As the people from the gallery began to disperse and go back to their regular programming, Addison and Derek headed towards the scrub room. "Thank you for letting me do this surgery with you," Addison said as soon as they're settled.
"I knew you would say yes to this in a heartbeat." She rolled her eyes at him as he bumped his shoulder to hers. It has been a long time since the both of them did a procedure together and it was evident that they were not the only ones who'd missed this, but also everyone in Seattle who used to anticipate every surgery of the Shepherd-Shepherd tandem. "But, please, Derek, call me at a decent hour, not when I've just put my son to bed."
They came out of the room and walked down the hallway laughing and sharing stories until they reached the attendings' lounge. "Hey, Addie," he called before he went inside the bathroom.
"Hm?" She replied without looking at him, seemingly busy straightening the dress she wore earlier that morning.
"When you're done showering, drop by my office. There's something I want to give you." He smiled and closed the door before she even got to ask what was it about.
Addison went straight to his office and saw him looking at the scenic view from his window. "Penny for a thought, Doctor Shepherd?" Derek sat on his office couch and motioned her to do the same.
"You're really leaving tonight, huh?"
"I am. We have a meeting with our wedding coordinator tomorrow. I can't get it rescheduled, sorry." She smiled apologetically.
"It's okay, Doctor Montgomery, or shall I say, Doctor Reilly?" Addison and Jake's wedding is only a week away, but Derek had already bought his gift for the bride-to-be a month ago.
"I've been wanting to give you this." He opened one of the drawers beside him and pulled out a velvet bracelet box - one that looked like from the same jewelry shop where he got her engagement ring customized.
"Derek, you don't have to." She said as tears were beginning to form in her eyes. Derek laid the box on her lap and waited for her to open it. Before her vision became too blurry for her to see what's inside, Addison pulled up its lid and saw a personalized gold charm bracelet. Taking a closer look at it, it seemed to be decorated with charms that signify her profession, burning passion for wine and shoes, and - wait, was that a soccer ball and heart with an engraved word on it?
Soccer ball.
Her favorite four-lettered name someone has ever called her.
"Derek… this is so…" There's no way she could finish what she wanted to say, so she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. He did the same and subtly let a tear or two roll off on his cheek. "I could not think of a better wedding gift than this. It is not every day that someone becomes the recipient of the unconditional and lifetime "Addison Montgomery Yes." It even trumps the Academy and Harper Avery Award, really."
She laughed in between tears while listening to the little speech of the first person she ever said yes to. "Jake is very lucky to be the third and the last to receive that."
"How about the first-ever recipient?" Addison jokingly asked and shifted in her seat to face him. "He feels very honored to have you in his life, at least that's what I've heard."
"And the second one?"
"You already know the answer to that, Mama."
The smiles are evident on their faces as they fell into a comforting silence, reminiscing the second time she gave all that she is and promised herself to someone.
1995
Upon reading her husband's message, she drove quickly to Carolyn's house. Derek wanted her to meet him there, emphasizing that there's something important that he wanted to tell her.
Amelia was the one who welcomed her and ushered her into the Shepherds' living room. There she saw him, sitting beside Carolyn and with an expression she couldn't read. "Mom." She approached her mother-in-law and pecked her on the cheek. Before she could even move closer to Derek, a little boy, who seemed to be done playing with his robot behind Carolyn and Derek suddenly came out of his hiding and sat properly in between the two.
"Uhm, hi there, little mister. It seems like we haven't met before. I thought you were Brennan earlier. Sorry about that." Addison slightly bent her knees to get into his level and offered her hand.
The little boy accepted it for a handshake and took a quick glance at Derek as if looking for reassurance. "Hi," he replied shyly.
"Hi. I am Addison and you are?
"I am Adrian Shepherd."
"Shepherd?"
"And you must be Dad's wife, right, Dad?"
Addison was taken aback and was trying to process the eight-worded sentence that couldn't seem to be comprehensible at the moment. "I guess Adrian and I will go to the kitchen first and take out the cookies from the oven." Carolyn broke the ice and excused themselves so the two would have the chance and the privacy to talk.
"Derek Christopher Shepherd, would you mind explaining everything that I needed to know before I pass out?"
"Addison, I am so, so, sorry. I didn't know how to tell you. We just celebrated our first wedding anniversary and I am afraid that…'' He trailed off and just looked helplessly to Addie's confused eyes.
"Derek, just tell me about it… about him." She sat down next to him and just stared blankly at the carpet.
"He's nine years old. I met Adrian's mother at a party. It was sort of a celebration after our college graduation and I met her there… then one thing led to another. I never saw her again after that night. I didn't have any idea that she got pregnant until her cousin came to my office two days ago and introduced Adrian to me."
Addison cut him off, "You found out about him two days ago and you didn't even bother to tell me?"
"I am really sorry, babe. I know this is too much for you and how this whole situation will change everything. We just celebrated our first anniversary and… and I-I'd understand if you want to, you know, back out. I would really unders-"
Addison put her hands on his and gave them a squeeze, "Derek, hey. Don't get too worked up. Just… tell me more about him. Where's his mom?"
With that simple gesture, it was evident that relief flooded through him. He continued while still holding on to her hands. "Matt, her cousin, told me she just left after Adrian turned one. They haven't heard from her for years until someone told them that she got into an accident last year that cost her life."
"Matt is now moving to another country where he got a scholarship for his postgraduate studies and he can't take care of Adrian anymore the way he did before. Addison, we're just in our third year of residency and I would really accept it if you decide to…"
"Derek, I am not angry at you or at Adrian. I am confused. I am afraid. It will take time for me to process all these and be someone that you and Adrian need me to be, but, Derek?"
"Yeah?" He looked into her eyes.
"We're Addison-and-Derek. We'll figure it out, just like we always have."
"Just like we always have."
1996
It has been almost a year since Adrian moved in with them. Derek's been trying to get to know more about his son and create a bond with him. Looking at the way they relate to each other at the moment compared to the way they did before, she could say that the father & son have come so far. Meanwhile, Addison's still tip-toe-ing around him and finding ways to make him feel comfortable whenever they're in the same room. She observed that whenever Derek would be paged, leaving them alone together, Adrian would suddenly become this little "man of few words" which was somewhat unlikely whenever Derek's around. And she gets that. She's read about these things in the articles that Savvy and Naomi have been forwarding to her.
Today, it's her day off and she promised Adrian that she would also pick him up at school in the afternoon - only to receive a shrug from him. And again, she understands that. She waited until he entered the school gate before she took off.
Later that afternoon, as she was just about to get down from her car, she saw Adrian running toward her parking location with someone who seemed to be his friend.
"Hey, kids! How was your day?" She greeted the children cheerfully.
"Hi. Troy, this is Addison, my, uh, my dad's wife."
"Hello, Mrs. Shepherd. It's nice to meet you."
"Addison, can we go over there? We're just going to meet our classmate there. I'll be back shortly."
"Sure, Adrian. I'll just be here. Don't go too far-" With that, Adrian and Troy ran away without even letting her finish. So, she waited.
And waited.
And waited some more.
And waited.
And almost fainted when she saw no trace of him at the playground.
It's been over ten minutes since Adrian asked for her permission to meet his classmate at the playground and he hasn't come back yet. She started panicking, so she decided to ask the guard if he noticed Adrian and his friends.
"What does your kid look like?" Your kid. She took a moment to realize the magnitude of someone being your kid.
"Blue eyes, black hair that's kind of curly. He wears a spiderman baller and his vest uniform is usually unbuttoned during dismissal."
"Ah, that kid. He rode the school bus with his friend ten minutes ago."
Her heart stopped beating for a moment, feeling like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. If anything happens to Adrian, I won't be able to forgive myself. Oh, god. Derek. Oh, god.
She asked the guard again for the details of the bus route, hoping he's at least heading back to the Brownstone, just didn't want to be with her, but he didn't. The bus route was out of the way and clearly, he's going somewhere.
Remembering all the information Derek has shared with her about his son, she connected the dots and guessed where he was heading. And she was right.
There she found him on the doorsteps of his old abandoned house, feeding the pigeon that was keeping him company.
"Hey, kid." She said softly while approaching him. Adrian suddenly stopped from what he was doing as he was surprised to see her there.
"How did you know I was here?" He said while looking down at the pigeon.
"The guard knows you and said that you used to ride that bus before. He also said you're a very kind little man."
"I'm sorry, Addison. I didn't want to worry you. I just-" She cut in, reassuring him that there was nothing that he needed to explain because again…
"I know. I understand, but Adrian, sweetie, don't do this again. I was close to reaching for my nasal inhaler when the guard said you hopped on the bus."
"Sorry. It's just… this is my home."
And it hurt, even if she would not admit it. After almost a year of trying to make the Brownstone a home for someone who came unexpectedly to their lives, it's just not enough… yet.
So she'll wait.
And wait.
And wait some more.
1997
It's Christmas Eve and the little Shepherds are now gathered in the living room. It is now Carorlyn's turn to give the knitted presents she rushed to make last week due to her little pre-holiday trip with her churchmates.
Every Shepherd kid seems to be pleased with the figures and characters stitched to their sweaters.
"This one is for Brennan."
"For my sweet girl Andy," Addie is standing behind Carolyn for she gave up her seat for the very pregnant Kathleen. From her viewpoint, she noticed that there's only one sweater left when there are still two children waiting for theirs.
"And last not the least, this one is for Taylor!" Carolyn excitedly put the sweater on her youngest granddaughter before she could even notice everyone's glaring eyes.
Instinctively, Addison quickly yet subtly ripped off the paper bag that contained matching knitted Christmas sweaters that Addison and Derek bought for the three of them. She passed it to Carolyn who looked like her soul just left her body.
"And of course, this one's for our dearest Adrian! I forgot to get it from your parents when they attached the little patch here," she reasoned out. The worry from every grown-up Shepherd's face waned when he thanked Carolyn and returned her hug.
After the gift-giving, when the rest of the Shepherds have gone upstairs, Addison found Adrian sitting by the coffee table, having a hot cocoa that Derek prepared for him. "You good there, little man?"
He nods without taking his eyes off his festive hot beverage. She sat across from him and simply slid two wrapped gift boxes on the table in his direction. There was a spark in his eyes when he took a shy glance at the presents. "I knew it," Addie stated playfully.
"What is it?" Adrian asked, now with a slight smile on his face. He opened the first present and his smile grew bigger as he saw a box of the all-new 1997 Nintendo Gameboy.
"That you're a Christmas fanatic just as I am."
"It takes one to know one." He shrugged and gave Addison a grateful glance after he fully unwrapped the Gameboy box.
"See, I also knew that you're not a man of few words. You love it?"
"Yeah. Thanks, Addie." It was the first time he called her by her nickname and for her, it's too much for her heart. "And for the sweater, too. It's from you, right?"
"How did you know?"
"I am now eleven years old, not six."
"Got that, big man. Now, open that little box," pointing to the other gift she got for him. Adrian quickly tore it open and cracked a grin after catching a glimpse of what seemed to be a brand new blue beeper. "A beeper!"
"Now, you don't have to play with your dad's pager." They both had a laugh and comforting silence after when he began reading the manuals of his new gadgets. The moment was broken off when Derek called them up from the staircase, informing them the bed's now ready. Adrian took off and ran to the stairs shortly. Before he could even join Derek, he looked back to her direction and called her, "Merry Christmas, Addie."
"What's more Christmas-y than that?" Addie thought to herself.
1998
As soon as Derek excused himself to buy snacks for the two of them, a blonde woman occupied the newly vacated space on the bleachers. "Addison! Long time no see!"
"Oh, god. Trish, it's so good to see you again! What are you doing here?"
"Game day today. My son's playing. He's wearing jersey number 8. Your kid is playing', too?"
"Yeah, Adrian. Number 5." Trish narrowed her eyes and tried to look closely at the boys on the soccer field. "The one with the black curls and blue eyes?" She nodded with pride.
"I suppose he's more of your husband's mini-me, but at least you named him after you. Still a win-win," her friend said jokingly.
Adrian.
Adrianne.
She would be lying if she said she never thought of it this way, but it always felt different whenever she'd hear it from other people.
1999
This year, Nancy organized a two-day Shepherds' Halloween Party. As soon as the three of them got the invitation, Adrian led the brainstorming on what they were going to wear for the party. Derek and Addie finally gave in to Adrian's idea of being the "Villain Bunch," even though they preferred the Simpsons concept.
Nancy picked up Adrian from the Brownstone a day earlier for the spooky movie night and sleepover at her residence where the rest of the little Shepherds were already gathered. A day later, everyone's already in their own costumes and Adrian, who's wearing a costume inspired by Sid Philips from Toy Story, was excitedly waiting for Addison and Derek's arrival. When the doorbell rang, he immediately got up and opened it. There he saw his dad dressed up as Jafar and Addie as the Evil Queen from Snow White.
"Hey, Sid." Derek greeted his son in a low and deep tone, channeling his inner Jafar.
"Wow! You guys look really, really, bad!"
"Honey, we poured all our efforts just to find these costumes and -"
Adrian shook his head, "No, I mean bad in a good, good, good way!" He motioned them to go quickly inside as he ran to the living room. "Guys, look at my parents!"
The grown-ups looked at the two, not because they were eager to see their costumes but to see their reaction to Adrian's proud declaration.
There's no way she could give justice to the character of Evil Queen if her heart is as soft as it is right now, she thought.
2000
Addison and Adrian quietly sneaked into his classroom while the head coach of his soccer team was already starting his presentation in front of the players and their moms. Derek cooked a breakfast feast earlier that morning and the two could not resist the smell of freshly cooked eggs, bacon, and pancakes.
When the presentation of Coach John ended, he asked the boys to introduce their mothers one by one. Addison looked at Adrian and she could see the panic on his face. She took his hand and squeezed it affectionately, "Hey, Adrian, it's okay. Don't worry."
He nodded and fixed his gaze on the floor. After a few minutes of contemplation and trying to overcome his shyness, he finally faced Addie and asked the question he has been wanting to ask for a long time now, "Addie, can I call you Mama?" He nervously smiled, waiting for Addie's response.
"Yes, Adrian. Yes. Yes. Yes." Straight away, she pulled him into an embrace and showered him with kisses on his head.
When it's already their turn, Adrian introduced her to his whole team as his "mama" and she could say that the last time she's felt this way was when her attending introduced her to a patient as Dr. Montgomery years ago.
After Adrian and his team went straight to their training, Addison let out her tears in the car and excitedly texted Derek.
"He just asked me. I said yes!"
"You're aware that you're already married, right?"
"I mean Adrian. He asked me if he can call me Mama and I said yes!"
"Wow! So happy for both of you! Love you, mama. Let's go out for dinner later."
The Shepherds just got home after they went Christmas shopping for their extended family. After washing up and getting on their PJs, the three met in the living room to wrap all the gifts. Addison and Derek shared the task of measuring, cutting, and taping the wrapper all over the presents while Adrian volunteered to write on the gift cards.
When there was nothing more to wrap, Adrian already went to his room - leaving his parents downstairs. "Hey, babe. Look at this." Derek called her and pulled her closer to him while holding up one of the gifts. "Read the card."
To: Grandma Carolyn
Merry Christmas! We love you, Grandma!
From: Addison&Derek&Adrian
2001
This year, Addison's celebrating her second official Mother's Day, well not really legally official, but still. There's a sixteen-year-old boy who calls her Mama, a husband who changed her name on his contacts from Wife to Mama, a mother-in-law who shares stories about her churchmates who have stepchildren, and sisters-in-law who keep on sending books and links of articles on how to be a mom of a teenager boy - with one entitled "What to Do If Your Teenager is Arrested for Reckless Driving?"
It's all good, then it became better when Adrian came to her and handed her an envelope. "Guess what came in the mail, Ma." It's what they've been waiting for for months. Addison could not stop her tears anymore and shared a very special moment with the two people she holds dearest to her heart - very special that they didn't even notice the steak burning. "Oh, I don't know how I got so lucky. I promise every day to earn the right to be your mother."
It's now official.
It's all good.
2002
After presenting their studies, Addison and Derek flopped down onto their hotel bed and reached for the telephone. "Babe, it's already our third time calling Archer. Our son's fine and safe and not drinking wine. That's what's important, right?"
"Last one, I promise." She dialed Archer's number and waited for him to pick up.
"Oh, god. You, two, I'm going to have your number blocked!" Archer answered in an exasperated tone. Addison put him on the loudspeaker, as instructed by Derek. "Right now, I can't say he's fine because he's not here."
"What? Archer!" The husband and wife suddenly bolted upright. "Your kid's not here. He's with Bizzy. He agreed to accompany her to the DAR charity event."
"No way."
"And tomorrow he's going to go golfing with the Captain."
"Oh, god. No way. You're just kidding us, right?"
"Believe it or not, Addie, your kid's more of a Forbes-Montgomery than we both are."
2003
"I'm looking for Dr. Addison Adrianne Shepherd. She asked me to pick her up at seven o'clock sharp. Do you happen to be friends with her?" Adrian hopped out of his car and planted a kiss on his mom's cheek.
"Oh, stop it." She went inside the car and waited for her son to get in. "I received your text just when I was about to hit the road. Dad's not going home again?"
"Hm." She hummed in response as she fixed her eyes on the window, hoping to see her husband. "I guess you can admit it already that you're super thankful that I know how to drive now."
She made a face at her son, "You wish."
2004
"Dad, Ma, we're about to head now to our orientation. I promise I'm going to be just fine here." Even though he insisted that he didn't need them to come when he moved into his college dorm, the two very sentimental parents cleared their schedule and accompanied him to Yale.
"Always call, okay?" Addie pulled his son into another tight embrace again, but this time, longer. "Or you can still use the pager I got you when you were eleven. I slid it into your bag. It's there."
"Copy that, Ma'am." He kissed his mom's forehead and pulled back from the hug, knowing that his mom's too emotional to let go of him anytime soon.
"Okay, now, I'm going to the parking lot because I can't hold my tears anymore. I love you, baby. Yale's the best. Best four years of your life. Professors are great. The facilities? Top-notch! Now, I'm rambling. Bye." Addison wore her huge sunglasses that almost covered half of her face and walked away from the father and son.
"Have fun, son." He hugged his son briefly and looked at him meaningfully.
"I will, Dad." Derek was about to turn his back when he heard his son call him one last time, "Dad."
"Yes?"
"Take care of Mama."
2005
It's been a year since the Brownstone had become an empty nest - no husband to cook some steak and pasta and a teenager who needed to be called four times from his room before he came down for dinner.
In the past few months, Addie felt like nothing's going on with her life anymore. Loneliness has overtaken her, but tonight she's got this feeling that something is going to happen.
And something did.
It just happened.
She didn't know why and how, but it just happened.
"No, Derek! I'm holding my ground! We don't quit! We're Addison&Derek&Adrian! We don't quit!"
He looked at her with disgust, "Don't involve my son in this!"
2006
After explaining to her son what happened that fateful night, she had never heard from him again, and just like what she always used to say before, she gets it. She understands. Addison wonders if Derek gets to talk to him these days.
When she's alone in the trailer, she writes random daily emails, just like they did before, but now she gets no response. Things change. Maybe Derek's right, but she's still going to send it anyway.
From: addisonmshepherd
Subject: Ma's Random Ramblings
Hey, Adrian!
How are you, son? I haven't heard from you for like months now. Christmas season is already approaching and I wish you were here with us. Your dad and I are trying to work it out. Also, I heard from Bizzy (Yes, I talk to Bizzy now because she's the only one who could give me an update on you) that you two had dinner last night with Emily and her granddaughter who's also from Yale. Please, don't fall for your grandmother's matchmaking schemes. It's a disaster!
Go for the one you love. Always.
Love you, Adrian.
Forever and ever,
Mama
2007
She lost everything to this divorce. Her husband. Her son. Her life. Everything and everyone who matters to her the most. For almost two years without hearing anything from her son, she was fairly certain that she's lost him forever, too. Last year, she already made a plan that if everything worked out between her and Derek, maybe Adrian would forgive her and ask them to fly to Connecticut for his college graduation - which if she remembers it right, is now only a month away.
She totally lost her hope when she overheard Derek and Richard's conversation at the nurses' station. "Really? Adrian's already graduating? Congratulations! You must be so proud."
Later that night, when her shift's already ended, she knocked on his office door. "Hey. I dropped by just to give this. It's for -" She was taken aback when she saw who's sitting on one of Derek's visitor chairs. "Adrian."
"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt." Feeling uncertain of her role in the lives of the two men who were once the center of her world, she stepped back.
"Mama."
"Hey. You're all grown-up now, huh? How are you?" They're both frozen in their places, tip-toeing around each other. "All good."
"You're graduating. That's why I came here to your dad's office, so he could give this to you." She stepped closer to her son and hesitantly took a seat on the chair facing him. "But now you're here. I want you to have this." He took off of the lid of the box and caught a glimpse of an all-new 3M Littman Master Cardiology Stethoscope.
"Heard you're thinking about going to medical school, hence the reason for the gift." The atmosphere in the room was becoming too heavy for her and she's finding it hard to breathe. She needs to go outside or else's going to break down. She stood up and carefully tapped his shoulder, "I'm so proud of you, Adrian. Congratulations on your graduation. And, oh. Pictures. Send me pictures. That would be enough and -"
She didn't get to finish her ramblings when her son hugged her and started crying on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Mama. It's been so hard without you."
2013 - Present
"Knock, knock. I came to pick up two very emotional parents named Addison Montgomery and Derek Shepherd. Happen to know them?"
"Busy. Come back again later after we're done talking about those pictures." Derek pointed out the pictures of three of them together from his graduation at Yale and Columbia Med-School - said frames have been sitting on his desk for years now and they never fail to brighten up his day.
"Noted on that, Sir. I'll get the car now. Make sure you're all set up in five minutes or else, the lady and I will be missing our flight," he said teasingly and winked at them before closing the office door.
"Addison, I am sorry."
"For what?"
"When you first came here in Seattle, I treated you like a stranger. I made you feel that you have no place in our son's life anymore. I kept on finding reasons to hurt you and loathe you, but you know that I failed at that because I realized that I can never ever hate the woman who did nothing but to make Adrian feel he belongs to a home, to somebody, to a family - and I thank you for that."
"Derek…" He took her hands and enveloped them with his. "I can never hate you, Addie, because a part of me and Adrian's will always be yours."
"Always as in for every day until eternity?"
"For every day until eternity, yes."
The three of them had dinner together at Derek and Addison's favorite ramen restaurant at the airport and mostly spent their time talking about Adrian's third year of residency, his girlfriend, and Addison's upcoming wedding. "Hey, Adrian, make sure that your Mama won't stumble on her wedding day."
"Don't worry, Dad. I'll be the one walking her down the aisle. She'll be just fine."
"Good… or if you want to be a hundred percent sure, you could sabotage her stiletto heels."
"I think I'd consider that, Dad. What about you, Mama?"
"I think we need to start moving now." She got up, started collecting her things, and putting them back in her bag. "Oh, before I forget, Ma, Dad. I bought a birthday gift for Grandma last night. Maybe one of you could sign it for us?
"Oh, that's so thoughtful of you, love. Your dad can do it." Derek got the gift card and signed on it. "Is this okay?" Derek held up the card to Addison who's busy finding her ticket. When she read it, she realized maybe when Derek said, "Things change," before, outside the elevator, it was not completely true because, after everything, it's still the three of them together against the world, against all odds - Addison&Derek&Adrian.
A/N: Thank you very much for reading! Again, I apologize for the grammatical errors. I got the concept of the story from Charlotte & Cooper's storyline on Private Practice and I just can't help but imagine what it would be like for Addison to have her own version of Mason. Long live the Addek Revolution! Anyway, thank you again. Pagmamahal at pasasalamat x