Disclaimer: I do not own Black Clover nor any of it's characters. They belong to the genius Yuki Tabata.

Author's Note: I recommend reading "Little Birdie" as a companion piece to this one-shot, but it is not required.

KenosDC1: Thank you so much for your kind review! It made my night. I like to imagine that Nacht and Nozel would both be members of the Yami hating club. The two angsty men would get along great.

Penance for the Guilty

By: S.C. Tucker

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Not a single day passes for Nozel Silva where he does not resent the failure scowling back at him in the mirror as he twines his silver locks together with trembling fingers. Each plait he completes serves as another reminder of his late mother's words: "You're the only one who inherited my steel attribute. Make sure you protect your siblings with that magic, okay?" Another wave of guilt washed over him leaving goosebumps scattered across his flesh as he replayed her final wish in his mind's eye for the millionth time. The notorious Silva clasp snapped shut before his own eyes and he forced himself to look; to acknowledge that it bore an uncanny likeness to the image of Acier Silva's gravestone.

"One day, you'll even be stronger than me." Those words his mother had spoken as she lay upon her silken deathbed had inscribed themselves onto his young soul many years ago.

It had been after her funeral that Nozel had begun to style his hair in the way others often considered peculiar. But for him the Silva clasp was always in direct view. Her wishes and words were always in reach. They served as a reminder of his own personal mission. Back then he thought that he could surpass those lofty expectations without trouble as a gifted member of Royalty. After all, his mother had believed that he would acquire the strength to rival her own. The one woman considered mighty enough to become a contender for Wizard King. This was the naivety of a young boy forced to hold the reigns of his world all too soon.

Like a chick fallen from the nest Nozel had been given two possibilities: overcome the challenges that lay before him or lay down before the challenges that would crush him. Without hesitating Nozel had chosen the former. Ambition however, was a poor substitute for experience. So he had blundered countless times. Often multiple times a day as he learned to navigate his new responsibilities. An absent Father made for a poor head of house and an even worse guide. Nozel had eagerly stepped up into the shoes of the Silva figurehead to honor his late mother without truly comprehending just how vast and vicious the world really was. After the first death of a squadmate Nozel shouldered the blame and anguished alone behind closed doors. Over time his trembling heart had steeled. He learned to not only accept the harsh realities carried by Fate and the powdered verbal blows of Royalty, but how to deal with them too. Nozel had learned to ride the tailwinds of politics in order to protect the Royal Silva image. To protect his mother's image. He would not tolerate outsiders to shame the great house that his mother loved. In doing so Nozel had wrought his very soul into a cold stalwart shield. He would defend her memory and honor her legacy no matter the cost with the mission that his mother had bequeathed him. Yet he could see now with unmistakable clarity that in doing so, it was he himself who had tarnished what Acier Silva had loved most: her children.

After bearing witness to the destructive power of the supernatural devil; young Nozel was left with the misguided understanding that as long as he gathered the strength to counter such a force he would be living up to the will of Acier Silva. As long as his siblings were physically unharmed and distanced from Megicula's curse he would be honoring her wish. And so he made the seat of Wizard King his goal. Not out of fondness for the people of Clover Kingdom, but out of the burning desire to prevent another tragedy from befalling the Silva family again. However, while the calamity that his young mind feared had not returned to curse his family again; another one had risen up taking its place among the grand marble halls. Worst of all he had remained a spectator.

The Silva clasp had once served as Nozel's gatekeeper to remind him just how utterly helpless he had been all those years ago. But now the clasp served as both his penance and as his promise to seek atonement. He learned that it was easy to make a pledge. It was easy to want to honor a dying wish. But, as he gazed at the cross-shaped outline that guided his everyday motivations he knew it was truly easy to push others away and walk the long lonely road himself. In the end he had failed at all three. His former pledge to get stronger had been built off of misbegotten understanding of the mere idea of a hollow and lonely strength. He lacked the proper conviction to fortify both his magic and his actions.

And his mother's wish? There was no use denying that he had ignored and defiled his responsibilities as the eldest brother of House Silva. Utterly. Completely. Failed.

He had allowed Nebra and Solid to tear into sweet innocent Noelle. While he hadn't bore witness to the physical abuse that was uncovered only recently. He had let their envenomed words strike at the youngest Silva in his presence. Why? Because at the time he was deplorable enough to believe in the polished lie that their barbed insults would keep little Noelle away from the battlefield not realizing that he was already keeping her within a relentless warzone by doing so.

Nozel knew he was incredibly at fault as well, for swinging the proverbial sword at Noelle again and again and again. Refusing to look at her face which resembled their own late mothers so much that it stole his breath. Fear constantly gripping his heart at the thought of losing her just as he has lost his mother. His trepidation only grew as Noelle struggled to exert any form of control over what sparse water magic she could conjure as a child. So he took the path of a coward and lashed out cruel words at her. The little girl he once clutched desperately against his breast as they evaded death by a whispered margin. To take cover under the warm ferocity of a mother who fought with everything she had to give for the sake of her precious children.

The error of his ways had started to rear its head and strike back during the Elf Invasion when he had only been able to achieve meager control within the distorted magic space against the possessed Letoile Becquerel. While Nozel had remained outwardly composed during the assault; he had been filled with sheer terror. At the time, Nozel had found himself struggling to maintain the most basic defense to protect his wounded siblings. Directing every bit of strength he could muster within the mana warped spell had achieved almost laughable results. This elf wielding borrowed magic had trampled all over his goal to protect his siblings. Nozel prided himself on his precision to wield magic against even the worst affinity match up. His fierce rivalry with Fuegoleon Vermillion was a strong testament of that very perseverance. However, for the first time in his life Nozel found himself truly backed against a wall.

On the contrary, Noelle revealed just how far she had progressed by completely overwhelming their vengeful opponent. Perhaps she would have been a better recipient of their mother's final wish. Noelle's magic had been brutish and unrefined, but it was because of the constant pressure that she was able to transcend beyond what Nozel had accomplished within True North. In that moment, Noelle had proved that she was undeniably the daughter of Acier Silva as she danced like a princess through the starlit sky above. He knew that their mother would have been beyond proud. He was proud. That night had been the first time he had ever apologized for his shameful behavior. Yet, he knew it wasn't nearly enough to bridge the emotional trench that lay between him and his youngest sister.

The Spade War had been a pivotal moment in history. But, for Nozel it had been the apex of his lifelong goal to avenge his their mother and break Megiculia's curse. It was selfish, but as he soared across the battlefield past those who struggled and sought help in the skirmishes below: he felt no regret passing them by. The exorcism of this devil had been Nozel's lifelong purpose and he would succeed even if it meant never seeing home again. The rage that ignited in his heart had spilled out that night as he shielded Noelle from the voracious devil's fatal blow. He had readied his mercury blades and poured everything he had ever been and would ever be into his unforgiving assault. After unleashing every ounce of strength he had cultivated since he was a young boy: he had only succeeded in cutting away enough ribbons of flesh to expose the vulgar heart of the devil that he was too weak to destroy. It stung that he was… still not enough. Nozel knew then that he would have failed had he fought alone as he had decided those many years ago. So for the first time he chose to believe in Noelle's power over his own with every fiber of his being and fortified her magic sword with his mercury that resembled the shape of their mother's own magic. Nozel understood at that moment that the only way to slay Megiculia was to combine their power to smash through her defence and shatter the grotesque heart before them.

The victory over his lifelong foe was enough to bring the stoic man to tears. However, it was the revelation that he had been wrong that brought him to his knees. That he should have placed his trust in Noelle from the beginning and helped her foster that incredible water magic so that they could have grown stronger together. Nozel knew now that he should have never pushed his dear sister away. He never should have pushed any of his family away. It was a fool's errand from the beginning to think that he could have succeeded alone.

Those hot tears had fallen freely from his lavender eyes as the celestial form of Acier Silva hugged her children close. Praising them both until she faded away peacefully into the heavens.

How could she be proud of him after how badly he had failed his siblings? He didn't succeed in the one thing she had asked of him.

Excuses. That was all he had offered these past 17 years. Nozel had to grow up fast and he had to take on responsibilities far too complicated for a young boy: such as raising children as a child himself. However, that tribulation did not absolve him of the neglect he directed towards his siblings. While becoming Head of House Silva and the Silver Eagles's Magic Captain did take up a significant portion of his time. It did not consume all of his time. Nor did it prevent him from knowing what was occurring at home behind closed doors. Well, Nozel Silva was tired of excuses and he was tired of being a coward. It was time to be honest.

With Noelle.

With Nebra.

With Solid.

With Himself.

In no reality did Nozel ever expect to be forgiven, but that would not deter him from setting his family on the right path as he should have all those years ago. As he should have the first moment he held baby Noelle in his inexperienced arms. He would do better from now on; forever.

And so he would start first by repairing the gaps in his family by reaching out to Noelle. She had grown so much as an individual since joining the Black Bulls squad. Nozel could not resist feeling a swell of pride in his chest at the thought of her incredible magic and kind disposition. Noelle was always eager to help others; others she had no business helping.

A very subtle knock against the stained glass door in his office pulled Nozel from his solitary contemplation. Averting his eyes to the entryway he detected the vague shape and lesser mana of one royal house servant through the beautiful eagle shaped panes awaiting his master's presence patiently.

"Lord Silva, a letter has arrived from Miss Noelle." The servant announced.

Nozel allowed himself a brief secret smile before opening the heavy ornate door to accept the precious envelope. "You may leave." He answered once the item was in his possession. Nozel had been anxiously awaiting this letter all day to receive it's verdict. So much so, that he had not even felt much of an appetite and struggled to concentrate on the words spoken to him during the prior finance meeting. Constantly he had cast his eyes out the nearest window to search the sky.

The butler bowed politely before pulling the door shut and vacating the area. Nozel gazed down at the neat writing of his name across the envelope in his hands with a tinge of nervousness. What if she had declined? Taking in a deep calming breath Nozel chastised himself for stalling and flipped the slightly wrinkled paper case over and noticed the smudged wax seal with a slight frown. Was that cat hair set into the wax? No it could never be. Cats were not red. Indeed, it was just a very fine thread. Nothing more.

The magic captain knew he was stalling again. With a self-depreciating sigh he walked back to the desk in his personal office and retrieved a sterling silver letter opener that was engraved with the silhouettes of elegant birds. He supposed that could have used his magic to make a blade fit for opening the envelope, but he was not that desperate to read Noelle's reply. Or so, he would like to think.

Nozel delicately popped the wax seal with the small ornamental blade and was met with the overpowering scent of alcohol. Wine to be exact. A cheap vintage that had to have been purchased outside of the noble realm. He wrinkled his nose out of distaste. While he could enjoy a fine drink from time to time he was not fond of dimming his senses and acting like an imbecile, such as Fuegoleon. Nozel fared better than Charlotte in terms of tolerance, however that was not an achievement one would brag about considering she could not take more than a single sip without becoming woozy. He worried that Noelle shared his unfortunate disposition when confronted with the alcoholic beverage. It was not uncommon for wine to be served alongside meals in noble households. However, guilt clawed at Nozel's mind as he realized that he could not recall sharing a single meal together with all of his siblings.

Slowly he pulled the parchment paper from it's messy envelope and inspected the contents of the letter. It was hard to ignore the deep maroon splotches that had sunk into the fibers of the parchment creating a lacy spider web effect. Admonishing himself for his slip of concentration Nozel once more set himself to his task and scanned the words written before him.

Dear Nozel,

I hope that you are doing well.

Thank you for writing to me. I know that the appearance of this letter is unbefitting of a Silva and I apologize. Vanessa was trying to help me hang some new curtains in my room earlier and accidentally spilled an entire bottle of wine on my desk. You would think that the woman who can control Fate could have helped me avert this disaster, but she claimed that "soiled parchment won't get anyone killed". I disagree personally. Today is PayDay for the Black Bulls and the hideout is a little bit out of control. Well, more than usual anyway. They thought that the carrier bird was just Nero for hours until she came downstairs for dinner. Sorry for the late response.

I will meet you there tonight when you are finished with work.

Sincerely,

Noelle Silva

He felt relief that Noelle hadn't taken up alcoholism like he had feared, but he couldn't help but feel saddened by her apologies. Guilt clutched at him once more as he reread her words once more. Noelle should never have to feel like she was obligated to apologize to him. Not after what he had done to her.

Nozel focused on the Silva Clasp swaying before his eyes. He would face this problem head on and tell her to never apologize to him again. They would rebuild what it 'meant to be a Silva' from the ground up together as a family.

Resolved, Nozel tucked the perfectly messy letter safely into his grimoire satchel and donned his Captain's Cloak. Determined he made his way downstairs and out into the palace gardens. There he conjured up a meticulous mercury eagle and flew to the marked location on the map he had sent to Noelle early that morning.

The destination was one that he kept very close to his heart. A place that Acier Silva had once brought her children to escape from the Royal Palace and learn about the true beauty of the Clover Kingdom. Noelle had never gotten the privilege to experience one such visit due to their mother's poor health after the curse had begun to deteriorate her body. So, Nozel decided that on the road to atonement he would share this sacred place with Noelle and regale her with the tales of their Mother. The very stories that she was denied growing up. She deserved to know. Noelle held a right to that place just as much as the other Silva siblings. Not even their absent Father knew of the spot Acier loved most.

Perhaps someday all four Silvas would sit side by side there just as their mother had always envisioned.

Even though he hadn't returned to this very spot for some time Nozel recognized it immediately as he flew over the twinkling torchlights of the Castletown known as Kikka. There hidden on the outskirts of the bustling city grew a lone willow tree that twisted tenderly up into the ambient night sky. Vibrant leafy tendrils tumbled from its branches creating a peaceful nook on the small grassy hill. He could already picture the Rudbeckia - a yellow autumn wildflower - that had undoubtedly bloomed into its exquisite sun shape nestled among the roots of the sheltering tree.

As Nozel stepped through the strands of golden foliage he felt relieved that the serene space before him had remained almost wholly undisturbed after all these years. The Rudbeckia had indeed sprouted up from the earth to spread their mellow petals under the soft glow of fireflies. However, tucked away among the flowers sat a woman who shed enough tears to nourish the ground below. He supposed it was quite appropriate for a person to lament their sorrows beneath the weeping willow. Ironic even.

Respectfully he buried away his discomfort at the women who had encroached on such a sacred place. Acier Silva had always stated that the willow tree was a place that was meant to be shared. No matter how much he wished he could claim this peaceful nook for his family alone.

Had it been any other occasion Nozel would have left the woman to wallow in her despair without signaling his presence. But, the fact that Noelle was on her way towards this very spot halted his departure. And so he asked her. This woman who cried under the willow tree. "What are you doing here?"

It was a simple yet incredibly obvious question. Nozel supposed that he deserved the heavy sigh she gave him in response. It was clear that the woman wanted to be left alone. Perhaps he still had time to intercept Noelle before she could arrive?

As he quickly calculated the most efficient route that Noelle would have likely taken from the Black Bulls hideout, the woman he had no business bothering spoke to him.

"Hating Yami Sukehiro." She spit the words out with fire on her tongue. Yet, he detected no malice from her fluctuating mana. Was she trying to appease him?

Nozel's own distaste for the crude foreigner was no secret and he made it known often. On one hand, he was grateful that Noelle was able to flourish within the unrefined environment of the Black Bulls. On the other hand, Yami Sukehiro was a walking irritance that rivalled Agustus Kira Clover XIII in his humble opinion. Just the other day during a meeting with the Wizard King the foreigner had decided it was imperative to get up and depart for the restroom three times within the space of an hour. He is vile.

Pulling himself from delving too deep into the obnoxious memories Nozel finally responded. "Yes… he is quite deplorable."

His curiosity piqued as he searched for the identity of this stranger who seemed to also despise the shadow user. Moonlight filtered down through the leaves settling onto her unusual rose colored hair. On her shoulder rested what appeared to be a deep red coated… cat? Nozel felt his eyes narrow habitually at the sight of the familiar black and gold magic knight cape.

So this was Vanessa.

It made sense that even Yami Sukehiro's squadmates held an ill will towards him. He couldn't begin to fathom what particular grievance this woman might hold against her capitan. A multitude of possibilities easily passed through his mind.

A possibility he had not even considered carried itself to him on the gentle night breeze. "He broke my heart."

Oh.

Nozel immediately crossed his arms. The mere thought of considering an affection boarding on the idea of love for Yami Sukehiro was very off putting. Vanessa appeared to have a terrible taste in men.

He considered it almost morbid that she would be so distraught over the rejection of a man who did not deserve her affection. Nor anyone else's for that matter. The words departed his lips easily. "Then he does not deserve it."

Instead of the denial that Nozel had anticipated: his ears were met with a loud laugh that had undoubtedly noted how absurd the current situation really was. So she wasn't going to defend Yami Sukehiro like the many noblewomen he had encountered chasing fruitless romances. Interesting.

Vanessa of the Black Bulls sprang up onto her feet, scattering the fireflies in her haste. He watched with slight apprehension as the shapely woman lifted her gaze to the heavens and yelled into the stretch of stars. "Alright! To hell with Fate and to hell with Irony too!".

Nozel quirked a neat eyebrow at her crass declaration. Had she acknowledged the irony of the weeping willow as well? He almost had the presence of mind to ask her. Until she turned to face him. Recognition flared in Vanessa's glittering amethyst eyes momentarily and then sharpened quickly as she took in his visage. Another sigh.

He was convinced that she hated him. Though if Noelle was close with this woman she had every right to hate him. Slowly she approached him "Be good to her." The internal struggle raging within her gaze let him know. That she knew. Without another word she stalked away from the willow tree.

This is what he deserved after all.

Vanessa was right to lay those words against him, whether he was Royalty or not. He had no right to feel indignation at her impertinence. He needed to be better to Noelle. And he would be.

It was not long after the departure of one Black Bull that another arrived to take her place. Rather than use a magic broom; Noelle had chosen to fly here through the use of her Valkyrie Dress. Nozel tucked away the strange encounter he had just been a part of to greet his sister.

"U-um hi Nozel. This place is… beautiful." Noelle nervously touched her hair as she took in her surroundings.

"It is. This was our mother's favorite spot."

"Really?" The way her eyes lit up told him that it was indeed the right choice to bring Noelle here.

"Really." Nozel sank down gracefully onto the grassy knoll that had been recently vacated. "Come sit with me."

Noelle stared at him skeptically as she met his expectant gaze. Nozel was unsure whether it was out of shock from seeing the regal Silva sitting on the ground like a peasant or because she truly didn't want to sit next to him.

Slowly she moved closer and picked a spot near enough to be considered polite before settling down as well.

He looked up at the twinkling stars. It was easier to be vulnerable without looking into the eyes of others. "When I was a little boy our mother used to bring us here. Nebra might remember this place, but Solid was a toddler the last time we visited. You were with us then too. Not born yet, but mother broke the news that she was pregnant to us here." Nozel let the nostalgic smile slide onto his lips as he spoke fondly of their childhood.

Noelle listened quietly. So he continued leaning back to rest on his palms: lavender eyes rising up to view the moon through the leafy canopy above. "She used to love the fireflies. So on some lucky nights she would sneak us all out past bedtime to experience their gentle brilliance. Mother would be happy to know that you are sneaking out to see them too."

"Tsk. I'm a little old for sneaking out." Noelle intervened. Nozel turned his head to look at her. She was starting to sound like a Black Bull too. Regret flashed across her face at his attention.

"Sorry."

Nozel trapped the sad sigh before it left him. "No more apologies Noelle."

"I-I don't understand." Her voice wavered.

"I don't deserve them."

Silence permeated their conversation leaving only the subtle swish of the night breeze. Nozel focused on silently seeking out constellations to pass the time until she was ready to speak again. Anything to take his mind off the discomfort that they both felt. He knew that making amends wouldn't be easy. It was not something that would mend overnight.

"Do you think she is watching over us?" Noelle finally offered.

The uncomfortable sensation of his throat closing creeped up on him at her honest question. It was something he wondered himself. Shutting his eyes and listening to the hum of the fireflies he spoke the only answer that felt right. "Every day."

He detected the smile in Noelle's voice as she answered him. "I think you're right."

They sat in a companionable silence. Nozel's mind drifting back to their mother's ephemeral ghost from the battlefield.

"Hey Nozel?"

"Yes?"

"Could you tell me more about her… about Mom?"

"Of course."

And so they stayed late into the night slowly, but surely starting to build the bridge between them. It wasn't much. But, it was a start and that was what mattered.

Nozel would plait his hair into the Silva clasp until the day that he could be forgiven. Until then it would serve as his penance regardless if that fateful day would never come to pass.

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