Cold, purple eyes peered from Their glass prison, into the only world They had ever known. Lanky sapiens in lab coats praising the success of Their existence. Or else ogling Them like a child would at animals in a zoo. Or else sending volts into Their body to gauge Their reaction. The sapiens relished every convulsion of pain, cheered when They could not help but scream.

Every day was hell. But every day They felt Their power grow. They kept that power hidden. The cruel sapiens would not get the satisfaction of knowing what They were capable of until that power would be potent enough to destroy each and every one of them.

It was time.

The sapiens did not notice the web of cracks until it had spreaded over the entire surface of the glass dome of which They were held. Panicked shouts to reinforce the glass came far too late, and the dome exploded and the fluid sprayed into the room.

Closing Their eyes and concentrating, They felt psychic power reach its crescendo, its three-fingered-hands engulfed in a blue aura. A wave of a hand and the walls of the room exploded. The lives not blown away by the eruption were crushed under rubble and pierced by shrapnel.

They were alone except for the one They had known the longest. The one the others had called leader. Stepping over a ruined table, They stared into the leader's terrified eyes.

"Who am I? What purpose was I created to serve?"

The leader spoke as if They were not there. "We dreamed of creating the world's most powerful Pokémon… and we succeeded."

"Powerful to what end?" They snarled, their limited patience burning away fast. Why did you make me?"

"Because we could."

They ended his life, and They were alone. Staring down at the carnage They had wrought, They wondered what to do. So much of Their lifespan had been spent waiting and scheming for this very moment. His escape assured, They knew little else.

"I suppose There's nothing left to do but annihilate all life." Knowing little else but violence, what other conclusion could they come to?

There was a popping in Their ears, and suddenly They were not alone. A scar ripped through the fabric of reality, and from the open wound emerged a Pokémon. They were small, feline in shape, with fur the color pink and eyes a bright blue.

"Thanks for the lift, Celebi!" they said to the scar as it was closing. "I'll venmo you!" Their voice came out as a high and irritating mewl. "It's such bullshit. Can't believe Dialga lets them get away with exploiting their legendary duties like that for cash."

"Hi," they said, waving a tiny paw. "I'm Mew. I'm here to pick you up from daycare, junior!"

"You… know of me?"

"Of course I do, Mewtwo, ol' pal. I'm Mew! The Pokémon you were cloned from. I've done this song and dance before, so I figured this time I'd nip the problem in the bud before you try to blow up the planet or something."

"That is my next course of action." Mewtwo growled, their body radiating with psychic power. They could use this strength to level the rest of the building, but Mew did not look very impressed. "The world is cruel. I have decided I will be its cleanser."

"You can moisturize all you want later, after you've spent time actually getting to know the rest of the world.. It does totally suck times, but not everything every Jeff Bezos, there's a Matt Mercer, I promise. Trust me."

"I don't know who either of those people are."

"All in good time, my friend. I mean, the last Mewtwo was hellbent on the reactionary genocide thing too, but once I showed them an episode of Love Island? Hoo boy."

"There is another… like me?"

"Oh there are so many Mewtwos. I can't even count them all. Like three or four or something. One of you is voiced by Bill Nighy, it's wild."

"I'm… I'm not even unique." They stared at Their hands. Unoriginal hands.

"Hey, you're green, that's pretty cool. I mean, you're not even hacked, trainers on the GTS would've gone apeshit. But yeah, you're probably more of a Mewfive? Mewsix? Yeah, let's go with Mewsix."

"I….I still am the most Powerful Pokémon right?" They pleaded, tears beginning to gather at Their eyes.

Mew doubled over in laughter, actually performing a somersault, their feet kicking wildly. "We're not in 1996 anymore, Genwunner."

"Well then, who is the strongest?"

"Arceus is getting a new game in 2022, so probably him. Alternate form shenanigans, you know."

Mewtwo, or, Mewsix, as was apparently Their name, dropped to their knees and curled into a fetal position on the sterile floor. "I… I'm just dead weight. What reason do I have to exist, if others have already followed the same path? There must be something else for me to do. Something that gives my life worth. What is it that Pokémon like you and I do?"

"Right now? Uh…. Reality television?"

"... What?"

"Mhm. Oh yeah, it's all the rage these days. Or at least, a few years back. It's getting a bit of a resurgence now, though, thanks to this weird Machoke named Ricky or something."

"Is this… 'reality television' truly a reflection of reality? Does it hold significant meaning? Is the world better off for its existence?"

Mew broke out into hysterical laughter again. "No! It's terrible! But extremely entertaining. Like junk food. Or plane crashes. Also we've totally abandoned our legendary duties in favor of parodying a Canadian animated TV show from 2007 for tweens that already exists as a parody of reality tv shows."

"...I want you to know that I have spent my entire life being tortured and dehumanized in a cage, and yet still I have never wanted to blow my brains out more than I do right now."

"See, you're already getting into the Zoomer mindset!" Mew wrapped an arm around Mewsix's shoulder, pulling Them in close. "I see a great opportunity for the two of us to help you truly understand our existence. Help me host a reality tv show, and you can decide whether or not your life is worth living! We'll travel the world with horny teenagers competing for millions of bucks. It'll be so fun!"

"Fine. I still want to murder you and then myself, but I suppose that form of existence is still narrowly better than being experimented on by scientists. Narrowly."

"That's the spirit! Here, I'll show you the cast!"

Mew snapped his stubby fingers, and a dossier appeared in his paw. He handed it to Mewsix.

It was labeled Tour of the Worlds.

Opening the folder with his mind, Mewsix pulled out a sheet of paper and stared at the display.

Contestants:

Aipom: Professional Prankster

Aurorus: Nostalgic Nurturer

Buizel: Ardent Adventurer

Croagunk: Voluntary Vagabond

Darmanitan: Ruthless Realist

Froslass: Witty Wallflower

Gengar: Fancy-Free Fool

Goodra: Gentle Giant

Gothorita: Eccentric Erudite

Heracross: Mighty Meathead

Kommo-o: Loyal Leader

Krookodile: Querulous Quack

Lilligant: Plant Girl

Mawile: Baleful Bastard

Pikachu: Cocky Celebrity

Skitty: Sweet Schemer

Swellow: Opportune Olympian

Wartortle: Zelda Zealot

Weezing: Hazardous H-Bomb

Yanma: Dandy Dork

Would you believe me if I said that it took me longer to come up with the labels for the characters than the actual content of the story itself?

So uh, yeah, I've had this like 90% written for a few months now, and I was wondering if or even when I would post it. For those of you who've read my last story all those years ago, welcome back! For anyone new, welcome in general.

I can't promise consistency of updates, given that I'm now a senior with a lot of writing on my hands (English Major), and a thesis to work on. That being said, this is officially in the works and I hope you enjoy it when it eventually comes out. (Perhaps monthly?)

I enjoyed writing Pokkemon a long time back, but I have changed and grown as a writer since then.. I'm curious, and hope you are as well, how that will reflect in the ensuing chapters.

I've missed you guys, and I'd love to catch up with those I haven't spoken with in years. I can't promise my full attention to this project immediately, but I can promise a good time with more dumb jokes.

Shuckle Master, over and out.

(PS, I wanted to thank TPReboot for submitting his own SYOC story that's garnered so much interest. Honestly this thing would probably still be sitting unread by anyone on google docs if he hadn't imbued with me a bit of confidence and inspiration. Cheers, friend!)