Chapter 1: Press start to begin existence.

Ugh… GOD, what happened? I would be concerned that I can't remember what happened last night, but that isn't that big of a deal…. Feels like I cracked my face open.

What happened, you pseudo-deity, is that you have just gained access to the Divinity System!

I….. Faintly heard the sounds of confetti poppers as a blue screen, thankfully not filled with a universal error code, "graced" my view. Guess I finally went insane.

…..WAIT. "Divinity System"? Like, from that one fanfic I read?... Okay, so, either I have access to the greatest thing ever, or worst ever.

The system takes grave offense to the fact you would ever believe It could ever be anything other than a blessing.

Well, excuuuuuse me, PRINCESS, for being just a bit paranoid after having my entire life fuck itself right in the gob. Where the fuck even am I? I know for a fact I don't live smack the fuck dab in the middle of a forest, 7 miles away from the village of Bitchfield.

...Someone's tongue is a rainbow.

Stealing-

And by the way, you're in a random forest in Remnant.

…...The remnant of what?

The Remnant of 2 brothers who reaaaaaally need family counseling.

….alright, grimmdark evolution world it is. I can deal with this. Main objectives: Stay under the searchlights of the wonder-fuck wizard of Oz and miss tall, dark and psychotic herself; maybe steal some of the relics, if it does not put me under sufficient firepower; get aura, if I even can; and prevent Jacques "The cockess" Gelé from becoming Jacques "The cockess" Schnee.

Probably gonna need to make a list of how exactly to go about completing them at some point.

Anyways, now that introductions are out of the way, domain time~!

A whole log of possible "domains" was unveiled before my eyes. If only I knew what that actually meant.

Oh, please, you read Rick Riordan, you know what it means.

Now, under normal circumstances, a person would be hard-pressed to choose something on the spot. Even more so choosing something GOOD. Thankfully, I already know what to pick….. "Uh, does this thing have a search list?" At my command, a search bar showed up. Ask, and ye shalt receive, no? Anyways, I searched up and acquired my…. "Wait, how many do I get to choose?"

No more than than 3, but the more you pick, the more difficult it will be to strengthen your affinities. Think carefully.

…...I know EXACTLY how I am going to become the most overpowered godling this side of the (broken) moon.

Liquids affinity selected.

Theres my offensive option; can range from changing the state of water in the air to ice and goring a man from the inside out, changing the air in their lungs into water and drowning them (or giving them severe lung deficiencies for the rest of their life), to just straight up boiling a man's blood.

Reflection affinity selected.

Defensive option for obvious reasons; i just hope Atlas, the company, doesn't mind me stealing tetrakarn and makarakarn. Cause god knows I will be abusing them to the utmost of my ability… what little I start off with.

And now, for what is my most esoteric option.

Dimensions affinity selected.

Support option. Now, this is definitely gonna fuck with how I use it, since it is the MOST complex one so far, but this? This counts as both Dimensions, the astro-physics term, and Dimensions, the mathematical term. While yes, this grants me access to the succulent, overpowered Meteor and, fuck, maybe even Supernova… but it also allows me to make length, width, height, and, eventually, theoretically, Time my bitch. Gonna have myself my own fuckin ZA WARUDO moments once I get op. Definitely gonna make my own Bites za Dusto as well. And to top it all off, I could eventually create my own little league of selves, like what Xehanort did. Hell, if I grind quick enough, may even get to fiddle-fuck with RWBY, maybe even let Arkos sail properly. That is the name, right?

Yes. And i never knew you were into those 4 like that, User~

Okay, first of all, you are directly linked to my metaphysical structure, if I am correct in the origin of the System, you know I ain't like that shit, second of all, they are fucking kids except for Yang, I don't give a damn WHAT the age laws here are, I am running off of what I was risen with. And lastly, I have a name you binary bastard. Oooooh, gonna have to write that one down.

I-

I'm just gonna tell you that that is akin to a racial slur in my community, so let us all learn from this situation, and move on.

For everyone's sake, you better not be lying, because lying about slurs is a move only people who deserve to stub their toe, and then immediately step on a lego. Moving on, how does power work?

Well, the slaughtering of Grimm and theft of their essence counts as 1 point of divinity. Every person partaking in a second-hand belief of you- be it an urban legend about you, or a straight-up bastardization- adds 5 points. First-hand belief- someone acknowledging of a deity at least similar to yourself- adds 10 points. Worshippers- people who pray to you at least tri-weekly [who are allowed to have a less accurate image of you], or acknowledge a very accurate representation of you [as in, only your appearance, physique, or voice] as a reality, and that you are above simple mortality- grant 20 points. Priests- people who have given their lives to devote themselves to the worship of you, or even just studying how- grant 35 points. Churches, established buildings meant for the worship of your divine visage, grant 80 points [Note: this also only needs to be a 70% accurate image to be valid]. A miracle bonus- which occurs when you perform an action that drastically changes a person's lifestyle, usually for the better [hence the "miracle"]- is worth 5x points, with x being equal to the amount of times you have received this bonus. Finally, the divinity slayer bonus- which occurs when you land the killing blow on ANYTHING with a properly tended spark of divinity, which includes but is not limited to the maidens, silver-eyes rose-red soldiers, to even old as hell Grimm, which is 10 to the power of X, with X being the amount of times you received this bonus.

Wow. That is… rather elaborate, actually.

The system is rather proud of its work.

So….. I should get to grinding, yes?

Verily so.

Cheers. Wait, do I have stats?

As a pseudeity, you have no need for most of those measly numbers. I have, however, crafted a hud; it holds a measure of how much damage you can sustain until your current flesh dress fails you, how much Aura you possess if you unlock it, and what divine rank you are currently at; you can think of it as your Level.

…...Man, you are cool.

The System would like to know an uncommon fact.

The System appears to be narcissistic.

No, it is not. The System is physically incapable of being narcissistic, because that would imply I am over exemplifying my greatness, which you can only under-exaggerate.