House of Puckett Season 1 Episode 4: House of Cheerfuls
INT. PR HOUSE SECOND FLOOR/SPENCER AND FREDDIE'S BEDROOM- MORNING
In the room, two mattresses are facing each other on the floor. Freddie's stuff and Spencer's have arrived in cardboard boxes. As Freddie brings in his last box, He sees that Spencer's stuff has taken up more room than his.
FREDDIE
Okay. We agreed that we share half the room! This doesn't look half! Okay?!
SPENCER
I've got a lot more stuff, sorry. Besides, I've left you the side with the most outlets as agreed.
FREDDIE
One of the outlets I need is on your side. For my neon-style nightlight.
SPENCER
Why can't it be on your side?
FREDDIE
I need to see it. It helps.
SPENCER
I'll agree to it, just as long as you allow me to put something on your side too.
FREDDIE
I guess that's reasonable.
Spencer pulls something out of one of his boxes. It is a poster of a dozen, flirtatious, large-chest, anime schoolgirls. He puts it on the wall, above Freddie's mattress.
SPENCER
(flirty)
Hello, ladies.
FREDDIE
(shocked)
That's what you want to put on my side?
SPENCER
Yeah, I need something to motivate me.
FREDDIE
(disgusted)
Oh, geez! No! Not in here!
SPENCER
No, that's not what I meant! It's to get me up in the morning.
FREDDIE
That's for sure.
Spencer dives back to the box to check something.
SPENCER
Let me see. I know I brought it here...there it is.
He pulls out a comic speech balloon, and presses it on the center bottom of the poster. It reads "Good Morning, Spencer-Senpai".
SPENCER
Perfect.
Millicent walks in. She looks around. She widens her eyes when she saw the poster, and look right at her dad.
MILLIE
(sarcastically)
Dad, you're scaring me.
Freddie nervously looks back at the poster and back at his daughter.
FREDDIE
(nervously)
It's not mine.
MILLIE
I know. The "Spencer-senpai" on her buffed hood gives it away. P.E. starts in a half an hour and I need you to take me.
FREDDIE
I don't have a car.
MILLIE
Well, unless you allow me to have the Wysk app, I'll be late unless I get a ride.
FREDDIE
You've should've told me earlier. I don't know what to tell you.
Sam walks in.
SAM
All unpack yet? Hey, did you know there's gonna be new neighbors across the street?
Freddie's stern face indicates, he has an idea.
FREDDIE
Sam, can you take Millie to Chino middle school for her class.
SAM
I thought her schooling is all online?
MILLIE
Not physical education. Unfortunately, it's required.
SAM
You have your own opinion, but for me, PE is the only class I feel like taking. Only if it's something that involves hitting someone like wrestling or dodgeball.
MILLIE
They banned dodgeball.
Sam's grin fades, after hearing that.
SAM
Oh. Well, I feel sorry for you.
Millie nods, in thanks for the nonchalant sympathy.
FREDDIE
Please, don't put those thoughts of violence into my kid's head, Sam.
SAM
Whatever, warden.
As the girls leave, Sam catches a quick, surprised glance at the anime poster.
SAM
By the way, Enrique's not allowed in here as long as that is.
She leaves the room, and closes the door.
EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD- MORNING
Millie walks outside with her bag. Sam rolls out her motorcycle.
MILLIE
(enthusiastic)
Awesome! We're using the motorcycle?
SAM
You bet.
Sam mounts on the bike. Millie walks to it, but Sam raises her hand to stop her.
SAM
Go get a helmet from the garage first.
MILLIE
Come on, bro. I thought you were cool.
SAM
Hey. I'm not gonna deal with your dad, if I bring you back with a cracked skull. Okay?
Millie grudgingly heads to the garage. Enrique walks outside. They look at the moving truck parked in front of the house across the street. The movers are still unloading.
ENRIQUE
They're still unpacking. Hey, we should introduce ourselves while we have the chance.
SAM
Bae, you see those films and shows about the characters hanging out with their neighbors all the time. Well, in real life, nobody does that. In fact, it's not normal.
ENRIQUE
We're not normal either. Also, talking is no longer normal. Everyone does their socializing online. At least, we'd be talking to real people. Besides, history is based on breaking norms or bringing back old ones.
SAM
You wanna go over there, I ain't stopping you. It's your funeral.
Millie comes back with a helmet. She puts it on, as she climbs on the bike. Sam revs it up. Millie holds on, as Sam rides out to the street and out of the cul-de-sac. Enrique walks to the moving truck. He looks around, and sees the movers putting multiple boxes on the pavement that say "The Cheerfuls". Enrique is curious. He walks to a mover.
ENRIQUE
'Cuse me, do you know where the Cheerfuls are?
The mover points in a direction, and Enrique walks to it. He approaches a brown-haired, clean-shaved man about Spencer's age.
ENRIQUE
Mr. Cheerful?
He turns around in response. They shake hands.
ENRIQUE
I'm Enrique Rodriguez, your neighbor.
MR. CHEERFUL
Nice to meet you.
ENRIQUE
You have such a unusual surname. You out of town?
MR. CHEERFUL
Out of state. My wife and I came from Washington state. We moved here to California and changed our surname for a fresh start together.
ENRIQUE
Well let me clear the air for you, everything you heard about this state..is true, but it still has a normal element to it.
MR. CHEERFUL
Good to know. (spots someone coming) Oh, here she is now.
Mr. Cheerful waves to his wife, who comes to them after noticing. She is also brown-haired, but is younger than her husband; just about Sam's age.
MR. CHEERFUL
Honey, this is our neighbor. Enrique.
MRS. CHEERFUL
Wow! It's so good seeing you! I love meeting new people! Love! Love! Love!
ENRIQUE
She's definitely an enthusiastic one. My wife's different. Good different though.
MRS. CHEERFUL
Say, why don't you and your wife come over tonight for a get to know you dinner?
MR. CHEERFUL
Uh, are you sure that's a good idea?
ENRIQUE
Don't worry, we'd be happy to do that. Hey, I'll bring a dish myself. I'm the cook in my household.
MRS. CHEERFUL
Ah, a man who cooks! She hit the jackpot!
ENRIQUE
So, she kept reminding me.
INT. PR HOUSE SECOND FLOOR- AFTERNOON
Freddie walks out of his room, with his cords and hardware. He is surprised to see Spencer with his art supplies on his portable table. Spencer is sketching, when Freddie marched over to him.
FREDDIE
Spencer, what are you doing? I was using that.
SPENCER
You didn't have your stuff here.
FREDDIE
I went to get it!
SPENCER
How was I suppose to know that?
FREDDIE
Considering that the portable table was paid for with my money! Maybe you could've asked me first?! Come on, I'm doing freelance tech support and I have a job right now.
SPENCER
Can you wait a minute? I'm feeling inspired right now.
FREDDIE
No, the job is an elderly lady who wants my help now. That's the whole point of this, so no one will go to companies who make you wait.
SPENCER
Well, when creativity hits you, it stays there for a moment. I have to imprint before it's gone. So..
Spencer indicates with his fingers that Freddie will have to wait. He resumes sketching. Freddie moans and rolls his head; facing the roof.
FREDDIE
Why couldn't I have the second room?!
MILLIE
Because, a girl needs her privacy.
Millie walks up and heads to her room. She shuts the door.
INT. PR HOUSE KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM- AFTERNOON
Enrique is in the midst of cooking, when Sam walked in.
SAM
So, how did it go?
ENRIQUE
Terrific. We're meeting them for dinner tonight.
SAM
(irritated)
Why do you hate me?
ENRIQUE
Cariño, they seem like nice people. Besides, I think it will help them, if we became friends with them.
SAM
What I hear is a lot of giving. Where's the getting part? I mean, isn't it a two-way street thing?
ENRIQUE
Well, I'm making my famous chorizo tamales if that interest you?
SAM
Keep talking.
They smile at each other.
EXT. CHEERFUL HOUSE- EVENING
Enrique, carrying the tamales in Tupperware, and Sam walk onto the patio.
ENRIQUE
I think you'll have much to talk about. They're from Washington like you.
SAM
Seriously? Any Washingtonians that chose Cheerful as a last name, would have to be complete nut jobs.
Enrique rings the door bell and an interesting ringtone played that confused Sam.
SAM
Why does that music sound familiar?
The door opens. Sam is startled with abhorrence, as she recognizes Mr. Cheerful.
SAM
Lewbert?!
LEWBERT
Oh crap, it you! (to Enrique) You're married to that demon witch?!
ENRIQUE
You two know each other?
SAM
I thought you'd be mopping up your man baby tears at the Bushwell.
LEWBERT
Funny. I thought you'd be in prison.
MRS. CHEERFUL (OS)
Sweetie, why are you making our guests wait so long?
As she comes to the door, Sam is full of dread and swiftly pulls Enrique behind her. She stands in front of him for protection and backs up.
SAM
Bae, stand behind me!
ENRIQUE
Why? Who is she?
NORA
Sam? Oh dear, Sam Puckett, is that you?
SAM
When I give the signal, you run back to house. I'll cover you.
ENRIQUE
Alright, but-
SAM
Now!
Sam grabs the tamales and throws them like a frisbee. It hits Lewbert hard, that it knocked him off his feet and he fell backwards on Nora. Sam and Enrique run swiftly.
INT. PR HOUSE/ENTRY HALLWAY- EVENING
A startled Sam and confused Enrique enter.
ENRIQUE
What just happened back there? Who were they?
SAM
Remember when I told about the unhinged woman who hold me and my friends hostage a couple times?
ENRIQUE
That was Nora Dershlilt?!
SAM
Yeah. That's why the ringtone was familiar. It's one of her dad's jingles, and how she got Carly's doorman involved; I'll never know.
ENRIQUE
Lewbert the doorman. Wasn't he the guy you pranked on the ICarly segment, "Messin' with Lewbert"? Didn't he have a wart?
SAM
He must have gotten rid of it when they abruptly teamed up to have their revenge against me. It explains why they moved here, and invited us over.
ENRIQUE
They looked pretty surprised, when they saw you. Besides, barely anyone knows we're married. Not even Spencer at first. it's not public knowledge.
SAM
That's how good their acting is.
ENRIQUE
What your saying is just theory with no evidence. They might actually be married and different people. It's been over five years since you last met her, that's a lot of time to change.
SAM
The last time she said she changed, she hold Spencer captive to blackmail me and ICarly. The very last time I saw her, she hold my friend, Dice, hostage to drag me out. Not this time. She's not gonna hurt those I care about.
She walks to the front door and locks it shut. Opens the closet, and pulls out a crowbar, binoculars, night vision goggles, and a crossbow.
INT. PR HOUSE/SECOND FLOOR- EVENING
Freddie is positioning the flatscreen, with Spencer eating chips on the couch.
SPENCER
A little more. You almost got it. Perfect. Just in time for the Olympics.
As Freddie climbs down the step-up ladder, he looks with frustration at where Spencer was sitting while the tv is playing.
FREDDIE
Dude, I was sitting there.
SPENCER
You weren't moments ago. Pick a new spot.
FREDDIE
That's the perfect spot! Besides, I left to position your flatscreen!
SPENCER
(snarky)
Yes, that's my tv and this is my couch. Kinda like that was your table.
Spencer eats his chips with a smirk. Sam walks up.
SAM
Batten down the hatches, soldiers! We're at war with the new neighbors!
FREDDIE
Seriously, Sam? They can't be that bad.
SAM
It's Nora Dershlilt.
With a jolt of fear, Freddie and Spencer frantically jump out of their positions, ran into their room, and locked the door. Sam opens a window and looks outside with her binoculars. Millie is out of the bathroom; confused by the commotion.
MILLIE
Who's Nora?
Freddie abruptly comes out and picks up his daughter into his room to protect her. He locks the door.
INT. PR HOUSE/SECOND FLOOR- EVENING
Sam is looking at the Cheerful house, through her binoculars with her night vision goggles on. So far, nothing has happened. Enrique walks up.
ENRIQUE
(tiredly)
You're not coming to bed, are you?
SAM
Night's the perfect time for them to strike.
ENRIQUE
Well, that hasn't happened yet. Come on, you'll be incapable if tired.
He pulls her arm, and she reluctantly heads downstairs.
INT. PR HOUSE SECOND FLOOR/SPENCER AND FREDDIE'S BEDROOM- MORNING
In their beds, Freddie grudgingly looks at the poster above, while Spencer does the same with the night light. He pulls it out; having Freddie react.
FREDDIE
Hey, that's mine!
SPENCER
It's keeping me awake!
FREDDIE
Fine! Just as long as you don't tamper with these.
Freddie turns on the air filters around his mattress. He sleeps smilingly, as Spencer is more annoyed.
SPENCER
(sarcastically)
Oh, sure. Nightlight's nothing compared to hurricane Benson!
FREDDIE
Don't you have something to help you sleep?!
SPENCER
As a matter of fact, I put on music to doze off to.
FREDDIE
As long as you keep it down.
Spencer puts his phone on his Bluetooth speakers. The Pagliacci number is blazing through the speakers; making Freddie jumps out of bed and angrily pull the phone out.
FREDDIE
Opera?! Are you kidding me?!
SPENCER
Well, it works! Doesn't it?
FREDDIE
Do you know how loud those singers are?!
SPENCER
And your filters are any different?!
Freddie throws the phone, and they continue arguing loudly.
INT. PR HOUSE/ SAM AND ENRIQUE'S BEDROOM- NIGHT
Through someone's point of view, a person walks through the front door, into the hallway, and to the bedroom. The person stares at Sam and Enrique sleeping peacefully. The person heads to Enrique, and grabs his throat with both hands. He chokes to death, while his eye's reflection shows that the maliciously-smiling killer is Nora. It fades away, as it was a nightmare Sam was having who was tossing and turning. Enrique tries to wake her up.
ENRIQUE
Sam, wake up. Wake up.
Sam wakes up, startled and panting. Enrique hugged her.
ENRIQUE
It was just a dream. Calm down. Okay?
Sam relaxes a bit.
MILLIE (O.S.)
Boy, you got some issues.
They were surprised to see Millie on the floor with a pillow and comforter at the bed's left side.
SAM
What are you doing down there?
MILLIE
I'll give you hint.
Freddie and Spencer barge in. They walk to opposite sides of the bed.
FREDDIE
I've had it! I can't share a room with him!
SPENCER
It's no picnic for me too! He can't sleep unless it's storm season!
FREDDIE
That's nothing compared to his music!
SPENCER
Well, now we know who loves opera! Which is just as important as your seat and table!
FREDDIE
Oh, much like your poster! Newflash: no girl like that will call you senpai!
Spencer and Freddie continue arguing. Sam, tired, steps out of bed and walks out of room. Enrique, who rubs his face, is caught in the middle. Moments later, they all are surprised when Freddie' air filters, table, Spencer's Bluetooth speakers, and both their mattresses fall to the backyard. They see it happening through the window above the bed. The last item to fall was Spencer's poster that attached itself to the window's glass. Sam returned and flopped on the bed headfirst. The boys were scared by what happened.
SPENCER AND FREDDIE
Never mind.
They immediately walk out of the room. Millie high-fives Sam as she walks out.
INT. PR HOUSE KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM- AFTERNOON
Spencer, Freddie, and Millie are eating toast for breakfast. Sam walked in, surprised by the scene.
SAM
Where's Enrique?
SPENCER
He said he was gonna take care of something. Probably from across the street.
Fright struck her, when Sam realized where he could have gone.
SAM
Oh no, he wouldn't! I need to get him away from there, before they do something to him!
MILLIE
Why? Where did he go?
She heads to the bedroom.
SAM
To the Cheerfuls, probably thinking he can make peace or crap like that.
Sam runs out with her crossbow, and out the front door.
FREDDIE
(shocked)
Does he have a death wish?!
INT. CHEERFUL HOUSE- EVENING
Sam kicks the door open with her foot. Lewbert and Nora reacted in surprise, as they were with Enrique in the living room. Sam aimed the crossbow at Nora. The Cheerfuls feel timid.
SAM
Get away from him! Enrique, come on.
ENRIQUE
(walks to Sam)
No, Sam. It not what you think.
SAM
Nora, I don't know what you told him, but you're not fooling me. I know what you and Lewbert are hiding. Don't deny it.
LEWBERT
Puckett, whatever you assumed-
NORA
It's true! We've been lying to you all this time! We're not married!
SAM
I knew it! Come on, out with it!
NORA
We..we..we're just engaged!
Nora starts sobbing. Sam lowers her crossbow in surprise.
NORA (CONT)
We changed our last names, so no one would think that we're living together. We've been living in sin!
SAM
Dershlilt, you've been living in sin before this! Kidnapping, extortion, assault, attempt to kill! Shall I go on?!
NORA
You're right, I was that horrible person who did everything you said. Then it all changed, when I met Jesus.
SAM
Where have I heard that before?
NORA
I know a great deal of people lied about coming to Him, but not me. You know why? Because I'm in love with Lewbie.
Sam and Enrique are grossed out by Nora's nickname for Lewbert.
LEWBERT
It's true. Ever since we got together, we've changed a lot. That's why you don't see my wart. It disappeared along with my disgusting personality.
SAM
How did this happened?
NORA
It was '18. I was released from prison, and I went to Carly's building for my revenge. Then, Lewbert greeted me at the lobby and we started snarling at each other.
LEWBERT
We were like two scorpions in a mating ritual. We slowed down, talked, and the rest was history. Our relationship has made us into people who really want a fresh start, we weren't lying about that. We were so dedicated that we changed both our surnames.
NORA
We planned the wedding last year, but then COVID-19 happened. We couldn't wait any longer, so we moved in together.
LEWBERT
We've kept that secret from our friends and families. It was bad enough they were against our relationship not just cause our histories, but the huge age difference as well. That's also why we moved here to Chino. We just wanted it to be just us, because we love each other.
Lewbert and Nora hold hands tenderly. Sam is confused.
ENRIQUE
If you want, you can stay here and keep an eye on them.
SAM
Okay, but I'm not convinced.
Enrique and Sam sit down.
INT. PR HOUSE KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM- AFTERNOON
Sam, Freddie, and Spencer walk in.
FREDDIE
You can't seriously believe she's changed.
SAM
I didn't say that but, from what I've seen, there's none of the old Nora.
They froze in shock, as they see Nora having coffee in the kitchen.
NORA
Hey, neighbors. I thought I might drop in.
Sam turn around and walks away.
SAM
Honey, pack everything up! We're moving!
THE END
The real life marriage of the actor and actress who played Lewbert and Nora was a certain influence for this episode's plotline. You'll be see more of them as recurring, redeemed, characters with a lot more comedy to come. Stay tuned for the next episode.