AN: I hope you enjoy my first foray into the Mass Effect fandom! I intend this story to follow Jane and Kaidan as they develop into the characters we were introduced to at the start of the first game. Part 1 will follow them through childhood/adolescence to the end of the first game. Part 2 will explore their relationship in an expanded, imagined but still canon-compliant Mass Effect 2 and 3 and after. Parts 3-5 will explore their relationship after the games as they learn that courtship is the easiest part of any relationship and what it means to be committed . As this is my first fic into the Mass Effect fandom, please let me know how I'm doing and if you're enjoying the fic. Feel free to let me know what you like and what you wish would happen, or what I need to improve upon.
2168
Brooklyn, New York
Liberty Megalopolis, United States of North America
Earth, Sol
Local Cluster, Earth Alliance Space
Autumn was Jane Shepard's favorite season, but it sure made sweeping leaves off the steps of St. Sophia of Rome's Home for Daughters super annoying. Just when she bagged up a nice, healthy pile and could enjoy the clear concrete path leading to the home's entrance, the strong October wind would breeze on by and clutter said path with more foliage of golden brown and red.
Jane groaned as the insistent breeze howled for the fifth time, and the trees showered her in fresh fallen leaves. As she picked a maple leaf out of her hair, she eyed the five-level sky platforms above her that expanded eastward from Manhattan. Chains of sky cars, shuttles, and open-air tourist buses zoomed past the man-made sky tributaries full of clear and clean water flowing into the blueish-brown hued Hudson and East Rivers. The thin, young trees and bushes from the platforms above shook as those vehicles zipped along, making it rain leaves and other, less savory things down to the ground.
She didn't mind doing a chore. In fact, she enjoyed working so long as there was an actual goal to complete. However, there was no purpose to senseless busy work assigned only to keep her occupied. It seemed like ever since she'd turned thirteen a year ago, the nuns scrambled to come up with all sorts of chores for her to do in her new ankle-length skirts, now that she'd 'become a woman'.
"Believe me," Moira had warned, "they're going to try to keep you busy with even more chores and with long, thick skirts. They ain't gonna let you put your knees out on display. They say, 'after a certain age, we can't be dressed for play.'"
Jane hadn't listened. Moira exaggerated all the time, and this was just one more tall-tale-until the nuns had stripped her dresser of her "children's clothes" and left her with boxy button-ups and matronly skirts longer than their frowns.
"I told you, but you didn't believe me," Moira had lorded over her. "That's what you get for thinking you're above all of us all the time!" That memory stung like a hot needle piercing skin as Moira wasn't usually hostile towards her. In fact, she always protected Jane, treating her like a kid sister, but it was the first time Jane realized Moira, like many other girls at the home, grew tired of the nuns doting so much attention on Jane's academic achievements and resented Jane for it.
Nuts to this! Jane slammed her rake down.
Jane crunched along the cobbled path towards the back hut where the heavy, sharp hedges bordered the lawn on the eastern side. Near the hut, the hedge thinned out from generations of girls sneaking out, just enough for a young girl's wiry frame to pass through. This "secret garden" neighbored the popular pawn shop, where kind Mr. Ishaq would let the girls gawk at the many pieces of jewelry and other items people hawked for cash.
The older girls would go on about how they'd one day get a man or woman to buy them a ring like that, gah gah over shiny jewelry. Jane just liked that they sparkled like the stars she'd seen in the many space-themed holobooks she poured over. Since she had never actually seen any stars living in the city, she appreciated anything that came close. In fact, her favorites were the jewelry made from space gems. She'd twirl them in her fingers as she imagined the journey those gems went through to end up at some dinky pawn shop in Crown Heights.
The north had nothing for her other than a dark and dank dead-end set to the soundtrack of dripping water from a sewage pipe, so Jane naturally went towards the south side of the narrow alleyway. There, two girls had pushed the hedge aside to get a glimpse of the Brooklyn outside St. Sophia's gates. Here, under the bower of tree branches, the stench of cigarette smoke grew stronger. Though most people indulged in artificially scented tobacco from personalized or designer electronic vaping devices of all shapes and sizes, the classic cheap pen that only held a maximum of 200 puffs never went away, especially in the poorer neighborhoods like these.
"Girl, I'm hungry," Rosario whined as she twirled her scuffed up vape pen.
"Dinner's in about two hours. You can wait until then," Moira's no-nonsense voice answered.
Judging by the state of their uniforms, they looked like they were preparing to go somewhere. The older girls told Jane how boys would be hypnotized by their hair if they let it down messily after a whole day's worth of it being tied up, by patches of their skin seeping through open slits of their unbuttoned shirts, and by their legs once they shortened their skirts with tape, safety pins, and tucking them up from the waist. Jane couldn't see why such a fuss had to be made.
"Man, I'm tired of orphan food. I want something I can buy!" Rosario inhaled deeply on her cigarette.
Jane chuckled. Orphan food. It wasn't like the nuns fed them gruel or didn't give them seconds or thirds.
"Girl, you're broke! You can't buy shit!" Moira took Rosario's cig and puffed as the other girl exhaled.
"Honey, we're all broke!"
As Jane approached the girls, a twig snapped under her foot, causing them to panic. Moira went to snuff out their shared cigarette, until Rosario let out an exclamation: "Oh, it's only Janie!"
"I told you not to sneak up on us like that," Moira sniped. "You almost made us waste a cigarette!"
"We thought you went pumpkin patchin' with the other kids," Rosario said.
Jane shook her head, ignored Rosario referring to her as a "kid", and then shrugged her shoulders as she widened her eyes like a puppy.
"I can't stay mad at her." Moira nodded for Jane to come over and join them, prompting her to skip on over.
"You're just a big ole softy!" It was Rosario's turn to shake her head at Moira. However, she then took a hairbrush out of her bag and started to sweetly brush Jane's hair. "Such pretty red hair for such a cute girl!"
"I'm not cute!" Jane protested. Her earlier smile formed into a frown as her face pinched into a scowl.
"Sorry, señora!" Rosario answered, shaking Jane's shoulders playfully. "I meant to say 'for such a bonita!'"
As Jane laughed, Moira filled the pen with a nearly empty pod she probably just purchased on the down low from the bodega around the corner. Moira inhaled deeply. With a cough, she handed it to Rosario, who placed it in-between her lips as she messed with Jane's hair. Jane mildly coughed as the thick, blue nebulous steam billowed along in the air.
For never having any money, Rosario and Moira sure got their discount vaping pods somehow, but if they were smoking, that only meant…
Jane's smile grew wider as a pot of excitement inside of her started to bubble. Jane gazed eagerly at Moira and Rosario,who sighed, and handed her some pocket candy. Lemonheads, mini airheads, and individual pieces of Starbursts - her favorite.
Smacking on her lemon Starburst, Jane narrowed her eyes at Moira and Rosario whispering to one another - exchanging that damn vaping pen. No matter what she did, Jane knew Moira and Rosario would always see her as the kid sister who was never going to be old enough to be invited into their most intimate conversations. They'll be leaving in less than two years. Jane refused to dwell on that, as she had them with her for now.
"They're here!" Moira exclaimed, waking Jane from her daze.
Jane squinted through the narrow slit of the open hedge that Moira and Rosario had been staring out of, and could only make out a very obstructed view of parked cars and bodies sitting on the curb, some already making camp.
Rosario whipped out a red hair scarf and a red scrunchie from her bag. "Okay, see ya later, Jane."
"Wait, where are you two going?" Jane tilted her head to gain a better view.
"Nowhere you need to know, niñita!" Rosario answered. Jane must have been glowering hard because Rosario's face softened. "It's for older girls. You'll be bored. I promise!"
"No, I won't!" Jane stomped her feet.
"Yes, you will!" Rosario handed Moira the red scrunchie, and checked her own reflection with her compact. Jane watched as the two girls hurriedly primped and preened.
"If it's so boring, then why are you two going?"
"Because we're stupid!" Rosario fired back as she tied her hair back with the red hair scarf.
"No, you're not!" Jane protested. "You just don't want me to go!"
Before Moira could answer, two male figures appeared at the iron barred fence.
"Say, girls, you ready?" One tall, quite striking man strode up to Moira, stroked her hair, and then handled her red scrunchie with care before pulling her in close to a kiss. Jane grimaced at the sight.
"Hurry!" a second man stage whispered, jogging up behind his buddy. "I don't need no nuns casting a curse on me." He shook and trembled with anxious energy as he eyed the convent.
"Nuns aren't witches, idiota!" Rosario dug through her bag and mumbled to herself about whether she'd forgotten anything.
"I don't know. I hear that Sister Guadalupe be practicing Santeria or some shit," the second man said.
"Manny!" Rosario admonished before smiling and tilting her head. "She's more into tea leaves and some shit."
Manny licked his lips, and pulled her into a kiss in between the iron bars. Jane quickly looked away. Boys interested her too, but slobbering spit all over each other seemed like another thing entirely.
Once the girls and boys stopped locking lips, Moira and Rosario hurled their bags over the fence for the boys to catch, both of them failing to. The girls responded with some choice words, and the boys responded in kind - blaming them for throwing them too far.
"Not fair!" Jane bellowed, desperate for the older girls not to forget she was there, but more curious to see what they were up to and wanting to join them so she could know first-hand what girls did with boys during the day.
"Janie, shut up!" Moira yelled back, with equal timbre. "You're gonna get us caught!"
"Who's the kid?" the first man asked, looking at her like she was a yapping puppy.
Moira narrowed her eyes. "Oh, don't worry about her, Petey; she won't say nothin. Plus, she ain't coming."
Jane sighed and slumped, ready to concede. Unable to raise her head to the older girls, she simply mouthed, "Okay."
"Why not?"
Jane perked up at the sound of a third, younger voice. She gazed out of the now widened gap of the hedge to make out a third, younger boy accompanying Manny and Petey.
"Oh, Rocco's got a crush!" Petey said.
"No, I don't, shut up!"
"Aww, a regular Jack and Jill," Manny said.
Rosario shot Manny a quizzical look. "Weren't they brother and sister?"
Jane sneaked a peek at Rocco and gulped, eyes suddenly darting back to the ground. He must have been fifteen or even sixteen years old.
Then she remembered when Sister Guadalupe read her tea leaves some weeks ago, as she often did for the bored girls. What was it that Sister Guadalupe had said? That her soul mate was about fifteen to sixteen years old at the moment. That was all she could tell from her tea leaves, apparently. Was that him? Jane couldn't help but hope so.
She stole another peek. Sure enough, he was cute beyond belief, and so tough in his open flannel shirt, exposing his muscle underneath with the top rim of his boxers sneaking out from his jeans. Noticing how he dressed like the older boys, Jane wondered if boys also knew how to dress to grab a girl's attention. Suddenly, Jane felt so matronly in her boxy button-up and thick ankle-length skirt.
The boy greeted her with a nod. Such swagger! Jane collected herself and did her best to imitate him, attempting to look as tough as she could.
"Damn, chica," Manny said, "what's with the mean mug?"
Jane's cheeks flushed as she must have been trying too hard.
Rocco laughed in response. This time, Jane sent him a scowl that she meant, and he buried his laughter in a feeble mimicry of a cough.
"Oh, nuh-uh, you ain't coming. You got homework or somethin'!" Rosario said as she clamored over to the other side of the fence with Manny's assistance. A smile broke through Jane's scowl as she watched Rosario slap Manny when he got too handsy "assisting" her underskirt area. "A nun should curse you!"
"You have homework too!" was all Jane could think to say.
"No way, you're not coming! Go finish your chores," Moira seconded as she climbed off with Petey's help.
"Finish yours!" Jane's back straightened and head held high as she puffed her chest out. Suddenly she felt so bold. Then her eyes met Moira's serious glare, one she was familiar with when she stepped out of bounds. Still, Jane had something to prove. Inhaling deeply, Jane said, "You can't stop me," and readied herself to climb the iron bars as the older girls had just done. Seemed easy enough.
"Come on, then, hurry!" Rosario said skittishly, ready to go on her escapade. Moira's tense stance loosened as she simply nodded for Jane to hurry.
Jane climbed up the fence and as she crossed over the top, back towards the street, she suddenly felt a pair of hands on her waist, gently assisting her down. As she jumped off the gate and landed, she turned to see Rocco withdraw his hands from her waist with a shy smile. He had deep sky eyes - like the colors of the Illium topaz, her favorite space gem. Something inside of her told her she'd never forget the colors of those eyes. He sheepishly brushed the front long layered bangs from his hair before nodding towards a Nissan Nitro anti-gravity hover cruiser.
Jane sat in the middle with Rosario in the back as Rocco and Manny sandwiched them. It might have been a four-door, but this car was tight as hell.
"How long we got?" asked Petey from the driver's seat.
"One hour before Mary Clarence usually checks up on us," Moira answered from the passenger seat before he zoomed off.
"Brighton Beach?" Manny asked.
Petey gave a thumbs up before heading south.
Goodbye, Crown Heights! Jane was practically jumping in her seat. However, as she stole a glance at Rocco's exposed knee next to her covered one, she tried to keep it cool. Attempting to relax into her seat, she felt her left arm pressing against Rocco's right. Her heart started to race faster than the speed of this car.
Trying hard to focus on something else, she noticed that these dudes had decorated the entire interior with red accessories. Not only that, but they were all wearing red shirts, red bandanas, and one had "The Reds" tattooed on his arm. Even Rocco had put on a red backwards baseball cap.
Jane whispered to Rosario, "Are these guys part of that Reds gang?" Rosario simply hissed at her to be quiet, but Rocco nodded proudly. Suddenly, a sense of unease began to take over.
With one hand on the wheel, Petey zig-zagged through the congested Crown Heights traffic in a way she never saw the nuns do with their bulky hover vans. Their bodies would have been flying all over the place, even with seatbelts, had the car not already been filled to capacity.
"So, you heard about the Reds?" Manny asked, his arm around Rosario, who laid her head on his shoulder. They were so comfortable with one another; Jane suspected Rosario had been sneaking out for a while now. "Whatchu hear about us?"
"That you're a gang and you do bad things like sell drugs and guns," Jane answered. She would have crossed her arms, but she didn't want to be impolite.
"Jane!" Rosario shouted as she smacked Jane on the knee - not hard enough to hurt her, but the chastisement was clear: be polite. Jane scoffed in return - she thought she was being polite!
"Nah, it's cool," Petey interrupted. "Kid will open her eyes one day."
"Open my eyes?" Jane huffed.
"What you see when you look around here?" Petey asked. Moira clasped his non-steering hand. Doing the sign of the cross and clutching onto her chained crucifix, Jane was not sure how safe it was in this car if both of his hands weren't on the steering wheel, but it beat being in a car with Sister Marjorie sitting super upright and close to the steering wheel, squinting through her thick Omni-lenses.
"I don't know." Jane shrugged. It just looked like Crown Heights-Flatbush to her.
"Take a good look…"
Jane peered through the small windows. Just things one saw at four in the afternoon - one block full of bright tacky signs, beauty supply stores, liquor shops, and porno theaters next to a block full of fruit stalls, banks, markets, and law offices - and not just public defenders' offices as one saw on her block. Oh, and non-stop construction - probably related to the upcoming residences being built to price out the older residents and the sky platform expansion from Manhattan. As the car stopped at a red light, a sea of people poured through the crosswalk, most of whom were probably coming home or going to work.
"Nothin' but people working their side hustles trying to make enough to afford ground-level housing with corporation street signs everywhere." Petey accelerated after the light turned green. "Before, at least the only shade we got was from trees and awnings from individually owned brownstones and shit. Now, all the shade is coming from dem platforms above where all the people with money live while the rest of us get their scraps."
"Scraps?" Jane's head tilted, as if that would help her understand.
"Think of it this way," Moira added, "imagine you're at a beautiful dining table, but there are four more, even higher, tables above them. All the food is on the top table and it's a huge buffet with more food than they or their children or even great-great grandchildren could eat in their entire lives."
Jane's stomach growled.
"You think they'll throw us a bone?" Rosario asked.
Before Jane could answer, Rocco said, "Nope."
"Kid is right," Manny said. "They keep all the food for themselves and the second table gets whatever trickles down from the top table. Just enough that they fool themselves into thinking it's their fair share, and they're situated close enough to that first table that they think they'll be invited to the top one day." Manny shook his head in disbelief.
Petey added, "But don't let them fat cats fool you, whatever falls from their table ain't nothing compared to what they got going on at the top. The third table gets whatever scraps that fall from the second table and blah blah blah. By the time we reach the bottom table, the one closest to the ground, there ain't nothing but crumbs."
"So, we're sitting at the bottom table?" Jane asked.
"Hell, no!" Petey bellowed, slamming his fist on the steering wheel. "Half of us living on the ground level are lucky to be waiters at that table, the other half are the stray dogs walking around once all the guests leave - sniffing around the floor for any crumbs leftover."
"And that ain't all," Manny said.
"Not by a longshot," Petey said. "Those people at the highest table ain't just got all the food, no, they control who gets to sit there too! In fact, they designed the entire thing. You think they want trash at their table? No way. Before all this space shit and sky high living, at least they had to deal with the trash they left behind cause we all lived on the ground. Now they live way up in the sky and never have to touch the ground - so they don't care if all the trash and poison lands here."
Boy, this guy sure can sure say a mouthful. Is it really that bad for all of us? Moira seemed to eat it up, though, as she kissed his free hand.
"All everyone cares about now is space, they forgetting the people who still live on Earth. The poor are poorer than ever while the rich are richer!" Manny said.
"You'll see," Rocco agreed. "You lucky you live in a nice orphanage to protect you... for now."
"Why aren't you in an orphanage if it's so good, then?" Jane asked, challenging this boy - her crush on him waning by the word.
"Because I'm one of the unlucky ones who got useless parents." Rocco guffawed. "Wish they gave me up, though. You lucky."
"Yeah…" Jane drifted off, not wanting to continue this line of conversation. What the hell did he know about not having parents, being skipped for adoption for years, being unwanted? He was the lucky one - with parents. If she had parents, she wouldn't care if they yelled at her everyday. She would just change into a person they wouldn't yell at so much. He probably did something to make them mad.
"So," Petey said, waking Jane from her stupor. "The Reds see all that and say 'hell no!' to it all. We will demand our place at the highest table!"
"Or die tryin'!" Manny hooted.
"How?" Jane's ears burned to hear more of this fool's philosophy.
Petey eyed Jane from the rearview mirror. "I like this kid, she got a brain. Always asking questions."
"She sure is smart. Got awards for her school work and everythin'. Qualified to test into one of the high schools of science next year," Moira said.
"No shit!" Petey exclaimed, giving her a thumbs up.
"Dem schools be on the third level platforms at least," Manny said.
"That's our little star child," Moira said.
Jane's cheeks suddenly felt red hot. Fixated on her long, cumbersome skirt, she wanted to melt into a puddle. Hearing Moira sincerely praise her for her school work was a surprise. All the energy the nuns doted on Jane and her high test scores wore thin on the other girls, some of whom were no slouches academically either. Sisterly affection or no, Moira was no exception.
"Anyway," Petey said, going back to her original question, "there are three ways to reach the top table -"
"Climb your way up," Moira cut in as she stared at Jane.
"Sneak your way up," Manny said, sneaking in a kiss on the top of Rosario's head.
"Or," Rosario added with a self-satisfied smile.
"You saw off enough legs on enough tables to send it all crashing down to the ground." Petey and Moira high-fived.
Jane didn't need to ask which way the Reds were going to do it. She wasn't sure what to think anymore. The Reds were dangerous, but Manny and Petey sure didn't sound like bad men….in fact, they seemed like they knew what they were talking about. And fighting to make sure everybody got to eat sounded right...and the way of doing it - by "sawing off the legs of enough tables" - sounded exciting! Boy, could she use some excitement.
"Don't worry, Jane," Moira reassured her after a few quiet beats. "You have what it takes to climb to the top table. Just don't forget about the rest of us. We're important too."
"Life is all about taking care of people weaker than you, don't forget that," Rosario added as she stroked Jane's hair, moving some flyaway strands off her face.
Jane strained to understand what they were telling her, exactly. However, she felt Rocco's eyes burning a hole through her.
Yearning for comfort, Jane instinctively nestled her head against Rosario as she had done countless times, prompting the older girl to wrap her arm around her and squeeze. Moira turned and offered a supportive smile, which Jane answered with a satisfied grin.
Once they reached Brighton Beach, Rosario demanded that Manny buy her two plain slices and a coke while Moira and the first man walked hand-in-hand in the sand. Jane thought the image of two people in their Fall outerwear walking along the beach was quite funny.
"Want something to eat?" Rocco asked, kicking the sand, and looking at anyone but her. Jane wondered if he felt he had to babysit her now. She turned from him and crossed her arms.
"No, thank you."
"Come on, I heard your stomach rumbling earlier."
Jane felt her face flush even harder than it had earlier when she first set her eyes on him. Clutching herself tightly, Jane said sheepishly, "I don't have money, anyway."
"It's on me," Rocco said. Jane turned and saw Rocco gazing at her with a friendly smile. The thought of a few hot dogs excited her and overcame any sense of pride she just had.
Snapping off a bite of her third hot dog, Rocco squeezed more ketchup onto their shared order of fries.
"So, did you know your parents or were you one of them basket cases where they dropped you off when you were baby?"
Jane wiped the mustard off her lips, and gawked at the rude boy.
Rocco playfully backed away holding out his palms as if to shield him from her glare. "Hey, I was just makin' conversation." He must have thought he was funny because he started chuckling to himself.
"I rather not talk about it," Jane said as she finished her hot dog. She shook her head and waved away the fries he had offered her.
"Didn't mean to make you mad."
"I have a feeling you make people mad whether or not you intend to."
"Goddamn, girl, you talk like an old lady. What? You a nun already?"
Scoffing away, Jane leapt off from the table top they were sitting on and stomped away. She had no idea where she was going - all she knew was she wanted to get away from him. Hearing footsteps scuttling fast behind her, Jane changed her stomping to a stride.
"Hey, don't be mad!" Rocco yelled at to her.
He wasn't going to break her stride! Nothing was. Without realizing it, she realized she was running. Ha! Jane came to a stop when she felt confident that she had lost him. Looking around, she found herself on the deader side of Brighton Beach. Abandoned rotted wooden buildings, fallen bus stop signs, and abandoned subway entrances to the old B and Q lines.
Jane jumped at the touch of two cold hands clutching her shoulders.
"Gotcha!" Rocco screamed, nearly doubling over in laughter. "You thought you had lost me, huh?"
"No!" Jane glowered at him. "I just felt sorry for you and decided to stop so you could catch up."
Rocco bristled. "Girl, I was never behind."
Rolling her eyes, Jane tried to think of a way to get rid of this punk. She didn't care if she had to take the skyway home so long as she could get away from him. Eyeing the abandoned B train entrance, a lightbulb flickered inside her head.
"Hey, you want to play a game?" Jane asked, pulling an old trick up her sleeve. She shuffled her foot and waited as she enticed him to join in. At the home, Jane never had trouble convincing all the other girls to play games, and learned how to rope in even the most resistant girl. She figured boys weren't too different. .
"Yeah?" Rocco's eyebrows raised. "What kind of game?"
What's with this weird slow way this boy is talking? No matter. He seemed to think she was asking him to play one of those games Moira and Rosario were playing with their boys. If that's what he wants to think, then Jane figured she better use it. "Oh...yeah…." Jane whispered, fluttering her eyes at him. She had no idea why she did that but he licked his lips.
"What you had in mind?" Rocco asked as he looked around to make sure nobody was watching.
Jane nodded to the abandoned subway entrance, roped and taped off from the public.
The boy stiffened and a sudden flash of fear came over his face. "Uh, you want to go in there?"
Jane nodded as she played coy, head turned down and eyes looking at the boy big and wide.
"Aren't those places dangerous?"
"If this one was so dangerous, then wouldn't the entrance be sealed off like those other old abandoned subway tunnels?" Jane marched on to the entrance and tore off a ribbon of the elastic yellow police tape. "See, anybody can just walk in. It must not be too bad."
Before Rocco could say anything, Jane rushed right in. Relief flushed all over her. Maybe he would be too scared to follow her in, making her trick much easier than she imagined. All she would have to do was wait it out until he left. However…
Rocco followed in after her. "Ok, we're in. Can we go now?"
"We just got here! Come on, let's explore!" Jane then ran deeper into the ground. As she descended down the long decline towards the underground tracks, the sunlight emanating through the entrance dimmed and everything grew pitch black. Turning on the flashlight option of her OmniWatch, the creaky, dripping abandoned subway station didn't look too bad actually. With a few more light sources and a lot more people bustling about, it would look like one of those photos of the old subway stations of the early 21st Century...kind of grimey and trashy with people looking annoyed that their train was late yet again.
"This is kind of cool," Rocco said as he walked near her, flashing light from his own more expensive-looking OmniWatch. Suddenly, Jane felt self-conscious of her own cheap OmniWatch. "Those nuns ain't tracking you or anything, are they?" Rocco eyed Jane's OmniWatch.
"They are."
"What!?"
"It's cool. If they don't know I'm away from the Home they won't feel the need to track me."
Rocco shrugged his shoulders. "If you say so."
"I do," Jane said, full of confidence, head held high.
A mischievous grin grew on Rocco's face. "I just don't want a bunch of nuns swarming down here with that one nun putting a voodoo curse on me."
Jane rolled her eyes and sighed. "Sister Guadalupe isn't into voodoo! She just reads tea leaves!"
Finally, they had reached the track. "To think, old trains needed these sorts of tracks to run on, not like now with our hover-laser trains." Jane sat on a old wooden bench on the platform.
Rocco sighed as he sat next to her, eyeing the station. "You ever ridden a subway or a skyway by yourself?" Rocco asked.
"No, not by myself. I never go anywhere by myself," Jane replied.
"You lucky."
Annoyance rose inside of her gut. "Why do you keep saying that?"
"Because it's true. I always been left alone, sometimes for days and days. Must be nice to always be surrounded by kids your age."
What's with the way he was talking to her? Like he was studying her? Jane could feel Rocco gazing at her, like she was some exhibit on display at a museum. "Well, it's not all fun and games." Jane wanted nothing more than to correct this ideal image of her he had imagined - as if it came out of Madeline or The Sound of Music. "It can be really annoying. Lots of yelling, sometimes we even fight! And you always got to watch your stuff! And the nuns coming in trying to get us to behave and punishing us by making us do chores and extra prayers and whatever. You have no privacy and you can never do whatever you want to do because the nuns are always there. Today was just a weird day where they went out on an excursion and allowed me to be alone."
"Sounds fun. Like having a classroom of sisters. Kinda like me and the Reds. With them I have brothers and sisters who get me...you're never alone with them."
"What about your parents?"
Rocco snickered at Jane's question. "If you can call them that."
"Well, I still think it must be nice having parents and a room to yourself!" Jane stood up and stomped her foot, putting an exclamation mark on her comment as if to say "case closed."
Rocco shook his head, and his voice deepened. "Do the nuns treat you alright?"
"Well, yeah, of course, they do. They can be real buzzkills but they're alright." Jane turned to Rocco, whose head was down as he stared at the concrete floor. All she could make out was the top of his red baseball cap.
"I think my mom would've been alright if she wasn't into that stuff…"
Before Jane could ask, Rocco mimicked stabbing a needle into his arm. Jane didn't quite know what exactly he was saying, but knew it had to be some sort of narcotic-related action he was imitating.
"At least she's still around," Jane responded, hoping to salvage her argument that she still had it worse than him."
"Depends…" Rocco face finally shot up. She saw tears well in his eyes betraying the tough face he was showing off to her. "Mom's always in-and-out of jail. When she's out of jail, it's always the same old promises. 'Honey I'll be better next time! I promise I'm clean now!' Must've heard that about a hundred times now. Guess where she's at now?" Rocco spat on the ground.
Jane took a seat next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, to which he shook away. "You have a dad, right?" Jane peered at the boy, hoping he could tell her he had somebody at home.
"My old man? Yeah, I got one - does just enough to trick the social workers that he's trying his best. When they leave, he just sleeps or watches the VidCon all day - which is fine with me because when he's not doing that, he's just bustin' my balls and bea-" Rocco suddenly stopped for a moment before continuing, "-blaming me for everything."
Jane found herself wrapping her arms around Rocco's neck, hoping to pull him into a hug. However, her forearm pressed against the lower part of the back of his neck, where she felt a swollen welt.
"Hey!" Rocco shoved Jane away. "Don't touch me! I didn't say none of that for you to feel sorry for me, alright!"
"What was that on the back of your neck?" Jane asked, her mind too occupied with what she had just felt.
"It's nothing!" Rocco shot up from his sweet and turned back towards the path towards the entrance. "Let's just go!"
Jane also shot up and placed her hands on her hips. "Hey, you're the one who decided to share your story!"
"That's only because you act like you got it so bad! You don't know what bad is!"
"You don't know!" Jane yelled back. "You don't know what it's like every adoption day, season after season, of hoping and wishing someone would want you only to be passed over time and time again!" Jane strode straight to Rocco and faced him, eye-to-eye. "No matter how many 'As' you get or how great your test scores are, or how cute you try to make yourself, nobody wants you! Hell, knowing your own parents don't even want you!" Jane pulled his face back to hers when he tried to turn away. "Poor you! So your parents are horrible! At least they kept you! You have no idea what it's like when nobody wants you!"
Jane jumped off the platform and ran, following the old unused tracks. The sounds of rats scurrying away did not scare her from continuing on this path. She had no idea why she was running or where she was going, but it just felt too good to stop.
When her body finally forced her to stop to take in some much-needed breaths, worry and regret suddenly overcame her. Rosario and Moira. Checking her OmniWatch, she saw that there were five missed calls from them and now no signal. Sure enough, they were now way late getting back to the home - too late to sneak back undetected. She was sorry that she would cause them so many problems with the nuns. Maybe she could think of a way to get them out of trouble.
Hearing footsteps echoing behind her, Jane was too spent to try to get away now. It no longer mattered.
"Girl, you loco or something?" Rocco held on to his knees, panting.
"I think I might be," Jane admitted, also panting - heart racing from the impromptu marathon cardio workout. Looking down at her shoes, she noticed they were surprisingly muddy. When did I step on mud? Eyes darting towards Rocco's shoes, they were also muddy.
"Listen," Rocco said in-between deep breaths. "We gotta go back." Rocco stretched out his hand and offered Jane a soft smile.
Jane nodded, and grabbed onto it. Her heart beat even faster as he clutched onto her hand tightly. Maybe he feared she'd run off again.
They silently walked along the track back to where they came. As their steps crunched, Jane noticed that the ground was much softer and muddier in this area than the other parts. Something didn't feel right. It was as if something was singing to her from underneath the ground.
After a few quiet moments, Rocco turned towards her and said, "I'm sorry if I said anything to hurt your feelings."
"Me too," Jane whispered.
Rocco smiled. "I really wanted to show you a fun time…"
Jane's eyes widened at the boy as she tried to concentrate on what he was saying. Everything started to echo and vibrate.
"No, not like that!" Rocco let go of her hand, and rubbed to back of his head. "I know you're a good girl, growing up with nuns and stuff. I respect that! I don't want you to think I'm trying to do something…"
Jane widened her eyes even further - to the point of bulging. She lost track of what Rocco was scrambling to say. Her chest tightened and her skin started to seize. Something deep within her gut started to tremble and shoot out. She felt like she needed to throw up, but that wasn't it. Was this one of those cases of spontaneous combustion she read about?
"Oh my God! You're glowing!" Rocco shouted
"I don't know what's going on!" Jane shouted as she trembled with fear. Looking to her arms, a cerulean glow emanated out of her pores.
"It's ok, I'll figure something out…." Rocco paced around talking himself out of a panic.
"Don't leave me!" Jane pleaded.
Rocco rushed towards Jane, but too afraid to touch her. Instead, he fumbled with his OmniWatch in an attempt to call for help. "Hey, I signal down here!"
Jane's knees buckled as she fell onto the soft cushy ground as Rocco's voice faded into the background. The last thing she remembered was that the ground was too glowing blue.
The beeping sounds from the heart rate monitor awakened Jane. Eyes still blurry, she shot up, in a panic. Where was she? All she saw around here were hospital monitors and a transparent cube trapping her inside. Shaking with fear and unfamiliarity, Jane cried out.
Right at that moment, familiar cooing sounds lulled Jane into a calm. Sister Bernadette's humming voice spread warmth all over her. If only she could feel her embrace.
"Jane…" Sister Bernadette called. Jane turned towards the voice, and saw the nun's smile meeting her.
"Sister Bernadette!" Jane yelped, as she tried to to jump off of her bed.
"No, don't!" Sister Bernadette cried out.
Jane shook. "Why am I in a cube?"
Mother Superior Mary Clarence strode in with two containers of vending machine tea. "Ah, Jane, you're awake."
Gulping at the sight of Mother Mary Clarence, Jane suddenly remembered that she had been on an unauthorized outing with Moira and Rosario. She closed her eyes tightly, readying herself for a scolding. However, after a few moments, none came. Jane opened her eyes to see Mother Mary Clarence smiling widely at her.
"Our prayers have been answered, and you're safe," Mother Mary Clarence said as she took a seat next to a nodding Sister Bernadette, genteely sipping her tea.
Jane sat back, calming herself down as she realized she wouldn't face a harsh scolding at this moment. "What happened?"
Mother Mary Clarence and Sister Bernadette exchanged glances. The momentary calm in Jane dissipated as a deep-seated uneasiness unsettled her.
"Jane," Mother Mary Clarence said, "it's time you learned the truth about you. You're a biotic."
The weight of heavy dred fell freely down into the pit of her stomach. A biotic. Those people...those sick, contagious freaks...many of them were monsters, weren't they? News story after news story of various biotics committing crimes, combusting, and causing insurmountable damage came flooding to her. How could she be one of them?
Staring at the cube entrapping her, Jane asked, "Is that why I'm in here? So I won't spread the oozies to you?"
Mother Mary Clarence shook her head. "It's to protect you. The immune system of anyone's who's been exposed to raw element zero is compromised for a few days."
"Yeah, right," Jane said, rolling her eyes.
"You came to us as a biotic," Sister Bernadette added. "If we were afraid of getting 'the oozies', we wouldn't have taken you in."
Jane arched an eyebrow.
"A biotic doesn't spread element zero or any of that nonsense people spout off."
So she had always been one. But why didn't they tell her before? Why didn't it ever show up? So many stories of children finding out their biotics when they accidentally made their house explode or killed their parents or whatever...it all happened when they were relatively young...Jane was fourteen now. Why didn't it manifest itself until now?
"You see," Sister Mary Clarence continued, "your exposure was limited and minute when you were still in your mother's womb."
My mother? Jane clutched her knees. "What mother?" She asked sarcastically.
"Your mother had been exposed to Element Zero when she carried you."
"To be fair," Sister Bernadette added, "regulations weren't what they are now and many women were needlessly exposed to it and many of them were with child at the time. Oftentimes they were fatal to the mother and left the child a biotic. That's why there's been such a surge in orphaned children."
Jane's eyes widened. Her heart now hopeful. "Did my mother die?" She wanted one of the sisters to say "yes" so badly. That meant she wasn't unwanted afterall!
"Well, no…" Sister Bernadette replied, cheeks flushing.
Jane's face fell as she slumped back onto her bed.
Sister Bernadette fidgeted in her seat. "That isn't to say she…"
"I get the picture," Jane interrupted as she buried her face to her knees.
"Jane, when you went down to that subway tunnel, you actually uncovered something," Mother Mary Clarence said.
Jane's eyes darted towards the Mother Superior.
"EeeZee Corporation has been dumping Element Zero waste in abandoned subway tunnels. They thought they wouldn't be caught if they buried them deep enough in more depressed neighborhoods in welded sealed containers, but they have been leaking for decades. Causing many people to get sick."
"In a way, you're a hero!" Sister Bernadette exclaimed.
"You've exposed some bad acts and you've caused quite a stir now. Now people are rising up to demand action to clean up the mess and compensate those who've gotten sick." Mother Mary Clarence offered a slight smile to Jane.
"Oh, our star child!" Sister Bernadette said.
Jane's spirits rose as she thought about all of that poison spreading throughout Brooklyn and who knows where else more containers were buried. To think she may have jump-started a city-wide clean up. However, eyeing the giant transparent cube that kept her isolated from the two nuns in her room, her heart sank again.
"But I'm still a biotic."
Mother Mary Clarence shrugged her shoulders. "So you are. But you've always been one. This latest exposure just...made you a more powerful one now."
Anger in her blood bubbled to a boil. "But I'm a freak!"
"Were you a freak before?" Mother Mary Clarence asked.
"Maybe…" Jane answered softly.
"But you didn't know you were a biotic. Does knowing now really change who you are? Who you were back then?"
"I don't know…" This was becoming all too complicated for Jane. All she knew now was that everyone was going to know and will treat her differently. Wait! Jane stared straight at Mother Mary Clarence. "Did the other girls know that I was a biotic?"
"No," Sister Bernadette shook her head.
"But," Mother Mary Clarence interrupted, "do you think that'll change how any of them feel about you?"
"Yes!" exclaimed Jane. What a dumb question!
Mother Mary Clarence shook her head and chuckled. "Jane, you're loved by all of us. Anyone who loves will continue to love you - even the ones you annoy. You are our family."
Before Jane could respond, the hospital room door shot open with Moira and Rosario rushing through and slamming into the transparent cube.
"Ow!" Rosario exclaimed as she clutched her nose.
Jane chuckled as Moira rubbed her forehead.
Old Sister Marjorie with her thick Omni-lenses waddled in. "Sorry sisters, but these two begged and begged me to drive them to see Jane. I hope you forgive me for giving in."
Mother Mary Clarence's grin grew wider. "That's quite alright, Sister. After the sterning talking to we gave them, I think these two earned a right to see their sister."
"Oh Janie!" Moira finally said. "We're sorry we left you alone!"
Tears flowed down Rosario's eyes. "Oh my little bonitina! I'm so sorry too!"
The two girls placed their palms against the transparent cube.
"We promise to watch over you better!" Rosario exclaimed.
The sound of Mother Mary Clarence's cough stopped the girl from continuing.
"We mean," Moira clarified, "we won't put you in danger anymore! We promise we'll make it up to you!"
Rosario continued, "We're so happy you're not sick! When we heard that you got shot by that Eezo shit…"
"A-hem!" Mother Mary Clarence interrupted.
Rosario shut her lips tightly and gave Mother Mary Clarence an apologetic look before walking towards her with her arms turned inward in a submissive position. She shot the Mother Superior puppy dog eyes.
Sister Bernadatte began to chuckle lightly. Sister Marjorie guffawed. Mother Mary Clarence rolled her eyes before shouting, "Come here!" and welcomed Rosario in a tight embrace. Sisters Bernadette and Marjorie joined in. "You too!" Mother Mary Clarence bellowed welcoming Moira into the group hug. Then the group surrounded the cube and all laid their arms out to give Jane a metaphorical hug as well.
A few weeks later, Jane swept the ground as she watched the younger girls in their afternoon play.
"Janie!" cried a young girl, "come play!"
Jane crouched to the ground and rubbed the young girl's hair. "I can't today, Iris, I'm doing my chores, see?" Jane showed Iris the broom.
"Ok, but maybe after your chores?" Iris pleaded with her sad doe eyes.
Jane shook her head. "I'm sorry, but you know I have my 'special powers' training before dinner." The younger girls loved to call Jane's biotic powers "special powers" as they imagined her to be some sort of super hero.
The girl frowned. Thinking how to make it up to her, Jane thought about what she would have wanted from the older girls at that age. Then it came to her. So simple. "How about we read a story and I fix your hair before bedtime?"
Iris' face lit up as she nodded excitedly. Jane watched Iris as she skipped away and told the rest of the kindergarten to second grade girls that Jane was going to read them a story and do their hair.
Welp!
Jane swept past Rosario and Moira complaining about having to mop the Home from top to bottom for the fourth time that month and towards the hedge that opened into "The Secret Garden." Jane shook her head as she resisted entering.
She looked out to the front gate, and saw a familiar body flash by. Squinting to make out the figure now standing away from a distance, Jane walked closer. It couldn't be...it was! But the nuns were patrolling all over!
Jane looked around, seeing Sister Marjorie was busy fumbling with her lenses while Sister Guadalupe was reading tea leaves out of a cup to the other girls. No other sister was around. Taking her chance, she ran towards the fence.
Rocco nodded at her from a distance. Why isn't he coming closer? She didn't know how much she had wanted to see him again until now. He pointed downwards from where she stood. Looking down, on the other side of the iron bars was a red baseball cap, with a tiny handwritten note that said "hat 2 da back". Looking around again to make sure none of the nuns were watching, she grabbed the cap and hid it under her bulky, boxy blouse.
Once she looked up again, Rocco had disappeared. She sighed and wondered if she would ever see him again. Her eyes lingered on the spot where he had just stood for a while longer. She clutched onto the cap hidden within her bosom, and continued her sweeping.
2168
Gagarin Station aka "Jump Zero"
Kaidan Alenko woke to a sharp, shooting pain in his head. Rising out of bed, despite the brain-piercing pain stabbing against his skull, he shut his eyes and worked to block the agony. Inhaling through his nose, he rounded his shoulders. He then exhaled, stretching his neck out in a clockwise direction - trying the new exercises promoted by his teachers at Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training (BAaT) to help biotics deal with the pain that came from these new L2 implants. He wasn't sure if this actually helped or if it just gave him something to concentrate on instead of the pain, but it relaxed him.
Kaidan searched the dark room for something to fixate on as another way to ignore the anguish swirling around in his skull. A burnt orange glow captured his attention. "Conatix Industries" written in big bold lit-up letters. As if that was something to be proud of...
"I can't take it anymore!"
Kaidan rolled to his right to find a screaming Ryan Yeager on the floor of the shared sleeping quarters. Ryan fell out of his cot and started to wail and flail about as he violently slapped his right palm against his forehead - as if trying to smack away some alien parasite that had sunk its claws into his brain. Kaidan rushed to his side and tried to soothe his fellow biotic. Ryan's body began to calm but he still trembled.
"This hurts so much," Ryan whispered, "I just want to die." Ryan started slamming his head against the steel floor, the hollow sounds of pounding against metal echoing, sending shivers down Kaidan's spine as memories of his own head slamming against metal came back to him.
As gently as he could, Kaidan rested Ryan's head on his lap and stroked his hair. Every biotic at Jump Zero understood that brushing one's hair back actually helped assuage the crushing, debilitating pain caused by those damn implants. Their fellow training mate, Isaiah, joined him and began to massage Ryan's right leg - another new exercise being promoted by BAaT instructors.
Rahna's curvy figure suddenly came into view. Kaidan tried not to pay her too much attention - self-conscious that other people would notice if he admired her for too long. However, he wanted nothing more than to spend all of his time studying her fine tender lines while imagining the sensation of being buried sweetly into her dark raven hair.
Rahna crouched down and raised Brian's left leg - swinging it in a clockwise motion as Isaiah did the same for Brian's right leg. Parentless, even if one had living parents back on Earth or some other colony, all the kids at "Brain Camp" took care of each other because nobody else did. The "adults" here left the kids alone if they wallowed in pain because it would build up their tolerance to it. Such bullshit. No child should be treated this way, and yes, they might be older teens here, but they were still children in Kaidan's mind.
"It's ok, Ry...we've all been there," Kaidan whispered as he massaged Brian's temples - where the L2 implants were attached. Brian shut his eyes as tears streaked down his face.
"It hurts...it hurts…" was all Brian could muster.
"Shhh..." Rahna said. "We're here. We're all here. You're not alone."
Brian's heaves softened as he quietly wept, wrapped in a blanket of torment - one Kaidan knew so well.
As they worked to calm Ryan, Rahna wordlessly mouthed "Happy Birthday" at Kaidan. Seeing her radiant smile follow, with those sparkling hazel eyes flashing behind her luminous dark hair, his heart skipped a few beats. Suddenly, he felt a pit in his stomach and the pounding in his chest quickened. So quick he was to turn his attention back to Ryan, Kaidan was unsure if he had properly responded to her. At least, his own pain from the implants was now tolerable.
Remembering what she had mouthed, Kaidan checked his OmniWatch and sure enough, it was 3 am - today was his birthday! 16 years old already. Two more years and he could escape Brain Camp. Everyone teased that Kaidan's birthday was the easiest to remember since it always fell around Thanksgiving, that North American holiday that gave them one day a year where they were allowed to pig out. Otherwise, it was 364 Earth days (365 on leap years!) of calorie monitoring, water rationing, and non-stop physical, mental, and biotic workouts. Being so deprived of having any autonomy over what he ate or how much he drank for so long, Kaidan swore the first thing he'd do once he left Brain Camp was take a cooking class and learn how to make all the best, most fatty dishes humans had ever invented. Then after he scarfed it all - paying no attention to calorie minimums and carb aversion, he would wash it down with a whole jug of water.
Once Ryan stopped convulsing, Rahna, Isaiah and Kaidan carried him back to his cot. The three of them fist pumped before Isaiah walked back to his own cot to catch some much-needed sleep. A few other stragglers stayed behind to pat Kaidan on the back - some offering birthday wishes - before heading back themselves.
Rahna was the last to leave. As she stood, she gave Kaidan a small smile. It was the sweetest thing Kaidan had received in a very long time. He offered one back to her as he admired the patches of exposed olive skin from where her uniform sleeping attire was unbuttoned from the top. Her thick dark hair, usually tied right into a manageable bun, was messy and loose. It all simply hypnotized him as he took a mental picture of the way it fell against the nape. That neck! Oh, how he wished his lips could taste it. He wished he had a silver tongue at this very moment, so he would know what to say. However, no words came to him. He simply shrugged - not knowing what else to do.
Rahna giggled in response and placed a hand against his bicep before waving him good night. Her touch almost made his knees wobble as if they were made of noodles. Once her back faced him, he allowed himself to breathe a bit heavier as his chest expanded and retracted against his tight shirt.
As Kaidan sat on his cot, he looked to his OmniWatch to see he only had an hour and a half before they all had to be up for the next hellish day with Commander Vyrnnus. He lay on his bed and tried to calm himself to sleep, as the pounding and slamming in his cranium dulled. However, thinking about the next day's training schedule, an image of that monster came roaring in - Commander Vyrnnus.
Screw Commander Vyrnnus! Kaidan bet that, had that blasted turian seen the way he and Isaiah carried Ryan back to his cot, Vyrnnus would have reprimanded them for physically carrying him instead of trying to use their biotics to levitate Ryan back to bed.
Kaidan thought he was unable to hate anyone in his life, but Brain Camp beat out whatever idealized version of himself that he once had.
Life as a biotic - one day you were a child like any other, until you unintentionally showed the world you were a freak. Someone who could make things rise, fall, freeze, or move with just the power of your mind. Suddenly, you were no longer you but an "it". A thing people either observed curiously or were deathly afraid of. Once you're exposed, a bunch of guys in suits showed up at your door after school, then next stop - Jump Zero... a promiseland. But everyone at Brain Camp learned the truth - the hard way. They knew it was...
...hell, where that wicked, sadistic, human-hating turian lorded over them. Just thinking of Vyrnnus filled him with red-fiery rage that he worked hard to contain. Kaidan distinctly remembered the day he had met him over a year ago.
Standing in formation with the other kids, Kaidan observed the mint-green turian as he strolled, eyeing every student as if he was sizing them up and finding them wanting. His white mandibles quivered as he sneered at them.
"The stench of humanity…." the turian growled.
Kaidan had hoped that he was one of those drill instructors who acted tough but would become like their father by the end of this.
"To think... the Council spent millions upon millions of credits on you substandard pieces of filth."
Kaidan glanced to his left and then his right. He knew that was insubordination, but he had to see how everyone else was taking this guy's comments. Everyone looked exactly how he felt. Scared shitless and though their faces were straight, their eyes darted all over the place to avoid looking directly at their drill instructor.
"You!"
Suddenly, Kaidan was face-to-face with the turian. Kaidan did his best to keep his gaze on the turian's eyes as he stood straight and fought the urge to quiver and shake from the sheer fear bubbling to a boil inside.
"Your father served in the Alliance, right?"
"Yes, sir." Kaidan studied the turian's eyes further. It was strange, but he could see the turian's mind working behind them - figuring out how to make him break. For all their exotic features and how different they seemed, all Kaidan could see was how human Commander Vyrnnus looked at the moment.
The turian's voice grew dark, to a snarl. "I was at the helm of the dreadnought that killed your father…" Vyrnnus hissed, referring to the First Contact War between the humans and turians.
This guy was full of shit, Kaidan thought. He could have at least done his homework before trying.
"My father didn't even fight in the war!" Kaidan thinking, he leaned in close to Vyrnnus, foreheads almost touching.
Vyrnnus' eyes narrowed as air puffed out of his nostrils. Kaidan could feel the hot steam blow onto his brow. Vyrnnus moved on to take a crack at another student. Kaidan knew he had just started something with this Commander Vyrnnus - he only hoped he could finish it.
The next year and a half was full of arduous and torturous training with the exercises becoming more inhumane with every passing day. Every morning, the students began their day hoping the depths of Vyrnnus' sadistic imagination would be exhausted, only to be met with something even worse than they had imagined.
A few students had snapped, and were shipped off to who knew where. Some disappeared, only for the students to find out later that they had died from being pushed past their physical limits. There was no time for any of the students to comprehend that twisted fact or to even grieve for their fellows, as they themselves were too busy being worked to their limits.
At the beginning of Vyrnnus' regime, when night came, so long as his L2 implants did not cause him another painful sleepless night, Kaidan would easily fall into a slumber, thanking the stars that he had survived each day. However, when the mornings came, he'd wake up shaking in fear, wetting the bed a few times, that Vyrnnus was only saving the worst for him. He'd spend the rest of the day anticipating just when Vyrnnus would get his "revenge".
Apparently, whatever existing human rights laws that were supposed to protect them from such treatment didn't reach this far back in the Sol System. Kaidan would search, but would see no mention of Earth or the Systems Alliance on any of the signage on this blasted camp. Everything was loftily labeled: Conatex Industries.
Then one day, he wouldn't remember when as all the days blurred into one, Kaidan decided that instead of living life in intense fear, the best thing he could do was to make himself stronger, in every way, in the real way - body and mind. He'd make himself so strong that he could take whatever Vyrnnus had planned for him. During every training, he'd pushed through - completing more and more reps every day and building up his muscles as they pleaded for him to stop through cramps and aches.
Helping him get through were his fantasies - imagining how he'd get through the worst, most bone crushing, pain-inducing, humiliating exercises his mind could come up with, just so whatever he would eventually face would seem like nothing.
He imagined humiliating the devil himself by laughing as he "easily" breezed through every thoroughly constructed, mal-intended test Vyrnnus had spent months thinking up for him specifically.
Then his fantasies grew dark, and he imagined all the ways he would save the others from Vyrnnus' torture and oppression. First by escape, then by revolting, and then - murder. These fantasies grew numerous and even darker over the past year. Oh, how Kaidan wanted to let out all of his rage and resentment bottled up inside onto the sick bastard.
Cognizant at the depths of his anger and contempt, Kaidan became afraid of what he could do if pushed to the edge...no, not afraid of what he could do, but of what he could be. He wondered - if he could have such hate in his heart, then maybe he wasn't good at all. Maybe he was the one who was actually evil, not Vyrnnus.
As Kaidan rolled in his bed, the large orange letters against the sheen metallic walls met Kaidan's gaze again. Conatix Industries. The way humans could forget their own humanity in the race to capture more space astounded him. Here, they pushed children to the brink of insanity. Hell, they even killed them! And for what? To learn how useful these biotic children could be? Useful for what? War? Killing? What a life to look forward to.
Kaidan pulled the covers over his head as he tried to calm the thunderous, crashing waves going on in his mind as if turning down the dial on the stove and putting a lid on the bubbling pot of rage that was ready to bubble over at any moment.
The moaning from some of his mates echoed in the air. A normal occurrence. It was a few other people's turn to suffer from a sleepless night this time around. Everyone else lucky enough to get through an entire night without debilitating head pain learned to turn the sounds of suffering into a lullaby.