It was another boring day at Royal Woods Middle School. Days like today were so boring, not even a teacher as awesome as Mrs. Salter could make it better. Zach Gurdle was finding it harder and harder to concentrate with each passing minute. Instead of taking notes he was doodling pictures of aliens and zombies.
Finally the short redhead was broken out of his trance when the lunch bell rang. He got up out of his seat and left the classroom with his friends.
"That has to take the cake for the most boring period of middle school ever." said Rusty.
"You say that again," said Liam. "I was more zoned out than a goat after harvest season."
The five friends reached their lockers, all within the same five meter stretch of hallway. Zach did a double take over his back to make sure no one was watching him as he spun the dial on his locker. Once the combination had been entered, he opened the locker, only for a pie to immediately slam in his face. "Ahh!" he shouted from surprise.
"Zach! Are you okay? What was that?" exclaimed Clyde, looking over to see his friend covered in pie.
"I-I think I got pied." said Zach, still trying to process what had just happened. He then noticed a piece of paper fall out of his locker. The short redhead picked it up and read it to himself.
Zach,
I hope you liked the pie I sent you, I'm pying to see you again after school today. Bring your sense of humor because I sense humor in your future.
(heart) Giggles
Zach sighed a content huff of air. He was so busy with school and setting up bigfoot traps with his parents, he had completely forgotten he had a date with Giggles after school that day.
"What's that?" asked Stella.
"Oh, it's um, a letter from Giggles." replied Zach.
"Oho! Zach's got himself a cupid's note." said Liam.
"Who's Giggles?" asked Stella.
"A girl that Lincoln set Zach up with at a school dance last year." explained Clyde.
"We fell out of contact for a while since she goes to Hazeltucky School," said Zach. "But just recently we reached back out to each other and agreed to spend more time together."
"Go get her tiger!" encouraged Rusty.
"Hey guys, ready for lunch?" said Lincoln approaching the group. "I have some of my dad's chicken legs to trade."
Everyone voiced their approval.
Lincoln then noticed Zach's pie covered face. "Woah Zach, what happened?" he asked.
"Giggles." replied Zach with a smile.
Zach walked down the sidewalk toward Tall Timbers park. "Cologne? Check. Hair neat? Check. Fly zipped up? Check. Well, here goes nothing." he said to himself. He continued walking until he reached the bench Giggles said she would meet him. The redhead looked all around but did not see her. "She must be running late." he thought as he took a seat on the bench. But as soon as his rear made contact with the seat, a loud farting sound ripped through the air. Zach immediately shot up to see he had sat on a whoopie cushion.
Laughter erupted from behind a nearby tree. "What did you have for lunch?" said Giggles, revealing herself.
Zach laughed with his cheeks tinted pink. "Hi Giggles," he said nervously.
"Hidie ho Zach!" exclaimed Giggles. "Long time no see, I assume you received my little gift today?"
"I did," said Zach. "But how did you get into my locker?"
"We pranksters have our methods." replied Giggles.
"Does that mean you can crack into top secret government documents?" said Zach, getting excited.
Giggles laughed. "Well I'm not sure about that."
"You could always try some day," said Zach.
Giggles laughed again.
Zach had not intended to tell a joke, but he would take what he could get. "So, do you wanna see some of the bigfoot traps me and my parents set up around the park?" the redhead asked.
"What kind of traps?" asked Giggles.
"Mostly pitfalls, we do have some snare traps as well, but we usually save those for zombies."
"Those sound like the setups I use for pranks!" said Giggles.
"Cool!" said Zach. "Come on, there's one right behind those bushes."
"Hang on," said Giggles. "You're forgetting something." The clown dressed girl made an innocent face as she held out her hand.
Zach blushed. "Oh, uh, right." The redhead reached to grab the hand of his date, only to receive an electric shock.
Giggles laughed. "There's already a lot of buzz about us."
Zach could not help but laugh as well. He seriously should have seen that coming. Giggles then held out her other hand. "This time for real."
Zach hesitantly grabbed the hand, only to feel nothing but the skin of his date's hand on his. He proceeded to lead her over to a pile of foliage. "So right behind these bushes, my parents and I dug a giant pit. So if bigfoot ever comes through here he'll be trapped."
"Wow, you're quite the bigfoot prankster Zach." admired Giggles.
"This is very serious business, but I suppose it is similar to a prank." said Zach.
"What do you say we lure someone into this trap?" said Giggles.
"A person?" I don't think that's a good idea." said Zach. "The hole is pretty deep and they could get hurt."
"Hmmm, I know how to fix that." Giggles reached into her pocket and pulled out a huge deflated whoopie cushion. "This will help soften the landing."
"I still don't know about this," said Zach.
"It'll be fun." insisted Giggles. She smiled brightly at Zach.
"Oh okay." said Zach, smiling back at her.
"While I blow this thing up, you look for a good target." said Giggles.
"Aye aye!" saluted Zach. The redhead walked up to the top of a nearby hill and scanned the park. His eyes soon stopped on a familiar face. "Oooh, Chandler." said Zach rubbing his hands together. "Perfect."
Chandler was sitting by himself texting on his phone.
"Hey there Chandy man." said Zach walking up to Chandler.
"Don't call me that." said Chandler.
"Right, sure. Say, would you like to walk over to those bushes?"
"Why?" asked Chandler.
"Because I have some of my mom's cookies over there." said Zach.
Chandler gave Zach a weird look, but the latter held a poker face and soon the former gave in. "Alright."
Zach led the stereotypical popular boy over to the bushes.
"So where are the cookies?" asked Chandler.
Zach stopped walking. "Just right around there." he said pointing past the tarp covered pitfall. "Walk a little further and you'll see them."
Chandler kept walking. "Hey why would you leave cookies in some bushes unattended to-ahhh!" The popular boy had fallen into the hole. He bounced around on the whoopie cushion as it let out several deep farting noises.
"Oh man that was awesome!" exclaimed Giggles. She pulled Zach into a tight side hug which he lightly reciprocated. "You've got chops Zahcie."
"Aw thanks." said Zach. "It was nothing really."
"Looks like we both fell for Zach!" Giggles shouted down into the hole. "Hahaha!"
Chandler looked up and saw Giggles. "Whu-? Is that your girlfriend Zach?"
Zach blushed. "Well uh, not, erm…"
"Oooh, Zach's got a girlfri-ahh!" Chandler began to tease but was cut off as Giggles sprayed water down onto him.
"Water you jealous or something?" quipped Giggles.
"No!" Chandler immediately yelled. "Now get me out of here!"
Zach and Giggles helped Chandler out of the pitfall. The popular boy was completely unscathed thanks to the whoopie cushion but was very embarrassed. "Let's make a deal, I won't tease you about your girlfriend if you never do that to me again."
"She's not exactly my girlfri-"
"Do we have a deal?" interrupted Chandler.
"Ok sure," said Zach.
Chandler gave a small nod before walking off, trying to look as casual as possible.
"Zachie," said Giggles. "I'm not your girlfriend?" The young clown put on a sad face.
Zach slightly panicked. "I uh, yes, but it's not because…"
Giggles laughed. "I'm just messing with you. I get it. This is only our first official date, using a word like 'girlfriend' this soon would be awkward."
"Yeah, exactly." said Zach. "Glad you understand."
"Of course!" said Giggles. "Baby steps." She gave Zach a boop on the nose.
Zach's face turned pink once again. "So what do you want to do now?" he asked.
"Well, besides clowning around, one of my other favorite things to do at the park is sit back and watch the clouds roll by." said Giggles.
"I'm down for that," said Zach.
"Hahaha! Down! Good one!" laughed Giggles.
Zach had not even realized his pun but was satisfied he could make his date laugh so easily.
The two laid down on the grass and stared up at the sky. Zach pulled out a pair of binoculars that he used for trying to spot flying saucers and the like. At first the two did not exchange any words, and Zach started to get bored. A few minutes went by, and two large blinking eyes appeared in front of the redhead's vision. "Ahh!" Zach jerked the binoculars away from his face.
Giggles stood over him laughing. "I see you." she said.
Zach caught his breath. "Talk about eye contact."
Giggles laid back down next to Zach. "What are you trying to see?" she asked.
"Patrolling the skies for any alien space crafts." replied Zach.
Giggles was aware Zach believed aliens were real, one of the date locations he had suggested was his family's alien bunker, right after she suggested they stuff as many people as they could into one car, so she took what he said seriously. "Do you see any yet?"
"Nope," replied Zach. "It's usually less likely they'll appear during the day anyways."
"Speaking of that, I heard there was a huge alien scare in your town recently," said Giggles.
"Yeah," said Zach. "That was because of me. I lied about there being aliens in our town and then tried to fake a landing so I wouldn't look like a crackpot."
"That probably ail-iens you." joked Giggles.
"I know aliens are real," said Zach. "I just don't want everyone to think I'm crazy."
"I feel you Zachie," sighed Giggles. "People look at me like I'm crazy too because I like to dress up as a clown."
"Well that's stupid," said Zach. "The way you dress shows you have personality. And it's pretty cute." he added the last part hastily.
"Thanks," said Giggles, this time it was her turn to blush.
The pair talked for around another half hour until the sky started to turn pinkish orange.
"The sun is starting to set, I suppose we should wrap things up." said Giggles.
"We probably should," agreed Zach. Taking his date's hand in his, he walked her to the edge of Tall Timbers Park.
"I got a text from my mom," said Giggles. "She'll be here to pick me up in five minutes."
"Okay," said Zach. "I should get home too. My parents will be serving dinner pretty soon."
"Thanks for a fun afternoon," said Giggles. She leaned over and kissed Zach on the cheek.
Zach froze completely solid for a few moments. That kiss was the most unexpected things Giggles had done all day. The redhead mumbled a little before fully breaking his stupor. "Anytime," he slurred. "Hope we can do it again soon." The second part he spoke more clearly.
"For sure," said Giggles. "Until then, cheerio." The clown girl tossed a single O shaped grain at the red head.
Zach caught the cheerio and tucked it into his pocket. "Hehe, see you later." He took one last look at his date before he turned and started to head for home.
As Zach walked back to his house, reflecting on the afternoon he had, feeling the single cheerio in his pocket and lightly rubbing the part of his cheek where she kissed him, the only thing the redhead could do was giggle.