The minute Larry walked of out the suite at Casitas Madres, a wave of loneliness washed over Alex's big, bulky body.
He was here. Alone. In hiding. To protect himself, and the baby. But most striking was that he was doing all of this under the disguise of a woman.
Alex studied himself in the vanity mirror in his room. All of the looks he got as he and Larry strolled into the front lobby were warranted: he was colossal. He held the bottom of his belly, and rotated to observe his side profile. Nope, still the size of a planet. The fact that he also had to wear a padded bra to complete the look was honestly a bit too much. He couldn't help but wonder how women dealt with every part of their body growing: stomach, breasts, even feet. He was lucky that besides the extending of his abdomen, the rest of his body was relatively untouched.
After his reflection confirmed that he was, indeed, a huge, jarring sight to behold, Alex sat down on his bed. He hadn't felt this lonely since before the Expectane experiment began. He used to relish in the quiet. He preferred long, uninterrupted stretches of solitude. Even having a conversation with someone was an absolute waste of his time.
For the past eight months, however, he was never, ever alone. Sure, Larry had turned into a confidant, his closest friend. But Alex also had Junior, who was always with him. Close, nestled inside the protective walls of his own body that continued to amaze him with its transformative powers.
He was not alone.
He needed to repeat that thought as he looked around the expanse of his suite. It was indisputably larger than his old apartment, and once again Alex shuddered at the memory of his old, isolating, selfish life. Things would never be the same, regardless of the outcome of his pregnancy, and he was grateful for that.
Alex picked up the phone on the nightstand, dialed a number he knew by heart, and rested a hand on his staggering belly, listening as the phone rang. And rang.
"You have reached the voicemail box of: Diana! Diana Reddin!" The second he heard her warm, sometimes scattered but always melodious voice flood in his ears, tears pricked his eyes.
Damn, Alex admonished himself for his emotional state, especially since he was wearing mascara now. He had prepared to receive radio static on the other end, but hearing her voice, even if it was recorded and not specifically addressing him, was still tortuous. Before he had a moment to gather his thoughts, he heard to voicemail beep.
"Diana," he cleared his throat. "It's Alex."
As he spoke, he looked down at his outfit. In the mere chance Diana would pick up, talk with him, and even visit him at Casitas Madres, she wouldn't even recognize him at all. But she sure would get a laugh out of it.
"I really need to talk to you. Please."
Before he allowed his emotions to skyrocket, Alex ended the call, and then whispered the words "I love you." He made a silent vow to call Diana every single day until she picked up.
He felt so many things for her, so much, all of the time.
If only time was on their side. And after looking at himself and his gargantuan belly, Alex wasn't sure how much longer their baby would stay inside of him.
Just then, Alex heard the doorknob twist violently, and then an abrupt, severe knocking on his door. He quickly checked the mirror to see if his wig was presentable and makeup still intact (gosh, what was he turning into?), and made his way to the door.
The small, still slightly frightened part of him worried that it was Banes, who somehow found his hideaway and planned to execute his greedy plan of turning Alex's heavily pregnant body into a profitable, sterile science experiment.
The desolate part of him secretly hoped that it was Larry, who hastily decided to return and say, "This is so stupid. I can't leave you alone like this."
But no. When Alex opened the door, the person who presented themselves was just as short as Larry, though she had a mountain of dark, curly hair piled on top of her head, and a big belly barreling out in front of her.
"Well, hello there!" she practically shrieked, extending her hand out excitedly. "I'm Elena Stephanopolous! I'm your neighbor, technically speaking I would be your hallmate, but nothing really makes sense in this twisted reality that is Casitas Madres. Relax, but only on their terms. Pias to avgo kai kourefto."
She tossed her hands up in the air at this last phrase, and he furrowed his brows, trying to recognize this foreign tongue.
"He—," Alex began, then checked his voice register. He was still getting used to acting like "Alexandra" instead of Alex. "Hello," he tried again, his voice much higher. "I'm Alexandra."
"Can we come in? Always wanted to scope out the Penthouse Suite," Elena laughed, placing a hand on top of her stomach. She was already making moves before Alex had the chance to say anything. As he watched her putz around his room, clicking her tongue and murmuring "ok" and "I see how it is" every few minutes or so, checking the tag on one of the pillows. Alex couldn't help but wonder to himself, "Who is this woman?"
As Elena peered behind one of the curtains, she snorted.
"You're gonna learn a lot about the women here, Alexandra. I can tell that you're different. What's your story?"
Again, with the prying. Alex didn't know what to make of it. Suddenly, he wished that he was, in fact, alone, not having to deal with this peculiar woman's incessant chatter.
"I'm not sure what you mean?"
"Ha, you're earnest, I like you already," she laughed. "Who you are, why you're here, who got you knocked up. How you got knocked up, if you're than open of a person."
Alex was dumbfounded. After living with Larry for all this time and getting used to his boisterous personality and crass humor, he thought that he had developed a newfound compassion for invasive people. This woman was proving to be something else. Barely two seconds passed before she launched into another monologue.
"Ok, I'll go first. My parents immigrated from Greece and moved to Oakland, which is where I grew up and still live. I'm a principal at a middle school in the city for kids who have been kicked out of traditional school."
Alex raised his eyebrow, impressed by this information. She noticed his expression and pursed her lips.
"Don't let my short height fool you; I don't take crap from anyone."
Alex nodded to show that he was listening, and recognized that she spoke Greek only minutes before. He couldn't explain it, but she carried herself like an educator. Knowing, with purpose. Protective. Nurturing.
"Anyways, I did what most Greeks do, which is marry another Greek," Elena continued, now checking the thread count on his comforter. "And then I did another thing that all Greeks do, which is have lots of babies."
"This," she turned to face him, and motioned to her stomach, "is Vasiliki. Baby number six, but my first girl. And also the reason I'm here."
Alex blinked three times at this statement. "You have five children? Soon to be six?!"
"I blame my husband," Elena said, a proud smile on her face. "I found me a Greek man with a full head of hair and somewhat groomed eyebrows. I can't keep my hands off him."
"Oh," he murmured, still completely unused to this woman's candor.
"So my husband's one of the shareholders for the Winter Olympics. With his work picking up and five rambunctious boys at home, I went into preterm labor with all of the stress. My doctor ordered me to spend four weeks here and have a scheduled C-section while my kids spend the summer with their Yia Yia. But honestly, these women make my life even more miserable."
"What do you mean?" Alex asked. Just a few minutes ago he couldn't wait to see this woman out of his room. But now, he was slightly intrigued by her story.
By now, Elena was examining the curtains, feeling their softness between her fingers.
"There's a Greek word to describe the women who go to Casitas Madres. They're alazónes. Shallow, uppity. The kind of people who lock their car doors and clutch their wallets when people who look like my students walk by them. I've been here for over a week and have yet to hold a decent conversation with these folks," Elena sighed, then turned towards Alex. "But I have a feeling you're different."
She walked up to Alex and gently placed both of her hands on his humongous belly.
"Who's this?" she asked, her voice soft.
Alex cleared his throat. At that point, he hadn't realized that he was never really treated like a pregnant person. An excited, expectant parent. Sure, Larry was hyper-cognizant of Alex's condition, and supported him in every way possible. Only recently did Angela learn about his pregnancy, and the same went for Diana.
It felt really good, for once, to talk about pregnancy without fear, without complication. Without worrying whether or not his baby would actually enter this world.
But also, this Elena woman was crazy.
"This… is Junior," Alex finally replied, looking down at his belly, which took up the space between them.
"Your first?" she asked.
Alex nodded, he couldn't help but smile with pride.
"I can tell," she said, tilting her head. "It's the way you carry yourself."
"How do you mean?" he asked, defensively. Her question quickly reminded himself that he was still wearing a disguise, that he was still pretending to be "Alexandra".
"Your body's still getting used to its new shape, is all I'm saying."
"Being this size feels… unnatural to me," he confessed, then launched into the backstory he and Larry devised on the car ride to Casitas Madres, the one that Elena initially wanted to know.
"I'm a personal trainer. I'm used to being in tip-top shape. Before that, I competed for the West Germany Olympic track and field team. As I've gotten bigger, I feel more… vulnerable. Pregnancy is all very new to me," Alex said, realizing that he'd never actually said those things out loud before.
"Yeah, no shit," she snorted. "Your insides are all being squished, emotions out of control, peeing every time you laugh."
"And the gas," Alex added quietly, blushing.
"The gas!' she exclaimed, letting out a big laugh. "See, you get it."
Alex felt himself relax. He had such bleak expectations for Casitas Madres, but something told him that this tiny lady with a massive belly would somehow make things more bearable. They exchanged smiles, a gesture that solidified the start of some sort of alliance.
"Anyways, I should get going," Elena said, smoothing out her bump. "But I also have a confession to make."
"Oh?" Alex emphasized.
"Well, you see, there's a reason I stumbled into your room. Willow, that annoying aide? The one who showed you to your room?"
Alex nodded, remembering the alarmed look the woman gave him when she laid eyes on his swollen belly.
"I'm 100% positive that she steals from my stash. So I started hiding it in your room since no one was using it. Until you got here," as she was saying this, she dragged Alex's vanity chair to his dresser, and was about to step up on it before he quickly rushed to her side.
"Stash?" he asked, incredibly perplexed.
"Yep," she grunted, and balanced herself on the chair on her tippie-toes. "My candy bar stash. With my last pregnancy, Aristedis, I had gestational diabetes, so Casitas Madres put me on a modified meal plan. Malákes. I smuggled these in and keep them on top of the dresser."
Once again, Elena stood as tall as she could (which wasn't very tall), and tried to reach the top of the dresser once more. In a swift motion, Alex stood beside her, patted the top of the dresser a few times, and felt a mid-sized cardboard box.
He brought it down to her, still puzzled, and then lent her a hand as she climbed off the chair.
"Thanks," she said, tracing her fingers alongside the plastic wrapping, oogling at it like prized jewels. "How tall are you?"
Alex shifted his weight.
"6'2"," he mumbled, looking down at the great expanse of his belly.
She whistled, then tilted her head to get a better look at him. "And how far along are you?"
Now, Alex, who usually carried himself and his burgeoning belly with pride, felt a bit embarrassed.
"35 weeks."
Again, she whistled. "Junior's gonna come early. I can feel it."
Before Alex had a chance to respond, Elena tossed three Butterfingers onto his bed, turned on her heels, and just as she was closing the door to his room called out, "I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning!"
For the second time that day, Alex heard the door close behind him, feeling the stillness penetrate the air.
But this time, he didn't feel as lonely.
And sure enough, at 8:00 a.m. the next morning, just as Alex was struggling to slip on his sneakers, he heard a short brisk knock on the door. When he opened it, Elena immediately looped her arm into his and said, "So you'll never believe what my son Demitri told me on the phone last night…"
Alex smiled. It felt good to be in the company of mothers.