The silvery eyes in the stranger's head turned down to look at the blade, then crossed, then jumped out of his head and sprouted tiny white legs with black, pointy boots. Those eyes did wiggle and jiggle and clackity - clack.

Then some music began to play /ubImuaUbcpU , and old Ned Stark's corpse got up and began to wiggle and jiggle and clackity clack.

The ugly blonde man whose eyes stunk of incest lowered his gleaming sword with a golden hilt in the shape of a lion's mane and adorable little kitty face.

"What the fu-"

"Tut tut, watch your language Kingslayer," the stranger said, oddly enough, with his empty eye sockets rather than her mustache-framed mouth.

Suddenly two little boys with long, fluffy beards kicked the door down, followed by an army of soldiers in armor, concealed by t-shirts that said 'I ️ sasausges and apples'.

"Enough chatter! Enough bamboozelry! I'm here-"

"Me too!"

"To battle!"

Robb and Arry Stark hoisted their respective beards and ripped off their pants and unsheathed their swords.

"They have swords tied to their underwear!" Bronn the mercenary with long, luscious locks in all the colors of the rainbow falling from his head shouted. Literally. His hair fell out.

"Under there?" Tyrion, a short and devilishly handsome man with whitish blond hair, a wiry beard , and eyes that were mismatched, one black and one that changed colors constantly.

Jaime turned to Cersei and sang out:

"I wanna be your lover

I wanna be the only one that makes you come

Running

I wanna be your lover

I wanna turn you on, turn you out, all night long, make you shout

Oh, lover

Yeah

I wanna be the only one you come for

I wanna be your brother

I wanna be your mother" Tywin slapped him across the face for that "and your sister, too"

"That's disgusting!" Robb Stark screamed as he threw his sword at Jaime. It impaled him through the hair, slaying him instantly as blood spurted from his newly severed locks. His last words were: "Yo yo yo, I'm the freshest mc in town" which made no sense, since he was not a rapper, but has incense since he had some sense, and a few cents.

The rest of the kings arrived and their armies too. Renly and his lover Ser Loras made out as their legion of rainbow minions barfed unicorns all over King Jauffrey, who slowly died as his intestines were ripped out. The intestines were actually yellow napkins names Fred.

As the narrative unraveled, so too did Lord Stark's flesh, then it connected his head back to his body, and he whipped his long hippie hair around as a blindingly white pantsuit materialized on his body and he had pointy black tap shoes.

"Girl," he shouted, pointing at Cersei Lannister, "ever since I laid eyes on you, I saw that you were the finest chick in town."

He then broke into song:

/q-WMXTCvYeo

When he got to the lyric about screaming at each other, Cersei shouted back:

"Because I secretly love you too, and was ashamed to say it!"

Cersei leaped to embrace her love, but unfortunately she landed on the raised sword of someone fighting, impaled herself, and-

Oo look a rabbit!

Where was I? Oh, right.

Ned cried out and peed in rage all over the crowd of warriors.

"This is crazy!" Tyrion shouted as he fell to his knees in front of a woman with hair, legs, eyes, feet, arms, toes, toenails, a pinky toenail that was slowly turning into a pug, and said: "Shae, my sweet love, will you marry me?"

"No," Shae said, "because I know you're secretly gay."

"True," Tyrion said as he embraced his true love, the eunuch Varys.

Suddenly Prince and Frank Zappa appeared, and sang, and everyone stopped fighting, watched them, and put their socks on their hands. /Lvo22lwgRIw

Danaerys flew in while being carried by three dragons holding on to her dress, and she vomited lava all over the world. Everyone partied like it was /UWC4X_rTRsA