House of Puckett S01E01: House of Pilot

by P.J.ImaginationRealm

The continuation of Sam Puckett in her adult life after ICary and Sam and Cat. Sam is living in Chino and is about to be reunited with longtime friends. This is an alternative from the revival, which I don't like and not because Sam and Gibby aren't in it. I don't expect this to be a tv show, I just want write down a continuation to the Schneider verse and share it.

HOUSE OF PUCKETT SEASON 1 EPISODE 1:House of Pilot

INT. PR HOUSE KICTHEN/DINING AREA- LATE MORNING

The camera zooms into a Chino house and shows a living room with the kitchen taking half of it. A dining table is between them at the side where the sliding door to the backyard is. In the kitchen, a male, Hispanic-American, Millennial is cooking a bunch of breakfast foods in one pan and a flat egg on another. He places the sausage, bacon, and veggies on the flat egg who he sets on a glass plate and makes an omelette. A blonde, his age, walks out in her sleep clothes and messed up hair. She heads to him sleepily.

ENRIQUE

Buenos dias, cariño.

SAM

'Sup, bae.

He kisses Sam Puckett on the cheek and gives her the omelette. She eats it on the counter.

SAM (CONT)

Gotta say, you always know what to do to get me up in the morning.

ENRIQUE

Three years of marriage.

SAM

Yeah. Who would've thought. Not me, for sure.

Sam resumes eating, and Enrique puts his towel on his neck.

ENRIQUE

I need to tell you something.

Sam stops eating and turns to her husband in a stern, threatening expression.

SAM

If you're cheating on me, start saying your prayers right now.

ENRIQUE

No, I'm not having affair. That would be the stupidest thing I would ever do.

SAM

You better believe it would be.

Enrique shows a bill on his phone.

ENRIQUE

The rent has been raised more this month. Our savings aren't gonna cover it this time.

SAM

Are you sure? I mean, we've calculated our profits so we'd be able to live here for half a decade.

ENRIQUE

Yeah. Well, inflation has other plans. Not to mention this state entirely. Geez, it's really expensive here.

SAM

Seattle's no different. Difference is there's more sun here.

ENRIQUE

Which is why I've came up with an idea.

SAM

Please tell me we're not moving. 'Cause it would be pointless, since all house prices in the nation will end up like Cali's.

ENRIQUE

It's not that..

Enrique shows an ad on Styn'Tch (a satire of airBnB)of their upstairs.

SAM

You're renting out the second floor online?

ENRIQUE

We basically have our entire home down here anyway. Why waste away an empty level that makes this house more expensive than it is. We just need to have a tenant who can pay for half of the rent.

SAM

If only that's a large percentage in the area. (looks at her phone, after a notification comes on) In the meantime, I've got to do my part.

Sam kisses Enrique. He moves his lips in interest.

ENRIQUE

Your lips taste like bacon.

SAM

Thank you.

She smiles charismatically and walks off. Her plate is wiped clean.

EXT. PR HOUSE- LATE MORNING

The garage door opens and she rides out on her motorcycle. Her helmet says Munch Rush (satire of Grub Hub, Door Dash, and such). She rides out onto the street and out of the neighborhood.

EXT. SOCAL FREEWAY- NOON

She continues riding through the traffic as she reaches Anaheim.

INT. GROOVY SMOOTHIE- EARLY AFTERNOON

She enters the Anaheim store, and heads to the counter. She pulls out her phone, as one of the employees spots her.

SAM

Hi, I'm here to pick up a Munch Rush order from José Antonio Chávez.

The employee nods his head and goes to the back. Spencer Shay walks out of the bathroom. He looks up from his phone and surprisingly recognizes Sam.

SPENCER

Sam?! Sam Puckett?!

Sam turned around to him and is gleefully surprised to see him.

SAM

Spencer?!

They excitedly give each other a bro hug.

SAM

What are you doing here?

SPENCER

I have an expo here. Opening event is tomorrow displaying all my work. That's right, I'm rich now.

SAM

Holy crap, how did that happen?

SPENCER

Well, a few years ago, I made a piece of the American flag made out of blueberries, strawberries, and whip cream.

SAM

(closes her eyes)

Mmmh. Oh, that's sounds delicious.

SPENCER

It does. Anyway, I accidentally set it on fire.

SAM

As you usually do.

SPENCER

Next thing I know, The National Art Committee is displaying my work around the country, and I'm rich and famous. See, everyone believes that my piece is describing the revealing of America's agenda and the need to end this country for equality.

SAM

But, Spencer, you're anything but anti-American.

SPENCER

I know, but they don't know that. So (makes shushing noise and puts finger to his lip) as far as everyone is concerned, it wasn't an accident. Anyway, there's an entire party at the convention center, where my artwork is at. I've got everything together, except for a caterer.

Sam's face lights up as she sees an opportunity.

SAM

I may have someone in mind. You've heard of ER Meals.

SPENCER

Oh, yeah. He did those well-known cooking videos online. Enrique Rodriguez, was it? He's pretty good.

SAM

And it just so happens I'm in close contact with him. I know he'll be more than happy to cater your party.

SPENCER

No! Seriously? That'll be great. How do you know him?

The employee came back, with the order.

GS EMPLOYEE

Here you go, uhh...

SAM

Samantha Puckett..(turns to Spencer) Rodriguez.

She gives a confident grin as she shows the wedding band on her finger. Spencer's glee increase in surprise and congratulatory.

SPENCER

No way! You?!

SAM

(spreads her arms wide)

Mama got hitched.

INT. PR HOUSE KICTHEN/DINING AREA- AFTERNOON

Enrique walks back and forth nervously.

ENRIQUE

Are you sure about this? Cause I'm not.

SAM

Look, you said we're running out of money. With a job like this, we have nothing to worry about.

ENRIQUE

Yeah, but only for a little bit.

SAM

This a big event. There's going to be a lot of big wigs there. If we pull this off, you can gain clients who'll hire you for future catering events. We just need to impress.

ENRIQUE

We who?

SAM

Well, while you serve the exquisite cuisine, I will be singing your praises to the guests.

ENRIQUE

Will he let you in too?

SAM

He will. We're tight.

ENRIQUE

How did you know Spencer Shay anyway?

SAM

You remember iCarly? The web show I used to run in high school?

ENRIQUE

Yeah, with your best friend, Carly. It was a phenomenon that helped inspired the social media generation...kinda like Iron Man with superhero films.

SAM

Yes, well. That was Carly's older brother. Back then, I knew him as this goof ball that unintentionally starts fires and keeps the fridge stacked.

ENRIQUE

You guys really are tight. You've never told me what happened between you guys.

SAM

Carly went to Italy to be with her dad, and I've decided to ride my motorcycle across the coast, who Spencer actually gave me which sets everything in motion. I rode all the way here, started a baby-sitting service which was shot to hell quickly, joined a biker gang until I met you. Every since, it's been smooth sailing.

ENRIQUE

Except during the pandemic. But, I believed we've gotten closer during that time.

SAM

Of course, we were stuck in the same house together. The government didn't give us a choice.

They giggled at each other as they sit on the couch.

SAM

But, Carly and I've kept in touch. I've learned she's back in Seattle, after going to college in Italy, got her degree in media and business, and now is a consultant to several social media sites. I'm proud of her.

ENRIQUE

I bet she's proud of you too.

SAM

Yeah right, nine years later and I'm still the same woman mooching off of her and her kinfolk.

ENRIQUE

No, this time you've created a business opportunity...which I'm all for accepting.

SAM

(smiling)

Yes!

She embraces him by the arms, and kisses him.

SAM (CONT)

This'll be great.

ENRIQUE

I've got a few ideas I can juggle around with. What other surprises can I expect?

INT. ANAHEIM CONVENTION CENTER- EVENING

At a stage, setting up the electric equipment, Freddie moves the cords from there to the facing cameras. Spencer walks up to him.

SPENCER

How's it going buddy? Can you get this all setup for tomorrow?

FREDDIE

All I have to do is connect these cords, and we are good to go.

SPENCER

Perfect, because I don't want anything to go wrong that night.

FREDDIE

Believe me, after two divorces and getting screwed in the tech industry, I need this job or I'll have no choice but to move back in with my mother. Trust me, I have no intentions of screwing this up.

As Freddie continues, a man with a long beard, man bun, purple eye shadow, and blue lipstick approaches Spencer.

SPENCER

Hey, Zan Housten my man.

ZAN

Ah, I told you. I'm like a non-binary, queer arts manager and you shall treat me as such. Stick with me, and your career will go fabo internationally... just as long as your agenda is ours! Kay?

SPENCER

(nervously)

Uh..Yeah. Sure.

ZAN

Lates'

Zan leaves. A black, fifth-grade, girl runs up to them with a woman in a suit chasing her down.

ASSISTANT WOMAN

I'm sorry. I tried to stop her.

MILLIE

Are you done or what? I'm bored.

FREDDIE

You have your phone. You can't find anything to do on your phone?

MILLIE

Probably..if I could get some stupid reception on it, and why hasn't anyone given me access to the WiFi here? I'm just a part of this team, so why haven't I've been given the WiFi password?

SPENCER

(calmly holding his frustration)

Millicent..I'm not your father (points to Freddie) he is. He and his last wife adopted you. Therefore, you're his responsibility. (releases outburst) Lash at him!

Spencer walks away; twitching his face and stiffing his body. The assistant follows him. Millie turns to her father.

MILLIE

Dad, why couldn't I have stayed at the hotel?

FREDDIE

Millie, you're safer with me here. You have no idea who's spying on you. Human traffickers pay for hotel rooms, too.

MILLIE

Ever since the pandemic and BLM riots, you've been really overprotective even through granny was the only one who kept us alive. Why can't I say home with her and mom? It's just as unsafe here as it is back there.

FREDDIE

You're right, it's not. But it's the lesser of the two evils, and because you're my daughter; I always want to make sure you're okay. (Freddie looks disgusted as he remembers his youth) Without being overbearing like your grandma..(shakes his head to expresses normal face) Trust me, she's tolerable as a grandmother than a mom.

MILLIE

Can we at least go to Dingoland after the party?

FREDDIE

Hasn't daddy tell you how Dingo badly screwed him?

Millie raises her eyebrow. Freddie rolls his eyes in defeat.

FREDDIE

Fine.

Millie smiles. Spencer comes back sipping down a ice tea through a bendy straw.

SPENCER

I'm good. I'm calm. Ice tea's made it all better. Oh, by the way, I found us a caterer. You remember ER Meals?

MILLIE

What's ER Meals?

FREDDIE

A former YouTuber who's made a name for himself by posting cooking videos. Like showing how to make fried chicken in your home, foods he's made, and cuisines from other nations. Also, and you're gonna be interested in this, he's the first Latino-American chef with a popular internet following.

MILLIE

You're right, it did interest me.

FREDDIE

(to Spencer)

He hasn't been causing traffic online for five years. How did you find him?

SPENCER

Actually, it was Sam who connected me with him.

Freddie gives a shocked, but joyous, expression.

FREDDIE

Sam? Sam Puckett?

SPENCER

Yeah. Can you believe that. Sam Puckett here in the area. It's like it was meant to be.

FREDDIE

(smiling)

Yeah, meant to be.

MILLIE

Now, this is the part where you tell me about Sam.

FREDDIE

(blushes in embarrassment)

A friend. A really good friend.

SPENCER

If you consider a girl who physically and verbally abuse you a friend. She tortured you every chance she got.

MILLIE

Seriously? Sounds like someone I wanna meet.

She looks at her phone, and raised it up. She smiles a bit.

MILLIE

Two bars, finally.

She walks a little away. Freddie and Spencer get closer to talk more.

FREDDIE

Sam's here. Do you know what this means? It means-

SPENCER

Now, wait a second. This doesn't mean that you guys will get back together. You-

FREDDIE

But, maybe it is. You said all of this was meant to be. Maybe all the misery and heartache I've experienced has lead up to this point. It's no coincidence that you've met her at one of the locations for your gallery tour.

SPENCER

Listen, before you make any rash decisions, there's something you should know-

FREDDIE

Is she coming?

SPENCER

Tomorrow at the afternoon. But-

FREDDIE

I gotta get ready.

Freddie leaves.

SPENCER

Freddie, wait!

Freddie's far away to hear him. Spencer gives a nervous grunt.

SPENCER

Oh, this won't end well.

INT. PR HOUSE- MORNING

Sam and Enrique head out to the door. Sam is looking at Enrique's phone.

SAM

No. No. No. Look, they're too many choices here.

ENRIQUE

You've never had that complaint before.

SAM

If it was a room full of Sams, it will be fine. But, these artsy-fartsy, hoity-toities will want the list to be as small as their pinkies.

ENRIQUE

I bet the liquor menu is long there.

SAM

Of course, it will. I've always learn that the best time to snag a client is when he or she is drunk. So, just choose from anything that sounds semi-vegan or small enough to serve as hors d'oeuvres. Something that'll make me order food outside of the party.

ENRIQUE

Well, I know that they'll for anything involving fish on a cracker or cheese.

SAM

We're taking your car, right?

ENRIQUE

Yeah. I doubt we both can fit on your ride.

SAM

Probably not. On the night of the party, let's drive through Burrito Fiesta.

They walk out the front door, after Sam gives Enrique his phone back.

INT. ANAHEIM CONVENTION CENTER- AFTERNOON

Enrique shows his presentation on his phone to Spencer and the assistant.

ENRIQUE

So, these three are basically the tolerable choices for appetizers; base on the social circles of the majority. But, if you want, I could add or subtract whatever you want.

SPENCER

Mini-wieners, or those mini pigs in a blanket with those fun dipping sauces.

Spencer imitates dipping a weiner and eating it; ending with an Italian "perfecto" motion.

ASSISTANT WOMAN

Uh, you know Zan won't allow that. Miniature hot dogs are visual discrimination and labeling.

SPENCER

(sadly sighs)

Oh. Never mind, I guess.

ENRIQUE

Okay..any other ideas?

SPENCER

Oh. I've invent this food call spaghetti tacos, you've probably seen them on Food Fight and ICarly. It's prepared spaghetti in a taco shell. It's so fun. You bite through it, and you can slurp up the dropped spaghetti noodles like..

He intimates eating a spaghetti tacos. The assistant motions him.

ASSISTANT WOMAN

Uh..spaghetti tacos? With taco shells filled with meat-sauced noodles. Again, That's on the no-no, too bigoted to serve list.

SPENCER

Are you kidding me?!

ASSISTANT WOMAN

Why else would gender-neutral specified pronoun Housten is having legal to non-stop get Food Fight to censor that episode.

SPENCER

(more depressed)

Oh, I didn't know that.

ASSISTANT WOMAN

(to Enrique)

Your first choices are fine.

She walks away.

ENRIQUE

Sorry, bro.

SPENCER

(waves his hand)

Ah, phew, don't worry. Gotta remember it ain't about me. Even though it's my artwork they're showcasing, but..whatever. So, You're Sam's husband?

SAM

Yeah, and it's been a wonderful marriage.

SPENCER

A wonderful marriage? With Sam? Are you insane?

ENRIQUE

Hey, she told me all about her past. It doesn't bother me. In fact, I've found it hot.

Spencer widens his eyes in disbelief.

SPENCER

Are you sure you're not insane?

Enrique laughs. Spencer fall back depressed.

SPENCER

Anyway, I better go check on my gallery.

He walks away mopping. Meanwhile, Sam walks to Enrique. Freddie spots her, and fixes up his hair. He walks out to her.

FREDDIE

Sam?

Sam is surprised and turns around in shock as Freddie walks up to her.

SAM

Holy crap.

She gives him a "good to see him" hug. Freddie closes his eyes; thinking it was something more. They let go.

SAM

Fred-weird Benson. It's good to see you.

FREDDIE

Yeah, it has been awhile.

SAM

What are you doing here?

FREDDIE

I'm helping Spencer set up the equipment here such as lights, sound, and such. Yes, I'm still involved in tech.

SAM

Please, tell me you still don't live with your mother 'cause that would be really frightening.

FREDDIE

Luckily no. I do have a daughter from my last marriage, though we're divorced now.

SAM

Ouch!

FREDDIE

Yeah, I'm still single. So, listen, if you want to go grab a-

ENRIQUE

Hi, hon.

Enrique comes over. He and Sam kissed and embrace each other. Freddie is hit with excruciating disappointment.

SAM

How did it go?

ENRIQUE

Well, I'm in.

SAM

Oh, this is one of my old friends, Freddie.

ENRIQUE

(shakes Freddie's hand)

Oh, hi there. I'm Enrique, the ER Meals guy. You're one of the ICarly crew that worked with my wife here?

FREDDIE

Wife?

SAM

Yes, Freddie. Enrique is..my husband.

Freddie's inner pain adds more to the revelation. Sam feels bad dropping this bomb on him, but relieved; as she figured Freddie was gonna try to start things up again.

TO BE CONTINUED