"Often when we realize how precious those seconds are, it's too late for them to be captured because the moment has passed. We realize too late.

CHAPTER 1

3 years ago

A couple of weeks after Christmas, everything was unspoken between the married couple. Addison was trying not to show how affected she was on her husband's confession during their once favorite holiday.

"Christmas makes you want to be with people you love. I'm not saying this to hurt you, or because I want to leave you, because I don't. Meredith wasn't a fling. She wasn't revenge. I fell in love with her. That doesn't go away because I decided to stay with you." he confessed, not bothering how shattered his wife feels.

"Hey, so I was thinking, on Friday we should go to that restaurant that I mentioned to you about last week. What do you think?" Addison said as they were walking through the entrance of the hospital. This topic made Derek immediately pinch the bridge of his nose. "Come on, I could call for reservations and all, like always. All you have to do is show up." Addison eagerly said to her husband. "I have surgery." Derek replied shortly.

"There are also other doctors who are capable of what you do, Derek. I could also ask Richard to give you a day…" He cut her off. "If I said I'll go, will you stop?" Addison was stunned but quickly composed herself. "Derek, Friday is a special event for us. You could at least try to…" Derek cuts her again. "Fine, I'll go." He said entering the elevator.

"You could at least show some enthusiasm." She rolls her eyes.

"What do you want from me Addison? I already said I'll go."

"Okay." she sighed.

"See you later." Derek kissed his wife's cheek.

"Derek I really need you to go."

Friday

"Shepherd! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be on a day off." Richard said while approaching the nurse station. "I'm supposed to be with Addison." Derek mutters. "This is giving me a deja vu." Richard said which made Derek frown. "Addie told me about thanksgiving, when you didn't show up."

"Oh, that. Richard, this is none of your business anymore." Derek sighed. "It becomes my business when you are messing with my surrogate daughter. And today is a special day for the two of you." the chief argued. "You always play favorites, that's the reason why your mind is blocking the things she has done wrong."

Richard gave his neurosurgeon a side eye and said "She is paying for all her mistakes. You on the other hand do not.."

"I was not the first one who cheated." Derek defended.

"From what I've heard, you were the one who didn't pay attention to her back in New York."

"Rich coming from you Richard."

"We are not talking about my marriage, we are talking about yours. Adele and I are way beyond help."

"Maybe my marriage is beyond help too."

Addison has been waiting patiently, two hours have passed and he's still not there. 'Why will I be surprised?' she thought. She made the reservation three days before she could ask Derek to come. She was hopeful that maybe, just maybe he is going to show up at some point. She really needed him to be there, to give him exciting news. If it will still be exciting on his part.

"Would you like some wine ma'am?" the waiter offered. They have been asking for her order or whatever she likes ever since she arrived and she is getting embarrassed. She smiled politely "No thank you, but a glass of ginger ale will do."

"You're still here?" Bailey said upon seeing Derek entering the elevator, still wearing his scrubs. "I'm still here Dr. Bailey." He nods. "Aren't you supposed to be with Addison two hours ago?"

"Yes, I know I was supposed to be with her. But there was an emergency and I have to operate."

"You stupid. For a neurosurgeon you are very stupid." She shook her head.

"Dr. Bailey…" He was about to start but he was cut. "You should give it to other surgeons. Give time to your wife. She has been preparing for this for weeks now." Bailey explains remembering how enthusiastic Addison talked about her plans a couple of days ago.

"I will be, as soon as I am done with this surgery."

"I don't know what Addison Forbes Montgomery saw in you."

"Shepherd." Derek automatically corrected.

"What?" the resident raised her right brow.

"Addison Shepherd."

"Oh, you remember her. You remember you have a wife."

"I remember I have a wife."

"Yes, a gorgeous red headed and brilliant surgeon. I don't pep talk but Shepherd let me tell you this, before it's too late be with your wife. If you want to fight for your marriage, fight for it with her, don't leave her hanging on a cliff. Show her you are in. Show her you love her. But if you do not want to mend your marriage let her go. She's already drowning and you are not even bothering going near the shore." She paused for a second.

"Maybe, maybe one day you'll realize you still love her but what if it is already too late? What if by the time you realize you want to be with her and stay in your marriage it'll be too late? And she's already gone. Don't wait for it to come to that point. If you want an out, just let her go." Bailey looked intensely at the neurosurgeon as he looked down in defeat. "I'll be with her as soon as I'm done with this surgery. It'll be quick." Derek nods but Bailey just shook her head and rolled her eyes.

After hours of waiting, Addison grew impatient. She asked the waiter for her bill.

While driving away tears are starting to build up in her eyes and all she could do is bite her lower lip to try and control it. Her eyes are getting a little foggy. She stopped at the red light then picked up her phone to call Derek, it went to voicemail. She breathed deeply.

"Derek, hey. I waited, again." she paused.

"I left the restaurant a couple of minutes ago so don't bother going there anymore. I keep on waiting for you but you never show. I don't know what else I have to do. As much as I hate to tell this, maybe our marriage won't survive and maybe we really don't have a chance anymore. Perhaps, it is really a mistake taking this another chance with you. Derek, I'm so sorry for everything, the cheating and taking you away from who truly makes you happy which is Meredith. I won't do it anymore." She paused because the light turned green. She drove once again.

"I'm going back to New York. There's nothing left for me here anymore. I have no other reason to stay here. You're free and I lo…" suddenly she heard a long and loud honk coming from her left side. The last thing she remembered is darkness.

The surgical team heard his phone ring once. The nurse said that it was Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd. He actually lost track of time and cursed under his mask. He was about to tell the nurse to answer it but it was too late, it went to voicemail. So he decided to listen to it after the surgery.

Minutes later he continued teaching the interns "Alright Dr. Grey, next is I'm clipping the aneurysm." Derek explains while clipping. The other surgical team was eyeing on the former lovers who stood closely with each other. Suddenly…

"Shepherd, put down the scalpel." Richard entered the OR with another neurosurgeon in tow. "I'm in the middle of something Richard." Derek slightly looks at the chief. "Dr. Hudson will replace you." the chief replied as the other neurosurgeon made his way to the scrub room. "It's almost done." as he continued with the clipping.

"It's an emergency." Richard quickly replied. "Send Dr. Nelson first then I'll be down there as soon as possible." Derek said not looking away from his patient's brain. "Oh, he's already there." This made Derek frown.

"Derek." There's something wrong, and Derek felt it instantly hearing his former mentor's voice wavered and using his first name which felt personal.

"We need you in the emergency room." he paused for a moment.

"She needs you."