Speed Dating, a waterloo road fanfic

Right... hello, hello, hello.

I know I sound like a bloody broken record but I had no idea where this idea was going to lead me. I think I pitched the idea with it being chaotic and there being Jealous!Eddie. I don't think that I've disappointed with that...

This is the last Wednesday Work until the New Year. I know that the middle of October seems like a strange time to be thinking about the New Year but I don't have anything written and after FLF, my main focus is the Christmas fic. Which I want to get as much done as I can before December as I don't really want to be finishing writing a chapter in the early hours of the morning of the day that I am then going to post it on.

So enjoy this last... thing... (and I know, a funny looking Wednesday but this week has been mad...)

Speed Dating

When pressed by Melissa about Ben and their 'date', Rachel had cracked and told her who Ben really was and what the meeting had been about. It was one of the things that she would come to regret that night. As well as giving into Eddie and saying that she would help him help Melissa with the speed dating.

She was definitely going to regret it when Melissa started to get everyone seated and ready. Somehow, Rachel wasn't really that surprised to see Steph there, especially when she felt like Steph was the reason that this was happening. Grantly, however, was a surprise and Rachel could tell that even Eddie was surprised when she looked up at him.

It was a moment like that one that made her forget everything. It made her forget that she had pushed him away. It made her forget that he was dating her sister. It made her forget that their relationship couldn't progress in a way that she now wanted it to progress in.

Just a look from Eddie and she knew that he knew what she was thinking.

But she wouldn't want him to know most of her thoughts. From the ones that pushed her self-confidence down to those about her and him in her office, his lips all over her body.

How many times had she convinced herself that giving herself to Eddie wouldn't be the worst thing in the world? How many times had she convinced herself that he would be a very giving lover? How many times had she fantasized about him and all the things that she wanted him to do to her? How many times had she wanted him to stop being a gentleman and to just kiss her, his hands running up and down her body as hers made sure that they were as close as they could be to each other? How many times had she just wanted to straddle his lap, silencing any argument that he had, both personally and professionally?

Rachel found herself quickly turning away, wondering how she had allowed her thoughts to run away from herself. It felt like her cheeks were burning, probably showing Eddie that she was embarrassed by something. And she was. As this was no longer her thinking about a man that she could possibly date. This was her thinking about her sister's boyfriend in the most inappropriate way possible.

Which was why she was sort of glad that Melissa returned to be with them.

Sort of being the right way to describe it.

"We're short," Melissa said, grabbing onto Rachel's arm.

"So?"

"Oh, come on, Rachel."

Rachel was sure her eyes went wide at the idea. "No. No. No." She said, shaking her head.

"Me and Eddie can't be the only ones having all the fun. I need to get you loved up as well now."

Rachel was more than sure that Eddie was giving her a strange look and she wished that she had kept the misunderstanding regarding Ben going. If it would have stopped her from being dragged to the empty chair, Rachel would have said or done anything.

But she didn't and she found herself opposite a man that she felt was the complete opposite of the man that her heart longed for. She tried to ignore the look that Steph was giving her a couple of seats down and Rachel already knew that she was in for the longest evening ever.

Melissa got the first round going before she turned to her boyfriend and his questioning gaze.

"What's wrong?" Melissa asked.

"I thought Rachel was with Ben," Eddie said, still looking at Rachel.

"Oh no. That was just a misunderstanding on my part."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he is her plastic surgeon."

Eddie blinked a number of times before he turned to her. The confusion that he had was one that Melissa was sure that she had when she had pressed Rachel about her date. Mainly because Melissa was sure that Rachel didn't want any more treatment because she wanted to go back to work.

"Plastic surgeon? Why does she need a plastic surgeon?" Eddie asked.

"She hasn't told you, has she?"

"Told me what?"

"The burn on her chest. The one here." Melissa said, placing her hand over her right breast. "Rachel… She isn't usually self-conscious about anything. She can walk into any room and immediately control it, even though she doesn't like the attention. But this… I don't know what has changed but she hates it and thinks that everyone else will. She was offered more skin grafts at the time but she wanted to get back to work. And now she won't tell me why she has changed her mind."

Melissa had an inclining that the change was due to a man. Not that she could get that out of Rachel. She felt like she had gotten more than she expected out of her when she confessed that Ben wasn't her date. She definitely couldn't work her sister out. Which was no different to how they had been as kids. There were decisions that Rachel had made that Melissa still couldn't understand even now.

"No. No. No. She... told me." Eddie said. "I just thought the same as you."

"You would tell me, wouldn't you?"

"Tell you what?" He said, sounding a little worried.

"If she did have her eye on someone. I think her change of heart might be over a guy but there is no way I will get that out of her. Although… You two are good friends. Maybe you could."

Melissa felt like it was something worth ignoring when Eddie turned from her, huffing. She knew where his vision would have landed and Melissa just hoped that it was Eddie being a good friend. Something that she knew that Rachel needed.

Melissa turned back to the stopwatch and hit the gong, knowing that no one would work out that they had gone a little over the time. Doing it once wouldn't hurt, would it?

Eddie felt bad for inviting Rachel to help out with the speed dating. Well, maybe that was at first until she actually looked like she was enjoying herself. He wondered whether she was just throwing herself into it, thinking that it might help Melissa get off her back. He could see the method behind her madness then.

But as he watched her laughing with this other guy, he could feel his jaw clench harder and harder.

She was the one to push him away. She was the one to reject him. She was the one to say that there was no them.

She didn't want him.

So did he have any right to feel as jealous as he did?

Probably not and he could tell that Melissa wanted to question his change in mood. Maybe it was the moment that he realised that he didn't really want Melissa. That he was, maybe, just using her to see if Rachel did feel something for him.

So as the gong sounded out, he couldn't stop himself from walking over to Rachel's table, wishing that he did get there before the next guy sat in the chair opposite Rachel.

"Hop it," Eddie said, gesturing to the guy to get out of the chair.

"Eddie." Rachel hissed.

The man seemed to take what Eddie said, maybe because of the look on his face, and got out of the chair, heading to the table where the snacks were. Eddie didn't care who was looking at him, even Melissa. He just had to know.

"What do you think you are doing?" Rachel said.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Well, I am trying to make the best out of this."

"Yeah, Melissa told me. About Ben."

"It isn't my fault that she just assumed."

"So when were you going to put me right?"

"Why would I need to put you right?"

Eddie huffed before he leant forward. "Was that the only thing holding you back then? Is that why you showed me it? What? Did you think that I would be disgusted by it?" He said as quietly as he could so that the conversation remained private in the public setting.

"Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters, Rachel. You've changed. Now I get that you might have done that to try and keep yourself from getting hurt again. And I get that you didn't know what you were coming back to but I think that it is very brave of you to come back here. I fought for your job because you deserved it but you never had to come back if you didn't want to."

"Then maybe I shouldn't have done if you really think that way."

Eddie shook his head. "I stand by what I said before the fire. You deserve to run this school."

"So what is this all about Eddie?"

"I just don't understand why you are holding me at arm's length when I have done nothing but show you that I support you 100%. That I want to be by your side. I still don't understand how you think Melissa is your ally here."

Eddie almost took it all back when Rachel's vision dropped to the table. He had obviously pushed her too far again. He didn't want to but he found that it was the only way he was going to get some answers.

"Because I know where I stand with Melissa." Rachel said, softly. "I know she doesn't understand me or my decisions. I know that she has never forgiven me for what I have done. She's already broken my heart too many times that I can't be disappointed when she does it again because I knew it would happen. But you… I don't know where I stand with you. And I don't think I can't believe anything that you say, can I? Eddie… if you want me, if you meant what you said, then why are you with my little sister?"

The sound of the gong brought Eddie back to the room and with the next guy coming over to talk to Rachel, he knew that he couldn't get another guy to miss their turn with Rachel all because he wanted to talk to her instead. It already looked rather suspect. Although, maybe, what he did next was worse.

"At least she wants me." He said before he stood up suddenly, making quite the scene and storming out of the hall. He couldn't watch anymore. No matter how many questions it would raise.

Rachel had noticed that Eddie looked like he was getting more jealous before he had stormed over to her. And maybe she hadn't helped things by throwing herself into the event, with her now more worried about the reaction of her deputy than the man in front of her. It was the reason why she asked him the question. Because if he still wanted her, what the hell was he doing with Melissa.

As much as she knew that her sister had let her down, Rachel didn't really want to be the reason why they parted ways again. It wasn't like Melissa hadn't accused Rachel of having an affair with whoever Melissa was dating at the time, the past being harder for her to leave alone. But this was the first time that she felt like Melissa could accuse her and she could actually be right, even if it was the last thing she wanted to do.

Eddie storming out of the room had definitely not gone unnoticed and she was sure that was why Melissa made a quick exit when the speed dating wrapped up..

Rachel watched Grantly as he left with Fleur, obviously able to work through whatever had split them up, and she couldn't help but feel jealous.

How could Grantly Budgen of all people find someone to marry and spend the rest of his life with and she hadn't?

Why did he get his happily ever after and she was still trying to find hers?

How could he find his soulmate and she couldn't?

And Rachel knew that she should have left before Steph grabbed her but it seemed like she might be cleaning up as Melissa still hadn't reappeared.

"Having a domestic?" Steph said.

"With who?" Rachel said.

"Dear old Mr Lawson. Who else?"

"I don't quite think that I can have a domestic with him."

Rachel could see Steph eyeing her up and it was just another instance where Rachel wished that Steph put the same amount of enthusiasm into her lessons.

"You are in love with him, aren't you?" Steph said.

"Even if I was, I don't think I can be, can I?" Rachel said, hoping to keep the conversation as short as possible.

"Yes, you can. Tell Melissa to hop it because you saw him first and tell him."

Rachel shook her head. Because she knew that everyone enjoyed the idea of being with her but never actually enjoyed being in a relationship with her. Because, from the outside, she seemed like a hard-working woman. Once they got in, they realised that it was the only thing that she would focus on.

"So you can face coming back here, after everything that happened," Steph said. "Being disgraced and everyone talking behind your back. You had no idea what you were coming back to. But you can't tell a man that is truly dedicated to you that you love him? What is the difference? Is it because one is professional and the other is personal?"

"No. One is my head and the other is my heart." Rachel said, unsure about why she was being so honest with the staff room gossip. "Maybe my heart has been broken too many times to let a man like Eddie Lawson break it for good. Maybe this is more about protecting myself and Eddie. He would find out that being my friend and… being with me are two completely different things. At the worst, I wouldn't like to break the illusion for him."

Rachel pushed herself off the desk, thinking that she had shared enough for one night. Whatever Steph wanted to say wasn't important. The fact that Rachel knew that it was going to be another night of her crying herself to sleep over her own decision was what was important. And she wondered what the hell Eddie Lawson had done to her to make her that way over him. Maybe she needed to make a decision. Maybe she needed to decide whether she could sit there and watch Eddie make a life with Melissa. Maybe she needed to decide whether she could still be his friend and Melissa's sister. Maybe, for the first time since Rachel was 19, it was her turn to leave Melissa again rather than the other way around.

Eddie was trying to avoid both Rachel and Melissa, with that task being easier with the former than the latter. He thought that Melissa had got that message now after he told her, a little more forcibly than he would have liked, that he had a lot to get on with and he needed to be left alone to get it all done.

In reality, he was thinking over what Rachel had said to him and the recent decisions that he had made, with the question that she had asked going around and around in his head.

If you want me, if you meant what you said, then why are you with my little sister?

He knew that Rachel had a point and when he still couldn't answer the question, he felt like he knew that whatever he had going on with Melissa was only a short term thing. It was just a quick fling. It was something to cure the loneliness that he felt.

And that loneliness was a new thing. Until Rachel, he hadn't really been looking for a new relationship. He couldn't really see the point after his marriage had ended so badly. Putting it in the best way that he could, he hadn't been single for a long time that he had forgotten what it was like to be single and all that entailed. He had forgotten how much hard work it was to find the right person and all the wining and dining as well. After a messy divorce, the last thing that Eddie wanted was any more hassle.

But things were different with Rachel. They had seamlessly gone from strangers to colleagues to friends. It seemed like that was the next step for them. He enjoyed being in her company, whether that was at work or the evenings that he could drag her down the pub for a couple. And he might have made a big deal about her past but that didn't matter anymore. Mainly because he had no idea about the circumstances that put her in that position. He assumed that she must have been desperate to do what she did.

And he had felt lonely without her. Which was only amplified when Alison introduced her new man. Someone who Michael had taken to as well. It meant that Michael was asking him questions about having a girlfriend.

So maybe Rachel's rejection at the beginning of term hurt more than it should have done. Mainly because when he was in her presence, he didn't feel lonely. She only had to turn to him and every negative feeling that he had disappeared. He needed her in his life to stop him from spiralling again.

Melissa had just become a distraction. The negative feelings were still there, threatening to come to the surface, but he could push them down when he was with Melissa. The questions from Michael had stopped but that didn't mean that Eddie didn't see that he was a little disappointed. Alison had said that she'd seen a difference in him but hadn't said whether it was a good one or not.

That was the answer to the question.

He was with Melissa because he needed a distraction.

He thought that he couldn't have the one person that all the negative feelings stopped for, so he settled for someone who they paused for.

Eddie realised that he had been an idiot and as he was trying to work out how to correct his mistake, Steph happened to walk into his classroom. If anything, she was usually the last person that he would want to see but after the night before and him knowing that she saw what happened at the speed dating, Steph was on his list of people that he wanted to avoid like the plague.

"You do know you are breaking her heart," Steph said, seemingly getting straight to the point.

"I'm not doing it on purpose," Eddie said.

"Maybe. Maybe not. But how are you going to make it right?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I thought you were a better man than that."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Do I really have to spell it out for you? Now I know I've been around the block a few times but I don't think that is anything compared to what poor Rachel has been through."

"Poor Rachel? Those were two words I never thought you would put together." Eddie said, trying to either move the conversation on or get it over and done with.

"Never mind that!" She said before she huffed. "Look, here is the easiest way that I can explain this. The Christmas party last year. Not the one we have just had but your and Rachel's first one. The one where it felt like Rachel wanted to leave the moment she got there but she stayed long enough for the meal and the moment that ended, she left, with you leaving as well to make sure she got home okay."

"I know the event, Steph."

"After you two left, you were the subject of conversation. And a betting pool was started. All members of staff are involved in it."

"What were you betting on?" He said, sure that he had risen to the bait left for him.

"On when you and Rachel would get together. Not if you would. When. Obviously, we have adjusted things because of the fire but I think it still stands." Steph paused. "You and Rachel. You have chemistry. Chemistry that everyone can see. You have something worth having. A once in a lifetime connection. So why are you throwing all that away for someone like Melissa Ryan?"

Back to that question then.

Eddie still didn't have a physical answer that he could put into words for it. But he did have some sort of an answer as he stood up from his chair, leaving the French teacher in his classroom as he walked the short distance to Rachel's office, glad that Joyce wasn't in the antechamber.

And any normal person probably would have thought that Rachel was just reading through the paperwork in front of her as she was staring down at her desk but Eddie knew that she was just as distracted as he was.

He also felt like he couldn't wait for her to acknowledge him, mainly because he didn't think that she would. Meaning that he shut the door behind him and walked up to her desk.

"We need to sort this." He said.

"Sort what out?" Rachel said, sounding like she wanted the conversation over and done with as soon as possible.

"Us." He paused for a moment, glad that it made her look up at him. "Either we need to make the decision now that we are just friends and that is all we are ever going to be."

"Or?"

His heart fluttered at that. Maybe he could still change her mind. Maybe this could go the way that it was always meant to go.

"Or I stop being an idiot, let Melissa down as lightly as I can and… we wait for the dust to settle and see what the future has in store for us."

He could see her mulling it over. He wondered whether he might have done wrong by mentioning Melissa. From the little bits that he had gotten out of Melissa and from what Rachel had said to him the night before, he gathered that maybe Rachel was a little more loyal to Melissa than Melissa was to Rachel. So maybe he had put her in an impossible situation. A situation where she wouldn't go with what she wanted because someone else was involved.

And with her looking away, causing them to break eye contact, Eddie knew what was coming and he knew that he would have to fight it whilst also knowing when to give up.

"But that is the problem, isn't it? Melissa." Rachel said.

"Then forget about Melissa," Eddie said.

"I can't."

"Rachel, for god's sake, just tell me what you want."

"Why do you make it sound so simple?"

"Because it is. You deserve to have what you want."

He hadn't realised that she had stood up or was now standing in front of him. There was a part of him that wanted to cup her face and kiss her, maybe trying to show the love that he had for her rather than trying to tell her as she didn't seem to be getting it. He didn't. Mainly because he didn't know how well it would go down.

She still hadn't really given him an answer and he thought that he wasn't going to get one when she walked around him, towards the door. He spun on the spot, to try and stop her from leaving. But he was left stunned as Rachel grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him towards her, her lips landing on his. He kissed back as soon as he realised what was going on but he didn't allow himself to get lost in it until Rachel's back was against the door, with it making a sound as they sort of crashed into it, his hands landing on the door either side of her as well, to help steady them.

Then he allowed himself to think about the way she was kissing him and the way her hands had become buried in his hair. One of his hands moved from the door to start moving it down from her waist to her hips, with the other joining in when he felt like they weren't going to go anywhere.

He knew that the bubble could be burst at any moment but he would give anything for it to never end. And, maybe if he was brave enough, he would have moved them from the door to the sofa. Maybe he would have shown her that he loved all of her. Maybe he would have tried to get her feeling good about the scar on her chest.

He was quick to take a breath when they parted so that he could press kisses down her face to her neck, burying his head there to keep himself in the moment. Anything to keep him in the moment. Because he knew that things would turn sour once they were out of it.

Although he knew that it had to happen at some point, with him pulling back to get it over and done with. He needed his heart to be broken as soon as possible.

Rachel was still holding him close, the moment he pulled back, he found that her face had become buried in his neck. Maybe she felt like he did. Like they were there to anchor each other to the world.

"I want you, Eddie." She whispered. "I… I just can't let the best thing that has ever happened to me go bad. I can't have you go from wanting me to not wanting me. As I tried to imply yesterday, I don't want my heart broken by you."

Eddie couldn't help but think that he might have already done that.

Rachel knew that Eddie was avoiding her. Which suited her just fine as she didn't particularly want to see him either. She knew that she had said too much the night before and she cursed herself for her openness. She had been swallowing down all her feelings for them to reveal themselves at completely the wrong time.

She was meant to be Eddie's friend.

She was meant to be Melissa's sister.

There was no way that she could see this ending well and she knew that it would be best just to take herself out of the situation. There couldn't be any conflict if she left, could there? She was the one that could cause the conflict. And she did hate conflict in her personal life.

She knew that she would have to leave the school but she took her chances on another job. Or maybe it was her cue to quit teaching. She had been thinking about it ever since she woke up from the coma. She couldn't retire but she could easily re-train. There were plenty of jobs out there. She was sure that it wouldn't be that hard to change careers at nearly 40.

She was going to start looking to see what she could do when Eddie walked into her office and she only stayed staring at the paper in front of her because she hoped that he would either be quick about it or think that she was busy and would leave her alone.

Of course, he knew her better than she would like to admit, with him shutting the door to her office and walking up to her desk.

"We need to sort this." He said.

"Sort what out?" Rachel said.

"Us." He said, with her head automatically moving to look up at him. "Either we need to make the decision now that we are just friends and that is all we are ever going to be."

"Or?"

She knew what the other option was. The option that her heart was screaming at her to take.

"Or I stop being an idiot, let Melissa down as lightly as I can and… we wait for the dust to settle and see what the future has in store for us."

He was doing so well. Because at the mention of Melissa, her head took over, reminding her that the man in front of her had chosen her sister to start a romantic relationship with. All the things that she had wanted to do, intimately, with him, Melissa had already done. Maybe not all of them but how could she go and start something and have sex with a man that had also had sex with her sister. It was just too complicated. Even if they did stop dating. The dust would never settle. It would always be there in the back of her mind.

Melissa had him first.

Rachel only realised how deeply she was staring at him when she knew that she had to break eye contact. He was reading her thoughts again. Maybe not literally but she felt like it was what he was trying to do.

"But that is the problem, isn't it? Melissa." Rachel said.

"Then forget about Melissa," Eddie said.

"I can't." She said as she stood up. She had to stop this conversation and if she was the one that had to leave, had to walk away again, then she would.

"Rachel, for god's sake, just tell me what you want."

"Why do you make it sound so simple?"

"Because it is. You deserve to have what you want."

She wished that things were as simple as he made it out to be and she wanted to swallow all the thoughts that she was having. It was why she took a couple of steps away from him, knowing that she had to be the stronger one of them.

And she didn't know what really possessed her as she stopped and turned to him, with him turning as well. He was obviously going to try and follow her. Her infurating man that wouldn't leave things alone. All the wild thoughts that she'd had about him returned and, for once, she found herself acting on them, grabbing his shirt to pull him towards her. Maybe she thought that it would help her make the right decision. If he was a bad kisser or there was no spark there, then she knew that she could break the illusion that she had regarding a relationship with Eddie. Maybe they were only meant to be friends.

That, however, didn't happen.

What happened was that spark, something that Rachel couldn't really describe. It was like the world had stopped. It was like everything had been put on pause. Even her own thoughts. There was nothing telling her how wrong or right it was. There was nothing telling her how much her sister would hate her for it. There was nothing telling her that she was the worst person ever.

Her back hitting the door burst the bubble for a moment, with her wishing that her skirt wasn't as tight as it was, with her wanting to hook a leg around his so that there was no distance between them. All those really wild thoughts that she had played out in front of her and she had to remind herself not to hold onto Eddie's hair too tightly. Just because this was living up to every fantasy that she'd ever had, didn't mean that she needed to leave a trace that it had happened.

She wanted more from him.

That was the bottom line.

There was only one person that she wanted in the entire world and that was Eddie Lawson.

They had to part. There was only so long they could both go without taking a breath. And as Eddie buried his head into her neck, she wondered whether there were more to his relationship with Melissa. Maybe there was a reason behind him jumping head first into a relationship after only knowing the woman for a day. Maybe he did mean his words but they had more meaning behind them than she realised.

When he pulled back, she realised that he would want to talk. She, on the other hand, didn't really. She didn't want to be reminded of what the kiss they had both shared meant. Meaning that she buried her face into his neck, wondering how she could feel so safe in the position that she was in. He was her greatest ally and she should have always seen it.

And maybe that was why she said something.

"Then we need to sort this."

"I'll lose Philip. Melissa will disown me again and I'll lose the only family member that I want in my life. I've lost too much to lose him as well."

"I'll put all the blame on me. This is all my fault."

She moved her head so that her chin was resting on his shoulder, her cheek against his, just to keep her face hidden from him so he couldn't read it. "Why did you do it then?"

"I didn't want to be alone. Having Michael is great but… more recently, it has reminded me of what I lost." He paused. "And Alison has herself a new man. Tony. Who gets on great with Michael. Maybe his questions about me having a girlfriend hit differently. Maybe I decided that it was something that I wanted again after not wanting it after the divorce. Maybe you were right when you said that I was still dealing with things relating to Stephen's death."

Rachel held onto him a little tighter. And it did make a lot of sense. That was why he wanted to pick up where they left off. It was why he didn't really want to take no for an answer.

"We will sort this together, Eddie." She said. "It would be unfair for you to take all the blame for everything that has happened."

They had to unwrap themselves from each other at some point. And it seemed like they had both decided that point was the right time to do so.

"Rachel… I know I can't make any promises. But please know that I will always try to be the man that you need me to be. I know that you need that. I don't want to break your heart. I just worry that I might have done already."

"I think, at the moment, I've done more to break my own heart than you have."

She had wanted to kiss him again. Maybe just to reiterate her point. But she was more than willing to take it if Eddie wanted to be the one to start it that time. It was shorter than the last time. Mainly because they both knew that if they let it go on any longer, they were going to be caught rather than try to attempt to work things out in the best way that they could. They would just go back to avoiding each other for the rest of the day, but for a completely different reason now.

It had played on Melissa's mind. And everything seemed so obvious now. So awfully painfully obvious.

She felt like she knew the reason why Eddie wanted to refuse her offer of dinner but she was glad when he didn't. Mainly because she had a few things that she wanted to say now.

She knew that she could keep it up. The facade. But it was the one time that she felt like she actually wanted to make things up with Rachel. She had almost, permanently, lost her sister for the second time. She might not have rushed to her bedside (something that Melissa now regretted… slightly) but she had been horrified to hear how injured her sister had been. It wasn't going to make up for the fact that she wasn't there when Rachel needed it the most but she knew that she owed her sister. And she owed it to give her something that made her happy.

So she could no longer see Rachel and Eddie and their relationship as just friendship.

Because it wasn't.

Eddie must have known about the scar because Rachel showed him because she wanted to push him away.

Her starting a relationship with Eddie had pushed Rachel to call her plastic surgeon.

Eddie was the change in all this.

Melissa knew that she wouldn't have seen it before but it was clear in Eddie's language and actions on her first day. He really only helped her to help Rachel. And obviously, Ben was a reason for Rachel to show her true feelings.

It went against her whole nature not to just take something for herself. There had been many ex-friends that had called her a selfish bitch and she knew that she could continue. Eddie was a wonderful man and the sex was great and the relationship was going well. He would be a good man for her and a good father figure for Philip.

But Melissa was sent back to the first time she met Michael and the way the little boy was upset about her being there. She had heard him tell Alison that he wasn't who he was expecting (his exact words being 'It isn't her'). If the four-year-old could see it (with Melissa not knowing how many times Michael had met Rachel), then she should be able to see it.

And even though she had cooked dinner, she didn't feel like she could drag out the evening. Maybe it was only fair to Eddie and Rachel to do things as soon as possible.

"I don't think this is working, is it?" Melissa said, not long after they had sat down at the table.

"Isn't it?" He said, sounding shocked.

"I'll cut to the chase, Eddie. Because I can't deny what happened last night and you might try and brush it off but I can't. You and Rachel. You aren't friends, are you? Or that isn't what you want to be. You don't want to be her friend. How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long have you loved Rachel for?"

She could tell that he wanted to lie to her and she put that down to him just being a gentleman. It was clear that this was going against everything that he was.

"I realised… when I punched Stuart Hordley for her." He said. "Admittingly, I did want to punch his head in any way but I wasn't really prepared to do it. Just… seeing how uncomfortable he made her feel. That is the moment I realised I wanted more from Rachel. And that I wanted to defend her from the world. Stop anyone else from hurting or taking advantage of her."

"I think I've worked out why she would call her plastic surgeon."

"Really?"

"Well, it was the same day that I told her that we were dating because you wouldn't. And that is why you wouldn't tell her, isn't it? And you knew about the scar because, I assume, she tried to push you away with it. Pushed too soon, did you?"

"I think I did."

"I would usually go out with a bang. Make a big song and dance about a boyfriend breaking up with me. Usually so that they wouldn't. But maybe we can be a little more subtle with this."

"Everyone will still know. And knowing Rachel… she will still find everything awkward. You are her sister after all."

"Then let me talk to her. Look, Eddie, I don't understand most of Rachel's decisions but this is by far the worst one she has ever made. I don't quite know whether I should be annoyed at you for leading me on."

"Melissa, this wasn't something I planned. I will admit that me and you should never have happened and I definitely shouldn't have kept things going the way that I did. I just…"

"You just what?"

"I didn't think that Rachel wanted me in that way."

"Do you think she does now?"

Melissa, maybe, could have come up with an explanation for the guilt that flashed over Eddie's face. Maybe it was something to do with the situation. Maybe it was because he felt guilty about getting them both caught up in all of this.

And she knew that she accused both Rachel and previous boyfriends in the past. She just didn't expect the confession that Eddie gave her.

"Yes. She told me earlier." Eddie said before he hesitated. "Just after we kissed."

There was this part of Melissa that just wanted to let rip. To go in and make as much drama as possible. To scrap the idea of being subtle about it. To damn them both.

It was during an argument once that Rachel had told her that she was too much like their father. Melissa had strongly argued back that she wasn't. She was nothing like their father.

But Melissa knew that her recent thought was one that their father would have had and would have acted on. How many times had he dragged them out of school because they hadn't done a certain chore or just because he thought school was a waste of time? How many times had he dragged their mum away from them, saying that he needed attention as well? How many times had he made a big song and dance about the smallest inconvenience?

So she couldn't do anything rash. Which might have meant that her next comment sounded a little harsher than it should have done.

"Get out." She said.

She felt like Eddie wanted to argue with her but he did the sensible thing and left. She sat there, looking over the half-eaten food and equally wanted to cry and destroy everything in a fit of rage.

She had thought Philip had gone out but he had obviously heard everything as he awkwardly stepped into the kitchen.

He angered her as well. Too much like his father for never really knowing him. The constant reminder of another marriage that had gone wrong. Her secret. The one thing that could destroy her. Maybe it was best that she had let Eddie go.

"Y-you did the right thing," Philip said.

"Did I? Does she really deserve him any more than I do?" Melissa spat, being the thing that she wanted to say all this time.

"Auntie Rachel isn't to blame for what happened."

"She didn't have to be a whore, did she? It isn't even like I can use that card anymore, is it? Everyone knows and everyone is fine with it. Even bloody stupid Eddie bloody Lawson. Amanda. Her secret. It can't destroy her."

"I think you've known, deep down, for longer. That they liked each other. Or that Eddie could have been the person to make Rachel happy. I think it was just another thing you wanted to take away from her. And it wasn't going to work this time."

"Whose side are you on?"

Philip mumbled an answer that she didn't hear before he slipped off. From there, Melissa stood up, grabbing the neck of the bottle of wine that she had opened, taking a large swig of it. If she couldn't rage the way that she wanted to, she would just have to get drunk in a way of masking it all.

Rachel did wonder who was at the door and maybe she should have guessed that it was more likely going to be Eddie. She wasn't left wondering why he was there for long. Because he told her instantly what had happened.

"Melissa knows." He said.

She opened her front door more, letting the late-February chill into her house, to let him in. She wrapped her dressing gown a little tighter around herself, with her attire showing that she hadn't expected any visitors. She felt like Eddie was going to apologise, so she led him into the living room, asking him if he wanted a drink, which he refused. It was clear that he had just come round to tell her of the potential backlash.

"How do you mean she knows?" Rachel said.

"Everything. She started off by saying that things weren't working because of last night then she asked me how long I have loved you for. I couldn't lie to her, Rachel. After everything, she deserved to know the truth."

"Even about the kiss?"

"I said that I didn't think that you wanted me when she said about whether she should be annoyed at me for leading her on. I mean it is a fair point. She asked me if I thought you wanted me now. I thought about not telling her but… maybe it just felt like things wouldn't be so bad if we were both being honest. I figured that she would find out whatever. One of us would slip up. Probably me. She was… surprisingly calm."

"I don't know whether Melissa is capable of not taking things badly. She might have been calm to your face but I hate to think what she is doing or planning now."

"She did say about being subtle with our break-up."

"Was that before or after the kiss?"

Rachel could guess which one and even though Eddie never told her, his face confirmed what she thought. That suggestion was before and Rachel could hardly believe that Melissa would even consider doing so, let alone actually suggest herself a subtle way of ending things. Maybe her sister was a new and improved version of herself. Well that might have been until Rachel did the one thing that she never wanted to do and something that Melissa had accused her of doing before (falsely).

"I've made everything worse, haven't I?" Eddie said. "I've done it again. Been stupid and ruin everything."

"Eddie, I am sure we can work something out. We just don't know how bad the storm is going to be." She said, unsure about what he had just said.

"No, this is going to keep happening. Something good happens and then I do something to destroy it. You think that you might have a problem with relationships but so do I. I ruin every good thing that is given to me. From every relationship that I've had to… my own son."

Rachel knew that Eddie had some unresolved issues regarding Stephen's death. It was clear to her that he had never grieved properly and being pushed out of Michael's life at the same time probably made him feel like he had lost both children instead of just one. And she was sure that it was the reason for the change in him. And with everything seemingly coming together for Alison, Rachel could see why a switch might have flipped for Eddie, unlocking quite a few things that he had just shoved down and ignored because he was a man and he wasn't meant to feel a certain way.

She felt like he wanted to say more but didn't as she cupped his face with her hands. He seemed to calm down with the movement, his hands coming up to hold onto her wrists.

"Hey, hey, hey." She said. "I can't see how you ruin every relationship you've been in. For what reason? You loved them too much? Because I think that is the only thing you are guilty of. And Stephen. Eddie, you are going to realise one day that there was nothing that you could have done. And it is cruel and awful and utterly heartbreaking to know and it is never going to make things better. It is just something that you are always going to carry with you. On some days, it will make you want to be the best father you can to Michael and on others… well you might curse me for bringing Michael back into your life.

"I think there would be something wrong if you ever became okay with his death. And I think Michael makes things worse. And I think… that it all stems from you not grieving him properly." She didn't want to make her little talk about her but she hoped that Eddie realised that she was talking from experience. "I didn't at first. When Mum died. I was too busy trying to fill her role that I didn't realise that it wasn't what I was supposed to do. I didn't start grieving her until she had been dead for nearly ten years. And I get grief doesn't all happen at once but Eddie… I don't even think you've started."

She could see that it made sense to him and that he was taking on board what she was saying. And things were probably a lot harder for Eddie. With Stephen only being four months old, it wasn't like he was grieving the person that Stephen was. He was grieving all of the what ifs and all that Stephen could have been.

Rachel moved her hands, sliding them down his neck and chest to bring them up underneath his arms, so that she could hold onto his shoulders. He had the easier job of just wrapping his arms around her shoulders and he was the one to rest his cheek against hers.

For some reason, for it just being a hug, Rachel found it rather intimate. Maybe it was the first time that they had really been so open with each other. That both of them had let down their guard and they knew that they were safe to do that with each other. That they were the other's anchor to the world.

"Have I already broken your heart?" He whispered.

"I've done that myself when it comes to you."

"Sure?"

"More than sure."

"Will you just talk to me? Please? I think that might be the one thing that we need to take away from this situation."

"Definitely. Especially if we want to make it through this together."

Relief was the feeling that she had and she was certain that Eddie felt the same way. And even though she knew that they had worked through part of what they needed to, Rachel still made Eddie stay that night, offering him one of her spare bedrooms. Not everything was going to change in a night but, to Rachel, it seemed like they were heading in the right direction.

Three weeks.

That was how long it had been since the speed dating night.

And Eddie hated how on edge he was. Still waiting for the backlash of his breakup with Melissa.

He knew that Rachel was the same, waiting for the moment that Melissa would make a big deal out of it.

It was like they were both waiting for Melissa to have enough. To drop the persona that she was portraying.

And the last three weeks had been weird.

It all started the morning after the night they had broken up. It was clear to the whole of the staffroom that something was amiss. Melissa had come in hungover and Eddie looked like he hadn't slept, mainly because he hadn't. Steph had given him a knowing look that morning and Eddie had refused to meet her eye. Things didn't get better over the course of the day, with them both avoiding each other.

But that was as far as things had progressed. He didn't really speak to Melissa outside of work and if he did, he just found himself apologising to her, something that she never seemed to take well. In fact, Melissa seemed to be focusing more on the job in hand, actually making the Extended Services quite successful with all the workshops that she organised. Something that Rachel even had to admit that she didn't quite think that Melissa would be as successful as she was.

And if anything, Eddie was trying to find an explanation for her behaviour. After all, Melissa had confessed to him that she would make a scene just for a past boyfriend not to break up with her. And it wasn't like he had just broken up with her. They had broken up because he was more in love with her sister. They had split up because he could no longer hide his feelings.

He had even asked Tom if Melissa had said something when either him or Rachel wasn't in the staffroom and Tom had said that Melissa had barely said anything when she was asked if she had broken up with Eddie. That maybe should have reassured him and it did for a time. But he knew why he was feeling rather nervous as he stood outside of Melissa's house after she, yet again, wouldn't take no for an answer.

Maybe the thing that worried him more was when Rachel turned up before he had the courage to ring the doorbell. It was clear that Melissa had planned something but what wasn't clear was what that was. It made Eddie more apprehensive.

Rachel gave him a small smile and a squeeze of his hand before she rang the doorbell. Philip answered the door, letting them in before telling them that he was going out, with them, pretty much, switching places. Eddie followed Rachel, allowing her to take the lead on this. She knew Melissa best.

The awkward small talk did nothing to help settle him and he couldn't help but wonder whether this was the backlash. Whether it was going to be a rather private affair. He could tell that Rachel had no idea what was happening as well.

"Me and Philip have been talking," Melissa said, sounding so casual about it.

"About what?" Rachel said, being the one to rise to the bait.

"Do you know how hard it has been? Not to make this all public? Every time I see you two together, all I want to do is to slap the pair of you. The management meetings to the Monday morning briefings. Those have been the worst. I am there, internally screaming about you two and what you've done that I give myself a headache. And I've been so close to saying something. It isn't like I can even bad mouth you." Melissa turned to Rachel when she said the last part. "Because everyone knows about Amanda. I mean, how the hell did you survive that? Actually, why are you still, or even more, respected because of it?"

"Because everyone knows now that when she says that they can turn around their lives, they know that they are talking to someone who has done so," Eddie said. "Because it makes the rest of us look like hypocrites. Because they've worked out the reason why Rachel listens to them and actually listens to them."

"You do know she made all the problems that she tried to solve with that," Melissa said.

"How?" Rachel said.

"You should have just listened to Dad and dropped out of school and got a proper job rather than trying to make school work with a part-time job."

"I was not giving up my dreams for Dad."

"You should have done. You left behind a mess."

"You can't tell me that you didn't enjoy the money that I was bringing in at the time."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"I mean, what did you and Dad think I was doing to bring home nearly a grand a week? There was no job that I could get at 17 that would pay me that much. Wasn't the cash a giveaway that I was doing something that I probably shouldn't have been doing? And you knew exactly what Dad said to me. You knew that I had to leave. Well, I was thrown out. What did you expect me to do, Melissa? Is that it? Are you so annoyed that I actually turned around my life and became successful in the job that I wanted from the beginning?"

"You didn't deserve to be able to. Like you don't deserve him. Why should you get the good man?"

"What does this have to do with what you and Philip were talking about?" Eddie said, trying to move the conversation on.

"Well, I want to leave. Could have done three weeks ago. Philip doesn't. He says that it isn't fair on him. Although I don't think he knows what unfair is. So I've been trying to make the Extended Services a success so that you can ship someone else in and they won't be overwhelmed."

"So what's the plan then?" Rachel said. "Because there must be a plan."

"Philip wants to finish school in the same place. I told him fair enough. It is only a couple more months. Apparently, he wants to do A Levels. I can't understand why but he does." Eddie watched Melissa's face drop and it seemed like it was the only thing that she sort of cared about. "He doesn't want to come with me. Even if I promise that wherever we end up, he can finish his A Levels there. Apparently, I've made the promise before and broke it. Easter is a couple of weeks away. I'm done. I am not going to sit here and pretend to be happy for you, Rachel. You have, yet again, destroyed my life. So have him and Philip and whatever you want. Because I can assure you that you are never going to see me again."

Eddie felt like Rachel was calmer than he was. He wanted to rage at Melissa, clenching his jaw and fists just so that he stayed out of it. Rachel, on the other hand, sat up a little straighter and took a mouthful of wine. It was like she was trying to think of the appropriate response to what Melissa had said but she never got to say it as she turned to Melissa. Because Melissa wanted her to react. And the sound of the slap made Eddie feel like he had been slapped as well.

He stood up and pulled Melissa away. There was so much that he wanted to say but he couldn't. Mainly because of how calm Rachel was being about it. Because she stood up, walked over to him, placing a hand on his arm.

"She isn't worth it, Eddie." Rachel said, the tears building in her eyes just before she turned away to leave.

Eddie was quick on her heel but not quick enough to stop her from getting in her car and turning on the engine. He knew he had to follow her, feeling rather guilty that he had caused all of this. He did wonder where she was going at first, originally thinking that she was going home. That changed into how she knew his home address as he pulled up alongside her on his driveway.

He looked over and could see that she was still attempting to hold everything in. He wanted to pull her out of her car and to comfort her. Instead, he got out of his car and walked over to his front door, opening it up but not stepping in as he watched her make a phone call. Once she did step into his house, he didn't quite know what to say or do.

"Well, that was worse." She said.

"Worse than what?"

"My dad telling me that I wasn't his daughter. Despite the fact that he had been arrested before." She blinked back the tears. "He said that I had dishonoured the family name when I am sure he did that years ago. There was a reason why the rest of the family refused to talk to us." She swallowed. "Melissa was the last family member. I was just… thought that I could have a relationship with her."

"I think you've got Philip."

She nodded. "That is who I called. Just telling him that he is always welcome at mine."

Eddie walked over to her, pulling her into a hug. He couldn't help but think that he had been the cause of all this. That if he hadn't started a relationship with Melissa, then Rachel could have that relationship with her. Although, with what Melissa had said, maybe he would be the reason that they would both stop trying. With him not giving Rachel up easily.

"Like she said, Easter isn't far away," Eddie said. "We can move Philip into yours. I'll be with you. Supporting you. Nothing has to happen that you don't want to happen. We'll take it slowly. I think Philip will need us more than anything else."

"You don't have to get involved, Eddie."

"I feel that, either way, I would have caused something like this to happen. So I want to be involved. Because you are my friend, Rachel. And because I just want to."

He knew that he would do the same as what she had done three weeks ago and offer her somewhere to stay so she wasn't on her own. He was sure that there were some tough times ahead of them and he knew that he had to help Rachel through them. He knew that she would take Melissa's words hard and that would affect them mentally.

They would both be starting to recover from things that happened ages ago. But they were going to do it together.

I didn't know what was going to happen. There was a part of me that thought it wouldn't work out. That too much had already happened. That there would still be something that would stop it from happening.

Maybe that was more of a want than a thought.

I didn't want them to be happy.

Why should they get the chance to be happy?

I had hoped that Philip would call me to tell me that it had gone wrong. That was the plan. I would stay away as long as Rachel and Eddie worked. The moment it didn't, I would be there, telling Eddie of what he was missing out on and that what happened wouldn't stop a brilliant relationship between us.

But that never happened.

In fact, Philip was telling me the opposite.

Philip had told me about how they had supported him and in turn, he had made it so that they could start the relationship that they should have always had. He told me about how in love they both were. He told me about the wonderful news that Rachel was pregnant and when my niece had arrived, a chaotic birth that I felt was only right.

It was Rachel who contacted me about the wedding, telling me the date and time and where it was being held. I didn't want to believe that she actually wanted me there. I saw it as her trying to rub my face into it, showing me the life that I was meant to be living with Eddie. Philip told me that she had just done it to be nice and as a peace offering, saying that Rachel hated the way that they left things. I just told him that it was miles too late for that. She had constantly ruined my life and she was the one that got her happily ever after.

I was determined that I wasn't going to go.

Why would I want to go?

It had been six years since she last saw her son in the flesh. Again, Melissa couldn't stop seeing so much of Philip's father in him that it made her glad that he didn't want to stay with her. It would just be another reminder of her dirty little secret and the reason why she couldn't hold down a relationship.

She had expected there to be more people there. Rachel might not have the family to invite but Melissa knew that she had made a fair few friends along the way but she couldn't see any of them in the few people that had attended.

There was Philip and a girl that she didn't recognise about his age and a four-year-old girl (who she suspected was her niece). There was Alison and Tony and Michael. There were a couple of familiar faces, teachers from Waterloo Road. But the guest list wasn't massive. There couldn't have been more than 15 people there, not including her.

The biggest problem that she had was how utterly happy both Rachel and Eddie were. Melissa was yet to see a smile drop. If anything, they only got wider. Melissa was sure she was looking at genuine happiness and it made her feel sick.

Because she could never admit that it was what Rachel deserved. That Rachel or Amanda had taken a lot of stick and had been knocked down over the years. That both her and her father had treated Rachel with no respect, making her do things that she didn't want to do to fund their lifestyles. If she really thought about it, Melissa was sure that Rachel never wanted to be a prostitute. That she was right in saying that Melissa enjoyed the money. And maybe it was clear that she had to be doing something bad to get it.

Melissa had been there five minutes when she had decided that she'd seen enough. She slipped out of there as quickly and as quietly as she had entered.

She knew that none of this would have happened if it wasn't for the speed dating event that she had hosted. She knew that it would never have happened if Rachel had not confessed who Ben actually was. She knew that it would never have happened if Melissa hadn't pulled her over and made Rachel partake in the speed dating.

Melissa knew that she was the one to blame for her whole life falling apart again but she was never going to take that responsibility. Because it was the happy couple's fault. And Melissa could only wish ill of the marriage.