First posted this on Ao3.
Not sure if the way I've formatted it works but I hope you enjoy the story. Obi-Wan is in a bad head space in the story so if you're easily triggered I would say pass this one. There's nothing too bad or explicit, just make sure you guys stay safe.
Another light went out. He had known for a while that it would, steadily getting dimmer and dimmer every day, before petering out entirely. Another Jedi who refused to fall, to join their new overlords, had reunited with the force.
Obi-Wan lent his head back against his prison wall, blue/grey eyes staring unseeingly up at the low ceiling. Anger swirled in his gut, hot and fierce. Screaming for release. He simply breathed through it. The Force-forsaken mask that was covering his face – again. Now didn't that bring up unpleasant memories – keeping all his emotion locked inside, bouncing it back at him with twice the strength it would have been otherwise. This was the punishment he had been bestowed by said 'Overlords'. Possibly the worst thing they could have done to him.
Obi-Wan was very familiar with injury and pain, his life as a Jedi and leader of an army saw to that, he could power through physical torture. Yet, with his connection with the Light all but severed he had no way to dispel his pain, instead blanketed by the Darkness that crooned untruths and false promises of freedom his mind was its own torture. Those who knew him closely were aware that Obi-Wan's biggest enemy was himself. So, he was left to his own devices, locked in the darkest cell at the bottom of who-knows-where, his only companion both the screams of those around him, and screams from the past that haunted him.
Obi-Wan blinked open his eyes, unsure when he had closed them – he was unsure of a lot nowadays – pushing himself up from where he was curled against the unforgivingly cold stone walls. He was always cold. The inferno in his chest couldn't touch the chill of the Darkness that penetrated his bones nor the real temperature that seemed to plummet every day that passed.
He paced aimlessly around his cell, the best alternative to mediation he had been able to find. Normally it allowed him to simply exist, the screams would quiet, and the fire would become embers. It was the only respite he had salvaged. Obi-Wan was going to need this peace later. While he normally was restricted to his cell, every once in a while, completely random so to not let him prepare, he was dragged out of his cell to kneel before the Sith Lord and all of his fallen brethren. The only time when the torture became physical, yet also the only time the kriffing mask came off. Though he would take the mask over that, every time. Seeing Jedi, he had known, maybe having passed them in the halls of the temple, even trained by them, stared at him with such disdain, eyes burning sulphur that reflected the anger he hid inside, broke something irreplaceable inside of him.
The way the room was surrounded by clones, all having been rounded up from the 212th, his own men! The fact that it was Cody who dragged him into that room, forcing him to his knees. That was enough to lessen the light, but what threatened to extinguish it, was Anakin.
Why is it always Anakin?
Anakin who looked at him with such contempt, such anger.
Anakin who had helped inflict pain on him and those he had once promised to protect.
Anakin who knew very well what the 212th meant to him and who seemed perfectly fine to see their friends stripped of all their free will, forced to bend to the will of those who thought of them as disposable.
Obi-Wan clenched his fists. His pacing stopped abruptly. He let out a breath, trying to centre himself, but the force continued to swirl in his ear,
"You have been so good to him, and this is how he repays you!"
"You are his Master! He answers to you!"
"They would have no idea what would hit them! You could paint the walls with their blood! Show them what true betrayal is, inflict the pain back on them,"
"They underestimate you!"
In his mind's eye, Obi-Wan could almost see the quivering, wrinkled features of Palpatine, his face lit by the glow of his own 'sabre as Obi-Wan slowly cuts him to pieces, limb by limb, forcing him to feel even half the pain Obi-Wan has experienced over his lifetime. A small smirk almost graces his face, thinking of Palpatine in a pool of his own blood, but it fled before it even appeared.
Obi-Wan clenched his eyes shut, attempting to purge the image from his mind, though it would only return in vengeance later. He took another slow breath, resuming his pacing. While they liked to believe that the audience with them was a complete surprise to him, the force hadn't completely abandoned him (like the Jedi had) and would always give him a slight prod.
He tried to relax back into his pacing, but he couldn't. It could be that he hadn't slept in 72 hours, or the headache he could feel incoming, yet it was most likely that the Darkside was so loud.
The voices in his head refused to quieten, instead just getting louder, his own anger almost blinding him at times, anger at himself, anger at Anakin, the force. Those who fell. The Jedi for abandoning him. Palpatine. It was all roaring in his mind. Concealed by a mask of calm that he had had plenty of opportunities to perfect. It was unbearable. He didn't know why this day was worse than usual. What had made him so unstable and –
"Good! Lean into the anger, let us in and be free! Strike down those that harmed you. Bring back the balance they destroyed. Have the justice you deserve!"
"There is no emotion, only peace," he murmured to himself, blocking out the slimy voice,
"Peace is a lie, there is only passion,"
It replied, amusement in its words. As much as he hated it, Obi-Wan agreed. He hadn't had peace…well ever. His whole life had been one disastrous event after another. The dark seemed to pulse in excitement when he conceded.
A scream that was definitely outside his head, pierced through his thoughts. He knew that scream. It was a familiar one, a sound that he had heard in both joy and sorrow but now it was filled with pain. All the fight deserted him. All he had done to resist breaking down, to give in, had evaporated in seconds. Hearing Ahsoka - his Grand padawan - in such agony, just…he sank to his knees choking back a sob. He couldn't do this any longer. There wasn't going to be a rescue and, unlike that Jedi earlier, he wouldn't ever be released into the Force. This was his eternity.
"You know what to do."
It wasn't angry or sarcastic, the voice was filled with genuine sadness, softer and full of feeling for him. He pressed a hand to his mouth, eyes burning, tears soaking into the fabric of the mask.
"I can't do this anymore," he whispered, voice ragged. Ahsoka's scream had stopped, replaced by crying. All he wanted was to comfort her, rip apart those that hurt her. This time the anger was all his.
"I won't let them destroy all I have left," he dropped his hands to his lap, head down. His breath hitched "what do I have left?" his voice echoed through his cell, almost mocking him.
/Nothing/
The silence whispered back to him.
/There is nothing. You are nothing/
"You have us."
The voice was not just a voice anymore, but several, layered on each other. The powerful dark and the gentle light.
"There will be no fear, no pain."
He knew what the voices were asking him, to give into the force. Completely. Light and dark.
"But what will be left of me?"
"There is no light without the dark,"
Came the reply.
"There is no light without the dark," he repeated. A strange sense of calm descending on him. He sat back on his hunches, shoulders back, head held high, "okay," he said, "okay".
The voices seemed to pause as if they couldn't believe he had agreed, he smiled softly at the confusion in his mind.
"After all, what do I have to lose." He closed his eyes. The cuffs on his hands clattered to the floor, giving him enough freedom to pull the mask of his head. The force slammed back into him, soothing the pain and anger that had been swirling inside.
Reaching for the Dark, while keeping a firm grasp on the light, he opened himself fully to the force. All aspects of it. The Dark took his emotion, sharpening it into a weapon, the Light took his tranquillity and strengthened him with it. The Darkness ravaged his mind, opening him up to all the power he had been limiting himself of while the Light followed swiftly soothing his pain, keeping him in check. He felt his shoulders relax. He hadn't even realised they were tense. The calmness stayed with him.
Even when he heard the heavy steps of the clones coming to collect him. Good. He could feel the Force curling around him.
"Sidious must go"
They murmured. Obi-Wan agreed. Sidious must go. For causing him so much anguish and twisting the Force's own child against It. He opened his eyes, getting to his feet in one graceful movement. Such gracefulness he'd been missing for years.
A gentle smile softened his face as he stood before his cell door waiting for his guards. He will kill Palpatine, setting the universe free, as the Force wishes. He is light and dark; he is focused and powerful. Serene and strong. He is the force, and nothing can stop