Out of all the things in the world, two little pink lines were never the thing that Harley would think would scare her so much.
She'd been through a lot of shit. She been pushed out of windows, nearly died multiple times, and even dealt with Mistah J when he was really angry, and nobody wanted to see him that mad, ever. She'd seen dead bodies, outrun the police, dealt with guns, knifes and other weapons, and so many other things.
Nothing ever, ever scared her. Except for this.
A small tiny stick with two little pink lines.
It all started over a mouth ago. Joker broke her out of Arkham and they decided to have a little fun that night. Batman didn't catch them so they went back to their lair and into the sheets of the bed she and Joker shared. She remembers the way he took off her satin lingerie, the way he bit and nuzzled her neck, and the way she grabbed him, kissing him passionately.
Then came the morning, which became weeks, and nothing unusual happened. But Harley had began feeling a little queasy. She constantly felt lightheaded and nauseated, her breasts felt sourer than usual, and she felt so tired, like she was gonna pass out at any moment. One time she puked all over Joker's carseat of his new car, and he was pissed beyond belief, he had slapped her and left a bad bruise, and he never let her hear the end of it. Then she missed her cycle.
She did some research, looking online to see why she was acting so weird. Then, after looking and looking, it hit her. She could still remember how her heart almost stopped beating when she realized it.
She was pregnant.
Well, not officially, but it was blatantly obvious. The nausea, the missed period, the vomit. It all made sense, like pieces of a puzzle. Those were thee textbook pregnancy symptoms.
So tonight when Joker was out doing his usual schemes, Harley snuck out and went down to a local pharmacy store. It was closed, so Harley broke in, and stole a bunch of pregnancy tests. Thank the lord she wasn't caught, or else she would've been in another shithole.
Now here she was, after peeing into a test and waiting an hour to see the results, it was official. She was really pregnant.
Harley didn't know what to say. If color could drain anymore from her pale skin, it did.
"Fuck," she mumbled. "What's Mistah J gonna think of this? I don't think he'll be too happy," she thought to herself. "How are we even gonna raised a child? We're criminals. And if we do keep this kid, and get caught, we might get them taken away.."
Overwhelmed, Harley started crying, hot tears rolling down her cheeks. She had never been this scared before. She was a cold-blooded criminal. She couldn't be a mother.
"This can't be true," Harley said in disbelief, "I should try to take more tests, just to make sure." She grabbed another box and took out another test.
But several hours and many pregnancy tests later, most, if not all of the tests, were positive. So she truly was pregnant.
"Dammit," Harley muttered under her breath, "Fucking Dammit!" She almost yelled.
She wasn't crying anymore, but she was still very nervous. Not knowing what to do, she shoved all the tests and boxes out of the table and into the trash.
As if on point, Joker's booming voice caused her to snap back in reality. She jumped when he knocked hardly on the door. He was back.
"Harley?" He asked. "What's coming on in there? What's all that racket?"
Putting on a brave face, Harley forced a smile. "Nothin', Puddin," She chirped, trying to seem like her usual self, "Just that time of the mouth, you know?"
Harley only heard some untellingable mumbling, hearing something about "fucking women," and then it stopped.
"Well come on out already, your pissing me off with all that noise," He barked. Harley obeyed as she unlocked the door. She walked over to Joker and hugged him.
"Welcome home, Mistah J," She chirped. "How was tonight? Have any fun?"
"Hardly," Joker shoved off Harley's affections, "I tried to rob some bank tonight but of course good ol' batsy had to come and ruin it," He ranted. "Thank god for gas bombs, or else I would've spend the night in the slammer," He snickered. He turned to Harley. "Did you feed the hyenas?"
Harley winced mentally at the idea of jail, but quickly brushed it off. "Yes dear," she said. "The boys are all fed."
"Oh thank god," Joker said in relief, "Those dreaded mutts have been tearing up the place, I was worried they were going to rip it apart."
Harley still felt very uneasy. She needed some time alone. "If you don't mind, Puddin," she started, "I think I'd like to go visit Ivy."
Joker raised a brow. This was a bit out of character for her. Usually she was estastic when he got home. "Really? What for?"
"Oh, you know, I haven't seen Red for some time, so I'd thought I'd stop by and say hello." Harley explained. "I hope you don't mind."
"Whatever." Joker could honestly care less.
"Oh thanks, puddin!" Harley placed a quick kiss on his cheek and ran off. "See ya later!" She grabbed a random motorbike and drove off.
"Watcha see me for, Harls?" Ivy said as she stopped tending to her plants to talk to Harley. " Joker bothering you again?"
"Oh no, Red, it's nothin' like that," Harley said. "It's…" She looked down to the floor. "Worse."
Ivy looked at her friend in concern. She gently lifted Harley's face to her's as she stared into her blue eyes.
"Harls," She said. "You sound sad. This isn't like you. Something's up. Tell me what's wrong."
Harley took a long, deep sigh. She knew she had to spill eventually. "Ives, I'm…" Her eyes darted away for a moment. She hesitated. "I'm pregnant."
Ivy's emerald eyes widened. "Your what?"
"I'm pregnant." Harley repeated. She placed a hand on her stomach. "I just found out today."
Ivy was very shocked. "How..when.." She stumbled over her words. "Does Joker know?"
Harley frowned. "No, not yet." She blinked sadly. "I'm so scared to tell him, Red. We're criminals, not parent material. I don't know how he'll react to a baby. He can't stand most kids so how will he treat our child?" She was close to crying again.
Ivy looked on in sympathy at her friend. "Harley," She said. "I get you are scared right now, but I promise you, don't look too far in. If Joker isn't happy, I'll be right by your side. And if he tries to hurt you, he'll have to gone through me."
Harley cracked a smile. "Thanks Ives," She hugged Ivy. "Your the best."
"Anything for you, Harls," Ivy smiled.
"But how should I tell him?" Harley questioned. "I don't know how he'll react, so what do I say?"
"Just go up to his face and tell him the truth," Ivy said. "And if he says something nasty, stand up for yourself. Be confident."
"Ok," Harley said. "I'll try my best. I've dealt with J at his most worst, so what could possibly go wrong?" Harley said with a sudden air of confidence.
Ivy almost sighed, but just kept a concerned look on her face. "Anything bad can go wrong with him, Harls, anything." But she knew Harley wouldn't listen to her. She worshipped the very grounds he walked on.
"Oh thank heaven, sweet relief," Joker said as he finished flushing the toilet. "I thought my bladder was going to explode."
Slamming the toilet seat down, he went over to the mirror to examine himself. While he admired his reflection, he glanced down at the trash can. Something in it caught his eye.
He examined the trash bin, and then he saw something that made his eyes go wide.
"What the hell?" He screeched. Inside the bin, there were boxes labeled; Fruitful Endeavour: Pregnancy Test, Clearblue: Rapid and Digital Pregnacy Test, etc. Then he one tiny little stick poking out.
Curious, he took out the stick and viewing it over made his jaw drop.
It was a positive pregnancy test.
"What in hell's name in this," He cursed, throwing the test back in the trash. "Harley can't be..wait.."
Everything hit Joker like a truckload of bricks. The vomiting, the way she whined about being tired and sick, why something about her just seemed…off. It all made perfect sense.
Joker's face flushed with anger. "HARRLEYYYY!" He screamed, which for a second seemed to shake their whole lair.
A/N: Oh god. Joker just found out Harley is pregnant, and he's not too happy about it. How's Harley gonna deal with him? I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and leave a review: I'd gravely appericate it. Til next time, peace.