Dio has a secret, and not your typical one. He does his best to keep it a secret, making sure no one knows what it is. He's had this secret since he was 12, he's 17 now.
All this time, Dio thought something was wrong with him for having this secret, that he, Dio, was ill in the head for it. He decided a long time ago to stop worrying about that, and just manage his secret from being exposed.
He was so confident that no one would ever find out, but little did he know that his dearest brother Jonathan would soon discover his secret and react in a way he wouldn't expect.
…
Dio walked down the hall, nodding occasionally at the servants who greeted him. It had been a long day of work and he was feeling stressed. When he got to his room he opened his door and made sure to lock it behind him, not wanting anyone to disturb him.
Once he knew he was completely alone he sighed heavily, feeling a small bout of shame for what he was about to do, shame he felt every time he did this particular thing of his.
God, if anyone ever found out…
No, no one will find out. He's making sure of it. No one has to know what he does.
He starts to undress himself and lays his clothes down on his bed, making sure not to wrinkle them. Once that's done he folds them and puts them away, going back to his bed naked, holding a small key. Dio unlocks a drawer in his bedside table and pulls it open.
Inside are a few things, a big pacifier, a baby bottle, a jar of well water, a stuffed toy resembling a bat, baby powder, and a few cloth nappies with some safety pins.
He takes the light blue pacifier and slides the nipple between his lips and past his teeth, sucking softly on it. He hums lightly, feeling his stress starting to fade away.
He then grabs the baby bottle and sets it on the table, making sure it isn't too close to the edge.
Dio reaches and touches the soft fur of the bat stuffie, feeling the soft fuzz of the toy under his fingertips. It tickles lightly as he touches it, eliciting a tiny giggle from him. He picks up the stuffie and gives it a big hug, holding it close to him.
And last but not least, Dio reaches for a nappy and the baby powder, grabbing one of each and taking a safety pin with it. He puts the toy down and lays the nappy on the bed, opening it up.
He carefully lays down on the bed, his butt on top of the nappy. He grabs the powder and sprinkles a light covering over his crotch, making sure not to get it on his bed sheets. He then grabs the font of the nappy and pulls it up to cover himself, holding it in place so it doesn't fall back down. With his other hand he grabs the right side of the nappy and pulls it towards the front of the nappy, holding it in place with the front. Then he grabs the left side of the nappy and brings it towards the front. Once he has a hold of all three parts he takes the safety pin and secures it in place.
All done.
Dio looks over to the mirror and smiles, feeling so much better than before. He giggles lightly as he grabs his stuffie again and starts to play with it. He grabs the wings and makes the bat fly.
"Whoosh! Zoom! Hissss!" Dio murmurs, adding sound effects to the bats flying.
He makes the bat land on his knee, petting it lightly and enjoying the feel of the fur. He's about to play more when he starts to feel thirsty.
He places the bat on the bed and gets up, grabbing his baby bottle and the jar of well water. He undoes the lid of the jar and pours the water into his bottle. Once it's full he secures the cap of the bottle back on and puts away the jar. He would have preferred warm milk, but getting it from the kitchen was too risky, and if he left it in his drawer it would spoil.
And goes back to his bed and sits down, pressing his back against his pillows, holding the bottle to his lips. He starts to slowly drink the water, enjoying the refreshing feel of it on his tongue. He closes his eyes and relaxes, swallowing carefully as the bottle empties more and more. He lightly chews on the nipple but stops before he pierces it. He can feel the water entering his stomach, making his tummy feel nice and full. Once he finishes the bottle he puts it back in his drawer, placing it correctly so it won't break.
"Mmm, 'm full, Vampy." He says to the bat, who is named Vampy.
He starts to yawn, stretching his limbs and falling down flat on his back on the bed.
"Vampy, 'm sweepy. Are you?"
He looks to Vampy for an answer, and slowly nods the bat's head.
He smiles weakly and says,
"Time fo' bed."
He manages to drag his tired body under the sheets, taking Vampy with him. Once he's tucked himself in he puts out his gas lamp and lets the room darken.
He snuggles Vampy close to him.
"Goo nigh, Vampy."
And with that, he falls asleep.
...
Dio awakes slowly, the sun shining through the small crack of his windows drapes. He blinks the sleepiness from his eyes. He stretches and feels the soft fuzz of Vampy against his bare chest.
As he sits up he notices his crotch feels wet. He pulls back the covers and discovers his nappy is wet. He puts one hand on the nappy and lightly squeezes it, feeling the soggy fabric move under his fingers.
"I made an uh oh." He says, getting up from his bed and standing.
He checks to make sure his nappy didn't leak onto his sheets, luckily it didn't. He feels the weight of his nappy sagging between his legs, enjoying the feeling. He sighs happily and walks to his bathroom. Once inside he undoes his nappy and places the safety pin on the sink counter. Dio takes the wet nappy and puts it in the sink, turning the water on and grabbing a bar of soap. Ideally he would have a maid clean it for him, but that would mean someone would know, so he carefully washes it with gentle care by himself.
He admires the pattern of the fabric, looking at the little bats that adorn it. This one was one of his favorites out of the four nappies he had made himself. Yes, Dio had in fact made them himself, not wanting to ask a tailor to do so. He had grown up watching his mother sew, taking in account the stitches she would make and how she measured the fabric. He had even asked her to teach him, much to his fathers dismay.
So when Dio was 12 and moved to live with the Joestars, he had realized he could finally pursue feeding his desire, using his allowance from George to go to the fabric store to buy four different patterns he liked so he could make his own nappies. He spent many late nights working on them, making sure not to waste any of the precious fabric he had bought. And with all his hard work he had managed to make them and be very happy with the results. He had picked four patterns for them, the first being his favorite, the cute little black bats with a background of purple, his second being a soft blue with little ducks on it, the third being a green fabric with white hearts on it, and the fourth being a dark night sky full of stars. He had made up an excuse that it was for his mother since he was going to be having a sibling, luckily the owner believed him.
He finished washing it and hung it to dry, he wasn't worried about a maid finding it since he made sure they knew not to go in his bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror, seeing his golden hair all mussed from sleep. Normally he was prim and proper, but when he indulged in his secret he was the exact opposite, becoming more messy and carefree. He looked down and remembered he still had to clean himself, a quick bath should do the trick.
Dio goes to the tub and turns on the water, letting it warm up before plugging the drain. He sticks his hand in the water, feeling the warm, but not hot water against his skin. He slowly steps into the bath and sinks down into the water, enjoying the warm and wet environment encasing him. He sighs contently as he sits there, feeling his muscles further relax.
He's all alone with no one to bother him, just him and the bath. He gets to actually bathing and rubs the bar of soap across himself, making sure to properly wash himself. When he's done he rinses off and stands up, getting out of the tub and wrapping a towel around himself. He pulls the plug from the drain and watches the water start to spin and become less and less full. He uses the towel to dry himself off and makes sure he doesn't have a drop of water left on him.
Dio goes back to his room and to his closet, gazing at his vast selection of clothing. He has many outfits in there, but choosing which one is difficult. For a second he wishes he could just wear something he could easily play in, something a child might wear but made in his size. He pushes away that thought, knowing he has to keep up appearances and remain the prim and proper Dio that everyone sees him as. He eventually picks something and lays it on his bed, picking up one item of clothing after another to start dressing himself. Once he's done he grabs his stuffie Vampy and hugs him close, not wanting to let go.
"Goodbye, Vampy. I'll see you later."
He let's go and puts the stuffie back in his drawer with the rest of his secret things and locks it shut, hiding the key somewhere he knows no one will look for it.
Alright, time to act my age.
He closes his eyes for a moment and tries to shake away the feeling of being little, it's hard but he manages to do it. The little in him is sad to go but understands.
He grabs the doorknob and leaves his room, walking down the hall to breakfast.
…
Tick tick tick tick tick
The clock in the library is ticking away as he works on his school work, sounding like a faint heartbeat as he taps his pen along with it. He's been sitting there for two hours, he's finished five assignments but is extremely stressed about the two he has left. The first five were hard to complete, not for a lack of intelligence, but rather a lack of concentration. His mind is on other things, things he'd rather not remember. He had been reading a book for his class when in the story the main character was getting beat badly by his father, which triggered awful memories of his own father beating him as a child.
"You good for nothing brat, I told you to sell that whore's dress!" Dario says, throwing an empty bottle of beer at Dio, the bottle breaking when it makes contact with Dio's arm he had put up for protection.
Dio cries out as he feels the sharp cut of the broken glass slice his arm open, nicking his skin and making him bleed. He sobs hard as his father continues to yell at him, saying horrible things that he'd never forget.
"I wish you were never born!" Dario's voice echoes.
"I wish you were never born…" Dio mumbles to himself, not noticing the tears starting to prickle at his eyes. He closes his fist and squeezes hard, trying to remove the emotional pain with physical strain.
No, no his father isn't here, he's dead.
But that doesn't make it hurt any less.
Drip drip drip
Tears start to fall down Dio's cheeks and onto the desk, causing his sheet of paper to get stained. He gives in to his sorrow and lets himself cry, glad that he's alone at the moment so no one can see him in such a weak state. He sobs openly, voice hiccuping as he tries to catch his breath.
Drip drip drip
His sheet of paper is ruined now, his tears not just staining it but making the ink he placed on it run, going down and blurring into an unintelligible mess.
Damn it, now my work is ruined too!
This only makes him cry harder.
It's not fair! Why do things like this always happen to me, Dio?
He feels him body shaking, tremors running through him as he cries hard.
He starts to see his fathers face again.
No, no! Stay away!
God he wants to be in his room where he's safe, he wants Vampy, he wants his bottle, he wants his nappy… he wants his mother.
He sobs more and starts to see someone approaching him. He can't make out their face through his teary eyes but he has a bad feeling about them.
"Dio!" The voice calls out to him as it gets closer.
No, no it can't be, is it his father?
"Dio." It calls again
The figure is getting too close, Dio is scared and can't help but think it's his father.
Father, father no!
The figure is right in front of him.
"Please don't hit me, father!"
"Father? Dio, it's me!"
Dio snaps out of his state and finally sees who's in front of him. It's Jonathan. Stupid, worthless Jonathan. The idiot must have heard Dio from down the hall.
"J-Jojo?" Dio says, trying to focus.
"Yes it's me. Why are you crying?"
Dio's face flushes as he realizes what's going on. Jonathan has caught him crying, and to make matters worse he mistook him for his father.
No, no! Dio couldn't be seen in such a state of weakness! No one can!
He narrows his eyes and gets angry.
"I'm not crying, now leave me alone!" He tries to shoo Jonathan away. It doesn't work.
"You can't lie to me, I can see you crying as clear as day." He says softly.
Dio tried to control his sobs but couldn't, still crying as Jonathan confronted him.
Jonathan looks at Dio and frowns, something sparkles in his eyes.
No! Don't you dare look at me with pity!
Before Dio can think further, a pair of strong arms wrap around him, embracing him.
"Huh!?" He gasps.
"It's okay Dio, you don't have to tell me why you're upset, just know I'm here for you." Jonathan says as he rubs circles into Dio's back.
Dio snarls and tries to push Jonathan away from him.
"Unhand me, I don't need your bloody sentiments!" He cries, but Jonathan has a vice grip on him.
"Shhh, it's okay just relax and let it out."
No, he Dio would not accept a hug from Jonathan. Never!
He continues to struggle, desperately scratching and pulling at Jonathan's arms. He feels so nice and warm, comforting.
But Dio doesn't take comfort, nor does he give it.
"Let me go! Let me-"
Jonathan presses Dio's head to his chest, further embracing him to hold him close.
Dio finds himself struggling to fight back, feeling himself want to relax and enjoy Jonathan's hold. His comforting and loving embrace. He pounds his fists against Jonathan to the best of his ability, but to no avail.
He feels so weak, this only makes him cry harder. He finally gives in and just lets Jonathan hold him, his loving hug making him feel better. He sobs into Jonathan's chest, temporarily not caring about how he sounds.
"Shhh, it's okay." Jonathan whispers into Dio's hair as he gently rubs small circles into his back, soothing the other boy. Dio sobs for a few more minutes before he finally calms down. This time Jonathan lets him pull away, looking at Dio's red face as he sniffles. Jonathan's shirt is soaked from Dio's tears, but that's the least of his worries.
"Are you okay, Dio?"
Dio doesn't look at him, he's too ashamed of what happened to do so. How could he let this happen? The shame itself makes him want to cry all over again. Dio decides not to answer Jonathan, but rather jump out of his chair and dash out of the library.
"D-Dio! Wait!"
He doesn't listen, he just runs to his room. He speeds down the halls, ignoring the stares from the servants as he races towards his door. He throws the door open and rushes in, slamming it behind him. He huffs as he tries to catch his breath, panting as he slowly looks over to his bedside table's drawer. It's a little early for him to be indulging right now, but he doesn't care. He snatched the hidden key and fumbled to put it in the lock. Once unlocked he quickly grabs Vampy and his pacifier, slipping the pacifier in and hugging Vampy close to him. He cries lightly as he holds Vampy, feeling a mixture of shame and comfort.
Why did he need this? Of all things why this?
And why did Jonathan have to barge in and find him crying? Why did he have to ruin Dio's image?
He sucks hard on the nipple of his pacifier, trying to soothe himself as best as he can. He starts to shake as intrusive thoughts start to plague him.
Disgusting perverted shameful baby, you're sick for doing things like this.
He cries harder and squeezes Vampy even tighter. He just wants to feel safe, he just wants to feel safe, he just wants to feel safe-
A knock at his door is what breaks him out of his thoughts. He turns to look at his door.
"Dio, I'm sorry for scaring you. I just want to make sure you're okay." Jonathan's voice sounds through the door.
Dio freezes, remembering he didn't lock the door. He sees the door knob start to turn, and he panics.
"If you open that door I'll never forgive you!" He shouts.
The door knob is let go and the door remains closed.
"Okay Dio, I'm going to leave you be for now. Please feel better."
Jonathan's foot steps start to disappear around the corner before finally fading away. Dio quickly goes to his door and locks it, making sure it's shut. Once he's sure he slides down to the floor and hugs Vampy to his chest. He still has his pacifier in his mouth, he sucks on it lightly. If Jonathan had opened that door, it would have been over. Luckily it didn't happen, and Dio could rest somewhat easily.
But the fact that Jonathan had already seen him so weak kept him from feeling peace. What would he do? Would he tell George? Would he treat him differently? Would he use this against him? No, Jonathan is too soft for that. The stress starts to give him a headache, so he picks himself up and lays down on his bed, the feeling of the soft sheets under him make him relax a little, feeling his jaw become less tense and less harsh on the nipple of his pacifier. He sighs heavily, sinking further into the sheets, he's beginning to feel sleepy.
But it's only 12:30, he thinks, but his body can't help but relax more and more.
Maybe just a quick nap…
…
Knock! Knock!
Dio awakes suddenly, startled by the loud knocking sound on his door. Who was there, and why were they bothering him? He takes his pacifier out of his mouth, mourning the loss.
"Who is it?" He asks, afraid of how his voice will sound.
"It's me Dio, father told me to get you since it's dinner time." It was clearly Jonathan's voice.
Dinner time, how long had he slept? He was just meant to take a thirty minute nap.
Damn it
Dio takes out his pacifier.
"I'll be there shortly, you can leave now."
There's a pause of silence for a moment before Jonathan simply tells him ok and leaves. Dio sighs, looking at the clock in his room. It reads 6:00 pm. He gathered himself together and got ready for dinner, quickly strolling down the hall to the dining area.
…
Dinner was normal as ever, George asked the boys how their day was, Jonathan was a slob that talked with his mouth full, and Dio was polite as ever. But one thing was different, and that was Jonathan would occasionally glance over at Dio with a look of concern. Dio hated the look, wanting to bash Jonathan's face in just for looking at him like that. But no, if he wanted the Joestar fortune he had to keep Jonathan in one piece, for now at least. He did his best to ignore Jonathan and ate his food, wanting dinner to be over so he could escape Jonathan's stare.
When dinner finally ended Dio stood up, bid George and Jonathan good night and left for his room. As he walked he started to hear footsteps behind him. He turned his head to see who was following only to find that bumbling oaf, Jonathan. He cringes inside, not letting it reach his face. Jonathan stops and stares at Dio for a moment.
"Can I help you?" Dio asks, trying not to sound venomous.
Jonathan blushes for a moment, unsure what to say.
"Um, it's just… are you alright? Why did you say "please don't hit me father" earlier?"
Dio freezes for a moment, unsure how to respond to that. He then glares at Jonathan.
"That's none of your damn business." He says and starts to walk further down the hall. Jonathan quickly runs up to and in front of him, blocking his path.
"You're right, it isn't my business. But you still haven't answered my other question."
Dio raises his eyebrow.
"Are you okay? Do you need to talk about anything, because I'm here for you if you want to talk about anything." Jonathan says, looking at Dio with worry and care. God Dio hated it.
"I'm fine. Besides, why do you care?" Dio hisses.
"Because you're my brother and I care about you, and also because earlier you were crying in my arms." Dio becomes enraged at the mention of his weakness.
"Do not mention that! I will not be humiliated a second time by being reminded of it by you, Jojo!" He points his finger at Jonathan and pokes him in the chest when he says his name. Jonathan's eyes soften.
"Oh, Dio. There's no reason to be embarrassed, everybody cries from time to time. It's natural." He reassures Dio. Dio looks at him with disgust.
"It is not "natural" for me. And I, Dio, refuse to cry or let anyone witness such a state of weakness."
Jonathan looks at him again with those soft eyes.
"Dio, you're not weak for letting that happen. Crying is about healing, so hopefully you feel a little bit better."
Dio scoffs at him.
"Sure, Jojo, and crying when milk is spilt is reasonable too." He says sarcastically.
"Say what you want, Dio, but I'm telling you you're not weak for crying. I think you're strong for crying."
Dio almost barfs.
"Ugh, stop, you're going to make me sick with all this bullshit you're saying! I'm tired of hearing it."
He tries to push past Jonathan but is blocked.
"Let me go, Jojo." He says coldly.
Jonathan just looks at him, as if he's searching for something in Dio's eyes.
"You're hiding something from me, aren't you?"
Dio tried not to react. Could Jonathan somehow know about his secret? No, no he couldn't! Dio was very good at making sure no one would suspect anything. There's no way he could know.
"Now you're just reaching for straws. As if I have anything to hide." Dio says, smirking.
Jonathan looks at him for a moment.
"You can deny it but there is something you aren't telling me about, and I will find out what. I want to help you, Dio, and I will."
Before Dio can reply, Jonathan walks away and disappears. Dio is left speechless. Was Jonathan really going to try and uncover his well kept secret? Would he find out and look at Dio with disgust and make fun of him? He doesn't know, but all he knows is that he has to be extra vigilant.
He finishes his journey up to his room and locks the door behind him, double checking just in case. Once he's reassured that it's locked he grabs the hidden key and opens his drawer, taking out the necessary items for the night. He takes his blue pacifier and puts it in his mouth, sucking worriedly on it. Could Jonathan really suspect something? He contemplates that as he reaches for a nappy, tonight's being the one with white hearts with a green background. He tries to smile as he looks at the pattern, but his worries are starting to really stress him out. He is supposed to be relaxing when he's getting his things, not stressing! Hopefully finishing the process will calm him down.
He undresses and puts the nappy on, enjoying the feel of the soft fabric as it wraps around him. He's starting to feel much better, there's no way Jonathan knows, he could never guess something like this and would never figure it out. He reaches into the drawer and pulls out his beloved Vampy, squeaking lightly with joy as he grabs him, holding him up in the air.
"Hi Vampy! Did you miss me?" He says. He nods the bat's head and giggles.
"I missed you too! I was sad and wonley without chu." He hugs Vampy close to him and giggles again.
"I'm so excited to pway! What should we pway?"
He looks at the bat for a moment, as if waiting for a response. His eyes brighten.
"Yes! We should pway bank robbers!"
He giggles and takes Vampy into his right hand.
"Awight, this is robbewy! Give me all your money and no one gets hurt!"
He takes Vampy's wings and raises them as a sign of surrender.
"Now that's how I wike it! Put the money in the bag!"
He makes Vampy put imaginary cash into an imaginary bag.
"Thank you! Now I shall go commit other cwimes!"
Dio then gets off his bed and pretends to exit the imaginary bank with his earnings. Once the game is over he goes back to his bed and grabs Vampy again, giggling with glee.
"That was so fun, Vampy! We should do it again sometime!"
Dio continues to play with Vampy until he starts to feel thirsty.
"Time for wa wa." He says, reaching into his drawer for his refilled jar of well water.
He pours the water into the baby bottle and seals it tightly. Dio schooches over to his pillows and lays against them, making them prop him up. He takes Vampy and holds him by one wing for comfort. He brings the nipple to his lips and starts to drink the cool water, slowly sipping it. He closes his eyes and enjoys the feeling of the cool water going down his throat, moaning lightly as he sips more of it down. When he finishes he puts the bottle back in his drawer. He rubs his tummy and smiles.
"All full." He says quietly.
He sighs happily and picks up Vampy, giving him a quick kiss on the nose, he giggles. He gets under the covers and tucks himself in, holding Vampy close. He then puts out the lamp.
"Goo nigh Vampy, I wuv you."
Dio slowly drifts off to sleep.
…
Jonathan is standing at Dio's door, ear pressed against the wood of it to try and listen to what was going on the other side of the door. He's having a hard time understanding what Dio's doing, and more importantly, why is Dio using baby talk?
Why is Dio talking like a babe? And who is he talking to? And who or what was "Vampy"?
Jonathan is more confused than he was before, unsure of just what Dio was doing in there. Maybe this is part of what Dio's hiding, maybe it's a clue that he needs to decipher. He's determined to find out.
He decided that tomorrow he'll eavesdrop on Dio in the morning to get more information. He knew spying wasn't very gentlemanly, but he was worried about Dio and wanted to figure out what was going on with him. He turns and quietly walks to his own room, leaving without a trace.
Author's note: I added more to this chapter, and I will reposting this story on Archive of our own when I get an account.