Kid's Jacket

A quiet night, starry, slight breeze, cigar, a whiskey and a good rocking chair. Great way to spend the evening after a perfect run on the Union Pacific. The Gang was happy with the split and Heyes could hear the laughter from the bunkhouse.

He smiled as he recalled the look of resignation on the face of the conductor. The passengers were the usual mix of business types, families, cowboys uncomfortable traveling without a horse under them, bachelors, spinsters and one or two very attractive young ladies. They had followed instructions and there were no problems with anyone. A good thing too, cuz Kid wasn't in the best shape and it usually fell to him to maintain order and make sure no one got hurt or tried to play the hero. He hadn't mentioned that he was starting to feel the beginnings of the cough, lung congestion that seemed to come on him on a regular but unpredictable basis. I was too involved making sure I had covered every detail of the job that I didn't notice the stifled cough, the uncharacteristic leftovers on the plate and the tired look, which I should have seen. But he's basically okay, sleeping and so far, no fever. So overall, a successful job. Time to enjoy the spoils and take a break from planning for a bit. Just enjoy the peace and…

"Heyes"….."Heyes"

"Kyle?"

"How's Kid?"

"He's good, just resting, should be fine in a day or two."

"That's good Heyes, that's good."

"Kyle?"

"What?"

"Is there something else on your mind?"

"Well, the boys were just playing a couple of hands of poker and it just came up."

"It?"

"Yeah, it just came up – not sure how – but we got to talking about it."

"It?"

"Yeah and the boys said maybe we should just ask about it."

"Kyle, WHAT IS IT!"

"No need to get proddy Heyes. You know - the jacket."

"The jacket?"

"Yeah, Kid's jacket."

"The subject under discussion by a group of outlaws in the middle of a poker game is Kid's jacket?"

"Well yeah, Heyes. Don't you think we talk about stuff?"

Taking a deep breath …"No Kyle sorry you're right. So, what about Kid's jacket?"

"Why does he wear it?"

"Why does he wear his jacket? What kind of question is that? Why does anyone wear a jacket?"

"Well, Heyes, most folks wear a jacket cuz they're cold. Kid wears that sheep jacket when it's hot as Hades."

"He doesn't wear it all the time (why am I defending this to Kyle….)?"

"Maybe not but most of the time so the boys were just wondering…"

"Well, Kyle…"

"Wheat says it's one of those things you don't do…something that makes you stand out…easy to identify. Wheat says…."

"KYLE! Kid wears his jacket when he wants to wear his jacket. If his jacket ever shows up on a wanted poster, we'll have the discussion…."

"Ok. Heyes...Ok…."

"Anything more Kyle?'

"No…no..."

"Tell Wheat to come himself next time."

"Right. Okay. Glad Kid is doing okay."

The jacket…never thought any of those boys would notice…or maybe I just have hoped they wouldn't….

-ASJ-ASJ-ASJ-ASJ-ASJ-ASJ-ASJ-ASJ-ASJ-

"Boys, come get your lunch."

"Thanks, Gramma."

"Remember now, tonight is Grandpa Curry's birthday so after you've done your fishing and swimming come back here. Your Ma and Pa will already be here Han and we're gonna have a grand party!"

"How old is Grandpa?"

"He's 79, God Bless him."

"79 – wow, that's old."

"Come on Jed, it's not that old…"

"Han, 79 isn't old? I think it's pretty old."

"Okay, machulsha, let's just be glad that we're celebrating a birthday! Have fun today but don't be too late."

"Han, how much older is Grandpa than me."

"Well, remember your numbers – how much is left if you take 9 from 79?"

"Come on Han, we're not in school – just tell me."

Han shook his head, laughing, "Ok, ok, if you take 9 from 79 you get 70. Grandpa is 70 years older than you and if you take 11 from 79, he's 68 years older than me."

"Like I said before, that's kinda old."

"Well yeah, I guess."

"Does that mean he'll die soon?"

"Come on Jed, Grandpa isn't going to die soon. Why do you get such stuff in your head?"

"I don't know…You remember when Jacob's grandpa died, and everyone was so sad? I don't want that to happen."

"Jed, Grandpa isn't dying soon, he isn't even sick. You should be thinking about all the fish that you let get away today…My line is almost full..."

"Yeah well…that's ok…I'm going swimming!"

We spent the rest of the day swimming and complaining that school would be starting soon. Well I complained to keep Jed company, but I was anxious for school. I liked learning and liked our teacher, Miss Carlin. Heard she might not be our teacher though, was going back East. Hope if that's true we get one as good as she is…

So, we dried off and gathered the fish and started for Jed's farm…

This is where memory becomes pain and I try to avoid it as much as possible….

The closer we got to the farm, the stronger the smell became. Smoke, but not just the smell of fire smoke. It was a strange smell - harsh and heavy and I was frightened. I looked at my cousin and he was scared too. We began to run….and then we stopped…

Closing my eyes, I see it all again. The smoldering flame, the billowing smoke, the…. the bodies. I ran screaming for my Ma and Pa…Screaming… and they didn't answer. I stood by their lifeless bodies. My Pa laying over my Ma trying to protect her…and then I fell to the ground sobbing.

I'm not sure how long I cried but suddenly remembered Jed. Where was he? I didn't hear anything except the pounding in my chest. I needed to find him.

I tried to avoid looking at the bodies of my grandparents as I searched between the house and barn and my pain was starting to turn into anger. Finally, I saw him, standing by his Ma holding her hand and shaking.

"Jed"

No answer.

"JED!"

Again, no answer. I went over to him and he turned and looked at me with an expression I still can't describe.

"Jed"

"It's so cold Han. Why is it so cold?" He was shivering and he couldn't stop, still holding onto his Ma's hand. I didn't know what to do…my anger was now turning into helplessness.

Then I heard horses and voices. Neighbors were coming. We were taken to Doc Delehanty. Jed did not say a word and kept holding on to my shirt. Miss Carlin came into the office and said she would look after us. We went to her house and she warmed milk for us to drink. I took a few sips; Jed didn't drink anything. He didn't say anything either just kept holding on to my shirt. She made up a bed for us in the front room and said to lie down and try to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw…until finally I fell asleep. Jed was still holding on to my shirt.

The next morning, I woke up first. I heard Miss Carlin in the kitchen and went in to thank her for letting us stay. She gave me a hug and said she was making breakfast and then we heard Jed yelling for me. I ran to the front room; he saw me and grabbed my shirt again. I didn't know what to do. Miss Carlin told Jed to come to get some breakfast. After we ate, she asked if we would go with her to the schoolhouse to help her continue to get it ready for the new year.. She told us then that there would be a new teacher starting. I was sad she would be gone but figured the new teacher would be okay. We stayed at the schoolhouse till suppertime. We sat outside for a while, till the sun went down and then she said it was time for bed. I woke up first again and the same thing happened with Jed. He started yelling for me. We went to him and he grabbed my shirt again. I didn't know what to do. Miss Carlin looked at Jed and then at me and said, "Jed would you help me and get some wood for the stove?"

Jed looked at me as if he feared this was trick.

"It's okay Jed, go get the wood. "I'll be here, I promise."

"After he left, Miss Carlin asked me, "Han, has Jed talked about what happened to your families?"

"No, he hasn't talked about it at all."

"Has he cried at all?"

"No, I don't know why. He still shivers a lot, so I get him a blanket or something and he kinda calms down, but he never talks about it – he hardly talks at all."

"I see, well we'll have to make sure he feels warm then, won't we? Han, your life has changed. You are an intelligent, sensitive young man and I know you will be fine eventually. You'll never get over losing your family in such a horrible way, but I have every faith you will be fine. Do you believe me?"

I really didn't believe her but nodded my head because I didn't know what else to do…

"I worry about Jed though, she said."

"Don't Miss Carlin, I'll take care of him, I'll make sure he's okay!"

"I know you will Han, it just makes me sad that you have to."

We heard the door open and Jed came in carrying an arm full of wood. He dropped them in the shuttle and then came back to stand next to me. Miss Carlin looked at us with a sad expression on her face and I think she was close to crying.

A message came from Doc saying that he wanted to see us. We went to the office. Doc checked us over and then told us to wait in the outer room while they talked.

"Kathryn, I'm concerned about both boys but Jed seems to be particularly traumatized."

"I know. Han told me that he hasn't cried. He barely talks. Barely eats anything. He also clings to Han's shirt as if he is afraid he is going to lose him. Han tells me that he shivers with cold."

" Umm, well considering the circumstances and his age it's not all that surprising. What is surprising to me is the fact that Han seems to be dealing with all this at a remarkably mature level for his age."

"Han is rather mature. You know he is an only child. I've found that a child whose main relationship is with his parents, no siblings, does seem to mature at an early age and he certainly is taking care of his cousin as best he can."

"Well, that's true but I hope Han isn't suppressing his own grief by concentrating on Jed, which would not be good."

"Han has grieved, and he will often tear up. We have had some conversations about what happened, and he does express his grief – and his anger- so I don't think he is denying what happened or what he feels."

"Good. Well, let's see what we can do to get these boys to a place where they will be taken care of. Jed's shivering is likely a response to the loss of the warmth and security of his family and the fear of losing his cousin. Keeping him physically warm might help with the emotional coldness he is feeling. Let's get him something that will keep him warm and then concentrate on getting them settled."

"I feel so guilty Dan. If only I hadn't decided to return to Boston, I would stay and see them through this."

"You can't put your life on hold. We will work something out."

Two days later Miss Carlin called us in from the yard. "Boys, we're going to see Doc again, he has some news."

We waited in the Doc's office. Miss Carlin told us that she was sure it was good news for us. I wasn't as sure…

"Hello boys." Doc said as he smiled and ruffled Jed's hair. "This has been a very hard time and everyone in town has been interested in seeing that things work out for you. Your families were well-liked, and they will truly be missed. I want you to know that they will also be remembered. Han, Jed, there is a place, an orphanage, we are going to take you to. It's a home for boys and you will be schooled and learn a trade. I'm sorry we couldn't find anything closer, but I know you'll do well, and you will be together."

He looked at us, I think waiting for some sort of reaction. I had none.

We left the office and walked back to the house.

"Han, I'm scared… I don't want to go away. We won't know anybody and maybe they won't keep us together."

"Don't be scared Jed, we'll be together. I'll make sure you're okay. If they try to separate us…well, it won't happen. You need to trust me now."

The night before we were to leave for the home, Miss Carlin made us what she called our special supper – ham, corn, potatoes and an apple pie. I watched to see if Jed would eat. He was eating a little bit more every day. He took a piece of the pie, bit into it and shyly smiled at Miss Carlin. Again, I thought it looked as if she was going to cry.

After supper she called us into the front room and sat us down. It seemed she was going to tell us something important, but she also seemed to be sorry about she was going to say.

"Boys, Doctor Delehanty will be taking you to the orphanage tomorrow. I want you to know that I will think of you every day. I am so sorry that I'm not able to take you in. I hope you understand."

"Sure, Miss Carlin, we know you're going back to your fam….… We'll be okay."

"Come, both of you, give me a hug."

The next morning Doc came for us and we rode in the back of his carriage. He didn't talk much and neither did we. After what seem to be forever, he pulled up to a large metal gate with "Valparaiso School for Waywards" painted in big, black letters. Behind the gate was a large, brick building.

"Han, what's a wayward?"

"Don't know Jed, don't worry about it."

"Boys, here we are. Here is your chance to go to school and learn a trade. Take advantage of it and take care of each other. Before we go in, Miss Carlin asked me to give you these packages."

Doc handed us two brown boxes, tied with string. "Can we open them now Doc?

"Sure, son, both of you, go ahead open them up".

We each had a letter from Miss Carlin, but we didn't read the letter there. I had a book called "Moby Dick" and Jed had a jacket – it looked like a warm jacket. He looked at the jacket and then at the gate. He put the jacket on.

Doc took us to the office, signed some papers and drove away.

Long time since I visited those days and times. Valparaiso was not exactly what Doc had explained it to be. I'm pretty sure he didn't realize where he was leaving us. Jed and I survived it though and when we could, we ran away. Years together, a time apart, and then together again. Jed grew out of Miss Carlin's jacket, but I was able to find a Sherpa at the Sisters of Charity used clothes barrel. A couple of sizes too big but he eventually grew into it. Still has never talked about that day.

"Hey Kid, how you feelin?" Heyes asked when Kid pushed opened the screen door and stepped out onto the porch.

"Better, actually kinda hungry."

"That's a good sign! Let's get you something to eat."

"Sounds good. Did you see my jacket anywhere?