Author's Note: Not quite on Maya's birthday, but it's still her birthday month so it counts lol I had hoped to have this one done by the time of Maya's birthday, and have part two done on Claudine's birthday, but I am currently in the process of moving and starting a new job so there will be a delay to part two. I'm hoping to have it released sooner rather than later, so keep your eyes posted!
Also, I want to dedicate this piece to 0mniessence for always leaving me the sweetest reviews and for translating the Kuromaya portion of 9 stories. You're the best!
Leo Season
Of course, even in birth did Claudine Saijou come in second to that infuriating woman. If there had been more of a gap between their birthdays, Claudine would have still found the situation irritating but at least more tolerable. Just a happenstance of nature that Claudine was powerless to dictate in her fetus form all those years ago.
However, having a week separating their date of births felt less like the coincidental nature of c'est la vie and more like a celestial form of mockery, that even from inception, she would be constantly beaten by Maya Tendou.
Claudine knew that in the grand scheme of things this was hardly a detail she should spend so much energy pondering over since there was nothing she could do to change it short of time travel, but it was difficult not to ruminate over the fact when spring turned into summer and the agonizing process of figuring out what to do for Maya's birthday commenced.
Though Claudine reveled in challenges of all forms, this birthday situation stressed her out more than she cared to admit. Since Maya's birthday was first, it was up to Claudine to set the tone for their gift exchanges from year to year. Even worse, since Claudine's birthday followed a few days later, Maya had more than enough time to surpass Claudine with her gift. With something more elaborate, more thoughtful than what Claudine had given.
In their first year, when their dynamic could be best described as a simmering sort of hostility that produced fantastic stage chemistry, Claudine fretted over what she should get for her self-appointed rival. She wanted to make an impression, wanted to appear thoughtful but aloof at the same time. As if to say, 'Oh, it's your birthday, isn't it? Well, here's this incredible gift I got on a whim. Not that I care one way or another.'
After much consideration, Claudine settled on a box of gourmet chocolates from France along with a watercolor print of swans from a nearby pond. By that point in the school year, Claudine and everyone else in their class knew Maya was a bit of a glutton when it came to sweets so Claudine knew the chocolates would go over well. As for the swan artwork, well…Claudine knew she was veering on the personal with that one, though it was difficult not to include it since she just knew Maya would adore it.
When the 99th Seisho class had an orientation picnic at a nearby park prior to the official start of the school year, Claudine had watched throughout the event how Maya's eyes flickered to the swans swimming in the pond when she thought no one was looking, almost as if mesmerized by the aquatic birds. And so, when Claudine happened to come across an artist painting the swans on one of her early morning jogs, she impulsively bought the painting, knowing in that moment that she would never be completely level-headed when it came to Maya.
Maya had loved the gift, or at least appeared to. Claudine had waited until everyone had filed out of the locker room after the day's rehearsals, leaving only the two of them behind, before she practically shoved the gift in Maya's hands.
"Happy Birthday, Tendou Maya," Claudine gritted through her teeth, not quite making eye contact with the other girl, her cheeks bright red.
Maya seemed taken aback for a moment before she took note of the beautifully wrapped gift, her face softening as she opened the present right then. Claudine almost made a quip that Maya should save it for when she was alone, but Claudine, despite how much she loathed it, craved to see Maya's reaction.
When Maya didn't say anything for a moment, Claudine looked directly at Maya, worried that the girl hated the gift, only to find a glimpse of vulnerability in Maya's expression before that veneer of perfected congeniality took over as she made eye contact with Claudine.
"Thank you, Saijou-san. I really appreciate the gift."
Claudine managed a response of 'you're welcomed' before she darted out of the locker room, hating how enamored she was with the glimpse behind the Maya-sama mask and how all she wanted to do was to see it again.
And then, when Claudine's birthday arrived, Maya gifted her a box of Claudine's favorite macaroons in all of Tokyo, along with a set of custom-made stationery and postage for Claudine to write letters to her parents back home in Paris, all impeccably wrapped with a shiny silver bow. They had been alone in the classroom, both having been assigned to cleaning duty for the day.
Claudine felt her chest ache at the thoughtfulness, knowing how much of a pain it must have been to get the macaroons since the bakery was on the other side of town and how considerate the stationary was, though her skin also prickled with annoyance.
Having no audience to perform in front of except the person whose opinion meant the most to her, Claudine graciously and rather flamboyantly replied, with only a slight edge that Claudine could not dull, "Thank you, Tendou Maya," with an added flicker of the hair. "It seems you won this year, though that is to be expected from the thoroughbred."
Maya furrowed her brows in confusion. Though when she realized what Claudine was implying, Maya let out a strained chuckle, one devoid of any sort of mirth.
"Saijou-san, the gift is a gift. Nothing more and nothing less."
And as coolly as ever, Maya took the broom from Claudine's hands and told her that she would be handling cleaning duties alone. Before Claudine could protest, Maya charmingly responded with, "I can't let the birthday girl clean on her birthday now, can I?"
Claudine glared at Maya, and with hackles raised and her gifts tucked underneath her arm, Claudine left the classroom and resolved herself then to never be one upped by Maya Tendou ever again.
Well, at least in terms of gift giving.
During their second year, after the duels, when their borderline toxic rivalry morphed into a more cordial and supportive partnership, Claudine wanted to give Maya a more sentimental gift, something to commemorate that they no longer wanted to annihilate each other in their quest to becoming top star.
After scouring store after store within Tokyo's finest shopping district, Claudine finally settled on gifting Maya a set of custom-tailored hair ribbons. She knew Maya had an affinity for her periwinkle ties, but Claudine wanted to expand the other girl's repertoire, and perhaps, maybe, a bit of possessiveness also influenced the decision. Claudine did not know how to language her desire to see Maya wear something that Claudine had gifted her, but when the idea blossomed in her mind, it was difficult to remove the thought when it had already taken root so deeply.
Regardless, Claudine hoped Maya would love them. She had conducted an intensive selection process to figure out the ideal color and design for the hair ribbons after all. Nothing short of perfection for Maya.
And Maya adored them, after she opened the box Claudine handed her when their friends were distracted and they had a moment alone after Maya's birthday dinner, inspecting each ribbon with reverence.
"They're gorgeous, Saijou-san. Thank you."
The softness of her voice conveying an appreciation that for once wasn't diluted by any masks or any sort of posturing, and it stuck straight to Claudine's heart, much to her annoyance.
Claudine felt the skin on her chest begin to splotch as the warmth traveled up her neck and going higher still, but she managed to fight off the impending blush, and instead, with all the coolness she could muster said, "Of course. How could I not?"
Maya smiled at that, one that Claudine could not decipher, and before Claudine could comment on it, Maya turned her back towards her as she asked, "Would you put one on for me?"
Claudine gulped, glad that Maya could not see her as the blush soon engulfed all of her features, but Claudine was not one to cower. She soldiered on, undoing Maya's ribbon and replacing it with one of her own, a beautiful red one trimmed with gold, trying desperately not to think about the softness of Maya's hair against her fingertips.
When Claudine saw the finished result, with Maya giving her that dazzling yet smug smile, her bow perfectly in place, Claudine had to admit that the gift was just as much for herself than it was for Maya.
While Claudine wasn't one to preemptively declare victory, she felt she had it in the bag that year. But just like the auditions for Seisho, Maya not only surprised her but also well surpassed her.
When Claudine's birthday arrived a week later, when Maya was tasked with distracting Claudine from going to the common room for her surprise (a karaoke party), Maya gifted Claudine a framed playbill from Claudine's debut stage performance in Allie.
Claudine's fingers ghosted over the glass, not quite believing what she was seeing, as she felt her eyes sting with tears. She had mentioned offhandedly to Maya months prior that a pipe ruptured in the basement of her family home destroying some of her childhood memorabilia in the process, including most of her playbills. To have a copy of Allie's playbill, one that was still in pristine condition, meant more than her ego for once, so Claudine turned to Maya, allowing the other girl to witness her in her emotional glory.
"Maya," Claudine managed around the lump in her throat, "thank you."
Maya gave her a soft smile as she leaned over and brushed away a stray tear from Claudine's cheek, ever the princely persona she liked to project and that Claudine was annoyingly smitten by.
"Of course, Claudine. How could I not?"
Claudine wanted to ask so many questions of how Maya found the playbill and what lengths she had to go through to acquire it, but she knew Maya would be coy with her response and offer no outright answers. So, Claudine allowed Maya to retain her secrets for now. As she held the frame in her hands, with adoration and frustration coursing through her veins, Claudine knew no amount of sentimentality would diminish her competitiveness and made another promise to herself that she would not lose to Maya again.
Well, in terms of gift giving.
This year, Claudine vowed to do all she could to ensure that Maya would not surpass her once again, especially since this would be the last year they would be able to celebrate their birthdays together for the foreseeable future. She would be going to France after graduation, and Maya would be staying in Japan, and Claudine wanted to do something to ensure that the other girl would not forget about her in their separation, something so memorable that Maya would always think of Claudine on her birthdays.
Something that would make Maya think of her always.
And so, Claudine began the planning process earlier than needed, revising and editing, revising and editing, until she was satisfied with meeting her own impossibly high standards. Afterwards, she went and hunted down Junna.
Towards the end of their second year, Junna became the official party planner for their friend group when a disastrously organized murder mystery birthday party for Kaoruko almost incited an all-out brawl between Kaoruko and Tamao when they were assigned the same character, causing a ripple effect of chaos through the rest of the guests that Junna never wanted to see replicated in her lifetime let alone be reminded of.
After that incident, it was established amongst the Seisho girls that Junna along with the designated dance partner of the birthday girl would coordinate birthday party plans and would adjust them with input from the group when needed.
When Claudine found Junna in the classroom going over some budgeting reports for Group A, she placed the papers on the desk without prompt.
Junna glanced up at Claudine before sighing, and Claudine almost felt bad for the class rep. It was as if Junna had resigned herself to being the sacrificial lamb to whatever spectacle her and Maya would be concocting this birthday season.
Claudine watched as Junna's eyes swept over the perfectly detailed plans. When she finished, Junna looked at Claudine with a raised eyebrow and thinned lips.
"These plans are quite intricate, Saijou-san."
Claudine planted a hand to her waist as she used her other hand to motion nonchalantly.
"Of course, I can't have Tendou Maya finding any faults with her birthday celebration."
Junna fidgeted with her glasses, her tell-tale sign of discomfort, before she met Claudine's gaze head on.
"Are you certain she would like this? Tendou-san seems more of the reserved type. Well, outside of the stage at least."
Claudine leaned against the wall and regarded Junna. During her planning process, Claudine had opted to choose something that was higher in risk and higher in reward rather than something completely safe. Memorability did not lie in cowardice. Her and Maya knew that better than anyone.
"Honestly," Claudine began, forgoing her usual bravo. "I'm not sure how she would react, but I do know that if she doesn't like it, she'll at least be a good sport about it. However, I just get the feeling this is something she would want…" Claudine trailed off as she bit her lip briefly. She hoped it was something Maya would like because if not…
Remembering herself and her surroundings, Claudine smiled confidently. "If not, I'll make it up to her later."
Junna looked at Claudine for a moment, her face contemplative, and before Claudine could dispel the scrutiny with a quip, a grin appeared on Junna's face.
"You certainly do know Tendou-san better than any of us so I will trust your judgement."
That knowing tone that all of them so cavalierly used in her presence when mentioning the head of the 99th class was very much on full display.
Though Claudine had enough practice by now to know how to combat it.
She walked closer to Junna, arms crossed, a very smug look on her face.
"Well, you pick up more than just choreography when you have a designated dance partner." Claudine raised her brow teasingly. "You picked up a whole girlfriend."
Junna blushed at the comment as she opened and closed her mouth a few times before regaining her composure. Her and Nana had just become official a few weeks beforehand, and the joy all of them received in teasing the usually even-keeled class representative had not lessened one bit.
"That one is on me, and I know I am stepping out of line with this, but-" Junna paused, the gears turning in her head. "I just want you and Tendou-san to be happy. In whatever form that ends up being."
Claudine frowned.
"Do you not think we're happy as we are?"
"I think it matters less of what I think and more of how you feel, Saijou-san."
Leave it to Junna to be so observant, Claudine thought, but she usually wasn't so eviscerating with her assessments.
Claudine turned away from Junna, feeling as exposed as if she were a crab with no shell, and instead, looked out of the windows as the sun casted a golden glow into the classroom, ignoring the concerned gaze of Junna tracking her movements.
Was she happy with the way things were between her and Maya? No, but she felt the situation too disorientating, too delicate to do anything other than continue as they were until they were separated. She would support Maya until graduation like she had always done, and when she was alone in France, well, she would have to walk alone, wouldn't she? Without that solid, brilliant shine next to her. And those feelings between them would fizzle out so completely that there would only exist a fond memory that there had once been a spark at all.
Yeah, Claudine wasn't happy with the prospect either.
Before the silence could engulf them completely in awkwardness, Junna gently coaxed Claudine back to the matter at hand as she tapped her finger against the plans. "We are going to need Group B's help for this project."
"I figured." Claudine responded, breaking out of her stupor. "Whatever they need in return for the favor, let me know, and I'll be happy to take care of it."
"Saijou-san, you don't have to shoulder all of this on your own. I'm sure the other girls would be happy to contribute as well. We all care for Tendou-san too."
Claudine chuckled at the gentle reprimand underneath the words. Even though Nana was the official mother of the group, Junna had her moments of parental-like affection too. No wonder they made a good pair.
"You're right, Junna, but if there's anything particularly arduous, let me handle those tasks. I wouldn't want everyone overextending themselves over our competitiveness."
Junna shook her head fondly, a tiny, exasperated snicker escaping her lips.
"You and Tendou-san are so similar at times."
That perked Claudine's interest.
"You've already spoken to her about my birthday, haven't you?"
Junna's back tensed as she realized her slip up but sighed as she nodded her head.
"Just a preliminary conversation."
Méchante va, that infuriating woman was always one step ahead of her, but Claudine wasn't as irritated by the information as she thought she would be as a warmth spread across her chest and through her veins, all the way down to the tips of her fingers and toes. Maya was competing just as seriously as Claudine was this year, trying to make Claudine's birthday special too.
Claudine welcomed the challenge.
"Any details to spare, Junna?" Claudine singsong-ed as she leaned in conspiratorially, her playfulness back in full force.
Junna immediately backed away from Claudine's encroachment, her face flushing just a tad.
"Oh no, you are not dragging me further into this competition between the two of you, but I believe you will enjoy what she has planned so far."
Claudine smirked.
"I'll just have to wait to find out then."
After figuring out a few more details, they said their goodbyes, and as Claudine walked to the door, Junna called out to her. When Claudine turned, Junna gave her a proud smile.
"I'm rooting for you."
Claudine smiled in return, nodding her head in acknowledgement before leaving the classroom. She would have asked in which way Junna was referring to, but Claudine knew it was a little bit of everything.
A person in love always had the tendency to want to see everyone around them in love too.
With Maya's birthday party plans in motion, Claudine had one more task she needed to complete before the day arrived.
She needed to learn how to bake Baumkuchen.
While Claudine knew how to cook, she hardly had any experience baking, except on the rare occasions she found herself assisting either Nana or Mahiru in the kitchen. However, Claudine would not let that deter her one bit.
She knew that Baumkuchen wasn't the best choice for a novice to take on, but Claudine was determined to gift Maya her most favorite thing outside of position zero for this last birthday together. Of course, she knew she could just simply buy a Baumkuchen and call it a day, but she wanted to impress Maya with her culinary deftness, to force her to acknowledge that Claudine could be a master in creating what Maya held dear.
Though, there was another reason as well. When Claudine was younger, her mother once told Claudine about the moment she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Claudine's father.
"He made me a cake. I was taking the train to visit relatives out in the country, and he baked me a strawberry cake from scratch for the trip just because he knew I loved it so."
And ever since hearing that romantic tidbit of her parent's history, Claudine had always envisioned that she would get the urge to bake a cake for the person she ended up taking a romantic interest in.
Though she managed to suppress that inclination for the past two years, Claudine now found herself with this overwhelming desire to bake for Maya, regardless of the other girl's upcoming birthday. Perhaps, it was the nostalgia already beginning to color her view of things as graduation neared, but Claudine knew she wanted to have that memory of feeding Maya something she loved tucked within her for the future, when her thoughts drifted through those vestiges of rue.
And since Baumkuchen was the thing Maya loved most, Claudine would be more than willing to put in the effort necessary to conquer that feat.
Ah, the things she stubbornly willed herself to do for love.
Just like everyone else in her friend group, Claudine was well aware of her feelings for her dance partner, had consciously realized them after the duels though she knew they existed prior to them too. After the conclusions of the revues, as she and Maya began the process of repairing the gulf between them brick by brick, Claudine found it more imperative that they cultivate a healthier dynamic rather than parsing out her romantic feelings for Maya. Or as Kaoruko would say, "doing something about the sexual tension."
Though now that they were on more secure footing and understood the importance of the other in their goal of becoming the best stage actresses they could be, Claudine worried that they had missed their chance for something greater. They were in their third year now, barreling towards a future that would fling them to different continents in their pursuit of forging their stage careers at the highest caliber.
Would it really be worth starting anything if it would only end in parting?
Her friends had all in one way or another approached Claudine to discuss the true nature of her relationship with Maya, doling out any advice they sought fit for the occasion and wondering out loud when exactly the top two actresses would finally confess their feelings for each other.
At first, Claudine found herself both touched and deeply annoyed at their meddlesome behavior, knowing that they would never dare accost Maya with those invasive questions least they provoke her ire. Though Claudine did find it highly amusing when Mahiru offered to knock some sense into Maya with her baton if Maya was the hold up in anything progressing between the two.
She knew they meant well, and all Claudine could say to placate them was that the timing wasn't right.
Claudine herself wasn't sure if this was all around accurate, and if the potential pain of parting was the only thing keeping them apart. She knew in one way or another that the ambiguous answer was the stage and all the heady, complicated, and scary feelings that arose when the idea of eliminating the partition between her feelings for Maya and her passion for the stage came to mind. How her feelings for Maya could distract her, derail her from reaching her full brilliance on stage. Claudine Saijou was a stage girl first, and everything else had to come second. If she allowed Maya fully in…well, settling for second place was not in Maya's nature.
Sometimes, she wondered what Maya made of the situation but never dared bring it up herself, despite the near palpable tension between them whenever they were near each other. It was like an unspoken agreement between the two of them, that they could exist in this productive and harmonious rivalry only if they never acknowledged their feelings for each other. Because if that bubble were to burst, what would become of their brilliance? Who would manage to surpass them as they faltered over the shrapnel of that burst?
Claudine tried not to think about it. Instead, casting Maya in her mind as her maybe.
Her maybe in the future.
Her maybe in another life.
Her maybe if they were not as stubborn, not as passionate, not as dedicated to the stage, where it would always come first no matter what.
But for now, they were partners, rivals, friends. And though Claudine would only admit to herself that she wanted more, what they were now would have to be enough.
Besides, there was no use in fretting over situations she could not change. She needed to learn how to make a Baumkuchen after all.
While Claudine could have gone to Mahiru with the request, Claudine opted to seek out Nana's tutelage instead. It was of the utmost importance that Maya had not even a whiff of what Claudine was planning, and knowing how Hikari and Karen hung around Mahiru like stage-crazy ducklings, Claudine thought it was best to mitigate the number of people who knew about the surprise as much as possible.
Nana agreed to the request, clapping her hands together and accompanying it with her trademark Banana-grin, not that Claudine expected anything different. After some brainstorming, it was decided that the sessions would be held in the kitchen of the Group B dorms to lessen the chance of any of their friends stumbling into their lessons.
Claudine had always regarded Nana as an exceptional cook, but now she knew Nana was an exceptional teacher as well. Nana's teachings were the proper mixture of thoroughness and easy understanding, and during each step, she deftly guided Claudine through the process, from creating the batter to mastering the fickle configurations of the Baumkuchen's trademark rings.
During their last lesson together, as Claudine made the Baumkuchen that would be Maya's gift under Nana's supervision, Claudine felt confident that she would not only be able to pull off this feat but also that Maya would love what she had created.
As Claudine carefully poured batter into the hot griddle and smoothed it into thin layers to create the Baumkuchen's signature texture, Nana commented, "I've taught you all I can teach you, Kuro-chan. You should join Mahiru-chan and I in the kitchen more often."
Claudine smiled, preening under the compliment.
"Coming from you, that is high praise."
"I know Maya-chan is going to love it," Nana said knowingly before a more serious expression took over her face. Claudine continued making the layers, rolling them into their trademark rings, even if she felt her shoulders begin to tense as the silence stretched between them.
"Why the Baumkuchen?"
Claudine snorted, hoping she sounded more confident than she felt.
"Besides the fact that she's a glutton for it?"
Nana chuckled fondly as she leaned against the counter, facing Claudine head on, leaving no place for Claudine to shield herself from that piercing gaze.
"Yes, besides that fact."
Claudine thinned her lips, knowing that in no way was she going to disclose the true nature of the cake, though she was confident Nana already knew the shape of the situation but perhaps not the details.
After a moment, Claudine asked, "Why do you always cook for us?"
Nana brought her finger to her chin as she thought as her eyes sought the ceiling before a grin bloomed on her face.
"Because I like to make my friends happy, and it brings me happiness to see them enjoying the things I made for them."
"It's something like that," Claudine confessed, almost wistfully, as she removed the last layer for the cake.
Nana hummed but did not press further as she assisted Claudine with wrapping the last layer around the pastry. Once finished, Claudine carefully trimmed the edges, and as they marveled at the creation, the buttery tree ring layers swirling into infinity, a nervous energy coursed through Claudine as she imagined Maya's response. She wondered if her father felt something similar when he had baked for her mother, and if this stubborn desire to please the women they loved with cake was just a trait of a smitten Saijou.
Before Claudine could begin the process of drizzling the cake with chocolate, she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Kuro-chan, out of the two of you, you have always been the braver one."
Claudine inhaled sharply before she turned to meet Nana's gaze head on, and in that gentle look that held more maturity than something age should be capable of, the implication was made clear.
"Nana…"
Nana smiled, dismissing the warning with ease. "Just think about it."
Claudine swallowed, and before Claudine could make sense of how to retort, Nana reached for the piping bag filled with chocolate and handed it to the Parisian, with an airiness that marked the conversation as done.
After they made the final touches and tucked the Baumkuchen in the fridge for safe keeping, Claudine asked.
"Say Nana, would you mind not telling Tendou Maya that I made this cake?"
Nana frowned.
"Sure, but why?"
"I…" Claudine bit her lip. "Just want to get her honest opinion on it before she knows it's me."
Nana considered the words before she smiled.
"I understand. I won't tell Maya-chan you made it."
As they walked back to the Group A dorms, Claudine ignored how warm her cheeks felt through the entire journey and thought it was kind of Nana not to mention it.
Tomorrow was Maya's birthday, and just like previous years, Claudine did not know what to expect from the day, especially as it began to pulse with a possibility that Claudine had always regarded as impossible.
On the morning of Maya's birthday, Claudine awoke before the sun rose in the sky and snuck out of the dorms to head towards one of Seisho's black box theaters. As a premier theater school in Japan, Seisho Music Academy had multiple theaters outside of the main stage for the use of their students. After some fenagling with administration, Claudine and Junna were not only able to reserve the space, but also make temporary modifications to the theater.
As Claudine stood at the entrance, she craned her head up to inspect the beautifully constructed marquee replica that billed the day's event on one side and on the other said, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TENDOU MAYA." Her eyes lingered on the name, smiling fondly, before she entered the building.
Inside of the theater, Claudine marveled at how, once again, they were able to go above and beyond with transforming the simple, stage theater into a vintage movie theater, with golden detailed walls and red drapes hanging from the sides. Film paraphernalia highlighting Maya's expansive film tastes were plastered along the walls from Autumn Sonata to Princess Mononoke to In the Mood for Love. A concession stand stood against the far-left wall that would serve popcorn along with some of Maya's favorite snacks. Next to it was a gathering space where people would be able to mingle before and after the showing, which led to rows of seating for the audience. A simple, though sturdy stage stood at the front that Claudine knew would be well used by the time the evening was over, and above that, the crowning jewel, a large film screen that they would be watching one of Maya's favorite films on.
As Claudine stood alone in the middle of this crafted opulence, anticipation bubbled within her as she hoped that Maya would adore it. She, along with her friends, helped Group B every step of the way, with painting and hammering and moving furniture, and if Maya did not at least appreciate the effort, Claudine would strangle her.
But Claudine had a feeling Maya would like it.
Maya had once let it slip to Claudine that she had a tradition of going to the movies alone on her birthday when she could manage it. When Claudine questioned her about the tradition, Maya offered nothing more than a simple, "I find it comforting."
Claudine wondered if there was more to the story, but she didn't press. Even after all this time together, it was still rare for Maya to discuss her childhood in any capacity outside of the stage besides a comment here, a broad generalization there. Claudine could imagine how stressful it must have been living with two high-caliber performers who not only expected their only daughter to master the stage but also to one day surpass their accomplishments. That Maya-sama persona had to have been nurtured somewhere. So, Claudine did not press least Maya were to shut her out.
With that in mind, Claudine believed that Maya would perhaps enjoy forgoing her yearly solitary excursion to the cinema, and instead, experience watching a movie with all of her friends. And not just the ones at Seisho either.
Claudine had contacted Frontier, Siegfeld, and Rimenikan about the party, and it seemed all of them would be in attendance. Since the performance festival the previous year, they hadn't all been in the same space together, and though Maya might not like the encroachment on her yearly ritual, she would at least enjoy the reunion, being surrounded by people who were just as crazy about theater as she was.
Though it went against her genial nature, Claudine debated whether or not to invite Seiran since they hadn't participated in the performance festival. And yes, even she knew that was a flimsy argument. She liked the trio, truly she did, but when Claudine heard from Mahiru that during Serian's exchange last winter Maya had called Koharu her rival, directly, something Maya had never directly called Claudine, it riled her up more than she cared to admit. Even worse, she would never directly confront Maya about this, least the other girl use it as fodder for future teasing. So, her ire -slight, it was slight really- might have found its target in Koharu.
However, despite that, Claudine invited Serian, knowing Maya would appreciate having them in attendance as well.
And with Serian, the number of invited guests swelled close to thirty, something that concerned Claudine a bit. Maya might have been the greediest stage performer that she knew, but Junna was right when she assessed that Maya was reserved outside of the stage, hardly taking up the spotlight unless necessary. So, Claudine hoped being the center of attention just this once wouldn't be too awful for the head of the 99th class.
Claudine took one final look at the theater, and satisfied by what she saw, she headed back to the dorms to officially begin the day's events.
The morning went as it usually did when any of the nine of them had a birthday. The eight non-birthday girls would congregate in the common room before bursting into the birthday girl's room and waking her up with a rendition of Happy Birthday. There were usually some delays in the start time thanks to the lethargic nature of Karen and Kaoruko in the mornings, and so, when they all scrambled into Maya's room to greet her with song, Maya was not only up but had just completed a Pilates workout as well.
However, Maya still seemed pleased by the ambush, delighted even, especially when Mahiru produced a basket full of homemade donuts for all of them to share.
"Thank you everyone," Maya said in that gracious way of hers as they all sat around the floor eating their pastries. "I appreciate the well wishes, and of course, these donuts."
"Just you wait for what's to come Tendou Maya," Claudine challenged as she sat across from the birthday girl, ignoring the snickers and the rolling of eyes from the others.
When they made eye contact, Maya looked at her with this soft sort of amusement that almost disarmed her, but Claudine did not let her gaze waver for a second, even if the flutter in her stomach wanted her too.
"Saijou-san, I've been looking forward to it all year."
Under those expectations, Claudine knew she could not disappoint.
After their impromptu breakfast on Maya's floor, they dispersed to get ready for the day, and when Maya had asked what attire was preferred for the surprise, Claudine had smirked and said in that haughty way of hers, "something special." Later, when they gathered in the common room before heading to lunch, Claudine almost did a double take when Maya walked in. She was dazzling as always in her smartly, tailored outfit, but what drew Claudine's attention, that made her mouth dry and her heart race for a fraction of a second, was that Maya wore one of her bows, the red one with the golden trim.
Maya, upon noticing Claudine's fluster, raised her perfectly sculpted brow in that teasing, challenging way of hers, and Claudine hmpfed her gaze away, least she give Maya the satisfaction of witnessing her blush as well.
All nine of them headed to the park shortly after. Maya's one request for the day had been "a decadent picnic" since it would be a shame to waste such a nice summer day, though everyone knew that it was just a ruse to indulge in Nana and Mahiru's cooking in view of the swans. Nana and Mahiru did not disappoint with their menu selection for the outing, producing many of Maya's favorites to perfection, which Maya more than happily devoured to the amusement of the others and to the faux annoyance of her designated dance partner.
After they all had their fill and as it got closer to showtime, everyone left to take care of last-minute details and to greet their guests, leaving only Claudine and Maya behind.
To bide their time, Claudine and Maya stood by the edge of the pond, feeding shredded lettuce to the local ducks and the occasional swan. Maya graceful with her tossing and Claudine flamboyant with hers, as was their nature.
"So, what do you have planned?"
Claudine smirked, throwing another fistful of lettuce into the water. The birds making that happy sort of quaking sound as they swam closer to the blonde.
"Something you won't be able to top in a week."
Maya laughed, one of those rare laughs where she did not have time to condition her response, breathy with a bit of a snort. Claudine felt her chest puff out in pride just a bit.
"Your competitive spirit has always been admirable, Saijou-san."
Maya threw another handful of lettuce into the water as the birds changed their direction to nibble on her offerings instead. Claudine thought about throwing even more lettuce to get the ducks' attention again, but listening to Maya's words, she decided to curtail the impulse for once.
A silence fell upon them as they threw the last of their lettuce to the birds, and when there was none left, the ducks swam away, and Claudine and Maya continued to watch them as they glided across the water.
"Did your parents call?"
The question had been plaguing her since the morning, though she knew it best not to bring it up with the others present.
Maya stood silently as her gaze did not leave the water, the only indication she heard Claudine was the slight clench of her jaw.
"They called this morning. They're currently in Europe on some promotional tour, but they said they would take me out to dinner to celebrate when they get back into town."
Claudine bit her tongue when an epithet came to mind, but from Maya's tone, Claudine knew not to push. At least, they had the decency to call, but judging from how Maya's usually immaculate posture turned rigid, the dinner did not seem like something Maya was looking forward to.
She wondered what she could do to lessen the somber atmosphere, and when the thought came to mind, Claudine wavered, but as she reminded herself of Nana's words, she stepped closer to Maya so that their arms touched and then, rested her head on Maya's shoulder.
She felt Maya tense, and though her heart pounded in her ears, Claudine stayed put.
This wasn't something that they did. They were fond of each other sure, but outside of stage plays, they were never physically affectionate. But before too long, she felt Maya's muscles relax underneath her cheek, and then felt the gentle pressure of Maya's head laying on top of hers.
It was a nice fit.
"Maya, if you ever want to talk…"
"I know."
And in the response, Claudine could hear a glimmer of a smile.
They stood together as they watched the swans ripple the water with their feathers, and only when Claudine's phone beeped with a text from Junna that everything was ready to go, did they disentangle and head back to Seisho.
When they arrived back to campus, Claudine practically dragged Maya all the way to the black box theater, and as they stood underneath the marquee, as Claudine watched Maya read the billing with widening eyes, Claudine felt herself beginning to preen.
Maya whipped her head in Claudine's direction, her eyes shimmering as if she heard that there was a Baumkuchen in the vicinity instead.
"We're watching The Sound of Music?"
"There was no way I was going to have us watch one of those depressing high art films you love for your birthday." Claudine flicked her hair with her hand. "Besides, you mentioned once that you loved it."
Maya's eyes softened.
"I do love The Sound of Music."
They stared at each other, tiny smiles on their faces. Though remembering there were people waiting for them, Claudine broke eye contact first.
"Come on Tendou Maya, there's more."
"Pulling out all the stops for me?" Maya teased.
Claudine offered her a Cheshire grin. "Of course. How could I not?"
Before she could think too much of it, Claudine grabbed Maya's hand and led her inside the black box theater.
It was dark inside, but Claudine had trapezed the pathway enough times to memorize the route, and as soon as they arrived at the main space, the lights turned on and Claudine let go of Maya's hand.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TENDOU MAYA!"
Their friends yelled in perfect unison as they stood huddled together, their smiles and their glee and their proudly displayed party favors radiating such a brilliance that it was almost blinding.
Claudine studied Maya's reaction, and for the first time since she had known the other girl, Maya looked at a loss for words. She turned to Claudine, a bit bewildered, but Claudine gave her a squeeze on the shoulder, an encouraging smile on her lips.
"Come on birthday girl. They came here to see you."
Maya calmed at the words, and though it only lasted a second, her eyes squinted in that fond sort of way that went straight to Claudine's heart. And then, that charisma that Maya reserved for the stage manifested itself. Eyes now radiating with confidence, Maya headed towards their friends, already beginning her magnanimous spiel of thanking them for coming to her party before everyone began piling on their well wishes and their gifts onto Seisho's top student.
Claudine watched from the sidelines, finding a certain joy in observing the glee radiating off the brunette. Though she only had a few moments of tranquility before a presence made itself known.
"You might not have experience with romance, but you sure are romantic."
Claudine jolted, her face flushing as she took in the haughtiness that was Frontier's acrobatic aficionado.
"Lalafin?!"
Lalafin laughed, her trademark pigtails bouncing with the sound.
"One of the Seisho girls let it slip that you planned all of this for her. I must say Claudine," Lalafin moved her gaze around the space, "you are nothing if not meticulous. You can practically feel the love in the design."
Claudine narrowed her eyes as her face heated bright red, hating how transparent she felt and to the German girl of all people.
"Please go bother someone else, Lalafin," Claudine sneered as she left Lalafin by herself to greet her other friends, ignoring Lalafin's giggles as she did so.
After all the greetings had been made and everyone got their concessions, Junna wrangled everyone to the seating area so they could commence the film.
Claudine loitered for a moment, trying to figure out who she wanted to sit with. Well, she knew who she wanted to sit with, but she didn't want to take away Maya's time with her other friends. As she debated either sitting with Futaba and Kaoruko or perhaps, Tsukasa and Yachiyo, she felt someone watching her, and when she turned towards the middle of the seating area, she found Maya looking directly at her. Claudine lifted her brow in question and Maya nodded to the empty seat next to her, and Claudine's seating dilemma was solved in an instant by that infuriating woman, though Claudine couldn't find it in herself to complain.
The film began shortly after, the famed Alps appearing on screen as Maria sang about the hills and the music, enchanting the rambunctious group into awed silence.
As the story unfolded, Claudine had to admit that she spent less time watching the film and more time observing Maya out of the corner of her eye. Maya sang along to the songs and mouthed most of the dialogue, her hands moving to convey the emotion of each scene. Maya looked young then, younger than she ever really allowed herself to be seen as, bright and excitable, heart on her sleeve, and Claudine found herself smitten by the image. Especially whenever Maya leaned in close to disclose trivia about the film and Claudine did not have the heart to tell her that she already knew those facts.
When the film's included intermission began, everyone got up from their seats to stretch their legs and meandered over to mingle with those they had yet been able to mingle with. As the film began to start again, hardly a soul went back to watch, so it quietly played in the background as everyone continued on with their conversations. When Claudine glanced at Maya, who was speaking with Shizuha and Michiru about heaven knows what, it didn't seem like the birthday girl minded so Claudine let it be.
What began as quiet chatter rapidly turned cacophonous when one girl volunteered to perform, causing everyone to clamor towards the stage either as audience members or as performers waiting for their time to shine. Etudes and songs, one acts and monologues, and even a dance performance by the Sparks cheerleading troupe. As was expected when a group of stage crazies got together.
However, right before the rendition of Something Good came on screen, the song in the gazabo in which the Captain and Maria confessed their love for each other, Aruru and Karen began to goad Maya into performing the song followed by a chorus of agreement from the rest of the audience. Not one to disappoint, Maya made her way onto the stage and looked out into the crowd.
"I need a Maria."
Claudine felt her heart leap at the words, but she stayed rooted by the concession stands with the Yumeoji sisters, letting Maya search for her, letting Maya find her, if that was what Maya wanted.
And when they made eye contact, it felt like the Revue Duet again, and Claudine almost expected a button to be thrown her way. However, the moment was shortly lived when a hand shot up from the middle of the audience as Ichie yelled "me!" and rushed to the stage without shame. Laughter sprang up from the audience with a groan from Fumi added underneath the sound.
Maya gave Claudine an apologetic look before she broke eye contact and took on her princely persona. Maya bowed and presented her hand to Ichie before they began to sing and dance along to the song as the Captain and Maria mirrored them on screen. As she watched them glide across the stage, Claudine felt only a smidgen of rue at the missed opportunity.
Another notch of maybe to add to her list.
"I apologize on her behalf. Ichie should have known better," Fumi said, breaking Claudine from her thoughts.
Claudine frowned.
"What do you mean?"
Fumi and Shiori shared a look, and though Claudine was glad to see the Yumeoji sisters were getting along, she hated how it seemed to be at her expense.
"Well…" Fumi began, her cheeks reddening, before Shiori placed her hand on her sister's arm.
"I think what Onee-chan is trying to say is that you are Tendou-san's dance partner, and Otonashi-san should have been more aware of that."
Claudine hummed as she crossed her arms and tapped her finger against her bicep. It was one thing for all of Seisho to know about her feelings for Maya, but to have the other schools know? Having the baby of the group Shiori know? Well, it made her feel like a lovestruck fool.
Regardless, she recovered quickly as was expected of a top stage girl like herself, giving the Yumeoji sisters a smirk.
"I dance enough with her during class. Let Ichie handle her insufferable-ness for once."
Claudine's eyes flickered to Koharu then, who stood on the other side of the room, her eyes captivated by Maya's movements, and Claudine knew there were worst case scenarios of who Maya could have danced with.
A flash of pink caught her attention, and when she met Lalafin's gaze, beading with those knowing eyes, Claudine believed that there perhaps existed a woman who was almost as infuriating as Maya Tendou. Almost.
As the party raged on, Junna found her way over to Claudine after the blonde had performed an exquisite dueling scene with Akira and Rui from the operetta Carmen, to thunderous applauds if she may add.
"You were right," Junna said. "She does love it."
Claudine smiled, her eyes scanning across the room, and seeing all that they had been able to accomplish from the décor to their friends to the merry atmosphere they were able to produce, made her chest tighten with pride.
"Of course," Claudine responded as her eyes landed on Maya performing on stage with the Sparks again, the golden trim of her bow glinting under the stage light. "I know her best."
If this was the last time they would be able to celebrate Maya's birthday together, at least they went out with a bang. Though as Maya's eyes sought hers from the stage once more to gauge Claudine's assessment on the performance, Claudine conceded that perhaps it was not a bang, but a lovestruck sigh of méchante va.
After cake and a final round of Happy Birthday was sung, everyone began to disperse to their respective schools. Claudine laughed along with the other Seisho representatives as they watched Maya give everyone goodbyes, an awkwardly graceful performance of handshakes, bows, and even a hug or two, depending on whoever the person was. And on behalf of Suzu, a fist bump, which Claudine was certain Maya almost had an aneurysm trying to return.
Once they had tidied up the space enough so that the following day's clean up wouldn't be so grueling, the Seisho nine returned to their dorms for a late dinner, all of them carrying Maya's gifts through the courtyard.
"I think that was the best birthday party I've ever been to, Tendou-san!" Karen beamed even as she struggled to carry her stack without Mahiru's diligence.
"I have all of you to thank for the wonderful surprise. Truly, nothing less of spectacular."
"Oh, it was pretty much all Saijou-san. We just did the grunt work," Junna said, throwing a wink in Claudine's direction.
Claudine pursed her lips at Junna's antics, but as everyone's eyes turned to her expectantly, Claudine huffed, slipping easily into her usual role of self-appointed rival.
"It couldn't be helped. I wanted an excuse to see everyone again."
Maya looked back from the front of the pack and offered Claudine a sincere smile.
"Even so, I enjoyed it immensely. Thank you, Saijou-san."
Claudine felt her throat tighten at the words so instead of making one of her retorts, she looked away, ignoring the refined snickers from Kaoruko to her left, who carried just a single light parcel, having dumped most of her gifts on poor Futaba.
Once at the dorm, they all gathered around the common room to enjoy yet another meal from the culinary duo of Nana and Mahiru, and afterwards, each of them gave their gifts to Maya. Gifts ranging from a horror film from Futaba that Maya acted like she loved to a kitschy yellow t-shirt advertising the Tsuyuzaki potato farm from Mahiru that Maya actually loved. It had become common knowledge through their friend group that Claudine and Maya did not give gifts to each other in front of the others. So, when Claudine was the only one left yet to give her gift, no one found it strange, just another one of their hard to decipher quirks. Or, "bizarre foreplay," as Kaoruko liked to say.
After gifts, it was show time.
Claudine had been able to block this moment for most of the day, but when Nana came out of the kitchen with two Baumkuchens, one with candles and the other without, her heart began its crescendo as it beat against her chest, just like it did all those years ago when she first stepped on stage as Allie.
"Maya-chan, this one is all yours," Nana said as she placed Claudine's chocolate Baumkuchen in front of Maya.
Maya's eyes widen as she realized that she would have the whole cake to herself, the glee on her face borderline delirious.
"Well, let's get on with it then," Maya encouraged impatiently, and after one final round of Happy Birthday for the day, Maya blew out her candles to the applause and cheers of the others.
Nana began cutting out slices, beginning with a generous portion placed on Maya's plate. Claudine did not know how Maya could control herself from devouring the cake with her bare hands with how her body buzzed with excitement, but Maya grabbed her fork with a controlled poise as she scooped a piece of Baumkuchen into her mouth.
Claudine sat unmoving as she studied Maya for her reaction. Ever the Baumkuchen connoisseur, Maya closed her eyes as she chewed, appraising the flavor profile, giving no indication one way or another to what she thought, and though this was a common practice for the birthday girl, Claudine couldn't help but feel that Maya was toying with her just a bit.
When Maya opened her eyes, she beamed with disbelief, and Claudine released a tiny breath as she etched the child-like delight on Maya's face into memory, smiling with adoration despite herself.
"Daiba-san, I do believe you have topped yourself with this one," Maya praised, her voice reverent. "It's exquisite. One of the best I've had."
"It wasn't me who made it," Nana replied with a teasing lit as she continued doling out slices to the group. "I got it from somewhere else."
In her accomplished career as an actress, Claudine had never missed a cue, and though this was the perfect opportunity to claim her handiwork, to see the stupefied expression on Maya's face as Claudine revealed that it was her and not Nana or Mahiru or some grand Baumkuchen meister in a bakery that baked that Baumkuchen, Claudine held back.
"You have to give me the name of the place," Maya quickly said between bites, as if any moment she wasn't eating was wasted time.
"Of course," Nana replied lightly as she handed a slice to Claudine, her eyes so warm and encouraging that Claudine could practically hear you can do it Kuro-chan, but Claudine made no moves to speak as she took the offered plate. And Nana continued on without missing a beat, "I'll tell you later, Maya-chan."
And that was that.
Claudine ate her slice as conversation flitted around her, and though Claudine participated when needed with her special brand of Saijou flare, she paid the most attention to the sounds of delight Maya made as she devoured her cake, a tiny smile forming on her lips each time.
She glanced at Nana and Junna as they sat across from her, their hands interlaced between them on the table as they engaged in a private conversation that had Nana giggling with delight as Junna looked at her fondly. Like a couple of lovebirds, Claudine thought, and though her heart panged with the slightest bit of envy at her friends' happiness, Claudine refrained from teasing them as was the course, allowing them to continue in their bubble of two uninterrupted.
Returning to the conversation at hand, Claudine was in the middle of a discussion with Hikari about the superiority of French cinema to British cinema, when she felt a nudge on her arm. Turning, she noticed the mischievous look in Maya's eyes before registering the fork full of Baumkuchen offered before her.
"Would you like to try?"
"I can feed myself," Claudine scoffed as she reached for the fork, wanting to at least have a taste of what she had spent hours creating, but Maya was quicker, shifting the fork away from the blonde's grasp.
"Please don't sulk on my birthday. I just want to share this with you."
Claudine narrowed her eyes at the faux sincerity in the tone. Honestly, if Maya wanted to retain her status at position zero, she needed to work on her teasing, but Maya kept waiting, with those amused, patient eyes, and that damn fork hovering just so.
"If Kuro-chan doesn't want it, I'll take it," Karen offered brightly, before Mahiru covered her mouth. Claudine looked around her, and it seemed that everyone was watching her in anticipation, with Futaba already having covered Kaoruko's mouth as well.
"Saijou-san?" Maya questioned.
Claudine internally groaned before acquiescing with a tiny nod. Maya grinned brightly as she brought the fork to Claudine's mouth, and as Claudine took the bite, she heard a snap of the camera.
She whipped her head in the direction of the sound, finding a mischievous Banana-grin instead.
"Daiba Nana, you delete that photo from your phone right now," Claudine threatened through a mouthful of cake.
"Sorry Kuro-chan," Nana clapped her hands together. "I don't think I can do that. It's going in this year's scrapbook."
And then, everyone laughed at her miffed expression, her cheeks still puffed with pastry, including Maya with that rare laugh of hers, breathy with a bit of a snort, and Claudine's annoyance with the situation dwindled.
As she chewed on her Baumkuchen, Claudine had to admit that it was a pretty good cake if she did say so herself.
As the night began winding down, they all got ready for bed. It had been an exhausting day for all of them, with each one declaring in some form or fashion that they would pass out as soon as the pillow touched their faces, with some of them doing so beforehand as Karen had fallen asleep on top of her slice of cake, much to the amusement of the others.
After the dorm faculty member checked them in for the evening, Claudine waited the appropriate amount of time before she left her room and tiptoed her way over to Maya's. While her gift to Maya had technically been the Baumkuchen, Claudine had another ace up her sleeve. She didn't want Maya to think that Claudine hadn't given her a proper gift. Though knowing the brunette, Claudine knew that Maya would say that Claudine had already done more than enough for the day, but Claudine was nothing if not meticulous.
When Claudine gave her usual knock on the door, she heard no response. Strange. Even if Maya had passed out from the day's events, she was always conscious enough to at least grumble out a response.
She knew that she was imposing, but Claudine opened the door just a fraction and whispered, "Maya," only to receive no answer once again.
Claudine frowned as she wondered where the other girl could have gone too. Maybe Maya went to one of the other girls' rooms, but taking a glance down the hallway, Claudine saw no light coming out from underneath any of the doors. Knowing that Maya wouldn't leave the dorm and that the rooftop was locked during the evening, Claudine went to the bathroom only to find the lights turned off as well. So, Claudine went to the only other place she knew where to look.
The common room.
When she reached her destination, Claudine paused at the entrance as she saw Maya sitting on one of the barstools along the wall, the curtains on the windows pulled back to show the night sky.
She watched Maya unabashedly, as the other girl took a sip from a teacup, unaware of Claudine's presence. Maya had always been beautiful, but it struck her in that moment, as her lips ached to press themselves against Maya's skin, glowing underneath the stars' twinkle. But Claudine suppressed the urge as she took note of the pensive air emanating from the head of the 99th class.
Maya had seemed fine throughout the day, besides the brief conversation about her parents, but perhaps, something had happened between dinner and now. Or, Claudine worried, Maya had been faking it for the entire day. If that were the case, Claudine would never forgive herself for not picking up on it sooner, though she reminded herself that even the great Maya Tendou wasn't as phenomenal of an actress to pull off such a performance for the entire day. Though she would never dare tell her that.
Claudine bit her lip, debating if she should intrude or if she should allow Maya to continue existing undisturbed, before making her decision. She was never one to allow Maya to rest on her laurels.
"So, that's where you are," Claudine called out as she breezily entered the room. "I thought you had passed out from exhaustion."
"Saijou-san," Maya greeted, offering Claudine a sleepy smile, the pensiveness dissipating just a bit. "I'm just enjoying the last few moments of my birthday. Would you care to join me?"
The invitation seemed sincere, so Claudine made her way over to the barstool next to Maya.
"Since it's your birthday, how could I not?" she teased as she sat down.
Maya reached into the serving tray between them and produced an unused teacup and began pouring tea into it before handing the teacup to Claudine. In that moment, as their fingers brushed with the transfer, Claudine realized that Maya had been expecting her all along. It touched something soft within her, and that long ago acceptance of maybe began to waver.
Claudine was the first one to break the silence.
"Everything okay?"
"Yes," Maya reassured. "I was born a little after one AM, so every year I try to stay up until that time to see my birthday off. Tonight, however, I was having trouble staying awake in my room so I thought tea and a change of location might do me some good."
Claudine hummed, taking in the information, before grinning.
"How about we see it off with some leftover Baumkuchen as well?"
A sheepish looked appeared on Maya's face.
"I already finished mine."
"You are such a glutton," Claudine chastised fondly. "I'm sure the other girls won't mind if we finish off the other one."
Maya beamed.
Claudine went into the kitchen to grab the last slice of Baumkuchen along with two forks, and in the back of her mind, she could hear Lalafin's teasing laugh, calling her a romantic despite her lack of experience with romance.
When Claudine returned with the cake, Maya laughed out a "bon appétit" before digging into the Baumkuchen with Claudine rolling her eyes and following suit seconds later.
They shared light remarks as they ate, about seeing their friends from the other schools and which performances they found most amusing during the impromptu showcase, and when there was a lull in the conversation, Claudine asked the one question that had been weighing on her mind.
"Did you really enjoy the party?" Her voice coming out more vulnerable than she anticipated.
Maya looked over before gently setting her fork down, a soft smile tugging at her lips.
"I did. Though at first, when I saw everyone in the theater, I thought it was going to be something I would have to grit my teeth through, but it was quite fun." A wistful lit touching her voice. "I'll treasure the memory always."
Claudine released a breath she did not know she was holding, her shoulders releasing a tension she did not know they held.
"That's good to hear. I know you like to go to the movies alone on your birthday so I'm glad it wasn't a horrid deviation from your original plans."
"You know," Maya began, her voice softer than usual. "Growing up, my parents would throw me a birthday party each year, and though they were nice, lavish affairs, it always felt more of an excuse for them to schmooze with their invited colleagues rather than about me. I didn't really have any friends back then, acquaintances sure, but I already had it in my head that I would be top star and so I just accepted that that would be part of the deal. So, those parties always felt isolating. I would often sneak off from them and go into our home theater to watch a movie instead. It was comforting to me, to be transported to those other worlds, even if it was rare that anyone would notice I was gone before the cutting of the cake. And so, I kept up the tradition at Seisho."
Maya paused, her face devoid of any trace of that perfected stage genius persona, and for once, she looked her age, exposing cracks that tenderness had yet to fill, delicate and soft with the memory of bruising not too far away.
A wave of protectiveness washed over Claudine as she reached over and placed her hand on top of Maya's hand, squeezing gently in encouragement.
Maya smiled at their joined hands before continuing.
"Tonight, I realized how much I've changed since I started Seisho. If you had told me back then that I would have a birthday party with people who were genuinely wanting to see me, to support me, who I consider my friends, I would have found the whole notion preposterous."
"Maya…" Claudine whispered, a gambit of emotions cycling through her at the new influx of information. "We care about you so of course we wanted to celebrate you on your special day. I'm sorry that happened to you in the past, but the nice thing about living is that we still have the chance to create good memories."
Maya hummed as her thumb began to caress the skin on Claudine's hand, regarding Claudine almost shyly.
"And it was thanks to you."
The blush began at her chest and spread through every inch of her skin, and though Claudine knew she matched the color of her nightgown, she tried to hide how the comment affected her so.
"It was nothing," Claudine brushed off, her prickliness on display though incredibly dulled. "All I had to do was call a few people and make some bargains here and there. It wasn't anything major. Truly."
"It was, Claudine, and I don't mean just the party tonight, but also," Maya hesitated as she sought to find the proper words. "For helping me get to this place. When we first started Seisho together, you were never intimidated by me, always treating me as an equal instead of Maya-sama, and because of that, we were able to eventually become friends, and by proximity, I was able to make friends with the others as well."
The moonlight had a tendency to make people more honest, Claudine thought. If Maya was going to be honest with her, then perhaps, Claudine could return the sentiment as well.
"It wasn't all just me, Maya. You had to make an effort as well. You know I've always admired your talents, but you've always had that insufferable wall of perfection around you as if you were already on top of the revue staircase, looking down at the rest of us. But you've softened, Tendou Maya. You've allowed us to see past the wall. Not always, but the glimpses are enough for now."
"Claudine…"
"I'm proud of you, Maya."
Maya blinked in surprise before she suddenly turned away from Claudine's gaze, and though Claudine could have convinced herself that it was not tears she saw in Maya's eyes if that was what the other girl wanted, the quiet sniffles gave the brunette away.
Gently, Claudine placed her free hand on Maya's chin and coaxed the girl to look at her, with Maya putting up only a bit of resistance.
"Oh, come now." Claudine fussed as she wiped the stray tears from Maya's cheek. "You've seen me cry before. You could at least give me the courtesy of showing me some vulnerability befitting of your age."
Once Maya calmed, Claudine held Maya's cheek, not that the other girl seemed to mind, and perhaps, the reason they had never been affectionate in the past stemmed from the knowledge that it would be difficult to rebuild the dam once it had been broken. Her fingertips relished in the warmth of Maya's cheek, but Claudine knew this could not last much longer, so she pulled her hand away, and the coldness that followed immediate.
"You are very surprising, Saijou-san," Maya professed, a grateful smile on her face. "And very sweet too."
Claudine scoffed, though without the usual bite but with the usual blush.
"Don't get used to it. Apparently, I can stand an insufferable Tendou Maya more than a mopey one."
Maya chuckled, with Claudine soon following after, and in the darkness of the common room, the mood lightened considerably.
"Before I forget, I got you something."
Maya looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"Saijou-san, you've done more than enough for me today. Your competitive spirit is bordering on overkill."
Claudine rolled her eyes at the jab, as if Maya was one to talk about excessiveness, but Claudine continued on undaunted.
"It isn't anything tangible, but I wanted to extend an open invitation to visit me in Paris in the future. We can figure out the details later, but I want to show you the city. There's a park by my house that has swans that I think you would like too and-" Claudine paused as she found herself beginning to ramble. She took a breath to steady herself, her hand gripping her teacup just so. "And because I don't want us to drift apart after graduation. I want us to still be in each other's lives."
"We will be," Maya said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "We will forever be rivals."
She said it. She finally said it. And Claudine felt tears sting at the corner of her eyes, but they did not spill. She took a sip of her tea to gather her bearings, and when she felt steady enough, she repeated, "yes, rivals," the words settling on her tongue like a vow. "We've been rivals since the beginning, haven't we?"
"Even before you were aware of me, Saijou-san."
And Lalafin called Claudine the romantic one.
Claudine looked down at their hands, still joined after all this time, and her mind flashed to the image of Junna and Nana from earlier in the evening. How were they able to make the leap? It felt like she and Maya hovered at the cusp, convincing themselves that the height would propel them closer to the stars, to utmost brilliance. But they could have both, couldn't they? The stage and each other. Wasn't that what Nana was trying to tell her?
"Méchante va," Claudine chided fondly as she played with Maya's fingers and for once, Claudine wasn't sure if she meant it for Maya or for herself.
Before long, a yawn escaped Maya's lips, and as Claudine felt her own drowsiness take hold, she asked how much time was left.
Maya glanced at the clock before answering, "About ten minutes."
"Anything you want to do until then?"
Maya raised her eyebrow at the question, but thinking better of it, she schooled her features to a more neutral expression, and Claudine wondered what at been the original thought. However, she did not have much time to contemplate that before Maya responded.
"Just stay how we are now. You already gave the last bite of the Baumkuchen."
"Just like we are now?" Claudine asked softly, squeezing Maya's hand for added emphasis. Claudine knew she was overstepping their unspoken agreement, but she held on to the fact that Maya did not move her hand away from Claudine's grasp.
"Claudine…" Maya whispered in warning, her voice strained.
Maya avoided Claudine's eyes, and in that moment, Claudine understood what had been holding them back all this time.
Maya wasn't ready.
And perhaps, she would never be ready, and the thought overwhelmed Claudine as she clenched her jaw and studied Maya's profile in the moonlight, that brave face that held such a tender inside.
Her beautiful, fierce Maya was scared. Of what, Claudine couldn't say, but she knew the other girl loved her and was denying herself that love. Maybe it was because of the stage and maybe it was because of a childhood that Claudine only knew specs of, or something else entirely, but whatever it was, Maya wouldn't be able to take the plunge. At least not now.
Maybe not ever.
And before Claudine could fight the impulse, she sprang from her seat and wrapped her arms around Maya's shoulders, burying her face into Maya's neck. She felt Maya flinched underneath her, but Claudine held on, and before long, Maya followed suit, wrapping her arms around Claudine's waist, her head settling on top of Claudine's just like earlier.
It was still a nice fit.
Neither one of them spoke. Claudine didn't know what to say, and she knew Maya would never ask. And this unspoken thing could still exist between them. But only if they stayed as they were. Claudine didn't dare push for anything more least she push Maya completely away.
Claudine tried not to think about the situation anymore, and instead chose to savor Maya's warmth, the way their bodies almost melded together. She could not recall the last time they had hugged outside of a stage play, if they had ever hugged at all, and knowing this would not be happening again in the near future, Claudine held on as tightly as she could. Another memory to tuck away for future examinations of rue.
The night was so silent, so still, that the entire world could have vanished from existence, and neither of them would have noticed.
But silence was always meant to be broken.
"My birthday is over."
And with that announcement, they disentangled from each other. As they stood, an awkwardness colored their movements, but despite it, Claudine soldiered on, quietly asking.
"Was it a good birthday?"
Maya gave her a sincere smile.
"It was a good one."
Soon after, they washed and put away their dishes before heading back to their rooms. As they walked through the darkened hallway, so close their fingers would brush against each other, Claudine wondered how many more times she would be able to walk side-by-side with Maya until graduation. Wondered how many more times she would be this close to Maya and hunger for something more. Wondered how many more times they would deny themselves the chance to hold each other's hand when Claudine knew that was all they wanted to do.
With each step, the impossibility that resided in the back of her mind grew and grew, and as they stood together in the space between their rooms, as the stars outside the window twinkled on, Claudine knew what she had to do.
She was not one to settle. She was not one to cower.
She would no longer be hostage to her imposed martyrdom of maybe.
She would force Maya to look at her. If Maya refuted her then that would be that. She loved this woman before her, would always love her in one way or another. And if things were to implode, then things would implode. The hallmark of stage girls was their ability to reinvent. So, if things between them changed, Claudine would simply begin anew, patching her heart as best she could and carrying on.
Happiness did not lie in cowardice.
Taking a breath, she knew it was time.
She reached over and grabbed Maya's hand within hers, lightly playing with Maya's fingertips.
"Claudine…" Maya pleaded, even as she made no movements to escape Claudine's grasp.
Claudine drunk in Maya's features, the beautiful curve of her jaw, the regality of her brow, the way it was chiseled into Claudine's imagined perfection.
"We've picked a hard life," Claudine began softly. "The stage can be brutal, a constant battle to surpass our pass selves, forever striving to create the best stage imaginable. And through that noble endeavor, we deserve a bit of happiness too, and I wanted to give you a bit of that happiness today."
"You did," Maya confirmed through the clench of her jaw.
"And if I'm being honest," Claudine chuckled to herself. "Most days too."
Maya exhaled sharply, as if stricken.
"All of today… it wasn't just the competition, was it?"
Claudine couldn't make out the tone, but as Nana said, she had always been the braver of the two. And so, she did what she did best, she risked it all for her perfect stage, one without a partition separating her two great loves.
"Maya, you know that I love you. The whole day has been a love letter to you. Just," Claudine smiled softly, "without the stationary."
A myriad of emotions played on Maya's face, a film reel of what-ifs spinning as quickly as it was charring, and though Claudine could see the anguish in her eyes, it needed to be done. For both of their sakes.
Maya pulled away her hand from Claudine's grasp.
Claudine steeled her shoulders, and when Maya opened her mouth to speak, Claudine stepped closer and placed her finger on Maya's lips.
"Give me your response in a week. For my birthday."
Maya thinned her lips as she searched Claudine's eyes. Claudine wasn't sure what Maya was looking for, but if Claudine was going to be brave, she needed Maya to be brave too.
"If it's not what you want?"
Claudine hummed as she brought her hand back to her side. After a moment, she shrugged her shoulders, feeling surprisingly light.
"Then it's not. I won't hate you, Maya, and I doubt things would change much between us. I'll just finally know. I don't want to go through life thinking of you as my maybe anymore." And before she could talk herself out of it, Claudine leaned in closer to the taller girl and placed a kiss on her cheek, allowing her lips to linger, "Bon Anniversaire, ma Maya."
And with that, Claudine turned to head to her room, the adrenaline still pumping wildly through her body.
The situation was out of her hands now, but at least, she had forced them to make a decision and not have to exist in this agonizing limbo of what ifs and maybes any longer.
As her hand settled on the doorknob, Claudine turned and gave one final look to Maya, who stood watching her with an unreadable expression, her hand tracing the kissed cheek.
"Let's see if you can beat me this year," Claudine challenged.
Maya furrowed her brows before it clicked. She gave Claudine a tight smile, her princely air out in full force, dimmed and wobbly but still there.
"I hope not to disappoint."
"You better not," Claudine threw over her shoulder before she opened her door and went into her room, feeling a euphoria she had not felt since she had finished her first performance of Allie.
As soon as she closed the door, Claudine leaned against it as she waited to hear Maya's retreating footsteps, her hand clutching at her nightgown to steady her beating heart.
Claudine might have been powerless to change the date of their births all those years ago, but she was no longer a little girl waiting on an empty stage for someone else to turn on the lights. She was older now, and she would no longer cower underneath the ambiguous pressure of the unknown. If she were to burn on stage for this act of hubris, then let her burn, but she had faith in Maya. She would always have faith in Maya to join her on that stage, her designated dance partner, and perhaps, Maya would accept that this was her time to take her cue.
Once she heard the tell-tale signs of Maya's retreat, Claudine went to her bed, and as she laid underneath the covers, with Something Good's lyrics of nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could playing in her mind, Claudine began to theorize what Maya's response would be in a week, and a certain glee found her when she realized that Maya was going to be a right mess as she tried to parse through her emotions for her response.
Claudine had done the hard part for both of them. Now it was Maya's turn to take the leap. Off the cusp and into the unknown along with her. And if fear would hold Maya back from the fall, well, Claudine would deal with the impact when that happened. And get herself back up, again and again, as was her nature.
As Claudine drifted off to sleep, the day's events finally taking their toll, Claudine looked forward to seeing Maya's response on her birthday, and for the first time ever, she hoped that Maya would surpass her expectations and beat her once again.
Well, at least in terms of gift giving.
FIN
This piece was so much fun to write, even if it was such a pain at times. I have a tendency to indulge on things I want to see included, which is fine for the most part, but I got a little carried away with this during the editing process. As is wont to happen. Apologies for any errors. I tried my best.
Also, I have a piece in the upcoming 'Snapshots: A Nana Daiba Zine' so make sure to check that out if you are at all interested!
And as always, thank you for reading and let me know what you think!