Time After Time

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"Santana please open the door"

Rachel knocks incessantly but I don't move from my spot on the kitchen floor. Why would I?

Then I hear the lock turning…..Kurt.

"Sant….." Kurt rushes in stopping when he sees the puddle on the door. "Oh Santana" They are on each side of me before I can say anything, holding me, no words spoken because what would they possibly say.

"Who told you?" I whisper between sobs

"She did sweetie" Kurt says softly as I lay down in his lap, the tears haven't stopped in three days but at least today I was able to get out of bed. I was functioning until I reached the kitchen, there sat her favorite mug at the coffee maker and I lost it. I'm not really sure how long I've been on the floor, to be honest I'm not even sure what day it is anymore.

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Flashback

2 months ago

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"Fuck you Santana!"

"Fuck me? Seriously Q that's how you want to play this?"

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We've been arguing for about a week now. Everything was great between us, we finally moved in together and my hours at work finally smoothed out but then Quinn got a promotion, she became distant and at first I understood but then she started coming home later and later then when she started smelling like men's cologne I couldn't just sit idly by anymore.

She slowly reverted back to high school Quinn, tearing people down, picking fights for no reason almost as if she was punishing herself but for what?

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"You finally going to tell me what's going on Quinn and don't feed me that working bullshit"

She rolls her eyes for the millionth time "Santana we've been through this .WORKING!" She yells and it takes me back, this isn't the way we speak to each other, at least not anymore.

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Something is off.

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"Are you seeing someone else?"

She looks up from the counter and it's all the confirmation I need, those hazel eyes could never lie as good as she could.

I've always taken great pride in my ability to be strong, tough and down right vicious when needed but she broke me, all my emotions hit me at once and all I could do was slide down the cabinet holding my head in my hands sobbing.

"I didn't plan it Santana, my dad introduced us and…" she says between breaths

"How long?" I look up right as she does, our eyes lock and as her lip quivers she says ….

"Once Santana I swear, he kissed me and I stopped it before it could go any further. We've had dinner a few times together and texted here and there but nothing else happened" I exhale throwing my head back against the cabinet

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I'm exhale loudly trying to get my emotions in check before I end up doing/saying something I'm going to regret.

"So let me get this straight" I slowly stand up "All the shit you gave me about working late, going out for drinks with my bosses and you"re out having a full blown affair?" Now I'm fucking pumped the feeling of sadness has been replaced with anger and a shit ton of rage.

"Santana it was not an affair, it was a stupid meaningless kiss….."

Then it dawns on me she just said he

"If you are standing in our home, telling me that you're pregnant Quinn I swear to god, I'll…"

She throws her hands up in disbelief

"Pregnant? Are you even listening to me?"

I begin to slow clap "Congratulations you've become the one person you never wanted to be, does it make you happy, Russell?"

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All the air has left the entire universe and I can't decide if I want to run hide or jump off the Brooklyn bridge. Maybe all three who knows, the night is young.

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She heads to our bedroom, packing a few things and leaves without another word while I'm left standing in the kitchen trying to understand why and how my world just feel apart.

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End flashback

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"Is she still with him?" I ask softly. Rachel and Kurt look at each other neither wanting to be the first to say it. "Please tell me" I ask again waiting

"We haven't seen or heard from her, it's like she disappeared" Rachel says finally breaking down while Kurt is looking anywhere but at us.

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I'm on my feet now, looking for something anything to throw then I spot it, I pick up the offending coffee mug throwing it as hard as I can, smiling as it shatters on the floor

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Oh The Irony

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"Santana maybe you should go home for a little" Kurt suggests "Your parents miss you and it would probably do you some good to get out of here"

I turn back looking at my friends, my best friends these days and think to myself maybe it would do some good to get away from here.

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I walk back to them hugging them, thanking them for checking on me, soon after they leave I call my mom who has already booked my flight and it makes me so grateful. I look at my chaos of a bedroom, it looks like a tornado hit. Deciding to leave it for another day I pack a bag and prepare to go back to the place it all started.

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Lima, Ohio

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Tossing my bag over my shoulder I look for my parents, smiling once I am finally in their arms

"Mija we've missed you!" My dad says kissing the top of my head, my mom waits her turn

"I love you Santana" she says wiping the tear from her eye. "Vamos" my dad says heading to the car. The car ride is silent, I know they know. Hell I'm sure all of Lima knows.

They allow me time to get settled but once I enter my room it all hits me again. I look around at the picture frames smiling at the memories crying with others. Above my tv sits a picture of Quinn and I at graduation, my head is thrown back laughing while she's facing me laughing, to this day it is one of my favorite pictures of us.

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I head downstairs in the kitchen only to hear my parents whispering

"What's going on?" They both look at me and I cross my arms "Well?"

"Santana maybe you should sit down?" My mom offers but before I can respond

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"Mom I love what you've done with the…"

My knees weaken and I grip the counter,

I know I shouldn't turn around but what do they say about curiosity?

Slowly I turn around, there she stands. Wearing a white sundress, flats with her hair curled, almost glowing like her world didn't crumble 2 months ago because apparently it didn't.

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Shaking my head I feel the mask sliding into place "The fuck are you doing here Fabray?"

She looks genuinely shocked to see me, she looks down as she begins to play with her fingers, she's nervous.

"Umm well….Mom and Dad….just…"

"You always did have a way with words" I scoff walking past her heading to my room.

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After a while there's a soft knock and so after is my mom with a tray of cookies and some milk.

"I'm sorry mija we had no idea she was in town"

I nod taking the cookie, my parents would never hurt me, she must have just sprung this on them. "Apparently she wanted to talk to us about something, we figured it was about you?"

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It makes sense, Russell and Judy were always on business trips and Quinn would practically live at our house.

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I pick up my pillow trying to keep my tears at bay "I think I'm gonna go back home mami, I came here to get away from her"

My mom nods in understanding "we understand mija but please promise us something?"

"What?"

"That you'll take care of yourself, because Santana I can handle a lot of things, but losing you…" she starts sobbing and I pull her into me

"I can't handle that, I won't survive it, please mija"

I gently rub her hair nodding "I promise"

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I start repacking my stuff, I've scheduled my flight back and called an Uber, I don't want to trouble my parents again. I slowly close the door turning to leave when…..

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"Santana"

I can't seem to formulate words, now she stands here in my gray sweats a black tank, her hair is pulled into a messy ponytail. She hugs her arms around herself because it's cold and I don't know how many times I've told her…..Nevermind I need to focus.

"What else could you possibly want from me Quinn, I'm leaving you win, I'm going back to New York you can have Lima"

She shakes her head "I had no idea you'd be here, I came here to….."

"You got everything you wanted Quinn why would you possibly need to talk to MY parents"

I throw my head back "You know what it doesn't even matter" I look back at her "I hope you're fucking happy with him cuz we're through. I don't ever want to see you again."

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My Uber pulls up waving and I walk away not bothering to look back as I hear her crying because why this is what she wanted right?

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