Gemma pulled down the decades old box from her closet shelf. She didn't open this box very often. To do so brought out wonderful memories but also the staggering pain of loss. It was sadly a feeling that she experienced far too many times in her life. But she pushed that aside as she rifled through the contents of the box. Because Gemma had a promise to uphold.

She finally found the plain, cream colored envelope with the hauntingly familiar handwriting on the front. It only faintly smelled of Marisa's perfume now. Another painful reminder of how long her friend had been gone. She traced the letters of her son's name with her fingertips, a wistful melancholy overwhelming her. She sat there in the middle of her closet, remembering the woman who became a sister to her. She had missed so much, died far too young.

Taking a steadying breath, Gemma placed the envelope on her dresser before putting the box back in its place. With one final look at the last remaining physical memories of her friend, she left to call her son.

Her idiot son who proposed in fucking IKEA.

"Ma," Jax called as he stepped into his childhood home.

"In the kitchen!"

Jax made his way towards the sound of Gemma's voice. She called and asked him to stop by the house after he left SCC. She was rather vague about why but he was betting it had something to do with his proposal. When he called her last week to scrap the diner proposal, Gemma's first response was, "What the fuck did you do now?" To say she was unimpressed when she found out about his impromptu IKEA proposal would be an understatement.

There was a lot of cursing involved.

He found Gemma pouring herself a cup of tea, which was never a good sign. She only broke out the tea when she was upset or sad. John called it her angst water.

Jax came to her side, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Everything okay?"

Gemma blinked a few times before looking up at him. She nodded and gestured for them to sit at the dining table. Once they were settled, she placed an envelope in front of him. An envelope with his name scribbled on the front of it.

Gemma cleared her throat before she began to talk.

"When the last round of chemo was unsuccessful, Marisa…" Gemma had to stop, emotions choking her up. "She was a planner and she knew she didn't have much time."

"She came to me with a big fucking stack of letters, said she needed me to play mailman for her. Then she made some joke about me wearing a uniform and role playing 'naughty mailman, lonely house husband with John."

Jax scrunched up his nose, making a note to bleach his brain after this.

Gemma let out a sad little laugh, her eyes filling with unshed tears. "She was very perceptive, that one. We all saw how much you adored Issa. I think most of us just thought you were fascinated because she was the first baby girl you ever really saw."

Jax doesn't remember any of this but he's heard countless stories about his toddler self following Issa around like an obedient Labrador Retriever.

"But she saw something before the rest of us. Among those letters was one to you. She made me promise to give it to you if you two ever got engaged. So here you go, Mr. I Can't Keep a Secret So I Had to Propose in Goddamn IKEA."

Gemma Teller, ladies and gentlemen.

"Do you know what it says?" Jax asked, staring at the envelope with wonder and a touch of fear.

It could be something supportive and loving but it could also be a scary shovel talk from beyond the grave. It was the Schrodinger's cat of letters from future, but dead, mothers-in-law. Which is probably a very small category of letters.

Gemma shook her head as she lit a cigarette. "No, baby. This is between you and her."

Jax was silent for a while, words momentarily escaping him. "What if she didn't approve?"

Gemma gave him a soft, wistful smile. She covered his hand with hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"I know you don't remember a lot about her but she adored you. Thought you were the cutest little thing. Took so many pictures of you and Issa together. I'm pretty sure whatever's in that letter isn't her voicing disapproval."

She snuffed out her cigarette and got up, placing a kiss on the top of his head before smacking it.

"Fucking IKEA," she grumbled as she walked away.

Once he was alone, Jax grabbed a beer from the fridge. He took a long drink in an attempt to settle his nerves. Taking a deep breath, he pulled the letter out and began to read.

My Darling Little Towhead Boy,

There are so many things I want to say. I've written and rewritten this first paragraph alone more times than I can count. It's difficult, finding the right words, knowing I won't be able to say them to you myself. I don't have much time left though and I need to make sure you understand some things.

I have had a blessed life. It may have been shorter than I wanted but I was surrounded by love for all of it. Alexander was a surprise. The very first time I saw him, I felt something in my being shift. Granted, I couldn't let him know that right away. The fucker already had an ego the size of Texas. He also was a bit of a whore and took the term animal lover a bit too far once but I'm digressing.

Jax choked back a sob because Marisa sounded so much like Issa. The fact that she wasn't here to see how much her and Issa were alike was heartbreaking.

That cocky biker turned out to be the love of my life. He has been the best husband and father I could have ever asked for and it breaks my heart to leave him. But I threatened to haunt the fuck out of Happy if he didn't watch out for my Alexander and my Isabelle. I know both of them will be in good hands, even without me physically by their side.

I left Gemma with specific instructions for this letter. So if you are reading it now, it means my prediction came true. I hope the proposal was better than Alexander's. We were in Vegas, high as fuck, and the asshole burst into tears when REO Speedwagon came on the radio and he started singing along to "Keep on Loving You". (I didn't have the heart to remind him the song was about rumors their lead singer's wife cheated). He then pulled a ring out from god knows where, tried to get on one knee to propose and passed out on the ground. I'm almost positive your proposal can't be any worse.

Jax wasn't sure if proposing in IKEA after threatening to leave Issa there stranded counted as better.

Your entire face always lights up when Isabelle is in the room. It's a wonder to behold. You are such a happy, sweet child already but when Isabelle is near, you positively glow. You are always so careful with her, like she's the most precious thing in the world to you. I hope you never lose that trait. Because even if I'm not here to see it for myself, I know she will turn out to be an amazing, strong woman. One that I truly believe you will be worthy of calling your wife.

Jax had to stop because he couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He placed the letter to the side for a moment, put his hands over his face and just let go. All the pain of loss - Marisa, Thomas, the members of SAMCRO who were like uncles to him - overwhelmed him. None of them would be there when he and Issa got married. He knew Issa felt that same loss and it hurt to know he couldn't shield her from it. It took a while before he could compose himself enough to finish reading.

So this is what I ask of you, Jackson. Always believe in her, especially in moments when she may doubt herself. Never lie to her. Well, not about important things. I lie every time Alexander asks if I like those horrid purple suede cowboy boots he thinks are cool. They aren't. Not even Prince could pull those off.

Trust in each other because without that, there is no foundation for a relationship to thrive. Do not let her walk all over you. If she is anything like me, she will try. She already has those damn puppy dog eyes that seem to work on everyone but Happy. She comes from a long line of strong willed women who have no problem steam rolling over anyone who lets them. Don't stifle that. Just have some fucking balls, okay?

Also, don't let her have matches without some sort of supervision. I'm pretty sure she's a pyromaniac in the making. I should probably include that little detail in my letters to Happy and Alexander too.

Finally, I want you to know how much I love you. I know John and Gemma will teach you to be a good man, a loving man who puts family above all. And I could ask for no better person for my daughter than that. Know that I will be looking down (or up since Happy always said I was going to hell for causing him decades of grief) on the two of you when you become husband and wife. Smiling and hopefully toasting with Jimi Hendrix, who lets be honest could have ended up in heaven or hell.

With all of my love,

Marisa (aka ghost mother-in-law)

P.S.

If you hurt my baby in any way, I will figure out how to possess someone living and stab you in your sleep.

Jax chuckled at her final warning, which was indeed a shovel talk from beyond the grave. But the laugh turned quickly into a gut wrenching sob. These were the final words of a loving mother who knew she would never see her daughter grow up. It was all too much, too many feelings churning in his head. All he could do was weep.

He wept for all the memories that were never made. He wept in relief knowing that Marisa would have celebrated their engagement. He wept because Marisa wouldn't be here to help Issa through all of their milestones. But most of all, he cried because he never got to know the incredible woman that gave him the most precious thing in his life.

He went home, eyes still red rimmed and emotionally raw. He opened their front door and was immediately welcomed with the scent of vanilla and cinnamon. He made his way to their kitchen, finding Issa pouring batter into half sheets, humming along to the radio. It was a common sight for him these days. What stopped him in his tracks, though, was the song playing.

And I meant

Every word I said

When I said that I loved you

I meant that I loved you forever

And I'm gonna keep on lovin' you

'Cause it's the only thing I wanna do

I don't want to sleep, I just want to keep on lovin' you

He didn't know what noise he made but Issa turned around fast. She smiled when she saw him but it quickly fell away when she got a good look at his face. She put down the mixing bowl in her hand and rushed towards him.

"Jax? Baby, what's wrong?"

He couldn't say anything, the final strains of the song hitting him like a punch in the gut. How could he explain? This fucking song would now mean way more to him than a love ballad from the 80s should. So instead of words, he pulled Issa into his arms, tucking his face in the crook of her neck.

She wrapped her arms around him tight, rubbing comforting circles on his back. "You wanna talk about it?"

All he could do was shake his head no. He couldn't bring himself to talk about the letter right now and Issa didn't push. She just held him as Bold as Love by Jimi Hendrix came on next.

Blue are the life-giving waters taken for granted,

They quietly understand

Once happy turquoise armies lay opposite ready,

But wonder why the fight is on

But they're all bold as love, yeah, they're all bold as love

Yeah, they're all bold as love

Just ask the axis

They started to sway, letting the music wash over them. Issa sang along softly as tears slipped down his cheek. It was easy for him to picture Tig and Marisa doing much the same thing decades ago. Maybe even to this exact same song.

Even though it had been an emotionally exhausting few hours, having Marisa's blessing settled something in him. Gemma always said Marisa was an excellent judge of character. He felt honored that she saw something in him, even at such a young age, that made her trust him with Issa's heart.

They kept dancing, wrapped up in each other and in this impromptu moment. Jax wasn't particularly religious nor did he have much of an opinion about what lies beyond death. But when Prince's Sometimes it Snows in April came on next, he knew with absolute certainty Marisa Trager was haunting their radio.

Which was infinitely better than stabbing him in his sleep.