Prologue
They were cold, dark, and empty; those eyes of his. His eyes have seen many things. So much hate, and ignorance. Yet, he still gives everything he is to those people. He gives everything he has to smile away the bad thoughts.
His peers say it isn't good for him to bottle up his emotions. It doesn't matter, though. He is expendable.
It hurt him to think that way, and it affects the others around him as well; it's just so hard to think better of himself.
He knows he should ignore the glares, and the whispers.
He knows he should pay more attention to his friends and the ones who care about him. It's just so difficult when all you've heard growing up were insults; all the attention you've had was negative.
He tries to understand, he really does. They're afraid, and he knows that! It's hard to forgive your abusers, though. Almost as hard as it is to forgive yourself.
Now, he hasn't really done anything that needs to be forgiven. He blames himself sometimes, is all.
Sometimes he blames himself for Sasuke running away, and for the civilians hatred towards him. Even the little things. Like, Sakura-chan getting grazed by a kunai on a mission, or Kaka-sensei having to save him all the time. He feels guilty even when there's nothing to be guilty about!
He knows it's irrational, and that he's not to blame, but he can't help it! It's been his mindset for all his life. 'Keep everyone safe, don't be a burden, make yourself matter.' It's how it's always been.
He can't rely on his friends to fix all of his problems for him. He can't be a burden to them, or else they won't want to be around him. They'll abandon him, and he'll be alone again.
He knows they won't, and he knows he could rely on them, but his thoughts won't let him behave rationally. The paranoia won't leave him, no matter what he does. Not the normal paranoia for a shinobi to have, no, but the social paranoia.
'What if they leave, what if Sakura-chan won't hang out with me anymore, what if Kaka-sensei thinks I'm stupid, what if Ero-Sennin thinks I'm helpless and gives up trying to teach me, what if they all actually hate me, what if-'
All of those thoughts hold him back. The 'what if's, and the 'I'm not good enough' s. But none of those thoughts hold a candle to, (as he's dubbed them), the 'Bad Day Thoughts'.
'You should jump of the Hokage Mountain, you're worthless, you'd be better off dead, you're a horrible person, nobody cares about you, you should just kill yourself, nobody would even miss you if you were gone-'
That being said, this is a story about Uzumaki Naruto's Good Days, his Bad Days, and the day he gets help.