AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've had the head-canon that spawned this story for about a year now, and for that year, I've been struggling with writing this. Finally, I figured the damn thing out.

With some inspiration from the N7 Acceptance Letter included in the Mass Effect: Legendary Cache, here's my first Mass Effect fic.

Any feedback is appreciated, and I hope you all enjoy the story.

———

I had the dream again. Well, more a memory than a dream really, but it was an event I thought about often. One of the only good memories from my childhood on Earth.

It was in Vancouver, sometime in 2163. Keeping track of exact dates was difficult when you were too poor to so much as afford a simple watch. And that was exactly why I'd been hiding in the bushes, watching the tall, dark man walk through the park. He moved with a calmness you didn't see from most people living in this district, so I assumed he was a tourist, and tourists almost always had good money on them.

I watched while he sat down on a bench overlooking the Pacific. He leaned back and took in the site of the ocean, relaxing at the sight. Good. A relaxed person was an even easier mark.

I moved out of the bushes and snuck up behind him. The bench was made up of all these little bars instead of a completely solid surface, making it easy for me to slip my hand though to reach his pockets. I felt a sense of satisfaction when my hand reached something solid, but it wasn't a wallet. It was metal. A pistol, to be precise. I felt a moment of panic when the man seemed to notice the shifting around his pocket.

"Huh?" He turned around and locked eyes with me. Instead of doing the smart thing—giving up and leaving—I spent an extra half-second rifling through the pocket and finally found and grabbed his wallet. I got a good grip on it and then ran. He noticed, and when he stood up to follow, I thought I was done.

I just ran. Went through every back alley I knew of while I tried to escape. I needed to. I needed this. I needed to go at least one night that week with some food in my belly. But few things go as planned, and when I turned around to run into another alley, I slammed face-first into the man's chest.

Somehow he'd been able to outmaneuver me and come around from the other side. I didn't know how it was possible at the time, but I learned later that this was no ordinary man. This man was N7.

I thought I was as good as dead. I'd robbed the wrong person and now he'd take out the pistol, shoot me and get his wallet back. That was all anyone else I'd ever known would do. But instead, the pistol remained folded in his holster and he calmly held out his hand.

"Mind giving me my wallet back?" he asked. His voice was deep and commanding, but also oddly soothing. I didn't want to, and I could feel my stomach lurching in pain, but I reluctantly gave him back what I'd stolen and sadly watched him put it back in his pocket. I looked down, bracing myself for the inevitable punishment, but it didn't come. He kneeled down next to me.

"You were pretty fast back there, you know," he smiled. It made me feel uneasy. I'd never seen anyone smile unless they were about to hurt me. "Almost got away from me, too."

I said nothing. Just looked to the ground. I thought about running, but the man did still have a pistol.

"What's your name, child?" he asked. I stayed quiet. "I promise, I'm not going to hurt you." There was something surprising about his voice. It wasn't the usual malicious tone I heard from most. It was... earnest. Honest and sincere. I didn't trust easy, but something about him made him seem like I could tell him anything.

"I… don't know," I finally spoke up. "No one's ever bothered to give me one." I felt angry and ashamed.

"Hmm, a regular Jane Doe," he smiled again. Jane. I liked it. "So, what's a good kid like you doing out here by yourself? Do you have someplace to go?"

"N-no, but I'm doing just fine on my own!" was all I could stammer out. A truth and a lie. I didn't know where I was from, and there was nowhere safe I could stay at either. But while I'd survived longer than most, I was still malnourished and starving. The man looked contemplative for a moment.

"Come with me," he finally said, "maybe we can find a shelter for you to stay at." My eyes widened and a surge of fear blasted through me.

"No!" I shouted and tried to control myself as my eyes welled up. I tried to hold back. I couldn't let myself be weak, but my hand instinctively went to the scar on my back where they'd hit me with the whip. "Never again…"

"I'm sorry," he quickly apologized, "I didn't mean to upset you." He sighed and reached to his side. I thought he was going to grab his pistol. I froze and braced myself for the inevitable. He was too fast for me to run from.

"Here," he said, and pulled his wallet out instead. He reached inside it and pulled out some money, more money than I'd ever seen before. He placed the bills for several hundred dollars in my hand (most of Earth hadn't yet adopted the volus' unified credit system at that point).

"Buy yourself some hot food and nice clothes." I looked at the money he'd placed in my palm like it was the most incredible thing I'd ever seen, and at that point, it was. My walls crumbled down and a few tears streamed down my eyes. I didn't know kindness like this was possible.

"W-why?" I choked out.

"Because it's the right thing to do. Much as I may want to, I can't take you with me. I'm a soldier, and that life doesn't leave much room for raising another. But if this helps you in any way, then I'll do what I can." I'd never met a kinder person before. I wasn't much of a hugger, but I wrapped my arms around him anyways. I didn't want to let go, but after this, I didn't want to hold him back either. We were about to part ways when I spoke up one last time.

"You asked my name," I said, "but you didn't tell me yours." I wanted to know his name. Something to remember.

"It's David," he smiled. "David Anderson."

———

I woke up in my room on Shepard Station—named after 20th century astronaut Alan Shepard, the same explorer I took my last name from—and climbed out of bed. While we waited for our Spectre guest to arrive and had the Normandy undergo refueling, Captain Anderson had wanted all of us to get in some rest and relaxation before our next mission. No one knew what it was (pretty much no one bought the "shakedown run" story we'd been told), but the fact a Spectre was joining us had most of Normandy's crew on edge.

Nothing was known about them except they were turian, so the less suspicious of the ship's crew thought this was a political assignment and nothing more. I figured there was an element of truth to this. I doubted it was by accident that a turian Spectre was meeting us on a station orbiting Earth herself, or that said Spectre would be joining us on a ship of both human and turian design. But Anderson's refusal to disclose just why exactly the Spectre was joining us concerned me. I knew Anderson better than anyone else on the Normandy and keeping secrets wasn't his style. Whatever this shakedown run actually was, it had to be big.

But that was a concern for later. Right now, I sat up and grabbed the water bottle off the nightstand by the bed. Shepard Station wasn't a luxury resort, but it was nicer than most places you stayed on tour, and especially nicer than most military fuel stations. If I'd seen this place as a kid, I'd think it the most luxurious place in the galaxy.

After turning on the nightstand lamp, the room was bathed in a soft orange glow. Between that, the soft bed and soft red carpeting, and the room was quite cozy. Yes, Shepard Station wasn't a luxury resort, and it certainly wasn't a hotel, but there was a reason it was a popular place for ships and their crews to rest and refuel. I stood up and looked out the room window.

Looking at Earth always made me feel ambivalent. On one hand, it was beautiful when you looked at it from space. On the other hand, I knew all too well what it can really be like on the ground. Dirty, overcrowded streets, uncaring people, crime and murder and death. Earth was a world of endless beauty... and endless horror. It all depended on where you were. Though I guess that's true of anywhere in the galaxy, I suppose. I've had the privilege of experiencing both ends of the spectrum, seeing both sides of life. The worst humanity had to offer, but also the best. I turned my head from the window and walked back to the room's desk. I sat down and looked at the letter I'd received a few years ago from my N7 CO.

"Shepard.

"When I graduated from the N7 program I had the honor of meeting Admiral Grissom, the man who inspired me to pursue a career in the service, and I never thought I'd feel prouder in my life.

"I was mistaken.

"Don't get me wrong it was a big day, and important day. But there's something about welcoming driven young people like yourself into the ranks that's also pretty damn satisfying.

"Your distinguished service record may have gotten you into this program — but it was your courage, integrity, and tenacity that's enabled you to join an elite few. You represent the best of humanity, and I feel certain you'll make the galaxy a better place.

"And I'm not the only one who feels this way. Becoming an N7 means the entire Systems Alliance is telling you one thing — we believe in you.

"Let me end by saying this, welcome to the team, Shepard.

"We know you won't let us down.

"— David Anderson."

It'd been seven years since I'd gotten the letter, seven years since Elysium, but it was still my most important possession. It grounds me. Reminds me who I am and why I'm here.

Remembering how Anderson told me on Earth that he was a soldier, I signed up with the Alliance the day I turned eighteen, or at least the day I decided I did. I had to get a fake ID made, but my time in gangs on Earth made that relatively easy. Joining the Alliance finally gave me a purpose, and it let me explore the galaxy in ways I never would've dreamed of as a kid.

Then one day spending time on shore leave in Elysium, the world had been attacked by pirates. I helped fend off the attack, and apparently I did a good enough job that it got my N7 training consideration fast-tracked. N7 training, and a recommendation from a David Anderson who also volunteered to be my trainer.

I didn't know if he remembered me or if it was just coincidence—of course it was the former. Even with all the time that'd passed, Anderson recognized me the instant he saw my face on the news feeds—but it made me happier than I thought I could feel either way. When I was young, Anderson showed me that there were good people in this universe, and I held onto that for my entire childhood. As an adult, he helped show me how I could share that same kindness with others.

"As a soldier, you can spend your life as a weapon to take others, or you can spend your life as a good person saving them. It's up to you which kind of soldier—which kind of human being you want to be," was something he'd told me once. Though he always told me it was my own actions that led to this, I still credit him for helping turn me from a distrustful street urchin into a woman I can feel proud of.

I didn't like the praise I received for Elysium. I didn't always feel I deserved it since we still lost so many. But there were many more that I knew I'd saved, and that meant I'd made a difference. That meant I'd saved lives instead of just taking others. I could take comfort in that, at least. My omni-tool beeped as a new priority message came through.

"All staff of the SSV Normandy SR-1, report back to the ship as soon as possible. We need to get moving in approximately one hour.

"— Captain Anderson."

One hour was pretty short notice. Whatever we were actually gonna be doing with the Spectre, it must be urgent. I got up from the desk and made my way to the bathroom, taking a quick shower before getting dressed, gathering my supplies and heading back to the ship.

I saw a turian waiting outside the ship's airlock, clearly the Spectre judging from the armor. Even from a distance I could tell it was high-quality stuff. But even though I was far from the only Normandy crew member walking back to the ship, he seemed to be staring right at me specifically from the moment I'd entered the hanger bay. I tried not to think about as I made my way inside the ship along with everyone else.

I headed down to the ship's armory and picked up my gear. I put on my N7 armor and magnetized my weapons to my back. Years after earning it, the armor still felt good to wear. I opened my omni-tool and checked the time. There was still a good twenty-six minutes until liftoff.

I got in the ship's elevator and ascended back to the mess hall, then walked up the stairs to the CIC. I walked back to the airlock and stepped outside. I wanted one last look at Earth.

I had enough time to go to a small, more private observation deck near the hanger bay. You could barely hear all the hanger's machines from in here. It was a dimly lit room with drinks and a few windows to look outside. I walked to one of the smaller ones and looked out at the world so far below.

She was beautiful, and deep down, she was still like home. A part of me wanted to go back someday. Maybe not to live there, but just to see her again. Maybe someday I'd get back to Vancouver, too.

I heard footsteps approaching from behind and turned around. "Captain," I saluted.

"At ease, Shepard," Anderson chuckled. "It's just the two of us out here, there's no need for formality." I dropped the salute and sighed. We stood together in silence, looking outside at the world underneath. Memories seemed to be flashing back for both of us.

"Anderson?" I said.

"Yes, Shepard?"

"I know I've said it before, but thank you."

"What for?" he asked.

"Is that a serious question?" I replied with a smirk and raised eyebrow. He merely shrugged. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Thank you. For helping me discover who I am."

"Don't give me credit for your own accomplishments, and I'll always help you however I can, Jane." My chosen first name was something extremely important to me. No one used it, and that was fine by me. Anderson was the one exception, and that was also fine by me.

"Of course you will," I chuckled, "you're too damn nice not to."

"That makes two of us," he laughed. "You've grown a lot yourself. I'm proud of you." It was far from the first time he'd said it, but it always lifted my spirits all the same.

"Thank you, sir." We went quiet again, just enjoining the moment together and reminiscing over old memories. "You know, maybe some day we'll get back there. To Vancouver, I mean. I think I'd like to go back to that park some day," I said.

"Well, if this shakedown run goes well, we'll have to head back to Earth anyways to give our reports. If there's time available, then we'll go together," he promised. "Come on," he said, patting me on the shoulder and turning back to the ship, "let's get back to the Normandy and get this mission over with."

"I'll be right there," I said. I took one last, long look back at Earth. This was a world where I'd known only suffering, but it also helped make me the woman I am today.

Earth made me Jane Shepard, and I'm proud of who I am. And some day, I'll go back home. Get some closure, maybe help other kids that are growing up the way I did. I'll follow my mentor's lead and help anyone I can, however I can.

I checked my omni-tool again. Four minutes until liftoff. I stole one last glance at my homeworld, and with a newfound determination, I turned back to return to the Normandy. Whatever the future held, it'd be an adventure, and I was looking forward to it.

———

AUTHOR'S NOTE #2: Mass Effect: Legendary Edition is probably the most I've ever enjoyed the series, and I'm looking forward to writing more Mass Effect fics in the future… provided I can ever actually stay focused long enough to get something done, that is.