as Otohime titters.

A pair of russet otters scamper into the room, one with orange fur lining its belly. I scramble for names and come up blank. I abort into a bow and an overly polite, "Good Morning."

Umisachi tilts his head at me, whilst Otohime flicks her tail to each otter in turn, "Ah, Hamana, Nakaumi. Thank you for coming." She gestures towards me, "Kaori is here to learn Otter-Fu."

Hamana squeaks, "Of course! Kaori as our summoner must master the physical disciplines of Ryūgū-jō as she comes to understand the spiritual arts." Nakaumi nods and thumps her tail.

"First, we must stretch the body and relax the muscles. Please copy my movements." Hamana lies flat on his belly and arches back into a perfect crescent. I lie down and stretch my arms and legs behind me, lifting my head up. There's a low growl and a titter, before paws press into my back and needle-like teeth latch onto the nape of my neck craning it back even further. I groan as the tendons in my neck pop out.

"The body must move as one for energy to flow as one." Hamana explains, rolling over onto his back and curling himself nose to tail. Nakaumi releases my neck and I slump relieved, but I'm barely given a second to recover before webbed digits dig into my ribs and flip me over. Nakaumi crawls under my legs and then pushes up, walking my legs back until I'm squeezing my head between my thighs. My hip flexors pulse at my sides, the joints threatening to pop out entirely when Hamana turns and twists into an s-shape position.

"Oh mother-" I just manage to wheeze out, before Nakaumi has yanked me into this new position. We complete another two dozen stretches, a thirty pound otter dragging me around the floor and folding me into shapes like origami rice paper. At the end of it my muscles don't feel "relaxed", but bruised and battered like I'd been trapped in a tumble dryer for two hours.

Finally Hamana stands and sweeps his tail across the floor. "In any battle, there is a transfer of energy. From yourself to your opponent. And vice versa," He explains, gesturing to one side and then the other. "An Otter-Fu practitioner must place themselves in the path of this energy transfer. To ensure a pure transfer of energy in their attacks," He says, striking the air with a whipping tail. He scampers around me, "And to disrupt your opponent from this path, to absorb their energy and use it against them." Hamana strikes towards me and I draw up into a defensive kick, when the otter loops around my leg and I'm flipped up and over, crashing down hard onto my shoulder.

I grumble and slowly sit up. Nakaumi chitters at my feet, "She's too clumsy to learn katas in combat. You need to teach them individually."

Hamana nods and then begins to demonstrate a series of katas, performing the same positions as the otters adorning the walls. I copy him to the best of my ability, but my joints and ligaments restrict me from certain bends, soon corrected by Nakaumi biting and pulling me into the correct shape.

We repeat the forms three times through, at the end of which I'm dripping with sweat and having to lean on the wall to stand steady. Fortunately, Otohime steps in and takes pity, "Thank you, Hamana, Nakaumi. I suspect Kaori has had enough training for today."

Hamana dips his nose, "We must continue these sessions daily. To train your body to slip through these positions with ease. To conduct constant flow."

Nakaumi releases her grip on my ankle. "Your chakra flows with ease. But your body is so stiff!" She complains, with a snorting sniff.

I rub my sore neck, "Something to work on." More like something I'd have to adapt to, become more flexible or risk being snapped to pieces.

Umisachi hops up onto my shoulder, "Kaori will master Otter-Fu. Asari said she was strong."

I try to reach up to stroke Umisachi under the chin, but my floppy arm won't even budge. My legs buckle and I slide to the floor in a heap: has stopped responding. System Error. System Shutdown.

"I'll request Ukemochi to bring some refreshments," Otohime says, scampering away.

"Thanks," I mumble, face pressed against the floor with Umisachi lying on my head. I drift off into a snooze, dreaming of otters kung-fu fighting. The smell of grilled fish rouses me and I sit up, Umisachi sliding down onto my shoulder. Ukemochi appears carrying a full tray of dishes and a pot of tea; I receive the tray from her with a grateful bow, "Thank you. This looks delicious."

Ukemochi clasps her tail pleased, "I remember as a pup, my mother had to prepare many dishes for Mito-hime. Training fires up the engine of the stomach she used to say."

"Mhmm," I agree, mouth stuffed full. I swallow, sighing with satisfaction. "You're an excellent cook. My teammate had many compliments about the feast you prepared for us the other day." Ukemochi's whiskers clamp against her cheeks, I assume an otter blush. I take a sip of tea, pausing at the chamomile taste. "Do you grow herbs on the island?" I ask.

Ukemochi shakes her head, "Oh, no. The soil won't allow it. I brewed that from the stock cupboard."

Umisachi perks up on my shoulder, "Mito-hime used to bring us human food supplies. Stuff we couldn't get on the island. Tea, duck eggs, miso." He sighs into my ear, "We haven't had duck eggs and miso for years."

"I'll add it to my shopping list," I say and Umisachi squeaks delightedly into my ear.

Ukemochi clasps her paws, "It is so pleasing to have a summoner again!"

I put the tray aside and shuffle through my weapons pouch, pulling out my notepad and pen, "Anything else you want to add to the list?"

Ukemochi thumps her tail in thought for a few moments, before reeling off a list of vegetables and teas, with the occasional random request for chicken feet and plum sauce. "And duck tongue!" she finishes.

I scan over the three pages of ingredients, "I'll get this to you by the end of the week."

Ukemochi coos and trills, whilst Umisachi nuzzles into my cheek. I laugh, realising the way to an otter's heart is crispy duck pancakes.

I chug the rest of my tea and stand, feeling vaguely human again, "Best get back to Konoha before dark. Otherwise the night watch will have a lot of questions."

Umisachi hops off my shoulder and presses his paws into the ground, there's a tug at my navel and I'm flung backwards, landing in the desert and bracing myself against the rocky outcrop. I push off and start running, the sun already beginning to dip towards the horizon. I pump my muscles with chakra to speed through the long miles, when I spot a lonely shape in the distance. My bow.

I latch out with chakra strings and lasso it towards me, slinging it over my arm. Archery had never let me down, the one constant I had between this life and my past.

Your archery skill has plateaued.

The words cut through me with a vicious sting. I dig in my heels and sprint through the barren landscape. Just wait, I'll prove you wrong.

I slow to a jog when I reach the Village. I follow the main path underneath the Hokage Monument and watch as the hospital crops up and swivels into view. Visiting hours are long gone, but when I slip through the entrance doors the nurses' station is empty so I climb over the desk and flick through the patient book to find Sensei's room.

I enter his room and there, Sensei, limp as a ragdoll on the bed. I activate my right byakugan and scan over him, his chakra is depleted, abdominal muscles strained and torn – but no external damage. His cerebrum is inflamed and swollen, traces of sludgy crimson chakra still coating his optic nerves. Itachi did this. Itachi did this to Sensei.

"Next time Sensei, I'll fire an arrow through that wicked eye," I promise.

I grasp Sensei's hand and thread my chakra around his fingers. Coma patients are mostly unaware of external stimuli, but some things can slip through. I remember Dad used to tell me stories about patients that woke up humming a tune from a song they had heard on the radio months prior or with requests to see their pets because they had picked up on their musky scent during family visits. For someone trapped in that twilight state, it is important to let them know that you're there.

My chakra traces over his palms, gliding over hard calluses. I tap his hand, "Sensei can you use a sword? Like a samurai katana? Have you ever been in a really epic sword fight?"

My mind drifts to old movies, "Like the Bride vs The Crazy 88?" I hum a tune, my faint memory of the soundtrack. "The best fight though is The Bride vs O-Ren. They're in this traditional garden blanketed with snow with one of those…" I fumble for the right word, "Bamboo thingies? Y'know the water feature ones."

"Anyway, at first O-Ren isn't taking the fight seriously, she fights with her sword sheath instead of her blade. But then The Bride slices through her sword sheath, so O-Ren casts it aside like okay now you've got my attention." I retell it, the movie playing out in my mind.

I tap out the tempo of the score on his hand, "So then O-Ren ups her game and pivots around The Bride, slashing her across the back and The Bride collapses. Then O-Ren starts mocking her, like silly rich girl playing with samurai swords. And then she goes, you can't fight like a samurai, but you can die like one. Because you see Sensei, O-Ren's assissanation style is decapitation, so she wants The Bride standing up when she finishes her."

"So The Bride gets up and the fight continues. Then O-Ren goes in for the killshot, right for the head, but The Bride ducks and gashes her across the leg." I twitch, crossing my ankles as a phantom hand clutches my left leg. I shake off the feeling and continue, "O-Ren backs away and that's when her attitude changes completely. She apologises to The Bride for mocking her. Her sincerity actually causes The Bride to doubt taking her revenge for the first time and she sheds tears before the final clash. So then there's the final blows and The Bride spins around and catches O-Ren across the forehead, turning her into a cup head. Y'know, brain on show? She admits defeat to The Bride and falls to her knees. Bows out with a tasteful movie death."

"The sequel isn't as good," I muse, sitting back in the chair, "I wonder if you'd even like Tarantino films. They're very violent and really bloody. You'd probably find the fights too staged and you like reading romance don't you? I never really watched romcoms. Action films were way more fun, y'know the adrenaline high without the danger? Escapism really. I suppose now it'd be the reverse. Is that why you read that crappy soft porn book Sensei? Escapism from shinobi life?"

My chakra loops around his palm, "Sensei did you know I got the idea for my water dragon from a movie? My favourite actually. It's about a girl called Chihiro…"

I wake up with my head bowed against the bed, I must have fallen asleep. I release Sensei's hand and stretch, the joints in my back cracking. "Sensei, do you think I could steal some coffee from the nurses' station? Stealthy, stealthy ninja style, eh? Wish me luck." I say. I slip out of Sensei's room and with deft movement steal away with a full mug of coffee and two slices of castella cake.

I step outside and find the sky black and speckled with stars. I stroll through the streets and settle on a bench, dipping my cake into my coffee and munching on it. A figure appears further up the street and draws closer, the streetlight illuminating Sasuke.

"Cake?" I offer.

"No." He says and stiffly sits down beside me.

"Tough spar with Lee then?" I say.

Sasuke grunts and rolls his shoulders, working out a kink, "Between the three matches, Gai-sensei called it a draw." He glances at me cautiously, "I wanted to spar with your cousin. But he disappeared after you left."

I stuff cake into my mouth and wash it down with coffee.

"Sakura was annoying," Sasuke adds.

I give him a warning glare.

"Her taijutsu is better. She gave Tenten a decent challenge." He admits begrudgingly.

"Good, I'm glad." I say. I stand and offer him the last of my coffee, he eyes it critically before downing it in one shot. We shuffle back to Naruto's apartment, crashing there for another night.

The next morning we step out of the apartment and are halted on the stairs by some men carrying a wardrobe out of one of the second floor apartments. A middle-aged woman in the doorway gives us an apologetic smile, "Sorry dears, do you wanna squeeze past?"

Sasuke walks up the wall over the men and drops down the other side, continuing down the stairs.

"It's not a problem," I say, not minding having to wait. I look past her into the apartment and see a blue-tiled kitchen leading into a sitting room with a sunny balcony and a large bedroom at the back. "Nice apartment. Why are you moving?" I say, unconsciously voicing the thought aloud.

A blush colours the woman's cheeks, "We needed more room." Her hand drifts to the swell of her stomach.

"Oh. Oh congratulations!" I say and the woman laughs, smiling pleased as she cradles her stomach.

"Do you live upstairs?" She asks, gesturing to the staircase.

"Oh no… I'm house sitting. I live -" I cut off, not keen to give the answer, "I'm in between places at the moment."

The woman frowns, "Not with your paren-" she gasps and covers her mouth, "You're a shinobi. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have assumed-"

I raise my hands, "Oh, no. It's fine. It was a long time ago." A lifetime in fact.

The woman lowers in an apologetic bow, which I wave off. She steps back and gestures for me to follow her into the apartment. "If you're interested, the landlord is still looking for applicants." She says.

"Oh, um…" I begin to automatically refuse, before a plan unfurls in my mind, "How much is the rent?"

"Very reasonable," The woman assures.

"And how would you get in touch with the landlord?" I say.

The woman fetches a scrap of paper, scribbles down an address and hands it to me, "Bring some manju with you."

I dip forwards in a low bow, "Thank you very much." I skip out of the apartment and down the stairs.

I jog through the streets to the Hyuuga compound. I take a deep breath and activate my byakugan, rearing back when I see all the servants' have their byakugans activated. Except, they're not looking at me. All heads are turned in the direction of the main courtyard where the heiress stands opposite the junior heiress. The elders lined up along the veranda, Hiashi-sama stands between the two girls. The ranks of the Clan's active shinobi kneel on opposite sides of the courtyard, but Neji is not amongst them.

A spike of concern shoots through me, but I clamp it down. He has his business and I have mine.

I slip inside the compound and dart through the hallways, crouched low beneath window level and chakra lining my feet to absorb any miniscule sound from the cat foot technique. In the courtyard, Hiashi-sama lowers his hand and the two heiresses strike at one another, wispy trails of chakra lighting up the right side of my panoramic range as their jūken clash. I creep into the kitchen and crawl along the adjacent corridor into my bedroom, locating the white envelope and stuffing it inside my weapon's pouch. I commando crawl back out and belly slide into the kitchen, the room closest to the courtyard. There's a bright flare of chakra as the junior heiress lands a strike on the heiress's Gate of Limit, she flails and keels forward, but is beaten back by her sister's barrage of strikes. I slip around the corner and sprint through the hallways, nose to my knees. I reach the compound gates and straighten, back muscles aching with relief as I climb over the wall and drop down on the other side. I turn around and my 180 degree panoramic range flips over, I see the elders in the courtyard all staring at the heiress lying face down in the dirt.

I deactivate my byakugan and walk away.

Following the kind neighbour's instructions, I make my way to the landlord's house. She lives the next street over to the Yamanaka flower shop, which is my first port of call. The doorbell chimes as I enter the shop, Inoichi-oji appears from the back room with a tray of petunias, "Ah Kaori, could you lend me a hand?"

"Sure." I say, following him into the back room. I pick up a trowel and begin repotting the petunias into the blue display pots.

"I was just thinking now that Ino is going to be away on missions, perhaps it is time I should hire some extra hands," Inoichi-oji says.

"You mean someone for Ino to boss around when she gets back?" I joke.

Inoichi-oji chuckles, "She would enjoy that." He passes me another stack of blue pots and turns away to start pruning a rose bush.

We work in silence for a while. The thought pestering me until finally I blurt out, "Aren't you going to ask me? I mean, debrief me?" This man is the Head of T&I after all and if I wanted my plan to succeed, I needed Village authority to usurp that of the Clan.

Inoichi-oji turns, an eyebrow raised, "Debrief you on what exactly?"

I gesture to my covered eye, "On what happened yesterday."

Inoichi-oji lowers his shears, "Jiraiya-sama issued an S-Rank classification on the events that occurred in Otofuku. Other than Gai, you, Sasuke-san and the incoming Kage, all details of that affair are restricted from access even by individuals such as myself."

I consider the high point of his ponytail, tied securely with two hair ties, just like Ino. "But you still know stuff? Don't you? At least enough to put the pieces together?" I press.

Inoichi-oji raises his hand, "Kaori. You're getting close to accusing me of treason."

I fiddle with my trowel, unsure how to proceed.

Inoichi-oji steps closer, "Perhaps if you enlighten me on what you are angling for here. I can help."

I place my trowel down on the table, adjusting it to be parallel to the pot. "If I, as a dutiful shinobi of Konoha, were to act as a result of classified events. To act in a way that serves to protect a vital interest of Konoha, principally with the use of my kekkai genkai as a sensory-type ninja in close proximity to this vital interest. Then the Hyuuga Clan couldn't challenge those actions could they? Without themselves daring towards treason. As I am foremost a shinobi of Konoha."

A rueful smile tugs on Inoichi-oji's lips, "You really are Kakashi's student." He nods at the petunias, "Will you come by tomorrow and help with the shop?"

"Of course," I say and then reevaluate his words, detecting the hidden test, "I'll come by and help in Ino's stead to repay the debt I owe you as a frequent visitor to your home and raider of your sweet cupboard." (Not as a bribe to sway your favour in giving me an official stamp of approval to relocate from Clan grounds).

Inoichi-oji smiles with real warmth, "Great. Nori can have a lie-in tomorrow morning." He returns to pruning the rose bush and I continue repotting the petunias. I'm patting down the last blue pot when Inoichi-oji disappears upstairs to the loft apartment, returning a few minutes later with a scroll stamped with the T&I seal. He hands me the scroll with a sombre expression, "Careful Kaori. Do not make enemies of your clan members."

I tuck the scroll into my weapons pouch, "They were never my allies." I bow politely and exit the shop.

I jog across the street to the Akimichi bakery and buy half a dozen manju cakes. Harumi-san hands me an extra over the till, "Such a pretty girl, but so thin!" I blush and thank her, finishing the red-bean bun in three bites before even leaving the bakery.

Heading onto the landlord's address, I find an old woman sweeping up leaves in the front garden. She looks up at me and leans on her broom, "You look familiar. Aren't you one of the tenants from the Shinjuku block?"

"No, I've actually come to inquire about the vacant apartment in the southern district, the building near the wastewater plant." I say.

The old woman squints, "You know the Fox lives in that building."

I plaster a smile onto my face, "Naruto's my teammate."

The old woman casts a critical eye over me, "You're a ninja. Yes, I know, the Hyuuga with the bow. I thought you were taller." Her gaze locks on the manju, I hand over the bag and she hobbles inside. "Rent is paid first of every month. Your shinobi status covers utilities. No pets, summons or babies." She stops at a desk and stacks up papers, "No ninjutsu and do keep security traps to a minimum. I do not inspect shinobi apartments, but any damage will come out of your deposit."

She hands me the papers and directs me where to sign, the white envelope covering my deposit and first six months of rent. The rest is surprisingly cheap, almost like it was discounted for - well, I'd happily have Naruto as a neighbour. She hands me a key, "Apartment comes unfurnished. Anything you bring, you take at the end of tenancy."

I nod and tuck the key into my jacket pocket. The old woman escorts me to the door, still muttering under her breath that she definitely thought I was taller.

I continue to the market and buy a large sack of rice and then feeling lazy, a rice cooker. I'm at the vegetable stand when a long blue scarf whips around the corner followed by a snotty nose and bright orange pigtails. "Nee-chan!" Team Konohamaru chants as they circle around me.

"Hello," I say, weighing out a kilo of mushrooms.

"Oh Nee-chan! Nee-chan! Where's Naruto-nii? We've been looking for him all morning!" Konohamaru whines.

Naruto's stricken face as he stared at the spilt blood flashes in my mind. I gather myself and swallow, "Naruto is on a mission. He'll be away for a while."

This receives a chorus of whines and pouts. "But Naruto-nii promised to train with us." Konohamaru grumbles, stomping his foot.

Moegi tugs on my jacket, "Nee-chan, Nee-chan, could you train with us? Could you show us your water dragon jutsu?"

"Oh um…," I begin, scrambling for an excuse when an idea occurs to me. "Actually. I have a mission for you. If you're up for it?" I say.

Moegi gasps as Konohamaru straightens to attention, "Yes! We're definitely up for it! What do you have for us Nee-chan?"

Udon shifts uneasily, "I don't know about this Konohamaru… Iruka-sensei said-"

I pat him on the arm, "Don't worry. This is a simple mission. You won't get in trouble."

"C'mon Nee-chan, what is it? What is it?" Konohamaru pesters.

I retrieve Inoichi-oji's scroll from my weapons pouch and hand it to him, "I need you to deliver this to the Hyuuga Clan Head. If he has any questions, your only response is "Classified." This is top secret stuff, do you understand?"

Konohamaru curls his lip, scroll clutched to his chest, "I understand, Nee-chan."

I pull out my storage scroll and hand it to Moegi, "I need you two to go into my bedroom and seal away my belongings. One of the maids can direct you there. And then afterwards deliver this scroll to Naruto's apartment, you know where that is right?"

They both nod, "Understood, Nee-chan."

"Alright you three. I'm counting on you!" I say, throwing in a salute for good measure.

"You can count on us Nee-chan!" The trio chorus, before dashing off.

I pay for my vegetables and head to the convenience store, picking up the basic essentials of miso, soy sauce, ginger and mirin. I return to Naruto's apartment and set up the rice cooker, wash the rice and prepare the vegetables. I open the cupboard and take out an old empty ramen cup, channelling chakra to the bottom and unsealing the makeshift storage scroll I had made a few nights ago to store away the leftovers of Ukemochi's seafood feast. I tilt the cup and pour out a couple oysters and some crab meat. I withdraw my chakra and reseal the cup, putting it back in the cupboard. I dice the meat and braise it, then spoon out the soy sauce, ginger and mirin, chucking everything into the rice cooker and setting it for thirty minutes.

It had been years since I had cooked, any attempts to do so were reprimanded by sharp smacks on the backs of my thighs. The Hyuuga maids would prepare the same bland set of meals on strict rotation, buttered rice and natto for breakfast, green salad and cubed fruit for lunch, steamed fish and plain rice for dinner. The only variation to the set meal plan was on the birthdays of Hiashi-sama and the two heiresses, when they'd bring out the fryer and cook tempura. One of the maids would get up before dawn to spend the whole morning making neri-kiri, ornate rice cakes crafted into flowers and cute bunnies. I'd have to sit and watch in my room as this feast was laid out, the heiress barely touching her food and any leftovers going straight in the bin. During my afternoon naps I'd daydream about food, remembering recipes I used to prepare when I had the freedom of my old kitchen to experiment in. After I met Ino and Sakura I was able to finally break free of the monotony of the set meal plan, sharing bento boxes and joining them at family dinners where Noriko-oba would always generously give me seconds. I don't know what I would have done without my friends.

The rice cooker beeps as I hear a patter of feet up the stairs. I open the door and Team Konohamaru tumble in, sweaty and panting. "We completed the mission Nee-chan!" Moegi beams, handing me my storage scroll.

I lead them to the kitchen table and use a chakra-trick to wash up a few extra bowls, "You hungry?"

"Oh, yeah! What is it?" Konohamaru says, rushing over to the rice cooker. I shoo him away and mix up the rice, before spooning out three portions and carrying the bowls over to the table.

"Careful, it's hot." I warn, even as the boys begin stuffing their faces. Moegi dutifully blows on her, gaining a head pat from me, she gasps and blushes. I collect my portion and join them at the table, "So, anything to report?"

Konohamaru wipes his mouth, "Oh Hyuuga-ojiisan was so grumpy. He kept asking all these questions. And read the scroll like five times. But I did as you said Nee-chan and told him it was "Classified.""

Moegi continues, "We asked one of the cleaning ladies where your room was and she showed us there."

"Yeah. By the way, Nee-chan, it's really small." Konohamaru says, wrinkling his nose. Moegi kicks him under the table and he yelps in pain.

"We packed up your stuff into the special scroll," Udon says, picking up the story.

"Udon couldn't work the scroll! But I could!" Moegi boasts, waggling her fingers at me.

"Well done. Storage scrolls can be tricky." I say and she blushes again, grinning at her rice bowl.

"But then Bakabi showed up," Udon grumbles.

"Bakabi?" I echo.

"Baka-Hanabi," Konohamaru scoffs, folding his arms.

The junior heiress? They called her Bakabi? The heiress had nicknames at the Academy too, mainly about her eyes which given the reputation of the byakugan was laughable, except it's Kid Logic.

"She said we were stealing!" Moegi shouts.

"Stealing from the Hyuuga." Konohamaru mocks in a high-pitched voice, hands on hips.

"But we weren't! Cos we were getting your stuff!" Moegi says, banging her fist on the table.

"Completing the mission." Udon adds, nodding into his bowl.

"Yeah! We were completing the mission!" Konohamaru shouts, spitting rice across the table. "So we told Bakabi to go stuff it, because no one gives her missions." He sneers.

"Yeah!" Moegi and Udon chant.

Three chibi faces stare at me expectantly, seafood rice smeared on their cheeks. "Seconds?" I say.

"Yes, please, Nee-chan!" They chant in unison.

I collect their bowls and return to the rice cooker. "Bakabi," I repeat to myself and laugh.