This fic was written for my Bad Things Happen Bingo for the prompt: Tearful Smile. This fic is apart of my Newsies Single Parents AU. This is kind of a prequel to them, since it takes place before the rest of the series.
Warnings for car accidents, detailed descriptions of injuries, some gore, grieving, funerals, Jack is not having a good time and major character death.
Disclaimer: Most of the stuff in this fic isn't accurate.
Two of Us
Jack never disliked the idea of kids. They were never something he imagined would be a part of his life. He already raised Race and Charlie for a part of his life. Once he married Katherine, she outright said no to kids. Saying maybe later. Right now their careers were in full swing.
Almost three years into their marriage, Jack found the pregnancy test in the bathroom. After digging it out of the trash can, he asked her about it. Kathrine shrugged and confirmed she was pregnant. They were happy. Forgetting what they said about kids before. It was their life now.
Months passed in a blur of baby showers and unsolicited advice. Soon they were welcoming Eloise into their small family. The next year was the hardest of Jack's life. But the happiest. Between balancing jobs and changing diapers, they were happy. Happiest they'd ever been.
It happened after that one year with the three of them together. It happened in a few moments.
"Say goodbye to Mommy," Jack said, balancing Eloise in his grasp.
"Bye, bye, Ellie." Katherine leaned over and kissed the baby's nose. "I'll see you in a few hours. Remember to tell Daddy he can't have coffee for dinner tonight."
"Ha. Ha. Ha. I haven't done that in . . ." Last week. He did that last week. "A few weeks."
Katherine gave him an unamused look but grinned. She grabbed her purse and gave Jack a kiss. Her hand lingered on his chin. He quirked an eyebrow.
"I thought we decided no on the beard," she joked.
"Aww, but Lolly loves it." He gestured to where Eloise was tapping his neck with her hand.
She rolled her eyes. Grabbing her keys off the little rack by the door. Katherine gave one more wave before exiting. A brief smile remained on Jack's face. She dressed for a friend's birthday party. In a halter dress that hit a few inches above the knee. She styled her hair, so it hung loose in curls. On her wrist was a bracelet he gave her back in high school. Every time Katherine wore that bracelet, he fell in love with her a bit more.
Within a few hours, Jack put Eloise down for the night and took out his art supplies. Tired with work, he began a stretch of Katherine. His favorite subject. He worked hours into the night. Only stopping to make himself a dinner of coffee. Smirking against Katherine's rules.
It was late. Jack yawned. He was going to wait up for Katherine. He checked his phone. 1:07. Weird. She was usually home by now for these things.
He changed into a pair of pajama pants. Katherine still wasn't home. He turned on the tv, his mind too distracted to focus on the Bob Ross program. Jack tried texting her. No answer. Calling her. No answer.
His phone rang at 2:27 am.
The contact read West Valley Medical Clinic .
Jack pressed the call button. "Hello?"
" Hello, Mr. Kelly? " a woman said on the other side.
"Yeah, who's this? Everything okay?"
" Mr. Kelly, my name is Dr. Wirth. Your wife, Katherine, was in a car accident about an hour ago."
Car accident? No. She couldn't have been in a car accident. Katherine would never drink and drive. Neither would her friends. But it made sense. She still wasn't home. Because of the accident. Ice ran through Jack and he shuffled through the apartment. What should he get? Who would watch Eloise? No, he would take her with him.
" She's at the West Valley Medical Clinic ."
Obviously. But Jack didn't say that. He wasn't Race.
"What should I get?" he asked, trying to keep his voice calm.
Stupid question. He should ask how she was. If she was going to be okay. But this was Kath they were talking about. Of course, she would be okay.
" It says on your records you two have a child ?"
"Eloise? She's a year old. Is she allowed?"
" Bring her along. Your wife . . ." Dr. Wirth gave a long sigh. " She's in critical condition."
No. Did that mean . . . ? No. They would save her. They had to save her. Jack couldn't lose her.
He took Eloise out of her crib. She wiggled but fell back asleep. He forgot the diaper bag on the way out. They didn't own a car. Walking would have to do. But he couldn't walk all this way. What else was he supposed to do?
Jack settled on calling an Uber. The driver arrived late. Gruff and slow. The last thing he needed then. Their driver groaned about seeing him with a baby, but what was Jack supposed to do?
At the hospital, he a nurse (or secretary, he didn't know) directed him to the ICU. Finding the Pulitzers, seated in navy, plastic chairs. Kate was wiping her nose with a handkerchief. Joseph had a firm hand on her knee. He directed Jack to an open seat with his open hand. But Jack couldn't sit.
"What's going on?" he asked, holding Eloise closer.
"We don't know," Joseph replied with a sigh, "Doctors won't tell us anything."
"But Kath is she . . . ?"
Joseph rose from his seat in a sharp action. Nearing Jack. Anger spread across his features. Kate reached out to him.
"I don't know, boy. My daughter is suffering because of you. She's going to die!"
"Joseph! We don't know that," Kate said, forcing him to sit back down.
She offered to hold Eloise, but Jack rejected her offer with a thank you. He began pacing when Eloise became fussy. Bouncing her in his arms. She calmed down within a few minutes. Nurses gave him dirty looks for disturbing the peace. But what was Jack supposed to do? He wished he could feel as at peace as Eloise did.
"Is there anyone else you need to call, Jack?" Kate wondered, "Your family? Your parents?"
He probably should call someone. But he couldn't get on the phone. What if they had news? Besides, Eloise needed him.
"Can't," Jack said.
"Why not?"
Please stop asking questions.
"In case anything happens."
A nurse approached them. Carrying a clipboard and a droopy expression.
Jack almost leaped over to her. "What happened? Is she okay? When can I see her?"
Joseph and Kate stood up, too, taking each other's hands. Joe was still in his business suit, he realized. Must have come straight from some sort of meeting. At one AM.
"Mrs. Kelly and her friends were hit by a drunk driver on the way home. It happened a little way from New York City," the nurse said.
Of course. Katherine hated the clubs in NYC. She would've convinced her friends to go to one a little ways away. She liked that one in Hudson.
"One of her friends was killed on impact. I believe her name was Prudence Murdoch."
It was Prudence's birthday they were celebrating.
"Mary Raymond is undergoing surgery right now. The other members of their party are mostly alright."
Jack adjusted his hold on Eloise. "What about Kath?"
"Mr. Kelly, why don't you sit down?" The nurse gestured to a seat. With shaking knees, the Pulitzers took a seat.
"I don't have time for that. What happened to Kath?"
"What do you know so far?"
"Nothing! They told me my wife was in an accident and she wasn't doing too good. Tell me what's going on!"
Kate rose and set a hand on Jack's shoulder. He brushed it off, eyeing the nurse. Mouth agape in his wrath. The nurse raised an eyebrow. Like she was his mother. By the looks of it, she could've been. He was about to make a comment, but she continued.
"Mr. Kelly-"
"Don't call me that. It's what teachers call you when you're in trouble and they hate you for napping through their stupids lessons."
The nurse huffed. "Please. Your wife is now in a critical state. We've done all that we can, but we're losing her. Mr. Kelly, your wife is dying."
His wife? Kath? Dying? She couldn't be. No, not his Kath. She was strong. She didn't allow him to drink only coffee for dinner. Was that the reason all this happened? Because he had coffee to replace an actual meal?
Jack's ears were ringing.
Why was the hospital so quiet ?
"What?" he whispered.
That couldn't be true. Right?
Katherine couldn't be . . . couldn't be dying .
"We believe she'll only last a few more hours. Would you like to see her?"
He didn't remember nodding. He didn't remember feeling anything.
Eloise swatted at him. Demanding his attention. Jack looked down. Shushing her and bouncing her. Going into overdrive. That was how he always functioned. This was what he always did. He followed the nurse down a hall. Without knowing if the Pulitzers were following him at all. As they reached the door, he stopped.
Jack couldn't go in there. He couldn't see Katherine-his wife hooked up to millions of little machines and tubes. He couldn't see how pale she must be.
"Do you wanna go first?" Jack asked the two others in a hoarse voice.
They nodded. Taking each other's hands again and entering. Jack caught a glimpse of her room. It was all white. Kath would hate that. She liked things to be colorful. He liked things to be colorful.
"Would you like me to take your baby?" the nurse asked.
She probably introduced herself, but he didn't remember her name.
"It's alright."
Jack couldn't get himself to sit down. Eloise wiggled. He moved her to his hip, where she seemed happier. She laid one hand on his chest. Reaching as high as he could. He would've snapped a picture of it or turned it into a drawing, but not now. Not while his wife was dying. Not when her mother was lying on a hospital bed with a few hours to live.
The Pulitzers left the room. Kate with tear-stained cheeks. Joseph held out his handkerchief to her.
"She wants to see you alone," Joseph said, helping his wife to a chair.
Jack nodded. Kate reached out to take Eloise. But he didn't let her take her. Eloise was all he had right now. He needed her.
"Please, Jack," Kate whispered.
Joseph cursed. "Just let the child go, Kelly. Kate'll take care of her."
Jack didn't answer before slipping inside the room. Closing the door behind him. He took a deep breath and turned around.
It was worse than what he imagined. Katherine laid on the hospital bed. Covered in crisp white sheets. They tucked a pillow under an arm for support. An IV pumped some sort of liquid into that arm. Some sort of tube wrapped around her neck. Looking like it was choking her. Another tab sprawled above her lip. A few badges wrapped around her wrist, giving the medical team clues on who she was. Her other arm was in a sling. Broken. Shattered. But worst of all was her head.
A syringe looking object stuck out of it. Having drilled into her skull. With a bit of dried blood surrounding the area. That was Katherine's head. The head he'd so tenderly kissed so many times.
He should've left Eloise out there.
"Jack," Katherine called out in a raspy voice, "Hey."
She attempted a smile, but that only seemed to hurt herself more. Jack forced himself to take a step forward. He moved Eloise to look over his shoulder. Blocking her from this scene.
"Hi, Kath," he said.
"Come here. You brought Eloise."
Jack gave a small smile. "Sure did. I can't go anywhere without my best girls."
Katherine couldn't laugh. She couldn't even smile. He mentally kicked himself for attempting humor in such a way.
"Jack. I know I'm not . . . Not gonna be here for much longer."
"Kath, don't say that."
It was true. They all knew it.
"Jack, please. Just listen. I'm dying. Right now."
"No! You're not dying! Stop saying that! Why can't everyone stop saying that?"
Her eyes met his. "Because I am."
With a frustrated growl, he swung the door open. Eloise began to cry again. With loud sobs that echoed through the hall. Joseph and Kate both jumped up. The former with an expression even tighter than Jack's.
"What did you do?" Joseph sneered at him.
"Go away," Jack mumbled.
"I asked you a question. Now answer me."
He didn't.
Joseph grabbed his shoulder. "You left my daughter alone in that room! My dying daughter-"
"Stop! Why does everyone keep saying that? Why does everyone claim my wife is dying? She's not. She's not . . ."
Jack fell to his knees. Keeping his own sobs to himself as Eloise bellowed out a loud cry. He patted her back. As comforting to himself as it was to her. She was dying. They kept telling him that. But they couldn't know. Katherine was going to live. How could she-herself claim she was dying? Because she wasn't. He wasn't going to let that happen. They were going to find a way. They were going to save her.
"Jack," Kate slid on the floor next to him, keeping a hand on his back, "You're afraid."
"I promise, I'm not scared."
"Yes, you are. Jack."
He rose, careful not to hurt Eloise. Jack began pacing again. Chasing away his thoughts as he attempted to calm his daughter. He sang. In a mumble, but sing. The same lullaby he used to sing to his brothers when they were younger. Eloise calmed down. She was as confused as he was.
A new nurse walked up to him. "Mrs. Kelly has asked to see you again. She also said she wanted to hold your daughter."
"Can she . . . do that?" Jack sniffled.
"Yes, we have a way of doing it."
Jack followed her into the room again. Taking another deep breath and stepped on the ground, almost like a stomp. He pressed a kiss to Eloise's head. Her little curls tickling his lips. He stepped inside. Finding the same scene.
The nurse helped Katherine hold Eloise. Without the baby, Jack put his hands in his pockets. Not sure what to do with them. Not sure what to do at all.
"Hey, Jack."
"I'm sorry," he said first, "I shouldn't of stopped out of here like that."
"It's okay."
He took a few steps forward, closing his hand over hers. She was even paler up close. No, don't think about that. Jack gave a teary smile. He didn't try to fight the emotion.
"I love you," was all she said.
Katherine closed her eyes.
It was all she could say. Now she was too exhausted for anything else. That was okay. Let her rest.
Jack remained at her side.
Her siblings came. Bearing their goodbyes. The Pulitzers returned. Weeping to themselves. Even Race and Crutchie stopped by. Giving support.
Jack stayed there.
Katherine slept through it all.
That was alright. She needed her rest.
His hand never left hers.
The nurse handed Eloise back to him as she fell asleep. She still fit into the crook of his arm. His two best girls. Right beside him.
Katherine fluttered her eyelids open. Eyes landing on him first. Jack gave a smile. Trying his best not to make it look too somber. He did not know how long it had been. It didn't matter. They were together. A family. The three of them.
"Hey, Jack."
And she grinned. Wincing through the pain. Jack kept his smile up. Katherine shouldn't have to see him so distressed before she went. If she went. The thought lingered in the back of his mind.
Katherine fell back asleep.
Her heart stopped at 5: 56 am.
Doctors ran into the room. Pushing Jack further and further away from his wife. He could see them pushing on her chest. Pushing life into her. Another brought out a tool. Like a box. It was a blur. A slow blur of events that kept going on. A nurse asked him to leave the room. So he did. Kissing the top of Eloise's head. Holding her with shaking hands.
Katherine's family swarmed around him. Demanding answers he couldn't give. No nurse could either. Kate once again asked to hold Eloise. Jack rejected again.
He was numb.
Hey, Jack.
"My name is Dr. Wirth."
The words brought Jack back to reality. He could feel Charlie's arms around him. Race's hand on his neck.
"As you all know, Mrs. Kelly was in a car accident earlier this morning."
Had it been only a few hours ago?
"She suffered from a traumatic brain injury."
Yeah. That was it. He remembered now.
"Mrs. Kelly is dead."
He knew it was inevitable. Yet Jack had hoped. Let himself hope Katherine would be alright. He shouldn't have let himself. He should have known.
She hated being called Mrs.
Jack didn't feel himself cry. He should be right now. His wife died. She was dead. Cry. Or did he not love her? Was that what made him lose her? Jack didn't love her enough? Probably. He didn't love his mother enough, and she died. Why did he allow himself to imagine such things? Why did Jack let himself not cry?
"Hey, Jack," Race said, in a low tone.
"Don't say that."
Those were Kath's last words.
There were too many people here. He needed air. Space. Something to make him feel again.
"Don't let anyone else hold her," Jack said, handing Eloise off to Race.
He looked up, eyebrows crossed. "Why? What're you doing?"
Jack began towards the door. He couldn't breathe in here. He laid a hand on the doorknob. Feeling how cold it was under his touch.
"Away."
"Sir," Dr. Wirth said, approaching him, "I need you to stay here."
"No. I gotta get away."
It came out as a mumble.
"Mr. Kelly, you aren't allowed to leave this room right now. Hospital rules."
What kind of stupid rule was that? Was he not allowed to get air? Jack needed to get out of there. Room full of people who hated him. Minus his brothers and daughter. Every Pulitzer laid their eyes on him. Watching his every move. Go away.
"Mr. Kelly, I really have to insist."
It wasn't a hospital protocol; he realized. They were keeping him in the room. This was the same hospital Jack they sent him to after he swallowed the bottle of painkillers. They knew what he did after his mom died. They knew about how Jack went into the bathroom and slit his wrists. They knew everything. So they wouldn't let him leave. They were afraid he was going to do it again. Even though it had been years. Years filled with therapy and support. But now. As Jack thought about it, it was exactly what he needed. His release.
Jack turned around. Finding Kate reaching over to hold Eloise. Instinct flowed through him as he ran over. Stopping Kate from ripping his daughter away.
"No. You can't touch her," he said. He almost yelled.
Joseph cursed at him. "Let her take the baby, Kelly! Eloise is her granddaughter."
"She's my daughter."
"And my daughter's dead!"
Silence filled the room. A room where people gathered together. To mourn. To sob. To speak in inaudible whispers. To try to understand their loss. But all eyes were on him. Everything was suffocating him.
"I hate you," Jack whispered, "I never told you before. But I hate you. Sometimes, I can't believe Kath was your daughter. You're terrible. I don't understand how someone like you, someone as terrible as you, could've raised someone as wonderful as her."
Joseph rose. "Get out."
"Already done."
Jack took Eloise from his brother. Carefully. Pressing a kiss to her head. He stormed out the doors before anyone could stop him. Running down the halls. With Eloise placed under his chin and wrapped in his arms. No-one stopped him. At least, he thought. He didn't know. Nothing around him felt real anymore.
Jagged breaths of cold air filled him once outside. He ordered another Uber. This time it came fast. Fast and too exhausted to make conversation. Jack sang in mumbles to his baby. Hoping it would be enough to get him through this.
It wouldn't. He already knew.
Jack slumped into the elevator. Pressing the close-door button a few times. Knowing it wouldn't work. He stumbled into the apartment. Standing only for Eloise's sake. He sat down at the table. Releasing some tension within him.
An unfinished sketch of Katherine laid there.
So happy. So carefree. So bubbly. So perfect. Everything Jack was not.
He set Eloise back in her crib. Letting his eyes wander the room. Pictures of the three of them. Of a family. Decorated the walls. Only there to mock him. To be everything he didn't have.
Jack had to leave.
He stepped into their own room. His now. Their-his bed was still made. Finished off with the throw pillows Katherine bought at a flea market. One in the middle, adorned with mermaid sequins. The ones that flipped over if he ran his hand down it. Kath loved those.
Jack closed the door.
Entering the living room. Even there he wasn't safe. More pictures. More family portraits. Kath's laptop plugged into the wall. Fully charged by now. But with no owner to write articles on it. A notepad with a few ideas scribbled on the pages sat next to it.
The apartment with filled with nothing but her.
He ducked into the bathroom. Staring at the striped shower curtain, she claimed she was obsessed with. Her brush was on the counter. Next to her curling iron. A few strands of hair were in the sink. Mixed in with a few hair brands. Jack picked up a strand. It curled. Auburn like her.
His hand couldn't stop shaking. So he put it down.
Jack checked in on Eloise. Still asleep. He began towards the crib. In a habit of always giving her a kiss when he checked on her. Katherine always teased him. Calling him a softie. She was everywhere in the room.
He needed to get out. An escape.
"Jackie?"
Crutchie?
"You home?"
Race?
They found him. Standing outside the nursery. Crutchie greeted him with a hug. Throwing his arms around his neck. Race guided him into the kitchen. Jack began to tell them no. But stopped. The drawing wasn't there anymore. Good.
"Jack, we're sorry. We really are," Race said, helping him into a chair.
"Katherine was great and-"
"Don't talk about her."
His brothers obeyed with no questions. Race poured a mug of Hot Chocolate. Even though it was in the middle of the summer. July. Their wedding anniversary was in a week.
Race and Crutchie stayed. Medda came over, too. Taking care of Eloise when she fussed. His family stayed with him. Letting him cry. Letting him mourn. Sometimes they told him comforting words. Sometimes they offered to do things.
"Jack, baby," Medda said, entering the room, "You didn't get any sleep last night. Why don't you go to bed? The boys and I'll take care of Eloise and make sure things are alright. How about that?"
Sleeping would mean going back into their room.
"I'm alright," Jack mumbled. Hiding his yawn.
"Honey, at least try."
"No thanks, Medda."
"Jack Francis Kelly, you need some sleep. It'll make you feel better and it's better for Eloise."
Race pulled Medda over to the other room. Jack could hear their whispers. Once they ended their conversation, Medda ducked into his room. Returning with a pair of pajama pants and a fresh t-shirt. Race set up the fold-out bed on the sofa. With no instructions, Jack changed in the bathroom and collapsed on the mattress.
He woke up to the smell of scrambled eggs and the sound of paper plates landing on the table. His back creaked after sleeping on the mattress. How long had it been?
Jack stumbled out of bed. Crutchie looked up from the table. He greeted him with a smile. Jack rubbed his neck.
"Time?" he croaked.
"Nine-thirty," Race called out, standing by the stove.
Jack leaned against the doorway, crossing his arms. "You didn't burn anything, did you?"
"What? Me burning anything? What?" Race said, mocking, "I would never."
"He managed to burn boiling water," Crutchie spoke up.
"You weren't supposed to tell him that!"
Jack gave a loud yawn. "Kath's at her meeting, right?"
His brother's faces faltered as they turned to each other. Oh, right. Katherine was . . . she was gone. Jack rubbed his eyes. Feeling their soreness. She was dead. She was dead. He was a widower. He didn't like that thought. Widower. At the age of twenty-five. Young. Too young.
"Sorry," Crutchie mumbled.
Jack's phone rang to interrupt the silence. He answered the call without reading who it was. Greeted by the voice of Joseph.
"After you ran away with my granddaughter, we arranged the funeral," he said, in a less than pleasant tone, "It's going to be held in a week from today."
A week from today. Their anniversary.
He nodded, realizing Joseph couldn't see him. He stuttered out an agreement. Then hung up.
Throwing his phone onto the hide-a-bed.
Jack threw down a breakfast of donuts and bad eggs. Only eating because otherwise his brothers would force the food down his throat. He staggered into Eloise's room. Finding Medda on the rocking chair, burping the baby. He could hear her whispers.
"Your mama went up to heaven this morning. You didn't get to know her very well, but she was a wonderful woman. She loved you. Very, very much. So does your daddy."
Jack cleared his throat, getting Medda to realize he was there. She gave him a smile and rose. Setting Eloise back down into the crib.
"Well, hiya, Jack," she said, "Did you get breakfast?"
"Yes, ma'am. You really taught those boys how to cook."
Medda smirked at his comment. Bringing him into another room.
But Jack couldn't focus. He was a single dad now. Eloise was without her mother. He didn't know how to raise his daughter. She wouldn't have her mom to run to after her first heartbreak. Wouldn't have her mom to rely on during those times of the month. Or have girl's nights where they ate ice cream for dinner and gossiped about the students at her high school. There wouldn't be a mom she could count on to go to Mother's Day activities with. Katherine wouldn't be there to help her get ready for prom or help her with her homework. None of that would happen. Not anymore.
His phone was ringing again when they returned. Medda offered to get it for him, but Jack said it was alright. He picked it up, answering it.
" You hung up on me ," Pulitzer accused.
"My apologies. You're such a delight to talk to."
" Kate and I are taking custody. "
"Custody of what?"
"Eloise."
The ice cube resting in Jack's chest plummeted down to his stomach. Eloise? They wanted to rip his daughter away from him? They couldn't do that. He was her father. It was impossible. It had to be.
"You can't do that," Jack told him.
"Look, you want what's best for your daughter, don't you? Well, think about it, Kelly. My wife and I can provide for the child better than you can. We'll give her an excellent education at a good, private school. Raise her to be a proper young lady. I am financially stable. You're an artist."
"I work for your company!"
" Indeed, but I can take that job away from you. I want my granddaughter."
Why now? Why was he doing this now? Hours after Katherine's death. Shouldn't they be mourning? If they had to worry about this, shouldn't they be doing this later?
"Look, Joe, Eloise is my daughter. You can't take her away. In a court-"
" In a court, they would see how you ran away with her ."
Jack shook his head. "They would-They woulda understand. I was grieving. I am grieving!"
"Oh, but that doesn't really help in your favor, does it? "
"Alright, we're getting a restraining order."
"I wouldn't threaten something that quickly. "
"Alright. Then agree to leave me and El' alone."
" Don't do anything you'll regret. "
With that, Joseph hung up. Jack groaned, finding his way to the nursery. Peering inside. Eloise was still asleep in the crib. With one hand tucked under her cheek. She had thrown off the blanket. He neared her and picked her up. Carefully. Not to disturb her. Jack sat down on the rocking chair. The chair Katherine found on Etsy when they found out she was pregnant. Rocking back and forth, like the gentle waves.
"I love you," Jack whispered, "He won't take you away from me."
The next week, he dressed in his old suit. One that he used for meetings at work. Sometimes parties at the Pulitzers. He hardly ever wore it. Hated it when he did. Jack put Eloise in a little black dress for the occasion. Kate sent it to him. Eloise didn't own anything black. The dress was all frills and bows. Katherine would've hated it. A little headband adorned with a rose went around her head. He tucked her little feet into socks and shoes.
He ordered a cab to take him to the funeral parlor. Dreadful old place. Apparently, it was where Joseph wanted to go after he passed. Jack would have to remember to exclusively state not to send his corpse here.
Jack didn't remember the funeral. His family was there. Medda took Eloise out when she fussed.
The Pulitzers were there. Every last one of them.
It was his wedding anniversary.
He couldn't get himself to remove his ring.
He saw Kath again. Peaceful. At rest. Pale. Cold. Her ring still laid on her finger.
They gave out flowers. Silly little things. Jack crumbled his up. Feeling the soft petals between his fingers. He could laugh. Katherine hated this kind of flower. Whatever they were. Too frilly for her.
There was dinner. A meal that felt dry in his mouth. He distracted himself by looking after Eloise. Making sure Joseph and Kate didn't go near her.
The apartment felt emptier as he trudged inside. Kath was dead. It was for certain now. She was gone. Buried six fix under the ground. He didn't know what to do now. There had to be things due for work or documents to fill out. Maybe. Jack read Eloise a story before tucking her into her crib.
He didn't sleep that night. He hardly ever did anymore. When he was in high school, he would claim sleep was for the weak to cover up the fact he had nightmares at night. High school was the worst time of his life.
But it was when he met Katherine.
The dorky girl in the school newspaper surrounded by a group of friends. A few streaks of her hair dyed purple. Later he would find out she did it against her father's wishes in an act of rebellion. They ground her for a month. Katherine accepted his invitation to go out with him to make her father angry. It hurt once he found out. But once they forgave each other, they became a couple. Not just to smite her father.
Jack plugged in his earbuds and took a scrap of paper and a pencil. And did what he always did. Drew. Turning up the volume of his music. Louder and louder.
"Hey, Jack?"
Katherine. He pulled out the earbud and ran to the other room. She wasn't there. She was gone.
Heaviness rushed over him. Bringing him to his knees. She was gone. She was gone. Why couldn't he remember that?
Jack found a box in the recycling. He ran back into the room. Glancing around. First, he threw their wedding photo off the wall. Into the box. More pictures. Into the box. The throw pillows. Box. Everything landed with a clank. He ventured into the bathroom. Scoping her beauty supplies inside. Ignoring how heavy the box was now. Everything went inside that was Kath's.
He ended up putting the box on the balcony. Unsure of what to do with it. Jack could spill everything down to the streets below. Or wait for garbage day. Maybe he could donate it. He locked the door behind him.
His phone was ringing.
Jack tore the earbuds out and answered the call.
"Hi, Jack."
Jan Neuharth. One of Katherine's friends. She was in the accident.
"Jan?"
"Yeah. I was wondering if there's anything I can do? I can babysit for Eloise-"
"No. That's okay."
There was a brief pause. "Are you sure? Please, I'd love to help. I really want to watch Eloise-"
"We're good. But thanks."
Jan huffed. "You're keeping her from seeing anyone, aren't you? I knew Mr. Pulitzer was right. He always is about you."
She hung up.
Fantastic. Now Joseph was sending spies after him. Jack found his way into Eloise's room. Sitting down on the small sofa they'd stuffed in there. He picked up one of her picture books. The room was a mess. Katherine always kept it clean. But now it matched the rest of the apartment in filthiness.
He skinned through the pages. Learning about a frog befriending a mouse and the farmer who was after them. Jack set the book back on the floor and yawned.
Eloise let out a shriek. Like she always did when alerting her parents she was awake from her nap. Jack stopped her before she continued her ritual of sobbing herself awake. He scooped her up and paced the room.
"Hey, Lolly, hey," he said, "You hungry?"
Jack gave her a pre-heated bottle. She rejected it. He went through the same drill of trying to see what she needed. Though she didn't need to be changed, he put her in a different outfit. Nothing ceased her crying.
"You want Mommy, don't ya?"
It stabbed through him. Usually, Jack would find Katherine. Or call her if he could. But now he couldn't. It was just the two of them. He was a single father. A widower. Without another parent to rely on. He bounced her slightly. Eloise's hand drifted to his chest. Squeezing one of his shirt buttons.
"I want her too, baby."
Jack kissed the top of her head.
"But it's just the two of us, now."
I'm sorry.
This is the second time I killed Katherine. I just like making Jack a single dad, I guess.
Thanks for reading!