Nine Roses, a sk8 the infinity/sk エスケーエイト fanfic

A red petal blooms on his index finger. Some types of pain start as a pinprick sensation that slowly builds up into something painful. Minor accidents like this are not noticeable if the mind is busy elsewhere, but once noticed, the pain becomes too much. Maybe it is the strange feeling of change that does that. Tadashi stops what he is doing to check where the discomfort is coming from. Seeing blood bubble in the torn skin of his fingertip, he rubs his thumb against his index finger and continues to prune. Making the rose bushes beautiful and well maintained is a habit that he can't give up no matter how busy he is. Trimming them is a comfort to him. The sweet smell of the roses tingling his nose early in the morning is something that he loves. Tadashi takes nine flowers and brings them back with him.

Tadashi Kikuchi has been the secretary of the Shindo family for years. It is about time he starts his work so he makes his way to Ainosuke's room with the nine roses he picked from the garden.

"Ainosuke-sama has changed lately."

"What do you mean?

"Didn't you notice he isn't as harsh towards Kikuchi-san like before?"

Hearing maids gossip is not something new. And yet, the conversation catches Tadashi by surprise so much that he has to stop walking. Work at the mansion is bland. Most of the servants engage in a routine that is almost painful as it is boring so they search for a past time to make their work bearable. Tadashi should know, but when it comes to gossip surrounding him and his young master, it's always hard for him to compose himself. When he manages to pull himself together, Tadashi quietly passes by, and greets them civilly. The two maids bow their heads in greeting and look at each other anxiously as if their secret was found out by the person that shouldn't find out.

Change? What are they talking about? There is no change.

Ainosuke's bedroom door looks menacingly large as it looms over Tadashi. Tadashi knocks on Ainosuke's door waiting to be called inside. He glances at the roses that he brought. Spring has begun. He wishes that these flowers will work as a charm to bring Ainosuke happiness and fortune. After a while, a faint voice tells him to come in. He enters the room and politely gives his greetings. When he makes his way towards the curtains, he doesn't dare look at Ainosuke. Tadashi opens the curtains and ties them up to allow light to filter inside the room. Now able to maneuver better, he puts the old roses away and replaces them with the ones that he picked. He walks to the bed to help Ainosuke get dressed. Obediently, Ainosuke stands up. The young master looks at Tadashi over his bangs that cover his spiteful left eye. Tadashi does not mind the look but it is discomforting. To fend away the strange feeling it made him feel, Tadashi blinks and politely begins to tug on Ainosuke's collar. While buttoning the other's shirt, he accidentally brushes a finger on the younger man's collar bone. He looks up to apologize only to be forced to look away.

Eyes gleaming with something feel heavy on him. Tadashi can't explain it. Maybe this was the change they meant? His heavy stares? Yet, no matter how much he thinks about it, nothing has changed. Ainosuke treats him the same way he treats him. Sure he doesn't snap at him violently anymore whenever he gets angry, but that could be easily explained by paying attention to his moods.

The last button on Ainosuke's shirt is closed. Tadashi walks towards Ainosuke's wardrobe to pick his vest and suit. Ainosuke lets him choose what he wears. Tadashi's freedom to dress him made him feel like Ainosuke is always dressing up especially for him. There is no lying - he relished this fact. His eyes roam at the number of ties and finally settles on a blue one at the corner. Ainosuke obediently wears the clothes. When Ainosuke finishes wearing his vest and suit, Tadashi steps forward to help him put on his tie but Ainosuke stops his hand. The touch catches Tadashi off guard. He looks up and is greeted by Ainosuke smiling at him. There is something ominous in that smile but he pays it no mind, instead, he waits for him to let go.

"I can do it by myself."

Tadashi nods.

What is he up to? Tadashi wonders. This time he is brave enough to gaze at Ainosuke longer. The light filtering inside the room illuminated Ainosuke's figure as he fixed his tie. His high nose looked handsome framed by his slicked hair. The image is a reminder of how good looking Ainosuke is. Tadashi snaps out of his daydream by reading Ainosuke's schedule for the day.

"Cancel my morning plans. They're not that important. Those old geezers just want to bond. Let's just go to the beach and eat at that shop you visit all the time."

'We're going to the beach with these clothes on?"

"Sometimes it helps to go on a detour. Silly pup, you don't even know how to have fun?"

Tadashi doesn't respond.

"That shop is open right?"

"Ainosuke-sama, the cook has probably prepared food already, you don't need to eat outside."

"I've already told her I won't be eating here."

"But…"

Ainosuke smiles, "What? Is my little doggie opposing me again?" Tadashi is ready for the hair pull but instead Ainosuke lifts his chin up. There is a softness to the touch that made Tadashi's mouth tremble. Ainosuke's thumb was only inches away from Tadashi's mouth. The thought of how close it is makes Tadashi feel a throbbing sensation in between his thighs. This sensation isn't not something new to Tadashi. He is a man too. Of course he gets aroused when teased like this. By now he knew how to manage the bouts of passion that fluctuates within him. After all, such a temptation is ever present in his work. He wasn't sure if Ainosuke was aware of how enticing he is when he does this.

Sometimes, Tadashi has to fight back.

He takes Ainosuke's hand. The seconds dragged on, but it was enough to remind him of the difference between their builds. Ainosuke is taller and has larger hands. The sight of knuckles was irresistible. Tadashi brushes his fingers against the knuckles nonchalantly, pretending he didn't intend to. It was difficult not to try to caress, as he felt them underneath the skin. Ainosuke shifts. It makes Tadashi feel a little excited.

"That's not it." Tadashi says softly, holding Ainosuke's gaze. He feels a tug as his master steps in. When it looks like Ainosuke is going to lean in, somehow, he feels nervous. Ainosuke doesn't push through with the action; he merely continues to smile devilishly. Even though his face looked as laconic as ever, Tadashi was relieved. He turns Ainosuke's hand over and gets a flinch from Ainosuke. Satisfaction was the emotion Tadashi lives off of as he concentrates on buttoning the cuff of Ainosuke's sleeve.

Playing master and servant was something that comforted Tadashi. This way, he could stay by Ainosuke's side. By staying by his side, he can protect him as well as atone for the things that he's done that made Ainosuke the way he was now. Moments like this are enough to soothe his guilt. Knowing that Ainosuke had an adorable side was merely icing on the cake. He was the only one that knows this side of him after all. However, Tadashi knows his limitations and he is reminded of it when he tightens Ainosuke's tie and breathes in his perfume. It excites Tadashi nonetheless. His own heartbeat rings in his ears as he is overwhelmed by excitement. He thinks of the nine roses that he always brought for Ainosuke and reminisces the way the other used to smile.

Maybe something did change. Maybe it was not only with Ainosuke but with him as well. An alarm goes off forcing him to stop thinking. Tadashi withdraws. It was time to go.

The trip to the shop wasn't long but it allowed Ainosuke plenty of time to think about various things. Since his last beef, thoughts of his relationship with Tadashi bothered him. A scrutiny of his fixation on skateboarding necessarily includes it. It's inevitable. He has to face it. That is, if he wants to figure out what he intends to do with skating, and with his relationship with Tadashi.

He lifts his fox eyes and settles it at Tadashi's reflection in the front view mirror. At the sight of Tadashi's soft hair and weary eyes, Ainosuke feels a certain warmth. Weird that the bitterness and anger he used to feel when looking at him was now replaced by that kind of feeling. As he studies the other's face, his thoughts get muddled. The way Tadashi flutters his eyelids appears coquettish. As if hearing his thoughts, Tadashi looks up. Ainosuke jumps a little, his heart skipping a beat. For a brief moment, he feels cold and embarrassed. But he doesn't look away.

Tadashi's eyes shifts back to the road. He drawls that they'll arrive soon. The awkwardness makes Ainosuke look over his shoulder to gaze at the changing scenery beyond his window. He really has to stop looking at Tadashi. Earlier, he almost leaned in for a kiss. Embarrassing. Didn't he learn from previous experience not to be hasty and easy? Stuff like this is always bad news.

After a few moments they arrive at the shop. When they enter, the owner has just begun to open. The shop is neither big nor small. It's just the perfect size for an average eatery. Ainosuke looks around. There are no customers there yet. He follows Tadashi to the counter.

"Good morning Sato-san."

"Good morning to you too Tadashi-kun. I see you brought a…" The shop owner trails off and gasps.

"Good morning Shindo-sama, we're pleased to accommodate you here. "

Ainosuke flashes his politician smile.

"I heard good things about this shop from Kikuchi-san so I was looking forward to visiting."

"I'm really happy to hear that."

"Sato-san, it's because I really love your cooking."

"Makes you grateful you're friends with Take right?"

Tadashi smiles slightly. At this sight, the corner of Ainosuke's mouth twitches.

Take?

Ainsouke tried to keep a straight face but it was hard.

"Who's Take?"

"Ah, Take is my son. He and Tadashi used to be classmates in school. Take is busy lately so he rarely comes home."

"If you have something that you want me to pass to him, I can do it for you."

Listening to their conversation gave Ainosuke a glimpse of Tadashi's life outside of his mansion. He always thought that Tadashi had no friends. As dull and plain as he was, he was not someone Ainosuke expected to get along with people. In fact, to Ainosuke's knowledge, he doesn't get along well with the other servants at the mansion. However, maybe that isn't actually the case. Him being wrong this entire time made Ainosuke crave for a cigarette. A mix of anger and anxiety bubbles in his chest.

It's been a long time since he felt something like this, as if he was being left behind. He has no reason to worry though. It is just a fact that he and Tadashi lived in two different worlds, and yet, he still can't get used to the thought of it. Not in the past, and by the looks of it, not even at the present time. Even though many years have gone by since the day he was forcibly made to realize their different stations in life, somehow the pain that it caused still has the same intensity as it had before. The line that separates them is wide and deep. They are like asymptotes who can only get closer but unfortunately can never meet. Maybe this is the reason why their friendship didn't last.

The food arrives and they both eat peacefully. As he steals a glance at Tadashi, he sees the other's eyes sparkle. It reminds him again how much Tadashi likes this shop. Ainosuke has never seen Tadashi eat. This is the first time they are dining together. Ainosuke smiles. He's glad that he finally got to ask him out with him after all these years. After realizing that he couldn't forget about the fun times that they both had, he's been trying to get along well with him. The satisfaction that he gets from looking at Tadashi's puffed cheeks is something like a consolation to the feeling of loneliness he felt earlier when he couldn't relate to the shop owner and Tadashi's conversation.

A thought pops in his head. Tadashi and Take. What is the two's relationship? They seem close. But, how close? Tadashi puts his bowl down as he finishes his food. He utters his thanks at the shopowner who smiles happily at him.

Out of spite, Ainosuke feels the urge to tease him a little bit.

"Tadashi."

Tadashi turns to look at him.

"You have something on your face."

That's a lie. There is nothing there, but Ainosuke just needed an excuse to lean in close. Tadashi looks surprised. At that moment Ainosuke wants to tell him that he is his. No Take or anyone for that matter will change that. He feels a weird feeling in his chest. It's something that is hard to hold back and is also the reason why he never intended to acknowledge Tadashi's place in his life. His desires just pile up that he feels like he's going to choke on it.

Ainosuke wipes the corner of Tadashi's parted mouth while wondering what it would taste like. With those lips, it was impossible not to want to nibble it. He tries to remind himself Tadashi is plain, but he still ends up reacting to his looks. He blinks to snap out of his reverie. They pay and thank the shop owner for the good food and set off to the beach.

Okinawa was home to a number of beautiful beaches. As it is a chain of islands, it offers a wide range of idyllic sceneries and sunsets and sunrises to go with it. A glimpse of such beauty is in front of Ainosuke's eyes as he gazes upon the patch of shore line extending from corner to corner. The salty scent of the ocean makes him want to take a dip in the water. He has to remind himself that he is just there for a breather and not to swim. From where they are, he sees the surface of the sea glisten. They stop. Ainosuke heads to the shore. Tadashi gets out of the car but he doesn't move further.

"What are you doing? Let's go together."

He grabbed Tadashi's arm and guides him to the beach.

"I should treat my little doggy nicely sometimes. You're really a good dog after all."

Ainosuke's touch chaffs as he is dragged to the beach. Tadashi stares at Ainosuke's wide back and remembers the time he used to drag him like this when they were younger. The nostalgic sound of his childish giggles and the sight of his warm smile flashed in Tadashi's mind. At that time, Ainosuke was smaller. Now, he's grown into a full adult. Time flies in the blink of an eye. Those times when Ainosuke couldn't lift a finger to hurt him nor could throw mean words at anyone felt like it came from a bygone era. Such is life. Everyone changes. And sometimes, it's not for the better.

Holding Tadashi's hand was like holding something for the first time even though he has held his hand like this before. Fingers that wrap Tadashi's hand feel like burning. Ainosuke wants to stop the sensation by wringing the other's wrist to hurt him. He was ready to, but when he turns and finds Tadashi smiling looking at the horizon, he is thrown off balance. When Tadashi glances at him with a gentle smile, he feels like someone punched him in the gut. The sound of the waves as it licks the shoreline resounds at the distance. Ainosuke realizes that it is only a matter of time before he finally loses control and does something bad.

It doesn't matter. He won't mind. After all, Tadashi is just his dog. He will do anything Ainosuke asks him to. And yet, the thought of what Tadashi will do or how he will respond scares him. It's clear to him that Tadashi is capable of doing something that could surprise him. He is capable of opposing him when he thinks it's necessary to do so, because of that, no one can tell how or what he would do when that time comes. Furthemore, Ainosuke doesn't know anything about him. The thought settles in his mind and it makes him feel sad. He continues to gaze at Tadashi. Hair dancing with the wind and arms shielding eyes from the rays of the sun, Tadashi looked so unbelievably bright. Ainosuke looks away, hating himself a little bit for finding the other beautiful.

"I didn't know you liked the sea."

"There's no particular reason. It comforts me the same way as tending to the roses in your garden."

The conversation fades. Despite the strange feelings he is bombarded with, somehow he feels a little bit closer to Tadashi than ever before. It lights a hope in his heart, a hope he doesn't understand what for.

S beefs don't cease. While Ainosuke can't go to watch the races all the time, he still manages to watch them live. Tadashi streams it for him like he always does. Langa and Reki haven't been at S for quite some time so when he hears they decided to participate again, Ainosuke decides to come visit to watch Langa skate. For Langa's comeback beef, Ainosuke asks Tadashi to buy him a bouquet of flowers. Tadashi wants to give a good gift. Ainosuke doesn't think about minor details like the number of roses as Tadashi does. He just wants to impress Langa. When he gives the roses to Langa, Langa just stares at them uncaringly.

"Stop making me a substitute for the person you really want to give these to. You should just be honest."

Langa takes three roses and gives them to Reki. He whispers something that made Reki blush.

Ainosuke couldn't say anything.

How cute. Nothing like us.

Tadashi waits inside the car and watches the events unfold from his monitor.

Langa doesn't complain whenever Ainosuke bothers him so it was quite a shock he would say something like that.

You should just be honest.

Ainosuke returns home in a bad mood. He leaves the car without speaking to Tadashi, eager to go to his room to watch the footage of his beef with Langa and Reki. Looking at the videos make him remember how he used to enjoy giving them misery. The look on Reki's face when he did love hug still satisfied him, especially now since Langa made his intentions towards Reki clear.

He pauses on a clip focusing on Langa's smiling face as he looks at Reki. A memory flashes in his mind. Now he sees his younger self smiling at a younger Tadashi clutching the skateboard that Tadashi gave him. He turns the monitor off and slumps on the bed. His search for "Eve" was meaningless after all. In the end he is just trying to run away from his true feelings. This was clear to him now. On a whim, he decides to visit Tadashi's room. There's no particular meaning to it. He has never visited Tadashi's room before. Maybe, something will happen if he does. Maybe he'll find out something that will turn him off and force him to stop his foolish attachment.

When he gets to his room, it seems that Tadashi just got back, standing in front of his own room, untying his tie while reaching out to open the door.

They both went inside the room. Tadashi was hesitant to let him in, but he couldn't deny Ainosuke anything. At least on some things.

"You wanted to talk?" Tadashi breaks the awkward silence.

Ainosuke notices that Tadashi looks exhausted. It is obvious from his pale complexion and his tired eyes. Not minding Ainosuke's presence, Tadashi takes off his suit. He gets out of his polo shirt and is down to his tank top. Ainosuke swallows a lump in his throat at the sight of Tadashi's skin. He walks closer to him, wondering how that skin would taste. It was not helping that the room smelled of Tadashi's perfume.

"I just.. I just wanted to look at your room."

When Ainosuke's eyes shift back to Tadashi's, he sees a bruise on the other's left shoulder. A few red lacerations that looked like nail scratches peaked at his clothes. It looks like it was inflicted just recently. Ainosuke swallows the bubbling anger in his chest. He clenches his fists and scrambles for any topic to talk about to hold it back down.

"There's nothing here though."

"I want to visit Sato-san's shop again. Maybe this time we can deliver something for him."

"You've become quite fond of the shop aren't you Ainosuke-sama? It's fine if you want to. But I already met with Take yesterday."

Tadashi turns his back on Ainosuke, exposing his marks. Ainosuke bites his lip and comes menacingly closer.

"You have a bruise on your left shoulder. What happened?"

Ainosuke is close enough for Tadashi to feel the warmth of his breath. Enclosing Tadashi between his two arms, he tries to corner him, but Tadashi doesn't care, he shoves Ainosuke's arm away to check the bruise on the mirror.

That idiot Take!

Tadashi turns red.

That perverted idiot!

It is clear on Tadashi's face how that bruise came about. The look on his face revealed it all. Ainosuke has no doubts that Take was the one who left that bruise. He walks closer and leans in for a whisper. Glancing at Tadashi's aghast reflection in the mirror, he whispers.

"Is my little doggie actually irresponsible? That's not good. Bad boy." He pretends not to know. Surely, Tadashi doesn't think he could get away with pretending it was just some random accident that caused that bruise. Ainosuke knows because he always wanted to mark him like that too.

Anger is something ever present in Ainosuke. In his hands, in his eyes, and in the pits of his stomach. He can easily summon it if he wanted to. But more than anger, frustration is mixed in that glare he throws at Tadashi's bruise. His hands tremble as anger rises within him. He wants to stop whatever he is about to do, yet his body still moves on its own. He grabs Tadashi by the neck and takes a bite on the same spot. Tadashi winces from the pain. He tries to pull Ainosuke away but the other doesn't want to let go. Ainosuke holds him and bites him harder.

"It hurts!" This time, Tadashi raises his voice as he continues to pull on Ainosuke's clothes.

"Ainosuke-sama.. Stop What's gotten into you? Please stop!"

Images of bodies entwined, familiar arms clinging onto a stranger's neck flash in Ainosuke's mind. He can't stop himself from imagining Tadashi's aroused face wanting a stranger so desperately it makes him dizzy from the anger. He shoves Tadashi away from him.

"What's wrong Ainosuke-sama? Are you okay?"

Ainosuke scrambles for words but he can't summon any of them. He's finally lost control. He tries to find excuses on why he did what he did but he couldn't find any suitable one.

"Sorry," he says uncharacteristically. Shocked by his own actions, he doesn't dare look at Tadashi at all. There is a little bleeding on the place where he bit him.

He offers to help Tadashi disinfect it.

"No, you don't have to. I can take care of it by myself. Ainosuke-sama, you should rest. Tomorrow will be a long day."

Tadashi can't stop thinking about Ainosuke's actions. He was surprised by the bite. His master may do ridiculous things sometimes but this was not something he would normally do. The phone on his bed vibrates and it temporarily takes the thought of Ainosuke off his mind. He sees a message from Take.

"Hey, wanna hook up again? When are you free?"

"Your bite left a bruise. Ainosuke-sama saw it."

"Eh? Why?"

"I was undressing and he saw."

"Hmm.. I don't get it."

"He bit me on the exact same spot."

"What? That's hilarious. He must be jealous. Oh, isn't that great?

"It's not!"

"Oh baby boy is sulking."

"Shut up!"

"This idiot."

"Is your shoulder okay?" Ainosuke asks as Tadashi helps him dress.

"It's fine, it will heal in time."

"Well, let me see."

Tadashi panics as Ainosuke undresses him.

"Wait! You don't need to."

"I'm just going to check if you took care of it properly."

Tadashi gives up and stops protesting.

"That's a good boy."

"I overdid it. I don't know what got into me when I bit you."

Tadashi looks troubled.

That look again, as if he can't believe I can be gentle.

Despite what he said, looking at the wound gives Ainosuke some kind of satisfaction. He erased the mark that that guy left and replaced it with his own.

The sight of the bandage on Tadashi's shoulder makes him feel good.

It's a long day. Ainosuke is busy attending lectures and seminars. When he is finally done for the day, he sees Tadashi conversing with a stranger.

"Should I just ask the office to transfer me here so that we can play all the time?"

He sees Tadashi lean in to whisper coquettishly to the other guy, a gesture Ainosuke has never seen him do. The other's ears flush. What Tadashi said made him giggle.

"You're so nasty don't you know?"

A hand was about to touch Tadashi when Ainosuke interrupted them. Ainosuke locks eyes with the stranger. Instead of returning the malice, the guy offers him a smile.

"I should go. Take care baby boy." The tall stranger steals a peck on Tadashi's cheek. Tadashi almost chased after him to lecture him for that. Ainosuke doesn't say anything. He looks away and waits for Tadashi to open the car for him.

The ride home is awkwardly silent.

Tadashi offers, "The person I was with earlier was Take, the shop owner's son."

"I see."

Ainosuke didn't bother asking questions. When they arrived, he announced, "Get me my skateboard. I feel like skating today."

"But you had a very tiring day. I think it's better for you to rest."

"Dogs don't have an opinion."

—-

Ainosuke has too many things on his mind. After three routines he takes a rest and smokes a cigarette. Tadashi sits a bit farther away from him.

Tadashi's relationship with the Take guy irritates the hell out of him, enough to crush a burning cigarette on his palm.

"Ainosuke-sama… you're hurting yourself." Tadashi scrambles as he rushes to stop Ainosuke. Ainosuke lets the cigarette go to grab Tadashi in a choke hold. The pressure of the other's fingers makes Tadashi gag. Ainosuke doesn't press hard, he just glares at him. As he looks unrelenting into his master's eyes, Tadashi doesn't struggle. Like he always does, he accepts Ainosuke's cruelty. This is how he wants to fight back.

As he gazes into his master's eyes, Tadashi discovers a sadness in his master's gaze that he can't explain. He is taking the defensive but why does it seem like he was the one who's inflicting the pain? He sees something flicker in them. Was that disappointment? Envy? Desire? He doesn't know. Whatever it was, it makes Ainosuke's hand tremble. Without saying a word, Ainosuke leaves..

"The young master is at it again. And here I thought his attitude towards Kikuchi-san somehow changed."

"His moods were better lately and he isn't as cold to him as before. But now, I feel like he gets angry all the time."

Tadashi hides as he listens to the maids' conversation. He doesn't quite understand it himself. It was true that Ainosuke's moods were good recently and both of them got along better than they usually do, but this coldness was something expected. In fact, this behavior relieved him of the uneasiness that was caused by his "change". Tadashi clutches the nine roses that he got from the garden as he knocks on Ainosuke's bedroom door.

Cigarette smoking could somehow numb the heavy feelings that he feels inside. That's the reason Ainosuke is addicted to it. He takes a drag as he skates with thoughts muddled by a combination of work and personal problems. He takes a turn and ends up slipping, Tadashi runs and catches him before he falls. In his arms, Ainosuke just stares as if he wants to say something. The younger man's thoughtful face settled into a smile.

"You really are a good dog aren't you Tadashi? Won't you praise your Master?"

Tadashi begins the litany of praises. It's like a routine now. He doesn't think much about it. Ainosuke just listens, bored. Hearing these empty praises doesn't make him happy, it only makes him angry.

"Good." Ainosuke searches for a certain emotion on Tadashi's face, but he can't find it. All of a sudden, he remembers the way Tadashi's facial expressions changed when he was with that guy, Take.

Understanding the nuances of love is not something that everyone can learn. Love is complicated as it is. A person can pretend to understand love completely, but that's just about it. Ainosuke always puts love on a pedestal. He believes in it, but deep inside, he believes that it doesn't exist, or if it ever did, it's something rare. That's why he seeks it, and when he thinks he has found it, he tries to destroy it. Love, he's learned, meant pain. He doesn't want pain, so he'd rather destroy it like how he destroyed the hopes and dreams of his eves. He destroys it like how his love got destroyed many years ago by the person who taught him its true meaning.

Truly, it was all meaningless now. With those marks and body language, Ainosuke is rejected the second time around. It's like a slap to the face. The person he wants to offer his love to has already offered his to someone else. Maybe that was the reason he broke his heart. All that is left to resort to is seduction. Seduction comes naturally to him. It was something he's always used to gain something but somehow he falls short when he needs it the most.

The feeling of loss becomes unbearable as he continues to gaze at Tadashi . As if to console him, the rain starts to pour. Tadashi puts him down. The rain feels colder than the last time. Ainosuke stays still. His wet eyelashes flutter. His emotions and thoughts are drowned by the sound of the rain. Tadashi takes off his suit jacket and covers him with it. Ainosuke feels warmer. Tadashi takes him to the canopy near the rose garden so that they can both take shelter from the rain.

Soaked. Clothes sticking to his skin, Tadashi stands beside Ainosuke wringing out water from his shirt. Tadashi's downcast eye is framed by his dark hair sticking to his pale face. Droplets from his hair fall to the ground with a plink sound. A droplet trailed the line of his nose. Ainosuke can see through his white polo shirt. He catches a glimpse of the leftovers of the bruise on the other's shoulder and is gripped by an intense desire. He swallows a lump in his throat at the sight of it. Emotions and unnecessary thoughts were not the only ones drowned by the sound of the pouring rain, it also drowned all of Ainosuke's rational thoughts.

"Tadashi."

Tadashi turns to respond to his name. Ainosuke doesn't waste time, he pulls Tadashi for a kiss.

Ainosuke had already kissed many, but it escapes him why his hands tremble as he clutches Tadashi's arm. The warmth from the other's soft mouth ignites his insides and lights up something soft in his chest. Relief spread all over his body. None of the earlier hesitation and discomfort was there. He wants to continue feeling the sensation from the kiss that's why he doesn't want to let him go. Ainosuke licks Tadashi's bottom lip and cups his face for a much deeper kiss.

Tadashi freezes in place at the gesture, unable to process what's happening.

Tadashi pulls away. This forced Ainosuke to withdraw reluctantly. The redness of his face exposes every emotion he has for the older man. Eyes dark with hopelessness and frustration, Ainosuke tries to find an excuse for the kiss.

"What's with that face? Can't I kiss my little doggie? I can do whatever I want, right?"

Tadashi is quiet. He makes a sad face and lands a soft punch on Ainosuke's chest. Unable to resist, Ainosuke pulls him again for another kiss. Tadashi struggles and pales. He shoves Ainosuke off him.

"Stop it!"

"Ah, do you hate me that much?

Tadashi doesn't reply.

Ainosuke clicks his tongue and leaves. He walks back to the mansion alone.

"You know Tadashi, I like you. Do you like me too?"

"Yes, I like you too."

"Tadashi, I think it's better not to get too close to the young master."

The rain continues to fall. It's pelting sound makes Tadashi remember the past. He touches his mouth and the place where Ainosuke had bitten him. He remembers the constant nags of Ainosuke's Aunts about marriage and his Mom's reprimands on getting too close. He flutters his eyelids and looks up at the sky. He feels troubled as he sees the faint broken lines that fall from the sky.

This is bad. I've done it again.

Tadashi feels a lump in his throat as he tries to find the reason for the painful sting he feels in his chest. He gazes at the rose garden where he used to play with Ainosuke. He didn't intend to return to that painful time. He intends to forget all about it, but why did Ainosuke have to kiss him again after all these years? Tadashi takes random roses from the garden and clutches them in his hand. The thorns prick him but he lets them. His hand bleeds but he doesn't mind. When he returned to the mansion and was found by the maids he was greeted by the aghast look on their faces.

"Kikuchi-san what happened to you?"

Even when they saw his bleeding hand, they didn't ask questions. They took the thorns out and wrapped his hand with a clean towel.

Tadashi just stands there in a daze as he waits. One of the maids helped him dry his hair. He thanks her. Lifelessly, he heads to his room. He stands outside of his door to call someone.

"Are you free right now?"

"Yes, I got off early today. But don't you have work tomorrow?"

"It's fine…. I wanna see you. Let's play."

"Are you okay?Just text me."

Tadashi was about to enter his room when he was shoved inside. The roses fell from his grasp. Some of the petals scattered on the floor. In the darkness, he can't see clearly, but when lightning lit up the sky, he saw Ainosuke's figure loom over him.

"Ainosuke-sama what are you.."

Ainosuke grabs him by the lapel.

"Do you hate me that much?"

Tadashi is surprised. He doesn't understand what Ainosuke was talking about.

"You understand right? But why do you keep on pretending you don't?"

Ainosuke's hand is trembling, his pale face painted with pain.

"Just tell me you hate me. It's better for both of us if you hate me."

"Ainosuke-sama. I can never hate you."

"Then why do you.. towards that guy…"

Tadashi has no idea what comes into him, but before he realizes it, he is already pulling Ainosuke into a kiss. He almost forgot how Ainosuke's mouth tasts and the earlier kiss they shared was the last straw to finally loosen him at the seams. He pulls Ainosuke's hair and shoves his tongue inside Ainosuke's mouth. The sudden violence from Tadashi catches Ainosuke by surprise. Even with his superior height and build, Tadashi still manages to throw Ainosuke on the bed and pin him down. Ainosuke winces as he lands, now covered in Tadashis's scent.

"Take is just a friend. We only meet to soothe each other's needs."

Undistracted, Ainosuke grabs Tadashi by the lapel and glares at him.

"You really are scum, you know. You always play with other people's hearts without any care. Do you think I believe you?"

This time Tadashi is the one who glares at Ainosuke. He's been holding himself back. But now, it has come to this. Why doesn't Ainosuke understand what he's trying to do? He just wants to protect him. Nothing good will come to Ainosuke if he is with him.

Tadashi clenches his teeth. An honest answer that he's never allowed before comes out unexpectedly.

"But aren't you doing the exact same thing to me? You go out of your way to show me how little I mean to you. What I do with other people is none of your business."

Ainosuke can't say anything back. He just looks at him, pained.

"What's with that look?"

Why does it feel like he's the antagonist in this? Now, Tadashi really wants to hurt him. He rips Ainosuke top and trails a finger on Ainosuke's chest.

"Let me tell you a little secret. That guy likes to be punished and fucked from behind. You're not into that aren't you? You prefer being the dominant one.

"He likes it when I'm greedy and forceful." Tadashi looks down and notices Ainosuke's bulging crotch.

Ainosuke will not allow himself to be embarrassed like this. He struggles but Tadashi is stronger than him. He is overpowered but he manages to land a punch on Tadashi's face. Tadashi's lip is cut. He is a bit surprised by the punch but then his surprised face softens into a smile.

"The face you make when you're angry really turns me on."

Tadashi wrings Ainosuke's wrist and crushes it. As Ainosuke howls in pain, Tadashi begins to restrain his defeated hands.

"Tadashi, what the hell are you doing?"

"Ainosuke-sama...I've always wanted to make a mess out of you.." Tadashi glances at Ainosuke hard on and shivers. Unable to resist, he leans in to whisper.

"You're an even bigger pervert than Take aren't you?"

Wet slobbering sounds overwhelmed Ainosuke senses as Tadashi licks his ears. The pain when the older man nibbles on it sends waves of unsolicited pleasure to his body. He feels his drive to get away weaken. A sense of being exposed overwhelms him and makes him feel embarrassed but he finds himself wanting more. To his frustration, Tadashi withdraws. The older man cradles his head on his palms in despair.

"I'm sorry." Tadashi sighs defeated and frees Ainosuke from the restraints. He makes his way to the door, but a tug on his sleeve makes him pause. He turns around only to find Ainosuke violently smashing their mouths together. Petulant, the younger man wrapped his long legs around him to stop him from leaving.

"Then why don't you just mess me up?"

It came out of Ainosuke's lips unexpectedly. He doesn't know what to do, he just knows that he doesn't want Tadashi to leave.

Ainoske wasn't innocent to the pleasure of the flesh. He's had lovers, both men and women, but this is the first time he's had this kind of sex. Tadashi is right. He always prefers to be in the dominant position. However, this was only a role that was imposed on him. This was something he was expected to take on. Now that he is on the receiving end, he feels scared. He is scared of discovering his own vulnerability and delicateness. And yet, it gives him a rush he hasn't felt before. There is a certain thrill in getting to know something you're not used to. Ainosuke currently basks in this strange feeling, albeit too overwhelmed because of the mix of fear and pleasure pooling in his gut.

When Tadashi pushes him down, he feels weirdly pleasant and also utterly humiliated. The control that he usually has is nowhere near his finger tips. It is in the hands of someone who is supposed to be under his control. Ainosuke swallows a lump in his throat and closes his eyes shut. He feels hot as if he was being set on fire. Feeling Tadashi's touch on him made it hard to hide how turned on he was.

I've always wanted to make a mess out of you.

He came as he remembered those words coming out of the very mouth that was wrecking his tongue. He feels so sticky and gross as he comes all over himself. He opens his eyes and sees Tadashi's face up close. It's unfair how gorgeous he is.

Tadashi gropes him. The rustle of the clothes make him feel even more powerless as it accompanied the throbbing sensation on his wrists. He feels Tadashi's weight on him. It is oppressive but exhilarating at the same time.

"Tell me if it's too much. I'll stop."

Kind words were not something Ainosuke often hears from people he is close to. Even when he's having sex, there was no kindness only desperate hands and empty promises. It only makes him feel like he is forced to play a role. In contrast, this time, he feels like an active participant. He feels like he truly wants it, and that he was allowed to be himself.

Tadashi takes a bite at his neck. It makes his body feel numb at the pleasure it gave him. The anticipation he feels from Tadashi's wet lips makes him moan. Ainosuke gets even harder as Tadashi plays with his nipples.

"You like that?" Tadashi whispers teasingly, a little bit mean.

"Don't hold back. It's fine. You can enjoy as much as you want."

Tadashi grabs his jaw and shoves his tongue down Ainosuke's throat. The feeling of being completely dominated makes Ainosuke feel ashamed. He confronts it, and as he melts into the kiss, he feels a certain freedom.

It was infuriating that he feels wanted. It's weird that he feels loved in the violence of Tadashi's bites and rough touch. Tadashi clumsily lifts Ainosuke's hips and presses the other's long legs together. He inserts his cock in between and moves against him rapidly. Their cocks rubbing against each makes Ainosuke struggle to hold back his voice.

"Ahh!" Ainosuke moans.

"You're doing great." Tadashi says affectionately as he kisses the other's leg.

The pleasure he feels doesn't let up so he inevitably moans again. Ashamed, Ainosuke hides his aroused face. Tadashi is the last person he wants to see it. He doesn't want him to realize how much he still affects him.

Tadashi doesn't play to his tune. It was as though he was finally freed from his restraints. He plants another kiss and thrusts even faster to let Ainosuke know running away is not an option; they were already in this state. Tadashi has already seen all of him. He flips Ainosuke over and kisses his back. The wetness of the kisses leaves burned hickeys all over where they were peppered. Tadashi takes a bite on the nape of Ainosuke's neck as he wraps Ainosuke in his arms.

"You're so beautiful," Tadashi says onto Ainosuke's skin.

"I want to be inside of you. May I?"

The ragged breathing in his ears gives Ainosuke gooseflesh. He curves his body in a fetal position to relax himself. Tadashi takes the lube in his drawer. A spurting sound fills the air as he pours it in his hand. He rubs it between his hands and slips a finger inside Ainosuke. As soon as he felt the coldness of the lube, Ainosuke squirms.

"Tadashi wait!" The feeling of having something inside of him was strange.

"Relax." Tadashi spreads his ass and inserts another finger. Ainosuke moans and drools all over Tadashi's sheets completely debauched. He didn't expect that such a strange sensation could get him to rub his nipples against the bed sheets. He whimpers.

"Tadashi.. I feel weird..."

"It's okay, you'll be alright."

Tadashi inserts another finger and spreads Ainosuke's hole wider. He inserts them deeper and deeper until he hears a yelp from Ainosuke.

"Did I hit a good spot?"

"Wait… I don't know.."

"Relax. Ainosuke-sama is so amazing."

Ainosuke shivers at the praise and burrows his head deeper on the sheets. His smug face now completely melting in pleasure. Tadashi continues to thrust his finger in and out. It begins slowly at first and then becomes faster.

"You're so sexy." Tadashi grinds against Ainosuke's back as he continues to finger him.

"I want to be inside you soon."

The hardness of Tadashi's dick against his back makes Ainosuke feel as if at any moment he was going to run out of oxygen. Tadashi's desire ignited his hands, his belly, his legs, his whole face. He never thought being wanted like this could feel so good. Ainosuke bites his lip. He is no longer able to withstand the teasing. The friction from Tadashi's finger was not enough.

"Put it in… It doesn't even matter if it hurts. Just fuck me."

Acquiescing, Tadashi takes a bite on Ainosuke's shoulder. He slams the younger man's head against the sheets as the desire to penetrate ignites within him. Ainosuke's backside exposes his lewd hole. It looks ready for Tadashi's dick. Ainosuke waits with heavy breathing for what is to come. He finally hears the ripping sound of a condom and shivers. He wants it more than he likes to admit.

A slap on his behind made his senses tingle. His heart beat faster as another slap came. He could feel himself get harder. Ainosuke moans and trembles at the new sensation he was feeling.

"Tadashi.. what are you…"

"It's fine isn't it? You like it to hurt after all."

"No I don't…. it feels weird.."

Another slap.

"Be honest."

And then another slap and another and another. The slaps felt irresistibly good. Tadashi gave him more, enough to make his ass red.

"Enough…!" Ainosuke finally moans.

"Good job enduring that." Tadashi kisses the side of his face. He caresses Ainosuke and jerks himself off to prepare himself for penetration.

"You have potential."

Tadashi inserts his dick slowly. Ainosuke whimpers at the strange sensation of something warm and large entering him. The sensation this time is different from earlier. Being stretched by a warm thick thing made his legs slowly go weak. Ainosuke gasps as he feels his whole body burn in pleasure. He heaves as Tadashi thrust in and out slowly. Tadashi didn't enter deeply since it was Ainosuke's first time being on the receiving end.

"Tadashi…. uhhh…"

"Breathe. It's alright, just relax."

"... feels good….

"It feels so good…"

Tadashi plows even deeper and starts to thrust deeper and faster.

"Wait…. I'm going to..uhhh."

The deep thrusts hit Ainosuke's spot. He felt so full taking in Tadashi dick.

"... feels good … uhhh.. I'm going insane.. Tada… aaaah!" Ainosuke comes for the third time. He wants to rest but Tadashi was insatiable so much that Ainosuke passes out in the middle of sex. With an unconscious Ainosuke, Tadashi pulls out and finishes by himself. He cleans Ainosuke up, fixes the bed, then slips into the space beside him.

Morning arrived fast. Tadashi opens his eyes and unexpectedly gazes upon Ainosuke's sleeping face. He thinks it's a dream at first but when he realizes it is not, he can't help but feel something catch up in his throat. He stares, engraving the image in his head. The image of the younger man sleeping beside him innocently made him feel soft. It reminded him of his pureness. Tadashi can't help but feel awful as guilt fills him for stealing Ainosuke's genuine smile.

And then it comes-- it finally dawns on him that he fucked up big time. The extent of what he's done, what he threw away was right here in this room where he made love to Ainosuke for the first time. It was enough. This one was enough to maybe last him a lifetime. He will treasure it forever.

It's better if you don't get too close to the young master.

Tadashi stands up. When he takes a glance at the way Ainosuke's chest rises and falls, everything seems worth it.

He checks his phone and sees Take's message.

"Well, congratulations?"

"He might fire me." He replies. He waits for a reply but Take doesn't send one.

Feeling sticky from the previous night's sex, Tadashi takes a bath. After that, he goes to the garden to tend to the roses. He doesn't finish so he talks to the gardener about it.

"Kikuchi-san, why do you like tending to the roses? You're busy as it is."

"It calms me when I tend to them. And they are precious to me."

The gardener saw Tadashi take nine roses again. He smiles at that and pats Tadashi on the shoulder.

"I hope all your wishes come true."

—-

This time around, morning was different. Ainosuke wakes up feeling refreshed for the first time in years. He turns in bed and realizes there is no one beside him. Disappointed, he stares at the ceiling and notices that he was in a different room. He was going to think everything was a dream but this was definitely Tadashi's room.

"Good morning. How's your body?" He turns to where the voice comes from and sees Tadashi already dressed in his usual attire. Ainosuke looks away, cheeks flustered slightly. He didn't know what to say to him. That happening between them was hard enough to believe. Tadashi hands him a cup of tea. He sits up and drinks it quietly. While silence reigned, Tadashi checked his notes. He informs his master that he has nothing scheduled for the day. Silence again. Tadashi fiddles with his fingers as he waits for Ainosuke to speak.

So what do they do now? They finally stepped over a line that they shouldn't cross. Tadashi readied himself to get fired. He doesn't want to leave Ainosuke's side so he is ready to pretend nothing happened.

Ainosuke is at a loss himself. He feels embarrassed thinking about him being on the receiving end. Feeling awkward, he tries to stand. He is late to realize that there is no power left in his legs. Tadashi rushes to his side to help him.

"I'll accompany you to your room."

Tadashi lifts Ainosuke up in a bridal carry.

"Do you also want me to help you bathe?"

Ainosuke is surprised. He wants to decline but it's not as if he can, given his predicament, so he lets Tadashi.

Gentle hands caress him. there is nothing of the violence in the sex that they had the previous night. Ainosuke wonders whether it was actually a dream. He stares at Tadashi as he wonders. Tadashi doesn't look at him. He concentrates on washing Ainosuke's body instead. There is nothing sexual to the touch but it still sent shivers down Ainosuke's spine. Tadashi probably wants this to end already. Sexual encounters must be something his assistant engages in considering his reaction. It disappoints him and makes him mad, but he doesn't do anything. He soaks in the bath alone as Tadashi leaves.

There is always a first time when it comes to engaging in sex, whatever the role is. Ainosuke cannot believe that he is researching about how to be on the receiving end in a gay relationship like a total noob. Curious about gay sex, he reads articles about the preparation that it requires and he finds himself reading various male x male erotica. It's preposterous that he, THE Shindo Ainosuke is doing this. He feels embarrassed at himself. He is being too conscious while Tadashi acted like nothing happened. It makes him feel insecure. What he wants is a confrontation about what happened between them but he can't do it. He can't even speak to him nor look at him properly. Even the maids have noticed how awkward he is towards him.

"Hmmm~ Ainosuke-sama acts cute these days. Don't you think so?"

"He does. I wish Kikuchi-san could at least change expressions."

"Yes… that pretty face is always scowling. It's charming but I always want to see him smile."

"I get it! I totally get it. The other day, I dried his hair for him when he went home soaking wet from the rain so I saw his face up close. He is a certified hottie."

"His face softens when he's with Ainosuke-sama in a good mood. It's cute."

The maids' voices fade as they disappear deeper into the hallway. Ainosuke stands against the wall and clenches his fists. His interaction with the maids were limited so he didn't know what they thought of him nor what they thought of Tadashi. That conversation made him realize that indeed he is wrong after all. Tadashi may be getting along well with the other servants more than he expected. It surprises him too that they notice the difference in how he interacts with Tadashi. Girls are quite scary.

Tadashi adjusts the front view mirror and slumps on the driver's seat as he waits for Ainosuke to finish his appointments. When he closes his eyes, his thoughts can't help but drift towards what happened that night. It is a good thing that Ainosuke avoided talking about the topic altogether. Honestly speaking, the past few days he felt nervous whenever they were alone. He was prepared to get fired and was hesitating whether or not he should resign. He didn't want to. He wants to continue to stay by Ainosuke's side. Everyday, the guilt kills him though.

Finally, he sees Ainosuke walking towards the car. He opens the door for him.

"Where to?" It is the usual exchange.

"Home."

Tadashi nods. During the drive, Ainosuke's thoughts wander. After that night, nothing happened between the two of them. Tadashi didn't try anything. Maybe he isn't planning on trying again. In the first place, it was Ainosuke who provoked him. Clicking his tongue in frustration, Ainosuke had enough of this awkwardness and cowardice that hangs between them. He asks Tadashi to turn at a corner where he knows they will be alone and orders him to stop the car. Tadashi is confused. They weren't at the house yet. When Tadashi opened the car door for Ainosuke he was surprised by the sudden pull. By the time he realizes it, he is already smashing lips with his master.

They both fall on the passenger's seat. Ainosuke's back hurt. It hurt but he didn't care. All he cared about is touching Tadashi and entwining his body with his. He has to touch him to reassure himself that he was not the only one who wanted to do it again. He was getting uneasy.

When the other man pushes up against him and responds by sloshing their mouths together it was clear that he was not close to the idea of doing it again. Tadashi grinds his crotch against Ainosuke's lower half as he licks the crevices of Ainosuke's mouth.

His desire was comforting.

The intensity from Tadashi's tongue and grinding made Ainosuke shiver. He closes his eyes shut and melts into the kiss. The friction between their clothed bodies feels good. Tadashi's desire at least was easy to understand. He may never take the initiative but when push comes to shove he'll end up giving in. Ainosuke wonders if this was enough proof Tadashi wanted him too or was he also like this with the others he is seeing? Is he like this with that Take guy? Ainosuke couldn't help but feel hurt at the thought. The thought that another man was special to Tadashi pains him. It's like that time when Tadashi chose his father over him. To fend off these thoughts, Ainosuke clings to Tadashi and moans against his mouth.

Ragged breathing fills the air as the two of them withdraw from each other. Tadashi covers his flustered face. Ainosuke is pleased at what he is seeing. He narrows his eyes and pulls Tadashi by the lapel and whispers seductively, "Little doggie, why don't you play with me?" At those words he felt Tadashi harden.

Clumsy is not something that you can describe Tadashi. Right now, in the face of his desire, he can't be described as anything but that. As Tadashi grabs Ainosuke by the hair and shoves his head on the passenger seat, he clumsily pours the cold lube over his hand. Eager to be pleasured, Ainosuke heaves and waits. He's been holding himself back since they last did it. Now, He was hungry for it.

Tadashi spreads him nicely with his fingers. The thrusts force the taller man to bite his lip to stifle a moan. His restrained arms put pressure on his shoulders, and allow little movement. Being subjugated sent Ainosuke to cloud nine. Dick stiff and full of precum, with thoughts of how narrow the passenger seat was, Ainosuke lets out a moan.

"You've been playing with yourself? You're so dangerously loose. How lewd."

Ainosuke clenches his toes and breathes heavily as Tadashi continues to prepare him.

"Stop it, just put it in already!"

"Not yet."

Ainosuke gasps, his whole body at the mercy of Tadashi's fingers. Moans and heaves fill the air. Without warning, Tadashi shoves his cock deeply inside, resulting in a yelp from Ainosuke. Drool dripping from the corner of his mouth, Ainosuke feels as if he is melting. Tadashi turns him over and smashes their lips together. With an intoxicated expression, Ainosuke opens his mouth and offers his tongue to be sucked. Tadashi licks it, sucks on it, and intertwines it with his tongue. Ainosuke clings to Tadashi as if his life depends on him.

"Tadashi," he gasps in between thrusts and pauses from fighting mouths.

"It feels good." Ainosuke manages to sigh.

Tadashi grows bigger inside of him. He steals a glance and notices Tadashi's blush. Ainosuke blushes too. At the sight, he tightens around Tadashi, forcing the other to moan. Tadashi's face which was always unreadable is now scrunched up in pleasure. Ainosuke hugs him tightly. Feeling wanted, he plants kisses on Tadashi's neck. He nibbles softly on Tadashi's soft skin. He gets it now. He gets how Take felt when he left that bruise on Tadashi's shoulder. Seeing that face makes you want to mark him too.

The thrusts get more desperate. Ainosuke moves his hips to Tadashi's rhythm. Tadashi kisses and bites him in the neck. He licks his ears and whispers, "You're so cute, so adorable, so sexy."

Ainosuke cums at that.

"I heard Ainosuke has been visiting Tadashi's room lately. One of the maids was talking about it."

"Is that so? Surely he's not foolish to do that right? He knows his role as the son of the Shindo family."

"Well, that child has always been quite attached to Tadashi. If we didn't force Aiichiro to take action, who knows what would happen?"

"No need to worry. Tadashi is not stupid."

One of the Aunts asked a maid to call Tadashi.

"You called for me Ma'am?"

"Tadashi, I know you have been serving this family for quite a long time. You've done well."

"Thank you Ma'am."

"We would like you to continue supporting Ainosuke. You know that our Ainosuke has to marry a suitable woman from a good family right?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"I hope you keep that in mind. You may go."

Tadashi bows and leaves. When he goes out of the room, he is surprised to see Ainosuke waiting for him.

"What did they tell you?"

"Nothing."

Ainosuke stares at him and then sighs. Tadashi will never tell him his worries. He thinks he is not close enough to be relied on. Ainosuke ruffles Tadashi's hair and kisses his cheek.

"Let's go."

Tadashi wipes the sweat off of his brow. He waters and trims the rose bushes.

"As beautiful as ever. You really do a good job with them. It reminds me of your father."

"Thanks. I've always been interested in gardening even before so maybe that's the reason."

"But you can do a lot of things right? Your father boasts about it all the time."

"Not really."

"Tadashi, sometimes you don't need to hold back. It's better to be true to yourself after all.

"There is talk that you've been having a hard time lately. It isn't because of the young master is it? He's changed quite a bit lately. I daresay for the better."

The gardener pats Tadashi on the arm.

"Whatever it is that's happening with the young master, it seems to be good. And if it is because of your guidance, then that's even better." Tadashi feels consoled by those words. He smiles at the gardener.

"I just want him to be happy."

"We all do."

The bed creaks as Tadashi stands up. Ainosuke wakes up and grabs him by the arm.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere."

Teasingly, Ainosuke pulls Tadashi and pins him down on the bed.

"Liar." Ainosuke grins looking at the older man through thirsty eyes. Tadashi giggles and rubs Ainosuke's cheeks.

"I was going to go to the garden to see the roses."

Ainosuke leans to kiss Tadashi on the forehead. He peppers kisses on the other's neck. Aroused, he couldn't resist kissing Tadashi's nipple and putting it inside his mouth. He nibbles and sucks on it. This is his new found interest-- trying to find Tadashi's pleasure spots.

"That tickles!" Tadashi whines.

Ainosuke clings to him and pretends to sleep. Tadashi chuckles.

"Do you want to tend to the roses with me?"

It is Ainosuke's first time tending to the roses. Patiently, Tadashi guides him.

"Aren't they beautiful? It isn't that hard to take care of them but it takes a little getting used to. They prick, so be careful."

The scent of the roses tingled Ainosuke's nose. Petals scattered in the wind and framed Tadashi's figure who was showing him how to trim the rose bushes. Ainosuke can't resist, he takes a step and kisses Tadashi's cheek. Tadashi is surprised. He still isn't used to this side of Ainosuke, but he doesn't mind. He let's him, even though he knows he shouldn't.

"You know Ainosuke-sama, you are a lot like these roses."

Tadashi stands on his tiptoes and kisses Ainosuke on the mouth. When he withdrew, Tadashi was surprised to see the look on Ainosuke's face.

"What's wrong?"

Ainosuke pulls him in and hugs him tighter. No words were exchanged. They just stood like that for a second.

Everything was supposed to be going well. However, his aunts were becoming even more persistent with their marriage talks. Ainosuke glances at Tadashi to look at his face only to get disappointed to see Tadashi's usual laconic expression. They don't speak about their sexual relations, they just do it. Tadashi plays the caring boyfriend when the situation calls for it but as expected, he will never confuse his role as a mere assistant to that of a boyfriend.

Ainosuke agrees to meet the girl his Aunts introduced him to. This is to spite Tadashi. Sometimes, he hates how much he looks like he doesn't care. He hates the fact that he is never honest with his feelings. Even though he can see it in the way he looks at him and in the way he makes love to him.

The woman he meets is a pretty, classy lady. She has long brown hair which flows down her square shoulders. Her eyes are wide. It makes her look kind and innocent. Ainosuke thinks the woman is wasted on someone like him. They talk about a lot of things. But all the while, he thinks about Tadashi. He specifically chooses to sit where he could get a good view of him. Tadashi accompanies him to dinners like this so he is outside waiting for him to finish.

Yellow lights illuminate Tadashi's figure. He was standing near the streetlight, his back facing the shop. A tall guy approaches Tadashi. The stranger talks and even put his arms around Tadashi's shoulder. It almost makes Ainosuke run outside but he couldn't just abruptly end his date with the woman. He has to keep an image. When the date ends, he rushes to the car where he finds the two still talking.

"Isn't it going well for you then?" The stranger giggles.

"And yet it's so cruel. You're right here while he's having a date with someone else. Mah, you and I can always do this and that."

The stranger leans in.

"Tadashi!"

Tadashi and the stranger turned and saw a breathless Ainosuke clutching his hands into a fist. Unaffected, the stranger greets him. Tadashi is forced to formally introduce the stranger.

"This is Sato Take, the shop owner's son and my friend. I've told you about him before." He turns to Take and introduced Ainosuke.

"Take, this is my boss, Shindo Ainosuke."

"Nice to meet you Shindo-san. Oh, look at the time, I have to go." Take leans in for a whisper.

"He's definitely into you." Take waves and says that he's going to call him soon.

Ainosuke glares the entire time. Tadashi sees his clenched hand and softly holds it in his. He looks at him with a gentle stare. Obediently, Ainosuke gets in the car. On the way home, Ainosuke is quiet. He is thinking about the woman he just met and about Tadashi and Take. He steals a glance at Tadashi and decides on something. When they walk to the mansion, Ainosuke takes a detour and drags Tadashi to the rose garden.

There are a lot of questions in Ainosuke's mind, one of those is about Take and his relationship with Tadashi. With just a kiss he forgets it all. He takes off his suit and unbuckles Tadashi's pants. He climbs on top of him.

"Ainosuke-sama wait! I don't have any.."

A kiss takes Tadashi's words away.

"You don't have to. This time, I'll be the one to make you feel good."

As Ainosuke lowers his pants, he grabs Tadashi limp dick in his hand and starts massaging it. He bobs his hand up and down to harden it. Noticing that it was already responding, he leans down to plant a kiss on Tadashi's slightly hard cock and takes it inside his mouth. Tadashi moans as the warmth encircling his cock drives his resolve to resist Ainosuke away.

"Wait! Ainosuke-sama…."

Tadashi grabs Ainosuke's hair to stop him from going at it further.

"Don't…"

Not minding the protest from Tadashi, Ainosuke's cheeks turn hollow as he continues to suck. As he bobs his mouth up and down Tadashi's rock hard length, he also prepares himself. Fingering his eager hole as he plants a kiss on Tadashi's cock made his hair stand on ends. He moans against the organ and licks its underside. Ainosuke takes the organ out of his mouth and positions his backside on top of it.

"The condom…"

"No need."

Ainosuke lowers himself slowly. He feels his muscles stretch. The feeling of being pierced right through was making him feel alive. He remembers his Aunt's nags and the flirting of the women he's forced to meet with. As he moves on top of Tadashi, he couldn't help but greedily rub Tadashi's cock against his insides. Tadashi rouses himself and sloshes their mouths against each other. Tadashi moves his hips against Ainosuke and bites him hard on the neck. The stillness of the night was about to be disturbed by Ainosuke's howl of pain but Tadashi covered his mouth with his hand.

"Quiet… or they'll hear us."

Ainosuke closes his eyes shut and grinds even harder.

Tadashi pushes Ainosuke down to change their positions, his dick still inside and his hand still covering the other's mouth. Tadashi thrusts harder and faster, making Ainosuke's body spasm in pleasure. Ainosuke throws his head back and moans against the hand that covered it. He cums all over his chest. Tadashi's face was red, biting his lips to stop himself from moaning as he continued to thrust. He was going to take out his dick to cum but Ainosuke's clips his legs around him.

Tadashi struggles to get away but Ainosuke's legs were quite strong that he ended up cumming inside of him. Tadashi takes his hand away. Without hesitation, Ainosuke rises and clings to him. The embrace was the final nail to the coffin. It was frustrating but Tadashi realizes what he truly wants.

"You…"

Tadashi buries his head on Ainosuke's shoulder and returns the embrace.

When they arrived at the mansion, the maids were surprised that Tadashi was carrying Ainosuke bridal style. Ainosuke is asleep and was wrapped in Tadashi's suit.

"What happened to the young master?"

"He's a little bit tired."

Sitting on Ainosuke's bed, Tadashi wonders if he should leave or stay. Ainosuke has been adamant at wanting to sleep with him, that's why he always sneaks into his room. Tadashi plants a kiss on his forehead and decides to leave. The sound of footsteps wake Ainosuke up.

"Tadashi?"

Tadashi returns to his side.

"I'll have to return to my room. So get some rest. I might have overdid it today."

"We're not sleeping in your room?"

"We're not. Get some sleep."

Obediently, Ainosuke kisses his cheek and returns to sleep. Tadashi smiles lovingly as Ainosuke squirmed underneath the sheets.

Finally, Ainosuke manages to summon the courage to ask Tadashi about Take. The curiosity was already too much for him to handle.

"We've been friends since junior high so we know each other in and out."

"Do you like him?"

"Yes I do." Ainosuke is taken aback at the smile when Tadashi responded. He regrets asking.

"But that guy's a huge pervert so sometimes it's hard to keep up with him. He's a good guy though, albeit a little weird."

"Would you date him then?" Tadashi is dumbfounded at the question.

"Take doesn't see me as a romantic interest. He's the free type. It's unlikely that he wants to settle. That's just what I think."

"Tadashi…"

"Mmm?"

Ainosuke wants to ask if he would consider dating him if he asked. But the words can't leave his tongue. Instead he turns around and buried his body in the sheets.

"How about me? Would you date me?" He mumbles despite himself.

Tadashi hears it but he doesn't reply. He only brushes a tuft of Ainosuke locks and leaves the bed. As his weight fades. Ainosuke closes his eyes shut.

Ainosuke woke up earlier than usual. He came to the garden to look at the roses. The gardener is there when he arrives.

"Good morning Shindo-sama. Tadashi isn't with you?"

"He caught a cold."

"Oh it's a pity. Then, here you go. I'll give these roses to you."

Ainosuke is confused.

"You know Shindo-sama. The number of roses mean something when it's given to someone the giver holds special in their heart.

"If you give three roses to your special someone, it means I love you. If you give them 9 roses it symbolizes eternal love. It's usually given to the person you want to spend your life with."

Ainosuke is confused but he takes the flowers with him. He returns to his room and sees the roses on his vase. He counts them and is left speechless.

"Where's Tadashi?"

"He caught a cold."

"Then ask another to drive you. We asked the daughter of one of your father's acquaintances, the Sudas, to meet up with you. She's a nice girl. She would help your political career."

Ainosuke smiles.

"I'm sorry but I don't intend to date anyone with the intention of marriage."

"Ainsouke, didn't we talk about this already? To continue the legacy of the Shindo.."

"I'm sorry Aunts, I know you just want this for my sake, but I already made up my mind. I won't attend those marriage meetings you set up anymore. I don't plan on marrying anyone."

The aunts became aghast and got very angry. They tried changing Ainosuke's mind but he wouldn't budge. Ainosuke didn't want to hear any more of their sermons so he walked out. His decision caused a stir in the household.

Ainosuke knocks on Tadashi's door clutching the nine roses in his hand.

The door opens and he sees a slouched Tadashi wrapped up in his blanket.

"I brought you food. How's your body?"

"I'm fine."

While Tadashi eats, Ainosuke confesses.

"I'm going to leave this house."

Tadashi was surprised.

"I refused to attend the marriage meetings anymore. My Aunts won't stop until I give in, but I don't want to."

"But how come? Wasn't that your plan?"

"No it wasn't. Tadashi, would you like to come move with me?"

"Of course! Ainosuke-sama, I'll stay by your side always."

Ainosuke kisses Tadashi on the cheek.

"These roses are for you." He gives him the nine roses the gardener handed to him. Tadashi flusters up to his ears.

Moving out was not a problem since Ainosuke has many apartments. The place he chose was big enough for him and Tadashi. The issue with the Shindo Family was kept under wraps thanks to the connections Ainosuke had.

Looking at his new living room, Ainosuke couldn't help but think about the fact that somehow he managed to free himself from his aunts. It relieves him and saddens him at the same time. He is not entirely sure it was the right choice, but when he sees Tadashi wearing an apron cooking for him, he realizes the weight of his actions.

Noticing his sullen expression, Tadashi sits next to him.

"What's wrong?"

"I just realized. I'm truly alone."

"You're not alone. Ainosuke-sama I'm here aren't I? I'll always be by your side."

Ainosuke looks at the vase with the nine roses and closes his eyes as Tadashi wraps his arms around him. At that moment, he couldn't stop the tears from coming. Tadashi wipes his tears away and kisses him gently.

"I'm here for you always."

With those words, Ainosuke feels he is wanted. Tadashi peppers kisses on the side of his face and kisses him on the forehead. His soft touch melts Ainosuke. Tadashi carries him to their bedroom. The warmth of Tadashi's touch made him give in.

A warm feeling envelops his whole body. Ainosuke opens his eyes and realizes that Tadashi was asleep beside him. He finds himself buried against Tadashi's chest. The other's arm was splayed across his body. When he looks up, he feels a certain pang in his heart. This is the first time he woke up to Tadashi sleeping beside him. He sits up and brushes away the locks of hair that covered Tadashi's face. He stares fondly at the other's beauty mark and plants a kiss on the other's forehead.

He's not alone.

A lot of things had changed. Tadashi thinks as he opens the curtains. He glances at Ainosuke's sleeping figure on the bed and smiles. As he walks towards the bed, he couldn't help but look around and bask in the panels of light that filtered through the room. He sits and gazes down at Ainosuke's sleeping figure. It's hard to resist not to fiddle with a tuft of the others messy hair. Tadashi finds himself humming softly.

Things have been going well for Ainosuke. Ever since he moved out, a lot of good things have happened. He became more and more popular as a politician. Thanks to his efforts, more opportunities were knocking on his door. He also decided to attend counseling to address his issues. Tadashi attends one too. He figured he should also do it for Ainosuke's sake. He knows he also has his own issues to address and acknowledges that in order for the two of them to keep being by each other's side, they need to address those issues. Because of these efforts, living together was enjoyable. Surprisingly, the two of them get along extremely well. Sometimes they argue. It is normal. But those arguments and conflict was something that can be easily resolved.

Tadashi smiles.

"I am happy for you Ainosuke-sama. I wish you happiness the most."

Ainosuke opens his eyes. As Tadashi was about to leave, he pulled him in for a hug.

"If you really want me to be happy, then why don't you become mine?" Ainosuke kisses Tadashi gently on the cheek. Groggy from sleep, he confesses what he's been thinking of for a while already.

"I love you." Ainosuke whispers. "Won't you stay with me forever?" Ainosuke takes something from his pillow and slips it into Tadashi's engagement finger. It was a ring.

At the sight of the ring, Tadashi scrunches his face as tears start to stream from his eyes. He rolls away from the younger man to hide his face. Ainosuke is surprised.

"Hey! Did I do something wrong?

"Tadashi…"

Tadashi peaks at him and throws his arms around Ainosuke.

"I love you too. I have loved you since forever."

Ainosuke couldn't help but tear up too.

"Idiot, do you think it isn't the same for me?"

Tadashi withdraws and kisses him on the lips.

Many things happened in Ainosuke's life. He made bad decisions and had a lot of regrets but choosing to stay by Tadashi's side is not something he regrets.