Korra was out and about with her friends, Mako, Bolin, and Asami, celebrating yet another victory scored for the Avatar. The place that they were hanging out at was a new cabbage themed restaurant and it seemed like the planets had aligned to give the most chill atmosphere humanly possible.
As the group laughed and ate, Mako spoke up in between bites of his cabbage to say "wow Korra, we sure have been through a lot of impossible odds, haven't we?"
Korra chuckled and said "I know right? Isn't there anyone who can give me a proper challenge?"
Suddenly, almost on cue, the room went quiet as the man, the myth, and the legend himself, Steven Seagal, walked through the door of the cabbage restaurant. If one listened closely, they would be able to hear thunder and lightning go off everytime he took a step.
"I can give you a challenge," said Steven Seagal
"Is that so?" said Korra sarcastically as she and her friends began to get up from their chairs.
Korra, Mako, and Bolin, whipped out their elemental powers while Asami put on an equalist glove and set it to maximum charge.
"Is that it?" asked Steven Seagal as he flipped his ponytail. This hair flip caused every child born on that day's head to explode in a fiery blast.
Steven Seagal then took a combat pose as the rest of the customers in the restaurant had stopped eating their cabbages and began looking onto the scene in front of them with sheer awe.
Things were going to get super messy.
Mako cupped his hands together and unleashed a stream of orange fire at the action star. Steven just punched the fire hard enough that it disintegrated in thin air.
Mako then began flipping through the air and launched fireball after fireball at Steven Seagal to burn the martial artist to a crisp.
Of course, this didn't work because Steven is constantly sweating due to a combination of his body fat and his overly large coat covering his gratuitous fat, so fire helps cool him off.
Mako continued tossing fireballs at the martial artist while Steven just yawned, before he caught Mako with his aikido.
Steven stared at Mako, before he spat on Mako's forehead. The force behind his spit droplet caused Mako's brain to explode from the inside and the Firebender died immediately before falling over.
Bolin screamed in rage at his brother's death before he began pulling out chunks of earth and began tossing them at the martial artist.
Steven began dodging these earthly chunks with speeds so graceful and elegant that the Flash would be impressed.
Bolin continued hurling rocks before he realized that this tactic wasn't really working, so he reached even deeper into the earth until he found what he needed. Bolin then began tossing orange splooges of hot lava at Steven in order to make Seagal fry.
Steven caught one of these lava flying wads in his hands and then popped it into his mouth. He chewed with satisfaction before he began to blow a bright orange bubble.
The bubble then popped and lava splattered onto Bolin, causing both his arms to burn off.
Bolin screamed at the loss of both his arms before he looked up and saw that Steven now stood in front of him with his arms crossed like a complete and total chad.
Bolin then squeamishly said "uhhhh, I'm autistic?" before Steven Seagal used his aikido to flip Bolin over his shoulder and Bolin exploded into many chunks with the force of a dying star.
Steven caught one of Bolin's pieces and popped it into his mouth.
"Finger lickin good" said Steven.
Tears began to flow from Asami's eyes as she watched two of her best friends get murdered in front of her.
Asuka's sorrow then turned to pure, hotblooded rage as her equalist glove oozed electricity and she lunged at Steven in an attempt to cook the sucker.
Steven then responded to this attack by casually reaching out and catching her with one hand. He then crushed her weapon without so much as flinching.
Asami fearfully asked "h-how'd you do that?"
Steven grinned before saying "I wasn't born on a turnip truck man and I wasn't born at night either."
Asami then asked "what the fuck are you talking about?"
Steven did not answer her, he just wrapped his hands around Asami's head and began squeezing until it popped like a pimple.
Finally, the only one left was Korra and she was absolutely dumbfounded. How could three experienced fighters lose to this warrior? He was better than any bender she'd seen in her life.
Korra then got those thoughts out of her system before she began using every element at her disposal to kill this man.
Korra was using the powers of water, earth, air, and fire but none of them seemed to even phase Steven. He just walked through them as if they were a cool breeze.
Korra then went into the Avatar state and shot Steven with a concentrated beam of energy but Steven didn't even seem to notice or care about what she was doing to him. He just continued walking towards her as if nothing was happening.
The Avatar State eventually used up all its energy and Korra then changed back to normal, tired and utterly taken aback by Steven's resistance to all of her attacks.
Steven was now mere inches away from Korra's face and Korra just braced herself for the end.
To Korra's surprise, Steven didn't use any of his martial arts on her or do any of that other ultra-Chad stuff that Steven Seagal is known for. Instead, he just pulled out his guitar and began to sing his heart out.
I cannot tell you what the lyrics were because its already hard to tell what Steven is saying when he talks, but when he sings, he becomes harder to understand than most death metal musicians.
Steven sang his insanely bizarre music for 24 hours straight and by the time he was finished, Korra looked like she'd found a new meaning to life itself.
"That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard" said Korra.
Steven grinned and said "come here baby."
Korra and Steven Seagal then made passionate love to each other for weeks on end until eventually, the two of them got married and they had several kids together.
All of these kids were named Steven Seagal because Steven doesn't wanna raise pussy ass bitch children.
The land was then protected for many generations afterwards, all thanks to Steven Seagal.