Batman Story:
"Clowning Around"
Jason awoke with a start as a bucket of water was splashed into his face. He jerked back, momentarily thinking that he was going to be electrocuted with the cattle prod again after Harley Quinn caught him by surprise when he entered one of Joker's dens searching for the clown.
He considered himself to be a tough guy—anyone who came back from the dead had to be tougher than most—but often reality set in and in the end his humanity slapped him in the face.
Jason coughed, water had gotten into his nostrils and throat.
He was temporarily blinded by a blinding light that was only enhanced by the water acting like an overcast across his pupils. He attempted to rub his eyes, but found himself restricted.
He blinked several times to clear his vision and then looked down at his body. He was held down on a wooden platform, his wrists and ankles bound with leather straps. There was also a leather brace across his stomach attached at either end of the platform, which looked more like an antiquated medical table from a century past.
Between his legs, he saw a frightful sight—a large bladed buzzsaw attached to an elbow arm crane, dropped from the ceiling at the end of the table. When he was unconscious, he thought he was dreaming of bees, but it must have been this buzzsaw when activated and tested.
Joker testing it out, as the blade had already bit in a couple of inches into the table.
Harley had been the one that splashed him with water. She was just putting the bucket down as Joker entered the room, a horrific room filled with tools of torture. The only access was through a door. Jason could see nothing but the wall to the outside corridor beyond.
"Ah, you're awake, my dear boy," Joker said. "Welcome back to the land of the living, so to speak." Joker laughed. "But if Batman isn't quicker, you're only be half your usual self." Joker patted the buzzsaw. Then he flinched as he touched a sharp part of the blade. His finger tip bled and he put his finger in his mouth. "Ow, now that's sharp!"
Harley held the cattle prod in her hand with a wide smile on her face. She pressed a button on the side and electricity danced from its two prong tips. "Shocking, aint it, bat boy?"
Jason's eyes widened. He remembered how it felt and his side still hurt where he was jabbed.
"Oh, not to worry, my boy. The cattle prod did its due diligence. You won't feel it again." Joker's eyes narrowed as if he had just seen something confounding, then he quickly raced to Jason's side. He put both hands on the upper part of Jason's face just under his eyes as if to frame something, moving his skin around. "Where it is? Where is my mark?"
Jason smirked. "Do you mean the 'J' scar you branded me with like a piece of meat?"
"Yes," Joker demanded. "Did you have plastic surgery?" Joker growled. Then he quickly calmed; one moment he could be high, the next low—emotionally unstable. He slapped Jason's face with two hard pats; Jason flinched. "Tsk, tsk…disappointing to say the least. You and I have a history, but no matter what happens, you'll always—and I mean: always—be mine!"
"I'm not 'your boy'!" Jason shouted. "As for the scar, I heal quickly."
Jason felt Joker's hard slap across his face, hit like an insolent child. Jason flinched. "You lie! I pressed that brand down to the bone! What's your secret? I have to know!" Joker then grabbed Jason's shirt and ripped it open, exposing his naked chest. He looked stunned. "What the hell? Not a scar on you! What are you doing? Bathing in Holy Water?"
"Something like that," he said, and then laughed mockingly, keeping the secret of the Lazarus Pit to himself. "And I take a lot of vitamins."
Joker sneered.
But then, suddenly, Joker's mouth broadened abnormally into a large smile as if a happy thought suddenly chimed into his demented mind. "Oh, really? Hmm…Perhaps another one will change your mind? But this time it won't be to your face I carve into."
Joker directed Jason's attention to the already buzzsaw in dramatic showmanship style.
"Kill me! Try it, Joker," Jason said. "I'll just keep coming back! I'll be your Jacob Marley."
"I hate that movie," Joker spat.
"And like Jacob Marley, I'll haunt you for all time."
"I had high hopes of making your death a spectacular one, but all you do is get on my nerves. I hate everything about you, especially your sarcasm! I think the sensible thing to do is to kill you, and get it over with, and then cut up your corpse. Then I'll burn it to make sure you stay dead."
Joker padded Jason's right thigh as if to give him some comfort, then seemed to squeeze it.
"But you and I will continue to spend some more one-on-one time together, thunder thighs," Joker said. "Killing you is easy, we both know about that." He chuckled.
Jason's curled his lip. Dick had given him that nickname and it seemed everyone was using it now. Fine, I have thick thighs. Move on!
"And this time, my dear boy," Joker continued, "and I mean this from the heart," he smiled largely, "compared to the others—you'll always be a cut above the rest!"
Joker laughed, but it started with a "Ah-woo, Ah-whoo, Ah-whoo…" then went to a "Hahahahahahahahaha!" echoing the entire room.
Joker reached over to a side table. He picked up a remote control, and flicked a switch. He turned on the buzzsaw.
And then left. Harley followed.
The buzzsaw moved at a slow pace cutting its teeth through the table, this was probably Joker's way of savouring the kill. Slow and steady, wait for Jason to bath in his upcoming death.
And yet, the psychopathic villain wasn't even in the room. A camera was mounted in the uppermost corner, but Joker was the type to watch. Why did he leave?
The saw blade cut through the table and sawdust spit from its sides.
The sound was deafening and his ears began to ring from the noise, but it wouldn't be long before something else hurt even more as the blade inched ever closer to his groin.
He had seen horror flicks when this happening and it wasn't pretty.
This would be his second death if he wasn't rescued.
"JOKER! GET BACK IN HERE AND FACE ME LIKE A MAN, YOU VILE, WHITE FACE, GROTESQUE SON OF A BITCH!" He shouted over the noise.
Speak of the devil and he shall come, Jason thought.
Joker was on the cell phone when he re-entered into the room, but he figured the villain was probably in the corridor when Jason shouted, because he appeared so quickly. Joker had his other ear plugged with a finger as if trying to hear the other on the other end of the phone over the noise. He obviously couldn't.
Joker mouthed something and then switched off the buzzsaw.
The blade revved down and Jason breathed a sigh of relief, sawdust was all over his pants.
He couldn't hear the first couple of words spoken by Joker, but then Joker said, "Yes, yes…all the money is safety transferred, but…oh, you spoiled sport. Poo!"
Jason opened his mouth to say something, but Joker raised a finger to hush him for a moment.
"You're a very smart man, sir, a man of my own heart, and it has been pleasure dealing with you. Speak to you soon." The call ended. Joker had a flip phone, closed it, and then placed in a pants pocket. "I'm afraid, I won't be able to enjoy your screams after all. You've been bought."
"Bought?"
"I auctioned you off, and one of your adversaries paid the full amount I asked," Joker said. "So, you'll be shipped off. The buzzsaw was just a means to get a little thrill." Joker laughed. "I so much enjoy clowning around with you, Jason."
"Sadistic bastard! Who 'bought' me?" Jason demanded.
"Ah, Jason, my boy…the end if nigh…" Joker said. "That was…" Joker wagged a finger. "Nope, I'm not going to tell you. I'll save it as a surprise. But he wants you very, very bad. So, time to package you up. I plan on gift wrapping you. What sort of message shall I put on the card?" Joker mused with a finger to his deep chin. "From Joker With Love….That's it!"
Joker let out a loud, hefty laugh.
Harley came into the room holding something under a small drop sheet. Joker then revealed it. Jason didn't need to have it explained to him that it was a bomb. "I don't think I need to explain, do I, Jason? You remember going BOOM, don't you?
"You may have been purchased, but I never said I would deliver you in one piece," Joker said, with a chuckle. "This facility will be blown sky high with you in it, but I'll still keep the money. I'm not going to give anyone the privilege of killing you, Jason. You are mine to kill, always!"
"You sadistic bastard!" Jason struggled fiercely against the binds. "Get me out of these things and let's go one-on-one. I owe yo so much pain for what you've caused me over the years!"
"Tsk, tsk, Jason, you're always so emotional. You need to light up. Enjoy your life. Don't be a such a sourpuss. Look at me, happiness always brings a smile to my face." Joker laughed lengthily. He then reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a small medical case. Unzipping it, he brought out what looked to be a surgical cutting scalpel. He crossed the floor and leaned over Jason's face. "This may not cut to the bone, but you've annoyed me. Time to sign my name again." Joker became deadly serious. "You'll always be mine! Even in death!"
Harley put the bomb down and then went over to the head of the platform and held Jason's head. Jason knew what was coming and he struggled violently. Harley held the sides of Jason's head tightly as Joker prepared to carve his marker into Jason's cheek.
When the blade began to cut Jason's skin just underneath his right eye in the form of a familiar J, Jason didn't scream, but he cursed louder than he ever had before.
"I'll you kill you, you son-of-a-bitch!…I SWEAR!"
Suddenly, sonic explosions rocked the corridor, then a massive blast sounded.
Joker turned, scalpel in hand. "What the?" Joker growled. He then looked back. "Well, my boy, looks like our fun has ended. Harley, let's get out of here before the Bat corners us."
"Good plan, Mistah J," she said.
"Toodols, my boy, but I'm sure you'll have a blast while I'm gone. Oh, and just for added giggles…" Joker activated the buzzsaw again.
Joker's laugh reverberated loudly as he and Harley fled down the hall.
"DAMN YOU, JOKER!"
Jason knew who had thrown the sonic device and called out to Batman.
Batman came around the corner and entered the room.
Jason shrugged with leather binds. Jason couldn't pull himself away from the buzzsaw.
"SHUT IT OFF! SHUT IT OFF!" Jason shouted over the noise.
Batman yanked at the wires jettisoning out of the ceiling, basically shutting git down. The saw blade revived down, the sides of the buzzsaw scraping against the inner edges of the table.
Jason breathed a deep sigh of relief as Batman cut his binds with a knife. Batman started with the legs first, then stomach, ending with the wrists.
Jason slid back, removing his legs from anywhere near what could have become his introduction to a new operatic career.
Batman gave him a sturdy hold until he was able to steady himself.
Jason said, "I've never been one to thank you for coming to my rescue, but thank you—Bruce. If you had come ten-seconds later, I'd be Jewish now."
Batman looked at him unimpressed. Batman then disarmed the bomb.
Jason wiped the blood from his face, then looked at his hand. "Joker started to carve my face up like a pumpkin, trying to brand me again. Know a good plastic surgeon?"
"Where's Joker?" Batman insisted.
"Always to the point, huh, Bruce? Gone," Jason said. "Apparently I was auctioned off. Joker didn't tell me, but I suspect it was Black Mask. I've been a thorn in his side as of late, seizing his latest weapons cache and blowing up a storage warehouse near the docks. He doesn't like me very much. However, Joker had no intention of handing me over, as you can see."
Batman scowled. "Never go after Joker alone again. I'm not losing you again."
"Oh, I never knew you cared so much about me, Bruce," Jason replied japed.
But Batman didn't say anything.
Jason followed him. "I'm going to kill that clown one day," he vowed.
Batman looked back at him.
Jason rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know. Cardinal Rule #1: We don't kill." But some of us do.
I'll hunt down Joker later. And kill the bastard with or without your help!
And they escaped Joker's facility to fight another day.
END