Author's Note: Welcome to this thing I wrote because summer is hell and I couldn't sleep due to the heat!

So, I've been getting back into Percy Jackson recently, and the relationships between the demigods and their parents caught my attention. Kinda hard for it not to, since that's the main motivation for the series' antagonist. Most of them clearly resent the gods for one reason or another. Either for being used as pawns to do the gods' dirty work, the gods being absent in their kids' lives, or just the general hardships that come in their daily lives from being demigods. So I thought 'Hey, why don't I put that concept in this preschool cartoon?'

I originally considered having Zeus be Sofia's father, but he kind of gives off creepy vibes to me, so I chose not to. That, and you have to consider that Hera would make Sofia's life infinitely harder than it already would've been if I had picked a different god. Then I considered Ares, because there's something inherently funny about Sofia, this little ball of positivity, being the war god's daughter. I briefly considered Poseidon since her canon birth father was a sailor, but didn't for reasons I can't remember. But then I decided to choose the one god whose life as a hero was filled with hardships (Although, I'm sure Dionysus had to put up with some real BS when he was mortal, too). I chose his original Greek name to differentiate him from the Disney version.

And finally, the title is one of the lyrics from the theme song to The Mighty Hercules.

Sofia Balthazar was quite unlike her peers. When the other toddlers in Dunwiddie were still learning to walk, Sofia could already run with the greatest of ease. While the others were learning the letters and numbers, Sofia had already managed to learn to spell her name forwards and backwards. Quite unlike her peers indeed.

Oh, and did I forget to mention she was freakishly strong?

Yeah, little Sofia could put the strongest of horses to shame. Now, some people would hear this and think 'Super powered kid? I want one!'. But here's the thing about having a super strong child, there are bound to be some incidents. And Sofia had had several in her life.

The first one had happened when she was just a year old. In a rare moment for the toddler, Sofia had thrown a tantrum when her parents wouldn't let her have any more cake, and had banged her fists against her highchair's tray hard enough to crack it.

The second happened a few months later at her friend Ruby's house. The two had been playing catch, only for Sofia to throw the ball hard enough to smash a hole through the wall, thankfully missing Ruby. Sofia wasn't allowed to play with others unsupervised after that.

All throughout the village, people whispered about Birk, Miranda, and their daughter Sofia. At first, Sofia hadn't minded, but as she got older and stronger, and watched as more people kept their children away from her, she began to resent her strength.

By the time Sofia was six, she was strong enough to fell a tree with a single punch. Of course, after she had accidentally demonstrated this on a Buttercup hike, everybody but Ruby and Jade kept a wide distance from her. The poor girl had come home in tears.

Luckily, a light finally shined in her perpetual strength induced nightmare. Not long after her seventh birthday, she and her mother had to deliver a new pair of shoes to the king. Miranda and the king had quickly fallen for each other, and plans for their wedding were announced soon after.

A few weeks later, on the evening before Sofia and Miranda were to officially move into the castle, Sofia was packing up her few outfits when her mother called for her.

"Sofia." The little girl winced and wondered if her mother found out that she had broken another carriage. She reluctantly slipped into their shared room and saw Miranda in her bed. Miranda motioned for her daughter to sit next to her.

"This is exciting, isn't it? Being able to live in a castle as a queen and a princess."

"I guess. At least until I trip and smash through a wall and everyone starts treating me like a freak."

"You're not a freak," Miranda said firmly. "Sofia, we've talked about this."

Sofia scoffed. "Right, because Ruby rips doors off their hinges and Jade destroys schoolhouses when she tries to shoo flies away."

Miranda grimaced. Sofia's strength had caused her nothing but problems, and she doubted living in a castle would change her feelings towards it.

"About your strength-"

"I know, I need to keep it under control when we move. I'm trying, I promise! It's just so hard sometimes."

"I know it is," Miranda soothed. "But that's not what I wanted to talk about. It's about your father."

Sofia's breath hitched. They hadn't talked about her dad since he died. "What does Dad have to do with it? Last time I checked, he couldn't throw anchors across the harbor."

"I know that. But that's because, and I don't know how to tell you this, but…" Miranda trailed off.

"What? Mom, what is it?"

Miranda took a deep breath. "Sofia, I hate to say this, but Birk wasn't your birth father."

The look on Sofia's face pained her. Her daughter seemed to be cycling through every emotion possible. "He's… he's what?"

"Sofia-"

"What do you mean he's not my real dad? If this is a joke, it isn't funny!"

"I'm afraid it isn't, sweetheart. I met Birk a few weeks after I broke things off with… him."

"Who?"

"With… well, it's a bit complicated."

"Mom?" Sofia's voice was barely above a whisper. "Who is it?"

Miranda took another breath. "Before I say anything more, I want you to know that everything I'm about to tell you is completely true. Sofia, your birth father is Heracles."

A long silence filled the air. Sofia was trying to figure out if her mother was kidding or insane.

"Heracles?"

"Yes."

"Like, slayed the hydra Heracles?"

"That's right."

"The Heracles who bear hugged a giant to death? The Heracles who held up the sky that one time? That Heracles? He's my birth father?"

"Yes. That Heracles is your father."

Sofia was quiet as she thought of what to say. Finally, she settled on "Isn't he a god or something? And a myth? Kind of hard to be my dad if he isn't real."

"Most people think that, but believe me, he's real."

"You know that's insane, right?"

Miranda chuckled. "I know how it sounds, but I promise it's true."

Okay, her dad was apparently an ancient god. Sofia wanted to say her mom was playing some cruel joke, but it made too much sense. Although he hadn't been born with it, Heracles was the only person with strength equal to Sofia's. Her dad - er, Birk. What was she even supposed to call him now? - hadn't been anywhere near as strong as her.

"So, uh, how'd you two meet?"

Her mother had a blank look, as though she wasn't sure how she felt about their meeting. "Well, it was when I was visiting my brother in Galdiz. A dragon was attacking the town and had cornered me. I thought for sure I was a goner! Then, out of nowhere, he came and grabbed the dragon by its tail and threw it into the sea!

"After that, we got to know each other and a month or two later, I became pregnant with you."

Sofia felt like her mom was glossing over something, but she wasn't sure she wanted to ask.

"It was a wonderful time," her mood suddenly soured. "Of course it all fell apart when I found out he was married. But I can't say I regret it. After all, you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him."

I wouldn't have my stupid strength if it wasn't for him, Sofia thought bitterly. Out loud, she said "How come you never told me? And why did you wait until now? Did Dad ever know?"

Miranda wrapped an arm around her daughter's shoulder. "I wasn't sure how you would take it. Finding out your dad is a god? No doubt that's a shock to find out."

Understatement of the freakin' century, Mom.

"As for why I waited until now? I can't really say for certain. I was worried when you were two and broke Mrs. Henshaw's wall, but I didn't think your strength would increase the way it did. I wish I had told you sooner. Then you'd at least know where it came from."

"And Dad? Did he know?"

"Not at first. I didn't think it mattered at first, but then you cracked your highchair. After that, I kind of had to tell him."

Sofia said nothing more for several minutes. She was still trying to process what Miranda had told her. Eventually, her mother stood up and stretched.

"Alright, I suppose we should be getting ready for bed. We have a big day, after all." She turned to Sofia. "Do you think you'll be okay tomorrow?"

Sofia flexed her fingers and thought. "I… I think so, Mom. But I've got one more question."

"Yes?"

"Are we telling the king… about him?" She didn't want to refer to him by name just yet, and she certainly wasn't about to call him 'dad'.

"Only if you want to. If you don't want anybody to know, then I won't say a word."

"Thanks, Mom."

As night fell over Dunwiddie, Sofia lay in her bed thinking of what her mother told her. A god was her dad? How come he never visited? Did he even know she existed?

The soon-to-be princess sighed and quietly slipped out of her bed and grabbed a book she hadn't touched in years. She didn't even know why she had bought it, considering she had only read it once.

A Guide to Ancient Mythology

Sofia had some reading to do.

Author's Note: And that's that! Sorry if it felt like paragraphs of background information, and if the ending seemed abrupt. I decided that if I do decide to do more for this, I wanted to make Once Upon a Princess its own thing. And if I do write more for this, it'll just be a series of one shots that probably won't be in chronological order. I don't know, we'll see what happens. If people want me to write more, I will.