Authors note:

Hi. Welcome!

This is my first supernatural fic! I'm so excited.

I have rated this fic M because of later chapters.

Their is no spoilers so far and nothing to upsetting, unless you count a lot of angst!

Just to let you know that I'm unsure of where in the TV show this story would be put. I'm not going to be following any story lines from the show. However, Cas's powers are not at his strongest and all the angels hate him. I would suppose if I had to put this story somewhere, right now, it would be after the angels fell and Cas has powers.

I've also picked angels as the enemy for a reason. I've noticed that in most stories on this website, Cas joins the Winchester brothers on normal ghostly hunts etc. I have nothing against that and the stories are pretty good, however, I have noticed that on the show, Cas mostly shows up when there is a major plot, angels and demons mostly, which is why I have gone with angels as the enemy.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural. I wish I did though!

Please Enjoy!

Chapter One

Heart break was something Castiel had never experienced before, it was completely foreign to him. But he knew what it was as soon as it hit. It felt like someone had reached down his throat and started, very slowly, to pull out his heart. When he looked over at Dean Winchester's face, he saw what he had been expecting. Dean was smiling, a comforting smile, or at least he was trying to be comforting. Castiel didn't want that comforting, reassuring smile. He didn't want to be anywhere near that smile.

"We know that bitch was lying through her teeth." Dean gripped his shoulder firmly, squeezing slightly. Another comforting gesture. Castiel fought the urge to rip the hand from him and storm away. Dean released him and turned back to the trunk of the Impala.

"Yeah, Cas, you don't need to explain anything to us. We know its pretty much impossible." Sam's turn to grip his shoulder in a reassuring manner. Castiel was at a loss for words. They didn't believe a word the other angel had said. He should have been relieved by that. But he wasn't. They didn't believe it because they didn't believe he could feel that way. His heart broke even more when the realization hit, pain shooting through his chest and for a moment he'd forgotten how to breath. Dean would never believe it because it was impossible for him to come to terms with something like this. This was a rejection whether Dean knew it or not.

Dean slammed the trunk down and he turned back to Castiel, that stupid smile still on his stupid face and instantly Castiel felt the urge to punch it. He clenched his fist as the heated anger raced through his veins. "Right, back to the bunker. You going to travel with us, Cas?"

Cas couldn't stomach this any more. He couldn't hold his tongue. He knew this was a bad idea, knew he should leave it alone but he couldn't. Something in him just snapped. "What makes you so sure she was lying?"

Dean's smile dropped for a second, it was barely noticeable. A small, petty part of Castiel mentally punched the air in triumph. "Because that's what all dick's do, Cas, they lie." Dean looked all smug after that. Castiel couldn't take it any more. The anger he felt for Dean in that moment was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. The unwelcome urge to punch him again crossed his mind. "Shall we go then?"

Castiel took a small glance at Sam, who for his part was talking on the phone. To who, Castiel didn't know. He swung his gaze back to Dean, who was still waiting for an answer. He narrowed his eyes at Dean and did the one thing he knew Dean hated, he invaded his personal space. Inches apart now, Castiel could feel goosebumps travel up his skin, sending a shiver down his spin. This just made him angrier. "Angels are not capable of lying, Dean."

Dean's smile vanished and his eyes popped open in shock. Castiel didn't give him a chance to gather his thoughts, he vanished with a flutter of his wings, anger still coursing through him.

Angel's lie. Of course Angels lied. Dean knew this from experience. So why the hell did Cas say they don't? Shit. He knew deep down what it meant. He knew as soon as the words had left the other angel's mouth that it was true. He just didn't want it to be true. He couldn't have it be true. He had looked at Cas for his face to give away just how wrong he was, but no, he had been devastated and slightly embarrassed. He'd tried to reassure Cas that he didn't believe it, but for his own sake more than Cas's.

Anger started to thrum through him. Now Cas had ruined everything. Putting it out there like it was nothing. How dare he ruin there friendship. Yes, their friendship was officially ruined now because Dean would never be able to look at Cas the same again. They would be completely awkward. He could imagine it now, Cas would give him longing stares, willing him to say something, and damn him, Dean wouldn't be able to look at him. They wouldn't be able to have a normal conversation. Dean would be to preoccupied with whether Cas was trying to undress him or not. But then, if Dean told him it would never happen, maybe they could go back to being friends.

That was never going to happen. He didn't know who he was kidding. The sudden urge to punch something started to overpower him. Damn Cas and his stupid feelings. He knew this was the end. He had just lost his best friend and there was nothing he could do about it. He hated feeling so out of control.

"Dean?" Sam's voice broke through his startled brain. He looked up at his brother as he strode towards him. "We got another..." Sam's voice broke off as he looked around, his brow furrowed in confusion. "Where's Cas?"

Dean flinched. "Gone," was all he managed.

Sam heaved a sigh. "Well we need to call him back, now. We've got another angel problem."

Dean couldn't do this, not now. He needed time to get his thoughts together, to figure out how to act around Cas. Before Dean could put up a fight about it, Sam had already pulled his phone out and started dialling Cas. A small part of him hoped Cas would be too pissed to pick up the phone. Of course that was just a pipe dream. He heaved a sigh when he heard Sam speaking to Cas. Suddenly Cas was stood next to his brother. Dean tried to gauge Cas's response to being back here so soon, but he gave nothing away. His face was as cool and collected as ever.

"You mentioned more angels, Sam," Cas stated in his usual gruff voice.

"Yes, there's been another angel attack. Only this one is bigger than a couple of people in a hotel room. This one has struck a whole diner. Only one survivor, a seven year old girl. The only child in the building at the time."

"Where?" Cas asked.

"About an hour from here."

"Cas, you sure you're ready to go up against another angel so soon?" Dean asked. He made sure to lace his voice with as much concern as he could, hoping the angel picked up on just how much he still cared and this revelation didn't have to change anything.

Cas narrowed his eyes slightly, keeping them trained on his brother. "Yes." He didn't look at Dean as he marched to the passenger side of the Impala and climbed in the back seat. Sam on his part looked a little taken aback, giving Dean the 'what the hell was that about?' look. Normally, Dean would have shrugged it off in his normal gruff manor. But he couldn't muster the energy. If he needed conformation that his friendship with Cas had officially ended, this was it. He let out small sigh and turned his back on Sam, heading to the driver's side of the car.

Castiel's heart was breaking in two and there was nothing he could do about it. He'd lost all control around Dean, allowing Dean to stop believing it was all a lie. What the hell had he been thinking? He had just completely ruined their friendship. It was one thing knowing that Dean would never return his feelings but it was a completely different thing seeing it written upon his face. They would never go back to normal. He couldn't simply look upon Dean's face and see the rejection there, he couldn't pretend that nothing had happened.

He stared out of the window at the scenery floating past. He forced himself to keep his face stony. He could sense Dean's eyes on him. He could picture it, Dean's eyes flickering between the road and him, concern pouring out of him. It was best if Dean didn't see that he was bothered.

How long was this going to last? Just like he's never experienced heart break, he'd never experienced rejection either. How long would it be before he gets over it? How long till he can look Dean in the eyes again without feeling so broken? How long till he was comfortable enough to let his guard down again? This was going to be torture and he knew it.

Dean swerved to the side of the road. Sam shouted 'Dude', and Cas looked questioningly at Dean. Dean's eyes were trained on him in his rear-view mirror. Cas's eyes locked with his and as much as he hated himself for it, he couldn't look away.

"Dean, what the hell?" Sam's shocked voice echoed through the car.

Dean mumbled about needing some air and stepped out of the car. They had barely been in the car ten minutes, Dean couldn't really need air so soon. Unless it was an excuse to get away from him. Pain pierced through him again, small pin pricks this time instead of the heavy assaulting punch he'd felt before.

Castiel watched Dean closely, unable to see his face. What the hell was he thinking? It was times like this that he wished one of his powers was to read minds. Dean gripped his hair in both his fists and crouched low to the pavement, head bowed. This wasn't good. Dean was having trouble controlling his emotions and it was all his fault. He should never have opened his big mouth. He should have better control over himself. He was an angel. Angels don't lose control. Their every move is precise and calculated. Yet, Cas had lost control and now it was affecting Dean.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Sam asked looking away from his brother to look at Cas.

Cas cleared his throat but kept his mouth shut, keeping his eyes on the man outside. When Cas didn't say anything, Sam looked at his brother again. Dean stood, letting his hair go. Cas watched as his shoulders heaved up and down, slowly and then with a new sense of purpose, Dean strode back to the car and slid back into his seat. Sam looked at his brother with concern and Dean ignored it. Cas was worried. What had that been about? He caught Dean's eyes in the mirror again. Dean looked away quickly.

"Right, let's go." He started the engine up and pulled off from the side of the road.

An hour later, Dean pulled into a motel car park and parked the car up. The rest of car ride had been Sam explaining what he knew about this new angel attack which turned out not to be much. Cas and Dean had stayed silent the entire trip and in the end Sam had given up trying to coax either one of them into a conversation. Dean was secretly glad. His head wasn't into the case and he needed it to be, desperately, he needed this hour to gather his control back. Sam jumped out the car muttering about getting them a room. Cas climbed out after and Dean followed.

Dean watched Cas closely, he still was refusing to look at him. This was bad. "Cas?" his voice was weary, unsure of how Cas would react. Cas just mumbled a 'yeah', still not looking at him. Dean rounded the car to stand near Cas, but keeping his distance all the same. It hurt like a bitch, knowing that Cas couldn't even look at him. "Who do you think is behind the attack?"

Cas shrugged and went to walk away, still avoiding eye contact. Enough was enough. He grabbed the angel's arm. Cas froze instantly and looked down at the contact before swinging his gaze to Dean's. Dean's breath was almost knocked out of him when he saw the sadness and the pleading that was evidently pouring out of them. Shit. He was really miserable. But why? Was he miserable because he thinks he might have ruined their friendship? That's what he was miserable over. That he may have lost his best friend. Perhaps their was a sliver of a chance for them to get past this. Maybe they could be friends. Dean knew it was a very tiny sliver, knew that the chances of them getting past this was next to nothing, but he just couldn't bring himself to come to terms with that just yet. He needed to hope he hadn't just lost the only friend he's ever had.

"Cas, I'm still you're best friend. You know that, right?" Dean's heart sunk when he saw the pain deepen. Was that not what Cas wanted? To know that Dean knowing didn't change anything?

Cas opened his mouth, then closed it quickly. His eyes dropped to the floor and he nodded slowly. Shit. This was not what he was expecting. Before he could say anything else. Sam came striding over, keys in hand and saying something about a room number. Dean dropped his hand from Cas's arm instantly, his gaze brushed over his brother. Sam chucked the keys to him and Dean caught them in one hand. He looked back at Cas, but Cas was already striding across the car park.

Dean knew instantly then. His heart sank as the reality hit him full force in the face. That one tiny sliver of hope disappeared before his eyes and his heart crushed painfully within his chest.

This was the end of their friendship.

I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. I'm sorry for the angst! Their is a lot more of that to come I'm afraid.

Please review. The reviews mean the world to me. I accept criticism, I like to use it to improve my writing, just please be nice about it. Good reviews are also welcome. I will try to get back to each and every one of you.

At this stage I am unsure of how often I will be able to update as I've only just got back in the saddle. My muse had deserted me for a while. I will try and update as quickly as possible. I am a working mum of three so bare with me. I did manage to write this chapter in only two hours, with no plan as to where it was going. So finger's crossed I can manage to update every couple of days, at the most once a week.

Thank you for you support!