Hey, hello everyone, yes, I'm still alive (though nobody gives the crap about it) hope everyone is doing okay. Before you read this one-shot, I decided to write a short introduction. This story is a parody of one comedy number that I really liked, so the character and behavior of the characters here is changed a lot, so you should NOT take this story seriously. Plus, I'm a bad writer, so I'm sorry if there are a lot of mistakes here. And the last thing, a huge shoutout and thank you goes to The Charismatic for editing this story and correcting my mistakes. Aaaand that's all I wanted to say, and it would be nice to hear your opinion on this one-shot. Hope you'll enjoy and have a good day.
Editor: The Charismatic
Heyo! I'm helping G0F by editing this to proper English grammar, help it flow better, you know? Loving the story btw. Peace out!
Night time. It was quiet in a small strawberry garden, the wind rustling the leaves of the trees overhead, shading the small plants from the soft glow of the Moon. Other than that, the air was still. Silent. That is, until somebody sneezed. Three faces appeared from under the camouflaged net next to the strawberry sprouts. The faces belonged to Marshall, Zuma and Chase.
«Zuma, quiet!» Chase hissed. "This is an ambush. We have to be silent. Quiet as a mouse.» Marshall nodded.
«I inhaled an ant.» Zuma whispered back.
«Well stop sniffing ants.» Chase ordered. «Where did you even find them?»
«There are a lot of them here, it looks like I'm laying down on an anthill.» Zuma was beginning to feel a little itchy too.
«Great…Just, try to focus on the task at hand. Besides, the anthill isn't a mine, it isn't gonna blow up.» Chase concluded.
«Chase, what are we going to do with the man who's stealing Ryder's strawberries Once we catch him?» Marshall interjected, breaking off the conversation. Zuma huffed and set his gaze on the strawberry patch.
«We will catch him, or her, or it, or them, I still don't know, and we'll hand them over to Ryder. He'll decide what to do with him, or with them. Again, I don't know how many there are, or if it's a girl or guy or an it.» Chase said. He was kind of worried. He had no idea who or what was stealing the strawberries. He just knew he didn't want to have to deal with whatever it was. That wasn't his department.
«What if these aren't people?» Zuma said suddenly. «What if it's a zombie?»
«Then don't worry.» Chase answered. «If it's a zombie, then you're safe.»
«Why?» The Labrador asked.
«Because they eat brains!»
«Do you mean-«
«Exactly.» Chase interrupted him. Zuma looked both scares and relieved at the same time.
«Chase, have you ever been in an ambush like this before?» Marshall asked.
«Yeah, happened once.» The Shepherd answered.
«Will you tell us?» His friends begged, clearly intrigued.
«I won't tell you anything, this is a unique case, okay?» Chase liked to keep his work confidential. His previous work was on a need-to-know basis. And nobody needed to know.
«Come on Chase!» The Dalmatian continued. «I'll give you a meatball from Mr. Porter's if you tell us…»
«Well…..I don't know guys.» Chase hesitated. Thinking of that juicy meatball made his mouth water. God he loved those things. «Uhhhh….Okay fine, I'll tell was a long time ago. Long story short, we found expired dog food. I had been the one to find it, naturally, but I didn't know it was expired. That whole situation ended up as an ambush for a whole half day. Understood?»
«A very instructive story.» Marshall said. «And, here's your meatball.»
Just then, like a bolt from the blue, Zuma sneezed again, even louder this time. His friends looked at him in bewilderment. Chase wasn't impressed.
«Zuma, what's wrong?» Chase said sternly. «You suddenly remembered that you can sneeze? We went over this!»
«Ants are everywhere!» The Labrador retorted. «Everywhere you look, there are ants. Millions upon millions of them, so many they could probably carry me away.»
«How?» Chase said. Science also wasn't his department.
«Well, that's actually possible.» Marshall joined the conversation. He loved science. «Did you know that an ant is capable of lifting fifty times its own weight?»
«That gives me a good idea for a training exercise.» Chase thought out loud. «After tomorrow's training you two will be as strong as ants. Ratio wise, of course. I need to transfer two tons of cement from a warehouse so that'll be useful.» Marshall and Zuma groaned.
Suddenly, the trio heard someone approaching. They lay down low, hidden beneath the camouflage net. «If only it wasn't zombies» Zuma said quietly, to which Chase barked «Shut up.» The footsteps grew louder, and the friends heard a familiar voice humming a song. They looked closely and recognized a face through the darkness. It was Ryder himself. He picked two berries and began to eat.
«Chase, this is-« Marshall began, but was interrupted by Chase.
«I see.»
«What should we do?» Zuma asked.
«I'm thinking.»
«What if we-« The Dalmatian wanted to suggest.
«No, no one will wake him up.» Chase objected.
«Is Ryder a zombie?!» Zuma began to panic.
«Zuma, shut up!» The shepherd demanded. «He's not a zombie, he's a sleepwalker.»
As if that weren't enough, the Labrador felt his nose itch. He took a deep breath and sneezed.
«Quiet you! We shouldn't wake lunatics up.» Chase covered Zuma's mouth.
There was silence. It looks like they had been discovered, the mission had failed. Ryder froze.
«Ryder? Ryder Sir?» Chase tried to catch his sleepwalking master's attention, but there was no answer. Ryder continued to stare at the same point. «Great job Zuma. You broke him! He's unresponsive. What do we do now?» Chase stomped in frustration.
«Maybe we should try to hit him with something, you know, wake him up maybe?» Marshall said. «Mr. Wingnut always does that when his TV doesn't work, and it helps.»
«What a comparison! Ryder is a 15-year-old, and Mr. Wingnut's TV is 55! It's no wonder he has to wack it!»
«Well, then hit weaker than the TV.» Marshall said quietly.
«I'll hit you myself!» Chase shot back. «Ugh, what to do, what to do?... Oh, I got an idea. Zuma, sneeze again, maybe it'll work reverse, maybe you're a shaman and it'll wake Ryder up.»
«How to make it? Sneeze backwards or upside down or what?» The labrador was surprised and confused.
«Man, just sneeze, okay? Can you or what?»
Zuma and Marshall exchanged glances. They shrugged. Zuma was confused, and didn't know what to do, so he just said «Achoo».
«Are you kidding me? Sneeze like you did before!» The shepherd was indignant.
«I can't intentionally sneeze man, I don't know how to control it!»
«To sneeze, you have to pull a hair out of your nose.» Marshall said.
«Marshall.» Chase looked at him reproachfully. Marshall snapped his head over in Chase's direction, ready. «Take action.»
Zuma realized what was going to happen, so he wanted to run, but didn't have time. Marshall flipped him over onto back and began trying to get the hair out of his nose, while Chase held the Labrador's paws. Three seconds passed and after a rough and tumble struggle and a little "Ouch!" from the unfruitful Lab, Marshall exclaimed «Done!»
«Hair?» The Shepherd asked just to be sure.
«Better. An ant!» Marshall exclaimed.
Then the two heard Zuma breathing in and quickly began to hide themselves, spurred on by Chase, who was frantically whispering, «Under the net! Under the net!» Finally, Zuma sneezed even louder than before, a crescendous "AAAAAAACCHHOOOOOOOOO!". Instantly, Ryder continued humming some kind of song, turned around and headed back to where he had come from, continuing to eat the remaining strawberry. The three crawled out from under the camouflage net and breathed a sigh of relief.
«Guys, can you imagine? I'm a shaman!» Zuma wheezed. He laughed a weak laugh.
«You're an idiot Zuma!» Chase answered, shaking his head. "What are we supposed to do with that anyway?»
«What do you mean? Go to people, heal them! When I sneeze, people are healed of this kind of disease!» Zuma was imagining. It was genius.
«Then you need to collect more ants.» Marshall added.
«Oh yeah!» Zuma exclaimed, hopping up. "I need a jar."
«Shut up, both of you!» Chase exclaimed. «I'm talking about how to explain to Ryder that he's stealing strawberries from himself when he sleeps.»
«Hmmm, you have to be tentative about it, so as not to look like a fool in front of him.» Marshall said matter-of-factly, and Zuma agreed, but then realized the flaw and corrected themselves. «So YOU… don't look like a fool.» They said to the shepherd. They chuckled.
«I know, I know, I will provide a report on the night ambush. Give me five minutes, I will think of something. And be quiet.» Chase said, closed his eyes, sat down, and lowered his head to the grass.
«Hey Marshall, do you have a matchbox?» Zuma whispered.
«Here.» The Dalmatian pulled out a matchbox from the small satchel he had been carrying. He loved the feeling of it around his neck, and had gotten it recently from a dumpster Rocky had been cleaning it out. He had been wearing it constantly for the past 5 days. And he carried a lot of random and weird stuff in it. «Why do you need it?»
«I want to collect ants. This matchbox should do.»
«Guys, shut up!» Chase almost shouted, scaring Zuma and making Marshall trip. The two laughed.
Chase ignored them and continued to think about how to tell Ryder what he, Marshall and Zuma saw. But then, Chase heard someone's voice. He knew immediately who the melodic voice belonged to – the very girl he loved.
«Chase, Chase! I wanted to tell you something…» Her voice sounded perfect, but Chase didn't understand where it was coming from. He turned his head, looking around but seeing no one else other than he, Marshall and Zuma. «Tell Ryder that the ants steal strawberries.» Her voice was getting quieter and quieter, seeming to fade into the night sounds, slowly.
«What?» Chase was surprised, and confused. He stood up. «Wait, no, don't go!» he shouted to the thin air. Zuma and Marshall stopped collecting ants to look at Chase and... Whatever he was doing.
«Chase… Chase...» He continued to hear the voice, but that voice was gradually being lost. «Chase… Chase. Chase!» Marshall suddenly shouted, breaking Chase out of the trance of the beautiful voice
«AH!» Sheepdog shuddered, he returning to reality. He blinked. «What? Why are you calling me?» he said.
«I said, let's tell Ryder that the ants steal strawberries.» Marshall answered. «Are you asleep?»
«No. Of course not. I'm on duty.» Chase stated firmly. «And you?»
«Uh, we were talking to you.» The Dalmatian explained with a "duh" expression.
«While you were messing around here, I came up with a plan.» The shepherd answered. «Let me explain. Suddenly, they heard footsteps approaching the garden area. They froze. "Wait, he's coming again!" Chase whispered hoarsely. "Hide!»
They all ran and sucked beneath the camouflage net. It was Ryder again. He walked to the seedlings again and sang the same song none of them knew. However, when he approached the seedlings, he stopped and looked right at the camouflage net.
«I don't get it, Chase, where are the berries?» He asked suddenly.
«Ryder? Are you awake?» All three pups were surprised, rising to their paws.
«I'm not sleeping, but you seem to have a good sleep. Why were eleven berries, but now there are eight? Where are five more?» Ryder was outraged.
«Now I understand why when Everest comes over, there is always more food than needed.» Marshall whispered in Zuma's ear. Zuma giggled.
«Ryder sir, we have found out everything, and have established the reason for the loss of your strawberries.» Chase reported. He breathed. «…Ants steal strawberries.»
«Ants?» Ryder was outraged.
«These ants!» Zuma held out the matchbox. «I gathered all of them.»
«That's right, it turns out they can lift fifty times their own weight." Marshall said informatively.
«Wow, strong little guys. How many are there?» Ryder asked and took the matchbox. The pups relaxed a little bit. Ryder seemed less angry and more intrigued now.
«About thirty.» Zuma said proudly. Ants weren't easy to catch after all, without squishing them.
«Wow, that's a whole squad. An Ant-squad.» Ryder laughed a little and began to think. «And if there are more of them? It's a whole team! Ant-team! We can create an Ant Patrol! Well, move forward six-legged fighters, step march! Left left left, right right right!» With that, Ryder left the garden, marching along with the match ox of ants held above his head.
«Zuma…» Chase said. «Why did you show him the ants at all?!» He was so bewildered at Ryder's weird behaviour and how the heck that plan even worked.
«What? He believed.» Zuma said.
«Exactly! Ugh. Well, Marshall, go get a bucket with a lid.»
«For strawberries?» Marshall asked automatically.
«No, we will collect the ant team.» The shepherd answered. Zuma almost died laughing. «Why are you looking at me like that Zuma?" He stopped laughing when he realized Chase was serious. The Shepherd nodded toward a small squadron of ants. "Look, you've got ants carrying away a caterpillar.»
«Heh, a caterpillar track of an Ant-tank.» Marshall chuckled.
«Don't say anything like this in front of Ryder! Or else we'll end up collecting caterpillars too!»
This is where the story ends, and as I said in the beginning, don't take anything from this story seriously, because it is just ridiculous, but I hope you liked it. Good luck everyone, see you in the next story.