Title: And I love You For It

Author: Sita Moonlight

Rating: T

Summary: "It's okay. I'm glad I went first, Dexter." It's dark and he can barely make out her ghostly form in the dim lighting. His body is still shaking, vibrating as he tries to push away images of the nightmare he just had of pulling her terrified form out of the icy water before she was snatched back under by a faceless monster… his Dark Passenger.

Gap-filler for Cold Snap. Takes place during my favorite scene of the episode, where Ghost!Deb comforts him after his nightmare.

A/N: Couldn't help myself. It's so hard knowing we have to wait until next Sunday for more Dexter. So in the meantime, here's another fic. I have a feeling I'll be writing a lot of one-shots as this season progresses.

"It's okay. I'm glad I went first, Dexter." It's dark and he can barely make out her ghostly form in the dim lighting. His body is still shaking, vibrating as he tries to push away images of the nightmare he just had of pulling her terrified form out of the icy water before she was snatched back under by a faceless monster… his Dark Passenger. "I hate to see you like this."

He lets himself fall back on the bed, rolling over onto his side. He can feel her presence behind him, trying to comfort him as she speaks again, "If you had died first, I would've been lost in the world without you." She rubs her hand lovingly down his shoulder, his side, "You're a changed man." She continues to stroke him soothingly, "Almost ten years without a kill… and I love you for it." Her words are passionate. He can sense the emotion as she speaks, and he squeezes his eyes shut, trying to will away the guilt that consumes him over her death.

"I don't want you to feel guilty." Her words are a mere whisper. She's reading his mind like she always does.

"I'll always feel guilty." He finally speaks, he swallows around the lump in his throat, emotion threatening to overwhelm him. "I wish you were really here."

He feels her hand wrap around his waist, her thin form warm against his back. Her fingers play with the material of his shirt as she presses her body against his. "Who says I'm not?" He can feel her hot breath against his neck.

He turns around so he's facing her. They're close. Too close. His nose brushes against hers as shadows dance across her face. He finds it ironic that when she was alive, he never would've wanted her this close, but now that she's gone… he craves it.

She's sleeps in bed with him most nights now. Although Dexter isn't sure she sleeps at all. Do ghosts that live in his imagination sleep? Is she even real? If she's not, why does she feel so real to him? Why can he touch her? Why can she touch him?

He reaches his hand out and he tangles it in her hair, the thin strands slipping through his fingers. "You're not real. You're not here. You're dead. I killed you." His voice breaks on the last word, and he notices her eyes soften.

"Oh, Dexter." She sighs. Her lips find his forehead, his cheek before he feels her lips press against his own. He freezes at the unexpected kiss. Although chaste, he's never felt her lips on his before. He discovers his body responding to her, his mouth opening as he unexpectedly deepens the kiss. His hands tangle in her hair and he pulls her closer. He wants to wrap her in his arms and never let go. Although too late, he dreams of protecting her, of keeping her safe.

"I miss you." He cries into her lips. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I miss you."

"Dex," She whispers. "I forgive you." She pulls back, her eyes finding his in the dark. "I forgave you a long time ago." Her hand reaches out and she runs it lovingly over his brow and down his cheek. "And you don't have to miss me… because I never left you. I never could leave you."

He reaches out, his thumb tracing her bottom lip, "It should've been me." His lips find hers again and he tries to convey to her what words can't. She kisses him back with the same intensity, the same passion. He breaks the kiss after another moment. "I should've been the one who died."

She shakes her head, "Did you not hear me before? I never would've been able to survive without you, Dexter. It had to be me."

It's strange that kissing her seems so natural, so right. He just wishes he'd had the chance to do it while she was alive. There are a lot of things he wishes he could change when it comes to Debra.

His mind flashes to his current girlfriend, Angela. Although unable to admit it to himself before, he knows the reason he picked her is because she reminds him of Debra. Her occupation, the way she carries herself, the way she talks, her mannerisms, her pin straight dark hair. All so much like Debra.

If only he could undo the past.

"I love you, Deb." His voice is soft, and he feels his eyes getting heavy, sleep beckoning.

"Go to sleep, Dex." His fingers find hers and she laces them through her own.

"You'll be here?" He mumbles, sleep already starting to claim him.

"I'll never leave."

He sleeps peacefully the rest of the night.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! As always, please review. Reviews motivate me to continue writing. :)