Let it take time. Everything takes its own time.
That was one of Muriel's favorite quotes, especially whenever I'd get antsy for whatever pastry she had cooking in the oven. I always get impatient when sweets are involved.
A tear drips down my cheek and I sniffle at the memory. Usually I wouldn't mind but now's not a good time.
"Are you done with your moment of sentimentality, fox boy?"
Case in point. I sigh and fix a half-hearted glare on the tall red cat seated across the table from me. Yes, Katz is in our house -our kitchen in fact - and also yes, serving me (non-poisoned) tea. By now, you have to be wondering what the heck is even happening, and I don't blame you. As for the 'fox boy' quip instead of the usual 'boy', there's a simple but crazy reason for that.
Lemme start from the top.
My name is Courage, I live in the middle of Nowhere (literally a place called Nowhere – not the most creative name, I know), and I'm a little pink dog living by himself in an old wooden house because...my owners just passed away.
Eustace died from a heart attack a few months ago and Muriel died last month to a terminal illness.
Oh God, not more tears. Excuse me...there.
I admit that Eustace dying made me a little sad, not 'collapse and break out in tears' sad but still. We never had the best relationship going on - to say the absolute least - but he and Muriel meant a lot to each other and it hurt seeing her so heartbroken from losing him.
Muriel was always a strong person, by comparison. Even through her sadness, she tried her best to smile for my sake, so I tried my best to smile back, right up to the end. That left me 'collapse and break out in tears' sad. They buried her right next to Eustace in the back, facing east like I'd requested so they'd always get to see the sunrise every morning together.
After that, ugh.
The less said about those first couple of days afterwards the better. Just know that I was a complete wreck until Katz came knocking on my door one day. Turns out he'd somehow heard about what happened and...took care of me? As in cleaned around the house and made sure I eat and keep up my hygiene, which I have to admit I pretty much neglected before he showed up.
That's been going on for three weeks now and my brain is still processing it.
Clinking wakes me back up and I notice the plate now in front of me sporting a slice of chocolate cake with a hefty dollop of vanilla whipped cream on top. Without even sparing him a glance, I chow down without question. Is it bad that I've gotten semi-used to stuff like this?
A clear throat echoes from his end. "I believe it's time we discussed your next move."
Mid-bite, I look up at him in confusion. He closes his eyes for a moment before rolling them. "Oh, come now, dear boy. Don't say you expected me to feed and pamper you for the rest of my life. What a waste of your abilities that would be."
Waste of...? My shoulders hunch and my eyes narrow even more. Please don't let this be one of those 'join me' cliches. Pretty sure I don't have the patience or emotional strength for nonsense.
To my relief, Katz waves a dismissive hand. "I'm only stating that since this chapter of your life has closed, is it not time to think about the next? Just because their stories have concluded shouldn't mean yours must as well."
Great, more thoughts I'd rather not think about. My entire frame sags more than before. Even after the time and space I've had to grieve (it would never feel enough), the thought of anything after my life here is a blank, a big scary blank. Maybe this thinking's just a side effect of living in Nowhere for so long but where would I even go? What can I do with myself out there?
I stare down to avoid further eye contact. My cake piece is all gone by this point, so I fiddle with the fork, twirling its points in circles against the plate. As much as agreeing with one of my mortal enemies hurts, Katz is right: I have to do something with myself. Too bad I'm plum out of ideas on what that something could be. The sound of the chair scrapping catches my hearing and I resist the urge to flinch at the sudden hand on my shoulder.
"Might I suggest seeking out someone who dabbles in the supernatural? A psychic perhaps?"
My ears perk. That...doesn't sound like a bad idea actually – and I know someone who might be able to help.
XXX
Finding Shirley isn't as hard I expect it to be. I wouldn't be surprised if she made herself easy to find.
In any case, I come across her wagon just on the edge of town. She's playing her saxophone with an old top hat turned upside for any passerby to sling money into. I flick a quarter her way out of kindness and to also get her attention. She rounds off her playing with a hearty honk before looking my way.
"Long time, no see, dog. I have heard of what transpired with the stupid one and his wife. My condolences." Even with her droll tone, the sincerity is clear, and I give a smile of appreciation in return. "However, it is clear you are not here to seek mere comfort, correct?"
At my nod, she heaves her sax into the case and hauls it back into her wagon. She gestures me to follow her inside and I comply. The inside is somehow larger than it looks from outside and all sorts of mystic knickknacks and décor line the walls, adding to the atmosphere. Shirley leads me to a table where we take seats across from each other, her trusty crystal ball in between.
For some reason, she doesn't speak up at first. Just stares at me as if expecting something. She is.
"It is only you and I here. There is no need to hide yourself, dog," she pauses and puts a finger to her cheek in thought, "well, 'dog' is rather relative in your case all things considered."
She's got me there. I sigh before closing my eyes and letting my...true self out. My body grows and thickens in size while my limbs elongate, my facial structure lengthens and rearranges into that of a fox (sharp pointy ears and all), my teeth multiply and sharpen, and my stubby tail explodes into seven long flowing ones each tipped with black.
Yeah, remember Katz's 'fox boy' comment? Now you know why.
Like a champ, Shirley isn't fazed in the slightest. "Now then, I trust you are here to seek advice on your next steps in life. While I cannot guarantee a definite solution, perhaps a glimpse into your future will provide the incentive and direction you need."
What else could I do besides nod? Shirley's never steered me wrong before. I allow her to take both my now large paws in her small ones before she closes her eyes to focus. The crystal ball lying between us fills with violet smoke, energy like crackling from within like the tiniest lightning storm.
At last, Shirley speaks, her voice strong and resonant.
As one world ends, and another takes its place
Linger not on what you can no more embrace
For however bare the future may seem
Take heed of the forgotten dream
And step back 'til you can view
Your journey from then to now anew
For every path taken thus far
Will guide you like the brightest star
Without warning, the tenderness in her voice darkens.
But beware envy manifest
A most unwelcome guest
Back to taint the unprepared
And leave behind pain bared
Her voice lightens only now with an edge of determination.
Yet as memories come undone
May love be the defiant sun
To pierce the storm and pain
Until the truth shines again
And banish the clouds of hate
Enshrouding many a fate.
Just like that she opens her eyes at last.
And I'm shook. Deeply, horrifyingly shook. An unwelcome guest back? Who and back from what? That one line of 'taint the unprepared' rattles me the hardest as memories of Muriel's awful possession by that mattress spirit fill my mind and my stomach clenches. Something like that will happen to someone else, won't it? But to who? Muriel and Eustace are gone and all the people I could consider friends outside of Shirley are far out of reach.
All this not knowing leaves me feeling useless, like a stupid-stupid—
As if reading my mind, Shirley gives my paws an assuring squeeze. "I can tell you this much, dog. The faces I glimpsed are ones you have yet to meet. I would tell you more about them," she smirks, "but I think I'll let that be a surprise. Just know these individuals are ones you will come to care for greatly, just as you did the farmer and his wife" She shrugs. "Well, the wife anyway."
O-Oh. I manage to smile back for a moment, thankful for the levity and assurance, only to look away with a frown. There were people out there who I hadn't met yet who were in danger – maybe not presently but one day would be – and it was up to me to protect them? Story of my life right there. What would happen if I failed? What then?
Another gentle squeeze makes me face Shirley again.
"Do not let the uncertainties of the future weigh down your heart, friend. No matter what form you take or whatever enemies you may face, so long as you remain who you've always been at heart, nothing will stop you."
My eyes start to glisten at these words. She was right: I'd pulled through plenty of bad situations before and saved the people I love every time. Who said this had to be any different? Wiping the tears away, I nod in thanks before standing up to take my leave.
"Oh and one more thing," Shirley adds with a smirk, "be sure to invite me to the wedding."
Uh. Okay. Not sure where that came from, but I smile and nod again anyway as I leave, making sure to revert back to my dog form before doing so.
Once back outside, the next question is...well, what now? Actually, I know the answer; have for a while now, was just too scared to face up to it. Like Katz said, my life's not over yet and since there's nothing worthwhile for me back at the house, there's only one course of action left.
Tears come back to me but this time I force them down. There'll be time to cry later. Right now, I need to be strong for myself.
For perhaps the last time, I make my way back home. Katz isn't there to greet me, which is for the best. I still need a little more time to gather my thoughts. Plus, I don't trust that guy not to slip any of his oversized spiders into my stuff.
Thankfully, I don't have much in the way of possessions around the house to begin with ever since I've learned how to put stuff away through more...convenient means. That's why I pick out of the bedroom closet a red and black backpack with white accents Muriel let me pick out during a shopping trip to toss in whatever knickknacks I can find – after a good shake-out to make sure it had nothing ooky inside of course.
Now just one more thing or person I should say.
On the nightstand next to Muriel and Eustace's bed is a sleek black laptop. Sitting down with it onto the floor and flipping it open, I press the power button and wait for the login screen to popup.
A familiar and accented voice springs out. "Ah, you're back—and I was just starting to enjoy the peace and quiet." I roll my eyes at Computer's usual snark before typing in my username and password. Even after getting an upgrade from his old model to this laptop (with plenty of financial help from Katz who insisted I get 'more in tune with the times'), he never lost his sense of sarcasm.
Instead of snipping back, I open a Word document and start typing out what I have in mind.
"Oh? You're done moping then? About time. Still, you all out on your own? Goodness me, aren't we feeling bold? Or in good humor, I can't tell which."
There's no helping my smirk. Who said I'll be on my own? You're coming too!
"Ugh, I feared you'd say something to that effect. Well, I suppose it beats listening to that overpompous feline drone on about how tedious babysitting you is – not that I can't relate."
If he had eyes, he no doubt would have rolled them at my questioning look. "Oh please, have you never heard of 'opposites attract, like repels', you twit? Sure, it's a nice of change of pace to have someone around who can hold a conversation for once, yet there's only so much villainous monologuing one can take before it starts wearing on one's circuits. Besides," he chuckles, "it has been quite a while since I've had a taste of adventure."
Yeah, not sure I'd calling possessing my owners in search of a body to do crazy stunts with an adventure. To each their own, I guess.
"I do admit to a hint of curiosity as to where we intend to go. After all, this will be your first time venturing out into the world for your own sake. Sure you're up for this?"
For a moment, my heart hopes the answer to be 'no' because he's right: I only ever went someplace else outside Nowhere either because Muriel or Eustace (mainly Muriel) wanted to or out of desperation to find a solution for whatever current life-threatening problem we were dealing with. Even though I won't be alone for this next step in life, I'll have to rely on myself more than ever now.
And that fact scares me. Am I truly ready for this?
Oh you poor thing! Out here all alone? What courage ye have.
Courage.
Right. It's okay if I'm scared. It never stopped me from doing what matters before, so why start now, right Muriel? Though the tears keep coming, I let them be this time and give Computer my definite answer.
Ready as I'll ever be.
"How perfectly cliché," he responded in a droll tone yet there's a twinge of affection beneath, "I suppose the same could be said for me. Whenever you're ready, twit."
I murmur 'thanks' to him before switching him off and stuffing the laptop into my backpack along with the charger cable. That's all. Nothing left to do now.
It's time to go.
XXX
Ironically, Katz is there to see me off, standing on the porch as I step outside.
"I trust everything is in order?"
I nod my head yes, but part of me can't help but feel a little sentimental. Despite our longtime stint as enemies, even the thought of leaving him behind is getting to me. In a weird way, I'm sort of going to miss him.
"Do not fret, dear boy. Fate has a funny way about itself," he responds as if in cue with my thoughts before casting his usual smug grin at me, "Rest assured that when our paths cross again, our game will more than surely begin anew."
And there goes the feeling. Rolling my eyes, I take step out onto the sand and gaze one last time at the home I'm leaving behind. I look back at Katz who bobs his head back. He promised to look after the house in my absence out of 'rival's respect', which I take it to mean he's sincere about making sure this place isn't dust and cobwebs whenever I (should I ever) come back.
No more strings attached.
With one last smile, I turn my back and start on my way.
Reference sheet for Kitsune Courage: ~professorrat/submissions/1972586/courage-and-mystery