Shijima Go was dreaming about being cool and awesome, killing those bloody roidmudes as the legendary Kamen Rider Mach. His epic dream was abruptly halted by a psychotic kitten trying to scratch his face off. Go politely told the kitten to go fuck itself, then he looked over at his alarm clock. He was late for the movie! If he didn't get up now, he was going to miss "Kamen Rider Ghost: Three Kingdoms", and he wouldn't receive the special bonus DVD. He snapped his fingers and assembled his snazzy white tuxedo. Then he ran to the cinema with his arms behind him and a piece of toast in his mouth. He skidded to a stop right in front of his sister Kiriko, who was tutting loudly and tapping her foot. They had kissies however and that made it all better. Then that weirdo Tomari Shinnosuke also arrived. He was dressed in his banana outfit.
"I can't wait to see what Ghost does this time!" Kiriko squealed.
"Well, surely this movie won't be as crazy as the last one, right? What else could they possibly pull off?" Shinnosuke inquired.
"Bro, you clearly don't watch that much Kamen Rider if you're asking that." Go replied. The siblings had more kissies and then they went to wait in line. A cute NPC was about to hand Go the bonus DVD when the evilness alarm went off on Shinnosuke's phone. Roidmudes were attacking the local playground. Unfortunately, this meant that he and Go had to go. Kiriko promised to watch the movie for them. Tridoron drove into the cinema to collect the two Riders.
There were three roidmudes at the playground. One was a foetus looking thing with an umbilical cord. The other two were giant centaurs with guns attached all over. The children were all dead. Belt-san told Shinnosuke to use Type Technic for this job. Shinnosuke henshin'd and started blasting one of the centaurs with his door gun. Go went with Type Deadheat because why not. He ran up the side of the other centaur, who was trying to shoot him with a lot of guns. Luckily Go was really fast and cool so he made it to the centaur's head, and he punched it enthusiastically. With its superior strength, the centaur shook Go off, who landed on the rocky beach. Go used a Signal Change to make the centaur STOP. Then the other centaur plowed into it, as it had been tricked by Shinnosuke. The centaurs shot each other by accident. Go and Shinnosuke used their Full Throttle Finishers, kicking the centaurs with glowy feet to make them explode. Their roidmude numbers also exploded.
The pair high-fived and cheered loudly. They had been so wickedly radical just now. But then, drama. The foetus roidmude stabbed Go with its umbilical cord. Shinnosuke changed into Type Formula and fought desperately against the roidmude. Meanwhile, Kiriko ran over to Go, having heard his death screech from the cinema. She desperately tried to have kissies with him, but it was no good. He was dead as a doorknob. Kiriko cried into his mouth just to make sure. He still did not budge. Then the Universe couldn't cope with this turn of events and collapsed.
Go woke up to a kitten trying to scratch his face off. He politely told the kitten to go fuck itself, then he looked over at his alarm clock. He was late for the movie! He ran to the cinema with his arms behind him, a piece of toast in his mouth and the song "Déjà vu" blasting through his earphones. Kiriko was so upset she nearly slapped Go, but they had kissies and it was all better. Except, Go remembered having kissies already. Perhaps he forgot how much of a player he was. Anyway, Shinnosuke turned up in his pineapple suit and they lined up for the movie. Shinnosuke's evilness alarm went off abruptly and Tridoron drove over to collect the two Riders. Go seemed to remember this happening already.
As he suspected, there were three roidmudes at the playground and the children were eviscerated. After being knocked onto the surface of Mars, Go and Shinnosuke defeated the centaurs like total badasses. The foetus roidmude tried to stab Go, but he noticed in time and dodged the attack. Then it went for Shinnosuke, who had bent over to tie his shoelace. Go didn't want Shinnosuke to die, so he jumped in the way and got stabbed himself. Shinnosuke wailed and changed into Type Formula to fight the foetus. Meanwhile, Kiriko ran over Go and cried into his mouth to make sure he was in fact dead. In fact, he was. The Universe couldn't handle all this drama and collapsed.
Go woke up to a kitten trying to scratch his face off. Go was about to politely tell the kitten to go fuck itself, but then realised that he did not own a kitten. He looked over at his alarm with alarm. He was going to be late for a movie he has already not seen. More importantly however, there were children in imminent danger! Go snapped his fingers and changed into his running outfit. Then he ran over to the cinema where Kiriko was waiting angrily. He gave her only one kissy for now and scanned the area for Shinnosuke. His fellow Rider was dressed in his grape suit and ready to watch the movie. Go told him about the trouble afoot, and they raced over to the playground.
The roidmudes had unleashed some heaviness, but thankfully the children were still alive, just very slow. Belt-san asked how Go knew the roidmudes would be there. Shinnosuke thought about the deaths of Go he hadn't seen yet, and he had a sudden brainblast.
"My brain cells… Are in top gear!" Shinnosuke announced, tightening his tie. "Go, you must have experienced this already somehow. This makes me want to try something. Keep these roidmude occupied." Shinnosuke ran away to get something from the Drive Pit.
"Al-alright! I can take them. Just hurry!" Said Go. He henshin'd into Type Deadheat and took on both of the centaurs at once. They trapped him in a corner and shot him with their myriad guns. Go was about to lose when Kamen Rider Bravo came to assist. Together, they were more than a match for the roidmudes. They were knocked into a warehouse, where the battle raged on. Bravo used Durian Shoot to destroy a centaur, and Go Full Throttle'd the other centaur into oblivion. Then the foetus roidmude fired a placenta at Bravo, who died instantly. Go fought against the roidmude, but he was already tired out and he was overwhelmed. When the roidmude was about to stab Go with its umbilical cord, Shinnosuke arrived with a large black box. He put it over Go and waited to see what would happen. The umbilical cord struck the box and activated a mechanism inside it.
"Aha!" Said Shinnosuke, "Let's see what happens now! That box may or may not have unleashed a deadly toxin just this moment. It all depends on whether the isotope I put in there decayed or not. That is to say, Go might be dead now, but he also might not be dead. We have no way to tell, until the box unlocks in eight hours and we can observe him. He is effectively in a super state. What will happen next?"
Kiriko ran over to the box and she was unsure if she should cry yet. In response, the Universe sneezed and everything crumpled.
Go woke up in an abandoned warehouse, lying on the cold floor. His whole body was in tremendous pain for a few seconds, then the pain dissipated. As he sat up, it felt as though a kitten had started to scratch his face. He quickly remembered that the last thing he experienced was sudden darkness and a loud metallic noise. He wasn't sure if he had died or not, but now everyone else was gone. He looked around the warehouse, searching for clues. The crates that had fallen over during the fight were neatly stacked again, and there were no bullet holes in the area. Figuring that he had gone back in time again, but somewhat differently, he hurried to the playground to save the children that were presumably in danger.
The children were alive, and in fact Go was slightly early. The roidmudes turned up a minute later, but Go was ready. The incredible Kamen Rider Mach ambushed the foetus roidmude, grappling it from behind. The centaur roidmudes were proven to be quite retarded, as they opened fire on Go with little regard for the safety of their ally. Go flipped away and the foetus roidmude exploded, also showering blood all over the children. Shinnosuke arrived at the scene, stepping out of Tridoron dressed in his kiwi outfit (the fruit). Accompanying him was none other than Shijima Go. Somehow, he had separated into two. It definitely had something to do with that black box. The black box that Shinnosuke was now running off to acquire. Go hadn't been noticed by Go yet, so he sneakily went in pursuit of Shinnosuke. He followed him all the way back to the Drive Pit and confronted him.
"Don't use that black box, Shinnosuke. There must be another way."
"Go!? I told you to hold them off!"
"I am, don't worry."
"Huh?"
"Let's just say that your stupid plan worked. Now let's fix this for real."
"But how?"
"I defeated the roidmude that kills me, so we just need to wait for me and that other guy to finish off the other two. And then one of me needs to go."
"Go…"
"Let's go!"
"Right!"
The door to the Drive Pit was barricaded. A mysterious Rider attacked Go and severely wounded him. Shinnosuke changed into Type Speed and struck the assailant with his Handle Sword. It shattered on the foe's black armour.
"I am Kamen Rider… Chance. I'm going to fix what was broken." The mystery Rider attacked Go again. Without a chance to think, Shinnosuke lifted up the black box and dropped it over Go. Kamen Rider Chance's next attack hit the box and activated the mechanism. Go entered a super state again.
"Auuuuuugh, seriously dude!?" Chance groaned. The Universe shuddered and sneezed once more.
Go woke up in the dimly lit Drive Pit, the glow from assorted computers providing meagre illumination. He noticed that the black box was in its original position. He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned. This was getting to be too much for him. Regardless, he headed back to the playground.
This time, two Shijima Gos had shown up early. They wondered how that could be. It didn't quite make sense, especially because after the roidmudes attacked, three more Gos came to the rescue. There shouldn't have been this many of him, yet there they were. They convinced Shinnosuke this time, and co-operated in eliminating the Roidmude scum. The foetus roidmude stood no chance against six Riders. It exploded with brilliant rainbow flames, as did the centaurs. Go then asked the other versions of himself why there were five now.
"I don't know." Said Go.
"I don't know." Said Go.
"I don't know." Said Go.
"I don't know." Said Go.
"Well I don't know either." Said Go. Then Kamen Rider Chance rode onto the scene. He backflip-parked his bike and equipped a two pronged fork. Shinnosuke attacked without prior interrogation into the adversary's motive. His attacks as Type Wild failed, even when using Rumble Dump. He was downed in due course, so it was up to Go, Go, Go, Go and Go to stop Chance. They all used different signal bikes, but ultimately Chance's ability to split into two was simply too powerful. He was also able to sometimes land a hit on Go whenever he missed his mark. Everybody continued the fight on the explosion field, where Chance started to cause explosions. The Go team dramatically jumped away from explosions in slow motion several times. Kamen Rider Chance decided that now was the time to use his city annihilating pyramid, which was conveniently buried under the field. It rose up from the earth and Chance went into the cockpit at the top. It shot sand out of a cannon and destroyed a nearby district. The Gos looked at each other in confusion and fear. Lucklily, Harley Hendrickson Threw them a new signal bike to use. Go gladly caught it.
"Henshin!" Every Go shouted. TANDEM was activated, which fused all five Gos together. They became Kamen Rider GoGouGo, who stood about half as tall as the three story pyramid. Shinnosuke drove away in Tridoron because he stopped caring. Chance's pyramid grew arms and legs, and brawled with GoGouGo mano a mano. Every punch from GoGouGo was followed up by the effects of four more punches in succession. The pyramid used sand as armour, which might be considered cheating dependant on your region. It meant that no real damage was dealt, until GoGouGo started using fires punches. Then the sand turned into glass and shattered, exposing the vulnerable stones beneath. Chance used his final gamble, pointing the sand cannon at GoGouGo. GoGouGo charged up a Pentuple Kick, slowly jumped into the air and lazily glided through the barrel of the cannon. He emerged at the other side of the pyramid, which exploded. Kamen Rider Chance shrieked "Viva la bleu!" and exploded too.
Go divided back into five regular versions of himself. The experience was thrilling, but now they had to decide what to do with themselves. Kiriko came over to greet them, tears filling her eyes. One Shijima Go started running over to her, but he slipped on a banana peel and died. The other Gos stood around him and bemoaned that they had missed the movie.