tolerate it

by Livvyanne

What would have happened if Amberly found out that Clarkeston was cheating on her? I was listening to "tolerate it" by Taylor Swift when I thought it sounded something like Amberly and Clarkeston's relationship. I don't own the song or the book.

I was listening to Taylor Swift, my favorite artist, and heard her song "tolerate it" and immediatly thought that this sounded like Amberly and Clarkeston's relationship. This is my songfic of what would have happened if Amberly found out Clarkeston was cheating on her. Forgive me for any spelling or grammar mistkes. I typed this up a while ago and posted it on Wattpad. I finally got around to posting it here, but when I switched it, it changed into the weird code format. I hope this works.

Amberly's P.O.V

A few days ago, I was spending time with the Elite in the Women's Room. I love all of them so much, but America is my favorite. She's so talented and reminds me of myself. I think she would do as well as queen. I don't know how Maxon hasn't chosen her yet. He obviously loves her and she obviously loves him. I love her, and Clarkston will hopefully get there eventually.

A knock came on the door to my room. "Come in," I say.

I glance over to see Maxon walking into my room with a sober look on his face. "Mom, can I talk to you?"

"Of course. What do you want to talk about?"

"I need to talk about dad, but I think the best way to tell you is to show you." Maxon quickly unbuttons his shirt and turns around.

I gasp. He has scars up and down his back. I can tell that some of them are fairly recent, while others are years old. "What happened?"

Suddenly, a thought pops into my head. "It wasn't your father, was it?"

"It was. I need to discuss the first time. I thought I was protecting you, but you need to know this."

I nod nervously.

"When I was younger, I could always tell when father invited his mistress to the palace. He would give you a great amount of wine and buy you an expensive gift as if to make up for it in advance."

I had always wondered what was up with those, but I always figured they were inspired by spontaneous bursts of love, not the other way around.

"He had stopped for a while, then when I was seven or eight, I saw it again. I caught her leaving. She told me she would say hello to my little sister."

I gasped.

"I told her to never come into my house again, like I, a young boy, could control her. Father soon called me into his office and lashed me with a cane."

I can't believe it. My Clarkston had cheated on me a lot, not to mention heated our son multiple times, by the looks of it.

"Anytime I did anything wrong after that, I knew what was coming. The most recent time was for America's presentation on the report. The one where she suggested that we eliminate the castes."

"I'm sorry. I had no idea. Would you mind leaving me alone to think about this?"

"Of course not."

Maxon leaves my room. I start crying and know that I need to do something with the emotions I'm feeling right now. I pull out my journal. I have never really done music before, but America inspired me.

I start writing:

I sit and watch you reading with your

Head low

I wake and watch you breathing with your

Eyes closed

I sit and watch you

And notice everything you do or don't do

You're so much older and wiser and I

I wait by the door like I'm just a kid

Use my best colors for your portrait

Lay the table with the fancy shit

And watch you tolerate it

If it's all in my head tell me now

Tell me I've got it wrong somehow

I know my love should be celebrated

But you tolerate it

After a few minutes, I stop. I'm still crying, thinking about Clarkston, but this is helping me. I have a slight tune in my head, but don't really know what to do with what I have. I need help. I need someone who I can trust's help. I need America's help. I write a note asking her to join me in my room.

A few minutes later I've stopped crying and America walks into my room. "You requested me, Your Majesty?"

"Yes. I need your help in writing a song, and please call me Amberly."

"Um… Yes, Ambery. What inspired you to write a song?"

"I just found out that Clarkston has been cheating on me for years from Maxon."

"Did Maxon tell you about the other part?" she says, sounding kind of nervous.

"His scars? Yes. He showed me them. How did you know?"

"He got caned right before the rebel attack and we ended up in a safe room together. He was obviously in pain and I pushed him to show me. He showed me and I treated his lashes."

"I think that this is just more proof that you two are perfect for each other."

"America smiles at me. "Thank you, Your- Sorry, Amberly."

"Anyway, the reason I called you here is because like I said, I need your help with a song. I'm trying to get my feelings out through writing a song. I've got a verse and the chorus written out and kind of a tune, but I'm not really sure what I want to do with it."

"Okay, read me what you have so far, unless you want to sing it?"

"I'll read it to you." I read it aloud.

"That is beautiful. I think that it works well. If we want to go to my room, I have a piano that we can work it out on, or I can bring my violin here to work on tune."

"We can go to your room." She leads me out the door and I follow her to her room.

"Welcome to my humble room." She tells me.

She has a piano in one corner and it is all in all a beautiful room. "It's very pretty," I say.

She smiles. "Thanks."

We both sit down at her piano and start working in my song. In about three hours we have it worked out. I've started crying a few times, but I think I'm doing well. We end up with it having the lyrics be this:

I sit and watch you reading with your

Head low

I wake and watch you breathing with your

Eyes closed

I sit and watch you

And notice everything you do or don't do

You're so much older and wiser and I

I wait by the door like I'm just a kid

Use my best colors for your portrait

Lay the table with the fancy shit

And watch you tolerate it

If it's all in my head tell me now

Tell me I've got it wrong somehow

I know my love should be celebrated

But you tolerate it

I greet you with a battle hero's welcome

I take your indiscretions all in good fun

I sit and listen

I polish plates until they gleam and glisten

You're so much older and wiser and I

I wait by the door like I'm just a kid

Use my best colors for your portrait

Lay the table with the fancy shit

And watch you tolerate it

If it's all in my head tell me now

Tell me I've got it wrong somehow

I know my love should be celebrated

But you tolerate it

While you were out building other worlds, where was I?

Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky

Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life

Drawing hearts in the byline

Always taking up too much space or time

You assume I'm fine

But what would you do if I, I

Break free and leave us in ruins

Took this dagger in me and removed it

Gain the weight of you then lose it

Believe me, I could do it

If it's all in my head tell me now

Tell me I've got it wrong somehow

I know my love should be celebrated

But you tolerate it

I sit and watch you

America smiles after we sing it one last time. "Amberly, you have a beautiful voice. You could have done well as a Five." She then gasps after she says that, realizing what she said. "I mean, I didn't mean that you should be any-"

"It's fine. I probably would have. I like to think about that sometimes. Like, what would I do if I was a Five or a Six instead of a One?"

"I know it wouldn't have been easy, but you would have been able to do it."

"This is a really unfair thing in our country. I know most people don't see it that way, but I will never forget my good friend. She was a Six, and she had five siblings and was the oldest. She gave up everything for her siblings," I tell her.

"I had a friend like that. He was a Six, he was the oldest, and I was terrified that he would work himself to death," she responds.

"I hope once you are queen, and Clarkston is gone, you and Maxon can work to fix the injustices in our country."

"We can try," she says sadly.

"I should be heading back to my rooms now. I don't think I will ever sing this song in public, I'm too scared of Clarkston's response. Thank you for today. It was comforting for me."

"I'm always here if you need me."

I leave her room, thinking about everything I learned today. I may confront Clarkston someday, but I might not. I'll see where time takes me.

I hope that you enjoyed this!