i.
It starts when Lola says she wants to ask Chase out.
Zoey means it when she tells Lola it seems like a great idea, so she isn't sure why her stomach seems to think otherwise, leaping into her throat or dropping to her feet like she's on a rollercoaster when she thinks about it. After all, Lola is pretty and nice, and Chase is too in his own odd, sweet way. They seem like a good match, the actress and the playwright. He would help Lola run her lines and she would bring him coffee in the mornings after he'd spent the night typing away at his script. And Lola will surely get the lead in all his plays now, and for some reason that just makes the weird feeling in her chest get worse and she doesn't know why.
She also doesn't know why her mind keeps circling it like a starving vulture. High schoolers dating each other was practically inevitable, especially when they were all living on the same campus, and in some ways she's surprised it didn't happen sooner. Though she always thought it would be Nicole who'd get a boyfriend first, or Lola and Michael, or someone else. Someone who wasn't Chase. But certainly she never thought that she and Chase would get together, even if the words hadn't seemed all that odd when she was lying to Trisha Kirby. No, his hand had been sweaty when he held hers and it's not like she had wanted to kiss him, even if there were far, far worse people to kiss and it probably wouldn't have been that bad, actually - but that was besides the point.
She means it when she tells Nicole that she doesn't want anyone to get hurt. After all, Chase is her closest guy friend and she feels protective of him, especially when Lola seems so...impulsive and indecisive. And this has all happened so quickly, and it's probably just a crush that Lola will get over in no time while Chase deserves better than that, deserves something deeper and more meaningful.
But she also knows that her feelings aren't quite as altruistic as she would like. She knows it when she stands by herself on the tennis court, waiting for Chase to show up; when he goes to see a movie with Lola instead of getting sushi with her, Zoey, allegedly one of his best friends. Because she's not ready to lose him as her best friend, not even ready to be bumped down the priority list. And she's not sure she's ready for anyone, even Lola, to eat up all of his free time.
Still, it's not like she's going to mope about it. She has much better things to be doing than lying on her bed on a Saturday night, wondering how Chase and Lola's data is going. If he's making her giggle, if their hands are brushing as they eat popcorn, if Chase will kiss her goodnight. It might look like she's moping to Nicole, who keeps badgering her to "stop feeling sorry for herself" which is ridiculous because the amount of times she has listened to Nicole whine about some cute boy in her Algebra class must be in the thousands and -
"Guys, I just saw the cutest thing," Quinn says as she pops into their dorm room, ignoring any and all social niceties as always. "Lola and Chase! She had her head on his shoulder. Wouldn't they make such an adorable couple?"
"Not as adorable as you and Mark," quips Zoey.
"Well obviously," says Quinn.
What would Quinn know about romance anyway, Zoey thinks. She wouldn't even have a boyfriend if it wasn't for me - and Chase. Which just makes her pout slightly, until Lola walks in - early - and announces that the epic love story of Lola and Chase is over, at least for now. And it's not like Zoey is gleeful that they didn't work out, especially because she didn't know that Chase liked someone from his hometown and now she wants to know who, but she is relieved. Especially when Chase texts her asking if she wants to play Would You Rather.
ii.
"Are you a thousand percent sure they were kissing?" Lola asks.
The question just makes Zoey stab her straw deeper into her frozen slushie and grit her teeth. Because yes, she's sure. She's pretty sure the image is going to be burned onto the back of her eyelids for the rest of her life. If not the memory than the humiliation of it will stay with her forever. She'd been so confident as she'd marched across campus, so determined that she would finally have an answer to that rumour once and for all, and instead she's greeted with the sight of Chase tongue-deep in another girl. And then she'd had to walk back, embarrassed and inexplicably sad, before Quinn and Lola pounced on her the second she walked through the door only for Zoey to announce that all she'd done was meet Chase's girlfriend in the most awkward way imaginable.
Which technically was an answer, she supposes.
"Either that or Chase was trying to suck the teeth out of her mouth," Zoey replies.
Because it wasn't just a friendly little kiss, shared between two kids who think they might like each other. No, Rebecca had practically been sitting in Chase's lap, had been utterly wrapped up in him. Really, Zoey thinks, she should be thankful that Chase's hand had just been resting on her hip and not halfway up her shirt - or halfway up that scrap of denim Rebecca calls a skirt, for that matter. For some reason, she doesn't feel all that grateful.
Still, she doesn't understand why Lola and Quinn feel the need to announce that they don't like Rebecca when they haven't even met her. After all, why wouldn't she be ok with Chase having a girlfriend? She doubts Nicole would have told either of them about Zoey's...concern when Lola asked Chase out (and boy, would that have been awkward to walk in on), but even if she had, what would she have said? That Zoey was protective of Chase? She doesn't think that's new to anyone. Besides, Chase is the one that was allegedly in love with her. No one ever said anything about her having to love him back.
Only, she wonders if her roommates might know something, something she doesn't. When she goes to sleep that night, she sees Chase and Rebecca flash before her eyes again, the way the word 'girlfriend' had stumbled out of his mouth, hears herself say, "Nice to meet you," only to let out a sigh after it. Thinks about the sign on the door when she had finally, finally closed it, staring back at her almost mockingly: No...Not You?
Because it's possible that when she'd gone to ask Chase if he was in love with her she'd thought about what she would do if he was. And it's possible that the idea hadn't seemed all that bad. Hell, hadn't she already been flirting with him, smiling at him as she'd sipped her javaccino and sticking her tongue out at him? Hadn't he flirted back? Perhaps they would have gone on a date to Sushi Rox, his knee knocking against hers under the table. Maybe he would have held her hand, smiled at her shyly as he entwined his fingers with hers. Perhaps he would have leaned in and kissed her, and she would have closed her eyes and kissed back. And it seems wrong, that Rebecca knows how his lips feels against hers and Zoey doesn't; that she knows how his skin feels against hers and what it's like to have him call you his girlfriend.
Especially when it becomes so clear that Rebecca doesn't even deserve Chase, not trusting him enough to stay friends with her. Zoey would love nothing more than to see Quinn zap her with whatever ray gun she apparently got past campus security, other than maybe to slap some sense into her herself. But Zoey also sees the wide grin on Chase's face when he's walking around with her on campus, how even just saying her name makes him smile. And suddenly all the fiery rage and indignation inside her dies down and she knows what she's going to go to do.
She's going to let him be happy.
It leaves her feeling empty inside. With Dana, Nicole and now Chase she's lost more friends than she's made at this point, but she's also come to realise that she'd trade a lot of people to have known Chase the way she has for the past two years. He hugs her and it makes her feel warm inside, only for Rebecca's warning to come racing back into her head a second later. Suddenly, she wishes that she'd hugged him more, laughed more, spent more time together.
Chase runs off looking for Rebecca the second he's able to and she's left in the lounge, already feeling forgotten. She wishes that he'd stayed with her, asked her for a second time if something was wrong because she hasn't ever been able to lie to him, not really. Instead, she feels the same way she did when she walked in on them kissing.
It feels a lot like disappointment.
iii.
The five of them are playing pool when they decide to wander over to the lounge's kitchenette to grab some drinks and a snack. It's then that Zoey spots Chase's unmistakable bush of hair. She'd thought it odd that he hadn't responded to her texts asking if he was joining them, and is just about to call him over when she hears a girlish giggle and some pretty redhead emerges from the other side of the fooseball table he's standing at.
"Um, should we be offended that Chase blew us off to flirt?" she asks. Immediately, the remaining four whip around to stare at the duo in the most obvious way possible.
"Damn, she's hot," Michael says with a grin and a fair amount of pride.
"She's way out of his league," scoffs Logan. "She's not even going to look at him when she sees me." He starts walking in their direction and is immediately stopped by Lola and Quinn.
"Let the boy have his fun," Quinn admonishes.
"Yeah, besides, Chase has way better game than he gives himself credit for. After all, he learned from the best," Michael says, managing to somehow unscrew his Blix smugly. Logan scoffs.
"As if he learned anything from you," he says, while Zoey asks,
"What do you mean?"
"Trisha Kirby, Rebecca, that Mel chick who got suspended from voting in school elections because she tried to vote for him fifteen times," Michael lists, ignoring Logan.
"Me," Lola adds.
"You," Michael confirms. "And he had that date with Kristen Franklin."
"What? He didn't tell me about that," Zoey says.
She regrets it the second she says it. Really, she wants this entire conversation to be over. She gets that Chase is a teenage boy with...needs...or something, but she doesn't like thinking about all the girls that have apparently been fawning over him that she's been oblivious to for however long. She figures it's because she's still feeling a bit burned after Lance (surely there has to be one good guy at PCA for her), but she's also realised that she holds Chase somewhat responsible for the whole fiasco. It wasn't his fault that Lance had turned out to be such a smarmy, entitled jerk but she'd also gotten used to Chase being overprotective, letting her know which boys she should watch out for. She looks back over at Chase flirting and purses her lips, wondering if he didn't try to stop her from dating Lance because he was "distracted".
"No way," says Quinn. "She has a waiting list outside her dorm room for dates. Half the football team is on it."
"He skipped the queue," Logan shrugs. "Apparently she'd asked him out first year but, you know," and if Zoey didn't know better she'd say Logan had gestured in her direction.
"And? How'd it go?"
"Lola, don't. It's wrong to pry," says Zoey, nudging her friend in the ribs. Maybe, she thinks, it's the leftover guilt from walking in on Chase and Rebecca that has her feeling so uneasy. Lola rolls her eyes and immediately turns back to Logan and Michael.
"I'd say it went pretty well, based on the long kiss goodnight she gave him, you know what I'm saying," Michael laughs and slaps a loud hi-five with Logan.
Or maybe she's uneasy because Kristen Franklin is a complete skankbag whose entire personality is derived from her bra size and she should sho -
"Zoey! Zoey! Earth to Zoey," Lola yells, waving her hand in front of Zoey's face.
"What?" Zoey snaps.
"You're strangling my slushie," Lola pouts. Zoey looks at her hand to find it holding Lola's now mangled drink. She releases it and the plastic loudly pops back into place. She looks up to find all of them staring at her quizzically. Before anyone can say anything another giggle sounds across the room, and they look over to see the redhead twirling a finger in her hair as she starts to edge closer to Chase.
"Ok, I'm going to take my slushie and Quinn's zap watch back to the pool table now. Goodbye," says Lola, and drags Quinn by the wrist after her. Zoey follows them quickly, some part of her relieved to be away from Chase's attempts at flirting and another part wondering what she would have done if she had stayed.
iv.
She doesn't know how many more times she has to say it. Three? Five? Ten? Twenty?
She is not jealous.
Yes, Chase had broken up with her and yes, she had been a lot surprised and a little bit upset, but that was six months ago and she's over it. She hadn't even been that upset, not really. She'd cried once, maybe twice, and moved on (the first week of summer vacation where she had cried so much that both her mother and Dustin had threatened to fly to Baltimore to speak and/or punch Chase did not count). That was in the past, and they said they would stay friends, and friends are ok with friends dating other people. Besides, she has finals to study for and college applications to fill out, she doesn't have time to keep track of who Chase is or isn't seeing.
She certainly doesn't have time to go to Vacarro to "spy" on Chase's date with Danielle (and it's completely normal for her to know who she is and that she and Chase have Geography together). She thinks it's a bit odd that Chase would take Danielle to Vacarro on the first date, especially when he only took Zoey there once, but that's just because she didn't know Chase had that kind of money to spend, especially that early in a relationship, but hey! It's his money, and he can spend it however he wishes. Maybe he really, really wants to get into Danielle's pants. Or, maybe he just really wants lobster. Who knows.
Not Zoey! Sure, she might have casually suggested that she, Lola and Quinn go to Vacarro, but she didn't know that it was the same night Chase was going. She just thought that they could do something special together, and as much as she loves Sushi Rox, it can get boring sometimes (but it has nothing to do with all the nights she and Chase spent there). She's definitely not going to spend the whole night trying to watch what Chase and Danielle are doing over Lola's shoulder. No, she's going to sit there and catch up with her friends. She wants to hear how Quinn's chemistry assignment is going and how Lola's theatre production is going and -
"Oh my god, is she touching his thigh?"
Quinn and Lola dutifully, but somewhat unenthusiastically, turn to look, then turn back to her.
"Are you going to do that to all the garlic bread?" asks Lola. Zoey looks down to find that she's wrung her bread stick like a wet towel.
"You said you wanted them plaited," she says, and puts it back on her plate.
"Better the bread than Danielle's neck," Quinn mutters to Lola.
"How many times do I have to tell you? I am perfectly fine with Chase dating someone new," Zoey repeats. "In fact, I think it's a good thing. I'm happy for him."
"So you'll let me set you up with that cute guy from my drama class?" asks Lola.
"..No," Zoey replies. She picks at her misshapen bread stick, wishing they had enough money to order something other than bread. She also wishes that Quinn would stop waxing lyrical about Logan and their first date here, especially because it makes her think of James and she can't help that think that if it hadn't been for him she would be the one sitting across from Chase. That she would be the one laughing at his jokes, she would be the one feeding him a spoonful of her dessert - wait what, and suddenly Lola and Quinn have to physically restrain her.
"That little -"
"Shh," Quinn says as she covers Zoey's hand with her mouth as both she and Lola succeed in pushing Zoey to the floor with a clatter. A waiter walks by and stares at them disapprovingly, raising a single eyebrow at Quinn and Lola's sheepish smiles. Lola peeks her head above the table for a moment.
"Ok, well, I think that put a dampener in dessert time but Chase hasn't come over so hopefully he still doesn't know we're here," she says.
"Oh, I'll let him know we're here," says Zoey, trying to get up. She's immediately pushed back down by Lola and Quinn, who shush her again.
"No! You said you were ok with him dating someone else," Lola reminds her.
"Even if you think they're moving too fast," adds Quinn.
"Moving too fast? At this rate they'll be on their honeymoon by the end of the night," Zoey half-shrieks.
"That's not the point -"
"Since when did he go that fast? It took him almost four years to kiss me! And I was the one that initiated it!"
"Fine! Then go tell him that," says Lola. "Go! Tell him you want to get back together, like you should have done six months ago."
"But if he -"
"Are you still in love with him?" Quinn asks, not unkindly. "Because you should tell him if you are."
Slowly, Zoey peers over the table to stare at Chase, his smile soft as he says something and makes Danielle laugh. Suddenly, she feels very silly sitting on the floor of an overpriced restaurant spying on her ex-boyfriend and still-best guy friend.
"I just want him to be happy," she murmurs.
"Have you ever met two stupider people in love," she hears Lola mutter, and it just hurts more.
Ten minutes later, Zoey has paid the bill, watched Quinn stuff the remaining bread sticks into her hand bag, and is ready to physically and mentally let Chase be. They're just walking out when she hears her name and finds Chase looking right at her, brow furrowed. He glances at Danielle then gets up and walks towards her, Quinn and Lola giving her a nod before they walk on ahead.
"Hey, I didn't know you were here," Chase says. "Are you ok?"
"Yeah, of course," she says, trying to give him a genuine smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"I just thought you looked kind of upset but - hey, must be a trick of the light," he says. "This place does have weird lighting."
"I think it's supposed to be romantic," she laughs. "Speaking of which...looks like someone's on a date. Going well?"
"Ugh, yeah?" Chase shrugs, rubs the back of his neck. "I'm probably not the best judge of these things."
"I'm sure you're doing fine," she assures him. "Besides, she must be into you. This is a pretty serious place for a first date."
"Yeah well, once you rule out Sushi Rox there aren't that many other places on campus to go to," he says. She's not sure what shows on her face, but he starts to stammer out an explanation: "It was where we had our first date. I mean, I know I was in England but, you know, technically...It just didn't feel right, to go there again." He meets her eyes for a brief moment than looks away and runs a hand through his hair. "That probably sounds stupid."
"No, it doesn't," Zoey says, quiet but sincere. "I hope you have a really good night."
"Thanks," Chase says. "Me too."
With that, they say their goodbyes and Chase goes back to sit with Danielle. Zoey turns to walk out, but can't help but turn back for another look at Chase, their eyes meeting. They stare at each other for a long time before she leaves.
v.
At first, Zoey could barely recognise Chase without the bushy hair. She lamented it, the final goodbye to her high school years and (when she admits it to herself) her first love. It hadn't helped that the first time they'd caught up again he'd had Lindsey, his long-term girlfriend, on his arm, and she'd been dating Brett then, so they had exchanged pleasantries and said their goodbyes and she figured that was the end of Chase and Zoey.
Yet, as fate would have it, all six of them ended up back in LA as college ended and back into each other's lives. And slowly, Chase's short hair had started to grow on her, especially as she spent more time with him and found that he still smiled the same, was still willing to play Would You Rather with her, could still make her laugh. It probably hadn't hurt that Lindsey had broken up with Chase to move to Amsterdam, either.
It's not that she's still in love with Chase. She's not even sure she could call what she felt in high school, whatever it was, love. But she thinks it could be very easy to fall in love with him, and she thinks she would like to. Also, she's been single for a few months now and he looks damn good in a pair of jeans.
Unfortunately, other girls have noticed this fact, too.
She's too old to be jealous, she knows this. Chase is also old enough to make his own decisions, including about who or who not to hook up with, and she just has to trust that he's smart enough and safe enough to use a condom and not impregnate anyone. She just hopes it will take less than three years and a plane trip to England to get things moving this time.
Still, it's one thing to be ok with Chase dating/kissing/fucking someone in theory, and another for him to run into a girl while they're at a cafe and for her to kiss him square on the lips before wrapping her arms around his neck. She looks wide-eyed to the others for an answer, only to be met with bemused shrugs.
"I had no idea! How long are you here for?" Chase is asking, then seems to remember that he has friends he should probably introduce this mystery woman to. Now. "Guys, this is Alyssa, we went to school together."
"...Did we?" asks Michael.
"I feel like we'd remember if we did," Logan replies, looking her up and down. Quinn hits him on the shoulder.
"Not PCA. At Covington. She was an exchange student, like me, so we hung out a lot," Chase explains.
"Not sure that explains the enthusiastic greeting," Zoey says.
"I'm French," Alyssa says, like that does.
"Yeah, pretty sure that's supposed to be on the cheek," says Quinn.
"Anyway, let me do proper introductions," says Chase. "Alyssa, this is Logan, Quinn, Michael, Lola, and Zoey."
"Ah, the famous Zoey Brooks," says Alyssa, with not a small amount of derision.
"...Oh yeah?" asks Zoey.
"Of course. Not a lot of people stayed at Covington for just under three weeks," says Alyssa. She glances at Chase. "Plus, Chase mentioned you from time to time. All of you. It feels like I know you already!" She says it with a smile but her eyes are cold when they meet Zoey's, and suddenly Zoey knows that Alyssa and Chase did not date in England, and it wasn't because of Alyssa's lack of trying.
"Well, that's good news," says Chase. "Because Alyssa is here for another six weeks which means we get the chance to make her feel as welcome as possible."
"Yay. Can't wait," says Zoey.
It's not like the following six weeks are torturous, exactly. Mostly, they spend their weekends going to any and all tourist attraction that Alyssa hasn't already been to, and Chase will be sweet and considerate because he's Chase, which makes Alyssa say something inane like "can you believe this man is single?" usually while glaring at Zoey, because Chase clearly has not provided the epilogue to their tragic love story where he got back from England and Zoey kissed him and then he dumped her a year later for undisclosed reasons, not that Zoey is still bitter or anything, but he should probably tell Alyssa that.
And for the most part, Zoey doesn't hate it, other than the times Alyssa is staring at Chase like she wants to dip him in chocolate and eat him - which is most of the time - and when Zoey feels like she's back in high school, terrified of losing Chase, a fear which is only egged on by the fact that he and Alyssa seem to get on swimmingly and Zoey is suddenly not so much a third wheel as she is a spare tire on a rowboat.
But it's not like a sip too many of tequila would send Zoey tumbling over the edge so that she starts crying to (a very confused) Logan, of all people, about how she's going to be in love with Chase forever while stuck in a loveless marriage to some guy who works at a gas station from her hometown while Chase moves to a Parisian apartment to spend his days having sex and eating croissants and chainsmoking, because that would be insane. She's also not that prejudiced against the French.
Still, it gets harder and harder for her to be civil to Alyssa and not just roll her eyes all the time. She also can't help but notice that Chase hasn't exactly turned her down, looking damn right appreciative when Alyssa shows up wearing a tight dress or a bikini top. The last straw is when Chase brings up Alyssa's farewell dinner while he's at Zoey and Lola's apartment.
"Do you think she'll like it?" he's asking her. Zoey passes a cursory glance over whatever he's trying to show her, a cake or a dress or a balloon arrangement or something, then goes back to her magazine.
"It's adorable," she says. Chase stares at her, jaw tight.
"Do you seriously have to be like this?" he asks her after a moment. "Look, I get you don't like her for whatever reason, even though she's been nothing but nice to you -" Zoey snorts, "but could you at least try to make an effort? I want her to have good memories here."
"Ok fine, I think she'll definitely sleep with you if you get her a chocolate cake instead of vanilla. Happy?" says Zoey.
"That is not what this is about," Chase snaps.
"Then what is it about?"
"It's about the fact that she's my friend," he says, and Zoey just says "sure" uncharitably. "Well then, how about this? It's about the fact that she was one of the only people I could turn to when you were off gallivanting with James."
"Oh, so I'm the villain here," she says, swallowing down the sting of his words. "God forbid you let anything from high school go!"
"Ok fine, I shouldn't have brought that up," Chase admits. "But that doesn't change the fact that you always do this. The second I get close to any girl who might actually like me is the only time you have ever shown any kind of interest, and I'm sick of it. I'm not spending the rest of my life waiting for you to figure out what you want. Not anymore of it, anyway." He gets up and heads for the door.
"So what, you're going to chase after her? Move to Paris?" Zoey asks, aiming for mean but landing on shaky.
"No, I think we should fuck around with a webcam first," Chase scoffs. "That worked so well last time." And with that he leaves and slams the door behind him.
For a moment, she can't quite believe what just happened. One one hand, she's grateful that everything that had been bubbling under the surface for so long is out. On the other hand, she can't believe they had a blow up over something so minor, so petty. Realistically, she knows he's not going to haul up his life to go to Paris, might not even spend a night with Alyssa before she leaves, but just the idea of those outcomes makes breathing slightly harder. What she does know is that she does, in fact, already know what she wants. Had known it even before he'd walked out the door.
She runs after him.
Zoey's not a jealous person, not really.
She trusts Chase wholeheartedly, so she believes him when he says that he barely even looks at other girls, let alone thinks about getting with them. But that doesn't mean she's completely above finding some enjoyment when she sits in his lap at a bar and watches a girl or two turn away, suddenly a lot more disinterested. Or she'll suck a bruise onto the column of his neck so it just peeks out over the collar of his shirt as he gets ready to go to work, or makes sure to emphasise the word 'girlfriend' when she introduces herself just a little bit. And Chase - well, he is a jealous person, even when he tries not to be, and that's a lot of fun too.
But sometimes it creeps in when she isn't expecting or wanting it, absurd and irrational. Like now, when Chase's attention is elsewhere and he's saying things like beautiful and stunning and it's not about her. It must show on her face because Chase looks at her and starts to laugh, making her pout before he wraps his arms around her.
"Who would have thought? Zoey Brooks, jealous of a sunset," he teases. She lightly elbows him in the ribs, making him laugh again. "I didn't know you were the type."
"Only when it comes to you," she says, rolling her eyes fondly. Still, the sunset seems a lot prettier now that she can lean her head back against his shoulder, feel his chest against her back. She entwines her fingers with his and realises that, actually, there's a very simple way for them to both stop being jealous. She smiles to herself as she thinks about it, the kind of ring to get, how she'll propose - because let's face it, if she leaves it up to Chase they'll both be forty by the time he does anything. She figures they've been moving in that direction for a long, long time anyway.
And he might have had a point when he said she didn't like to share. At least not when it comes to him.
A/N: It is a crime we didn't get more jealous!Zoey when it was literally the best use of Jamie Lynn's extremely limited acting abilities. I don't condone the slut shaming in this fic, Zoey is just bitchy and conservative. Leave a review if you liked it.